I have found that at "retirement", I have had to reevaluate my friends. I lost my job at 60. Now, I realize, money will be more tight in retirement. I'm fine with doing free things like walking, hiking, share a cup of coffee or book club, but I can't afford to eat out, go to plays/concerts or travel. I have found it hard to keep friends who won't spend time doing the "cheaper" stuff with me. I save so I can join them for the group birthday lunches out, but find it boring to listen to them drone on about the wardrobe they bought for their latest vacation. These were people I was friends with for years but now finances have psychologically separated me. Does that make sense to anyone?
There is still a lot that is available to you, beautiful drives in the country, having a picnic then, or camping, you meet great people camping! That's the benefit, you don't meet people at hotels! Learning to cook, and you know what goes into your food! Making a house home, candles, music, a better athmosphere than restaurants! I'm a 'cheeper' myself. Meet nice people at thrift stores. Never met anyone at Macy's. Good luck! Maybe get a dog or a cat if you don't have one.
The simple pleasures are those worth living for. I have more than I will ever spend. But I lost my wife to m.s. right before we were to both retire together to RV across the country. I can tell you the motorhome, the cars, the gear, the stuff, has zero meaning now. I focus on the simple pleasures by choice. And if friends boast of material things that they have, knowing full well that a fellow friend has experienced a financial setback in their life, then those are not friends. Those are competitors. New company is needed.
dogs! they don't care whether ur rich or poor, fat or thin, beautiful or plain, they just want ur love and attention which they return endlessly. a dog will never betray u and will take u on all kinds of adventures that will introduce u to like-minded people 🐕 🐾 ❤
When we go through difficult times in life and have to make changes, that's when we find out who are real friends are. Maybe you have become more enlightened and will meet new friends that share your beliefs and interests
If someone shows you they don't care about you -- believe them and move on. I would add especially if they are your family. Family members can do more damage than anyone outside your family.
I learned this the hard way and I still struggle to let go of the anger and just accept and pray for them. And, stay away from them to not have more bad memories.
It's never too late. Everyday is precious. It's a gift. 🌞 Healing From A Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Could Attachment Styles Be Biological? - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 From Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk. Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ♥️
When I was 50 my dad died with a lot of money in the bank but never having lived because mom wouldn’t. I instantly learned that I was gonna die too so I started living life. One kid at a time I took all four of them on really cool trips around America. I am 10 trips in. I detoxified my life by being less political and I fought like crazy to be positive around my kids and wife. People noticed the difference in me. 😀 About three years ago I started going to concerts even though my wife wouldn’t join me. That’s OK. I still have a great time. I’ve been to three concerts in the last three weeks. I feel blessed.
Wow I’m 58 and I’m thinking about going to a concert next summer without my husband. It’s true what she just said about Mya Angelo when some one shows you how they feel about you believe them.
This is why I believe many conversations about difficult issues are a waste of time. Such conversations often center around one partner/spouse trying to change the behavior of the other partner/spouse. It's more productive and realistic to accept that a partner's/spouse's behavior doesn't work for you and part ways.
Ideally you’d know yourself better and either choose somone else from the getgo, or resolve to accept someone else less conditionally. We all have idiosyncratic tendencies and we’d never survive as a species if everyone was a “lone wolf” all their life. When you’re unable to get around anymore most people remember/ reminisce about connections and travel. There’s nothing like forming a bond with someone in a foreign land together. It forces you to work together and triumph over adversity which builds trust and respect when someone else makes you a priority and makes sacrifices for you.
Hi - love your insight! I'm 65... and have learned much of what you speak of. Another Maya Angelou quote that changed MY life is, "If I'd a known better, I'd a done better". We're all doing the best we can with what we have and know at the time ...helped me let go of guilt and forgive myself. Thanks for all you do! :)
I agree with you on every point. One thing that I would add is, ”Avoid destination addiction!” I used to do this but now that I’m older I have found that it’s useless. Don’t tell yourself that: -when I have this -I’d be happy if -I’d be happier when -if, then, after…. Live for today. Time is precious and every day is valuable. Don’t tell yourself that things will change, come, happen later when you are at that “destination.” There may never be a later! Bloom where you are planted. The journey is the destination!!! 😊 Love your videos and relating to someone who is like-minded. Thank you.
I really enjoy your video's mainly because they are down to earth & honest that many of us can relate to - especially those of us in our 60's, 70's & beyond! Thank you for sharing your thoughts & life experiences with us! Keep up the good work! 😊
Fellow Western New Yorker, Therapist, and soon turning 64 years old. Joseph Campbell offered great advice for living a good life. Follow your bliss. You sound as though you have reached a point in your life where you are content and satisfied. I enjoy watching your videos. Keep up the good work
All I can say is that as a 65 y.o. man (in 5 days time), ..... I love your philosophy. It resonates very much with my approach to life. Thank you Holly. Regards, Sean.
