Someone tried to take me when I was 17, and I ran into a trailer park and hid under the skirt of a trailer as I watched him driving his car slowly around the park, looking for me for two hours. I stayed under the trailer for 5 hours before I dared to come out when I ran home through backyards, avoiding the roads. No one believed me when I told the adults around me because we lived in a small town and had never had that experience. This was in the early 1970s, and I still don't have relationships with my family because they didn't believe in me when I was terrified. On the other hand, that experience gave me the gift of the site, the best gift anyone could ask for.
@@qwertykeypad8992 I said the gift of sight, meaning that I can now see things before they happen and for others as well. However, it's not really a gift since I believe everyone has it, but for some reason, trauma ignited it for me.
I COULD NOT stop listening to this very insightful and mind blowing interview.. THANK YOU. I am a new subscriber and happened upon this video. There are so many things I still need to learn in life. These are all gems. thank you both. Also. on one of the last statements Mel made.. I break eye contact and I agree it is def due to my ADHD. I don't do it intentionally either. Oddly enough, I am also a sales analyst which forces me/my mind to be detail oriented. All of this was fascinating. Loved the chin grab and the good to know!
Take aways: 1) Good to know…. 2) Steepling… 3) Elbow pop… Thank you Mel!! I’m learning so many great techniques and tools from you!!! The 5 second rule, high giving myself, sooo much more! You’re fabulous!! By the way, I’m 71 and I am having a new life adventure because of you!!❤
What stuck out for me (or maybe what I needed to hear most) was the story about the bees and the flies. I've been dancing in and out of a relationship for 10 years with a fly constantly hoping that he would become a bee. While we have enjoyed some wonderful times together doing things out in the world, our inner world has been really impacted by my bee-ness trying to survive his fly-ness. It has been draining. When she said that bees don't try to convince flies to like honey, it landed over here like a big AHA! That's what I've been trying to do. I come from a family of flies so no surprise 1. that i chose a fly and 2. that I made up/hoped that I had been switched at birth well into my 30's. lol I am strong, powerful, insightful, generous, giving adn a stand for all people to live their greatness. Those are the seeds I'm planting. Thanks, Mel. Thanks, Janine. Thanks, HP./Universe/Spirit. This was just what I needed to hear today.
Great episode! Yesterday I implemented one of tricks with my 5 year old!! She was agitated during our sleep routine and bothering my other kid. I told her that I know she is respectful and a good person, that her teachers always say that about her, she agreed and so I told her that because of that she was going respect our sleep routine. It worked!!!! Thank you Janine and Mel!
I feel like I need to watch this every day for about a month. This was such a beautiful, inspiring interview that touched on so much more than just body language. Janine is my new favorite person! She is so insightful and caring that she brought me to tears. ❤
I agree it is a gut feeling I’ve found everything I felt was right. But it took for me to b put on meds from post partum blues n the flags were there I chose to blieve in my husband wen I was right all along. It’s been quite a 3 decades n some from phyc meds to breakdowns to being committed to my children against me ect. I’m 62 now n decided 2 years ago to get off this cocktails of meds suffering n going thru withdrawals ect suicidal I’m finally out of the coma bout a month or so ago n I’m standing up for myself I’m not letting everyone control me it’s caused such a shocker. Nobody likes me but I’m not people pleasing anymore this is my life n I’m gonna b happy I dint need their approval. Anyways I stumbled apon ur utube n fiend it fascinating I think I could write a book too. I also was sexual abused at the age of 5 by my cousin n my sister. She was older then me n just wanted to b with them. She should of protected me. Ect love what u gals r doing from methuen ma no Boston well good for u gals. Need a job haven’t worked since children I am very good learner or set me up with book order😂 18:53 18:53
It is not just the gut, it is our sixth sense, as well, our 'extended mind' like when we turn around and someone is looking straight at us and we felt it, without even consciously realising why we turned. Our survival depends on these things. It's also reading bodies, that refines it, when people are being deceptive it does confuse our senses, so seeing the flags of possible deception with our mind and feeling the gut reaction combine. Now we have to take care in the boardroom not just the jungle ;)
This was incredible, one of my new favorite episodes. I’ll need to rewatch to get everything she said at top speed 😂 but I loved her and of course Mel ❤
@@danachauvin9056make m maybe maybe knkmkn and mand kcan ncan maybe 🤔 m🤔 m🤔 kThe The Last mLast night mwe mwe kids n me knnkmmkknmmknkmmmkmkmkmmkmkkmmkkmmmmmkkmmkmmkmkkmmmmmkmmkmmmmmmomkmmmkmkmmmmmmmmmmommmmmmkkmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkmommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmommmo
Thank you both for this amazing conversation. I've learned so much and here are some of the takeaways I wanna share: 10:23 You plant pumpkin seeds, what does it grow? Pumpkins. You plant tomato seeds, what does it grow? Tomatoes. People get what they grow, they get what they plant. 13:30 We're not teaching emotional intelligence at schools sadly. Signs for stress/lying through pacifying gestures: rubbing eyes, touching necks, thighs, lips,... Emotional intelligence includes self-awareness, social awareness, self-adaptation, and motivating others 21:40 Shoulder shrug = uncertainty. The root of the tree: what do you believe? Trunk: body language (comes 5 sec before thoughts). Branches: thoughts. Leaves: words. This means you have a 5-second advantage to know how they feel before their brain knows how they feel. Your words plant the next seed, it create what's coming next 25:25 When you don't like what you see, your lips disappear.
Thanks for recapping that list for us. I think that would be a funny thing to put on a t-shirt the part about ... when you don't like what you, see your lips disappear! ... LOL
My biggest take aways are.. first that I have been in in company of two truly great women and I feel honoured. There is hope for me to get better at communicating. Beauty is gracious and kind and wanting the best for people. After all that I need to listen several times so I retain as much as I can. Thank you so much.
Mel, there isn't a day that I don't listen to you. I am a survivor of severe domestic violence, addiction/ and many more obstacles. I listen to you so I can learn all the tools I need to make it through day by day and continue to make right choices. Your podcast is a gift, I wish you knew how much of a gift you and all yours have been and continue to be everyday. I heard a saying one time, "Every sinner has a future and every Saint has a past". Thank you Mel so much. Kati
What I learned… I saw Janine‘s Ted talk yesterday and I was impressed by how flawless and confident and professional Janine is. I happened to find this interview today. What I loved from this interview was the stinking thinking, and how it can happen to all of us. This was eye-opening. Thank you.
You know, I could be wrong, but when Mel closed her eyes several times, I had to wonder what she was actually feeling when she said she loved me. That's good to know, Mel. 😂😂 These are my 3 things. Seriously though, this is one of my favorite talks. Thank you, Healer!
I have a short attention span and typically don't watch long videos all the way through and contemplating stopping and finishing later. Buuuut...I found myself smiling throughout and enjoyed every minute. First time here Mel and you are great..You gained a new follower!
That head patting or flipping hair..I have not done that in forever. In my 20's yes but not in many decades. I have mastered being very still, taking my time..lots of time to answer questions.(it is strategic to maintain control of the conversation). Works every time! Why...just why can't people be honest? I'm a straight shooter.. folks kinda don't like that.
I definitely want to add that i completely felt it when Janine said she is too much for some people because I, too, am too much for some people. I like the "good to know" and will definitely use it! Thanks again ❤
Lol I'm also a member of the ADD club talk a mile a minute and like she said my text I give the key points at the beginning. Also yeah into astrology (gemini aka sign of communication etc) doctors use to be REQUIRED to study ASTROLOGY to treat patients True FACT!❤ PL&L
I loved this interview! I listened to 3/4 of it on the podcast but then rewatched it all on UA-cam. I really loved the Tony Stark posture analogy. I can teach this to my kids. As well as rephrasing “you’re addicted to computer games!” The “Good to Know” was great too!!! I recently cut someone out of my life. If it wasn’t all about her she’d just look away & get distant. She was warm (not hot) & would gradually get cold in her treatment of me. Something I learned recently was that “Ego has to be the best & worst at everything” - this was her. She would only talk to me if no one else she knew better was around - literally walk off & talk to her best friend when they turned up. But the final straw was when I was going thru a really stressful time; it involved an incident at school where my 6yo daughter was hiding behind a tree whilst sticks & stones were being thrown at her & when I would talk about it, she would look away whilst I was talking & it felt like she was rolling her eyes & thinking “oh god, her she goes again!” So now I avoid her, unfriended on facebook. I am no longer the “benchwarmer” in her life but I am civilised & have said hello when I see her & I keep walking.
