College class. Group project. Two out of four classmates never even showed up to put in their contribution to the group presentation. So on the day of the presentation, I stayed in my seat and let the two clueless slobs stand up and try to give the presentation with zero preparation or knowledge of what it was. Did they expect to get credit for this presentation while I actually, truly, not my imagination, DID 80% of the work? When the instructor asked me in front of the whole class why I wasn't up front to give the presentation, I said, "Division of labor." I got an A. This instructor knew what was going on.
Yes! I’ve felt this way for the past decade. I don’t know why no matter how hard I try it’s never enough it’s always wrong or TMI. So I quit doing things for others & I don’t talk much either. The older I get the less I enjoy relationships; too much work too less reciprocity too much repeating shared discussions not cool😕
I take care of my adult disabled son for 33 years and counting, and often feel underappreciated and resentful because he doesn't know or acknowledge how much hard work I do for him. What you said makes sense how no one else can fathom what we do in a day. I call it behind the scenes work. A lot of it is thinking so of course he isn't going to have a clue. Thanks for covering this Dr. Scott.
The older I get the more invisible and insignificant I feel from others 100%! I now understand why people over 60-65 are called the invisible age group! 😢
Dr Scott I love you, not in romantic way by any means 😅 but in a "brotherly" way. You Can express things that I feel and live with such a precision. I feel that you know me more than I know myself. Keep up the good work you're awesome. 👐👐
This is really good common sense, I like the idea of slacking a bit, nobody will notice, it was prob the perfectionism causing me to do more than necessary
Helped a neighbor move, while I was recovering from emergency surgery. She's ghosted me. Guess she got what she wanted out of me. Glad to know who she really is and that I don't want her in my life.
That’s great advice, thank you. It’s really hard to consider my own opinion on the hard work I do. Feels like nothing. But it’s the most important thing. This is something I already know but hearing from others over and over helps untangle the mess in my brain.
Good video; thanks for sharing example from your personal life. I've found this chronic feeling can also be related to another very negative situation where - not only do you not get credit - but another person either sabotages you & takes the credit due you (when they had nothing to do with the good deeds), and worse, they deliberately lie about you, setting you up for disrespect and a domino effect that spreads to other people not believing or trusting you. The tangled web gets so large for so long, that the situation becomes nearly impossible to share, or for someone else to have the time or motivation to listen.
So, no raise in ten years? I feel very ignored and unappreciated at work. But I can't leave until I want to retire because I believe no one will hire me at my age. My adukt kids think I am crazy for staying in this job. I do feel my self-esteem has been affected negatively. So, yes, I feel ignored and taken advantage of.
What you describe was exactly my situation too. For me, it was 6 years with no raise, but that was only because 6 years previous, they matched a job offer I received. For others in the company, it was 10 years. I told them we were being taken advantage of when I finally quit. I haven’t decided if I am retired now, or if I will find a new job - I’m right on the edge of feeling comfortable with retirement. I know being older works against me, so I don’t blame you for not leaving. But I definitely needed a break from that place.
Never once in my entire life have I made the threat of leaving because I've had enough and had that person do anything or care enough to want to make it right. They always choose, seemingly so easily to walk away like I never mattered the whole time. It leaves me feeling used, upset and pretty empty. It's so hard to be the one who puts their heart into everyone only to find out I never meant anything to them.
i left five jobs in my life always to go on to something new, different and enjoyable....it was always a plus. My last job had a lot of slackers and i was totally unappreciated and when i left i missed the work but not most of the people.
I have been feeling this way, but the people in my life who are contributing to this feeling have issues of their own. So I can't tell someone who is dealing with physical or mental illness, that I need emotional support. But still, I have been in need of it, and so feel vexed when none of these people even ask how I am. It did occur to me just the other day, that I need to take a break, at least from hoping for a quid pro quo, and get some self-nurturing from doing some things I like, and not from people.
Thank you, Dr Scott. You really make these inexplicable feelings make sense so that I can deal with them. Spooky timing uploading this video today and this is exactly the thing I’m over here trying to figure out! LOL! It is taking me more time than I’d like for picking myself back up, but it would seem this is the best way. No one can lift me up, I’ve got to do it. Am about 2/3 the way there, will keep working on it so I can get back to living my life.