It's been a lifelong habit of mine that when I think that I'm having selfish thoughts I scold myself. But dammit, now that I'm 67, I've realize that I deserve to do whatever I want, as long as I'm not hurting anyone.
And sometimes, even if you ARE hurting them. One of the easiest ways to control a sensitive person is to say, “When you don’t do what I want, it really hurts me.” A very common way to CONTROL nice people. Learn to say no to anyone who wants you to always put their feelings above yours.
You are so right about every thing you spoke of in this video. I think I learned these lessons myself while I was still relatively young. I have a reputation amongst family members and acquaintances of being a "loner" and some of them think I'm anti-social. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am always interested in other people. I have to walk a fine line between coming off as nosey and being interested in who another person is and what they are like beyond the superficial being that they are. As a young boy - around age 13 or maybe 14 I had a genuine epiphany. After yet another moment of terror in my home (my father was a violently temperamental man) I did what I usually would do...After the shouting was over and while the tension was thick and hanging in the air I went out the front door of the house and began to walk - to nowhere in particular. Angry, frustrated, traumatized I swung a clinched fist into a stop sign down on the corner near my house. Really messed up my hand but that's not really relevant to this story. After damaging my hand I continued walking - cool late fall day little or no traffic, hazy day...I heard a voice - someone was speaking to me. I did NOT hear the voice in my ears ...it was a voice nonetheless and I could not identify it as either a male voice or a female voice. The voice said in a knowing and understanding way and not really with pity or even sympathy but I would say it was comforting - just a calming clear voice and it said to me: "Danny, not everything that happens is your fault - sometimes things that happen are out of your control" I did not stop walking when the voice spoke but continued my walk wondering if I really heard what I heard - questioning if it was my imagination. The voice had been clear and pure and I came to the conclusion that it was real. To this day (at age 73) I know that an angel of God spoke to me in that moment. This experience shaped the way I looked at things - especially things other people said and did as I navigated my way through life. It gave me the Knowledge that there are reasons and sometimes "causes" for things said and done that are not within my realm of control - they also are not within the realm of my knowing. There are "reasons" that are unavailable to me - and to you. It was through this message that I came to know that I have no power to make anyone else think or do or say or believe anything - anything at all. While I have the ability to share my thoughts, beliefs, ideas I have no power to make anyone else accept them or to believe them. I came to learn that I cannot change anyone - nor can I save anyone from himself. While I can share or offer an opinion or a perspective on something what that other person does with it is entirely out of my hands - it is entirely up to them to do with it what they will. My wife died 4 years ago (we were together for about 20 years) and although I feel lonely also am very ok being alone. Facebook and You tube are a big help for me. Those media sites give me the opprtunity to remain well informed about life in general and more importantly they give me the chance to express my own thoughts and feelings and insights. My brain is quite active thanks to those two social media sites. I still feel engaged with life - humanity because of them. Thank you for your videos - I do appreciate the topics you address in your videos and I find myself looking forward to your next posts. Regards, DS
Great advice and insights! You are so beautiful and inspiring. My motto has been lately - live your life today and enjoy every moment. Working with the geriatric population reminds me of this every day. I ask my patients often if they look back and have thoughts about what they could have done differently in their lives. The answer is almost always the same - I wish I could enjoy life more than I did, spend more time with those I loved, traveled, worried less.. etc. No matter who you are or what you have, it all will end one day. Therefore, live your life today the best you can! Thank you for your channel!
Very nice list. For me - I always need a project, big or small but something to work towards. I think it is the "Harry Home Owners - Home Depot Guy" inside of me. At 64 we moved from New England and bought a 40 acre home and farm. Two years ago I lost my wife after a very long illness which left a gigantic hole in my life. I still run an overseas business, but I also started planting a black walnut orchard with a goal of establishing 3,000 trees for my kids benefit. I am 800 trees into my project which I do not ever expect to see the end results, but my kids will have a grand pay day when they are my age, and they can harvest the timber.
Here’s an idea for a future video. “Things I learned in life that contribute to a more positive relationship.” Here’s my two cents. (1) Look for reasons to be grateful for your partner, not reasons to be ungrateful. (2) Show grace. We all have our shortcomings. (3) Relationships aren’t a 50-50 proposition. Each person should give 100%. Of course all of these are much easier to do if your partner is also invested in the relationship.
I am your age, separated one year, lonely, and wishing I would have learned a lot of these things you mentioned sooner. Trying to figure out how to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Ordered the book. I am always looking for a magic bullet even though I know there isn’t one.
Have you thought about doing volunteer work? Places like hospitals, thrift stores etc would love to have you! Sometimes reaching out & helping others gives us a sense of purpose & takes the focus off of ourselves. Just a thought.
