It Took Me 40 Years To Realize What I'll Tell You in the Next 10 Minutes

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  • Опубліковано 10 січ 2025

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  • @CampMom2012
    @CampMom2012 Місяць тому +527

    My favorite quote about worrying - "Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."

    • @kerryfoster1
      @kerryfoster1 Місяць тому +7

      Well it CAN rock you to sleep😂 but worrying changes NOTHING never has, never will so do not worry because what will happen will be fine in the end. That is my experience!

    • @mariadillon860
      @mariadillon860 Місяць тому +8

      Love this - thanks for sharing. Just looked it up and it’s by Erma Bombeck. I have added it to my “Quotes” document ❤

    • @pretaporterp
      @pretaporterp Місяць тому +3

      Love this!

    • @lorihunter351
      @lorihunter351 Місяць тому +6

      This is really good saying. I have never read of it. I wrote it down thank you. Makes sense.

    • @donnaatienza8001
      @donnaatienza8001 Місяць тому +4

      yes indeed so so true

  • @1Melody1963
    @1Melody1963 Місяць тому +424

    Years ago, I saw a phrase that has become my mantra, when it comes to worrying. “Give it to God and go to sleep. He’s going to be up all night anyway.”

  • @mm669
    @mm669 Місяць тому +1014

    I have found that at "retirement", I have had to reevaluate my friends. I lost my job at 60. Now, I realize, money will be more tight in retirement. I'm fine with doing free things like walking, hiking, share a cup of coffee or book club, but I can't afford to eat out, go to plays/concerts or travel. I have found it hard to keep friends who won't spend time doing the "cheaper" stuff with me. I save so I can join them for the group birthday lunches out, but find it boring to listen to them drone on about the wardrobe they bought for their latest vacation. These were people I was friends with for years but now finances have psychologically separated me. Does that make sense to anyone?

    • @kathy888
      @kathy888 Місяць тому +118

      There is still a lot that is available to you, beautiful drives in the country, having a picnic then, or camping, you meet great people camping! That's the benefit, you don't meet people at hotels! Learning to cook, and you know what goes into your food! Making a house home, candles, music, a better athmosphere than restaurants! I'm a 'cheeper' myself. Meet nice people at thrift stores. Never met anyone at Macy's. Good luck! Maybe get a dog or a cat if you don't have one.

    • @ivanvarykino8202
      @ivanvarykino8202 Місяць тому +173

      The simple pleasures are those worth living for. I have more than I will ever spend. But I lost my wife to m.s. right before we were to both retire together to RV across the country. I can tell you the motorhome, the cars, the gear, the stuff, has zero meaning now. I focus on the simple pleasures by choice. And if friends boast of material things that they have, knowing full well that a fellow friend has experienced a financial setback in their life, then those are not friends. Those are competitors. New company is needed.

    • @jude8132
      @jude8132 Місяць тому +133

      dogs! they don't care whether ur rich or poor, fat or thin, beautiful or plain, they just want ur love and attention which they return endlessly. a dog will never betray u and will take u on all kinds of adventures that will introduce u to like-minded people 🐕 🐾 ❤

    • @gabbypage6929
      @gabbypage6929 Місяць тому +38

      Doing hobbies in groups is far more fun and interesting.

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому +106

      When we go through difficult times in life and have to make changes, that's when we find out who are real friends are. Maybe you have become more enlightened and will meet new friends that share your beliefs and interests

  • @DuffyGabi
    @DuffyGabi Місяць тому +569

    When I was 50 my dad died with a lot of money in the bank but never having lived because mom wouldn’t. I instantly learned that I was gonna die too so I started living life. One kid at a time I took all four of them on really cool trips around America. I am 10 trips in. I detoxified my life by being less political and I fought like crazy to be positive around my kids and wife. People noticed the difference in me. 😀 About three years ago I started going to concerts even though my wife wouldn’t join me. That’s OK. I still have a great time. I’ve been to three concerts in the last three weeks. I feel blessed.

    • @johnballard6725
      @johnballard6725 Місяць тому +23

      The lady makes a lot of excellent points ! And I've always thought that people who are grateful are also people who are happy.

    • @windovrwatergirl
      @windovrwatergirl Місяць тому +27

      Wow I’m 58 and I’m thinking about going to a concert next summer without my husband. It’s true what she just said about Mya Angelo when some one shows you how they feel about you believe them.

    • @LivingConsciously707
      @LivingConsciously707 Місяць тому +14

      @@johnballard6725 Actually, people that are happy are naturally grateful. It all starts from you.

    • @peteroverbaugh6650
      @peteroverbaugh6650 Місяць тому +11

      Ever since I was in College, I did things that I liked to do (Rock 'n' Roll Shows, travel, restaurants that I was curious about, etc) regardless of whether or not someone else shared my interests. Be curious, self-reliant, self-contained and self-propelled: Be a King Bee and Buzz all around any hive...🐝♠🎵🎶⬆☯♓❗

    • @martinhanley9524
      @martinhanley9524 Місяць тому +18

      'I detoxified myself by being less political ' brilliant : how true - you know Oscar Wilde once said ' If you tell someone the truth they will kill you .. if you make them laugh they will get it '
      Your a Smart cookie 👍

  • @deanschulze3129
    @deanschulze3129 Місяць тому +534

    If someone shows you they don't care about you -- believe them and move on.
    I would add especially if they are your family. Family members can do more damage than anyone outside your family.

    • @lmccauley7319
      @lmccauley7319 Місяць тому +18

      true.

    • @mm669
      @mm669 Місяць тому +37

      I learned this the hard way and I still struggle to let go of the anger and just accept and pray for them. And, stay away from them to not have more bad memories.

    • @sevasweets7856
      @sevasweets7856 Місяць тому +24

      Very true. Experiencing this right now.

    • @virginiav.1172
      @virginiav.1172 Місяць тому +20

      So true and I wish I'd learned this sooner.