Sarah! Thank you twice for listening first in the podcast then starting over and watching the whole thing here on UA-cam. Wow! And yes definitely teach all that stuff to your kids sister! xo, Janine
idk about “unfriending” ppl on fb I think that looks a bit dramatic. Maybe I might “mute” them. “Cutting someone out of your life” is a pretty intense way to handle someone who just isn’t interested in you. Maybe she doesn’t have kids, or maybe she doesn’t want to discuss heavy, upsetting things at social occasions? Also, you said you brought the thing up that happened to your daughter _multiple_ times? That’s too much dawg. Why on earth would you be bringing up something so personal and so heavy to someone you barely have a relationship with? *yikes*
@@memidiane38 you sound like one of those people who announces that you don’t want any more drama- when *_you_* are the drama 🙄 A considerate, mature person would just move on and not waste their energy, or maybe even take the hint that they are making ppl uncomfortable or being boring. Maybe adjust your own behavior and not bring up your kid’s trauma multiple times to an acquaintance, who might even have a history of being bullied in her own life, or might just not know how to discuss something _so heavy_ with a chick who clearly needs to be the center of attention and probably lacks empathy. That’s histrionic behavior, and it’s evidence that she probably makes everything all about her, and it also indicates to me that her kid is likely not getting the support she needs either. Everyone is probably too busy walking on eggshells around mom. Get over yourself.
Mel, thanks for sharing this! Never heard of Janine Driver until today and I’m blown away with the amount of information she shared with us. When folks tell me they don’t like me bc I’m too much, I’ll be sure to respond with “that’s good to know!”
THIS CONVERSATION WAS LIFE CHANGING, I WILL BE REWATCHING THIS OVER AND OVER AND IMPLEMENT IT. 😊 Their is so much and I'm so grateful Mel to you and your team, you have all changed my life! Yes for the Better!!! :)
Thank you! Mel. Never seen her, just Wow. I very much can relate to her. I'm also obsessed with human behaviors. Helps me a lot in my profession... I'm a teacher. It's true, most of my coworkers are clueless in knowing the simple lies and manipulation. On the other hand, many can.
Hi dear! I started following you as a part of my journey to learn English to improve my vocabulary.. I just wanted to say that I genuinely enjoyed listening your videos and today’s guest literally blow my mind!
I want to listen to the two of you giving advice to our your best life for days and days and repeat every 3 months. You May different and have in mine today that will last tomorrow!! I love you each ❤️
OMG, I loved this. Thank you both! What I loved most? 1) Steepling: I lose my trend of thought when I try to talk over someone who is interrupting me and continue to talk while trying to finish a point. Then it feels like arguing and I feel foolish. Steepling will work for me; I can't wait to try it. 2) Good to know. Criticism can be constructive and that's when it really is good to know. When it's a put-down the 'good to know' response waves them away without the hand gesture. For the record, I've never waved anyone away. I'm more like the deer in the headlight. NO MORE! 3) The Story Behind the Story. Our experiences shape who we become. No, it doesn't justify but it does explain. The story behind the story taps into our compassionate or empathetic side. 4&5) Thirty Percent Off Center and 5) Right Eye to Right Eye will be useful in interviews. Mel, I was in such a bad funk since ruminating over a betrayal that became painfully obvious at a Christmas party and then getting sick with COVID, I couldn't shake it. I started doing the high-five in the mirror a couple of weeks ago and the shift was instantaneous. And the end of this video brought me to tears. Happy tears. Thank you. I love you too.
I caution people using the "are you ok" question because I've had it used on me in a very passive-aggressive way. Similar to when someone tells you to calm down. Because I wasn't not okay until I was questioned four times in a row. I loved this podcast and got a lot out of it too. I love you Mel as well. I am learning so much and reading your 5 second book.
Mel, this episode was AMAZING! I met with a fitness instructor today and immediately upon greeting him I shook his hand as confidently as I could. When the conversation was over, I ended it the same way. Super empowering. Also, during our conversation, I was focusing on his and mine (of course) body’s language. He even told me I seemed very confident( although I was slightly nervous 😫) because I was asking questions and making sure I knew what I was signing up for. To sum it up, I signed up to begin a new fitness journey to begin living a healthier and physically better lifestyle. Listening to this episode today, really changed how I handled today’s confrontation. I couldn’t have done it without you guys. THANK YOU! Really, I mean it. 🙏🏼❤️
I have to watch this episode again to get the content. I was just hypnotized by Janine`s confidence, energy and her rapid talking sounded like music in my ears :)
Ya'll need to stop using your brains and start using your heart going into relationships. Go into each interaction with an open and kind heart and watch your life unfold as a miracle.
Great energy. Love the tangent thoughts as she rushes through every second of her life, detailed in the first 10 minutes! I cracked up when she’s talking a million miles an hour about her career development, and interjects, “my son, who is 17 and 6’1” was a baby”, and keeps on talking without missing a beat.
Oh my goodness this session was fantastic! Please bring her back. I want to learn more to understand others around me. I had so many take always, “the story behind the story”, the pirámide, the right eye 👁️ on right eye 👁️, “good to know”. It was a fireworks 💥 of knowledge and insight. Thanks 🙏
High energy or highly neurotic. I like how Mel was calm the whole time. I think Good to Know was like yeah, I hear yah, and is this interview going to be over soon?? Ok, harsh, there were some good points. Truth out!
Thank you Mel for what you do. You are an amazing woman. I love your books and podcast. I'm so grateful Mel to you and Janine. I'll replay this episode again
I loved this interview about body language and Janine shared so much, I need to watch it again and make notes. I am really interested in learning more about this fascinating subject. Talking about body language Mel, why are you sitting with your arms spread on the table? I have never seen anyone doing this before, just out of curiosity. 😊Thank you for sharing Janine with us Mel 🙏
This episode is so informative. I started listening to the podcast and had to switch to UA-cam. Good job Mel, your choice of guests shows how you truly care about your listeners. Thank you
I was fascinated by, and riveted to, everything Janine spoke about! Thank you Mel for this very inspiring episode. I loved how quickly Janine speaks because my mind was with her every word, and she did not waste one of them!