Yes! To all this advice except for the belief in god and an afterlife. A Believer for most of my life, I am now agnostic atheist and happier and stronger and healthier than ever. But that is another thing I have learned: to each their own: what works for one and makes them happy may not work for another. The answers are within each of us and our oath is ours alone, unique to us ❤
Give thanks for your warm bed. Give thanks for the good food you made. Give thanks for the warn shower that you took. Give thanks because your car is running well and give thanks for the many, many small things in your life. Next, if you see a homeless person, give that person all the money in your pocket because that person has none of the above to be thankful for. Give it some time, but you will begin to feel different in a very good way. SphereMotor, the future of electricity
Knowing what you DO NOT want in life is a HUGE BENEFIT! What are your deal breakers? Mine are...I don't do narcissists, I don't spend time with those who only talk about themselves or are self-serving. I don't spend time with people who are shallow, ignorant, and don't care to continue to learn and become aware. I don't spend time around gossipers, people who are selfish, people who don't show kindness or have a belief in God/Source. People who are angry and lack self-control, I avoid at all costs. Once you get the basic deal breakers out of the way it's a whole lot easier to know what kind of people you like being around. It's not hard.
Great advice. I share you views. Unfortunately, I still struggle with letting go of my failed marriage. Anyhow, I do like you! Very level-headed person offering wisdom. Thanks.
I'm lucky because there's nothing drastic in my life that I would change. Sometime I'll get something in my head that will require change. After thinking about it for a few days, I finally realized I'm happy with the status quo.
I've really enjoyed the simple way you explain things and the ease of how you go about it. I'm around the same age, live in WNY, and just started my YT channel after years of contemplating it; only because life had other plans for me first. I guess it just gave me more to share for when I was ready, ( Still not quite sure of a theme yet). I think one of the biggest life lesson, for me was that I feared getting to this age most of my life. I really believed I would no longer be me and that I would be either dead or old and frumpy, (as told to me when I was 10 years old). Lucky for me, I started doing a lot of what you talk about, regarding self help and have become more educated with several of the different techniques and modalities I've learned over the decades certainly was healed by. I started it all in my 30's and continue to learn to this day. Still, I can't say, I'm thrilled being the age I am and maybe that's my ego struggling to survive, who knows. I am grateful for all the experiences and knowledge I've obtained along the way. Wishing you continued success with your channel and life. 💯💫🙏🏻
♥I've noticed all the colors in this video foliage such as the lamp, the coffee cup is that a book next to the coffee cup and the chair too all the same color. The two paintings on the wall and the white walls and shade. Wonderful gray sweater you are wearing as well. Such a calm peaceful setting you are in. Godspeed. 🍂🛋🖼🙏
At 64 myself I resonate with everything you’ve said, the simple things are what makes me the happiest, I’ve always thought that boring is better, it gives you time to think!
I wish I had gotten off the agnostic fence sooner, and bothered to find out that Buddhism and I are a natural fit. Until that time I had thought love/loving-kindness was naively aspirational.
Thank you for sharing this Holly, I think you’re fabulous 🥰 I’m 63 and I have stopped my people pleasing and started practicing self-care and it feels so great! I will quote Anthony Hopkins “ what other people think of me - is none of my business “ I agree with you on all your points Holly 🤗
Great video, and I really like the subject matter. Especially the first point about how you can't "change" people - they have to decide for themselves and that's it. One thing I will say is, now that I'm older and two whole years into retirement, I don't "sweat" it too much if people disagree with me on anything from social issues to politics to sports or anything. I am becoming more and more comfortable with just smiling and saying nothing or simply avoiding situations where certain discussions may arise that could lead to discomfort - and with the holidays coming up, that will be put to the test starting next week. LOL. Life is getting pretty short for me if I look at it from a percentage standpoint, and I'd rather not get angry. LOL. Thanks for the video.
Totally agree on your topics and I think you covered all the main ones. I did not learn a lot of these until I was 45 years old or so. I finally learned how to move on, quit pleasing people, making myself happy, not thinking and trying to get everyone to like and appreciate me, just supporting other in grief sorrow, quit trying to change people. Some of this I found through work experience or reading , but I finally realized these things as part or real life. In my case it took too long and and my kids could have benefitted sooner rather that later. I was pretty naive as a young adult and it took me awhile. Some never learn and never become truly happy. I am glad I did.
Hello, new sub from Melbourne in Australia. I have now watched a few of your videos and this one really resonated with me. I have had an "interesting" past and after living overseas for many years (USA/Asia) came home. It has taken the best part of 2 years for my anxiety to release and I now find myself thinking I should be doing more - travelling etc. I realise that I am simply comparing myself the others "exciting" lives and am actually very content in my own hermit life. X
Outstanding as always. Love your down to earth nature and videos are a perfect length. Excited about your membership service, as these videos have really helped me. I'm a 60 year old gay man, and isn't it interesting that your topics/advice apply to everyone! I especially loved your video on internet/app dating. I felt like these dating experiences were also mine. Thank you.