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +9

      It's never too late. Everyday is precious. It's a gift. 🌞
      Healing From A Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Could Attachment Styles Be Biological? - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
      From Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma-Bessel Van Der Kolk.
      Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
      Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles
      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ♥️

  • @garyfishel9612
    @garyfishel9612 29 днів тому +49

    At 68 yrs. I enjoy traveling, as long as I'm in my living room by 7:PM.

  • @marilynharris4118
    @marilynharris4118 Місяць тому +289

    1. when people show you who they are, believe them
    2. you can’t change others
    3. happiness comes from appreciating what you have here and now
    4. worry changes nothing
    5. not everyone will like you
    6. be self-reliant about your own feelings
    7. do what makes you happy
    8. trust and practice the law of attraction 🥰

  • @brendasaunders4956
    @brendasaunders4956 Місяць тому +101

    I tell younger people I meet, don’t beg for anyone’s friendship / or love keep moving in your own light you will feel better

  • @rona2069
    @rona2069 Місяць тому +202

    "Ultimately, we're all really here alone".....well said

    • @Jacquie_Kirk_111
      @Jacquie_Kirk_111 Місяць тому +13

      Were born alone, die alone, and there's the in between! Stark truth!

    • @lioraoppenheimer8965
      @lioraoppenheimer8965 Місяць тому +7

      Not me!! I always have my IMAGINARY FRIEND...GOD...watching me!

    • @lovelocked5385
      @lovelocked5385 26 днів тому +2

      God is always there 📖🔍 KJV.

    • @lovelocked5385
      @lovelocked5385 26 днів тому

      ​@@lioraoppenheimer8965 God will not be mocked

  • @mrsjohnson1743
    @mrsjohnson1743 Місяць тому +89

    The happiest and most free I've ever felt in my nearly 70 years was camping/living in an SUV in the solitude of beautiful nature.

  • @deborahm4484
    @deborahm4484 Місяць тому +96

    Thanks so much I am suffering with depression and you've made me realise I should be grateful for the gifts I have.i taught art for 26years lost my job because of covid also my friends turned from me because I never took vaccine.i now crochet for charity it makes me happy.just sitting crocheting for people less fortunate than me.many blessings and thanks.💝💝💝

    • @MichaelsPaintingChannel
      @MichaelsPaintingChannel Місяць тому +11

      You did the right thing. Listen: now find your group. Don't feel like not fitting in. It's a typical trap. I also have fallen in that one and many others. It's not necessary to be the lone wolf after some hurts. They had to be. Life continues. God bless!

    • @deborahm4484
      @deborahm4484 Місяць тому +2

      Thank you so much for the advice.blessings.💝

    • @glendapeglau4694
      @glendapeglau4694 8 днів тому +1

      Ditto !!! Life has a funny way of letting us know it's time to move on.. my spiritual growth was off the charts.. seasons of hardship/ isolation can change us the core ❤

  • @bobbysmith5514
    @bobbysmith5514 Місяць тому +71

    Remember the power of saying "Even if.." For example.....say "Even if my life is a mess....I will NEVER give up and I will STILL keep trusting in God."

    • @EC-yd9yv
      @EC-yd9yv Місяць тому +5

      And .. Yet. I don't know... Yet .
      I don't understand, yet.
      Im not a millionaire, yet. etc. 🌸

    • @bobbysmith5514
      @bobbysmith5514 Місяць тому +5

      @EC-yd9yv ...Right...the beginning of the sentence acknowledges the struggle and situation you're in.....The second part of the statement is saying.... even if everything is like this...I will still overcome. It's pretty empowering.

    • @QHarefield
      @QHarefield 25 днів тому

      Habakkuk 3:17-18 😊

  • @Julesawakened
    @Julesawakened Місяць тому +185

    Remember that people change, even if you have been married for 30 years they can still become a person you do not know, it’s sad but it happens so never give yourself completely, always value yourself and have your own independence. Best wishes to all. ❤

    • @ukulelebutterfly
      @ukulelebutterfly Місяць тому +11

      @Julesawakened Sometimes they become a Better Person 😊✌️
      ~ 🦋

    • @LucianaVIP1
      @LucianaVIP1 Місяць тому +6

      Perhaps the opportunity came along and they just show who they really are?

    • @natureg4696
      @natureg4696 Місяць тому +4

      @@ukulelebutterflyyeah rarely

    • @LightnessofJoy
      @LightnessofJoy Місяць тому

      So true

    • @Lalallalu
      @Lalallalu 22 дні тому

      Beautiful advice. Thanks 🙏

  • @gailthompson9005
    @gailthompson9005 Місяць тому +66

    Everything you say is “spot on.”
    Add: if you don’t want to get up in the morning, get up anyway. Get dressed. Once the day is gone, you can’t get it back.

  • @NikkiGonzalez-wh7ff
    @NikkiGonzalez-wh7ff Місяць тому +176

    Like the saying goes…don’t tell people your problems. 80% of them don’t care and the other 20% are glad you have them.

    • @chris-i6u
      @chris-i6u Місяць тому +6

      anyway you look at it..........that is sad.

    • @barbaraparker6996
      @barbaraparker6996 Місяць тому +9

      ​@@chris-i6u Sad, but true.

    • @vivian9803
      @vivian9803 21 день тому +2

      Ouch but true

  • @SandyAMacKenzie
    @SandyAMacKenzie Місяць тому +60

    It's hard to be grumpy when your grateful❤

  • @margieyates4817
    @margieyates4817 Місяць тому +173

    I am so glad that I found your channel. I am 89 years old, still working plus ebay seller since 1997. Your positive outlook drew me in. I have lived alone for 30 years & have had many adventures,in this lifetime. Traveled for a few years in a motor home with two cats, self-employed most of my life. I look forward to seeing your other videos.

    • @danielawillbold880
      @danielawillbold880 Місяць тому +20

      Love that: living alone, having many adventures 🎉🎉🎉. That's how it should be👊👏

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому +8

      That is awesome!

    • @champ626
      @champ626 Місяць тому +18

      Sounds like you need your own UA-cam channel. I would watch!!!