I have been going through a recent break up. I was in this relationship for 5 years and this specific podcast opened my eyes and really made me understand my moving on, is the best gift i could have given to my future self. I just love you Mel. You have helped me so much just in the passed week, i listen to you everyday and just adore you. I admire you reaching out to specialists who profess in different skills to help everyone understand and grow to be the best version of themselves. 🎉 ❤❤❤❤
What a great guest! And be confident about your pace of speech, I think it's beautiful! I personally listened to this video at 3.4 times the speed with the video speed controller extension for chrome because that is my preferred listening speed and I listen to videos at this speed all day long while I work. I love it. :)
I'm watching this for the 2nd time and I can't believe how much I never "heard" or absorbed. I have always been fascinated by human nature - I had no idea how to learn more about it. It became my secret. I was never diagnosed with ADHD (and OCD) until age 68. I'm 69 and I feel like I'll never be get beyond the damage I've experienced. I love learning. It hasn't been easy in any sense of the word. I'll remember parts of this and I'll forget quite a bit. This was empowering and it taught me a few things that I can use. I can't help but think that if I had been diagnosed and treated when I was a child. I've never been successful at anything. And how do you charge me voices in my head telling me that I' don't matter and for some reason I deserve this hell. Why do I even think that way? I know it's doing the opposite of what I need. I'm medicated now but it's only a part of the puzzle. I'm learning if you don't have support or financial stability it's going to be another hard road to follow. Will I ever catch a break and just feel like I'm good enough right now. It's been a lifetime of never being understood or validated for anything I did do well. I mean literally no one ever suggested that I might even have a learning disability... I knew that I did and it didn't matter. I don't like feeling sorry for myself. Someone always has worse and I should be focusing on the things that I do well. I can't seem to be able to find the help that I truly need to grow beyond this. I'm so angry and I've been grieving the person that I could have been. I don't want to hyperfocus on the negatives. I'm giving myself space to grieve and move on. You both are helping people and society to see beyond what we see, hear, and think. We are so much more than our combined experiences. I'm able to see that and look beyond appearances and facades. In essence we all need to be loved and accepted by at least one person. Yeah, I can't express what I'm trying to say. Do some people have ADHD so severely that they'll never know peace ⁉️ 🥺 I hear people say they were diagnosed late in life. Most have 20 yrs or more years on me. My life cycle that is left is maybe 20 yrs. I mean seriously 🥴🤦♀️ is this some type of joke ⁉️ 😆🤣🙄
Unless you're brain damaged, or retarded, you're not learning disabled. It's that you learn in unconventional ways when compared to others, but you learn and you're quite intelligent, based on just your writings here. Adhd, disability, or whatever they say it is, is just a label someone else put on you that you latched onto. It isn't real. Actually, it's only as real as you believe it be. If you loved the info that was intruduced on Mel's show, I can tell you where to find the source material that much of it comes from. There are a pair of authors by the name of Richard Bandler and John Grinder. They wrote a series of books that break down communication into a process. The unconscious parts, as was discussed on Mel's show, is much deeper than you can imagine. Let's call that the neurological response. Then there's language. Words have meaning beyond anything you can imagine. Why do you pick and use the words you do? What unconscious impact do they have on you and others? What difference do you detect in your body when you use the words "I want to..." vrs when you say "I have to..." they create 2 different mental & physical states. Lastly, all of these things interlock. They are a programmed part of your mental and physical being, like the programing of a computer. Like computers, the addage, " garbage in, garbage out", it very true. These books teach you how to see,, hear, and understand the programming, as well as how to reprogram the computer. Your own, as well as that of others. Read these books in the order that I list them and you can change your world and heal yourself and others in ways you could never imagine. The books are transcripts of lectures give to psychologists. They're easy to read and empowering beyond belief. I recommend you read each book once Strait through, without stopping to try the exercises he suggests. Then reread the book slowly and do every exercise. This way your learning will be deeper and you'll remember far more of the info. The books are... 1) Frogs Into Princes... 2) The Structure of Magic 1... 3) The Structure of Magic 2...... 4) Reframing. All by Bandler And Grinder (pronounced Gren-der) the subject matter is the field of Neurolinguistic Programming, or NLP. There are many books on the subject by their students, but they are the founders of the science. Side note: the world famous motivational speaker Tony Robbins was one of their students.
@cm22454 "Adhd, disability, or whatever they say it is, is just a label someone else put on you that you latched onto. It isn't real. Actually, it's only as real as you believe it be. " This may or may not be true, depending on the person. But to diagnose someone with such a blanket override of a mental health issue.. that's irresponsible. Especially just based on that person's brief description of their life struggles. Adult ADHD is often subtle, but it causes MUCH self-sabotage which keeps you from accomplishing important goals you've set for yourself. The ADHD person doesn't understand why, and blames themselves constantly that they just need more self-discipline... which is reinforced by ignorant people around them, albeit innocently sometimes. You might have meant well. Or maybe.. you're trying to sell the resources you mentioned ?? The resources appear to be beneficial. But without a highly-structured plan to read them AND accountability to someone or something that is respected (e.g., boss at work.. school teacher.. family member), then ADHD people will buy the books, and they'll sit on the shelf for a LONG time, before they're utilized.. if ever ! I speak from personal experience, and refused to see the ADHD warning signs for a LONG time, thinking that it was just an excuse for my "laziness" & "tardiness". But to be aware.. that's one of the first steps to attempting successful treatment. You're suggesting the opposite, to deny deny deny.
Negative thinking begats more negative thinking. I have ADHD and OCD as well, and I’m a ruminator. I have intrusive thoughts and they are always the worst possible images, the worst possible thoughts. It’s hard to accept a life that you truly feel like could’ve been more. I think what’s important is to focus on what’s important for you NOW. Create something to help you process the grief, attach it to something and let it go. It’s ok to be angry, but you can’t hold on to that anger. The book _The four agreements_ helped me a lot. Learning about the Enneagram helps me a lot. I like to listen to audiobooks while I’m doing a task with my hands, like dishes or something. Heck, maybe you could go around to community groups and educate people on what adult adhd looks like, especially women bc it looks different in women and we tend to really beat ourselves up about failure, I bet you could offer some relief to people. The fact is, at your age it becomes less and less likely that someone will have the intellectual humility necessary to accept a paradigm change like you have. That’s a superpower. Maybe you can help others in some way, maybe you can monetize it. Maybe you’re just better for it? I will say, you need to seek out relief. I know it’s hard to do but think of yourself as a ticking bomb, you’ll hurt the ones you love if you don’t turn that dial back. You need to laugh. Seek out opportunities to laugh, try as much as you can to find humor and joy and gratitude, and seek out guides on how to cultivate those things. Help is out there. I’ve been watching these younguns on UA-cam talking about adhd tips and tricks and they’ve actually really helped me. Best of luck to you. 🩵🩵🩵
You need to be loved and accepted by YOU. Don’t look outside yourself for validation. You are worth loving you. See yourself as a little girl and hold her in your heart. Talk nice to her and love and protect her.
I'm so sorry for your years that you were undiagnosed and I know that you have to feel cheated at the very least because I had Dyslexia when I was in 1st grade I was having difficulty with wanting to write my letters upside down and backwards and reading was obviously made very difficult but because of phonics and my love of reading I think it was what literally saved me because if you don't enjoy reading, you will probably not have a desire to really learn and overcoming the dyslexia could be a nightmare I'm sure because I was not diagnosed until almost end of 2nd grade. There was a tragic accident that occured to me and my cousin on Christmas Eve day during Christmas break where a large solid rock fireplace and slab of rock mantel collapsed out of the wall onto my cousin and myself, trapping us under the debris and causing many serious injuries, broken bones with compound fractures, crushed pelvis and broken femur between the two of us but we were really lucky not to have been hit in the chest or head, neck area or it would probably have caused fatal injuries in that case. This happened in the first grade and after being in the hospital for a while then rehab and when I returned to school I had to be in a wheelchair for a long while so this set me back in school to say the least. Second grade went to a private school for bogus reasons it turned out but that was not easy and my father was killed that year in February so I really went through it. I wish that I would have been held back in first grade after the accident and maybe my school years wouldn't have been so agonizing up until I was in the 6th grade probably. I didn't get any treatment, went to a private tutor for reading and math until 4th grade for math but reading became much better by 3rd grade but I really always felt inadequate until highschool and then I excelled while in college and nursing school. Try and get some counseling if you are still having any bitterness because that's really a traumatic thing not to be diagnosed. My son is ADD and he did great when placed on medication in 2nd grade and he is thriving now.
All I can say is I'm a wordy woman who speaks way to fast and I'm freaking speechless this hour and 28 min has reinforced .. validated , and changed so many moments for me past present and future you have no idea u have just been key to helping me reinvent what the world has tossed away physically emotionally and spiritually ...bi do believe I have just realized hue unbalkancec the three things have been in my life ..I absolutely am In love w all the things you spoke of my mind is racing w all the people in my life and placing them into changed categories ... My father who recently passed IS MY HERO. I saw him in my head a doing each of these key moments you spoke of you are amazing and I love that you speak so fast because ...you keep my brains pace !! I can't wait to listen to more of your shows but I do believe I will listen to this one quite possibly weekly thank you for being who you are and doing what you have done w gods blessings and the weight of the world ! your amazing I can't wait to unleash my new found validated confidence and know!ege on the world ..#knoeledeisempowerment#empowermentfreedome#. #freedomeispeace#. #Peaceisbeingwhole# #beingwholeselflove# thank you !!BE BLESSED ❤
I LOVED every second of it! Worth taking notes and pausing once in a while just to let it sink in:) So much energy, power but also kindness and softness. THANK U both!❤❤
But i hit send to fast and forgot to tell you thank you for being so awesome wonderful and amazing! This is a life changing video for me and im so grateful i stumbled across it. This is the best❤
Im not even 6 minutes into this episode Mel; and you have no idea as a 28 year old women, how much I relate to her story. You look devastated as you listen to her say those words, and I feel almost insulted that you couldnt imagine it that way. Life is crazy and I appreciate you so much. I have been watching you since before 5,4,3,2,1.. to the high five habit and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you learning and growing as the person you are; but empowering the younger generations like me to believe in themselves. thank you and I love you is all I can say after my trauma-dump-praise-throwup to you.
