We have our first winners for the DOAC raffle! We'll be sending out the prizes and all the information shortly. If you want to take part in this raffle, all you have to do is subscribe to this channel. The raffle continues! If you’re subscribed, you’re in the raffle! Best of luck! x
What is the raffle? Sex. I married someone I did not like sex with thinking he wouldn’t control me. He stole my home mortgage in short $500,000.00 plus equity. If we had good sex I may have known better. I was being grifted
@@MelissaFortunesame hon, same 😢😢😢 So so sad. I would have LOVED to win something in this, however I did assume that since there are over 6 million subscribers, I was absolutely not gonna win anything 😂😂😂 Here’s to us next time, hey?!? ❤❤❤🧚♀️🧚♀️🧚♀️🙏🙏🙏
I actually wouldn't mind forgoing the cash and the audience experience. The 10-minute call helps me a lot more. You are such an awesome interview host.
She is so right, trust your instinct. I remember, as a 16-year-old girl, we were at our local festive week and on our way home to be offered a lift from a friend of a friend, and I was ushered into his car it was alright; he would drive me home, as we were driving, he said that he just had to get something from his home, he drove to the camp where he lived but then carried on driving into a field he got out of his car and went to the boot of his car. It was dark, close to midnight, and I felt a woosh of fear while sitting in the passenger seat. I just opened the door and ran towards the road took a giant leap over the ditch with water that was bordering the road. I don't know if he was going to do something, but it felt so wrong and strange for him to drive into a field and then go to the boot of his car that I wasn't going to ask and just had a flight response.
I’ve heard so many stories like this! And the horrible thing is that you might have prevented something terrible happening to yourself but not to others girls who interacted with this man. And the only way to bring this person to justice is letting the horrible thing happen and surviving it and then for police to find out about it. Which for me sounds horrific😢
@@nataliamyliavska8407 Not true. You report it to the police anyway. At least then, if one or more people do the same, the Police will watch him; and at least then, if or when he does commit crimes, they may be able to stop him sooner.
@@nataliamyliavska8407 Yes, but I was young and scared and didn't know him. I did talk to the girl years later who ushered me into his car and asked who it was, but she couldn't remember
i agree and i would even argue that that is actually sexual empowerment, you don't just give in to anyone or any whim you have, also you establish a position of "i have something precious i will only give to select people under certain circumstances"
Yeah both men and women should be picky. I don’t understand why it has become a criticism that someone is “picky“. Find someone you like & trust before you do something so intimate (and risky)
True, but you've missed the point. Young people don't discuss social constructs and rules of consensual behaviour prior to engaging in some casual fun.
Sex is never casual even when ppl try to treat it that way. Too many males and females just don’t understand what they’re really engaging in and opening themselves up to. We need a lot more teaching and talks like this. 🙏🏽⚡️🔥❤️🔥
I never experienced casual sex myself. But just basing on what my friend (Who've been engaging in it) told me, it also has to do with loneliness and trying to fulfill this kind of "need" just because not everyone can even afford time, money and emotion to invest in a relationship. Sometimes it's just the sad fact that people wanted all the benefits in the relationship but not the responsibilities that comes with it.
@@MoiraiScarlet it’s a complete opposite to what you describe. A lot of people actually do have the time money to invest into a to one person but they deem it as too stressful or not worth it emotionally find it taxing so always put more effort in casual sex and persuading women to engage with it 😢
@@ceilconstante640 True. When it comes to education also, it should be a balance of being conservative and liberated view. Too much conservative approach would censor people on the important things they need to know. While admittingly, being on the other end of extreme liberation is also the reason why people have been neglecting the basics such as emotional intimacy and unhealthy practices. People should treat sex with more respect. Not a bargaining chip hoping to hold someone hostage or do anything for it, not even pay someone and hope they'll give you that. It's something only reserved for the person who deserved it.
@@MoiraiScarlet it's not a political issue. It's an issue of looking deeply at choices to avoid negative consequences. And learning about how one feels about themselves and how that reflects on their choices. The only political issue of today is denial of abortion even if a woman and the baby's life is in danger.
Casual sex just never made sense to me, always seemed like disassociation was essential to making it feel “casual” “comfortable” and “normal”. It just doesn’t add up. Most humans would never share a toothbrush with another human, but having sexual encounters (swapping body fluids sexually, letting someone inside you/ being inside of someone - which literally is the closest you can ever get in all senses, and simply being intimate) is considered less icky/bizarre than that? It just proves that we are conditioned to be casual about our bodies/ minds/ souls in this specific way as a social thing. It’s so backwards. Someone can have sex with you and not actually care about your well-being in the slightest… I’d much prefer to be cared for primarily and know someone intimately (in the non sexual way), then later have sex with that person. It just makes so much more sense, and yet you’re likely to be made to feel like a fool for wanting the latter and not the former😅 This is why I’m a huge fan of not explaining self. Just saying no when someone makes sexual advancements is more than sufficient and that is a culture that should go viral.
Yes yes but we incels are right,women control dating and sex,women have unlimited options,women have all the power,women have it so easy Also women say so much shit about "oh i only can have sex in long-term relationship because security,trust blah blah"and after 2 years they lose attraction to the man so i dont think women words can be trusted.
@@wanderingromance Yes yes but we incels are right,women control dating and sex,women have unlimited options,women have all the power,women have it so easy Also women say so much shit about "oh i only can have sex in long-term relationship because security,trust blah blah"and after 2 years they lose attraction to the man so i dont think women words can be trusted.
I think it’s because some may view her stance as placing a moral currency on sexuality. I feel like this is wrong. People are different and that is okay. If a woman wants to wait for marriage- that should absolutely be her choice and she should find a partner that supports it. But if a woman wants to be promiscuous, that is also her choice and i don’t view her any less than the one who waited. We need to normalize understanding that different people want different things and no one is better than the other. Consent and communication are the keys.
@@Sarah-with-an-Hmore like risk. Men can’t afford the risk of having a woman. We’re viewed as a payday the second they want a divorce, which is initiated by women over 80% of the time. As a result of not taking the risk, the upkeep and effort isn’t needed.
The most heartbreaking thing about this talk is hear about young women who don’t really want sex, go along with it because it’s now the social norm. I hope they get the message, it’s not worth doing something you don’t really want to do just because it’s normal now. Having sex never a way to get commitment from a man. It costs a woman the most and is least effective.
Yes, I have several lady friends that are single moms. It’s sad because they think they’ll never find anyone to marry. I know there are single dads too but I’m just saying because there are more single moms.
It's not just nowadays. I live in Germany and I let a 20 years old deflower me when I was 15 years old. I didn't want it, I was far from ready to let an other person enter my body. But I sort of planned it, because of the indirect pressure from my friends and peers, who were basically fucking around at this young age. When I look back now, there are many layers to the causes or reasons why young girls become sexually active, though they don't want it. But first of all I have to say: the healthier the family dynamics/backgrounds of young girls, the healthier their decisions are. If your daughter feels save and welcomed at home, the more self respect she will have, because she's not feeling a need to look for "shelter" with people who could harm her. It's simply and no news. In my case, I thought I have to please the young man in order to escape my home. If anybody would have been telling me how much this hurt me for the rest of my life (for relationships and sexually), if somebody would have helped my mother to make me feel safe, I wouldn't have been running either to my friends houses or the young men's.
@@agentin00katz14 I totally understand you.I am from a broken family. For me, when I found a structured religion, everything made sense. Also secularism does not make it easy for people to respect themselves. YOLO philosophy is the worst advisor for a young girl.
She is full of common sense. I’m a divorced man in my late 40s, physically fit and good looking. Naturally finding someone to sleep around was not hard but after trying it with a few partners I have strongly decided against it. Sex is not just only an isolated activity but something deeply emotional and spiritual that I just don’t want to share with someone I met in a bar. One of my ex partners was really gorgeous but despite that I felt empty. I have been oversexed to the extreme by movies, music, social media and so on. I have decided to focus on raising my children, make myself better and along the way I’m going to meet someone who wants something more than casual sex. And I don’t really care if it never happens .
@@flugjung I can see that. I get busy on projects and don’t find myself having time unless it was all perfect and fantastic that does comes along I will most likely age out before having kids and won’t add to the numbers because I worry to much about culture norms. But if timing and everything ever perfect maybe but I may be immature because young perfect women are only ones showing interest in a loving way. I am twice their age so I feel funny. The ones my age love the areas they live and I don’t enjoy those places as much as other areas. They are widows and divorces and nice but harmed by last love so I get to much grief women with trust issues or something. I did nothing bad why do I have carry freight of their last love. So I will be alone or married to one too young and my family will rib me about. Guess I should check to see range current society thinks appropriate.
I remember all the sexual encounters I had when I was a teenager, I never initiated it nor wanted to do it. It was always the guy initiating and I went with it because I just thought it was the cool thing to do or I wanted to “please” the guy I liked and all my friends were doing it. I don’t remember a time where I really wanted to do it or not felt pressured. Casual sex left me with a lot of trauma, I’m in my 30’s now and I wish I was more educated on the subject back then so I wouldn’t have gone through that. I’m happy that you are speaking on this topic cause is SUPER important, parents should teach you these things but sometimes they fail, thanks.
yes this is 100% what many of us went through as teenagers. I don't think Gen X was very good parents. They had a lot of weird trauma and I think they thought a more hands off parenting approach was better for us. It most definitely was not. My daughter is 14 and I don't see that so much happening with her. I have been really honest with her what I went through I parent and protect her more
i have no shame in having casual sex in my teens and early 20s. i looooovvveee it! sadly, im 40 years old now, and i'm bored out of my mind with a steady relationship.
That's why he is successful & he is followed by millions in his channel unlike the annoying people who interrupt their guests forbid them from completing their ideas & took the subjects elsewhere & distract us the audience & annoy us so thank you Steven
Trust your instincts what a low quality answer. Your daughters will look for a man that share the ideas that you provided them in looking for partner. Parents are the first thing children look for in similar traits. You have to guide them in being selective not trusting their feelings.
@@_nimrod92 although, being attuned to your own feelings and believing that how you feeling is an important piece of data. I think I was raised to dismiss how I felt! I was raised to ignore how I felt
I like how she mentioned being "friends with benefits" can impact decision making. I think this is a huge factor that is overlooked and leads to unhappiness. I enjoyed watching this and wished I'd had something like this to watch in my health classes as an adolescent or teenager. It seems like a useful tool to preserve the mental health of younger and older women.
FWB is super disgusting method for guys not wanting a relationship. An ex friend of mine who I've befriend many years asked me to consider FWB, and sadly I agreed to it in hope to elevate sparks in chemistry....there were sparks alright but he was just using me to get by while flirting with another girl....
Instead, look at what they are teaching in schools from a very young age. Most parents don't know and it's carefully kept from them. One pre teen girl brought home homework requiring her to speak to her father about his $exual function and org as ms. This is in Australia.
I’m so glad someone is finally telling the truth and doesn’t care what society thinks. The fact that it is “unpopular” or “controversial” for a woman to prioritize her mental and emotional health and not give herself away to any guy speaks volumes about how much society has “progressed.” If only more women would come together and be heard because casual sex doesn’t serve us. Casual sex may feel good in the moment but it almost always leaves women feeling empty, used, and unfulfilled. We need to speak up and change the culture.
Let's start with the rape argument. Rape in a partnership is more common than outside. Rape in friendship circles etc. way more common than with a stranger. Rape is mostly about power not about sex, why else would babys or older woman get raped (and yes, that happens). Maybe women feel empty because they get shamed a lot? Because there is this internalised idea of "I had casual sex, I am a bad person"? Here's the thing: There should not be pressure on women to sleep with a guy ("third date" comes to mind), but there should not be pressure to not sleep with a guy if both people feel like it. And yes, listen to your icks - that's the one thing I can get behind. You'd never be able to let yourself be comfortable with a dude you have icks about.
I love that she gave it a name: “empathy gap.” Closing the empathy gap between men and women in both directions is a good first step. Being married for 10 years and raising a son has helped me with that, but growing up with only sisters made me pretty oblivious to the male psyche in my early years.
100%! I wonder though if maybe the reason why women respond to sex in a much more negative way than men do is because of cultures that enable slut shaming? I feel like women for so long were basically forbidden to be able to express their sexuality as free as men and so there is literally generations of shame that's being placed on them.
@@edithead5994well, it's not only that women were forbidden to express their sexuality, it's also the fact that for a long time there was no contraception.
As a young woman navigating the modern world of dating apps, the pill, pornograpgy exc. I've noticed all of these have DEEPLY affected me and my peers in various ways. I am so incredibly happy that she is speaking out about these even though it may seem "controversial"❤ THANK YOU for giving her and her message a huge platform!🙏🏼
I mean it's not as if any of this were new. We just choose who we want to listen to and trust in. I think these catastrophes mostly affect women, who simply don't have any decent man in their lifes to learn from and relate to. So they simply would not know any better and listen to the harpies instead.
@@colin562 in my childhood home there was a lacklustre sexual education experience ( school wasn't much better as they used literally blurred/stick-figures ect ) so monogamous married first 90day's in or so was a shock to me mentality 20-26yo~ so im not in full agreement with your views or her's/video's and if i was to give myself advice as a teenager/20's be more open/willingness as after honeymoon is over for the 1st-time isn't worth the risks id say somewhere around the 3d-9th-date/30day's-in-dating is probably a good point ( me-2 is what changes it for me to be more careful-ect and well as the negative outcome of being cleaned out by court's by not test-driving ) to see if bedtime including sleeping+sex-prefences ( one of my shocks was she was closeted bi aka she liked/crush her bestie that i didn't notice at first, she still playing it straight-game not mentally healthy for her or her-partner's-ect ) is a good-fit ect rather than being blindsided by surprises ect again sexual therapy talking or live-coaching or hand's-on ( 25yo+ and college masters ect and STD testing ect aka well regulated, found out im not talking only i need the in-room help in some form to break silence+bad-habits-ect and for it to stick-longer ) is sometimes valuable to brake bad-habits and yes undagoisted decease's or addicting behaviour's can be helpful to moderation is key, aka yes someone can have a porn-addict or spending$$/time and yes that can wreak marriage's if left untreated sameness for avoiding intimacy/nudity like i have and or uncomfortable being or giving the central attention like bi/polly marriage/commited-3way-sex can bring and or fomo by them separated-dating/sexually activity's but i reminded myself that it's a different experience/type than i can give and it's unrealistic for one of them only to filling my companionship/mental-health-need's or being the best homemaker ect
This is one of the most important talks I've ever listened to! It took me til my early 50's to realise this, wish I'd had that much needed guidance in my teens and 20's. The brainwashing of 60's-70's pop culture and peer pressure led to leading a lifestyle that was destroying me. Please Louise, write that book for the youth, they so desperately need to hear this. Hopefully the pendulum will swing and young people will come to know the comfort, security, fulfilment and elevation of true intimacy and loyalty.
The whole '60s pop culture, make love not war, love is all you need, "cool" , the music, everything, was a deliberate social engineering project designed to undermine traditional family values, debase intimate and respectful love, remove God and religion (two separate things),.and completely unravel the fabric of a functioning society that had taken thousands of years to establish and which was the cornerstone of stability and procreation and furtherance of our own race and its values. This came down through the Frankfurt School and the Tavistock Institute and infiltrated the churches and educational system (the Long March through the institutions) and look where we are now. On the verge of complete abandonment of all cultural values that made the West strong. Children as young as 3 being taught to explore their bodies and more, unroll a rubber, (please comprehend my careful coding of language) lewdly graphic books in schools and libraries, confusion of what is M and F to the point where one Australian bureaucrat in Senate Estimates asked to define woman mumbled a word salad and said he'd have to take the question on notice. This is where we are. We stand for nothing and are ready to fall for anything. The conditioning is all but complete and full tyranny about to descend. Theosophy and Alice and Foster Bailey played a huge part in all this. Alice talked about a N W O and one world guv decades ago. Media brainwashing esp T V & unHoly Wood did the rest.
I'm 27 and relate to this video so much. I just sent it to my 13 year old sister who, so far, is very true to herself which I love and is a quality I want to nurture and ensure does not get tainted by peer pressure! This video also really goes to show how every generation has their own issues they have to endure. So many people think every generation had it better than the last but that's only true for some aspects of life.
Steve you are one of the best interviewers out there! No ego, you listen with the intent to learn and understand, no agression, judgement or bias. Great questions and elegance.
Women do not watch porn or buy sex not because they don't like sex as much as men-women enjoy different type of attraction, they do not need visual stimulation as much as audio/thoughts/emotional engagement. Its a different mindset from a mans, more designed to get to know the subject of the relationship.
what about soulless sex inside a long term marriage or relationship ? many assaults and domestic violence and abuse happens within long term relationships and with men that are known to the women.I'm not advocating "casual sex"or sex with strangers"but your point ignores many of the instances wherein domestic abuse and r*pe often happens.R*ape within marriage was not even recognised or outlawed until the 90's bfore that r*ape within marriage was pretty much normalised.
I also love how she touched on how being “just a mom” is worse than having a more respectful proper job. Left my career when I had kids and really deeply feel this
The people who look down on you would probably not be the best mothers. Some women do better outside of the home. You should never feel badly about being a stay at home mom. You have the most important job in the world. You are helping to shape society.
I went to a college prep high school that was very prestigious. Once I got to college I realized how expensive it was and I stopped going after I got my Associates Degree. I have felt deeply guilty for years about not having a career. But now I have been a SAHM for 11 years and my youngest just started kindergarten and my life is leagues better than it would have been if I'd focused on my career instead of propping up my then boyfriend, now husband. 20 years together this December and he's the only man I've been with. It makes our relationship even stronger.
Always encouraged women to stay at home more, to be there for their children, and be proud of it. I am a teacher (33 years of teaching ) and I can see how much better children and families (and women )are when the mother is there. At least only working in the morning and at home after midday ...
I would give you the same advice as a young person gets when bullied. This is their issue, not yours and you should go on being proud. As soon as you give into the feeling of being less, you are giving them power. Feel pride in being a mother!
I grew up in an Asian country where sex before marriage was very much a taboo and pregnancy out of wedlock was a scandal. I moved to a Western country in my teen years and the culture was so different, I went from feeling the “pressure” to stay a virgin before marriage to the opposite way around where I was feeling almost ashamed of being a virgin in my 20s. Truth be told I agree with Louise Perry completely.. I’ve never enjoyed casual sex. Not the type who could have one without feeling attached or bonded, so I’d never do it. As I got older I’m now actually proud to have what they would call an “extremely low body count” these days. I think a healthy middle ground is to only have sex with someone when you’re in a committed relationship. The problem is these days in most western countries a lot of men wouldn’t wait because if you wouldn’t “put out” they’d just go find someone else who would. The key is to have every woman everywhere to stop engaging in casual sex, and you’d see men willing to commit again.
Women would never go back on this behavior, the rebellious factor still prevails. Furthermore, men don't need to worry about religious morality, they can have easy access to sex or they can simply afford a call girl. Once a behavior becomes culturally normal, it is unlikely that the population will go back on that behavior.
Women are (or used to be) the gatekeepers of sex. Before the sexual revolution, if a man wasn't prosocial and loyal to his woman, if he didn't have a job, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to have sex, as Louise said. Because sex was an expression of intimacy, an act of commitment and procreation that preceded a family union called marriage. A woman having sex with a man meant, "Your genes are good enough for me to carry in my womb for 9 months and continue the lineage".
Agreed. I think a lot of women believe that giving sex early will get a guy, who they perceive as high quality, to commit. True high quality dudes aren't going to be offended if you don't give sex early. The only dudes getting offended or leaving to find another girl who will "put out" are not high quality guys. They may be high status or high income, but that does not equal high quality in commitment.