    • @SandyAMacKenzie
      @SandyAMacKenzie Місяць тому +4

      I love it Margie, tomorrows not promised ... you are Living it

    • @db20646
      @db20646 Місяць тому +4

      I think this is awesome and was thinking the same if you had time for a UA-cam channel. I love hearing of others' journeys and things to do better. Yolo

  • @leticiamolina1326
    @leticiamolina1326 Місяць тому +74

    You do not look 64! I had to read it twice because you look amazing!

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому +3

      Thank you

    • @tanyawieczorek6603
      @tanyawieczorek6603 29 днів тому +5

      Exactly what I thought, no way this lady is 64 😊

    • @sharonmelancon1730
      @sharonmelancon1730 28 днів тому +3

      I agree! She looks great too.

    • @S.Morgenstern
      @S.Morgenstern 26 днів тому +2

      She does look great but don't forget about lighting, filters and so on ...

    • @nicolecourt7829
      @nicolecourt7829 23 дні тому +7

      @@S.Morgenstern i think she has an inner light !

  • @cynthiabercaw3462
    @cynthiabercaw3462 Місяць тому +90

    Learn how to say "no", without explanation, and be OK with it.

    • @ladygaynor16
      @ladygaynor16 25 днів тому +3

      Definitely. Be polite, but don't give an explaination. Boundaries will serve you well!

    • @jenniferaltimari8262
      @jenniferaltimari8262 23 дні тому

      This ❤

    • @Lalallalu
      @Lalallalu 22 дні тому

      A recipe for avoidant attachment

  • @thecraftloft
    @thecraftloft Місяць тому +33

    Im turning 50 next month and what I've recently learned in life that 1) I dont need to tell my side of the story. I know my truth and that is all that matters. 2) setting & keeping boundaries is so important. You will definitely lose ppl but they weren't meant to be in your life anyway. (The boundaries will weed ppl out.) And 3) "No" is a complete sentence.

    • @Indypendy
      @Indypendy Місяць тому

      So true, especially about the boundaries and no.

    • @LMBL-hp2jc
      @LMBL-hp2jc Місяць тому

      Yes! I can relate you’re your number 1.

  • @maureenvallieres3555
    @maureenvallieres3555 Місяць тому +86

    We are not alone God is with us! ❤

    • @ladygaynor16
      @ladygaynor16 25 днів тому +2

      Yes, prayer is our best tool in dealing with people. Prayer is both a gift and a wonderful blessing from a very loving heavenly father!

    • @isay207
      @isay207 25 днів тому +2

      Where

    • @markvincent8148
      @markvincent8148 24 дні тому +1

      ​@isay207 he is everywhere and right next to you. You just need to open the door to him. Jesus does not push his way in but we need to be ready to accept him and he'll come in and walk with us and never leave us.

    • @Wendy-Ma
      @Wendy-Ma 20 днів тому +2

      The pushers of god and Jesus, no doubt tell you that they need to have your money to allow you to enter heaven, when will you people wake up!

  • @mikehughes421
    @mikehughes421 Місяць тому +62

    My God, you just made me realize what I've been going through for 20 years. I'm 63 and I almost started crying

    • @butterflywings50
      @butterflywings50 Місяць тому +7

      Same. 64 years old and I’m still stuck worrying and ruminating all the time. It’s very hard to break free from it. Wishing you peace and contentment 🙌

    • @angelaweiss846
      @angelaweiss846 Місяць тому +4

      64 here turning. 65 on April 1. This resonates with me also.

  • @KierraKnightIllustration
    @KierraKnightIllustration Місяць тому +16

    I spent my youth trying to live for the validation of others. Now that I am in my 30s, I am finally living in a way that makes me happy.

  • @ronmexico5908
    @ronmexico5908 Місяць тому +29

    Comparison is the thief of joy. Not just social media but all over, people are in endless comparison mode and are miserable for it. Being around most people isn’t worth the effort

    • @littlemissy8356
      @littlemissy8356 Місяць тому +1

      You will alway have lesser and greater persons than yourself.

  • @margard5227
    @margard5227 Місяць тому +38

    I have a PHD in worrying!!
    You are so right!

    • @UserIfgtwon231
      @UserIfgtwon231 Місяць тому +2

      Me too ,I worry even for being alive sometimes I think death is much better ,while people worry about dying I worry about living

  • @marywolfe6598
    @marywolfe6598 Місяць тому +28

    Jesus said I will never leave you nor forsake you......the Holy Spirit is a comfort for a grieving soul. The bible says to weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn. We were never meant to do it all alone.

    • @frederickrapp5396
      @frederickrapp5396 25 днів тому +4

      Jesus is the only person who will not leave or forsake us. Everyone else will leave us. It’s just a question of when, not if. Don’t rely on anybody to always be with you or to help you. If you have Jesus in your life, he is all you need.

  • @jerryskelly1395
    @jerryskelly1395 Місяць тому +36

    Fellow Western New Yorker, Therapist, and soon turning 64 years old.
    Joseph Campbell offered great advice for living a good life. Follow your bliss.
    You sound as though you have reached a point in your life where you are content and satisfied. I enjoy watching your videos. Keep up the good work

  • @nurshark10
    @nurshark10 Місяць тому +83

    I agree with you on every point. One thing that I would add is, ”Avoid destination addiction!” I used to do this but now that I’m older I have found that it’s useless.
    Don’t tell yourself that:
    -when I have this
    -I’d be happy if
    -I’d be happier when
    -if, then, after….
    Live for today. Time is precious and every day is valuable. Don’t tell yourself that things will change, come, happen later when you are at that “destination.”
    There may never be a later! Bloom where you are planted. The journey is the destination!!! 😊
    Love your videos and relating to someone who is like-minded. Thank you.

    • @howardrowan1871
      @howardrowan1871 Місяць тому +5

      Too true!!