You have the greatest job in the world. You only need to tell everyone who has a mental problems to pay you and pay your peers in the industry, to tell your patients to go help themselves. To make things even sweeter, you get to crap on everyone who rejects the notion of others who are the culprit who contribute to one mental problems. Why did I not get a degree in psychiatry and to get to shove the solution of “go and help yourself” up every patient’s bottom and get paid handsomely for it and sleep soundly every night,
I teach and tutor. I used to work 80-hour weeks to pay rent and my then-partner's tuition. I have been EXTREMELY vocal about my feelings underappreciated my entire adult life and have only ever received...crickets. ...I'm entirely screwed.
i'm asperger and i'm pretty sure it's not a belief but really how we are seen... like if others thought we were not fully conscious, or like if we were a young child... 0:33
Any people here who have had long standing existential suffering, high sensitivity, cptsd, and also is seriously interested in depth psychology, genuine no nonsense spirituality, trauma/somatic research? Are you also longing for a deeper, loving connection with others, networking in some shape or form? Perhaps it is time to start an online community with honest hearts? I live in Sweden and it would be interesting to recieve ideas and comments. I was thinking from perhaps 40 years of age and no stop in the other end.
I'm done. I don't have children or a husband so I can officially check out. After the death of my Mama no one spoke of my Mama and yes she had mental health issues but for the most part she kept to herself the last 25 years of her life. She didn't socialize. She might would call her childrens phones from time to time and even that was too much for my siblings to deal with. I've had one 5 minute conversation about my Mama w my sister and that's it in the last year. The house my Mama n I paid for was taken over by her ungrateful narcissistic son. I'm a lot like my Mama so after seeing how they have responded to her absence in life I can only come to the conclusion they feel the same towards me. She was a burden apparently. Therefore I guess so am I. I cannot carry on with such pain in my heart.
Hi doctor I want to help people with bipolar disorder and trauma because I want to be a psychologist but I've heard these people usually don't feel like therapists are trained to deal with them properly how do I make sure that I am
This is an interesting channel. I’m diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder with a Adverse Childhood Experience 10 out of 10, with parents who were also personality disordered and I struggle with a lot of homicidal rage and depression which is holding me back from fully achieving my potential. And I have to say your videos on depression so far have been very insightful, do you offer personal consultation online?
@@gocarnivoretv1977 1. google North Star Psychological Center in Iowa 2. check the content of the last two month, as there might also be cheaper possibilities in the future
Underappreciated is sitting at home with your family ignoring you, even when you speak up to address your needs, getting no response and then getting mad at you because you can't keep up with meeting all of their needs when it's demanded of you and then wondering why you get upset or depressed because you apparently don't have anything to complain about..... You're just being selfish
Sadly I don't want to be appreciated or even recognized. I hate myself so much that I don't want birthday or holiday gifts, I am not deserving of anything or attention.
You, you didn't sugar-coat it... None of it... This sounds like something I wanted to hear, but, how? How do I tell my colleagues that I feel this way? I'm swamped with work until kingdom come, and I don't trust myself with conversations around me knowing I'll get engrossed and lose track of time. I literally don't have time or the timing to know my colleagues more... And now that I'm focussing more and more on my work and seemingly keeping in my own bubble, less people from other departments acknowledge me. And I feel terrible... I'm not superman and I'm not going to work extra to make up for lost time. I'm slow to understand, and I miss things in my work often. I don't know how certain people can take things easy and then focus 100% in a near instant. I don't want praise, I don't want pity, I don't want "understanding" - I just want basic acknowledgement, without any patronising words or body language. Maybe some of the other problems in my head will go away... Thank you Scott
I don't know, is anybody else here tired of the mountain of things we have to provide for ourselves that other -- normal -- people get to have without as much effort? After having to provide myself with Love, community, connection, validation, emotional resonance and emotional support, I'm kind of tired of adding things to that list. Normal humans get to have these things as part of their tribe and their social networks, why do we have to make everything we need at home?
I don’t care about appreciation. I do the job I’m paid to do, hopefully well. The only thing that would annoy me is if others try to undermine my work and effort. I’m fine with them not recognising it, but don’t mess with it. Never depend on the validation of others, they are as flawed as oneself. Never crave recognition from peers, appreciate it if it comes your way, but it’s not needed. Reflect on what gives you sense of purpose, enjoyment, peace etc. if it’s dependent on others, I’m afraid you’ll experience those things fleetingly.