New to your channel you look amazing So true life lessons as mature woman what I've learnt is how important self-love is and boundaries My quote is I was quiet but i wasn't blind
I learned years ago not to get into a project. A friend of mine, another pilot, wanted to buy 2 project aircraft. He would fix one, and i would fix the other. His hangar that we were to work in, 1.5 hours away to drive there. One way. Not happening. All the time i spent going back and forth, i could spend in a rental aircraft. This upset my friend. I'm not sure it ended our friendship, but it tanked shortly thereafter....
I have a question: you say it consoles you that you’ll meet your father again in afterlife; will he be sick? Suddenly healthy again, young, old? Will he be just an energy you feel?
Sometimes the child says "no, I don't want the cookie". When they crave the cookie more than anything else. My Mom (r.i.p) worked with children. She would know.
It doesn't take long to figure out who these people are. Unfortunately our society has broken down, families have broken, children have suffered because of so much divorce. Can't make people up, we have to deal with what's out there, or be alone, and that doesn't seem to be the answer either. Just seek wisdom. State to people, 'if you do this, I will have to separate', not DUMP PEOPLE LIKE GARBAGE. You're not perfect either.
I'm going to disagree and call you out on the neg/pos energy nonsense. You've bought into this pablum. Energy by def is the ability to do work. What you might consider is encouraging your viewers to emit authentic and compassionate energy, then it's two way, a source and a sink. Then you're honestly and authenticity connecting with others. Being a phony always positive Polyana helps no one. Keep sharing your journey and perhaps share a bit more of your transition from being really depressed to now not so much and the contribution of loving individuals who helped you along the path? ❤
@lmccauley7319 I totally agree with you, I don't get that vibe either. Promoting to always be 'positive energy Polyana' when it's clearly not is phony and misses the opportunity to connect with another person who is honestly on the down. Be upfront, candid authentic and love will follow. 😊
About comparing your life to other people 's curated life on social media. There is a book by Mark Manson, the subtle art of not giving a f***. That is an excellent book about getting your priorities straight and not comparing yourself to others.
I have found that at "retirement", I have had to reevaluate my friends. I lost my job at 60. Now, I realize, money will be more tight in retirement. I'm fine with doing free things like walking, hiking, share a cup of coffee or book club, but I can't afford to eat out, go to plays/concerts or travel. I have found it hard to keep friends who won't spend time doing the "cheaper" stuff with me. I save so I can join them for the group birthday lunches out, but find it boring to listen to them drone on about the wardrobe they bought for their latest vacation. These were people I was friends with for years but now finances have psychologically separated me. Does that make sense to anyone?
There is still a lot that is available to you, beautiful drives in the country, having a picnic then, or camping, you meet great people camping! That's the benefit, you don't meet people at hotels! Learning to cook, and you know what goes into your food! Making a house home, candles, music, a better athmosphere than restaurants! I'm a 'cheeper' myself. Meet nice people at thrift stores. Never met anyone at Macy's. Good luck! Maybe get a dog or a cat if you don't have one.
The simple pleasures are those worth living for. I have more than I will ever spend. But I lost my wife to m.s. right before we were to both retire together to RV across the country. I can tell you the motorhome, the cars, the gear, the stuff, has zero meaning now. I focus on the simple pleasures by choice. And if friends boast of material things that they have, knowing full well that a fellow friend has experienced a financial setback in their life, then those are not friends. Those are competitors. New company is needed.
dogs! they don't care whether ur rich or poor, fat or thin, beautiful or plain, they just want ur love and attention which they return endlessly. a dog will never betray u and will take u on all kinds of adventures that will introduce u to like-minded people 🐕 🐾 ❤
Doing hobbies in groups is far more fun and interesting.
When we go through difficult times in life and have to make changes, that's when we find out who are real friends are. Maybe you have become more enlightened and will meet new friends that share your beliefs and interests
If someone shows you they don't care about you -- believe them and move on.
I would add especially if they are your family. Family members can do more damage than anyone outside your family.
true.
I learned this the hard way and I still struggle to let go of the anger and just accept and pray for them. And, stay away from them to not have more bad memories.
Very true. Experiencing this right now.
So true and I wish I'd learned this sooner.
It's never too late. Everyday is precious. It's a gift. 🌞
Healing From A Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Could Attachment Styles Be Biological? - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
From Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk.
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ♥️
When I was 50 my dad died with a lot of money in the bank but never having lived because mom wouldn’t. I instantly learned that I was gonna die too so I started living life. One kid at a time I took all four of them on really cool trips around America. I am 10 trips in. I detoxified my life by being less political and I fought like crazy to be positive around my kids and wife. People noticed the difference in me. 😀 About three years ago I started going to concerts even though my wife wouldn’t join me. That’s OK. I still have a great time. I’ve been to three concerts in the last three weeks. I feel blessed.