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +8

      Everyday is precious. It's a gift. We are lucky to be the age we are. Do things that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. 🌞

    • @jeanineskitchen2607
      @jeanineskitchen2607 Місяць тому +3

      im still trying to stop doing that

    • @nwangui
      @nwangui Місяць тому +2

      Thanks for your comment I will use it in my Facebook inspiration page. Blessings

  • @DeniseGidden1
    @DeniseGidden1 Місяць тому +39

    Hi - love your insight! I'm 65... and have learned much of what you speak of. Another Maya Angelou quote that changed MY life is, "If I'd a known better, I'd a done better". We're all doing the best we can with what we have and know at the time ...helped me let go of guilt and forgive myself. Thanks for all you do! :)

  • @622barmacost
    @622barmacost Місяць тому +36

    Boy did I need this today!! I have been amping up the anxiety and realized I need to get over this and stop worrying. Thank you!! And thank the comments made by your followers.

  • @KathleenMcNe
    @KathleenMcNe Місяць тому +85

    This is why I believe many conversations about difficult issues are a waste of time. Such conversations often center around one partner/spouse trying to change the behavior of the other partner/spouse. It's more productive and realistic to accept that a partner's/spouse's behavior doesn't work for you and part ways.

    • @OneMountainNine
      @OneMountainNine Місяць тому +6

      Ideally you’d know yourself better and either choose somone else from the getgo, or resolve to accept someone else less conditionally. We all have idiosyncratic tendencies and we’d never survive as a species if everyone was a “lone wolf” all their life. When you’re unable to get around anymore most people remember/ reminisce about connections and travel. There’s nothing like forming a bond with someone in a foreign land together. It forces you to work together and triumph over adversity which builds trust and respect when someone else makes you a priority and makes sacrifices for you.

    • @millie9814
      @millie9814 Місяць тому +2

      This depends if the person is mature, which is rare these days. My husband actually listens and makes changes, hard to believe, I know; I had a narcissistic father who never listened.

    • @OneMountainNine
      @OneMountainNine Місяць тому

      @@millie9814 My ex never listened. It was her way or no way at all.

    • @suzannortega6671
      @suzannortega6671 Місяць тому +4

      Just because people don’t agree w everything that the other believes is NOT a reason to “part ways” that’s an immature & ridiculous reaction. Try compromise & acceptance that you do not have to be on the same page & that’s OK!!

    • @OneMountainNine
      @OneMountainNine Місяць тому

      @@millie9814 I’ve surrounded myself with people who respect and trust me. Finding the unicorn woman who faults are compatible with mine? They all live too far away. Dates aren’t hard to find. Third dates are rare. Women are either no libido and need to be warmed up slowly or they’re still bitter about men. Very few even want to take the time to self reflect. I’ve met more women 20-30 who want a sense of humor is compatible and someone who’s real/genuine. Then there’s the Bible study or the party girl who doesn’t even care what my name is. And women think pickings are slim. Is it Mercury retrograde or tarot, or women entrepreneurs who have UA-cam channels and a side hustle? Times are tough apparently. Guys are either celibate or it’s college life with no long term relationships! May as well stay single and keep traveling while I’m still able to tour? ;)

  • @vickivanyo7222
    @vickivanyo7222 Місяць тому +31

    I am 58... The most diffucult time of my life.. 🧬 but my faith keeps me getting up and letting go

  • @pauletteworoniak431
    @pauletteworoniak431 Місяць тому +17

    Having peace within yourself and being content with who you are is a constant battle. Wholeness is about being authentic with yourself, loving yourself, believing in yourself, enjoying yourself, and this is achievable if we can stop the negative mind talk. Quiet the mind and refuse to play all those negative head videos of our past, equals peace.

    • @kevinspano7315
      @kevinspano7315 27 днів тому

      Change your thinking; change your life. So true

  • @henriettahenson
    @henriettahenson Місяць тому +20

    My dear DAD. Taught me when I was a young woman @he just said STOP worrying 95% of things
    we worry about NEVER happen...... My grandads quote was "" "it's not always dark at 6" o'clock ",,,, and I say life is a great gift..unwrap it and enjoy even if it's a disappointment at times ❤

  • @butterflywings50
    @butterflywings50 Місяць тому +24

    Wow. Fellow 64-year-old here. I was just this morning texting with a friend about how I’ve been worrying so much lately and how I’ve suddenly found myself addicted to scrolling through social media (or non-social media as, let’s face it, there’s really nothing social about it). Thank you for this video! It’s exactly what I needed to hear today. ❤

  • @sarahvogel1359
    @sarahvogel1359 14 годин тому

    This video needs to be mandatory viewing for every 18 year-old ready to graduate high school! What a great compilation of very basic "HOW TO DO LIFE". What unnecessary regrets and griefs could be avoided if living by these principles! THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR WISDOM!!!!!

  • @YouCanCallMeChente
    @YouCanCallMeChente Місяць тому +16

    Can't say I agree with all of what you're saying but will still say, Nailed It! I sure am an advocate of what Ben Franklin said "While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us" My version of that is "You can not control what others say or do, only how you let it affect you."
    😉

  • @debp5553
    @debp5553 Місяць тому +16

    i lost my husband last year after 34 years of marriage and I took my children and grandchildren on a trip and am so grateful that they came! I will never forget the good times we had together! Since I am home now, I have a better outlook on my life moving forward. Also, I am a journal maker and plan to make a gratitude journal. Some days it's hard to see what you're grateful for but I have more to be grateful for that I ever knew before! Thank you for the idea of writing down what I am grateful for!

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому

      Thanks for sharing!!

    • @vanesagvl9095
      @vanesagvl9095 Місяць тому

      Even when going through grief and depression, I can always find something to be grateful about: my house, the food we get to eat everyday when so many do not, ...

  • @DominiqueFrancon
    @DominiqueFrancon Місяць тому +25

    All of the things on your list resonated with me. I will be turning 70 in April. I had breast cancer eight years ago. All of my long-term friends have passed away. The last eight years have been intensely reflective for me. I feel like I want to do something profound and bold in my third act.

  • @cynthia216
    @cynthia216 Місяць тому +13

    I am 65 and I do workout 3 days a week but as an introvert I don't socialize well.I am watching your video for the 1st time....lots of truth here.I love it.I do live day to day.🇨🇦🙂 2:56

  • @cn4492
    @cn4492 Місяць тому +10

    Prayer and God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit is the way to true lasting joy. Happiness is fleeting. Joy comes from a personal relationship with God. We must stop the self obsession and get out there and help somebody!