You are so right ! NO one wants someone’s darkness . Best is to stay away from people isolate so you don’t vomit your pain on them !! No one wants it or cares or can handle it.
literally happened to me yesterday. It happens a lot that i call in sick so it's like the same old news but recently i've shown a big improvement in my absence free days and showing up more on time
try this---give proper notice re leaving a job and the information is not disseminated within the non-profit and basically no one was told the employee was leaving. final day comes and goes and only and handful of people say goodbye with regrets--flowers from one person and a gift from one person.....the other 20 or 30 people never blinked an eye (multiple locations so it was easy for them to do). The employee was well liked and well regarded---just didn't have caring co-workers. The field? Mental health. The employee? ME. I knew i would miss the job and the office, just not most of the employees who pretended to work habitually.
Hello, how do you achieve such biweekly returns? As a single parent i haven't been able to get my own house due to financial struggles, but my faith in God remains strong.
YES!!! That's exactly her name (Elizabeth Ann Larson) so many people have recommended highly about her and am just starting with her 😊 from Brisbane Australia🇦🇺
College class. Group project. Two out of four classmates never even showed up to put in their contribution to the group presentation. So on the day of the presentation, I stayed in my seat and let the two clueless slobs stand up and try to give the presentation with zero preparation or knowledge of what it was. Did they expect to get credit for this presentation while I actually, truly, not my imagination, DID 80% of the work? When the instructor asked me in front of the whole class why I wasn't up front to give the presentation, I said, "Division of labor." I got an A. This instructor knew what was going on.
That was a smart and mature response.
Yes! I’ve felt this way for the past decade. I don’t know why no matter how hard I try it’s never enough it’s always wrong or TMI. So I quit doing things for others & I don’t talk much either. The older I get the less I enjoy relationships; too much work too less reciprocity too much repeating shared discussions not cool😕
I take care of my adult disabled son for 33 years and counting, and often feel underappreciated and resentful because he doesn't know or acknowledge how much hard work I do for him. What you said makes sense how no one else can fathom what we do in a day. I call it behind the scenes work. A lot of it is thinking so of course he isn't going to have a clue.
Thanks for covering this Dr. Scott.
Ive learned to quit caring at work. Do the job. Collect the paycheck. Focus mentally more on things such as family and loved ones.
The older I get the more invisible and insignificant I feel from others 100%! I now understand why people over 60-65 are called the invisible age group! 😢
I like being invisible. I have f(amily who literally want me unalived. I ran away & changed everything to throw them off the scent)
Thank you for being my unpaid therapist in between my paid therapist sessions.
Sometimes just getting out of bed is the hardest job of 5he day and it seems no one sees that
Agreed 💯
Dr Scott I love you, not in romantic way by any means 😅 but in a "brotherly" way. You Can express things that I feel and live with such a precision. I feel that you know me more than I know myself. Keep up the good work you're awesome. 👐👐
This is really good common sense, I like the idea of slacking a bit, nobody will notice, it was prob the perfectionism causing me to do more than necessary
Helped a neighbor move, while I was recovering from emergency surgery. She's ghosted me. Guess she got what she wanted out of me. Glad to know who she really is and that I don't want her in my life.
Ouch
You must be a man! Women are notorious for using men for their advantage!
70% of people would do that to you without a 2nd thought
I am starting TMS therapy tomorrow! Wish me luck, send good vibes, or pray for me, please. I don't discriminate!
That’s great advice, thank you. It’s really hard to consider my own opinion on the hard work I do. Feels like nothing. But it’s the most important thing. This is something I already know but hearing from others over and over helps untangle the mess in my brain.
Your content is very helpful, as always 👍 👍 👍
Thank you for this video to Dr Scott! Impeccable timing! I felt this deeply!
Good video; thanks for sharing example from your personal life. I've found this chronic feeling can also be related to another very negative situation where - not only do you not get credit - but another person either sabotages you & takes the credit due you (when they had nothing to do with the good deeds), and worse, they deliberately lie about you, setting you up for disrespect and a domino effect that spreads to other people not believing or trusting you.
The tangled web gets so large for so long, that the situation becomes nearly impossible to share, or for someone else to have the time or motivation to listen.
The timing of that video is almost uncanny... is what I'd say, but now it seems it is my egocentrism speaking. I think you gave me food for thought.
So, no raise in ten years? I feel very ignored and unappreciated at work. But I can't leave until I want to retire because I believe no one will hire me at my age. My adukt kids think I am crazy for staying in this job. I do feel my self-esteem has been affected negatively. So, yes, I feel ignored and taken advantage of.
What you describe was exactly my situation too. For me, it was 6 years with no raise, but that was only because 6 years previous, they matched a job offer I received. For others in the company, it was 10 years. I told them we were being taken advantage of when I finally quit.