The lady makes a lot of excellent points ! And I've always thought that people who are grateful are also people who are happy.
Wow I’m 58 and I’m thinking about going to a concert next summer without my husband. It’s true what she just said about Mya Angelo when some one shows you how they feel about you believe them.
"Ultimately, we're all really here alone".....well said
You look so cozy with that nice warm mug. I feel like I was watching a therapist give the 10 point summary of life in a good way. Thanks
This is why I believe many conversations about difficult issues are a waste of time. Such conversations often center around one partner/spouse trying to change the behavior of the other partner/spouse. It's more productive and realistic to accept that a partner's/spouse's behavior doesn't work for you and part ways.
Ideally you’d know yourself better and either choose somone else from the getgo, or resolve to accept someone else less conditionally. We all have idiosyncratic tendencies and we’d never survive as a species if everyone was a “lone wolf” all their life. When you’re unable to get around anymore most people remember/ reminisce about connections and travel. There’s nothing like forming a bond with someone in a foreign land together. It forces you to work together and triumph over adversity which builds trust and respect when someone else makes you a priority and makes sacrifices for you.
Hi - love your insight! I'm 65... and have learned much of what you speak of. Another Maya Angelou quote that changed MY life is, "If I'd a known better, I'd a done better". We're all doing the best we can with what we have and know at the time ...helped me let go of guilt and forgive myself. Thanks for all you do! :)
I agree with you on every point. One thing that I would add is, ”Avoid destination addiction!” I used to do this but now that I’m older I have found that it’s useless.
Don’t tell yourself that:
-when I have this
-I’d be happy if
-I’d be happier when
-if, then, after….
Live for today. Time is precious and every day is valuable. Don’t tell yourself that things will change, come, happen later when you are at that “destination.”
There may never be a later! Bloom where you are planted. The journey is the destination!!! 😊
Love your videos and relating to someone who is like-minded. Thank you.
Too true!!
Everyday is precious. It's a gift. We are lucky to be the age we are. Do things that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. 🌞
im still trying to stop doing that
WOW! Well done, young lady. This can change lives for the better!
I really enjoy your video's mainly because they are down to earth & honest that many of us can relate to - especially those of us in our 60's, 70's & beyond! Thank you for sharing your thoughts & life experiences with us! Keep up the good work! 😊
Thanks for sharing.
Like you..took me 64 years to realize that.
Fellow Western New Yorker, Therapist, and soon turning 64 years old.
Joseph Campbell offered great advice for living a good life. Follow your bliss.
You sound as though you have reached a point in your life where you are content and satisfied. I enjoy watching your videos. Keep up the good work
My lesson is about projects.
#1- Don’t partner up with a project.
#2- Don’t be a project.
#3- Don’t surround yourself with projects.
👍
@@truthboomertruthbomber5125
😆 On the other hand, maybe we should be a bit of a DIY project always, so we don’t turn into a complete tear down.
Lol all this from a lady that took 40 years to figure it out.
Indeed.
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
@raerae2885 😂
All I can say is that as a 65 y.o. man (in 5 days time), ..... I love your philosophy. It resonates very much with my approach to life. Thank you Holly. Regards, Sean.
I will be 65 in December! Thank you so much!
You appear to be a very good person. ❤ I wish you many blessings. Thank you for sharing your story.
10 min chats...perfect in today's mental conditioning....thank you....friends/family love it.
It's been a lifelong habit of mine that when I think that I'm having selfish thoughts I scold myself. But dammit, now that I'm 67, I've realize that I deserve to do whatever I want, as long as I'm not hurting anyone.
And sometimes, even if you ARE hurting them. One of the easiest ways to control a sensitive person is to say, “When you don’t do what I want, it really hurts me.” A very common way to CONTROL nice people. Learn to say no to anyone who wants you to always put their feelings above yours.
I love how you've made your channel an inviting place for people to share their experiences and connect with others! I think it's a real service!
It’s never easy to practice what we preach is it !
You are very right, Wes, How are you doing today?
You are so right about every thing you spoke of in this video. I think I learned these lessons myself while I was still relatively young. I have a reputation amongst family members and acquaintances of being a "loner" and some of them think I'm anti-social. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am always interested in other people. I have to walk a fine line between coming off as nosey and being interested in who another person is and what they are like beyond the superficial being that they are.
As a young boy - around age 13 or maybe 14 I had a genuine epiphany. After yet another moment of terror in my home (my father was a violently temperamental man) I did what I usually would do...After the shouting was over and while the tension was thick and hanging in the air I went out the front door of the house and began to walk - to nowhere in particular.
Angry, frustrated, traumatized I swung a clinched fist into a stop sign down on the corner near my house. Really messed up my hand but that's not really relevant to this story. After damaging my hand I continued walking - cool late fall day little or no traffic, hazy day...I heard a voice - someone was speaking to me.