  • @NoName-zb1gm
    @NoName-zb1gm 29 днів тому +10

    I met a 64 year old woman and she's 7 years older than me but I love her so much. I wish she could settle her heart and her mind and see me the same way I see her. There's just something about her I can't explain. I truly want to take care of her in every way and make her happy and hold her close to me so we can both feel at peace. So it's nice seeing a woman the same age who is grounded and has some wisdom after being on this earth for 64 years.

  • @christianburke418
    @christianburke418 Місяць тому +23

    Give thanks for your warm bed. Give thanks for the good food you made. Give thanks for the warn shower that you took. Give thanks because your car is running well and give thanks for the many, many small things in your life. Next, if you see a homeless person, give that person all the money in your pocket because that person has none of the above to be thankful for. Give it some time, but you will begin to feel different in a very good way. SphereMotor, the future of electricity

  •  27 днів тому +11

    Somebody said to put aside a time to worry ever day, like 10 minutes. Sit down & worry hard about all your issues at that time. When the ten minutes are up, get up & go about your day. It's now yours to enjoy with no worries.

  • @SeanC1959
    @SeanC1959 Місяць тому +21

    All I can say is that as a 65 y.o. man (in 5 days time), ..... I love your philosophy. It resonates very much with my approach to life. Thank you Holly. Regards, Sean.

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому +2

      I will be 65 in December! Thank you so much!

    • @martas9258
      @martas9258 Місяць тому

      Happy birthday 🥳

  • @Nighttrips
    @Nighttrips 14 днів тому +11

    I am so tired of being a good, loving and caring person when all the universe gives me regardless is depression, sadness, financial hardship and loneliness. I've done all the things I am supposed to do. IT DOESN'T MATTER. Either you're chosen to have a great life or you're chosen to have headaches, heartaches, sorrow and financial strife always. This is why I live by one law nowadays. That one law is simple "hooray for me and the hell with everyone else". Guess what, my life has improved drastically since implementing it.

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  14 днів тому +1

      Thank you so much for sharing.

    • @sarahvogel1359
      @sarahvogel1359 15 годин тому

      Same. I am kind and thoughtful, listen to everyone's problems, and never get anything in return. People are generally self-centered and only care about themselves. I am going to try your mantra. Thank you for sharing!

  • @bunberrier
    @bunberrier Місяць тому +11

    Im approaching her age and can confirm. You could hear from many wise people and their lists would be similar, because the truths are universal.
    Well said!

  • @LivingConsciously707
    @LivingConsciously707 Місяць тому +19

    It's important to know, everyone you come in contact with, whether they are nice to you or not, you allowed them into your life. It's through the law of matching vibrations. Of course you can't blame someone else, or want them to change because you brought them into your life. When you elevate yourself, you'll be in a higher vibration and now you will be open to those that match your vibration. If you are complaining about someone or some experience, know you are vibrating the same as that person and or experience. Change your vibration to a higher level. Practice becoming a better you and your outside world will shift.

    • @BalletShoes-c1k
      @BalletShoes-c1k Місяць тому +3

      I think that every person we come into contact with can teach us something, that is, how to be and how NOT to be.

  • @BarbaraS-o4z
    @BarbaraS-o4z Місяць тому +43

    Very true about grief. I lost my brother this year in a car accident at age of 57 and the grief was overwhelming at times! I had to pull strength from within and a firm belief in God and heaven. ❤❤❤❤

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому +12

      I'm so sorry for your loss and thankful you found strength in God.

    • @Indypendy
      @Indypendy Місяць тому +7

      I’m sorry to hear that your brother died, I lost my brother about a year ago as well. My brother definitely is in my heart. It’s hard to lose someone you grew up with

    • @Mostarinabizlee
      @Mostarinabizlee Місяць тому +3

      ​@@Indypendyi lost my brother last year who was only 27. It broke me into pieces and i dont live anymore. I am only surviving

    • @SHarrell237
      @SHarrell237 Місяць тому

      ​@@Mostarinabizlee🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • @HealingFun67
      @HealingFun67 29 днів тому +2

      ​@@MostarinabizleeI am so sorry to hear this... it is hard to move on... but please remember to feel grateful you had your brother for so many years and now you will honour him most by living at the fullest, for both of you ❤️‍🩹🌈 I lost my sister before I I was even born and am sorry, I never met her. Sending you love and find joy in life Again 💪🫶

  • @2Mushy
    @2Mushy День тому

    Finally letting go of the beliefe of a "higher power" has been the most free and safe I have ever felt. Thank you for your video

  • @jjones4314
    @jjones4314 Місяць тому +26

    I really enjoy your video's mainly because they are down to earth & honest that many of us can relate to - especially those of us in our 60's, 70's & beyond! Thank you for sharing your thoughts & life experiences with us! Keep up the good work! 😊

  • @theresaglass1831
    @theresaglass1831 Місяць тому +30

    I agree with a lot of what you’ve said with one exception, my relationship with Christ is what gives me the strength to do a lot of what you’re saying. There is a scripture that says “ As a man thinks in his heart, so he is “. It is true that we will become that which we constantly dwell on in our mind. If we are a worrier we will live in constant negativity. That is not a fun way to live!

    • @allthingsjanee7192
      @allthingsjanee7192 Місяць тому +1

      If you don’t mind me asking what were the practical things you did to build your relationship with Christ?

    • @theresaglass1831
      @theresaglass1831 Місяць тому +5

      @ goodness, let’s see if I can put this in a nutshell. By being in His Word. I won’t say daily because that would be untrue. Let’s face it, as long as I have to fight with this carnal nature of mine, some days I get lazy. 😉🤣 also I quite regularly listen to men that I feel are anointed to teach the truth of God’s Word. That said I never swallow what’s said till I go to His Word and prove for myself whether or not what’s being said is true. If I don’t understand something, I put on a shelf till I do. Also I feel I have a special relationship with Jesus because He was my invisible friend when I was younger before He became my Savior at 16. 🥰. Didn’t have the greatest childhood like many of us. For me Jesus is my everything! He’s Blessed me with a life I never thought possible. Well so much for putting it in a nutshell. 🤣🤣🤣

    • @user-t8u
      @user-t8u Місяць тому +6

      @@theresaglass1831 I love that sentence, “If I don’t understand something, put it on a shelf until I do.” Thank you for the visualization.