@petermaclellan9977 They're not being honest. It's narrative. They're trying focus blame, reason for the crisis, at males... but it takes two. If there is a crisis of sexless men then there is also a crisis of sexless women. Well unless every chad is out there boning 10-15 women a week. The truth is that there's a crisis of sexless men and sexless women, sexless people.
Agreed. The modern perception is that people need to go through dozens to figure out the type of life partner they want. Then they search for a 'safe bet', type. Unfortunately, the adventurous one, who is accustomed to a high turnover of experiences, loses the urge to put out long-term because their mind is trained for newness. Maybe they can stay faithful, but by not showing up in the long-term relationship that they chose, they are affectively displaying the damage done from being so free & easy for 15 years before body clock makes them want to change lanes at 30.
@petermaclellan9977 Even the host of this podcast is shacking up with a woman, taking up her childbearing years. He could bolt at any time for any reason.
@@Martin-rh7mf " The modern perception is that people need to go through dozens to figure out the type of life partner they want" The modern perception is women need to go through the 5% of men who are "acceptable" before she finds her ¢HAD in shining armor... FTFY
Why this woman is considered “controversial” is quite alarming and says a lot about the society we’re living in today. To be promoting healthy habits, for both men and women, and healthy happy families, what a monster! I watch almost every episode and this is one of the few I actually finished in its entirety. Excellent guest, very informative and very important episode.
I would find anyone NOT be considered controversial to be alarming in a society. That would mean we do not allow for different view points, life styles, and opinions to be valid and okay. There is not one way to live you life. And anyone who pushes one way of life, is mostly acting in bad faith and just wants power and control over someone else's life. It is important to ALWAYS be critical. Nobody is always right and always perfect. Not being critical is the basis of unhealthy cults.
Nothing she's saying is controversial... But even someone as forward thinking as her CAN NOT talk about the elephant in the room. The cause of everything we are seeing with the breakdown of the mating market has absolutely nothing to do with men. It is entirely women's fault. When 8O% of men are literally invisible to 1OO% of women it by definition can not be men's fault. Women are the sexual selectors, the choosers. Women always have been... and women have always been the way they are currently... women have always been choosy and conniving and hypocritical and the more superficial sex. It is just that social degradation and scalability of women's sexual pickiness and caprice means women can be terrible on a societal and even global scale. There is nothing men can do to fix this. ONLY women can fix this... and it starts with them being honest. Women need to admit that they don't really want a good man or a stable man... they want the hunky "bad boy" and they want to tame him just enough to be HER bad boy. Once women admit the truth then men (who have always chased women and changed themselves to attract women) will have a clear and plausible target to aim for. Only then will men be able to become what women are interested in... and women ARE NOT interested in good men or "nice guys". Women are interested in bad boys that give them excitement... they only give in to "nice guys" once the clock starts ticking and they haven't locked down a bad boy (because most women can't). If women start being honest about what they want, a HUGE MAJORiTY of men will still be invisible to women... but rather than 1OO% of women lusting after and only giving the time-of-day to 5% of men... perhaps we can live in a world where 1OO% of women lust after 45% of men. Then relatively stable pair-bonds might return... Because a society where only 5%-1O% of men have access to women is a society that dies quickly.
She is not controversial they are hyping that up. This generation is having the least amount of sex. And if you go on TikTok/IG no academics are saying the same thing she is.
I don’t think this should ever be controversial to discuss. It’s how my brother and I were raised as well. Neither of us slept around and it’s because these topics were discussed openly when we were young. It’s not just unhealthy for women, it’s unhealthy for anyone and it shows in society more and more.
@@lisaart5301You don't need to wait until marriage but until you're ready. For every person this could be onother age. The society shouldn't be pushing the teens into sex because it's "normal".
Louise, never feel badly about telling the truth. I am a counselor and I get really frustrated with the complaints I hear from women who have casual sex and regret it. Women are so miserable in the western world. They want to be the cool girl, they want to be low maintenance, they want to be open to experimentation, they agree to things that they don't want to do because they feel it's expected of them. They believe that if they are truthful with a man, they will lose him. But they cry many times when a guy ghosts them after they had sex with him. Sometimes they engage in a sexual relationship with a man which goes on indefinitely and without purpose. In the end, the men doesn't commit and she is left to repeat the same scenario all over again with another man. We as women need to change the narrative of casual hookup culture. It doesn't serve us.
I'm 27 and never had sex. Granted I'm only attracted to people sexually if they have a compatible personality but despite the stigma I have 0 regrets and don't feel a need to. There's so much that can make us happy other than sex. If you can't engage with it in a healthy way, it's not worth it. I've seen friends, family strangers all give in and have regret, health issues, put themselves at risk, emotional instability and stress from stress. Weather you meet someone you're comfy with when you're young or later in life, it's worth the wait. Sex doesn't make you a better or worse person and it won't fix problems.
I was 26.5 when I gave my virginity to my boyfriend, who promised to marry me. We both grew up as devout Christian’s, so I trusted him and his words. The relationship got too real for him and he bailed. I was devastated. I have no regrets, but I was disappointed in him. I trusted and loved him and was ready to marry him. Given my experiences with men, until there’s a real commitment on the table like marriage, move carefully with sex. And don’t be pressured by society or any guy. Sex is beautiful when there’s love!
I respect your choice, but I believe the goal shouldn't be to avoid sex. Really do go and try to find a person you might like long term. I wish you all the best
good for you. Sex is not as big a deal as people claim it is. It can leave you feeling really low and depressed because of the lack of connection. People use sex to fill a void in their life that needs to be addressed in other serious and mindful ways.
You claim you have zero regrets and then proceed to spend the entire comment justifying yourself. It’s quite obvious you have serious things to work on, and because of this, you have difficulty attracting a woman.
I read her book last year, and it was huge for me. My whole mindset completely shifted as she supported her case with science and studies to back her up. I’d never heard anyone support their stance without using religion as a backbone, and it was the paradigm shift of the century. Keeping in mind I don’t agree with 100% of her beliefs, but a grand majority.
So correct me if I'm wrong but you're saying if religion would have been used to back up her claims, you would discount it, even though the consequences of casual sex are all around us? And maybe, just maybe religion - even if not your cup of tea was actually onto something? Huh.
@@hannayaya7413 Hi there, friend. This comment’s purpose is to pump up one heck of an author and a novel that anyone should read from any belief system. You’re looking for an argument where none needs to exist. Yes, you’re right- listening to an argument just based on religion was hard for me because I really love conclusions based on data and research that comes from credible studies. After reading her book, I experienced something called ✨personal growth✨. It’s a lovely experience, really. Personal growth could start for you by not scrolling through people’s comments on the internet, trying to find reasons to be upset. Let’s please get back to what matters- the book was excellent. If you haven’t read it, I recommend the audiobook. She narrated it really well. If you have, then I’d love to get some recommendations on books like this one if you have any? My background is Christian, but I am open to texts of any kind if you loved them.
@@braveandbookish9626 You presume too much. I'm not looking for an argument. I only asked you a simple question because I was curious - you should answer it if you want to. And not sure if you're deflecting when you say you prefer research and data but you do realise that it is the conclusive evidence of the consequences of the casual, illicit sex that people are engaged in, when tallied together (which is the research) that becomes the data? Which would also clearly mean that the data doesn't address the problem but merely shows you that it exists? My point to you is this - maybe God foresaw this problem and tried to prevent it. Diminishing that because you prefer "data" which is nothing but the evidence of the consequences says a lot about what you revere and has no bearing on Universal Truth.
@@hannayaya7413 If religion says it they would think its backward, but when its not backed up by religion then its facts and it shifts their mindsets... And becomes interesting although its basically same thing. I am muslim and I never had sexual relationships outside of marriage, I found them wrong first because of religion, but I knew religion only prevents something if its bad, and thinking about consequences and potential harm of casual sex just make it make sense why its forbidden in religion. But people have criticized us a lot, and i'm surprised that same things are said now but people find them interesting and ots completely different reaction to what we got when we say casual sex is harmful.. I don't get why all the hate
Being just a mum isn’t worse but it is a risk to depend on another person’s emotions for your financial security and to avoid falling into poverty. The speaker is not addressing these elements.
This is why as a man, I consciously override the assumption of a womans interest in me by often reminding myself that it's much more likely shes not interested unless proven otherwise. Seems to work much better for me, leading to less rejection and less uncomfortable interactions. I think more men should realise that. If you think about it, the assumption of a woman being interested in you without much signs is a bit of a cope.
Just dont let that stop you from approaching women. Ive noticed men just do not approach women anymore because they assume they are not interested or they dont want to offend the women. This is a mistake and it leaves women feeling like theres something wrong with them. If men stop approaching women and making the first move, relationships will cease to form.
@@nesta8603 so men need to approach women so women can feel better about themselves? Nahh, women can work on their self confidence instead. Also I don't think it is necessary for all men to feel like they have to approach. I've had several relationships and none of them were from me approaching. Either the girl showed obvious interest or asked me out.
I appreciate your awareness and strategy. In my experience as a woman, there are far too many times where attraction was assumed and it made me feel icky and/or unsafe, and far too little times that I was treated with respect and approached in a way that made me feel safe and valued. It’s a tricky thing when you’re not sure if someone is interested and you don’t want to be rejected. However, I think there is a lot of maturity in being able to assume that it’s a no unless it’s actually a yes. I also think that it gives more opportunity to grow familiarity and attraction organically without the extra pressure.
0:00: ⚠ Risks of casual sex for women, societal pressure, emotional bonding, and implications of waiting for engagement. 8:54: 🔑 Sexual violence and rape are not driven by sexual desire but by power dynamics and age-related factors. 17:31: ⚖ Sexual behavior differences between men and women in casual settings and their impact on culture. 26:01: ⚖ Gender dynamics in dating are influenced by the availability of contraception, leading to conflicts over timing of sexual activity. 34:42: ⚠ Importance of trusting instincts for personal safety highlighted in 'The Gift of Fear' book. 43:29: ⚖ Lowering physical standards in physical roles to accommodate more women can compromise safety and effectiveness. 51:27: ⏳ The importance of delaying sex until engagement due to tradeoffs and cultural norms. 59:12: ⚖ Polygamous systems can lead to social instability due to unequal distribution of partners, while involvement in childcare can lower men's aggression. 1:07:53: ⚖ Challenges of traditional marriage roles, high divorce rates, and impact on children's well-being. 1:16:24: ⚠ Concerns of sexual violence and impact of porn on children, leading to creation of young adult edition. 1:25:04: ⚠ Declining birth rates in South Korea due to cultural, societal, and modernity factors leading to potential population decline. 1:33:41: ⚠ Sexual dynamics, pornography consumption, and dangers of casual sex for women are discussed. 1:42:02: 💪 Evolutionary preferences in mate selection: balance of masculinity and aggression in men. Recapped using Tammy AI
for the second part (@8:54) she said that rape is not driven by power dynamics. she said rape is driven by biology, and occurring mainly during the time of testosterone peak in men.
Monogamy was only an absolute for women. Men could have mistresses or visit brothels and women could not divorce a husband because of it because they were financially dependent. Men were only monogamous is they could not afford outside sex. Women having jobs, meant they could divorce men for this behavior, but also could afford to take a lover. So, we should not wax poetically about "the old way". Betty White talked about how the only reason she got married the first time was to have sex and it was a short-lived marriage. Go over to the Cults to Consciousness channel, and all of the women talk about the serious problems they had because they married someone, they did not know well to avoid pre-marital sex. While there might be problems with the current situation; going backwards isn't a panacea either.
You’re so right. Making women reliant on men will surely increase abuse. I recently saw a video made by a woman who chose to be a “tradwife”. She was chaste, dropped out of college, got married, and had children with a man who abruptly divorced her 20 years later to be with a younger woman. She found herself homeless with no job skills or work history. And as you said, a lot of people just excuse the promiscuity of men in the old system, which kind of shows their hand. Policing women’s behavior is their priority.
Everything she has said is completely true. When I was a teenage girl, pretty much every sexual experience I had wasn’t because I actually wanted to have sex, but because I felt pressured socially that if I didn’t, these guys I liked wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I know there’s girls who didn’t give into these pressures and have had much better relationships monogamously. Now that I’m married, I’ve been able to reflect with my husband on how differently we saw things as teenagers, girls need to be honest and bold to say no when they don’t want to have sex.
And boys need to not take advantage of the extreme desperate validation seeking of girls. They know girls don’t want to. They PREFER that. There’s a word for it. Sorry you were so badly abused. As a girl who wanted it often and who also felt bold enough to say no, to say when, to say how, to kick fight bite and scream…. They prefer it when we say no. They never listened.
@@successartistry3023what are you talking about? She literally said girls need to learn to be honest, say no, and be bold on their boundaries. How is that not taking responsibility? Who is the OP blaming? Can you read😂
I have friends and family who have been involved in the sex industry, and curiously have noticed that publicly they defend it, but in personal conversations with them have confessed feeling miserably trapped...
They probably are miserably trapped. What other skills do they have? Do they have the ability to get another job that pays anywhere near what they get from doing that kind of work? It's hard for many to leave that line of work once in it, sadly. I wish them well and hope they find a path forward that brings them happiness.
Louise Perry raised many important issues and observations. Our young folk need to hear this, as do our adults and seniors. Happy, successful marriages have always been a challenge, pre and post pill. Personal relationships with family and friends need cultivating to increase our chances for happy marriages. Likewise, living a life without marriage.
Low tetesterone from lack of hardwork but rather sitting all day because of desk jobs or video gaming or whatever men do instead of hard physical work is destroying sex drive. ... along with women acting like psychopathic men ... instead of being femenine and gentle.
It is a question of intimacy. Intimacy is something very precious and delicate. Sharing it with casual people destroys it so much that eventually it vanishes. You can't open it public, crosse all your inner boundaries, and stay the same.
I came opened eyed into a relationship with my girlfriend who had two children. I married her and took her kids as my own. Step father I am now yes, but there is a stigma of them turning out as abusers. That shit never crossed my mind. Two years ago my stepdaughter married and I WALKED HER DOWN THE AISLE!
@@reagenarendse9209unfortunately, the sad truth is that a child's chances of being sexually, physically, and/or psychologically abused increase dramatically the minute a step parent enters the picture. Not all step parents abuse their step children, of course, but the probability of abuse increases. This is mentioned in The Consuming Instinct and on PubMed.
I love the uncomfortable conversation. It is so refreshing to have someone be this honest. And lookism is a real thing. I work as a labour union counsellor and I have noticed that it is rare that good looking people come in to complain of poor treatment. It’s a fact.
What about guys or girls bullying someone bc they are pretty and they can’t have them or feel they can’t have them ?… Idk how true this statement is … because I recently got called cops on me just for doing makeup in a public bathroom the man was the manager and didn’t warn me at all just called the cops … I get poor treatment and get told I look like Avril Lavigne … so I doubt it’s 💯 true that pretty women get treated well bc if what people say about me is really true then just bc I get treated like absolute 💩by men and women doesn’t necessarily mean I’m ugly ya know ?
Thank you for speaking on women's instincts. It's often looked down on, especially things like "the ick." Sometimes women are unrealistic or judgemental, but our instincts often save our lives. When young girls are taught their "womanly emotions" and judgements are less than, they are more likely to walk into dangerous situations.
Major respect. If all three of my sons, & my daughter listen as well you do, my job is done. 1st grandchild on the way... I will be sharing this podcast with all 4 of my children, because it speaks the TRUTH.
Loved this episode! She was a great guest, well spoken and has a very pleasant feminine energy! Also glad to see the push back on casual sex in our culture. As a woman it often makes me feel entrapped and powerless in my own feminity when the expectation of sex is looming over my head. We are not fruits to be eaten and discarded, sex thrives in a loving relationship with respect and honor.
She is the pits. She says everything and its opposite, hasn't a clue - also used cherry picking with studies. Her sources are anecdotal and mostly rubbish.
@petermaclellan9977 I see your point and it is of course a tricky thing. I do however believe that though cheating might be understandable, it is never justified. A couple has to continuously work on their intimacy to keep the relationship alive. You're definitely right, that that is not an easy task for most people, but that is what makes it so valuable :)
@@I.Reckon I'm not sure we're addressing the same part of this podcast. Sure she adresses multiple kinds of mating behaviour in humans and though she does an excellent job of not assigning a moral value to them, she does state how different forms of sexual relationships have different effects. Casual sex being a statistical net negative especially on women and their wellbeing :)
I was a virgin when I got married. No regrets. There were some embarrassing conversations along the way when I told men I was waiting to have sex until marriage. They left. It hurt, but just realized these were not patient men who could exercise self-control. That is not someone a woman should want to be married to. Much of life is waiting and needing to be patient, and you should definitely marry someone who exercises these traits. Waiting until marriage for sex is kind of like the first test of someone's self-control, self-regulation, and patience. If you can wait for sex, you can wait for most anything in life. Looking back, waiting for sex was extremely empowering. It was my first step in learning to say "No" to men who wanted to control me. You want to exert you power over men? Don't offer up your body so freely. Also, on guns, it is the great equalizer for women against men. I recommend every woman have one.
@@vmb371 haha right!? I won't deny it. She mentioned guns at one point, so I tossed in my opinion. To me, every women should have one for proty. We don't have a physical advantage, so having the ability to protect ourselves and those we love is a must
Just dont change your ways when you get divorced. Cos 99,99% of women do go absolutely crazy after divorce, even those who were virgins before that marriage. It's heartbreakingly sad to see.
@@maga-hat709 awe what a sweet person you are to assume that everyone gets divorced. You must be a blast at parties. Huns, if my marriage can make it through two rounds of PPD, one special needs child, taking care of an elderly dementia relative in our house for five years, and bouts of poverty, all in under 14 years of marriage, I am pretty sure we are going to make.
@@72586jejones i'm all for the statistics, my own personal opinions don't matter. If more than 70% of marriages fail in the USA today, it's pretty fair to assume that everyone who makes that foolish decision to marry someone in the present day western world, will eventually end up in divorce.
It's not just that women don't want to be uncool! They don’t want to be called nasty names or be mistreated with emotional, physical, or psychological abuse. Young women are sensitive to how others perceive them and don’t want to be rejected or ostracized. They try to avoid conflict and rejection. Women don't want things to become adversarial or hostile. As soon as a woman says no, the tone and character of the interaction shift, admiration, and interest evaporate, and men lose the motivation to be thoughtful, respectful, kind, or polite. This is my world experience. Am I wrong??
Women: Make sure that you state right from your the get go/ first date that you’re only interested in a monogamous relationship. If you notice a weird reaction or hesitancy from him/ them that was the last date. Make sure YOU don’t negotiate or defend your position. It simply IS your position.
This is best for men as well. That is why men can't understand why, a woman in a sterile couple (usually older couples where one has had a tubal ligation or vasectomy), would refuse to allow the man to stop using condoms. Latex-free sex is very much more enjoyable and deepens trust which for men is the greatest aphrodisiac. A woman that continues to demand condom use is declaring that she and her mate are not trustworthy. That is fake monogamy. People that want monogamy should not accept fake monogamy. It's hypocrisy will eat away at the trust that underpins the enjoyment of monogamy.
The problem is that women will say that, but not back it up with logically consistent action. A logical consistent action would be to insist on getting tested together, waiting beyond reasonable incubation periods and then to forgo condom use to reinforce trust. Instead, most women simply employ a cynical trust and reliance on condom use. What that tells men is that they are not trusted and that women value the option to cheat more than honesty, intimacy, and shared vulnerability. Of course this does not apply to situations where contraception is the utmost concern. But when hormonal contraception is working well, or either partner has been sterilized, the only excuse for a woman to demand continued condom use is chronic urinary infection syndrome. If the increased pleasure men derived from sex without a condom is dismissed out of hand, then eventually men will seek a different partner. Their logic will be, "She doesn't trust me so why should I trust her? Let me find a more trustworthy woman who can fulfill my deeper yearnings for connection."