I did NOT hear the voice in my ears ...it was a voice nonetheless and I could not identify it as either a male voice or a female voice. The voice said in a knowing and understanding way and not really with pity or even sympathy but I would say it was comforting - just a calming clear voice and it said to me: "Danny, not everything that happens is your fault - sometimes things that happen are out of your control"
I did not stop walking when the voice spoke but continued my walk wondering if I really heard what I heard - questioning if it was my imagination. The voice had been clear and pure and I came to the conclusion that it was real. To this day (at age 73) I know that an angel of God spoke to me in that moment.
This experience shaped the way I looked at things - especially things other people said and did as I navigated my way through life. It gave me the Knowledge that there are reasons and sometimes "causes" for things said and done that are not within my realm of control - they also are not within the realm of my knowing. There are "reasons" that are unavailable to me - and to you.
It was through this message that I came to know that I have no power to make anyone else think or do or say or believe anything - anything at all. While I have the ability to share my thoughts, beliefs, ideas I have no power to make anyone else accept them or to believe them. I came to learn that I cannot change anyone - nor can I save anyone from himself. While I can share or offer an opinion or a perspective on something what that other person does with it is entirely out of my hands - it is entirely up to them to do with it what they will.
My wife died 4 years ago (we were together for about 20 years) and although I feel lonely also am very ok being alone.
Facebook and You tube are a big help for me. Those media sites give me the opprtunity to remain well informed about life in general and more importantly they give me the chance to express my own thoughts and feelings and insights. My brain is quite active thanks to those two social media sites. I still feel engaged with life - humanity because of them.
Thank you for your videos - I do appreciate the topics you address in your videos and I find myself looking forward to your next posts.
Regards, DS
Great advice and insights! You are so beautiful and inspiring. My motto has been lately - live your life today and enjoy every moment. Working with the geriatric population reminds me of this every day. I ask my patients often if they look back and have thoughts about what they could have done differently in their lives. The answer is almost always the same - I wish I could enjoy life more than I did, spend more time with those I loved, traveled, worried less.. etc. No matter who you are or what you have, it all will end one day. Therefore, live your life today the best you can! Thank you for your channel!
Bingo!.. I came to the same conclusion many years ago... Happiness is a by-product of appreciation. Could go on further, but that's the key.
You're very wise! You've summed it all up very well. Two bits I could add are: "Less is More" and "One thing at a time"
My brother that had Parkinsons used to say, just put one foot in front of the other if that's all you can do
@@BecomingMe64 Great Advice for anyone :)
Very nice list. For me - I always need a project, big or small but something to work towards. I think it is the "Harry Home Owners - Home Depot Guy" inside of me. At 64 we moved from New England and bought a 40 acre home and farm. Two years ago I lost my wife after a very long illness which left a gigantic hole in my life. I still run an overseas business, but I also started planting a black walnut orchard with a goal of establishing 3,000 trees for my kids benefit. I am 800 trees into my project which I do not ever expect to see the end results, but my kids will have a grand pay day when they are my age, and they can harvest the timber.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree, we are never too old to have goals and something to work toward
Here’s an idea for a future video. “Things I learned in life that contribute to a more positive relationship.” Here’s my two cents. (1) Look for reasons to be grateful for your partner, not reasons to be ungrateful. (2) Show grace. We all have our shortcomings. (3) Relationships aren’t a 50-50 proposition. Each person should give 100%. Of course all of these are much easier to do if your partner is also invested in the relationship.
I really enjoy your channel!! Thank you for your thoughtful content 😊
I am your age, separated one year, lonely, and wishing I would have learned a lot of these things you mentioned sooner. Trying to figure out how to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Ordered the book. I am always looking for a magic bullet even though I know there isn’t one.
Have you thought about doing volunteer work? Places like hospitals, thrift stores etc would love to have you! Sometimes reaching out & helping others gives us a sense of purpose & takes the focus off of ourselves. Just a thought.
@ yes a hospice volunteer until Covid
So glad you bought the book. Please take your time reading it and implement some of the techniques suggested
The idea of a gratitude list is good. It's a kind of cognitive therapy.
Yes! To all this advice except for the belief in god and an afterlife.
A Believer for most of my life, I am now agnostic atheist and happier and stronger and healthier than ever.
But that is another thing I have learned: to each their own: what works for one and makes them happy may not work for another. The answers are within each of us and our oath is ours alone, unique to us ❤
Give thanks for your warm bed. Give thanks for the good food you made. Give thanks for the warn shower that you took. Give thanks because your car is running well and give thanks for the many, many small things in your life. Next, if you see a homeless person, give that person all the money in your pocket because that person has none of the above to be thankful for. Give it some time, but you will begin to feel different in a very good way. SphereMotor, the future of electricity
This is sage and timely wisdom.