I haven’t decided if I am retired now, or if I will find a new job - I’m right on the edge of feeling comfortable with retirement. I know being older works against me, so I don’t blame you for not leaving.
But I definitely needed a break from that place.
Yeah I feel this way very very often.
Never once in my entire life have I made the threat of leaving because I've had enough and had that person do anything or care enough to want to make it right. They always choose, seemingly so easily to walk away like I never mattered the whole time. It leaves me feeling used, upset and pretty empty. It's so hard to be the one who puts their heart into everyone only to find out I never meant anything to them.
i left five jobs in my life always to go on to something new, different and enjoyable....it was always a plus. My last job had a lot of slackers and i was totally unappreciated and when i left i missed the work but not most of the people.
😢
I have been feeling this way, but the people in my life who are contributing to this feeling have issues of their own. So I can't tell someone who is dealing with physical or mental illness, that I need emotional support. But still, I have been in need of it, and so feel vexed when none of these people even ask how I am. It did occur to me just the other day, that I need to take a break, at least from hoping for a quid pro quo, and get some self-nurturing from doing some things I like, and not from people.
I feel like this in my work 100%.
Thank you, Dr Scott. You really make these inexplicable feelings make sense so that I can deal with them. Spooky timing uploading this video today and this is exactly the thing I’m over here trying to figure out! LOL! It is taking me more time than I’d like for picking myself back up, but it would seem this is the best way. No one can lift me up, I’ve got to do it. Am about 2/3 the way there, will keep working on it so I can get back to living my life.
So true..
Value yourself first..❤
Thank you 😊
Fascinating. And has definitely made me think.
Another spot on video, just like yesterday
Just in time Dr. Scott Eilers!❤ I felt this way for over a week:(
I even texted my psychiatrist about it today, crazy how universe works
You have the greatest job in the world. You only need to tell everyone who has a mental problems to pay you and pay your peers in the industry, to tell your patients to go help themselves.
To make things even sweeter, you get to crap on everyone who rejects the notion of others who are the culprit who contribute to one mental problems.
Why did I not get a degree in psychiatry and to get to shove the solution of “go and help yourself” up every patient’s bottom and get paid handsomely for it and sleep soundly every night,
Wow. This was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. I have to fill my black hole, so obvious but I never thought of it in that way.
I teach and tutor. I used to work 80-hour weeks to pay rent and my then-partner's tuition. I have been EXTREMELY vocal about my feelings underappreciated my entire adult life and have only ever received...crickets.
...I'm entirely screwed.
Thank you
Thank you Dr.Scott. Excellent as usual 😊
i'm asperger and i'm pretty sure it's not a belief but really how we are seen... like if others thought we were not fully conscious, or like if we were a young child... 0:33
Great advice
Yes, yes, YES!!
This is right on time. Do these stay up or are they a stream?
They will live on the channel afterward
Oh wow.... I know exactly what you are talking about, but I never thought about it this way. Thank you sooo much
Any people here who have had long standing existential suffering, high sensitivity, cptsd, and also is seriously interested in depth psychology, genuine no nonsense spirituality, trauma/somatic research? Are you also longing for a deeper, loving connection with others, networking in some shape or form? Perhaps it is time to start an online community with honest hearts?
I live in Sweden and it would be interesting to recieve ideas and comments. I was thinking from perhaps 40 years of age and no stop in the other end.
I'm done.
I don't have children or a husband so I can officially check out.
After the death of my Mama no one spoke of my Mama and yes she had mental health issues but for the most part she kept to herself the last 25 years of her life.
She didn't socialize.
She might would call her childrens phones from time to time and even that was too much for my siblings to deal with. I've had one 5 minute conversation about my Mama w my sister and that's it in the last year.
The house my Mama n I paid for was taken over by her ungrateful narcissistic son. I'm a lot like my Mama so after seeing how they have responded to her absence in life I can only come to the conclusion they feel the same towards me.
She was a burden apparently.
Therefore I guess so am I.
I cannot carry on with such pain in my heart.
Indeed
Hi doctor I want to help people with bipolar disorder and trauma because I want to be a psychologist but I've heard these people usually don't feel like therapists are trained to deal with them properly how do I make sure that I am
By helping yourself
This is an interesting channel. I’m diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder with a Adverse Childhood Experience 10 out of 10, with parents who were also personality disordered and I struggle with a lot of homicidal rage and depression which is holding me back from fully achieving my potential. And I have to say your videos on depression so far have been very insightful, do you offer personal consultation online?