@@casamurphy NO MAN is entitled to "forgoing condom use" it is too risky for women in this day and age sorry. Not every woman wants to put her body through contraceptives and condoms can fail. In an age where reproductive rights are being restricted absolutely not, that is not defacto a woman's burden to bare just so if feels nicer for you. SUCH entitlement.
Having worked with women who have experienced sexual trauma, I heard several themes these women shared about. One thing was substances have been used, so they could not consent to sex. The women felt the easiest way to get out of the situation and eventually exit , was to get it over with and have sex so they could get out of there.
Yup, that's the primary reaction. We realize we got ourselves in a crap situation and try to navigate our way out. If they want sex and give us a creep vibe, you don't fight. You let it happen and leave afterwards and learn to be more careful next time. It's a really scarey world out there as an18 yr old with no experience in dating and male psyche... what they want, how they can manipulate you into a situation, how to spot lies, ect..
@@user-xd4rs6vr4n ~ Even if inebriation is equal, there's clearly a problem when one party is pushing for sexual interaction and the other is resisting it. And if the person pushing is a femme person, I have an issue with that, too! In my 5 decades of het dating, I've come to accept that there's a substantial percentage of men -- mostly young men -- who think it's A-OK to PUSH women into sexual interactions. It's like a whole thing celebrated by PUAs and embodied by high visibility men like Donald Trump. The controversy isn't the inebriation, really. The horrible reality is that too many masc persons are just fine, or even prefer, to push themselves on women. They'll use women's inebriation as one more tool in their toolkit for how to gain unconsensual, undesired sex. And THAT should be shocking behavior to anyone. Have some self respect...
Research on this topic Ive read up to 70% of women will freeze rather than run or fight Makes sense as men are generally faster stronger It would be so great if humans were more interested in non sexual interactions and this was the norm, sex reserved for committed couples
Excellent episode. The notion of not having women in front-line policing roles (41:50 mark), however, doesn't hit the mark for me. I retired from policing after 30 years and some of my best partners were women. Anecdotally, the mere presence of a female office at a volatile scene more often than not deescalated the situation. Also, much of front line policing is responding to victims, and my experience has been that both men and women respond very well to female officers. As far as fitness standards go: I have never been asked to drop and do a single push up during my years as a front-line officer.
Interesting interview in parts however Kinda feel she contradicts herself on a number of points she tries to make. There’s also fleeting “whatever’s” used during statements which in part eludes to her bias towards certain sex. Not convinced that some figures and stats she pulls off as being accurate
I am so glad women like Louise stand up and speak about these issues and teenage girls have an opportunity of a new glimpse to the so called "sexual revolution".
The most awkward "hard" conversations are often the most important ones. Thank you for saying what needed to be said. This episode is a must watch for the young generation 15-35 age groups, esp. teenage girls.
As a Bi woman this is actually a very important thing for me. I won't date men casually or have sex with them unless I know for sure that if I got pregnant, whether our relationship works out or not, he'd take care of the kid emotionally and finacially with me and generally just be a good dad. With women I'm fine with casual flings and dating because I know there isn't that huge risk of my life being changed by what a man would see as a casual hookup. As a result, despite there being plenty more men I could date in comparisson to women, I find myself dating more women than I do men despite me not really having a strong preferance for either.
Love her! I have raised my 20 yo daughter to wait. To avoid health risks: mental, physical and emotional. My parents never said anything to me about sex growing up. But Nancy Regan’s campaign on drugs (Just Say No) was a catchphrase I followed. Yes, I never did drugs.
I'd recommend that whoever wants to marry her, gets a comprehensive STD test for at least 1 year (twice, every 6 months). A lot of people have undetected herpes.
@@stephaniereich1098 honestly as a man, I'm kinda hesitant to bring this up as well... no one usually takes this kind of requisite without a grain of salt...
It is weird that in only 20 or 25 years casual sex has become the new normal. When I was young and dating apps did not exist, nor the Internet, sex was not not something you just had with someone random. I remember a few years ago texting with a guy on a dating app, who was mindblown when I told him I had never had a one night stand in my life! When 25 years ago this would have been completely normal!
Yes yes but we incels are right,women control dating and sex,women have unlimited options,women have all the power,women have it so easy Also women say so much shit about "oh i only can have sex in long-term relationship because security,trust blah blah"and after 2 years they lose attraction to the man so i dont think women words can be trusted.
this is an misunderstanding caused by your selective awareness, just because in your individual bubble nobody was hoeing around 20 years ago doesn't mean nobody was doing it, humans have been sluts ever since they existed. what we have now is just an epidemic of vainness and disconnect, everything's shallow and fake instead of true connection we search fleeting dopamine
You have missed the point. Do MEN get pregnant and have the law restricting their reproductive rights? Are MEN significantly weaker and at risk of being easily overpowered? Are MEN faced with societal shame and losing value just by having sex? NO.
Typical women's response. When there is a discussion about women, it's always women's response - What about men? They do it too. We are built different and we approach problems differently.
@@maxwellanderson007 No, I agree with her. Connected sex is much better than performance sex. Having performance sex leads to a pattern that changes you neural connections, so that you disconnect from the traits that make connected sex amazing.
My husband and I waited till we were married to have sex, and have been married 34 years. I don’t regret not having sex with multiple partners before I was married.
You missed the point of the video. This video discusses how men force women into sex they’ll know they’ll regret and women having little to no power to stop them.
You were lucky you were sexual compatible and that he was a learning committed of guy. Not everyone that marries is actually commutable or emotionally available. Not all Men try to learn their wives’ sexual needs … You’re very lucky!
I have read her book and I liked it. Having said that, this is a very complex topic that most of us desire a simple answer for and that will never be the case. People are complicated. I was a virgin when I got married at 22. I was happily married for 28 years until my wife unexpectedly left me after our youngest child graduated from college. She simply stated that we had grown apart. No infidelity, no abuse accusations, she simply wanted a different life. I was exhausted from trying to give her and the kids the life I thought she wanted. If I had ANY idea that this would happen I would NEVER have made the choices I did to wait to have sex until marriage. Here’s where it gets complicated. Because I lived the life I did, only being with one woman by the age of 50. A much younger woman I work with (who knew my former spouse and my kids) asked me out immediately after my wife left. We’ve been married now for seven years. She said it was my old school morals and sex mores that compelled her to make the first step to ask me out. She said guys like me are not in the dating pool anymore. Like I said, sex norms are complicated.
Lol, you married again. Good luck with that. If 28 years didn't make her stay, and the richest most famous men can't make em stay... what chance do you really have?
@@Oliver-Closeoff Each women is different. The fact the lady made the first move and knew things ahead says a lot about her character. Some might be skittish to even ask the guy even knowing half of it. Even if one person gives you a bad experience, it doesn't mean that others will.
Funny thing is it doesn't matter what I write here no one will ever read this and apply to anything in their life which makes this whole comment a waste of my time. All people will hear is whatever those two in this video are talking about, that is a problem in itself. Every sentence they say should be taken with a pinch of salt. Here is what I think. Trying to generalize everything is a problem. People still think that they can ban something from happening when making it even worse because the resource becomes scarce and considered more valuable which increases consumption of that resource. Opening everything is a good thing as I believe an educated person knows what is best for him after 16 years old and all your attempts to stop the kid from doing what he learned during those 16 years is meaningless as nothing in the World will stop him from getting what he or she wants. For example, If you learn from early days as a kid that it is good to eat humans and be cannibal, they won't know anything else apart from that and consider everything else not a norm, so parenting and education is the key here. How can you hide a child from sex till 18? For 18 years you need to dodge porn, other sex attractions and finally somehow find your soulmate and have first sex in 18 years or a bit later when you actually involve the government in the equation by getting married? In an idealistic World that might work, but in reality children start practicing sex as early as they can and approach it as a skill rather than some problem we need to fix as a society. If you stop children from experience of sex, it will increase pornography consumption significantly by those children. Also sex is a driver for children to become good looking as they have an aim to make their bodies look good so the other person likes it which increases the chance of mating. If you take that part away from them early in life, you will have a child in his 40s still virgin and that is a problem. Also it suggests that parents are hiding their own sexual life from the child by making it silent or hidden which decreases the quality of that.
@mykewilliamsdorsey2727 you did a good thing for yourself by switching a partner early after divorce and this is healthy. An alternative would always be loving and serving a person who doesn't care that you exist. Though to wrap your head around your partner and suggest early that she should date/merry/live with different kind of a person would be a cool thing to do but unrealistic as you love that person at that time and don't want to let her go...
Take GOD out of the equasion, and there goes the trade and result of greed, self centered love, lust, and sexual fornication, leaving many confused, without a clue to how people really lived in a traditional way of family life, which was lived more abundantly before the mid 1960's, where now there is no recourse with much more confusion and misery between Men and Women in the World living in alternative lifestyles...
been there done that in the 90s- it’s empty. And it makes you feel more lonely afterwards than you were beforehand. That’s not even getting into the fakeness of it or the awkwardness.
Staying married in a bad marriage can traumatize a child. My parents were very unhappy with each other and fought daily for years. It was awful and negatively impacted everyone in the household. I would have been better off if they had divorced. Also, I would not decide whether to have a kid or not because of what this woman, any other person, or society said. That's a personal decision.
Nobody is saying people should stay in bad marriages. They saying we are *creating* more bad marriage because removing consequences of bad behavior. So people aren't behaving in ways that lead to happy lives.
@@jasonmacfarlund2703 a really Bad relation ship also. I whish that everyone would look for very well fitting partner. And when you have a problem in a relationship you seriously try to fix it from both sides. Their ate exceptions when it doesnt work and their is much more fighting and harmony is gone. Some people are not able to overcome the problems. But it all starts woth choosing the wrong partner
@@lenzi1345Too often, the big issue is that we may not realize that we chose a bad partner until after the wedding ! It’s too late by then! The Dating couples are, typically, on their best behaviour ! Also, many young people are naive and are inexperienced in having a serious committed relationship! A good dating partner does not necessarily translate into a good marriage partner! Nor is marrying into a conservative, religious, respectable family translate into a good marriage! Many families have secrets and public personas!
Can honestly say that i have never had casual sex. It simply has never appealed to me. I prefer to get to know a woman, have a connection with them that can develop, and take the time to learn what gives them real pleasure, mentally, emotionally and physically. I prefer Serotonin to Dopamine. But i know that makes me rare, as a man.
These are the conclusions I came up to a while ago. Ever since 2022 I have been celibate and it changed me a lot in a positive way, despite being a woman with a really high libido. Even though I didn’t have issues with my self esteem, my sense of self worth has grown dramatically as well as my sense of integrity and equilibrium
Exact same situation, been celibate for 3 years, has helped me immensely!! And I also have a huge drive, but denying myself now and not actively seeking relationship partner/lover has helped me so much
Women always say that after they have been ran through by hundreds of men, it dont really count aftwr the fact. Thats like a serial killer on deathrow now saying he has changed his life.....🤡.
A big part of the reason this is becoming so prevalent is because TV shows and movies are constantly showing two people who barely know each other jumping into bed at the slightest sign of any sort of connection between them. It’s ridiculous.
She is speaking truth. I think we underestimate how much stronger men are compared to women, and in a private setting how men can impose their strength and over dominate in a situation. Not saying rape but definitely not wanted and enforced anyway.
Yep, this happened to me and I'm still trying to make sense of it, I confronted the guy about it and he dismisses me. We no longer talk but I'm literally fearful of men and being alone with them at this point.
Its not seen as rape but the research shows 70% of women will freeze appearing to consent There can be no implied consent in a power imbalance If a woman isnt directly openly consenting theres a pretty good chance it is RAPE that will go unreported the damage is done
This interview was a breath of fresh air. It feels like those of us who still believe in traditional ideologies are being shoved into a corner and forced to change our beliefs.
But the fact is, you aren't. You can still hold your traditional beliefs and try to teach them to your kids. I agree on a lot of what Louis Perry said in this video but if I had the voice one skepticism I had was that a lot of traditional societies who enforced this monogamous rules also literally left no room for a lot of what people might've wanted to practice in their own individual lives (other religions, gay rights, equal access to general societal priviledges). Just as a random person has more rights living in the west than they might have living under an Islamic state, you have more rights under a liberal government than an average person might have under a conservative/theocratic state.
@weidchar1646 it's a deeper conversation...ur comparing more " freedom" in the west to Islam. Many privileges and freedoms in the west are at the cost of others being responsible. Check single mother's etc.
@@wLBlue I'd argue that a lot of these problems can largely be mitigated if people are accorded with the proper education around them. My concern with most of the solutions provided by conservatives is that it seems heavily rooted in a desire to go back to a time where minority groups (lgbt, other religious/non religious groups, and folks who didn't want subscribe to a specific set of norms) were punished or persecuted for their specific lifestyles and seen as less than human. If it is not, then I'd argue it is in large part due to adopting to a certain liberal mindset.
Not a virgin, I do have some toys and they actually feel better than the real thing objectively on a pure sensation comparison, but it doesn't replace a living human with her weight on you, her smells, breathe, sweat, her slender gentle hands, voice, warmth, heartbeat etc etc. To replace all that with a toy, you would need a sci-fi level android that simulates all the gross stuff like saliva, sweating, and smells. Then again I know some people who would rather watch porn to get off than a willing girl in the next room 😂
She's so knowledgable and talks reason on so many taboo topics while remaining compassionate to both sides. I wish we could have more of that in our media, private conversations, everywhere
I'm a male film and TV editor, frequently cutting narrative, documentary, factual or magazine content which pretty well always requires me to constantly evaluate human behaviour for it's presenting explicit meaning and implicit or subtextual or even subconscious elements. I've done it for over 30 years in a fairly healthy career so it's fair to say I'm pretty competent at evaluating human character at different levels. Yet I find it fascinating that my wife, specifically her intuition, is still better at picking up very subtle cues of character, than me. She has a facility, which once most would have accepted as 'female intuition' which seems psychic - just an ability to guess whether a person has a dark streak, or lonely, or a bit needy, or mean with their money or any number of other traits when they've not said much more than hello. I've met many other people who have made this observation.
Do agree. I have this and my mother does as well. Not all women have it (or trust their instincts), but I'd still say it is a female trait. Men just aren't as attuned to subtle emotional stuff, which is what I believe we women are picking up. Like if someone has sketchy intentions, that does comes with a particular frame of mind/emotional state, which can be sensed. On the other hand, I'd say men are generally better at resisting social contagion and also better at understanding systems. Example, men understand better social reward systems and how they impact behavior. Women are more likely believe people are so inherently good that they would not exploit social benefit systems or act against common good when it benefits them.
Seeing how many women end up in abusive relationships is one factor that has eliminated my belief in “female intuition”. It’s very believable that women are more attuned to certain small details that men aren’t, but I don’t believe women are inherently better at identifying what those details represent.
@@firstnamelastname7708Abusive relationships are complex, and many people - especially men - judge it purely from a black and white perspective, because they don’t seem understand how an abuser can possibly be charming, generous or sweet. But that’s _exactly_ how abusers lure women in; by being charming, generous, affectionate and just an outwardly good person. Relationships rarely - if ever - start out abusive. No woman goes into a relationship willingly if she knows she’s going to get beat up or psychologically abused. It’s a gradual escalation and in most cases trauma bonding occurs. Trauma bonding makes it easier for a victim to survive within the relationship, but it can severely undermine the victim’s sense of self, their ability to accurately see danger, and impairs their ability to see alternatives to their situation. During all this, the abuser almost always makes sure to limit or whittle away their victim’s social connections, be it friends or family - even coworkers - because it means potentially losing control over this person they abuse.
@@firstnamelastname7708 In case you’re unaware, trauma bonding is a strong emotional connection that develops between the victim and a perpetrator in an abusive relationship. This develops because in an abusive relationship, an abuser can be frightening and hurtful, but he/she may then be intermittently kind, e.g. giving presents and affection, or even stopping the abuse for a period of time. In these moments, the victim feels a rush of gratitude and love for their abuser and feels relief that the abuse has ended. The rescuer and the tormentor are the very same person, which means the bond becomes deeper than other healthy relationships as they start to depend on the abuser to survive. Through trauma bonding, the victim can lose their own beliefs and identity and instead takes on the beliefs of their captor in order to survive. She believes that his behaviour is the result of a flaw in herself and turns inwards to try and resolve this and works harder to please him or her. Often, a victims’ sole goal becomes the abuser’s approval. Interactions with others become hollow and superficial as a result. A woman will often become less argumentative in order to survive. And once a trauma bond is established it can become difficult for the victim to break free of the relationship, because they’ve become so dependent on the abuser(socially, financially, emotionally etc).
@@EmDaMo I think my comment came off to you in a victim-blamey way and that wasn’t my intention. I don’t blame the abused for getting abused. My point was only that abuse of women is so prevalent that I think there can’t possibly be a reliable “female intuition”. It’s not women’s fault they can’t clock an abuser or even notice some red flags, but the very fact that they don’t notice them and can’t perceive the early-stage tactics means that they are not gifted with especially powerful intuition. I’m really happy you responded to my comment, because it apparently gave the wrong impression and I needed to clear it up.
I am teaching high-school. In a volunteering programme I showed them the percentage of underage mums in Romania and also some explicit pictures of sexually transmitted diseases, I told them when drinking with groups to never lose themselves because one fun night might turn into a tragedy. I was double questioning myself if I should approach this matter because “freedom” now is acceptable. One of the girls came to me and told me I was exaggerating. Fast forward several months later she asked to meet me privately, broke up crying saying she was almost SA at a party by one of her closest male friends and by luck she escaped. Her mate remembered what I told them and warned her about keeping her drink safe and in her hand. That one went safe and sound home and this one got traumatised. Her tears were terrible. We are not exaggerating, especially with teenagers.
It is riskier because women get pregnant period. Even having the option of abortion sometimes women face complications and even die from the procedure. My father use to say “There is nowhere you need to go that I can’t drive you.” And later on when I got a car he said “Never be alone with a man you don’t mind having a baby with.” This advice is old fashioned but it keeps you safer than taking rides from strangers and sleeping with men that have no regard for you in the end.
Yes, this sort of advice was common for Gen X. Stranger Danger was never about blaming the victim as it is percieved now but as self protection and preservation for women in public spaces.
it is also the principle I as a man function upon... The only woman I want to lay down with is the one that I dont mind raising kids with... all seggs comes with the possibility of life...
That kind of advice is disgusting. How's about, never leave the house, never travel, never work, never take a walk by yourself. Teach young men not to perp on women, rape is a crime, and no means no.
@@MarthaCast i traveled alone but always took precautions. I worked but never and manny times was the last person to leave the building but always let security know I was in the building alone. I was always aware of my surroundings. Per company policy after a certain time of the evening we had to get an escort to the parking ramp if it was out of company security range. Take walks but never in deserted places. I have lived a full life. I grew up in Miami in the 80’s. I can count so many young women that have been raped because they didn’t take precautions. Rape is wrong, but just because something is wrong doesn’t stop people from doing you wrong. Take care of yourself. There is a law that protects investment it’s called what a pro debt person would do. I use the law for all aspects of like.
@@rlizabethcastillo5541US is a crazy place. Those precautions that you state are appropriate for some third world countries - not regular civilized world.
Just wanna say, I believe this too. I think that’s initially what it was for. But don’t you think that these things have been overshadowed by promiscuity ? I guess this could be due to people emphasizing the wrong feminists.
Honestly, no. I’d also like to point out that women have been abused by their husbands, boyfriends, and long term partners. A “committed relationship” does not equal safety, sadly.