Thank you so much for this video!! It was very good 😊
Knowing what you DO NOT want in life is a HUGE BENEFIT! What are your deal breakers? Mine are...I don't do narcissists, I don't spend time with those who only talk about themselves or are self-serving. I don't spend time with people who are shallow, ignorant, and don't care to continue to learn and become aware. I don't spend time around gossipers, people who are selfish, people who don't show kindness or have a belief in God/Source. People who are angry and lack self-control, I avoid at all costs. Once you get the basic deal breakers out of the way it's a whole lot easier to know what kind of people you like being around. It's not hard.
I am so glad I found your channel! I am a late bloomer also and I appreciate your wisdom, rawness and keep things real! Love to you!
Great advice. I share you views. Unfortunately, I still struggle with letting go of my failed marriage.
Anyhow, I do like you! Very level-headed person offering wisdom.
Thanks.
Great video
We learn so much with age ❤
Wonderful video!! I am almost 60 and I agree with everything you said.
Thank you for reminding us.
You're a wise lady - I agree with most of it - 8/10 !
I'm lucky because there's nothing drastic in my life that I would change. Sometime I'll get something in my head that will require change. After thinking about it for a few days, I finally realized I'm happy with the status quo.
I've really enjoyed the simple way you explain things and the ease of how you go about it. I'm around the same age, live in WNY, and just started my YT channel after years of contemplating it; only because life had other plans for me first. I guess it just gave me more to share for when I was ready, ( Still not quite sure of a theme yet).
I think one of the biggest life lesson, for me was that I feared getting to this age most of my life. I really believed I would no longer be me and that I would be either dead or old and frumpy, (as told to me when I was 10 years old). Lucky for me, I started doing a lot of what you talk about, regarding self help and have become more educated with several of the different techniques and modalities I've learned over the decades certainly was healed by. I started it all in my 30's and continue to learn to this day.
Still, I can't say, I'm thrilled being the age I am and maybe that's my ego struggling to survive, who knows. I am grateful for all the experiences and knowledge I've obtained along the way.
Wishing you continued success with your channel and life. 💯💫🙏🏻
♥I've noticed all the colors in this video foliage such as the lamp, the coffee cup is that a book next to the coffee cup and the chair too all the same color. The two paintings on the wall and the white walls and shade. Wonderful gray sweater you are wearing as well. Such a calm peaceful setting you are in. Godspeed. 🍂🛋🖼🙏
Excellent advice. Thanks...
❤️. I’m 52 & recently divorced & stumbled on your videos
Love watching your videos! You’re like an elder sister I wish I had 🥹
At 64 myself I resonate with everything you’ve said, the simple things are what makes me the happiest, I’ve always thought that boring is better, it gives you time to think!
Your message is informative and inspirational. Thank you!
Great points and reminders ❤thank you 😊
Its really true. So much we really need to go thru things ourselves.
Great advice. I need to revisit from time to time. Thank you so much!!(from Japan)
This is a great video. Thank you.
I wish I had gotten off the agnostic fence sooner, and bothered to find out that Buddhism and I are a natural fit. Until that time I had thought love/loving-kindness was naively aspirational.
Be Thankful what you have
Thank you for sharing this Holly, I think you’re fabulous 🥰
I’m 63 and I have stopped my people pleasing and started practicing self-care and it feels so great! I will quote Anthony Hopkins “ what other people think of me - is none of my business “
I agree with you on all your points Holly 🤗
I love your screen name. Lots of chocolate.
Thank you Holly ,❤
Great video, and I really like the subject matter. Especially the first point about how you can't "change" people - they have to decide for themselves and that's it. One thing I will say is, now that I'm older and two whole years into retirement, I don't "sweat" it too much if people disagree with me on anything from social issues to politics to sports or anything. I am becoming more and more comfortable with just smiling and saying nothing or simply avoiding situations where certain discussions may arise that could lead to discomfort - and with the holidays coming up, that will be put to the test starting next week. LOL. Life is getting pretty short for me if I look at it from a percentage standpoint, and I'd rather not get angry. LOL. Thanks for the video.
You’re very cool (you can tell yours kids I said so) and I’m really getting a lot out of your channel. Don’t stop!
Thank you! Don't worry, I'm just getting started!
Totally agree on your topics and I think you covered all the main ones. I did not learn a lot of these until I was 45 years old or so. I finally learned how to move on, quit pleasing people, making myself happy, not thinking and trying to get everyone to like and appreciate me, just supporting other in grief sorrow, quit trying to change people. Some of this I found through work experience or reading , but I finally realized these things as part or real life. In my case it took too long and and my kids could have benefitted sooner rather that later. I was pretty naive as a young adult and it took me awhile. Some never learn and never become truly happy. I am glad I did.
Thanks…good advise. You are wise, caring and beautiful!
