Exercise: Ask yourself these questions and answer them truthfully. 1. Am I willing to face the truth about the situation? 2. Am I willing to let this person go? 3. Can I allow myself to feel the pain of losing this person?
I can say that I’ve personally dealt with this in my life, dwelling on old memories and “what I could’ve done differently” and creating fake scenarios of confident actions with said person in my head. It’s so good to hear your insight on the subject thank you!
Hey Evan, thank you for pointing out that limerence is not only bad for me, but also it's selfish and bad for the other person, because by limerence, we try to paint the other person with this fantasy, which of course that person will fail to fulfill, and if we ever have a relationship with that person, it just will never work out.
It also helps that you put your energy and creativity on something that has momentum in your life. Like improving yourself. Doing the thing that you like and getting generally better at your skills
I get limerence toward people who've hurt me really badly. I've had limerence towards bullies in school and abusive ex's. It's painful and shameful. It's also really confusing I just want to heal and take my power back. It really brings up so much shame
I know what you mean, I’ve struggled with that as well. The more I allowed myself to feel the pain of it, no matter how bad, is when I started to heal from it. I am confident you will overcome this, awareness really is the first step.
when i clicked on this video and watched the first few seconds i was sure that by your description i wasnt a limerent person like i thought first but then thank god i stayed and watched your video to the end and i have to admit that also for me every single point you have mentioned applies. we broke up about two moths ago but i still find myself fantasizing about what could have been if so and so. our future. but there is no us anymore. and at first i was fine with that but now just to cope with the pain fantasizing ans ruminating about him mede me feel better. but now i know continuing this pattern will get me nowhere and i have to face the reality. thank you for your advise and great explanation on this topic! wish you all the best for your channel too!
Thanks for the video, it has helped me alot to put a name on what I was experiencing, as well as the source(s) that help spawn this state of mind. Although I've been deeply in love with this woman and I had reciprocity, she wasn't available... Probably my low self-esteem allowed me to tolerate being the second choice and usually, this type of love triangles end up with many people suffering and one being left on the side of the road, which was me in this case. I've also had my part of responsibility in the situation ending this way and I can only be grateful for the story I lived and the lessons learned 🙏🏻
Definitely resonate with this message...i had experienced this a-lot more often when i was younger and even several times as ive got older, but not as much though since ive worked through my own childhood traumas...its great that you are bringing up topics that not many people are that aware off, this may well help a-lot of people who are going through this, but too ashamed to admit it due to some shame and fear of being ridiculed..as always keep up the great content.🙌🙌
Love this! Definitely been there. Louise her name was. One of my biggest life learning lessons. Be grateful for what you will learn if you are in this situation Your friend Paul from the Uk 🇬🇧
Limerence explains Dr. Joe Beam very well of Marriage Helper. There are stages of Limerence. It is basically an addiction of a person for a period of time.
I have this for s famous person, since I noticed him about 6 weeks ago, I don’t know how long it will last, it feels like it may last a while. I’m not fed up of it yet. It will run its course and fizzle out. Some last years, others just weeks, this one is the most intense enjoyable one I have had in many years.
Is it limerence if the person shown genuine interest in me, but I was too shy to respond? It was a genuine opportunity rather than an unrealistic fantasy. It turned into a fantasy once the opportunity passed.
Exercise:
Ask yourself these questions and answer them truthfully.
1. Am I willing to face the truth about the situation?
2. Am I willing to let this person go?
3. Can I allow myself to feel the pain of losing this person?
I can say that I’ve personally dealt with this in my life, dwelling on old memories and “what I could’ve done differently” and creating fake scenarios of confident actions with said person in my head. It’s so good to hear your insight on the subject thank you!
We have all been there brother 🙂
Hey Evan, thank you for pointing out that limerence is not only bad for me, but also it's selfish and bad for the other person, because by limerence, we try to paint the other person with this fantasy, which of course that person will fail to fulfill, and if we ever have a relationship with that person, it just will never work out.
Talk about synchronicity! I needed to watch this today. Thank you so much for taking the time to make this video. It really helped me.