Oh, I loved every minute of this podcast. Janine has changed the way I'll ever look at people again. I wish I had learned some of her tips while I was still working. It would have helped me (and the children I worked with) immensely. Thanks to both of you, Mel and Janine!🙂♥
Watching from the Philippines, this is such an amazing podcast. I absolutely learn a lot about body language which some of it I'm doing unconsciously 😅 . I love your work here M.
You're thanking people that stuck around until the end?? No way. Thank YOU!! Are you kidding me? I can't get enough of this Suman. I can listen to you 24/7 aka 24 hours a day, but I need to go put into practice what I've learned. Thank you!! ❤
FANTASTIC !!!!!!!!! Mel, this came up today (11/10/23). This was THE BEST interview I have ever watched - for several reasons. I needed this so much. I will rewatch this over and over. This was meant to be. THANK YOU, MEL, AND, JANINE.
I was 7. Went with an aunt to run errands but she left me in the jeep (no locks). I got out of the car to play in the small play area where you can see our car. Then, I saw this boy maybe about 17-19 approaching the playground. Something about the way he was looking at me told me to run. I ran as fast as I could and entered one of the establishments which was an office and there was some of a meeting. I did not care, stayed behind the glass double doors until I saw my aunt heading to the car. That's when I bolted out running and screaming my aunt's name. As we drove away, the boy smiled at me and unzipped his pants. I will never forget that day. To this day, I am highly sensitive about body language and social cues. I'm mostly right about people .
Hello, Your video is very interesting. I am a member of the deaf community in the uk. I by myself am defend with severe hearing loss. We using sign language which includes NMF (non manual features), all hand signs are combined with facial, body and moving expressions. We additionally try to catch lip reading( which is very difficult) The result is that all deaf people seem staring at you or each another. This is a must. I say deaf people are the best listeners as we give you 100% of our attention and are highly focused to get the information in a conversation. Deaf people are highly sensitive and can read people very well. I don't actually need really your advice as there is only a true conversation possible as you can not sign without emotional action. It would change the meaning of the sign you using. E.g. never mind and can't be bothered is the same sign but with the difference that in the first meaning the eyebrows going up with the shoulder flinching and the mouth making pft. Can't be bothered has the tongue between the lips with puffed cheeks ,highly raised shoulders and eyebrows found. You understand. And in both cases the upper body goes a bit back. I am talking about BSL not ASL. We are brilliant reading faces and body language as it is essential for just talking for us. Just saying. You might be intrigued looking in to this... You tips are really good...
I am hearing impaired. I wear hearing aids in both ears. And I keep my eyes on the person as well. I am watching the whole body. Using everything I can to keep up with the conversation.
This is fascinating. Thank you for sharing. I want to share a story with you. I was at a Starbucks sitting at a table by myself doing some graphics work on my computer. I was facing a table of three men. One was signing and one was interpreting for the third. I'll keep it simple. The man signing was pitching a story for film he was working on ... a story with deaf actors. The brother was translating and the third man was responding and the brother would then sign ... a translator. Starbucks was so noisy with blenders, dishes banging, people placing orders ... it was chaos. After about an hour of this and as the three got up to leave, the hearing-impaired person glanced at me on his way out. I smiled at him and thought wow he must not know what an advantage he had over that conversation to not have to hear the shrill metallic background noise. His brother on the other hand looked all stressed out. I wish I knew how to sign.
I learned to read body language as a child for survival. Then I went to school to learn more. People think I’m psychic, but I am simply reading people, often subconsciously
Hi Mel my name is Irene, watching from East Africa Kenya, and I gotta say of all the Podcast I have ever listened to this is my FAVORITE its practical and doable, like you don't need some internalizing or some technical implementation, its straight forward. I Love You!
I Truly Loved Loved Loved the talk!! Thank you Mel, Thank you Janine and Thank you Janine for mentioning Audrey's book!! I truly appreciate you sharing your time with us to better ourselves ❤❤❤
I’m in love with both of these women!! I’ve been screaming exactly what she calls out, instead of ‘don’t’ call out what you want, hugest frustration with the ‘don’t bully’ BS in elementary schools, bullying has increased since this program started
I have the same experiences or similar experiences. I am always intuitive and get the vibes and body language of others. I can read someone's personality by watching their facial expressions and body language!
Most people can tell when someone is lying, it's no secret. It's whether you are comfortable within yourself to get rid of that person in your life. " we want to be liked " very important quote. Like yourself first.
Excellent segment. Enormously insightful! I am aware of the behavior of a man touching his head when lying or uncertain. I have an acute awareness to human behavior due to abuse. I never heard of Janine prior to this segment but I am a new follower now. Thank you, Janine and Mel for such a great podcast segment.
More like this!! What an awesome episode...empowerment, moments to pause and self reflect and FUN! You're awesome as always Mel and your guest today blew me away. Thank you for all of the amazing content you share with all of us❤
Every single time I look for a Mel podcast, you ALWAYS come up with something SO appropriate for exactly what I need. You are a wonder woman and as for Janine - WOW WOW WOW! I want to absorb all this information. It is literally LIFE CHANGING! I'm old but still curious and learning. Thank you SO much, Mel, I feel you are MY friend and I love YOU!!
Haha l love this podcast. I have never heard someone talk so much and I have never seen Mel almost speechless 😂. Fantastic podcast. Please have Janine back on the show but than without her being in a hurry. You two are amazing
Someone tried to take me when I was 17, and I ran into a trailer park and hid under the skirt of a trailer as I watched him driving his car slowly around the park, looking for me for two hours. I stayed under the trailer for 5 hours before I dared to come out when I ran home through backyards, avoiding the roads. No one believed me when I told the adults around me because we lived in a small town and had never had that experience. This was in the early 1970s, and I still don't have relationships with my family because they didn't believe in me when I was terrified. On the other hand, that experience gave me the gift of the site, the best gift anyone could ask for.
Im glad your still here you were a brave kid back then to know things other kids might of not picked up on it.
Which gift?
@@qwertykeypad8992 I said the gift of sight, meaning that I can now see things before they happen and for others as well. However, it's not really a gift since I believe everyone has it, but for some reason, trauma ignited it for me.
I COULD NOT stop listening to this very insightful and mind blowing interview.. THANK YOU. I am a new subscriber and happened upon this video. There are so many things I still need to learn in life. These are all gems. thank you both. Also. on one of the last statements Mel made.. I break eye contact and I agree it is def due to my ADHD. I don't do it intentionally either. Oddly enough, I am also a sales analyst which forces me/my mind to be detail oriented. All of this was fascinating. Loved the chin grab and the good to know!
Take aways: 1) Good to know…. 2) Steepling… 3) Elbow pop…
Thank you Mel!! I’m learning so many great techniques and tools from you!!! The 5 second rule, high giving myself, sooo much more!
You’re fabulous!! By the way, I’m 71 and I am having a new life adventure because of you!!❤
That’s awesome 😎🫶🏽💯💯💯💯 #goals
I love the elbow pop. I saw a friend do it a few years ago and I was impressed that I started emulating it bc I knew it was a confidence thing
This is so awesome❤ good for you!
You go! ❤
Agreed! 🙂👍
What stuck out for me (or maybe what I needed to hear most) was the story about the bees and the flies. I've been dancing in and out of a relationship for 10 years with a fly constantly hoping that he would become a bee. While we have enjoyed some wonderful times together doing things out in the world, our inner world has been really impacted by my bee-ness trying to survive his fly-ness. It has been draining. When she said that bees don't try to convince flies to like honey, it landed over here like a big AHA! That's what I've been trying to do. I come from a family of flies so no surprise 1. that i chose a fly and 2. that I made up/hoped that I had been switched at birth well into my 30's. lol I am strong, powerful, insightful, generous, giving adn a stand for all people to live their greatness. Those are the seeds I'm planting. Thanks, Mel. Thanks, Janine. Thanks, HP./Universe/Spirit. This was just what I needed to hear today.
And it's important to recognize the other side of that. He has been tremendously steadfast and flexible, generous with his time and count-on-able..
Man this hit hard on me too! 8 years and one child and I'm finally done wasting my Life with this fly!
So ditto!!
@@standforgreatnessi appreciated that reminder to always seek the good of each individual
Great episode! Yesterday I implemented one of tricks with my 5 year old!! She was agitated during our sleep routine and bothering my other kid. I told her that I know she is respectful and a good person, that her teachers always say that about her, she agreed and so I told her that because of that she was going respect our sleep routine. It worked!!!! Thank you Janine and Mel!