The Oprah comment she refers to, in 35:00, I saw the episode. It was a man who did security for high ranking officials or public / wealthy ppl etc. He wrote a book and became a consultant. His years of observation made him realise that women have a natural inclination to know when they are in trouble or trouble was about to happen them. He encouraged lwomen to follow their instincts because unlike men, they were right. And typically women and mostly men would see that as a weakness and shut it down as being paranoid. The rate of women being right in his research was extremely high.
Gavin de Becker. The story he told where he compared us to the animal kingdom stuck in my memory. If a gazelle sees a cheetah in the wild, it doesn't worry about hurting the cheetah's feelings by running away. It doesn't think back feeling regret about shunning the cheetah. It gets the heck out of that situation and doesn't reflect on or question their decision. Yet human women sometimes feel bad about hurting feelings or rejecting men that they get bad vibes from.
I can totally relate. I will say that having unwanted sex taught me to say no because I never wanted to feel that way again. But also drugs played a big part in not caring how I was treated and now that I'm in recovery I have found my true self and not allowing myself to be abused sexually. My boyfriend and I are hoping to get married I'm 35 have never been married and he's my best friend. ❤
Thank you for providing this perspective. The media keeps promoting sex as meaningless fun that should be spread around without any thought among strangers . There is very little regard for the consequences: emotionally, psychologically, and health wise. Unwanted pregnancy and STDs are treated as minor or non existent issues. Socially, many men feel entitled to sex within the first few dates, otherwise they stop calling. There are many other problems created by sexual irresponsibility.
I'm just trying to point out something I think is inadequate. Are you thinking about "Sex and the city"? You might be right. If you think about the Wallstreet Journal or CNN I'm a bit more doubtful. If you consider "Diary of a CEO", well here we go :) So there's no need to get angry at the whole industry. Is that fair for you?
Having a woman with a diamond ring at home has never stopped a significant number of men from 'connecting' with other women behind their partner's back - this is particularly true when she is pregnant.
Oh jeeeez yes! The ring is really just to dance correctly to the social expectation's tune. Off they then go have even more seeex with single women or men as a matter of fact. Very common for most a.n.a.l. lovers.
Women too. From what I have seen, women have caught up with men in Gen Z when it comes to cheating. I think idea of men being the dominant cheaters is generation dependent. The people who tend to assert that men cheat more IME are Gen X or above.
Same thing with women. Taking into account the laws, women have absolutely no responsibility for adultery. In fact they probably will profit from the devorce
I agree with most of what she's saying, but growing up in a strict Christian community I saw so many young people rushing into marriage just so they can have sex. Also women have all the pressure to stay a virgin and feel massive shame if they 'mess up' whereas men don't seem to at all.
WOMAN IN POLICING: domestic calls are among the more common and complex complaints handled by police officers. Woman are proven to be better at engaging in effective communication to de-escalate otherwise violent situations compared to male counterparts parts especially in domestic calls where the situations are often more psychologically and emotionally complex in nature… we don’t need every situation dealt with brute force, violence, and quick to pull the trigger. Communication and de-escalation Strategies that women tend to bring in our police force is a positive benefit to society.
That's true. But perhaps it might be that the man in the man/woman domestic situation know that you'll probably bring an unconscious bias in favour of the woman, so he has to calm down for his own safety. (I'd be curious how this plays out for you in the most violent of domestic situations; lesbian realtionships/marriages?)
She is acknowledging that there is a place for women in law enforcement, just not in the frontlines. In domestic examples, as you have pointed out, if communication is ineffective, now you are dealt in a situation where not only the victim is in higher danger, but also a higher chance the woman police officer might be overpowered, so now you have 2 potential hostages/victims. Also, take into account other areas beside domestic calls in law enforcement/military, especially military where you have more definitive objectives and de-escalation is not an option in some situations. Not even mentioning the heavy machinery and weaponry that women must be able to carry around without slowing the team down. In these situations, I would say that keeping the majority of women in support roles/long distance combat roles (not necessarily just medics/nurses) would be a better option. Maybe as part of the sniping team. Less chance of close combat engagement.
I’m 4yrs out of a coersive controlling marriage and have taken the time to heal and work on myself! This year I entered the dating scene, which is very different from 24yrs ago, and I’m finding dating apps are perpetuating this casual sex culture! I’m 48yrs old and absolutely not interested in hock ups or casual sex, but men my age still are. It’s very off putting and I’m glad I’ve done the work on myself and I’m now happy with my own company, because the current options to date are not enticing at all! Thanks for a very interesting discussion!
What she’s saying is spot on. People that disagree with her just don’t like being told that there is such a thing as truth that requires order and discipline to be beneficial.
Perhaps one of the reasons why we've learnt to adopt socially trending 'icks' is because we have lost the ability to trust/ listen to our own. I agree with Louise - practice listening out for your own 'icks' - learn to listen to and trust your own intuition. Social Media has dampened our ability to do this. We are so reliant on the opinion of others.
I just watched your interview with Evy, how you talked through DEI and a few minutes later you navigating an extremely polar opinion. It's mind blowing how gracefully and non judgmentally you listen to others, very beautiful to watch and sure is a hard skill. Hats off to you!
@@ilsedemolder3973 possible infertility, cancer and emotional turmoil from finding out you have an sti. I have seen such a level of distrust among the sexes now because of sexual freedom. Look at children whose parents do not know who the biological father is.
Hepatitis B, HPV, Herpes never go away. Medications for these STDs can destroy your kidneys after a long time. Untreated they slowly do damage insidiously that won't be apparent until old age. Untreated hepatitis B will just plain out destroy your liver. Their is no positives
I wished she talked more about women’s sexual desire. She talks about waiting, talks about what happens when men are sexless…but what about sexless women? I feel like she doesn’t address women who have sexual desires. It’s not as simple as waiting, especially when you are single an indefinite amount of time
When she said that women shouldn’t be in combat roles, I questioned her. Steven gave a really good example of how a woman de escalated a situation. I feel like that women is providing info from a very narrowed perspective personally
As a woman talking about a women's sexual desire is painful because then they will wake up the majority of men and women dont want to wake up those suckers.
Educate also the men and the fathers of the men to not encourage them to pressure girls and put the act of conquest as priority, because of the pressure of the male group he is in. It's not right to put all the responsability on women.
It's not conquest, it's usually extreme horniness and hormones driving that. women truly can't appreciate the sheer driving intensity of the male sex drive. It's relentless. Only when men get older does it begin to calm down.
No. You are strong and independent. You can do what men can. Just own what you have been preaching the last 70 years. There used to be a system that protected you women. But you the last 60-70 years destroyed all the societal barriers and guards. Now deal with the mess you created on your own.
I disagree.He's not bad. He has a lot to learn and is still young. Now someone like Rich Roll podcast.He's a man who knows how to do podcasts. Simon is nowhere near Rich's level.
@@vinzenzvega4445 I guess it’s just a matter of opinion, I honestly like his podcasts they, for me being the best out of his guests but it’s all subjective to what we prefer as individuals.
In my 20s, i had lots of casual, meaningless sex. At 26, i went to my dr and was tested for everything known to man. When everything came back negative, i turned that part of my brain off. I'm now 46 and have been voluntarily celibate the past 20 years. I am much happier, more self-aware, and comfortable in my own skin. I have zero desire to ever have sex again. I am living my best life - and loving it! Great interview!
I didn’t have loads of casual sex but the early experiences I did have were pretty grim. It’s like I can’t even get horny for men anymore. They just disgust me (in the sexual sense) not that they are all bad people but I just have no desire for them anymore.
It's not a coincidence that in the prime of your life you were wanted, and now that you've clearly gained weight and are older, you no longer have as many options. I'm suspect of anyone coming on the internet who justifies their life, especially while claiming they are "voluntarily celibate".
Yeah I understand because I did the same thing in my 20's too. Funny because I also took a test and came back clean as a bar of 🧼 soap. I was like thank you Lord, because I wasn't using condoms either. I never had an STD, and ain't looking forward to any either. I currently don't engage in sex either. It's like this, when a person engage in sexual relations with others you also engage with the many demons they are dealing with among other issues.
Your honesty is refreshing. I think women were lied to about women being able to have sex like men and learned things the hard way. There is a great article called I regret being a slut. I don’t think it’s right to slut shame people. Much like addictions like drinking sex can be an escape. Celibacy is the way unless you meet someone ready to commit, I agree with waiting 3 months or until engagement.
I decided to delete my Tinder account that I installed six weeks ago today (first time using a dating app) after watching this video. I also haven not received any matches thus far. It's not that I have resolved never to use dating apps again, but I don't think it's the right tactic for me right now. However, deleting it is the easy part, but much harder will be to approach more women, in person, in appropriate situations with a view to dating, etc. I really enjoyed this interview, I found it very thought-provoking.
I have to say, as women in my 60, happily married, that do not Be to hard on yourself if a women says no, to a relationship! Pick yourself up, ask another women! Also go to good places where you’ lol meet women your worth! Also do not rush in a relationship, abstaining is good, self control is a good thing! People have forgotten about this virtue! Look after yourself, present yourself neatly and do not be to desperate! ❤( also stay away from porn!)
Two things: i can assure you, you will not find a woman to get married on those apps; you have to consider the average women. Beauty is temporary and irrelevant to a good relationship.
Same! At the time of my divorce, I had 3 teenage daughters. Even if I had been emotionally ready to date right away (I wasn’t), I chose not to for a number of years until my girls were older. I did not trust that any man who was willing to date me wasn’t actually being predatory about my daughters. It wasn’t worth the risk.
Sexuality is a spectrum. The goal should be to figure out who you are and what your needs are and to find a partner or partners that can communicate and reciprocate what you need consensually and maturely. There are women that are very sexual and independent and that brings them happiness. This person would not be a good partner for a man looking for a monogamous wife. We need to normalize wanting different things and communicating those wants so we match up with the right people. I think the disconnect is people do not communicate their intentions and that causes problems.
I wrote my dissertation on young women and her vulnerability to potentially violent men. So much of what she said in the early part of this talk was basically the same as my findings. Important message here! Thank you for having her on your program.
My personal experiences are on the opposite side of this argument, but I love that you gave the guest ample time to speak without interrupting her. Regardless of your values, no one should ever feel like they have to "go along to get along". Not everyone has as high of a sex drive or enough experience/confidence to advocate for what they want and it must be difficult for women living in Western culture who don't feel like they enjoy casual sex to feel pressured into doing it to keep a man in their life.
I agree with some of the things she is saying, but I can’t imagine going back towards the day of having to get married. I feel at age 43 that I’ve done myself a favor and everyone by learning to mature or become a more emotionally stable human being. I’ve learned and keep learning about relationships, especially marriage because I want to choose the right partner. No one in my life had reflected a marriage I wanted or I thought was healthy at all. If I got married earlier I for sure would have been divorced & relied heavily on my husband to make me feel better about myself due to immaturity & unresolved childhood shit. If I had kids I would have pushed my unresolved shit onto them. I have been alone because I wanted to become a better person. Plus about the casual sex thing, I’m glad I went through it because it helped me understand a lot about myself & how unstable I was. It helped me form my boundaries and to understand what I do want in a partner. My right partner will explore all my sexual desires that I’ve thought about for many years. I don’t do casual sex now because I’m afraid of sharing that with someone who is harmful or has STDs. I need someone I can trust & that takes time.
Just started listening to this and hope Louise will say something about the fact that one in four females have been sexually abused as children, and I think the states for males is one in six. Huge impact on society’s sexual behaviours.
@@k2jnr450 i work in behavioral health, addictions and trauma/PTSD. I would say that number is low. The truth of the matter is I have not met a woman who has not been sexually abused whether it be through work or my personal life.
@@C12341 actually the stats are incorrect. Those are only ones that have been reported. I work in the field and the true stats are tremendously higher for females and males. It would blow your mind.
@@k2jnr450 Out of the 4 close female friends I have had in my life, 3 have been SA'd as children. Didn't find out until I had known them for many years. Only one was full penetr@tion (6yo), one was 'I've been bitten by a spider, you need to suck the poison out" (4yo), one was masturb@tion of the child (6-8yo). Except for one, the other two were a one off. So yeah, I believe the numbers. In fact, I believe the numbers are higher than one in four.
Even when women aren't SA, there are a lot of situations where her safety is never prioritized. I was 4 the first time I experienced the lustful gaze of a grown man. Nothing ever happened because I kept my distance from this neighbor. But just imagine being 4 and knowing what a man's desire and lustful gaze looks like. When I was 8 or 9 I experienced a very traumatic event at the hands of a couple of my cousins that wasn't SA but it was such an extremely violating experience I completely understand the kinds of feelings girls who face SA go through. I had knives thrown at my feet while being restrained. I wasn't strong enough to wiggle my way out I screamed and cried no while I was repeatedly told I asked for it. It's been 40 years since then and I've never been ok. I was forced to pretend everything was ok and participate in family functions and was told my abusers loved me while my needs were neglected. I needed to be protected from people who abused me but I never was.
We have our first winners for the DOAC raffle! We'll be sending out the prizes and all the information shortly. If you want to take part in this raffle, all you have to do is subscribe to this channel. The raffle continues! If you’re subscribed, you’re in the raffle! Best of luck! x
Yay! Though I'm assuming being that I haven't been informed yet I'm not one of the 1st😢... cool though next time LOL
What is the raffle? Sex. I married someone I did not like sex with thinking he wouldn’t control me. He stole my home mortgage in short $500,000.00 plus equity. If we had good sex I may have known better. I was being grifted
@@MelissaFortunesame hon, same 😢😢😢
So so sad. I would have LOVED to win something in this, however I did assume that since there are over 6 million subscribers, I was absolutely not gonna win anything 😂😂😂
Here’s to us next time, hey?!? ❤❤❤🧚♀️🧚♀️🧚♀️🙏🙏🙏
I actually wouldn't mind forgoing the cash and the audience experience. The 10-minute call helps me a lot more. You are such an awesome interview host.
Love the idea❤
She is so right, trust your instinct. I remember, as a 16-year-old girl, we were at our local festive week and on our way home to be offered a lift from a friend of a friend, and I was ushered into his car it was alright; he would drive me home, as we were driving, he said that he just had to get something from his home, he drove to the camp where he lived but then carried on driving into a field he got out of his car and went to the boot of his car. It was dark, close to midnight, and I felt a woosh of fear while sitting in the passenger seat. I just opened the door and ran towards the road took a giant leap over the ditch with water that was bordering the road. I don't know if he was going to do something, but it felt so wrong and strange for him to drive into a field and then go to the boot of his car that I wasn't going to ask and just had a flight response.
Yep, that was a good move.
I’ve heard so many stories like this! And the horrible thing is that you might have prevented something terrible happening to yourself but not to others girls who interacted with this man. And the only way to bring this person to justice is letting the horrible thing happen and surviving it and then for police to find out about it. Which for me sounds horrific😢
Nice story...do you have more?
@@nataliamyliavska8407 Not true. You report it to the police anyway. At least then, if one or more people do the same, the Police will watch him; and at least then, if or when he does commit crimes, they may be able to stop him sooner.
@@nataliamyliavska8407 Yes, but I was young and scared and didn't know him. I did talk to the girl years later who ushered me into his car and asked who it was, but she couldn't remember
Deciding NOT to have sex with just anyone means having discipline ,self-control, also and sexul empowerment..
i agree and i would even argue that that is actually sexual empowerment, you don't just give in to anyone or any whim you have, also you establish a position of "i have something precious i will only give to select people under certain circumstances"
👏👏👏
Yeah both men and women should be picky. I don’t understand why it has become a criticism that someone is “picky“. Find someone you like & trust before you do something so intimate (and risky)
@@btuesdayThat can be solved by a simple honest conversation.
True, but you've missed the point. Young people don't discuss social constructs and rules of consensual behaviour prior to engaging in some casual fun.
Sex is never casual even when ppl try to treat it that way. Too many males and females just don’t understand what they’re really engaging in and opening themselves up to. We need a lot more teaching and talks like this. 🙏🏽⚡️🔥❤️🔥
I never experienced casual sex myself. But just basing on what my friend (Who've been engaging in it) told me, it also has to do with loneliness and trying to fulfill this kind of "need" just because not everyone can even afford time, money and emotion to invest in a relationship. Sometimes it's just the sad fact that people wanted all the benefits in the relationship but not the responsibilities that comes with it.
@@MoiraiScarlet it’s a complete opposite to what you describe. A lot of people actually do have the time money to invest into a to one person but they deem it as too stressful or not worth it emotionally find it taxing so always put more effort in casual sex and persuading women to engage with it 😢
We definitely need more education about consequences. Low self esteem can be a reason for engaging in casual sex.
@@ceilconstante640 True. When it comes to education also, it should be a balance of being conservative and liberated view.
Too much conservative approach would censor people on the important things they need to know. While admittingly, being on the other end of extreme liberation is also the reason why people have been neglecting the basics such as emotional intimacy and unhealthy practices.
People should treat sex with more respect. Not a bargaining chip hoping to hold someone hostage or do anything for it, not even pay someone and hope they'll give you that. It's something only reserved for the person who deserved it.
@@MoiraiScarlet it's not a political issue. It's an issue of looking deeply at choices to avoid negative consequences. And learning about how one feels about themselves and how that reflects on their choices.
The only political issue of today is denial of abortion even if a woman and the baby's life is in danger.
Casual sex just never made sense to me, always seemed like disassociation was essential to making it feel “casual” “comfortable” and “normal”. It just doesn’t add up. Most humans would never share a toothbrush with another human, but having sexual encounters (swapping body fluids sexually, letting someone inside you/ being inside of someone - which literally is the closest you can ever get in all senses, and simply being intimate) is considered less icky/bizarre than that? It just proves that we are conditioned to be casual about our bodies/ minds/ souls in this specific way as a social thing. It’s so backwards. Someone can have sex with you and not actually care about your well-being in the slightest… I’d much prefer to be cared for primarily and know someone intimately (in the non sexual way), then later have sex with that person. It just makes so much more sense, and yet you’re likely to be made to feel like a fool for wanting the latter and not the former😅 This is why I’m a huge fan of not explaining self. Just saying no when someone makes sexual advancements is more than sufficient and that is a culture that should go viral.
Yes yes but we incels are right,women control dating and sex,women have unlimited options,women have all the power,women have it so easy
Also women say so much shit about "oh i only can have sex in long-term relationship because security,trust blah blah"and after 2 years they lose attraction to the man so i dont think women words can be trusted.
Yes totally agree with all of that !
Yes no is a word that we should all learn
You are 100% correct in your statement. But I am curious, who is putting you down for wanting to wait to have sex with the right person?
@@wanderingromance Yes yes but we incels are right,women control dating and sex,women have unlimited options,women have all the power,women have it so easy
Also women say so much shit about "oh i only can have sex in long-term relationship because security,trust blah blah"and after 2 years they lose attraction to the man so i dont think women words can be trusted.
It is bizarre to me that these are considered 'unpopular opinions.' As a woman I completely relate to everything Louise said.
It's unpopular because the voices are shamed by the loudest
Its unpopular because men control what is considered "valid" in society.
As a man, I also fully endorse her opinions
I think it’s because some may view her stance as placing a moral currency on sexuality. I feel like this is wrong. People are different and that is okay. If a woman wants to wait for marriage- that should absolutely be her choice and she should find a partner that supports it. But if a woman wants to be promiscuous, that is also her choice and i don’t view her any less than the one who waited.
We need to normalize understanding that different people want different things and no one is better than the other. Consent and communication are the keys.
Yes but how old and experienced are you? You dont expect the youth have the same experience and wisdom as yourself, right? ;)
'Unpopular' ? Seriously ? What this woman speaks is common sense & of no surprise to anyone able to think critically
Yes. These are also men that don't really want a partner because that takes effort and upkeep
There's also a lot of people who don't have common sense 😕. It is common sense but not a " popular opinion".