It also helps that you put your energy and creativity on something that has momentum in your life. Like improving yourself. Doing the thing that you like and getting generally better at your skills
Yes, that’s an important one
I get limerence toward people who've hurt me really badly. I've had limerence towards bullies in school and abusive ex's. It's painful and shameful. It's also really confusing I just want to heal and take my power back. It really brings up so much shame
I know what you mean, I’ve struggled with that as well. The more I allowed myself to feel the pain of it, no matter how bad, is when I started to heal from it. I am confident you will overcome this, awareness really is the first step.
Me too. It's a daily struggle. Very painful
5:51 true brother
when i clicked on this video and watched the first few seconds i was sure that by your description i wasnt a limerent person like i thought first but then thank god i stayed and watched your video to the end and i have to admit that also for me every single point you have mentioned applies. we broke up about two moths ago but i still find myself fantasizing about what could have been if so and so. our future. but there is no us anymore. and at first i was fine with that but now just to cope with the pain fantasizing ans ruminating about him mede me feel better. but now i know continuing this pattern will get me nowhere and i have to face the reality. thank you for your advise and great explanation on this topic! wish you all the best for your channel too!
Yes, the sooner you can break the pattern, the better! Thanks for watching.
Thanks for the video, it has helped me alot to put a name on what I was experiencing, as well as the source(s) that help spawn this state of mind. Although I've been deeply in love with this woman and I had reciprocity, she wasn't available... Probably my low self-esteem allowed me to tolerate being the second choice and usually, this type of love triangles end up with many people suffering and one being left on the side of the road, which was me in this case. I've also had my part of responsibility in the situation ending this way and I can only be grateful for the story I lived and the lessons learned 🙏🏻
We all have to go through it at some point :)
Definitely resonate with this message...i had experienced this a-lot more often when i was younger and even several times as ive got older, but not as much though since ive worked through my own childhood traumas...its great that you are bringing up topics that not many people are that aware off, this may well help a-lot of people who are going through this, but too ashamed to admit it due to some shame and fear of being ridiculed..as always keep up the great content.🙌🙌
Thanks for sharing brother and thank you for watching!
Thank you for your helpful insight on limerence. My mind is calm from this.
Love this! Definitely been there. Louise her name was. One of my biggest life learning lessons. Be grateful for what you will learn if you are in this situation
Your friend Paul from the Uk 🇬🇧
Hello mate 😃
Great video as always. Keep up the great work of covering things that can really help people cope with their problems...
Thanks for joining me Phil 🙌🏼
Limerence explains Dr. Joe Beam very well of Marriage Helper. There are stages of Limerence. It is basically an addiction of a person for a period of time.
I had this ruin a important relationship in my life once upon a time I learned from this video kinda crazy
I have this for s famous person, since I noticed him about 6 weeks ago, I don’t know how long it will last, it feels like it may last a while. I’m not fed up of it yet. It will run its course and fizzle out. Some last years, others just weeks, this one is the most intense enjoyable one I have had in many years.
I’m going thru this right now 😢
Thank you ❤️
Thankyou for this video
Is it limerence if the person shown genuine interest in me, but I was too shy to respond? It was a genuine opportunity rather than an unrealistic fantasy. It turned into a fantasy once the opportunity passed.
good video, hate the unnecessary background music.
Good 👍.
What if I am limerant over an ex that I was with for many years and have a lot of history with. And I feel like I messed up. Is that the same thing?
I'm a dreamer.
Yeah I believe if I had somebody else I wouldn't be limerent about my ex. It's not love, it's a mirage
Exactly. Sometimes when we meet someone new it can cause the limerence to run out.
Yes but how do we know the healthy way to feel when 2 ppl like each other.
5:25-5:30: lol very good looking dude gets rejected by a dudette who looks like a "5" NOT very realistic situation in the real WORLD 😅😅
Lol standards today are crazy my friend, I am never surprised
It is realistic actually, if the guy is percieved as not confident. Key word "percieved"
Omg I’m delulu …….🥲 this video made me realise so much
Great video Evan, that brings a lot of clarity for me.