Lol I'm going to try that w my 8 yr old tonight
I feel like I need to watch this every day for about a month. This was such a beautiful, inspiring interview that touched on so much more than just body language. Janine is my new favorite person! She is so insightful and caring that she brought me to tears. ❤
Omg I have watched this before my HR review and I rewatch it when I have meeting important meeting and interview and I talks too much
I think this helps explain “gut feelings”. We subconsciously register the truth but can’t explain why or how.
Nowadays we are being told we have a second brain, inside our core, where our 'gut feelings' and intuition come from.
I agree it is a gut feeling I’ve found everything I felt was right. But it took for me to b put on meds from post partum blues n the flags were there I chose to blieve in my husband wen I was right all along. It’s been quite a 3 decades n some from phyc meds to breakdowns to being committed to my children against me ect. I’m 62 now n decided 2 years ago to get off this cocktails of meds suffering n going thru withdrawals ect suicidal I’m finally out of the coma bout a month or so ago n I’m standing up for myself I’m not letting everyone control me it’s caused such a shocker. Nobody likes me but I’m not people pleasing anymore this is my life n I’m gonna b happy I dint need their approval. Anyways I stumbled apon ur utube n fiend it fascinating I think I could write a book too. I also was sexual abused at the age of 5 by my cousin n my sister. She was older then me n just wanted to b with them. She should of protected me. Ect love what u gals r doing from methuen ma no Boston well good for u gals. Need a job haven’t worked since children I am very good learner or set me up with book order😂 18:53 18:53
The gut always knows. Love and light🙏🏼🕊👼🏼✨🍀🧿
That's the Holy Spirit. 😊. God doesn't lie.
It is not just the gut, it is our sixth sense, as well, our 'extended mind' like when we turn around and someone is looking straight at us and we felt it, without even consciously realising why we turned. Our survival depends on these things. It's also reading bodies, that refines it, when people are being deceptive it does confuse our senses, so seeing the flags of possible deception with our mind and feeling the gut reaction combine. Now we have to take care in the boardroom not just the jungle ;)
This was incredible, one of my new favorite episodes. I’ll need to rewatch to get everything she said at top speed 😂 but I loved her and of course Mel ❤
This was your best yet, Mel. Thank you for having Janine on & thanks to Janine for sharing such powerful information with us all.
Wow Trish! Thank you for such incredible kindness about your thoughts about my segment with Mel! It means a lot to me! You rock sister! xo, Janine
@@TheRealJanineDriver❤
@@danachauvin9056make m maybe maybe knkmkn and mand kcan ncan maybe 🤔 m🤔 m🤔 kThe The Last mLast night mwe mwe kids n me knnkmmkknmmknkmmmkmkmkmmkmkkmmkkmmmmmkkmmkmmkmkkmmmmmkmmkmmmmmmomkmmmkmkmmmmmmmmmmommmmmmkkmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkmommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmommmo
My thoughts exactly - simply, amazing.
My thoughts exactly - simply, amazing.
Thank you both for this amazing conversation. I've learned so much and here are some of the takeaways I wanna share: 10:23 You plant pumpkin seeds, what does it grow? Pumpkins. You plant tomato seeds, what does it grow? Tomatoes. People get what they grow, they get what they plant. 13:30 We're not teaching emotional intelligence at schools sadly. Signs for stress/lying through pacifying gestures: rubbing eyes, touching necks, thighs, lips,... Emotional intelligence includes self-awareness, social awareness, self-adaptation, and motivating others 21:40 Shoulder shrug = uncertainty. The root of the tree: what do you believe? Trunk: body language (comes 5 sec before thoughts). Branches: thoughts. Leaves: words. This means you have a 5-second advantage to know how they feel before their brain knows how they feel. Your words plant the next seed, it create what's coming next 25:25 When you don't like what you see, your lips disappear.
Thanks for recapping that list for us. I think that would be a funny thing to put on a t-shirt the part about ... when you don't like what you, see your lips disappear! ... LOL
My biggest take aways are.. first that I have been in in company of two truly great women and I feel honoured. There is hope for me to get better at communicating. Beauty is gracious and kind and wanting the best for people. After all that I need to listen several times so I retain as much as I can. Thank you so much.
When I read your comment tears pricked my eyes...I appreciate and agree with your gracious comment ❤️
Mel, there isn't a day that I don't listen to you. I am a survivor of severe domestic violence, addiction/ and many more obstacles. I listen to you so I can learn all the tools I need to make it through day by day and continue to make right choices. Your podcast is a gift, I wish you knew how much of a gift you and all yours have been and continue to be everyday. I heard a saying one time, "Every sinner has a future and every Saint has a past". Thank you Mel so much. Kati
You learn from others, there is no sinner,there is contrasts. People are making wrong desisions every day. Watch Next Level Soul.
In the world today, Janine's empathy along with yours, Mel, truly is a superpower.
Engaging and gracious 😊
What I learned… I saw Janine‘s Ted talk yesterday and I was impressed by how flawless and confident and professional Janine is. I happened to find this interview today. What I loved from this interview was the stinking thinking, and how it can happen to all of us. This was eye-opening. Thank you.
This episode was 🔥Mindblown. The combo of you 2 powerhouses was atomic. More please. And thank you for paving the way for my come-back.❤
Brilliant!
😅
😊great 😅❤❤
Phew!!!!!
Agree more of this
You know, I could be wrong, but when Mel closed her eyes several times, I had to wonder what she was actually feeling when she said she loved me. That's good to know, Mel. 😂😂 These are my 3 things. Seriously though, this is one of my favorite talks. Thank you, Healer!
I have a short attention span and typically don't watch long videos all the way through and contemplating stopping and finishing later. Buuuut...I found myself smiling throughout and enjoyed every minute. First time here Mel and you are great..You gained a new follower!
That head patting or flipping hair..I have not done that in forever. In my 20's yes but not in many decades. I have mastered being very still, taking my time..lots of time to answer questions.(it is strategic to maintain control of the conversation). Works every time! Why...just why can't people be honest? I'm a straight shooter.. folks kinda don't like that.
I definitely want to add that i completely felt it when Janine said she is too much for some people because I, too, am too much for some people. I like the "good to know" and will definitely use it! Thanks again ❤
I learnt so much from this beautiful lady Janine Driver. Very inspiring i love it thank you
Holy Moly. She is overwhelming.. Fast talker. Too much info to process. So smart. Gotta get her book. Gotta get the Quinn book. Grazie, Mel
Lol I'm also a member of the ADD club talk a mile a minute and like she said my text I give the key points at the beginning. Also yeah into astrology (gemini aka sign of communication etc) doctors use to be REQUIRED to study ASTROLOGY to treat patients True FACT!❤ PL&L
This was awesome! Please have her back on! I learned sooooooo much that I was not aware of! Thanks Mel! ❤🙂
I loved this interview! I listened to 3/4 of it on the podcast but then rewatched it all on UA-cam.
I really loved the Tony Stark posture analogy. I can teach this to my kids. As well as rephrasing “you’re addicted to computer games!” The “Good to Know” was great too!!!
I recently cut someone out of my life. If it wasn’t all about her she’d just look away & get distant. She was warm (not hot) & would gradually get cold in her treatment of me. Something I learned recently was that “Ego has to be the best & worst at everything” - this was her. She would only talk to me if no one else she knew better was around - literally walk off & talk to her best friend when they turned up. But the final straw was when I was going thru a really stressful time; it involved an incident at school where my 6yo daughter was hiding behind a tree whilst sticks & stones were being thrown at her & when I would talk about it, she would look away whilst I was talking & it felt like she was rolling her eyes & thinking “oh god, her she goes again!” So now I avoid her, unfriended on facebook. I am no longer the “benchwarmer” in her life but I am civilised & have said hello when I see her & I keep walking.
Sarah! Thank you twice for listening first in the podcast then starting over and watching the whole thing here on UA-cam. Wow! And yes definitely teach all that stuff to your kids sister! xo, Janine
Good job, Sarah.
idk about “unfriending” ppl on fb I think that looks a bit dramatic. Maybe I might “mute” them. “Cutting someone out of your life” is a pretty intense way to handle someone who just isn’t interested in you. Maybe she doesn’t have kids, or maybe she doesn’t want to discuss heavy, upsetting things at social occasions? Also, you said you brought the thing up that happened to your daughter _multiple_ times? That’s too much dawg. Why on earth would you be bringing up something so personal and so heavy to someone you barely have a relationship with? *yikes*
@@rainbomggirl bye! She did what is best for her. Out of sight, out of mind. Block, unfriend, delete and move forward.