  • @jimmarshall807
    @jimmarshall807 24 дні тому +4

    Great list, 64 y.o. here. Only thing that didn't chime was the need to believe in a higher power to get through tough times. I've been through divorce and the loss of both my parents and faced it straight, not having such a belief. Tough for sure (as I'm sure it is even with belief) but you have to look life in the face when it gets hard.

  • @StellaChristelle
    @StellaChristelle Місяць тому +10

    What I’ve learned is that it’s true Everyone will disappoint you in some way, you have to choose the ones that you want to keep around anyway.

  • @l.g.4451
    @l.g.4451 Місяць тому +15

    Knowing what you DO NOT want in life is a HUGE BENEFIT! What are your deal breakers? Mine are...I don't do narcissists, I don't spend time with those who only talk about themselves or are self-serving. I don't spend time with people who are shallow, ignorant, and don't care to continue to learn and become aware. I don't spend time around gossipers, people who are selfish, people who don't show kindness or have a belief in God/Source. People who are angry and lack self-control, I avoid at all costs. Once you get the basic deal breakers out of the way it's a whole lot easier to know what kind of people you like being around. It's not hard.

  • @CoachSarahNicoleB
    @CoachSarahNicoleB Місяць тому +6

    When you really think on the fact that worry changes nothing, it's so freeing. It gives you that push to just think about things that make you happy no matter what is going on! 💖

  • @EmmaEmmie-x2e
    @EmmaEmmie-x2e Місяць тому +27

    WOW! God is trying to tell me something. You just popped up on my feed this morning, and I want to thank you. I am 60 years old and alone for the first time. This new chapter in life has definitely been an awakening experience. I fled an abusive husband, leaving everything but my dog behind, and am going through a divorce. Within months of my departure, a hurricane destroyed our home. I am in a safe place, and I am so grateful! I am so broken, and I am learning to love myself again. I have realized I do not like the weak, depressed person I once was. In this short time, I have learned that money and material things are unimportant. The main change in my life was the other night while in prayer when I turned everything over to God. I have found that I need to live each day to the fullest and take notice of the small things in life that, in truth, bring me the most joy.

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому +5

      Thank you so much for sharing your story! If you have not contacted the domestic violence hotline please do so, they can be a valuable source of info when going through what you are going through. I know, because I used to work for our domestic violence shelter and program. There may be a support group that you could join also. Best of luck and so glad you found my channel!

    • @EmmaEmmie-x2e
      @EmmaEmmie-x2e Місяць тому +1

      @@BecomingMe64 Thank you!

    • @AndeThompson-ex6sv
      @AndeThompson-ex6sv 29 днів тому +1

      You and I are in the same place. I am 58. The state arrested my husband, because of the strangulation marks on my neck. My family has abandoned me. They are embarrassed, that he was arrested. My parents are supporting him, due to “religion”. He sings, in the choir, every Sunday.
      I must stop ruminating, and move forward. I have PTSD, so things are difficult. You are in my prayers!

    • @jesusfaith2232
      @jesusfaith2232 23 дні тому

      ⁠@@AndeThompson-ex6svyou stay strong, you are strong keep moving forward 🙏❤

  • @DuffyGabi
    @DuffyGabi Місяць тому +26

    Here’s an idea for a future video. “Things I learned in life that contribute to a more positive relationship.” Here’s my two cents. (1) Look for reasons to be grateful for your partner, not reasons to be ungrateful. (2) Show grace. We all have our shortcomings. (3) Relationships aren’t a 50-50 proposition. Each person should give 100%. Of course all of these are much easier to do if your partner is also invested in the relationship.

  • @Mantaray911
    @Mantaray911 Місяць тому +120

    Looking good for 64 ❤

    • @joniheisenberg
      @joniheisenberg Місяць тому +10

      How about looking good AT 64, instead of FOR.

    • @Mantaray911
      @Mantaray911 Місяць тому +4

      @@joniheisenberg how about GFY.

    • @joniheisenberg
      @joniheisenberg Місяць тому +1

      @@Mantaray911 Such a witty retort.🤡

    • @williamwightman8409
      @williamwightman8409 Місяць тому +4

      @@joniheisenberg I think that was just a blatant troll, just for the halibut.

    • @TravelinRosy2025
      @TravelinRosy2025 Місяць тому +3

      Yes

  • @kz-vp2ke
    @kz-vp2ke Місяць тому +15

    10 min chats...perfect in today's mental conditioning....thank you....friends/family love it.

  • @mcjackspaz
    @mcjackspaz 25 днів тому +9

    You are glowing!
    I’m surrounded by people who tell me aging means getting sicker, more in pain, and less clear.
    It helps a lot to sit in the energy of people like yourself! Thank you 🙏

  • @CristinaRodriguez-fg3ep
    @CristinaRodriguez-fg3ep 8 днів тому +1

    Thank you...your words are Truth. At 60 Years old I just figure that no matter what I do someone is not happy, I try to change myself so to be accepted by others to finally, after many tears decide that I will put myself first, be myself and whoever likes me will walk with me in my journey...
    I'm si glad that I'm not alone in the way I fell!!

  • @wesmcdonell8310
    @wesmcdonell8310 Місяць тому +15

    It’s never easy to practice what we preach is it !

  • @diannevenner-kc6gu
    @diannevenner-kc6gu 9 днів тому +1

    Spot on about changing people they have to want to change themselves. And happiness as well. And gratitude. And dont worry... Doesn't change anything.

