Why You Don’t Feel Connected to Your Baby | Kate Borsato
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
- Why You Don’t Feel Connected to Your Baby | Did you know that it's actually quite common to feel disconnected from your baby for a little while? We think that we're going to be madly in love right out of the gate, but that's just not always the case, and I talk about why in this video. And just so you know, it's okay if you don't feel that connected to your baby right now, this can change, the love can grow :)
Did you think you were the only one not totally in love with motherhood or your new baby?
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Were you surprised that you didn't feel connected to your baby either during pregnancy or postpartum?? Let me know below!
I was a teen mom, very selfcentered. I naturally cared only about myself and I felt cold towards my child.
I have a history of childhood abuse mostly by males, so when I had a son it made me very uncomfortable, so much so that I opted to bottle feed instead of breast feed. I felt uncomfortable when my son would touch me or want to be close with me, due to no fault of his own.
And I felt like a terrible mom because all he ever wanted was my love. Years later I'm still trying to be the mom he deserves and fight through this for him. I now give hugs, and cuddle and kisses, but because of our history he is now uncomfortable with affection from me. And I miss it. Ironic.
But, it's good to know I'm not alone. Motherhood didnt come natural, I have to force it everyday and that's okay because I love him.
Yep I blame birth trauma and a c section, then he was a nicu baby so I didn’t get skin to skin and all the bonding stuff, I didn’t have the energy to go see my baby until the day after. Then the guilt and being a single mother even though dad was there and in the picture. Then not having the best relationship with my mother and having trauma during childhood, whew… that’s a lot😢 let’s not even talk about postpartum and the baby blues 🙄. That’s a lot
I am in the same position my baby was a in nicu for 3 months 😢 I made a video on my channel because I finally got through it and still working through it
Dad here. I am looking for help on these videos.
My wife and I had our son almost 4 weeks ago. She is definitely dealing with some postpartum, according to her doctor. Today she told me her and our baby had no bond. He clearly knows who she is though, because when we’re in bed together, he just glares at her. It’s adorable.
But I’m just a guy trying to figure out how best to help, and unable to feel what she does, I am looking for any help!
@@WilliamPhillips-og4be just make sure she's eating, soups, salads, and smoothies (no junk or quick stuff,) bad food makes it worse, so make sure she's taking her vitamins, I would even ask the doctor if she can take some Vitrex berry (Amazon) it helps with hormone balance or ask the Dr what he would recommend if anything. they just try to put you on antidepressants in my opinion. But look into maybe natural herbs for hormone imbalance that's all postpartum is really. Start taking walks (say the baby needs sun) and give her enough time for self-care. She'll be okay. Remind her babies aren't great communicators the obvious sign of a bond come a little later. Good luck
I’m not a mother and don’t plan to be one. I’m grown, 34, and my mother never connected with me and still doesn’t. It’s a very lonely place and probably why I suck at dating and relationships and have no desire for kids. To all the moms here being honest with themselves and taken steps to change. Thank you!! Because that lack of connection is a huge hole in my soul. If I didn’t have a few good older women in my life I know I would have become very promiscuous because that’s the example my mother set and I was looking to fill that void. Instead I turned to food and weed. I’m way better now but it took a long time to get here. I cut my mother off years ago.
My son is 18 months old and I still struggle with this close connection with him. I really struggled with this when I was pregnant and in the newborn period. Of course I loved him but due to PPD, I regretted having him in general. I was really struggling and wish I had the village and support that I needed.
My first two, I felt the instant euphoric connection and knowing. It was the third baby that I didn't experience that with. I wanted to, but it just wasn't there. He was extremely fussy.. compared to his brothers who were much more chill and easily comforted. I felt like we were strangers who had to get to know each other. He wouldn't snuggle into me, he didn't want any of my attempts to comfort him.. but when the bond DID start to grow a couple months in, it was intense. He is my precious, adorable sour patch kid. I learned that it was his personality that made him reject comfort attempts (when he is upset, he wants to be left alone).
I have a different experience- after the birth of my second I felt this huge disconnect with my oldest.
My baby is 6 month old now, I love her but I don’t think she loves me back 😞 she clearly doesn’t have connection with me. She loves her nanny very much though. I feel very sad and helpless…
Does she spend more time with the nanny than you?
Thank you for this video. I did feel an instant bond with my baby when they placed her on my chest, but soon medical complications and severe colic erased that, and while I love her tremendously I just feel as though I don’t know my baby and she doesn’t know me. It makes me very sad.
Hi how are you doing today? Is the bond getting better between you and your baby?
3 weeks post partum and experiencing this and panicking 😩
Hi Hannah, how is it feeling now? I hope you're finding that the bond and connection can build with time, this is totally normal. I hope you reach out for a therapist if you need more support!
Thank you for posting this….10000 likes on this one! I subscribed and look forward to watching more of your amazing videos 💯
I’m not a mother yet but am getting my MSW right now and very interested in working with this population. This was a fantastic video! I’ve subscribed and I’m looking forward to checking out more of your videos!
I loooove this video. Thank you so much!
Omg I can't thank you enough for this video!!!!
You're so welcome!
❤ Thank you
I m in anger...my child doesn't look like me....the whole world says that ur baby just looking like ur husband....days passes...my baby enjoys grand mother complete....he just came to me for feeding.... thats why I feel disconnected with my child
it is not ur fault and it is not ur babys fault . dont listen to people comment on ur baby's appearance or how it looks like the father. a mother connection to the child will always be more intimate and important than ANYTHING else.
Thank you for this video
so glad it's helpful.
3 weeks in and I've already felt like my baby must hate me. Smiles at others and not me. I can't make milk anymore, so I am going to stop trying. I feel like a failure. Like she doesn't want me. Oh well I guess. I just feel bad that she got me as a failure of a mother.
I feel the same way 😢 it’s heart wrenching. I’m so sorry.
I feel the same way 😢 it’s heart wrenching. I’m so sorry.
I feel the same way 😢 it’s heart wrenching. I’m so sorry.
I feel the same way 😢 it’s heart wrenching. I’m so sorry.
I feel the same way 😢 it’s heart wrenching. I’m so sorry.