Yep
@@Sarah-with-an-Hmore like risk. Men can’t afford the risk of having a woman. We’re viewed as a payday the second they want a divorce, which is initiated by women over 80% of the time. As a result of not taking the risk, the upkeep and effort isn’t needed.
@@Sarah-with-an-H I would add the word unrealistic
before effort and upkeep ------- in a lot of cases
The most heartbreaking thing about this talk is hear about young women who don’t really want sex, go along with it because it’s now the social norm. I hope they get the message, it’s not worth doing something you don’t really want to do just because it’s normal now. Having sex never a way to get commitment from a man. It costs a woman the most and is least effective.
well men want to make it appear normal so the women budge to their desires when they don't care for the lady at all.
That's why so many young females revert to Islam. God loves them and protects them even if their fathers and society failed them.
Yes, I have several lady friends that are single moms. It’s sad because they think they’ll never find anyone to marry. I know there are single dads too but I’m just saying because there are more single moms.
It's not just nowadays. I live in Germany and I let a 20 years old deflower me when I was 15 years old. I didn't want it, I was far from ready to let an other person enter my body. But I sort of planned it, because of the indirect pressure from my friends and peers, who were basically fucking around at this young age.
When I look back now, there are many layers to the causes or reasons why young girls become sexually active, though they don't want it.
But first of all I have to say: the healthier the family dynamics/backgrounds of young girls, the healthier their decisions are.
If your daughter feels save and welcomed at home, the more self respect she will have, because she's not feeling a need to look for "shelter" with people who could harm her.
It's simply and no news.
In my case, I thought I have to please the young man in order to escape my home.
If anybody would have been telling me how much this hurt me for the rest of my life (for relationships and sexually), if somebody would have helped my mother to make me feel safe, I wouldn't have been running either to my friends houses or the young men's.
@@agentin00katz14 I totally understand you.I am from a broken family. For me, when I found a structured religion, everything made sense. Also secularism does not make it easy for people to respect themselves. YOLO philosophy is the worst advisor for a young girl.
She is full of common sense. I’m a divorced man in my late 40s, physically fit and good looking. Naturally finding someone to sleep around was not hard but after trying it with a few partners I have strongly decided against it. Sex is not just only an isolated activity but something deeply emotional and spiritual that I just don’t want to share with someone I met in a bar. One of my ex partners was really gorgeous but despite that I felt empty. I have been oversexed to the extreme by movies, music, social media and so on.
I have decided to focus on raising my children, make myself better and along the way I’m going to meet someone who wants something more than casual sex. And I don’t really care if it never happens .
I agree
@@flugjung I can see that. I get busy on projects and don’t find myself having time unless it was all perfect and fantastic that does comes along I will most likely age out before having kids and won’t add to the numbers because I worry to much about culture norms. But if timing and everything ever perfect maybe but I may be immature because young perfect women are only ones showing interest in a loving way. I am twice their age so I feel funny. The ones my age love the areas they live and I don’t enjoy those places as much as other areas. They are widows and divorces and nice but harmed by last love so I get to much grief women with trust issues or something. I did nothing bad why do I have carry freight of their last love. So I will be alone or married to one too young and my family will rib me about. Guess I should check to see range current society thinks appropriate.
Na I will just find another project
I hope you find your dream woman who values herself more than seeking constant adulation from strangers on these dating apps.
Boys today want to experiment due to easy porn as see girls as just objects for fulfilling their urges
I remember all the sexual encounters I had when I was a teenager, I never initiated it nor wanted to do it. It was always the guy initiating and I went with it because I just thought it was the cool thing to do or I wanted to “please” the guy I liked and all my friends were doing it. I don’t remember a time where I really wanted to do it or not felt pressured.
Casual sex left me with a lot of trauma, I’m in my 30’s now and I wish I was more educated on the subject back then so I wouldn’t have gone through that. I’m happy that you are speaking on this topic cause is SUPER important, parents should teach you these things but sometimes they fail, thanks.
Yes, I experienced no sex education - shame on parents & education system!
yes this is 100% what many of us went through as teenagers. I don't think Gen X was very good parents. They had a lot of weird trauma and I think they thought a more hands off parenting approach was better for us. It most definitely was not. My daughter is 14 and I don't see that so much happening with her. I have been really honest with her what I went through I parent and protect her more
i have no shame in having casual sex in my teens and early 20s. i looooovvveee it! sadly, im 40 years old now, and i'm bored out of my mind with a steady relationship.
The globalist culture has promoted casual sex and many other things that have harmed females
You wanted plausible deniability
Steven is the best interviewer because he really listens to his guests without pedantic comments or obvious judgement. Love his podcasts.
100% agree. He amazes me & also the fact that he always has interesting questions to make the dialogue richer! I love it
Not for this one though I could feel his bias coming through. I think because he’s not marrying his gf and he felt called out 😅
That's why he is successful & he is followed by millions in his channel unlike the annoying people who interrupt their guests forbid them from completing their ideas & took the subjects elsewhere & distract us the audience & annoy us so thank you Steven
Yeah, I just love that he gives no pushback
Even those he doesn't agree with and who visibly irritate him, like in this case! LOL!
As a father to several daughters i fear for the future and consistently work to educate them on trusting your instincts. Excellent episode
You realize what you have done as a man
Show them this video. When I was a teenager I would listen to other adults in authority but thought my parents were embarrassing and annoying
Trust your instincts what a low quality answer. Your daughters will look for a man that share the ideas that you provided them in looking for partner. Parents are the first thing children look for in similar traits. You have to guide them in being selective not trusting their feelings.
@@_nimrod92 although, being attuned to your own feelings and believing that how you feeling is an important piece of data. I think I was raised to dismiss how I felt! I was raised to ignore how I felt
Really good advice. Share with them the book, The gift of fear which goes deep on this
I like how she mentioned being "friends with benefits" can impact decision making. I think this is a huge factor that is overlooked and leads to unhappiness. I enjoyed watching this and wished I'd had something like this to watch in my health classes as an adolescent or teenager. It seems like a useful tool to preserve the mental health of younger and older women.
FWB is super disgusting method for guys not wanting a relationship. An ex friend of mine who I've befriend many years asked me to consider FWB, and sadly I agreed to it in hope to elevate sparks in chemistry....there were sparks alright but he was just using me to get by while flirting with another girl....
Instead, look at what they are teaching in schools from a very young age. Most parents don't know and it's carefully kept from them. One pre teen girl brought home homework requiring her to speak to her father about his $exual function and org as ms. This is in Australia.
I’m so glad someone is finally telling the truth and doesn’t care what society thinks. The fact that it is “unpopular” or “controversial” for a woman to prioritize her mental and emotional health and not give herself away to any guy speaks volumes about how much society has “progressed.” If only more women would come together and be heard because casual sex doesn’t serve us. Casual sex may feel good in the moment but it almost always leaves women feeling empty, used, and unfulfilled. We need to speak up and change the culture.
truth? its an opinion
@JewTube001 and her "facts" are not really honestly presented
@@ОфелияИрина
@JewTube001 are you both Men ? I would really like to know.
@@JewTube001if you think biology is an opinion you are wrong
Let's start with the rape argument. Rape in a partnership is more common than outside. Rape in friendship circles etc. way more common than with a stranger. Rape is mostly about power not about sex, why else would babys or older woman get raped (and yes, that happens).
Maybe women feel empty because they get shamed a lot? Because there is this internalised idea of "I had casual sex, I am a bad person"?
Here's the thing: There should not be pressure on women to sleep with a guy ("third date" comes to mind), but there should not be pressure to not sleep with a guy if both people feel like it.
And yes, listen to your icks - that's the one thing I can get behind. You'd never be able to let yourself be comfortable with a dude you have icks about.
I love that she gave it a name: “empathy gap.” Closing the empathy gap between men and women in both directions is a good first step. Being married for 10 years and raising a son has helped me with that, but growing up with only sisters made me pretty oblivious to the male psyche in my early years.
You can have brothers, as I do and still not understand men.
100%! I wonder though if maybe the reason why women respond to sex in a much more negative way than men do is because of cultures that enable slut shaming? I feel like women for so long were basically forbidden to be able to express their sexuality as free as men and so there is literally generations of shame that's being placed on them.
@@edithead5994 I don't think men respond to sex in a positive way. Look at porn, it is all about destroying and violating women through sex.
@@edithead5994well, it's not only that women were forbidden to express their sexuality, it's also the fact that for a long time there was no contraception.
All women are oblivious to the male psyche
As a young woman navigating the modern world of dating apps, the pill, pornograpgy exc. I've noticed all of these have DEEPLY affected me and my peers in various ways. I am so incredibly happy that she is speaking out about these even though it may seem "controversial"❤ THANK YOU for giving her and her message a huge platform!🙏🏼
Its crazy almost all my friends (female or male) have been „mentioned“ or are rather affected with this
Problem is after porn and dating you still do not know what good sex is and that can damage a relationship dramatically
I mean it's not as if any of this were new. We just choose who we want to listen to and trust in. I think these catastrophes mostly affect women, who simply don't have any decent man in their lifes to learn from and relate to. So they simply would not know any better and listen to the harpies instead.
@@colin562 in my childhood home there was a lacklustre sexual education experience ( school wasn't much better as they used literally blurred/stick-figures ect ) so monogamous married first 90day's in or so was a shock to me mentality 20-26yo~ so im not in full agreement with your views or her's/video's and if i was to give myself advice as a teenager/20's be more open/willingness as after honeymoon is over for the 1st-time isn't worth the risks id say somewhere around the 3d-9th-date/30day's-in-dating is probably a good point ( me-2 is what changes it for me to be more careful-ect and well as the negative outcome of being cleaned out by court's by not test-driving ) to see if bedtime including sleeping+sex-prefences ( one of my shocks was she was closeted bi aka she liked/crush her bestie that i didn't notice at first, she still playing it straight-game not mentally healthy for her or her-partner's-ect ) is a good-fit ect rather than being blindsided by surprises ect
again sexual therapy talking or live-coaching or hand's-on ( 25yo+ and college masters ect and STD testing ect aka well regulated, found out im not talking only i need the in-room help in some form to break silence+bad-habits-ect and for it to stick-longer ) is sometimes valuable to brake bad-habits and yes undagoisted decease's or addicting behaviour's can be helpful to moderation is key, aka yes someone can have a porn-addict or spending$$/time and yes that can wreak marriage's if left untreated sameness for avoiding intimacy/nudity like i have and or uncomfortable being or giving the central attention like bi/polly marriage/commited-3way-sex can bring and or fomo by them separated-dating/sexually activity's but i reminded myself that it's a different experience/type than i can give and it's unrealistic for one of them only to filling my companionship/mental-health-need's or being the best homemaker ect
I could never date a girl who watched porn
This is one of the most important talks I've ever listened to!
It took me til my early 50's to realise this, wish I'd had that much needed guidance in my teens and 20's. The brainwashing of 60's-70's pop culture and peer pressure led to leading a lifestyle that was destroying me.
Please Louise, write that book for the youth, they so desperately need to hear this.
Hopefully the pendulum will swing and young people will come to know the comfort, security, fulfilment and elevation of true intimacy and loyalty.
The whole '60s pop culture, make love not war, love is all you need, "cool" , the music, everything, was a deliberate social engineering project designed to undermine traditional family values, debase intimate and respectful love, remove God and religion (two separate things),.and completely unravel the fabric of a functioning society that had taken thousands of years to establish and which was the cornerstone of stability and procreation and furtherance of our own race and its values. This came down through the Frankfurt School and the Tavistock Institute and infiltrated the churches and educational system (the Long March through the institutions) and look where we are now. On the verge of complete abandonment of all cultural values that made the West strong. Children as young as 3 being taught to explore their bodies and more, unroll a rubber, (please comprehend my careful coding of language) lewdly graphic books in schools and libraries, confusion of what is M and F to the point where one Australian bureaucrat in Senate Estimates asked to define woman mumbled a word salad and said he'd have to take the question on notice. This is where we are. We stand for nothing and are ready to fall for anything. The conditioning is all but complete and full tyranny about to descend. Theosophy and Alice and Foster Bailey played a huge part in all this. Alice talked about a N W O and one world guv decades ago. Media brainwashing esp T V & unHoly Wood did the rest.
I'm 27 and relate to this video so much. I just sent it to my 13 year old sister who, so far, is very true to herself which I love and is a quality I want to nurture and ensure does not get tainted by peer pressure! This video also really goes to show how every generation has their own issues they have to endure. So many people think every generation had it better than the last but that's only true for some aspects of life.
I’m pregnant for the first time and I’ve waited my whole life for this man and this baby and it means the world to me.
CONGRATULATIONS‼️ God bless you and your baby.😊
Congrats😊
Congratulations! All the best guys
...until he bails.
@@jimdandy8996he might not
Steve you are one of the best interviewers out there! No ego, you listen with the intent to learn and understand, no agression, judgement or bias. Great questions and elegance.
I agree, it’s what makes the viewer respect him, his gives respect therefore he earns our respect
Great comment. Listening is one of the best skills and knowing when to ask the right questions is almost an art.❤
Women do not watch porn or buy sex not because they don't like sex as much as men-women enjoy different type of attraction, they do not need visual stimulation as much as audio/thoughts/emotional engagement. Its a different mindset from a mans, more designed to get to know the subject of the relationship.
Exercise daily, eat healthy, and keep busy doing meaningful tasks. Forget about soulless sex with strangers. That's just disgusting.
It's not disgusting but it is possibly unhelpful for some people
what about soulless sex inside a long term marriage or relationship ? many assaults and domestic violence and abuse happens within long term relationships and with men that are known to the women.I'm not advocating "casual sex"or sex with strangers"but your point ignores many of the instances wherein domestic abuse and r*pe often happens.R*ape within marriage was not even recognised or outlawed until the 90's bfore that r*ape within marriage was pretty much normalised.
@howareyou857 it is disgusting, and you are putting yourself at risk for STDs. Get control of your brain. Don't be weak and creepy. Gross.
@@howareyou857
Go ahead and put yourself at risk for STDs. Your body, your choice. 🤮
And those who have sex with strangers are putting themselves at risk for STDs. Use your brain to have control and dignity.
I also love how she touched on how being “just a mom” is worse than having a more respectful proper job. Left my career when I had kids and really deeply feel this
Same here. I feel looked down on.
The people who look down on you would probably not be the best mothers. Some women do better outside of the home. You should never feel badly about being a stay at home mom. You have the most important job in the world. You are helping to shape society.
I went to a college prep high school that was very prestigious. Once I got to college I realized how expensive it was and I stopped going after I got my Associates Degree. I have felt deeply guilty for years about not having a career. But now I have been a SAHM for 11 years and my youngest just started kindergarten and my life is leagues better than it would have been if I'd focused on my career instead of propping up my then boyfriend, now husband. 20 years together this December and he's the only man I've been with. It makes our relationship even stronger.
Always encouraged women to stay at home more, to be there for their children, and be proud of it. I am a teacher (33 years of teaching ) and I can see how much better children and families (and women )are when the mother is there. At least only working in the morning and at home after midday ...
I would give you the same advice as a young person gets when bullied. This is their issue, not yours and you should go on being proud. As soon as you give into the feeling of being less, you are giving them power. Feel pride in being a mother!
I grew up in an Asian country where sex before marriage was very much a taboo and pregnancy out of wedlock was a scandal. I moved to a Western country in my teen years and the culture was so different, I went from feeling the “pressure” to stay a virgin before marriage to the opposite way around where I was feeling almost ashamed of being a virgin in my 20s.
Truth be told I agree with Louise Perry completely.. I’ve never enjoyed casual sex. Not the type who could have one without feeling attached or bonded, so I’d never do it. As I got older I’m now actually proud to have what they would call an “extremely low body count” these days. I think a healthy middle ground is to only have sex with someone when you’re in a committed relationship.
The problem is these days in most western countries a lot of men wouldn’t wait because if you wouldn’t “put out” they’d just go find someone else who would. The key is to have every woman everywhere to stop engaging in casual sex, and you’d see men willing to commit again.
Women are the gatekeepers of sex (and always will be).
AMEN‼️If only all women would come together in solidarity on this issue, I believe we could turn this degenerate culture around!🤨💯
Women would never go back on this behavior, the rebellious factor still prevails. Furthermore, men don't need to worry about religious morality, they can have easy access to sex or they can simply afford a call girl. Once a behavior becomes culturally normal, it is unlikely that the population will go back on that behavior.
Women are (or used to be) the gatekeepers of sex. Before the sexual revolution, if a man wasn't prosocial and loyal to his woman, if he didn't have a job, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to have sex, as Louise said. Because sex was an expression of intimacy, an act of commitment and procreation that preceded a family union called marriage. A woman having sex with a man meant, "Your genes are good enough for me to carry in my womb for 9 months and continue the lineage".
Agreed. I think a lot of women believe that giving sex early will get a guy, who they perceive as high quality, to commit. True high quality dudes aren't going to be offended if you don't give sex early. The only dudes getting offended or leaving to find another girl who will "put out" are not high quality guys. They may be high status or high income, but that does not equal high quality in commitment.
I’m finally glad people are being straight up honest about this.
@petermaclellan9977 They're not being honest. It's narrative. They're trying focus blame, reason for the crisis, at males... but it takes two. If there is a crisis of sexless men then there is also a crisis of sexless women.
Well unless every chad is out there boning 10-15 women a week.
The truth is that there's a crisis of sexless men and sexless women, sexless people.
About what? She is a tosser, uses anecdotal shit from Reddit to push some weird agenda.
Agreed. The modern perception is that people need to go through dozens to figure out the type of life partner they want. Then they search for a 'safe bet', type. Unfortunately, the adventurous one, who is accustomed to a high turnover of experiences, loses the urge to put out long-term because their mind is trained for newness. Maybe they can stay faithful, but by not showing up in the long-term relationship that they chose, they are affectively displaying the damage done from being so free & easy for 15 years before body clock makes them want to change lanes at 30.
@petermaclellan9977 Even the host of this podcast is shacking up with a woman, taking up her childbearing years. He could bolt at any time for any reason.
@@Martin-rh7mf " The modern perception is that people need to go through dozens to figure out the type of life partner they want"
The modern perception is women need to go through the 5% of men who are "acceptable" before she finds her ¢HAD in shining armor...
FTFY
Why this woman is considered “controversial” is quite alarming and says a lot about the society we’re living in today. To be promoting healthy habits, for both men and women, and healthy happy families, what a monster!
I watch almost every episode and this is one of the few I actually finished in its entirety. Excellent guest, very informative and very important episode.
I would find anyone NOT be considered controversial to be alarming in a society. That would mean we do not allow for different view points, life styles, and opinions to be valid and okay. There is not one way to live you life. And anyone who pushes one way of life, is mostly acting in bad faith and just wants power and control over someone else's life. It is important to ALWAYS be critical. Nobody is always right and always perfect. Not being critical is the basis of unhealthy cults.
Nothing she's saying is controversial...
But even someone as forward thinking as her CAN NOT talk about the elephant in the room.
The cause of everything we are seeing with the breakdown of the mating market has absolutely nothing to do with men. It is entirely women's fault. When 8O% of men are literally invisible to 1OO% of women it by definition can not be men's fault. Women are the sexual selectors, the choosers. Women always have been... and women have always been the way they are currently... women have always been choosy and conniving and hypocritical and the more superficial sex. It is just that social degradation and scalability of women's sexual pickiness and caprice means women can be terrible on a societal and even global scale.
There is nothing men can do to fix this. ONLY women can fix this... and it starts with them being honest. Women need to admit that they don't really want a good man or a stable man... they want the hunky "bad boy" and they want to tame him just enough to be HER bad boy.
Once women admit the truth then men (who have always chased women and changed themselves to attract women) will have a clear and plausible target to aim for. Only then will men be able to become what women are interested in... and women ARE NOT interested in good men or "nice guys". Women are interested in bad boys that give them excitement... they only give in to "nice guys" once the clock starts ticking and they haven't locked down a bad boy (because most women can't).