@@memidiane38 you sound like one of those people who announces that you don’t want any more drama- when *_you_* are the drama 🙄
A considerate, mature person would just move on and not waste their energy, or maybe even take the hint that they are making ppl uncomfortable or being boring. Maybe adjust your own behavior and not bring up your kid’s trauma multiple times to an acquaintance, who might even have a history of being bullied in her own life, or might just not know how to discuss something _so heavy_ with a chick who clearly needs to be the center of attention and probably lacks empathy. That’s histrionic behavior, and it’s evidence that she probably makes everything all about her, and it also indicates to me that her kid is likely not getting the support she needs either. Everyone is probably too busy walking on eggshells around mom.
Get over yourself.
Mel, thanks for sharing this! Never heard of Janine Driver until today and I’m blown away with the amount of information she shared with us. When folks tell me they don’t like me bc I’m too much, I’ll be sure to respond with “that’s good to know!”
THIS CONVERSATION WAS LIFE CHANGING, I WILL BE REWATCHING THIS OVER AND OVER AND IMPLEMENT IT. 😊 Their is so much and I'm so grateful Mel to you and your team, you have all changed my life! Yes for the Better!!! :)
same
🤗
Same I am so interested intrigued with everything I can relate, you two are inspirational
Will always look for help and guidance in❤
Agreed ❤
Same...
Yes, This was life-changing, I will watch again & again! Where there’s life, there’s hope, right? Never too late to start over! Thank-you, BOTH!
Thank you! Mel. Never seen her, just Wow. I very much can relate to her. I'm also obsessed with human behaviors. Helps me a lot in my profession... I'm a teacher. It's true, most of my coworkers are clueless in knowing the simple lies and manipulation. On the other hand, many can.
This is such an empowering conversation. I am already identifying things I do right and the things I want to change.
Me too great information ❤
A lesson in manipulation ;) - get what you want ;)
Sleuthing ;)
I love listening to Janine!
I like how you said “things I do right” instead of “wrong”. :)
Hi dear!
I started following you as a part of my journey to learn English to improve my vocabulary.. I just wanted to say that I genuinely enjoyed listening your videos and today’s guest literally blow my mind!
I want to listen to the two of you giving advice to our your best life for days and days and repeat every 3 months. You May different and have in mine today that will last tomorrow!! I love you each ❤️
OMG, I loved this. Thank you both! What I loved most? 1) Steepling: I lose my trend of thought when I try to talk over someone who is interrupting me and continue to talk while trying to finish a point. Then it feels like arguing and I feel foolish. Steepling will work for me; I can't wait to try it. 2) Good to know. Criticism can be constructive and that's when it really is good to know. When it's a put-down the 'good to know' response waves them away without the hand gesture. For the record, I've never waved anyone away. I'm more like the deer in the headlight. NO MORE! 3) The Story Behind the Story. Our experiences shape who we become. No, it doesn't justify but it does explain. The story behind the story taps into our compassionate or empathetic side. 4&5) Thirty Percent Off Center and 5) Right Eye to Right Eye will be useful in interviews.
Mel, I was in such a bad funk since ruminating over a betrayal that became painfully obvious at a Christmas party and then getting sick with COVID, I couldn't shake it. I started doing the high-five in the mirror a couple of weeks ago and the shift was instantaneous. And the end of this video brought me to tears. Happy tears. Thank you. I love you too.
I caution people using the "are you ok" question because I've had it used on me in a very passive-aggressive way. Similar to when someone tells you to calm down. Because I wasn't not okay until I was questioned four times in a row. I loved this podcast and got a lot out of it too. I love you Mel as well. I am learning so much and reading your 5 second book.
I love Janine! She's so sparky and spontanous...I could follow her thanks to the transcription 😂 but I took notes 😊
Mel, this episode was AMAZING! I met with a fitness instructor today and immediately upon greeting him I shook his hand as confidently as I could. When the conversation was over, I ended it the same way. Super empowering.
Also, during our conversation, I was focusing on his and mine (of course) body’s language. He even told me I seemed very confident( although I was slightly nervous 😫) because I was asking questions and making sure I knew what I was signing up for.
To sum it up, I signed up to begin a new fitness journey to begin living a healthier and physically better lifestyle. Listening to this episode today, really changed how I handled today’s confrontation. I couldn’t have done it without you guys. THANK YOU! Really, I mean it. 🙏🏼❤️
I have to watch this episode again to get the content. I was just hypnotized by Janine`s confidence, energy and her rapid talking sounded like music in my ears :)
Ya'll need to stop using your brains and start using your heart going into relationships. Go into each interaction with an open and kind heart and watch your life unfold as a miracle.
Great energy. Love the tangent thoughts as she rushes through every second of her life, detailed in the first 10 minutes! I cracked up when she’s talking a million miles an hour about her career development, and interjects, “my son, who is 17 and 6’1” was a baby”, and keeps on talking without missing a beat.
Oh my goodness this session was fantastic! Please bring her back. I want to learn more to understand others around me. I had so many take always, “the story behind the story”, the pirámide, the right eye 👁️ on right eye 👁️, “good to know”. It was a fireworks 💥 of knowledge and insight. Thanks 🙏
High energy or highly neurotic. I like how Mel was calm the whole time. I think Good to Know was like yeah, I hear yah, and is this interview going to be over soon?? Ok, harsh, there were some good points. Truth out!
Thank you Mel for what you do. You are an amazing woman. I love your books and podcast. I'm so grateful Mel to you and Janine. I'll replay this episode again
I just remember my Wonderful Father used to steeple. He was a kind and gentle Leader.
I loved this interview about body language and Janine shared so much, I need to watch it again and make notes. I am really interested in learning more about this fascinating subject. Talking about body language Mel, why are you sitting with your arms spread on the table? I have never seen anyone doing this before, just out of curiosity. 😊Thank you for sharing Janine with us Mel 🙏
This episode is so informative. I started listening to the podcast and had to switch to UA-cam. Good job Mel, your choice of guests shows how you truly care about your listeners. Thank you
Me too!
Me too!
Same!
I truly enjoyed this show ~! So much I can relate too but didn’t realize I always look right eye to right eye. I lean back to get comfortable.
I was fascinated by, and riveted to, everything Janine spoke about! Thank you Mel for this very inspiring episode. I loved how quickly Janine speaks because my mind was with her every word, and she did not waste one of them!
I have been going through a recent break up. I was in this relationship for 5 years and this specific podcast opened my eyes and really made me understand my moving on, is the best gift i could have given to my future self. I just love you Mel. You have helped me so much just in the passed week, i listen to you everyday and just adore you. I admire you reaching out to specialists who profess in different skills to help everyone understand and grow to be the best version of themselves. 🎉 ❤❤❤❤
PLEASE HAVE HER ON AGAIN FOR MORE!!!!!!!!!
What a great guest! And be confident about your pace of speech, I think it's beautiful! I personally listened to this video at 3.4 times the speed with the video speed controller extension for chrome because that is my preferred listening speed and I listen to videos at this speed all day long while I work. I love it. :)
I'm watching this for the 2nd time and I can't believe how much I never "heard" or absorbed. I have always been fascinated by human nature - I had no idea how to learn more about it. It became my secret.