  • @chime-girl
    @chime-girl Місяць тому +25

    "No matter where you go, there you are" (Confucius)

  • @PaulMihill
    @PaulMihill 10 днів тому +1

    I’ve just watched your video “what 64 years has taught me “ and you literally said word for word what my 60 years has taught me wow, your wisdom is a gift that I’m truly thankful for so please keep giving, it comforts, educates and inspires me. Thank you

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  10 днів тому

      Wow, thank you

    • @PaulMihill
      @PaulMihill 9 днів тому

      No, thank you. It makes me feel good to know that someone else out there has the same mentality and views as I do, which kind of confirms to me that we are not wrong because I’m pretty sure we won’t be the only ones. I’m a collector of life’s quotes and wisdom and one that has resonated with me for many years is “ create the life you love.“ please keep up your positive work, believe me it’s needed in todays world and I can imagine it brings a lot of comfort and guidance to many people.

  • @going4sober
    @going4sober Місяць тому +5

    Grief is an inner journey & tapping into our own strength

  • @rickjohnson5154
    @rickjohnson5154 17 днів тому +3

    I really like what this lady is saying ! There’s 3 quotes that go along with what she’s saying and I know they are worth noting because they’re so true !
    Time always exposes what you truly mean to someone.
    Be careful who you trust , salt and sugar look the same .
    If you don’t let go of the wrong people you’ll never meet the right !

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  17 днів тому +1

      Well said! Thank you

    • @rickjohnson5154
      @rickjohnson5154 17 днів тому

      @@BecomingMe64 this is sorta crazy that I stumbled upon your channel and it resonated with me so much that I’ve commented on it ! I love what you’re saying cause it definitely hits home with me ! Continue what your doing please cause there’s a whole lot of people that needs to hear what your saying !

  • @lisaquick1196
    @lisaquick1196 Місяць тому +11

    I love how you've made your channel an inviting place for people to share their experiences and connect with others! I think it's a real service!

  • @treesmolthof7107
    @treesmolthof7107 7 днів тому

    Beautiful! I'm 65 now and I too have discoverd this not so long ago. And I'm still not quite where I want to be in my life but I'm convinced I will rather soon. I get happier every day, Indeed learning to appreciate what I have and being thankful for it.
    Thank you for sharing your story and much blessings from the Netherlands. Love, Theresa🙏💖

  • @sheilahall7588
    @sheilahall7588 Місяць тому +26

    I am your age, separated one year, lonely, and wishing I would have learned a lot of these things you mentioned sooner. Trying to figure out how to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Ordered the book. I am always looking for a magic bullet even though I know there isn’t one.

    • @jjones4314
      @jjones4314 Місяць тому +8

      Have you thought about doing volunteer work? Places like hospitals, thrift stores etc would love to have you! Sometimes reaching out & helping others gives us a sense of purpose & takes the focus off of ourselves. Just a thought.

    • @sheilahall7588
      @sheilahall7588 Місяць тому +3

      @ yes a hospice volunteer until Covid

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому +1

      So glad you bought the book. Please take your time reading it and implement some of the techniques suggested

  • @el_grecko_31
    @el_grecko_31 27 днів тому +2

    Words of eternal wisdom.
    I'm 67 and your words ring truer than any bell that has ever been rung. You are a realistic person with so much to give others. Keep going with your gig.
    Harry Chapin wrote a song a long time ago called WOLD and a line in the song is:
    "you can travel 10,000 miles and still stay where you are."
    So true... Take care be safe.

  • @taramatheis1451
    @taramatheis1451 Місяць тому +5

    Thank you for your wise words, nothing really new to me, but very welcome & timely reminders!
    Abd by the way you look wonderful for 64 with such a glow about you! ❤

  • @gilream
    @gilream 25 днів тому +2

    I'm 71....the last 20 years have been the happiest of my life. sounds like you have had some challenges but are starting to be happy. Your are correct it only comes from within. Until you stop giving a crap about what others think, you will be mentally chasing your tail.

  • @janetclaireSays
    @janetclaireSays Місяць тому +9

    I'm at an age where my peers are retiring. Just as when we were younger and it seemed a competition about who had the best jobs, best vacations, best homes, now it seems to be who's having the best retirement. "My new convertible VW retirement car" "We're in Paris, look at all our photos of the good retirement life" "Going on our 3rd cruise!" "Our investments and savings really paid off!".... I'm not even saying people are saying these things with the intention of 'winning the retirement game' but it feels like that. Your advice here is very helpful.

    • @littlemissy8356
      @littlemissy8356 Місяць тому

      The only way you can entertain a atmosphere of competition is if its in your own head.

  • @TrishaBarreto
    @TrishaBarreto 2 години тому

    Your dad is proud of you. This was priceless wisdom.

  • @brendasaunders4956
    @brendasaunders4956 Місяць тому +5

    Yeah, you look great at 64 God bless and thanks for sharing I pray daily too

  • @Chris-w7e
    @Chris-w7e Місяць тому +3

    Thank you for this video. I have gone through tragic situations myself and we all handle grief differently. You are correct that we each are alone in our struggle.

  • @SaffronHammer
    @SaffronHammer Місяць тому +7

    Yes! To all this advice except for the belief in god and an afterlife.
    A Believer for most of my life, I am now agnostic atheist and happier and stronger and healthier than ever.
    But that is another thing I have learned: to each their own: what works for one and makes them happy may not work for another. The answers are within each of us and our oath is ours alone, unique to us ❤

  • @henriettahenson
    @henriettahenson Місяць тому +23

    I've thought about the travelling in a van thing...🤔🚒. I WILL TAKE THE CUP OF TEA AND READING A BOOK ANYTIME 🍵📙🤗💋

  • @robertwheatley2471
    @robertwheatley2471 Місяць тому +6

    6:00 ... very true. At the end of the day a person only has his or herself. Losing both parents in the past year has basically been life-changing. There's no way to prepare when it occurs and friends and family can only do so much. Everyone at some point goes through loss but it is devastating. Single with no siblings or kids and only 1 remaining relative and the past year has been difficult and a real wake-up call.