If women start being honest about what they want, a HUGE MAJORiTY of men will still be invisible to women... but rather than 1OO% of women lusting after and only giving the time-of-day to 5% of men... perhaps we can live in a world where 1OO% of women lust after 45% of men. Then relatively stable pair-bonds might return...
Because a society where only 5%-1O% of men have access to women is a society that dies quickly.
Totally agree. This was one episode I couldn’t help but consume in one go. Wish I watched it with someone to discuss it with them.
I was an 18 year old girl when I reverted to Islam. God protects women because he knows us best!
She is not controversial they are hyping that up. This generation is having the least amount of sex. And if you go on TikTok/IG no academics are saying the same thing she is.
I don’t think this should ever be controversial to discuss. It’s how my brother and I were raised as well. Neither of us slept around and it’s because these topics were discussed openly when we were young. It’s not just unhealthy for women, it’s unhealthy for anyone and it shows in society more and more.
" It’s not just unhealthy for women, it’s unhealthy for anyone", it is dangerous for any person, exactly.
Uhm yeah... But waiting till marriage is also not good. I agree still, but I think like just "not sleeping around" is not the point of this convo.
Ok stay virgins then. Stop preaching it to us.
@@silentlee2073 shut up. Seriously.
@@lisaart5301You don't need to wait until marriage but until you're ready. For every person this could be onother age. The society shouldn't be pushing the teens into sex because it's "normal".
Louise, never feel badly about telling the truth. I am a counselor and I get really frustrated with the complaints I hear from women who have casual sex and regret it. Women are so miserable in the western world. They want to be the cool girl, they want to be low maintenance, they want to be open to experimentation, they agree to things that they don't want to do because they feel it's expected of them. They believe that if they are truthful with a man, they will lose him. But they cry many times when a guy ghosts them after they had sex with him. Sometimes they engage in a sexual relationship with a man which goes on indefinitely and without purpose. In the end, the men doesn't commit and she is left to repeat the same scenario all over again with another man. We as women need to change the narrative of casual hookup culture. It doesn't serve us.
Men suck. It's men need to change. Wimen just love and trust but men just use, abuse and leave.
The western world? Please talk about the US if your opinion is rooted in experiences made in the US
@@karinland8533 it's not just the states culturally that this is occuring.
Yes, the cool girl trope is pure poison
Why become frustrated with women when men aren’t responding to the change in culture.
I'm 27 and never had sex. Granted I'm only attracted to people sexually if they have a compatible personality but despite the stigma I have 0 regrets and don't feel a need to.
There's so much that can make us happy other than sex. If you can't engage with it in a healthy way, it's not worth it.
I've seen friends, family strangers all give in and have regret, health issues, put themselves at risk, emotional instability and stress from stress. Weather you meet someone you're comfy with when you're young or later in life, it's worth the wait. Sex doesn't make you a better or worse person and it won't fix problems.
kudos to you. at the end of the day that choice is yours and i definitely understand your point of view
I was 26.5 when I gave my virginity to my boyfriend, who promised to marry me. We both grew up as devout Christian’s, so I trusted him and his words. The relationship got too real for him and he bailed. I was devastated. I have no regrets, but I was disappointed in him. I trusted and loved him and was ready to marry him. Given my experiences with men, until there’s a real commitment on the table like marriage, move carefully with sex. And don’t be pressured by society or any guy. Sex is beautiful when there’s love!
I respect your choice, but I believe the goal shouldn't be to avoid sex. Really do go and try to find a person you might like long term. I wish you all the best
good for you. Sex is not as big a deal as people claim it is. It can leave you feeling really low and depressed because of the lack of connection. People use sex to fill a void in their life that needs to be addressed in other serious and mindful ways.
You claim you have zero regrets and then proceed to spend the entire comment justifying yourself. It’s quite obvious you have serious things to work on, and because of this, you have difficulty attracting a woman.
I read her book last year, and it was huge for me. My whole mindset completely shifted as she supported her case with science and studies to back her up. I’d never heard anyone support their stance without using religion as a backbone, and it was the paradigm shift of the century. Keeping in mind I don’t agree with 100% of her beliefs, but a grand majority.
So correct me if I'm wrong but you're saying if religion would have been used to back up her claims, you would discount it, even though the consequences of casual sex are all around us? And maybe, just maybe religion - even if not your cup of tea was actually onto something?
Huh.
@@hannayaya7413 Hi there, friend. This comment’s purpose is to pump up one heck of an author and a novel that anyone should read from any belief system. You’re looking for an argument where none needs to exist. Yes, you’re right- listening to an argument just based on religion was hard for me because I really love conclusions based on data and research that comes from credible studies. After reading her book, I experienced something called ✨personal growth✨. It’s a lovely experience, really. Personal growth could start for you by not scrolling through people’s comments on the internet, trying to find reasons to be upset. Let’s please get back to what matters- the book was excellent. If you haven’t read it, I recommend the audiobook. She narrated it really well. If you have, then I’d love to get some recommendations on books like this one if you have any? My background is Christian, but I am open to texts of any kind if you loved them.
@@braveandbookish9626 You presume too much. I'm not looking for an argument. I only asked you a simple question because I was curious - you should answer it if you want to.
And not sure if you're deflecting when you say you prefer research and data but you do realise that it is the conclusive evidence of the consequences of the casual, illicit sex that people are engaged in, when tallied together (which is the research) that becomes the data?
Which would also clearly mean that the data doesn't address the problem but merely shows you that it exists?
My point to you is this - maybe God foresaw this problem and tried to prevent it. Diminishing that because you prefer "data" which is nothing but the evidence of the consequences says a lot about what you revere and has no bearing on Universal Truth.
@@hannayaya7413hope you’re having a good day 🫶🏻♥️
@@hannayaya7413 If religion says it they would think its backward, but when its not backed up by religion then its facts and it shifts their mindsets... And becomes interesting although its basically same thing.
I am muslim and I never had sexual relationships outside of marriage, I found them wrong first because of religion, but I knew religion only prevents something if its bad, and thinking about consequences and potential harm of casual sex just make it make sense why its forbidden in religion. But people have criticized us a lot, and i'm surprised that same things are said now but people find them interesting and ots completely different reaction to what we got when we say casual sex is harmful..
I don't get why all the hate
Being just a mum isn’t worse but it is a risk to depend on another person’s emotions for your financial security and to avoid falling into poverty. The speaker is not addressing these elements.
Totally agree! I feel like it’s not addressed because there’s no solution yet
This is why as a man, I consciously override the assumption of a womans interest in me by often reminding myself that it's much more likely shes not interested unless proven otherwise. Seems to work much better for me, leading to less rejection and less uncomfortable interactions. I think more men should realise that. If you think about it, the assumption of a woman being interested in you without much signs is a bit of a cope.
Just dont let that stop you from approaching women. Ive noticed men just do not approach women anymore because they assume they are not interested or they dont want to offend the women. This is a mistake and it leaves women feeling like theres something wrong with them. If men stop approaching women and making the first move, relationships will cease to form.
@@nesta8603 so men need to approach women so women can feel better about themselves? Nahh, women can work on their self confidence instead. Also I don't think it is necessary for all men to feel like they have to approach. I've had several relationships and none of them were from me approaching. Either the girl showed obvious interest or asked me out.
@@nesta8603 those days are gone
@@nesta8603 Maybe there IS something wrong with the women. They are not approachable.
I appreciate your awareness and strategy. In my experience as a woman, there are far too many times where attraction was assumed and it made me feel icky and/or unsafe, and far too little times that I was treated with respect and approached in a way that made me feel safe and valued. It’s a tricky thing when you’re not sure if someone is interested and you don’t want to be rejected. However, I think there is a lot of maturity in being able to assume that it’s a no unless it’s actually a yes. I also think that it gives more opportunity to grow familiarity and attraction organically without the extra pressure.
0:00: ⚠ Risks of casual sex for women, societal pressure, emotional bonding, and implications of waiting for engagement.
8:54: 🔑 Sexual violence and rape are not driven by sexual desire but by power dynamics and age-related factors.
17:31: ⚖ Sexual behavior differences between men and women in casual settings and their impact on culture.
26:01: ⚖ Gender dynamics in dating are influenced by the availability of contraception, leading to conflicts over timing of sexual activity.
34:42: ⚠ Importance of trusting instincts for personal safety highlighted in 'The Gift of Fear' book.
43:29: ⚖ Lowering physical standards in physical roles to accommodate more women can compromise safety and effectiveness.
51:27: ⏳ The importance of delaying sex until engagement due to tradeoffs and cultural norms.
59:12: ⚖ Polygamous systems can lead to social instability due to unequal distribution of partners, while involvement in childcare can lower men's aggression.
1:07:53: ⚖ Challenges of traditional marriage roles, high divorce rates, and impact on children's well-being.
1:16:24: ⚠ Concerns of sexual violence and impact of porn on children, leading to creation of young adult edition.
1:25:04: ⚠ Declining birth rates in South Korea due to cultural, societal, and modernity factors leading to potential population decline.
1:33:41: ⚠ Sexual dynamics, pornography consumption, and dangers of casual sex for women are discussed.
1:42:02: 💪 Evolutionary preferences in mate selection: balance of masculinity and aggression in men.
Recapped using Tammy AI
for the second part (@8:54) she said that rape is not driven by power dynamics. she said rape is driven by biology, and occurring mainly during the time of testosterone peak in men.
@@alexandrastrauser5538 Im worried that narrative may be twisted into some sort of excuse.
They'd a red flag. Rape is definitely about violence and control@@alexandrastrauser5538
@@alexandrastrauser5538 Thank you for catching that. I noticed that mistake right off. The original poster got it twisted around.
Every teenage girl needs to hear this woman.
Why only girls? 😂 u know in order for a woman to “rank up her body count” men have to involved in that 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Yeah become stuck up prudes.
Monogamy was only an absolute for women. Men could have mistresses or visit brothels and women could not divorce a husband because of it because they were financially dependent. Men were only monogamous is they could not afford outside sex. Women having jobs, meant they could divorce men for this behavior, but also could afford to take a lover. So, we should not wax poetically about "the old way". Betty White talked about how the only reason she got married the first time was to have sex and it was a short-lived marriage. Go over to the Cults to Consciousness channel, and all of the women talk about the serious problems they had because they married someone, they did not know well to avoid pre-marital sex. While there might be problems with the current situation; going backwards isn't a panacea either.
You’re so right. Making women reliant on men will surely increase abuse. I recently saw a video made by a woman who chose to be a “tradwife”. She was chaste, dropped out of college, got married, and had children with a man who abruptly divorced her 20 years later to be with a younger woman. She found herself homeless with no job skills or work history. And as you said, a lot of people just excuse the promiscuity of men in the old system, which kind of shows their hand. Policing women’s behavior is their priority.
Most women are still reliant on men and the men women divorce are the ones they never really loved.
Everything she has said is completely true. When I was a teenage girl, pretty much every sexual experience I had wasn’t because I actually wanted to have sex, but because I felt pressured socially that if I didn’t, these guys I liked wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I know there’s girls who didn’t give into these pressures and have had much better relationships monogamously. Now that I’m married, I’ve been able to reflect with my husband on how differently we saw things as teenagers, girls need to be honest and bold to say no when they don’t want to have sex.
And boys need to not take advantage of the extreme desperate validation seeking of girls. They know girls don’t want to. They PREFER that. There’s a word for it. Sorry you were so badly abused.
As a girl who wanted it often and who also felt bold enough to say no, to say when, to say how, to kick fight bite and scream….
They prefer it when we say no. They never listened.
Here we go again, another woman failing to take accountability for her actions, and blaming everyone else
@@successartistry3023you’re an NPC incapable of original thought
sooo women dont have hormones and only do it for show while men are naturally horndogs that should be excused?
@@successartistry3023what are you talking about?
She literally said girls need to learn to be honest, say no, and be bold on their boundaries.
How is that not taking responsibility? Who is the OP blaming?
Can you read😂
I have friends and family who have been involved in the sex industry, and curiously have noticed that publicly they defend it, but in personal conversations with them have confessed feeling miserably trapped...
Ask them do they feel an emptiness within
They probably are miserably trapped. What other skills do they have? Do they have the ability to get another job that pays anywhere near what they get from doing that kind of work? It's hard for many to leave that line of work once in it, sadly. I wish them well and hope they find a path forward that brings them happiness.
They will defend it. Otherwise, they'll have to admit that their whole life is just a big pointless failure.
Louise Perry raised many important issues and observations. Our young folk need to hear this, as do our adults and seniors.
Happy, successful marriages have always been a challenge, pre and post pill. Personal relationships with family and friends need cultivating to increase our chances for happy marriages. Likewise, living a life without marriage.
@@СветланаБайгерова just like "normies" who are married with kids, working corporate jobs. They hate their lives (& hate Sunday nights).
Many people I know don't want kids bc of a failing society. Also, our food and toxins are killing sex drives and fertility due to hormonal imbalance.
Big facts
Facts
Low tetesterone from lack of hardwork but rather sitting all day because of desk jobs or video gaming or whatever men do instead of hard physical work is destroying sex drive. ... along with women acting like psychopathic men ... instead of being femenine and gentle.
Sadly very true
Sadly true facts for the uk 🇬🇧 and This failed society we live in the uk! 🇬🇧
It is a question of intimacy. Intimacy is something very precious and delicate. Sharing it with casual people destroys it so much that eventually it vanishes. You can't open it public, crosse all your inner boundaries, and stay the same.
Agree, which is why i prefer prostitutes over strangers.
I came opened eyed into a relationship with my girlfriend who had two children. I married her and took her kids as my own. Step father I am now yes, but there is a stigma of them turning out as abusers. That shit never crossed my mind. Two years ago my stepdaughter married and I WALKED HER DOWN THE AISLE!
What stigma are you talking about? I didn't understand.
I am talking about the stigma or label that a stepfather is an abuser or molester( physical or mental)
@@reagenarendse9209 Oh. I get it, of course.
Beautiful and blessed day for you further
@@reagenarendse9209unfortunately, the sad truth is that a child's chances of being sexually, physically, and/or psychologically abused increase dramatically the minute a step parent enters the picture. Not all step parents abuse their step children, of course, but the probability of abuse increases. This is mentioned in The Consuming Instinct and on PubMed.
If I had one thing to offer, I would give your video editorial team a lifetime chance to continue working. Your videos change lives.
Prudes 😂
I love the uncomfortable conversation. It is so refreshing to have someone be this honest.
And lookism is a real thing. I work as a labour union counsellor and I have noticed that it is rare that good looking people come in to complain of poor treatment. It’s a fact.
Interesting
What about guys or girls bullying someone bc they are pretty and they can’t have them or feel they can’t have them ?… Idk how true this statement is … because I recently got called cops on me just for doing makeup in a public bathroom the man was the manager and didn’t warn me at all just called the cops … I get poor treatment and get told I look like Avril Lavigne … so I doubt it’s 💯 true that pretty women get treated well bc if what people say about me is really true then just bc I get treated like absolute 💩by men and women doesn’t necessarily mean I’m ugly ya know ?
This can’t possibly be true! I know multiple very good looking women who have been in abusive relationships. One of them was a model.
😮
"Pretty privilege" is the coined term.
Thank you for speaking on women's instincts. It's often looked down on, especially things like "the ick." Sometimes women are unrealistic or judgemental, but our instincts often save our lives. When young girls are taught their "womanly emotions" and judgements are less than, they are more likely to walk into dangerous situations.
Yeah, the book ‘The Gift of Fear’ by Gavin De Becker that she mentions is really great and definitely a recommended read(for men and women alike).
Major respect. If all three of my sons, & my daughter listen as well you do, my job is done. 1st grandchild on the way... I will be sharing this podcast with all 4 of my children, because it speaks the TRUTH.
And what truth is that?
Loved this episode! She was a great guest, well spoken and has a very pleasant feminine energy! Also glad to see the push back on casual sex in our culture.
As a woman it often makes me feel entrapped and powerless in my own feminity when the expectation of sex is looming over my head.
We are not fruits to be eaten and discarded, sex thrives in a loving relationship with respect and honor.
And feels better than the casual one 😂
She is the pits. She says everything and its opposite, hasn't a clue - also used cherry picking with studies. Her sources are anecdotal and mostly rubbish.
You'r conflating casual social sex with a loving relationship. Louise was pointing to the many reasons for different behaviours by people.
@petermaclellan9977 I see your point and it is of course a tricky thing. I do however believe that though cheating might be understandable, it is never justified. A couple has to continuously work on their intimacy to keep the relationship alive. You're definitely right, that that is not an easy task for most people, but that is what makes it so valuable :)
@@I.Reckon I'm not sure we're addressing the same part of this podcast.
Sure she adresses multiple kinds of mating behaviour in humans and though she does an excellent job of not assigning a moral value to them, she does state how different forms of sexual relationships have different effects. Casual sex being a statistical net negative especially on women and their wellbeing :)
I was a virgin when I got married. No regrets. There were some embarrassing conversations along the way when I told men I was waiting to have sex until marriage. They left. It hurt, but just realized these were not patient men who could exercise self-control. That is not someone a woman should want to be married to. Much of life is waiting and needing to be patient, and you should definitely marry someone who exercises these traits. Waiting until marriage for sex is kind of like the first test of someone's self-control, self-regulation, and patience. If you can wait for sex, you can wait for most anything in life. Looking back, waiting for sex was extremely empowering. It was my first step in learning to say "No" to men who wanted to control me. You want to exert you power over men? Don't offer up your body so freely.
Also, on guns, it is the great equalizer for women against men. I recommend every woman have one.
Damn that took an unexpected turn at the end 💀
@@vmb371 haha right!? I won't deny it. She mentioned guns at one point, so I tossed in my opinion. To me, every women should have one for proty. We don't have a physical advantage, so having the ability to protect ourselves and those we love is a must
Just dont change your ways when you get divorced.
Cos 99,99% of women do go absolutely crazy after divorce, even those who were virgins before that marriage.
It's heartbreakingly sad to see.
@@maga-hat709 awe what a sweet person you are to assume that everyone gets divorced. You must be a blast at parties. Huns, if my marriage can make it through two rounds of PPD, one special needs child, taking care of an elderly dementia relative in our house for five years, and bouts of poverty, all in under 14 years of marriage, I am pretty sure we are going to make.
@@72586jejones i'm all for the statistics, my own personal opinions don't matter.
If more than 70% of marriages fail in the USA today, it's pretty fair to assume that everyone who makes that foolish decision to marry someone in the present day western world, will eventually end up in divorce.
It's not just that women don't want to be uncool! They don’t want to be called nasty names or be mistreated with emotional, physical, or psychological abuse. Young women are sensitive to how others perceive them and don’t want to be rejected or ostracized. They try to avoid conflict and rejection. Women don't want things to become adversarial or hostile. As soon as a woman says no, the tone and character of the interaction shift, admiration, and interest evaporate, and men lose the motivation to be thoughtful, respectful, kind, or polite. This is my world experience. Am I wrong??
Women only spread their legs for the man they want and when they find out that man sees them as a piece of meat. That is when they get confused.
Women: Make sure that you state right from your the get go/ first date that you’re only interested in a monogamous relationship. If you notice a weird reaction or hesitancy from him/ them that was the last date.
Make sure YOU don’t negotiate or defend your position. It simply IS your position.
This is best for men as well. That is why men can't understand why, a woman in a sterile couple (usually older couples where one has had a tubal ligation or vasectomy), would refuse to allow the man to stop using condoms. Latex-free sex is very much more enjoyable and deepens trust which for men is the greatest aphrodisiac. A woman that continues to demand condom use is declaring that she and her mate are not trustworthy. That is fake monogamy. People that want monogamy should not accept fake monogamy. It's hypocrisy will eat away at the trust that underpins the enjoyment of monogamy.
lol Let's go with the flow
But what if the woman wants casual sex?