I was never diagnosed with ADHD (and OCD) until age 68. I'm 69 and I feel like I'll never be get beyond the damage I've experienced. I love learning. It hasn't been easy in any sense of the word. I'll remember parts of this and I'll forget quite a bit. This was empowering and it taught me a few things that I can use. I can't help but think that if I had been diagnosed and treated when I was a child. I've never been successful at anything. And how do you charge me voices in my head telling me that I' don't matter and for some reason I deserve this hell. Why do I even think that way? I know it's doing the opposite of what I need. I'm medicated now but it's only a part of the puzzle. I'm learning if you don't have support or financial stability it's going to be another hard road to follow. Will I ever catch a break and just feel like I'm good enough right now. It's been a lifetime of never being understood or validated for anything I did do well. I mean literally no one ever suggested that I might even have a learning disability... I knew that I did and it didn't matter. I don't like feeling sorry for myself. Someone always has worse and I should be focusing on the things that I do well. I can't seem to be able to find the help that I truly need to grow beyond this. I'm so angry and I've been grieving the person that I could have been. I don't want to hyperfocus on the negatives. I'm giving myself space to grieve and move on. You both are helping people and society to see beyond what we see, hear, and think. We are so much more than our combined experiences. I'm able to see that and look beyond appearances and facades. In essence we all need to be loved and accepted by at least one person. Yeah, I can't express what I'm trying to say. Do some people have ADHD so severely that they'll never know peace ⁉️ 🥺 I hear people say they were diagnosed late in life. Most have 20 yrs or more years on me. My life cycle that is left is maybe 20 yrs. I mean seriously 🥴🤦♀️ is this some type of joke ⁉️ 😆🤣🙄
Unless you're brain damaged, or retarded, you're not learning disabled. It's that you learn in unconventional ways when compared to others, but you learn and you're quite intelligent, based on just your writings here. Adhd, disability, or whatever they say it is, is just a label someone else put on you that you latched onto. It isn't real. Actually, it's only as real as you believe it be. If you loved the info that was intruduced on Mel's show, I can tell you where to find the source material that much of it comes from. There are a pair of authors by the name of Richard Bandler and John Grinder. They wrote a series of books that break down communication into a process. The unconscious parts, as was discussed on Mel's show, is much deeper than you can imagine. Let's call that the neurological response. Then there's language. Words have meaning beyond anything you can imagine. Why do you pick and use the words you do? What unconscious impact do they have on you and others? What difference do you detect in your body when you use the words "I want to..." vrs when you say "I have to..." they create 2 different mental & physical states. Lastly, all of these things interlock. They are a programmed part of your mental and physical being, like the programing of a computer. Like computers, the addage, " garbage in, garbage out", it very true. These books teach you how to see,, hear, and understand the programming, as well as how to reprogram the computer. Your own, as well as that of others. Read these books in the order that I list them and you can change your world and heal yourself and others in ways you could never imagine. The books are transcripts of lectures give to psychologists. They're easy to read and empowering beyond belief. I recommend you read each book once Strait through, without stopping to try the exercises he suggests. Then reread the book slowly and do every exercise. This way your learning will be deeper and you'll remember far more of the info. The books are... 1) Frogs Into Princes... 2) The Structure of Magic 1... 3) The Structure of Magic 2......
4) Reframing.
All by Bandler And Grinder (pronounced Gren-der) the subject matter is the field of Neurolinguistic Programming, or NLP. There are many books on the subject by their students, but they are the founders of the science. Side note: the world famous motivational speaker Tony Robbins was one of their students.
@cm22454
"Adhd, disability, or whatever they say it is, is just a label someone else put on you that you latched onto. It isn't real. Actually, it's only as real as you believe it be. "
This may or may not be true, depending on the person.
But to diagnose someone with such a blanket override of a mental health issue.. that's irresponsible. Especially just based on that person's brief description of their life struggles.
Adult ADHD is often subtle, but it causes MUCH self-sabotage which keeps you from accomplishing important goals you've set for yourself.
The ADHD person doesn't understand why, and blames themselves constantly that they just need more self-discipline... which is reinforced by ignorant people around them, albeit innocently sometimes.
You might have meant well. Or maybe.. you're trying to sell the resources you mentioned ??
The resources appear to be beneficial. But without a highly-structured plan to read them AND accountability to someone or something that is respected (e.g., boss at work.. school teacher.. family member), then ADHD people will buy the books, and they'll sit on the shelf for a LONG time, before they're utilized.. if ever !
I speak from personal experience, and refused to see the ADHD warning signs for a LONG time, thinking that it was just an excuse for my "laziness" & "tardiness".
But to be aware.. that's one of the first steps to attempting successful treatment. You're suggesting the opposite, to deny deny deny.
Negative thinking begats more negative thinking. I have ADHD and OCD as well, and I’m a ruminator. I have intrusive thoughts and they are always the worst possible images, the worst possible thoughts. It’s hard to accept a life that you truly feel like could’ve been more. I think what’s important is to focus on what’s important for you NOW. Create something to help you process the grief, attach it to something and let it go. It’s ok to be angry, but you can’t hold on to that anger.
The book _The four agreements_ helped me a lot. Learning about the Enneagram helps me a lot. I like to listen to audiobooks while I’m doing a task with my hands, like dishes or something.
Heck, maybe you could go around to community groups and educate people on what adult adhd looks like, especially women bc it looks different in women and we tend to really beat ourselves up about failure, I bet you could offer some relief to people.
The fact is, at your age it becomes less and less likely that someone will have the intellectual humility necessary to accept a paradigm change like you have. That’s a superpower. Maybe you can help others in some way, maybe you can monetize it. Maybe you’re just better for it? I will say, you need to seek out relief. I know it’s hard to do but think of yourself as a ticking bomb, you’ll hurt the ones you love if you don’t turn that dial back. You need to laugh. Seek out opportunities to laugh, try as much as you can to find humor and joy and gratitude, and seek out guides on how to cultivate those things.
Help is out there. I’ve been watching these younguns on UA-cam talking about adhd tips and tricks and they’ve actually really helped me.
Best of luck to you. 🩵🩵🩵
You need to be loved and accepted by YOU. Don’t look outside yourself for validation. You are worth loving you.
See yourself as a little girl and hold her in your heart. Talk nice to her and love and protect her.
I'm so sorry for your years that you were undiagnosed and I know that you have to feel cheated at the very least because I had Dyslexia when I was in 1st grade I was having difficulty with wanting to write my letters upside down and backwards and reading was obviously made very difficult but because of phonics and my love of reading I think it was what literally saved me because if you don't enjoy reading, you will probably not have a desire to really learn and overcoming the dyslexia could be a nightmare I'm sure because I was not diagnosed until almost end of 2nd grade. There was a tragic accident that occured to me and my cousin on Christmas Eve day during Christmas break where a large solid rock fireplace and slab of rock mantel collapsed out of the wall onto my cousin and myself, trapping us under the debris and causing many serious injuries, broken bones with compound fractures, crushed pelvis and broken femur between the two of us but we were really lucky not to have been hit in the chest or head, neck area or it would probably have caused fatal injuries in that case. This happened in the first grade and after being in the hospital for a while then rehab and when I returned to school I had to be in a wheelchair for a long while so this set me back in school to say the least. Second grade went to a private school for bogus reasons it turned out but that was not easy and my father was killed that year in February so I really went through it. I wish that I would have been held back in first grade after the accident and maybe my school years wouldn't have been so agonizing up until I was in the 6th grade probably. I didn't get any treatment, went to a private tutor for reading and math until 4th grade for math but reading became much better by 3rd grade but I really always felt inadequate until highschool and then I excelled while in college and nursing school. Try and get some counseling if you are still having any bitterness because that's really a traumatic thing not to be diagnosed. My son is ADD and he did great when placed on medication in 2nd grade and he is thriving now.
All I can say is I'm a wordy woman who speaks way to fast and I'm freaking speechless this hour and 28 min has reinforced .. validated , and changed so many moments for me past present and future you have no idea u have just been key to helping me reinvent what the world has tossed away physically emotionally and spiritually ...bi do believe I have just realized hue unbalkancec the three things have been in my life ..I absolutely am In love w all the things you spoke of my mind is racing w all the people in my life and placing them into changed categories ... My father who recently passed IS MY HERO. I saw him in my head a doing each of these key moments you spoke of you are amazing and I love that you speak so fast because ...you keep my brains pace !! I can't wait to listen to more of your shows but I do believe I will listen to this one quite possibly weekly thank you for being who you are and doing what you have done w gods blessings and the weight of the world ! your amazing I can't wait to unleash my new found validated confidence and know!ege on the world ..#knoeledeisempowerment#empowermentfreedome#. #freedomeispeace#. #Peaceisbeingwhole# #beingwholeselflove# thank you !!BE BLESSED ❤
I LOVED every second of it! Worth taking notes and pausing once in a while just to let it sink in:) So much energy, power but also kindness and softness. THANK U both!❤❤
But i hit send to fast and forgot to tell you thank you for being so awesome wonderful and amazing! This is a life changing video for me and im so grateful i stumbled across it. This is the best❤
Im not even 6 minutes into this episode Mel; and you have no idea as a 28 year old women, how much I relate to her story. You look devastated as you listen to her say those words, and I feel almost insulted that you couldnt imagine it that way. Life is crazy and I appreciate you so much. I have been watching you since before 5,4,3,2,1.. to the high five habit and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you learning and growing as the person you are; but empowering the younger generations like me to believe in themselves. thank you and I love you is all I can say after my trauma-dump-praise-throwup to you.