  • @Luanavit22
    @Luanavit22 Місяць тому +14

    You appear to be a very good person. ❤ I wish you many blessings. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @christopherbarker181
    @christopherbarker181 Місяць тому +3

    You are very wise, and this is wonderful advice. I have a hard time learning to love myself because of past mistakes but I do believe that Christ died that I might live and if He could forgive me, then I can too. I do have a wonderful daughter and family that loves me and that really helps! Yes, the Lord told us what gain is there for us to worry, place all our cares on Him! Thank you!

  • @debiamdeb
    @debiamdeb Місяць тому +2

    I can relate to everything you said, I add in the power of prayer too. An attitude of gratitude combats depression & changes negatives into positives. Counting one’s blessings is a heavenly way of looking at one’s life & it saved mine. God bless you Holly, you are a wise & beautiful angel 😇 filled with love & compassion for others. 🙏

  • @OneWithNature67
    @OneWithNature67 Місяць тому +11

    You're very wise! You've summed it all up very well. Two bits I could add are: "Less is More" and "One thing at a time"

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому +2

      My brother that had Parkinsons used to say, just put one foot in front of the other if that's all you can do

    • @OneWithNature67
      @OneWithNature67 Місяць тому

      @@BecomingMe64 Great Advice for anyone :)

  • @faithm.8958
    @faithm.8958 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you!! I’m 32 years old and these are great!!! And some mind blowing!! ❤

  • @te9839
    @te9839 Місяць тому +15

    Very nice list. For me - I always need a project, big or small but something to work towards. I think it is the "Harry Home Owners - Home Depot Guy" inside of me. At 64 we moved from New England and bought a 40 acre home and farm. Two years ago I lost my wife after a very long illness which left a gigantic hole in my life. I still run an overseas business, but I also started planting a black walnut orchard with a goal of establishing 3,000 trees for my kids benefit. I am 800 trees into my project which I do not ever expect to see the end results, but my kids will have a grand pay day when they are my age, and they can harvest the timber.

    • @BecomingMe64
      @BecomingMe64  Місяць тому

      I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree, we are never too old to have goals and something to work toward

  • @cindyb7414
    @cindyb7414 Місяць тому +2

    Wow! I needed to hear this today, thank you. I’m 62 and having extreme difficulties with my adult daughter. Your words resonated with me in the best way possible.

    • @jesusfaith2232
      @jesusfaith2232 23 дні тому

      I’m with you here, my son is very difficult, keep your distance, if she does not change move on,if you dont it will cost you your mental health 🙏

  • @maryferr333
    @maryferr333 Місяць тому +3

    ❤so true, very true 63, and I learned all these as well thank you always said worry is a waste of time...

  • @leighwiseman8389
    @leighwiseman8389 3 дні тому

    Thank you for your video. My father was killed in a horrific road accident when I was 19 years old. Your videos are extremely helpful, thank you very much
    Xxx

    • @leighwiseman8389
      @leighwiseman8389 3 дні тому

      PS, so sorry, to add I am 66 years old, from the UK x

  • @kathyjohnson1911
    @kathyjohnson1911 Місяць тому +4

    At 64 I’m so grateful I learned these things about 30 years ago. Nice reminder, though ❤️

  • @Nonidee
    @Nonidee 28 днів тому +1

    YOU ARE SO RIGHT ! I went through many sad times trying to make others happy and caring about their well being and it came across as bitching now I still care but I don’t waste any energy saying anything anymore I just sit back and watch ! It took me many many years to figure that out but now I’m so happy cause I’m finally taking care of me ! I’ve learned to not worry about something you have no control over. I’m grateful for everything I have now and I spend my time in prayer. God Bless you for your wise words.

  • @kvietimas
    @kvietimas Місяць тому +8

    Great advice and insights! You are so beautiful and inspiring. My motto has been lately - live your life today and enjoy every moment. Working with the geriatric population reminds me of this every day. I ask my patients often if they look back and have thoughts about what they could have done differently in their lives. The answer is almost always the same - I wish I could enjoy life more than I did, spend more time with those I loved, traveled, worried less.. etc. No matter who you are or what you have, it all will end one day. Therefore, live your life today the best you can! Thank you for your channel!

  • @lizzabbott
    @lizzabbott 4 дні тому

    That sweater looks so good on you. So cozy & relaxed … like the vibe of this channel ( well … imo the channel is also naturally vibrant , plus comforting & inspiring).

  • @gemox3225
    @gemox3225 Місяць тому +11

    The idea of a gratitude list is good. It's a kind of cognitive therapy.

  • @wadeharris6002
    @wadeharris6002 Місяць тому +2

    You are so right. I needed to hear this today. Had a sleepless night worrying about things I can’t control. Prayed all night for relief but didn’t come. I can’t seem to let go. I will get that book

  • @Oldhippiechickadventures
    @Oldhippiechickadventures Місяць тому +3

    Love everything you said, especially. That happiness is an inside job! So is everything, love, joy, etc. And Gratitude, genuine Gratitude in all things is the key to it all, it's a gift or a lesson. I'm 63, and I didn't learn it till terminal cancer showed its wonderful head, I'm now cured praise God❤, I'm grateful for it, I was scared at 1st however , it blessed me beyond measure

  • @justjane8452
    @justjane8452 День тому

    Listening to this a month after this was posted. You look incredible for 64. I’m the same age and really needed to hear this today. Thank you 🙏 🇬🇧

  • @ronaldmorgan7632
    @ronaldmorgan7632 Місяць тому +27

    It's been a lifelong habit of mine that when I think that I'm having selfish thoughts I scold myself. But dammit, now that I'm 67, I've realize that I deserve to do whatever I want, as long as I'm not hurting anyone.

    • @suzanneemerson2625
      @suzanneemerson2625 Місяць тому +3

      And sometimes, even if you ARE hurting them. One of the easiest ways to control a sensitive person is to say, “When you don’t do what I want, it really hurts me.” A very common way to CONTROL nice people. Learn to say no to anyone who wants you to always put their feelings above yours.

  • @debgilbert3206
    @debgilbert3206 24 дні тому +1

    I'm so glad you popped up on my feed. I'm 64 as well and agree 100% with everything stated. In a way it's very comforting to know we all come to the same conclusions regard life lessons learned.