The problem is that women will say that, but not back it up with logically consistent action. A logical consistent action would be to insist on getting tested together, waiting beyond reasonable incubation periods and then to forgo condom use to reinforce trust. Instead, most women simply employ a cynical trust and reliance on condom use. What that tells men is that they are not trusted and that women value the option to cheat more than honesty, intimacy, and shared vulnerability. Of course this does not apply to situations where contraception is the utmost concern. But when hormonal contraception is working well, or either partner has been sterilized, the only excuse for a woman to demand continued condom use is chronic urinary infection syndrome. If the increased pleasure men derived from sex without a condom is dismissed out of hand, then eventually men will seek a different partner. Their logic will be, "She doesn't trust me so why should I trust her? Let me find a more trustworthy woman who can fulfill my deeper yearnings for connection."
@@casamurphy NO MAN is entitled to "forgoing condom use" it is too risky for women in this day and age sorry. Not every woman wants to put her body through contraceptives and condoms can fail. In an age where reproductive rights are being restricted absolutely not, that is not defacto a woman's burden to bare just so if feels nicer for you. SUCH entitlement.
Having worked with women who have experienced sexual trauma, I heard several themes these women shared about. One thing was substances have been used, so they could not consent to sex. The women felt the easiest way to get out of the situation and eventually exit , was to get it over with and have sex so they could get out of there.
Yup, that's the primary reaction. We realize we got ourselves in a crap situation and try to navigate our way out. If they want sex and give us a creep vibe, you don't fight. You let it happen and leave afterwards and learn to be more careful next time. It's a really scarey world out there as an18 yr old with no experience in dating and male psyche... what they want, how they can manipulate you into a situation, how to spot lies, ect..
If substances were used by both parties, does that mean they both could not consent and should both go to jail?
@@user-xd4rs6vr4n ~ Even if inebriation is equal, there's clearly a problem when one party is pushing for sexual interaction and the other is resisting it. And if the person pushing is a femme person, I have an issue with that, too!
In my 5 decades of het dating, I've come to accept that there's a substantial percentage of men -- mostly young men -- who think it's A-OK to PUSH women into sexual interactions. It's like a whole thing celebrated by PUAs and embodied by high visibility men like Donald Trump.
The controversy isn't the inebriation, really. The horrible reality is that too many masc persons are just fine, or even prefer, to push themselves on women. They'll use women's inebriation as one more tool in their toolkit for how to gain unconsensual, undesired sex. And THAT should be shocking behavior to anyone. Have some self respect...
Research on this topic Ive read up to 70% of women will freeze rather than run or fight
Makes sense as men are generally faster stronger
It would be so great if humans were more interested in non sexual interactions and this was the norm, sex reserved for committed couples
@@user-xd4rs6vr4n Ofcourse not because women can take their consent back even after the deed is done.
Excellent episode. The notion of not having women in front-line policing roles (41:50 mark), however, doesn't hit the mark for me. I retired from policing after 30 years and some of my best partners were women. Anecdotally, the mere presence of a female office at a volatile scene more often than not deescalated the situation. Also, much of front line policing is responding to victims, and my experience has been that both men and women respond very well to female officers. As far as fitness standards go: I have never been asked to drop and do a single push up during my years as a front-line officer.
interesting!
Yes that part was really weird. First she explained how women are better in sensing danger wouldn’t that be a very useful asset in police
I have always thought it's a good balance to have men and women because each brings something key to.the role of policing
I wondered if this was maybe specific to the UK. Usually, American police have a partner and are rarely alone while on duty as a beat officer.
Interesting interview in parts however Kinda feel she contradicts herself on a number of points she tries to make. There’s also fleeting “whatever’s” used during statements which in part eludes to her bias towards certain sex. Not convinced that some figures and stats she pulls off as being accurate
I am so glad women like Louise stand up and speak about these issues and teenage girls have an opportunity of a new glimpse to the so called "sexual revolution".
The most awkward "hard" conversations are often the most important ones. Thank you for saying what needed to be said.
This episode is a must watch for the young generation 15-35 age groups, esp. teenage girls.
As a Bi woman this is actually a very important thing for me. I won't date men casually or have sex with them unless I know for sure that if I got pregnant, whether our relationship works out or not, he'd take care of the kid emotionally and finacially with me and generally just be a good dad. With women I'm fine with casual flings and dating because I know there isn't that huge risk of my life being changed by what a man would see as a casual hookup. As a result, despite there being plenty more men I could date in comparisson to women, I find myself dating more women than I do men despite me not really having a strong preferance for either.
Stop lying
You just havent found the right man and when you do I believe all your rules for the suckers so far will go out off the Windu.
Love her! I have raised my 20 yo daughter to wait. To avoid health risks: mental, physical and emotional. My parents never said anything to me about sex growing up. But Nancy Regan’s campaign on drugs (Just Say No) was a catchphrase I followed. Yes, I never did drugs.
Glad this episode resonated with you! ❤️
I'd recommend that whoever wants to marry her, gets a comprehensive STD test for at least 1 year (twice, every 6 months). A lot of people have undetected herpes.
@@stephaniereich1098 honestly as a man, I'm kinda hesitant to bring this up as well... no one usually takes this kind of requisite without a grain of salt...
You should have tried some drugs
@@stephaniereich1098herpes isn't the end of the world but... AIDS is something to be concerned with for sure.
It is weird that in only 20 or 25 years casual sex has become the new normal. When I was young and dating apps did not exist, nor the Internet, sex was not not something you just had with someone random. I remember a few years ago texting with a guy on a dating app, who was mindblown when I told him I had never had a one night stand in my life! When 25 years ago this would have been completely normal!
casual sex was very , very common in the 90s
Yes yes but we incels are right,women control dating and sex,women have unlimited options,women have all the power,women have it so easy
Also women say so much shit about "oh i only can have sex in long-term relationship because security,trust blah blah"and after 2 years they lose attraction to the man so i dont think women words can be trusted.
Didn't this start in the 1960s already, cue 'hippie era'?
Yeah not sure about that mate. Casual Sex started up in the 60s and was rampant through the 70s, 80s, 90s. Definitely not a new norm.
this is an misunderstanding caused by your selective awareness, just because in your individual bubble nobody was hoeing around 20 years ago doesn't mean nobody was doing it, humans have been sluts ever since they existed. what we have now is just an epidemic of vainness and disconnect, everything's shallow and fake instead of true connection we search fleeting dopamine
Correction: sleeping around is almost always dangerous for EVERYONE. Not just women.
Right, but there are still more risks for women. The kind of 'dangerous' that men could face bc of it, are very different from the ones women do face.
You have missed the point. Do MEN get pregnant and have the law restricting their reproductive rights? Are MEN significantly weaker and at risk of being easily overpowered? Are MEN faced with societal shame and losing value just by having sex? NO.
no. men are fine. Because we are built different.
Typical women's response. When there is a discussion about women, it's always women's response - What about men? They do it too. We are built different and we approach problems differently.
@@maxwellanderson007 No, I agree with her. Connected sex is much better than performance sex. Having performance sex leads to a pattern that changes you neural connections, so that you disconnect from the traits that make connected sex amazing.
My husband and I waited till we were married to have sex, and have been married 34 years. I don’t regret not having sex with multiple partners before I was married.
You missed the point of the video. This video discusses how men force women into sex they’ll know they’ll regret and women having little to no power to stop them.
You were lucky you were sexual compatible and that he was a learning committed of guy. Not everyone that marries is actually commutable or emotionally available. Not all
Men try to learn their wives’ sexual needs …
You’re very lucky!
@@XxxX-wx3ersay what?!...u missed the point
Great but this was also like 35 years ago.. Times have changed.
@@JohnPretty1 Curious - what was triggering about her comment that prompted you to respond with this?
I have read her book and I liked it. Having said that, this is a very complex topic that most of us desire a simple answer for and that will never be the case. People are complicated. I was a virgin when I got married at 22. I was happily married for 28 years until my wife unexpectedly left me after our youngest child graduated from college. She simply stated that we had grown apart. No infidelity, no abuse accusations, she simply wanted a different life. I was exhausted from trying to give her and the kids the life I thought she wanted. If I had ANY idea that this would happen I would NEVER have made the choices I did to wait to have sex until marriage. Here’s where it gets complicated. Because I lived the life I did, only being with one woman by the age of 50. A much younger woman I work with (who knew my former spouse and my kids) asked me out immediately after my wife left. We’ve been married now for seven years. She said it was my old school morals and sex mores that compelled her to make the first step to ask me out. She said guys like me are not in the dating pool anymore. Like I said, sex norms are complicated.
Lol, you married again. Good luck with that. If 28 years didn't make her stay, and the richest most famous men can't make em stay... what chance do you really have?
@@Oliver-Closeoff Each women is different. The fact the lady made the first move and knew things ahead says a lot about her character. Some might be skittish to even ask the guy even knowing half of it.
Even if one person gives you a bad experience, it doesn't mean that others will.
Funny thing is it doesn't matter what I write here no one will ever read this and apply to anything in their life which makes this whole comment a waste of my time. All people will hear is whatever those two in this video are talking about, that is a problem in itself. Every sentence they say should be taken with a pinch of salt.
Here is what I think.
Trying to generalize everything is a problem. People still think that they can ban something from happening when making it even worse because the resource becomes scarce and considered more valuable which increases consumption of that resource. Opening everything is a good thing as I believe an educated person knows what is best for him after 16 years old and all your attempts to stop the kid from doing what he learned during those 16 years is meaningless as nothing in the World will stop him from getting what he or she wants. For example, If you learn from early days as a kid that it is good to eat humans and be cannibal, they won't know anything else apart from that and consider everything else not a norm, so parenting and education is the key here. How can you hide a child from sex till 18? For 18 years you need to dodge porn, other sex attractions and finally somehow find your soulmate and have first sex in 18 years or a bit later when you actually involve the government in the equation by getting married? In an idealistic World that might work, but in reality children start practicing sex as early as they can and approach it as a skill rather than some problem we need to fix as a society. If you stop children from experience of sex, it will increase pornography consumption significantly by those children. Also sex is a driver for children to become good looking as they have an aim to make their bodies look good so the other person likes it which increases the chance of mating. If you take that part away from them early in life, you will have a child in his 40s still virgin and that is a problem. Also it suggests that parents are hiding their own sexual life from the child by making it silent or hidden which decreases the quality of that.
@mykewilliamsdorsey2727 you did a good thing for yourself by switching a partner early after divorce and this is healthy. An alternative would always be loving and serving a person who doesn't care that you exist. Though to wrap your head around your partner and suggest early that she should date/merry/live with different kind of a person would be a cool thing to do but unrealistic as you love that person at that time and don't want to let her go...
Take GOD out of the equasion, and there goes the trade and result of greed, self centered love, lust, and sexual fornication, leaving many confused, without a clue to how people really lived in a traditional way of family life, which was lived more abundantly before the mid 1960's, where now there is no recourse with much more confusion and misery between Men and Women in the World living in alternative lifestyles...
been there done that in the 90s- it’s empty. And it makes you feel more lonely afterwards than you were beforehand. That’s not even getting into the fakeness of it or the awkwardness.
Staying married in a bad marriage can traumatize a child. My parents were very unhappy with each other and fought daily for years. It was awful and negatively impacted everyone in the household. I would have been better off if they had divorced. Also, I would not decide whether to have a kid or not because of what this woman, any other person, or society said. That's a personal decision.
Why do you think divorce under such cercumstances would be bad thing?
@@lenzi1345it is stressful and traumatizing to children.
Nobody is saying people should stay in bad marriages. They saying we are *creating* more bad marriage because removing consequences of bad behavior. So people aren't behaving in ways that lead to happy lives.
@@jasonmacfarlund2703 a really Bad relation ship also.
I whish that everyone would look for very well fitting partner.
And when you have a problem in a relationship you seriously try to fix it from both sides.
Their ate exceptions when it doesnt work and their is much more fighting and harmony is gone.
Some people are not able to overcome the problems.
But it all starts woth choosing the wrong partner
@@lenzi1345Too often, the big issue is that we may not realize that we chose a bad partner until after the wedding ! It’s too late by then!
The Dating couples are, typically, on their best behaviour ! Also, many young people are naive and are inexperienced in having a serious committed relationship!
A good dating partner does not necessarily translate into a good marriage partner!
Nor is marrying into a conservative, religious, respectable family translate into a good marriage! Many families have secrets and public personas!
Can honestly say that i have never had casual sex.
It simply has never appealed to me.
I prefer to get to know a woman, have a connection with them that can develop, and take the time to learn what gives them real pleasure, mentally, emotionally and physically.
I prefer Serotonin to Dopamine.
But i know that makes me rare, as a man.
Not really.
It makes you a f@@l 😂
It's extremely rare. But it's very refreshing to see a man who values a woman beyond just sex.
Very rare in military towns with a lot of young single men and lots of divorcees.
Sounds like you are more towards the feminine side of masculinity. Nothing wrong with that.
These are the conclusions I came up to a while ago. Ever since 2022 I have been celibate and it changed me a lot in a positive way, despite being a woman with a really high libido. Even though I didn’t have issues with my self esteem, my sense of self worth has grown dramatically as well as my sense of integrity and equilibrium
Exact same situation, been celibate for 3 years, has helped me immensely!! And I also have a huge drive, but denying myself now and not actively seeking relationship partner/lover has helped me so much
Well, your sense of worth may not be matched by others, especially if you have had many partners before.
Women always say that after they have been ran through by hundreds of men, it dont really count aftwr the fact. Thats like a serial killer on deathrow now saying he has changed his life.....🤡.
@kseniaverlaine ...same 🎉✨️🤎
Celibacy allows the brain to operate as it should...🤷🏾♀️ no transference of ugly energy
A big part of the reason this is becoming so prevalent is because TV shows and movies are constantly showing two people who barely know each other jumping into bed at the slightest sign of any sort of connection between them. It’s ridiculous.
She is speaking truth. I think we underestimate how much stronger men are compared to women, and in a private setting how men can impose their strength and over dominate in a situation. Not saying rape but definitely not wanted and enforced anyway.
Truth!
Yep, this happened to me and I'm still trying to make sense of it, I confronted the guy about it and he dismisses me. We no longer talk but I'm literally fearful of men and being alone with them at this point.
Its not seen as rape but the research shows 70% of women will freeze appearing to consent
There can be no implied consent in a power imbalance
If a woman isnt directly openly consenting theres a pretty good chance it is RAPE that will go unreported the damage is done
This interview was a breath of fresh air. It feels like those of us who still believe in traditional ideologies are being shoved into a corner and forced to change our beliefs.
But the fact is, you aren't. You can still hold your traditional beliefs and try to teach them to your kids. I agree on a lot of what Louis Perry said in this video but if I had the voice one skepticism I had was that a lot of traditional societies who enforced this monogamous rules also literally left no room for a lot of what people might've wanted to practice in their own individual lives (other religions, gay rights, equal access to general societal priviledges). Just as a random person has more rights living in the west than they might have living under an Islamic state, you have more rights under a liberal government than an average person might have under a conservative/theocratic state.
@@weidchar1646with freedom comes responsibility
@@wLBlue how does that address anything from my comment?
@weidchar1646 it's a deeper conversation...ur comparing more " freedom" in the west to Islam. Many privileges and freedoms in the west are at the cost of others being responsible. Check single mother's etc.
@@wLBlue I'd argue that a lot of these problems can largely be mitigated if people are accorded with the proper education around them. My concern with most of the solutions provided by conservatives is that it seems heavily rooted in a desire to go back to a time where minority groups (lgbt, other religious/non religious groups, and folks who didn't want subscribe to a specific set of norms) were punished or persecuted for their specific lifestyles and seen as less than human. If it is not, then I'd argue it is in large part due to adopting to a certain liberal mindset.
As a 33 year old virgin, this makes me feel a bit better.
27 virgin too male self control gym and health insurance
Honestly, you're not missing a thing
Let’s be honest, you’re not missing out on much. And adult toys are fantastic 🎉
Not a virgin, I do have some toys and they actually feel better than the real thing objectively on a pure sensation comparison, but it doesn't replace a living human with her weight on you, her smells, breathe, sweat, her slender gentle hands, voice, warmth, heartbeat etc etc. To replace all that with a toy, you would need a sci-fi level android that simulates all the gross stuff like saliva, sweating, and smells. Then again I know some people who would rather watch porn to get off than a willing girl in the next room 😂
Here here 🥂
She's so knowledgable and talks reason on so many taboo topics while remaining compassionate to both sides. I wish we could have more of that in our media, private conversations, everywhere
Choosing not to engage in sexual activity with anyone signifies discipline, self-control, and sexual empowerment.
Listen to the video. It’s about men forcing and pressuring women into sex they can’t fend off.
or just follow the law.........cause if the women say no......well ....that´s all she wrote isn´t it?
@@alexaraya2018 unlike if the man says no
something very young people often dont have developed yet
@@jenniferotto8894 as a result of poor parenting
I'm a male film and TV editor, frequently cutting narrative, documentary, factual or magazine content which pretty well always requires me to constantly evaluate human behaviour for it's presenting explicit meaning and implicit or subtextual or even subconscious elements. I've done it for over 30 years in a fairly healthy career so it's fair to say I'm pretty competent at evaluating human character at different levels. Yet I find it fascinating that my wife, specifically her intuition, is still better at picking up very subtle cues of character, than me. She has a facility, which once most would have accepted as 'female intuition' which seems psychic - just an ability to guess whether a person has a dark streak, or lonely, or a bit needy, or mean with their money or any number of other traits when they've not said much more than hello.
I've met many other people who have made this observation.
Do agree. I have this and my mother does as well. Not all women have it (or trust their instincts), but I'd still say it is a female trait. Men just aren't as attuned to subtle emotional stuff, which is what I believe we women are picking up. Like if someone has sketchy intentions, that does comes with a particular frame of mind/emotional state, which can be sensed.
On the other hand, I'd say men are generally better at resisting social contagion and also better at understanding systems. Example, men understand better social reward systems and how they impact behavior. Women are more likely believe people are so inherently good that they would not exploit social benefit systems or act against common good when it benefits them.
Seeing how many women end up in abusive relationships is one factor that has eliminated my belief in “female intuition”. It’s very believable that women are more attuned to certain small details that men aren’t, but I don’t believe women are inherently better at identifying what those details represent.
@@firstnamelastname7708Abusive relationships are complex, and many people - especially men - judge it purely from a black and white perspective, because they don’t seem understand how an abuser can possibly be charming, generous or sweet.
But that’s _exactly_ how abusers lure women in; by being charming, generous, affectionate and just an outwardly good person. Relationships rarely - if ever - start out abusive. No woman goes into a relationship willingly if she knows she’s going to get beat up or psychologically abused. It’s a gradual escalation and in most cases trauma bonding occurs.
Trauma bonding makes it easier for a victim to survive within the relationship, but it can severely undermine the victim’s sense of self, their ability to accurately see danger, and impairs their ability to see alternatives to their situation. During all this, the abuser almost always makes sure to limit or whittle away their victim’s social connections, be it friends or family - even coworkers - because it means potentially losing control over this person they abuse.
@@firstnamelastname7708
In case you’re unaware, trauma bonding is a strong emotional connection that develops between the victim and a perpetrator in an abusive relationship. This develops because in an abusive relationship, an abuser can be frightening and hurtful, but he/she may then be intermittently kind, e.g. giving presents and affection, or even stopping the abuse for a period of time. In these moments, the victim feels a rush of gratitude and love for their abuser and feels relief that the abuse has ended. The rescuer and the tormentor are the very same person, which means the bond becomes deeper than other healthy relationships as they start to depend on the abuser to survive.