There is the possibility to get coaching from Dr Eilers.
There are older videos where he explains how to access his homepage for further details.
@@bertholdroettgers213 is it expensive? How much is for an hour? I only live off 1000 bucks a month after rent since I don’t work
@@gocarnivoretv1977
1. google
North Star Psychological Center in Iowa
2. check the content of the last two month, as there might also be cheaper possibilities in the future
That told us 🎉😮😅 thx 😊
Underappreciated is sitting at home with your family ignoring you, even when you speak up to address your needs, getting no response and then getting mad at you because you can't keep up with meeting all of their needs when it's demanded of you and then wondering why you get upset or depressed because you apparently don't have anything to complain about..... You're just being selfish
Sadly I don't want to be appreciated or even recognized. I hate myself so much that I don't want birthday or holiday gifts, I am not deserving of anything or attention.
I wonder if this is an Ask vs Guess thing?
Amen
You, you didn't sugar-coat it... None of it... This sounds like something I wanted to hear, but, how? How do I tell my colleagues that I feel this way?
I'm swamped with work until kingdom come, and I don't trust myself with conversations around me knowing I'll get engrossed and lose track of time. I literally don't have time or the timing to know my colleagues more... And now that I'm focussing more and more on my work and seemingly keeping in my own bubble, less people from other departments acknowledge me. And I feel terrible...
I'm not superman and I'm not going to work extra to make up for lost time. I'm slow to understand, and I miss things in my work often. I don't know how certain people can take things easy and then focus 100% in a near instant. I don't want praise, I don't want pity, I don't want "understanding" - I just want basic acknowledgement, without any patronising words or body language.
Maybe some of the other problems in my head will go away...
Thank you Scott
I don't know, is anybody else here tired of the mountain of things we have to provide for ourselves that other -- normal -- people get to have without as much effort?
After having to provide myself with Love, community, connection, validation, emotional resonance and emotional support, I'm kind of tired of adding things to that list.
Normal humans get to have these things as part of their tribe and their social networks, why do we have to make everything we need at home?
I don’t care about appreciation. I do the job I’m paid to do, hopefully well.
The only thing that would annoy me is if others try to undermine my work and effort. I’m fine with them not recognising it, but don’t mess with it.
Never depend on the validation of others, they are as flawed as oneself.
Never crave recognition from peers, appreciate it if it comes your way, but it’s not needed.
Reflect on what gives you sense of purpose, enjoyment, peace etc. if it’s dependent on others, I’m afraid you’ll experience those things fleetingly.
You are so right ! NO one wants someone’s darkness . Best is to stay away from people isolate so you don’t vomit your pain on them !!
No one wants it or cares or can handle it.
Bummer the time difference makes these almost impossible to watch or see….
You can watch on demand at any time.
The videos will stay on the channel
First time on UA-cam sweetie?
Calling in sick and getting no response is just one way of feeling under appreciated.
literally happened to me yesterday. It happens a lot that i call in sick so it's like the same old news but recently i've shown a big improvement in my absence free days and showing up more on time
try this---give proper notice re leaving a job and the information is not disseminated within the non-profit and basically no one was told the employee was leaving. final day comes and goes and only and handful of people say goodbye with regrets--flowers from one person and a gift from one person.....the other 20 or 30 people never blinked an eye (multiple locations so it was easy for them to do). The employee was well liked and well regarded---just didn't have caring co-workers. The field? Mental health. The employee? ME. I knew i would miss the job and the office, just not most of the employees who pretended to work habitually.
I feel like a ghost alien 😅
This is exactly how young men who turn to being incels feel.
*Amazing video, thanks for the steady stream. I’m favored,$450k Returns the Lord is my saviour in times of my need!!!*
Hello, how do you achieve such biweekly returns? As a single parent i haven't been able to get my own house due to financial struggles, but my faith in God remains strong.
Excuse me for real?,how is that
possible I have struggling
financially, how was that possible?
Thanks to my co-worker whom God used to give a great opportunity of crossing paths with 'Mrs ELIZABETH ANN LARSON'.
YES!!! That's exactly her name (Elizabeth Ann Larson) so many people have recommended highly about her and am just starting with her 😊 from Brisbane Australia🇦🇺
I have heard a lot of wonderful things about Elizabeth Ann on the news but didn't believe it until now. I'm definitely trying her out
Men with women. Too much work and too little reward
😢😢😢😢 victim