Compelling stuff delivered at 100mph! Absolutely brilliant.
Oh, I loved every minute of this podcast. Janine has changed the way I'll ever look at people again. I wish I had learned some of her tips while I was still working. It would have helped me (and the children I worked with) immensely. Thanks to both of you, Mel and Janine!🙂♥
Watching from the Philippines, this is such an amazing podcast. I absolutely learn a lot about body language which some of it I'm doing unconsciously 😅 . I love your work here M.
I want to learn ALL of this! I am an empath, so my intuitive perception of others is always "on," well, at least I thought it was....
Loved the energy and transparency. Some eye openers and good to knows, for real
That was GREAT!
“Good to know.” That’s a perfect comeback line. I will be using it! ❤
You're thanking people that stuck around until the end?? No way. Thank YOU!!
Are you kidding me? I can't get enough of this Suman. I can listen to you 24/7 aka 24 hours a day, but I need to go put into practice what I've learned.
Thank you!! ❤
FANTASTIC !!!!!!!!! Mel, this came up today (11/10/23). This was THE BEST interview I have ever watched - for several reasons. I needed this so much. I will rewatch this over and over. This was meant to be. THANK YOU, MEL, AND, JANINE.
Amen ❤❤
Thank you Mel Robbin’s for putting the right guests in front of us today. This is just what I needed!
I love you Mel❤
This is my favorite guest so far . I learned soooo much thank you Mel for all that you do to inform us
i learned so many things, it's impossible to name just a couple/few. That woman was fabulous. She poured so much into "us" i'm SO THANKFUL.
Thank you, Mel! I will definitely be re-watching this episode. "Good to know." My new favorite comeback. ❤
I was 7. Went with an aunt to run errands but she left me in the jeep (no locks). I got out of the car to play in the small play area where you can see our car. Then, I saw this boy maybe about 17-19 approaching the playground. Something about the way he was looking at me told me to run. I ran as fast as I could and entered one of the establishments which was an office and there was some of a meeting. I did not care, stayed behind the glass double doors until I saw my aunt heading to the car. That's when I bolted out running and screaming my aunt's name. As we drove away, the boy smiled at me and unzipped his pants. I will never forget that day.
To this day, I am highly sensitive about body language and social cues. I'm mostly right about people .
Hello, Your video is very interesting. I am a member of the deaf community in the uk. I by myself am defend with severe hearing loss.
We using sign language which includes NMF (non manual features), all hand signs are combined with facial, body and moving expressions. We additionally try to catch lip reading( which is very difficult) The result is that all deaf people seem staring at you or each another. This is a must. I say deaf people are the best listeners as we give you 100% of our attention and are highly focused to get the information in a conversation. Deaf people are highly sensitive and can read people very well. I don't actually need really your advice as there is only a true conversation possible as you can not sign without emotional action. It would change the meaning of the sign you using. E.g. never mind and can't be bothered is the same sign but with the difference that in the first meaning the eyebrows going up with the shoulder flinching and the mouth making pft. Can't be bothered has the tongue between the lips with puffed cheeks ,highly raised shoulders and eyebrows found. You understand.
And in both cases the upper body goes a bit back. I am talking about BSL not ASL.
We are brilliant reading faces and body language as it is essential for just talking for us. Just saying. You might be intrigued looking in to this...
You tips are really good...
I am hearing impaired. I wear hearing aids in both ears. And I keep my eyes on the person as well. I am watching the whole body. Using everything I can to keep up with the conversation.
This is fascinating. Thank you for sharing. I want to share a story with you. I was at a Starbucks sitting at a table by myself doing some graphics work on my computer. I was facing a table of three men. One was signing and one was interpreting for the third. I'll keep it simple. The man signing was pitching a story for film he was working on ... a story with deaf actors. The brother was translating and the third man was responding and the brother would then sign ... a translator. Starbucks was so noisy with blenders, dishes banging, people placing orders ... it was chaos. After about an hour of this and as the three got up to leave, the hearing-impaired person glanced at me on his way out. I smiled at him and thought wow he must not know what an advantage he had over that conversation to not have to hear the shrill metallic background noise. His brother on the other hand looked all stressed out. I wish I knew how to sign.
Thank you! I LOVE YOU!
Wow. This was so powerful and motivating. What an energy this woman has! I’ve never even heard of her before-amazing
Thanks so much I'm very focused & watching I've learned many as things 💯
Wow so powerful- tell people that they are what you want them to be and believe it because they will then become that!
That was a LOT of info in a short time! I’m obsessed with this woman! This vid got saved to my “Life Changing!” Folder on YT!
This is the most interesting and intriguing conversation I've ever heard. I love it! Thank you, Mel and Janine!
Great interview! I loved the steeple ing, the “good to know” and the elbow pop!
Who is this woman - she is amazing!
Love the part where she instills positivity through traits, especially for your own children.
Oh my goodness- I love this conversation!! Packed with great information!!
I learned to read body language as a child for survival. Then I went to school to learn more. People think I’m psychic, but I am simply reading people, often subconsciously
❤
I love using the steeple. 🙏
Very smart for a child to have to do that as a child. I find you very intelligent for you to do so.Rather than fold up.😉
Unstable or insecure parents often bring this out in kids.
What did you study?
51:02 was a wow moment! The importance of balance!
Her story about a bully boss was eyes opening. I wish I heard it 7 straight out of college. It could have saved me a lot of worries
I am so happy Mel that I discovered your Channel today! I love your energy.
This is my gig !
Love the True Crime genre ❤and Body language
Getting my notebook ready
Ladies you are both awesome
I am impressed the things that I learned here
Thank you
Hi Mel my name is Irene, watching from East Africa Kenya, and I gotta say of all the Podcast I have ever listened to this is my FAVORITE its practical and doable, like you don't need some internalizing or some technical implementation, its straight forward. I Love You!
Boy, oh boy this was really educational and also inspiring to listen to this interview. Bless you.
I loved this whole talk! I have that I am quiet but listening body language
I Truly Loved Loved Loved the talk!! Thank you Mel, Thank you Janine and Thank you Janine for mentioning Audrey's book!! I truly appreciate you sharing your time with us to better ourselves ❤❤❤
Really enjoyable , thank you.
Thank you Both !!
I’m in love with both of these women!!
I’ve been screaming exactly what she calls out, instead of ‘don’t’ call out what you want, hugest frustration with the ‘don’t bully’ BS in elementary schools, bullying has increased since this program started
I have the same experiences or similar experiences. I am always intuitive and get the vibes and body language of others. I can read someone's personality by watching their facial expressions and body language!
Most people can tell when someone is lying, it's no secret. It's whether you are comfortable within yourself to get rid of that person in your life. " we want to be liked " very important quote. Like yourself first.
Excellent segment. Enormously insightful! I am aware of the behavior of a man touching his head when lying or uncertain. I have an acute awareness to human behavior due to abuse. I never heard of Janine prior to this segment but I am a new follower now. Thank you, Janine and Mel for such a great podcast segment.
Long but informative, entertaining, and super interesting. Thx.
Omg, Mel, I LOVE your podcasts! They are incredible! Thank you for providing all this info for free!
Great interview ! I will use it for a hearing take away for life good to know
More like this!! What an awesome episode...empowerment, moments to pause and self reflect and FUN! You're awesome as always Mel and your guest today blew me away. Thank you for all of the amazing content you share with all of us❤
This was incredible!! Thank you. I love how Janine said, “rewrite our story. We all deserve a comeback!”
Two inspirational women!! I loved this podcast with all the valuable content. Thank you both so much 🙌💜💫😘😘
Every single time I look for a Mel podcast, you ALWAYS come up with something SO appropriate for exactly what I need. You are a wonder woman and as for Janine - WOW WOW WOW! I want to absorb all this information. It is literally LIFE CHANGING! I'm old but still curious and learning. Thank you SO much, Mel, I feel you are MY friend and I love YOU!!
I'm so incredibly grateful to you both. I like many others weren't taught this. Thank you both!!
Haha l love this podcast. I have never heard someone talk so much and I have never seen Mel almost speechless 😂. Fantastic podcast. Please have Janine back on the show but than without her being in a hurry. You two are amazing