Sing it Sista!! Amen & Amen! Thank you for these Terrific reminders. 😊
Hello, new sub from Melbourne in Australia. I have now watched a few of your videos and this one really resonated with me. I have had an "interesting" past and after living overseas for many years (USA/Asia) came home. It has taken the best part of 2 years for my anxiety to release and I now find myself thinking I should be doing more - travelling etc. I realise that I am simply comparing myself the others "exciting" lives and am actually very content in my own hermit life. X
Hope you have fun in New York! Safe travels.
Some good lessons you have learned.. stick with it.
Would have loved to have met someone like you in my life
Oh my gosh. All of these things are so true. I have also realized these things as I've gotten older. Life is too short to dwell on these things.
Worrying is negative on your Health.
Thank you
I really need this!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom! You are a beautiful person both inside and out. I look forward to more of your posts ❤😊.
Outstanding as always. Love your down to earth nature and videos are a perfect length. Excited about your membership service, as these videos have really helped me. I'm a 60 year old gay man, and isn't it interesting that your topics/advice apply to everyone! I especially loved your video on internet/app dating. I felt like these dating experiences were also mine. Thank you.
Hi! Holly another great video.
I just want you to know Holly I'm very thankful for your videos.
Great advice thank you 💚
This video really resonated with me. Thanks and for all of your videos. I really enjoy them.
Missed your video. Good morning 🌄. We will watch the video later....off to the gym child FREE
I’ll share soon. I love your channel.
Your channel is AWESOME! Your content is giving me newfound hope and encouragement. I'm locked in:) Thank you!
I really enjoy your channel and you! Agree with so much of your thoughts as a 58+ yr old. ❤
Wise advice for anyone at any age (for 48-y.o. man from Poland too 😀). Thanks!
That was young to lose your father, sorry to hear that. xoxo
New to your channel you look amazing
So true life lessons as mature woman what I've learnt is how important self-love is and boundaries
My quote is I was quiet but i wasn't blind
Excellent video!! ❤
You and your videos are great!
Good video! Great advice. :)
I learned years ago not to get into a project. A friend of mine, another pilot, wanted to buy 2 project aircraft. He would fix one, and i would fix the other.
His hangar that we were to work in, 1.5 hours away to drive there. One way. Not happening. All the time i spent going back and forth, i could spend in a rental aircraft.
This upset my friend. I'm not sure it ended our friendship, but it tanked shortly thereafter....
I have a question: you say it consoles you that you’ll meet your father again in afterlife; will he be sick? Suddenly healthy again, young, old? Will he be just an energy you feel?
❤😇🙏 love you’re sharing your wisdom 😻
I like your sweater…😎
Great advice 👌
Wao you are very very wise this is The most direct life experience I have come a cross on UA-cam or from any so Call prof relationship coach 😊
This is a wonderful video as are all your videos. ♥
Great Video! Right On 👍
~ 🦋
Sometimes the child says "no, I don't want the cookie". When they crave the cookie more than anything else. My Mom (r.i.p) worked with children. She would know.
Thanks for this, really relatable 🙏…except for the law of attraction that I don’t believe in 😼
The quote is when someone shows you who they are the first time believe them.
It doesn't take long to figure out who these people are. Unfortunately our society has broken down, families have broken, children have suffered because of so much divorce. Can't make people up, we have to deal with what's out there, or be alone, and that doesn't seem to be the answer either. Just seek wisdom. State to people, 'if you do this, I will have to separate', not DUMP PEOPLE LIKE GARBAGE.
You're not perfect either.
Fitting title .. Becoming me
I'm worried i might forget all these rules so I'll watch this again. 🙄
I'm going to disagree and call you out on the neg/pos energy nonsense. You've bought into this pablum. Energy by def is the ability to do work. What you might consider is encouraging your viewers to emit authentic and compassionate energy, then it's two way, a source and a sink. Then you're honestly and authenticity connecting with others. Being a phony always positive Polyana helps no one. Keep sharing your journey and perhaps share a bit more of your transition from being really depressed to now not so much and the contribution of loving individuals who helped you along the path? ❤
I don't get a "Polyana" as you call it vibe at all from her, she seems like a nice lady I think. She's not saying she's perfect or anything.
@lmccauley7319 I totally agree with you, I don't get that vibe either. Promoting to always be 'positive energy Polyana' when it's clearly not is phony and misses the opportunity to connect with another person who is honestly on the down. Be upfront, candid authentic and love will follow. 😊
agree with all you said,, it does all seem phony esp since she now wants us to pay to hear her preach!!
@@bp996959 You caught that too eh? Now there's a profit motive, what could possibly go wrong here? 🙄
Sure she does@lmccauley7319
Good video
You're smart. Also any chance you will tell us where you got that beautiful sweater? :)
About comparing your life to other people 's curated life on social media. There is a book by Mark Manson, the subtle art of not giving a f***. That is an excellent book about getting your priorities straight and not comparing yourself to others.