Through trauma bonding, the victim can lose their own beliefs and identity and instead takes on the beliefs of their captor in order to survive. She believes that his behaviour is the result of a flaw in herself and turns inwards to try and resolve this and works harder to please him or her. Often, a victims’ sole goal becomes the abuser’s approval. Interactions with others become hollow and superficial as a result. A woman will often become less argumentative in order to survive.
And once a trauma bond is established it can become difficult for the victim to break free of the relationship, because they’ve become so dependent on the abuser(socially, financially, emotionally etc).
@@EmDaMo I think my comment came off to you in a victim-blamey way and that wasn’t my intention. I don’t blame the abused for getting abused. My point was only that abuse of women is so prevalent that I think there can’t possibly be a reliable “female intuition”. It’s not women’s fault they can’t clock an abuser or even notice some red flags, but the very fact that they don’t notice them and can’t perceive the early-stage tactics means that they are not gifted with especially powerful intuition. I’m really happy you responded to my comment, because it apparently gave the wrong impression and I needed to clear it up.
I love what she's saying, what an amazing person. She wasn't degrading anyone. She spoke her truth. Amazing lady❤❤
I am teaching high-school. In a volunteering programme I showed them the percentage of underage mums in Romania and also some explicit pictures of sexually transmitted diseases, I told them when drinking with groups to never lose themselves because one fun night might turn into a tragedy. I was double questioning myself if I should approach this matter because “freedom” now is acceptable. One of the girls came to me and told me I was exaggerating. Fast forward several months later she asked to meet me privately, broke up crying saying she was almost SA at a party by one of her closest male friends and by luck she escaped. Her mate remembered what I told them and warned her about keeping her drink safe and in her hand. That one went safe and sound home and this one got traumatised. Her tears were terrible. We are not exaggerating, especially with teenagers.
It is riskier because women get pregnant period. Even having the option of abortion sometimes women face complications and even die from the procedure. My father use to say “There is nowhere you need to go that I can’t drive you.” And later on when I got a car he said “Never be alone with a man you don’t mind having a baby with.” This advice is old fashioned but it keeps you safer than taking rides from strangers and sleeping with men that have no regard for you in the end.
Yes, this sort of advice was common for Gen X. Stranger Danger was never about blaming the victim as it is percieved now but as self protection and preservation for women in public spaces.
it is also the principle I as a man function upon... The only woman I want to lay down with is the one that I dont mind raising kids with... all seggs comes with the possibility of life...
That kind of advice is disgusting. How's about, never leave the house, never travel, never work, never take a walk by yourself. Teach young men not to perp on women, rape is a crime, and no means no.
@@MarthaCast i traveled alone but always took precautions. I worked but never and manny times was the last person to leave the building but always let security know I was in the building alone. I was always aware of my surroundings. Per company policy after a certain time of the evening we had to get an escort to the parking ramp if it was out of company security range. Take walks but never in deserted places. I have lived a full life. I grew up in Miami in the 80’s. I can count so many young women that have been raped because they didn’t take precautions. Rape is wrong, but just because something is wrong doesn’t stop people from doing you wrong. Take care of yourself. There is a law that protects investment it’s called what a pro debt person would do. I use the law for all aspects of like.
@@rlizabethcastillo5541US is a crazy place. Those precautions that you state are appropriate for some third world countries - not regular civilized world.
Feminism is the right to inherit land, get a credit card, leave an abuser, not promiscuity.
Just wanna say, I believe this too. I think that’s initially what it was for. But don’t you think that these things have been overshadowed by promiscuity ? I guess this could be due to people emphasizing the wrong feminists.
Exactly 💯🤣
Honestly, no. I’d also like to point out that women have been abused by their husbands, boyfriends, and long term partners. A “committed relationship” does not equal safety, sadly.
@@mortviolette284 were you responding to the og comment or someone else? Cuz it looks like we’re all in agreement 🤣
The Oprah comment she refers to, in 35:00, I saw the episode. It was a man who did security for high ranking officials or public / wealthy ppl etc. He wrote a book and became a consultant. His years of observation made him realise that women have a natural inclination to know when they are in trouble or trouble was about to happen them. He encouraged lwomen to follow their instincts because unlike men, they were right. And typically women and mostly men would see that as a weakness and shut it down as being paranoid. The rate of women being right in his research was extremely high.
Gavin de Becker. The story he told where he compared us to the animal kingdom stuck in my memory. If a gazelle sees a cheetah in the wild, it doesn't worry about hurting the cheetah's feelings by running away. It doesn't think back feeling regret about shunning the cheetah. It gets the heck out of that situation and doesn't reflect on or question their decision.
Yet human women sometimes feel bad about hurting feelings or rejecting men that they get bad vibes from.
People who engage is casual sex with strangers absolutely blow my mind🤯. I can’t even imagine …
True thats why i prefer prostitutes over judgemental karens.
I can totally relate. I will say that having unwanted sex taught me to say no because I never wanted to feel that way again. But also drugs played a big part in not caring how I was treated and now that I'm in recovery I have found my true self and not allowing myself to be abused sexually. My boyfriend and I are hoping to get married I'm 35 have never been married and he's my best friend. ❤
You mean the man you had sex with didnt want to commit and you regretted the encounter?
Thank you for providing this perspective. The media keeps promoting sex as meaningless fun that should be spread around without any thought among strangers . There is very little regard for the consequences: emotionally, psychologically, and health wise. Unwanted pregnancy and STDs are treated as minor or non existent issues. Socially, many men feel entitled to sex within the first few dates, otherwise they stop calling. There are many other problems created by sexual irresponsibility.
...the media...
@@justusschwabedal5924Do you have a learning disability?
@@justusschwabedal5924Do you not understand???
I'm just trying to point out something I think is inadequate. Are you thinking about "Sex and the city"? You might be right. If you think about the Wallstreet Journal or CNN I'm a bit more doubtful. If you consider "Diary of a CEO", well here we go :)
So there's no need to get angry at the whole industry. Is that fair for you?
@@justusschwabedal5924haha you're bored. Desperate to have an argument
Having a woman with a diamond ring at home has never stopped a significant number of men from 'connecting' with other women behind their partner's back - this is particularly true when she is pregnant.
Oh jeeeez yes! The ring is really just to dance correctly to the social expectation's tune. Off they then go have even more seeex with single women or men as a matter of fact. Very common for most a.n.a.l. lovers.
Yep and also woman on men, we are not designed to stay with one person all life it is a completely flawed concept ... just check divorce rates online
Women too. From what I have seen, women have caught up with men in Gen Z when it comes to cheating.
I think idea of men being the dominant cheaters is generation dependent. The people who tend to assert that men cheat more IME are Gen X or above.
Same thing with women. Taking into account the laws, women have absolutely no responsibility for adultery. In fact they probably will profit from the devorce
Exactly. Their sexual hunger is uncontrollable.
I agree with most of what she's saying, but growing up in a strict Christian community I saw so many young people rushing into marriage just so they can have sex. Also women have all the pressure to stay a virgin and feel massive shame if they 'mess up' whereas men don't seem to at all.
lol men get shamed when they are still virgins, that is no pressure???
WOMAN IN POLICING: domestic calls are among the more common and complex complaints handled by police officers. Woman are proven to be better at engaging in effective communication to de-escalate otherwise violent situations compared to male counterparts parts especially in domestic calls where the situations are often more psychologically and emotionally complex in nature… we don’t need every situation dealt with brute force, violence, and quick to pull the trigger. Communication and de-escalation Strategies that women tend to bring in our police force is a positive benefit to society.
That's true. But perhaps it might be that the man in the man/woman domestic situation know that you'll probably bring an unconscious bias in favour of the woman, so he has to calm down for his own safety. (I'd be curious how this plays out for you in the most violent of domestic situations; lesbian realtionships/marriages?)
this is pure cope as they tend to be the worst in such situations and there's stats to back this up...
Most criminals have low empathy or may be sociopaths. Emotional and social skills dont work on them
She is acknowledging that there is a place for women in law enforcement, just not in the frontlines. In domestic examples, as you have pointed out, if communication is ineffective, now you are dealt in a situation where not only the victim is in higher danger, but also a higher chance the woman police officer might be overpowered, so now you have 2 potential hostages/victims.
Also, take into account other areas beside domestic calls in law enforcement/military, especially military where you have more definitive objectives and de-escalation is not an option in some situations. Not even mentioning the heavy machinery and weaponry that women must be able to carry around without slowing the team down.
In these situations, I would say that keeping the majority of women in support roles/long distance combat roles (not necessarily just medics/nurses) would be a better option. Maybe as part of the sniping team. Less chance of close combat engagement.
I’m 4yrs out of a coersive controlling marriage and have taken the time to heal and work on myself! This year I entered the dating scene, which is very different from 24yrs ago, and I’m finding dating apps are perpetuating this casual sex culture! I’m 48yrs old and absolutely not interested in hock ups or casual sex, but men my age still are. It’s very off putting and I’m glad I’ve done the work on myself and I’m now happy with my own company, because the current options to date are not enticing at all! Thanks for a very interesting discussion!
I'd be curious to learn what you deem controlling...
@@KennethFabritius its a used up feminist pay her no mind. They're all like this .. they eat the jwsh progaganda of equality and file for divorce
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
LOL. They're not interested in you either. w0-MEN are over the hill afer 28
@@josephesposito3499 shut up old man, stop yelling.
What she’s saying is spot on. People that disagree with her just don’t like being told that there is such a thing as truth that requires order and discipline to be beneficial.
exactly..
Thank You from the millions of us for speaking the TRUTH !
Don’t be afraid , we’re behind You , someday beside You !
Perhaps one of the reasons why we've learnt to adopt socially trending 'icks' is because we have lost the ability to trust/ listen to our own. I agree with Louise - practice listening out for your own 'icks' - learn to listen to and trust your own intuition. Social Media has dampened our ability to do this. We are so reliant on the opinion of others.
One of my biggest icks that pretty much eliminates the vast majority of the human population is alcohol.
@maam-yj8ph oral hygiene and criminal records
big 'ick' for me is a girl addicted to social media 😂
I just watched your interview with Evy, how you talked through DEI and a few minutes later you navigating an extremely polar opinion. It's mind blowing how gracefully and non judgmentally you listen to others, very beautiful to watch and sure is a hard skill. Hats off to you!
I work in a lab and if people knew that casual sex/non monogamy is affecting their health long term they might change their ways.
How does it affect the health? STD's of course but what else (as if that isn't enough already)?
@@ilsedemolder3973 possible infertility, cancer and emotional turmoil from finding out you have an sti. I have seen such a level of distrust among the sexes now because of sexual freedom. Look at children whose parents do not know who the biological father is.
Hepatitis B, HPV, Herpes never go away. Medications for these STDs can destroy your kidneys after a long time. Untreated they slowly do damage insidiously that won't be apparent until old age. Untreated hepatitis B will just plain out destroy your liver. Their is no positives
No it does not affect pple..relation fukcs up pple
@@puabi666 Higher risks of cancer, sti's, hiv. These things affect you long term.
I wished she talked more about women’s sexual desire. She talks about waiting, talks about what happens when men are sexless…but what about sexless women? I feel like she doesn’t address women who have sexual desires. It’s not as simple as waiting, especially when you are single an indefinite amount of time
When she said that women shouldn’t be in combat roles, I questioned her. Steven gave a really good example of how a woman de escalated a situation. I feel like that women is providing info from a very narrowed perspective personally
It's clear what men do when they're sexless and frustrated. Do you know what women do in that case?
As a woman talking about a women's sexual desire is painful because then they will wake up the majority of men and women dont want to wake up those suckers.
Her input on polygamy, monogamy, divorce and step-parents is very compelling. Thank you for this.
Educate also the men and the fathers of the men to not encourage them to pressure girls and put the act of conquest as priority, because of the pressure of the male group he is in. It's not right to put all the responsability on women.
No. you do you, they will do them. you dont care about them, they dont care about you.
It's not conquest, it's usually extreme horniness and hormones driving that. women truly can't appreciate the sheer driving intensity of the male sex drive. It's relentless. Only when men get older does it begin to calm down.
@@CyberPunkBadGuy this is what she meant about the empathy gap. And you are d4lusional if you think this doesn’t affect m4n.
No. You are strong and independent. You can do what men can. Just own what you have been preaching the last 70 years. There used to be a system that protected you women. But you the last 60-70 years destroyed all the societal barriers and guards. Now deal with the mess you created on your own.
This! There’s no education for young men on anything, especially matters like this!!
So it’s obvious that Steven Bartlett is one of the best interviewers in the world. He really allows his guests to organically speak there minds.
I think he rushes to the next question
I disagree.He's not bad.
He has a lot to learn and is still young.
Now someone like Rich Roll podcast.He's a man who knows how to do podcasts.
Simon is nowhere near Rich's level.
@@vinzenzvega4445 I guess it’s just a matter of opinion, I honestly like his podcasts they, for me being the best out of his guests but it’s all subjective to what we prefer as individuals.
Genial, man ist nicht alleine mit diesen Gefühlen und Gedankengängen. Echt mutig darüber zu sprechen.
In my 20s, i had lots of casual, meaningless sex. At 26, i went to my dr and was tested for everything known to man. When everything came back negative, i turned that part of my brain off. I'm now 46 and have been voluntarily celibate the past 20 years. I am much happier, more self-aware, and comfortable in my own skin. I have zero desire to ever have sex again. I am living my best life - and loving it!
Great interview!
I didn’t have loads of casual sex but the early experiences I did have were pretty grim. It’s like I can’t even get horny for men anymore. They just disgust me (in the sexual sense) not that they are all bad people but I just have no desire for them anymore.
It's not a coincidence that in the prime of your life you were wanted, and now that you've clearly gained weight and are older, you no longer have as many options. I'm suspect of anyone coming on the internet who justifies their life, especially while claiming they are "voluntarily celibate".
This is why sex is never causal and a reflection of the true reality of promiscuity. Every girl pretends as if they are having the time of their lives
Yeah I understand because I did the same thing in my 20's too. Funny because I also took a test and came back clean as a bar of 🧼 soap. I was like thank you Lord, because I wasn't using condoms either. I never had an STD, and ain't looking forward to any either. I currently don't engage in sex either. It's like this, when a person engage in sexual relations with others you also engage with the many demons they are dealing with among other issues.
Your honesty is refreshing. I think women were lied to about women being able to have sex like men and learned things the hard way. There is a great article called I regret being a slut. I don’t think it’s right to slut shame people. Much like addictions like drinking sex can be an escape. Celibacy is the way unless you meet someone ready to commit, I agree with waiting 3 months or until engagement.
I decided to delete my Tinder account that I installed six weeks ago today (first time using a dating app) after watching this video. I also haven not received any matches thus far. It's not that I have resolved never to use dating apps again, but I don't think it's the right tactic for me right now. However, deleting it is the easy part, but much harder will be to approach more women, in person, in appropriate situations with a view to dating, etc.
I really enjoyed this interview, I found it very thought-provoking.
Pornhub still going strong ?
I have to say, as women in my 60, happily married, that do not Be to hard on yourself if a women says no, to a relationship! Pick yourself up, ask another women! Also go to good places where you’ lol meet women your worth! Also do not rush in a relationship, abstaining is good, self control is a good thing! People have forgotten about this virtue! Look after yourself, present yourself neatly and do not be to desperate! ❤( also stay away from porn!)
If you're not one of the top 5% attractive men apps are just a waste of time.
Two things: i can assure you, you will not find a woman to get married on those apps; you have to consider the average women. Beauty is temporary and irrelevant to a good relationship.
1:12:00 reason #1 I chose not to remarry after divorce, as a mother of a beautiful daughter who is my #1 priority
You're a good mom. Bless you.
You are using your daughter as an excuse to hide your inability to have a healthy relationship with a man!
Same! At the time of my divorce, I had 3 teenage daughters. Even if I had been emotionally ready to date right away (I wasn’t), I chose not to for a number of years until my girls were older. I did not trust that any man who was willing to date me wasn’t actually being predatory about my daughters. It wasn’t worth the risk.
@@christinevr7698 You are no longer young and desirable.
Are you lonely?
Thankyou for having Louise Perry on! She is so spot on! We need to have these important discussions!
Sexuality is a spectrum. The goal should be to figure out who you are and what your needs are and to find a partner or partners that can communicate and reciprocate what you need consensually and maturely. There are women that are very sexual and independent and that brings them happiness. This person would not be a good partner for a man looking for a monogamous wife.
We need to normalize wanting different things and communicating those wants so we match up with the right people. I think the disconnect is people do not communicate their intentions and that causes problems.
Very well said. And inviting guests who are virtually biased when it comes to actual debate on these issues only makes things worse.
This is 10 times better and more useful information than anything I heard in this interview!
@@stephenwood2172 so true!
Looks like you don’t have a clue about women…
I wrote my dissertation on young women and her vulnerability to potentially violent men. So much of what she said in the early part of this talk was basically the same as my findings. Important message here! Thank you for having her on your program.
I'm doing a criminology degree and think that would be a very interesting read!
My personal experiences are on the opposite side of this argument, but I love that you gave the guest ample time to speak without interrupting her. Regardless of your values, no one should ever feel like they have to "go along to get along". Not everyone has as high of a sex drive or enough experience/confidence to advocate for what they want and it must be difficult for women living in Western culture who don't feel like they enjoy casual sex to feel pressured into doing it to keep a man in their life.
I agree with some of the things she is saying, but I can’t imagine going back towards the day of having to get married. I feel at age 43 that I’ve done myself a favor and everyone by learning to mature or become a more emotionally stable human being.
I’ve learned and keep learning about relationships, especially marriage because I want to choose the right partner. No one in my life had reflected a marriage I wanted or I thought was healthy at all. If I got married earlier I for sure would have been divorced & relied heavily on my husband to make me feel better about myself due to immaturity & unresolved childhood shit.
If I had kids I would have pushed my unresolved shit onto them. I have been alone because I wanted to become a better person.
Plus about the casual sex thing, I’m glad I went through it because it helped me understand a lot about myself & how unstable I was. It helped me form my boundaries and to understand what I do want in a partner. My right partner will explore all my sexual desires that I’ve thought about for many years.
I don’t do casual sex now because I’m afraid of sharing that with someone who is harmful or has STDs. I need someone I can trust & that takes time.
There are so many compelling points raised in this episode that are worth anybody's time to listen to and reflect on.
Just started listening to this and hope Louise will say something about the fact that one in four females have been sexually abused as children, and I think the states for males is one in six. Huge impact on society’s sexual behaviours.
Where did you get this data from? So basically you're billions of women have been abused as children. That's just not true is it.
@@k2jnr450 i work in behavioral health, addictions and trauma/PTSD. I would say that number is low. The truth of the matter is I have not met a woman who has not been sexually abused whether it be through work or my personal life.
@@C12341 actually the stats are incorrect. Those are only ones that have been reported. I work in the field and the true stats are tremendously higher for females and males. It would blow your mind.
@@k2jnr450 Out of the 4 close female friends I have had in my life, 3 have been SA'd as children. Didn't find out until I had known them for many years. Only one was full penetr@tion (6yo), one was 'I've been bitten by a spider, you need to suck the poison out" (4yo), one was masturb@tion of the child (6-8yo). Except for one, the other two were a one off. So yeah, I believe the numbers. In fact, I believe the numbers are higher than one in four.
Even when women aren't SA, there are a lot of situations where her safety is never prioritized. I was 4 the first time I experienced the lustful gaze of a grown man. Nothing ever happened because I kept my distance from this neighbor. But just imagine being 4 and knowing what a man's desire and lustful gaze looks like. When I was 8 or 9 I experienced a very traumatic event at the hands of a couple of my cousins that wasn't SA but it was such an extremely violating experience I completely understand the kinds of feelings girls who face SA go through. I had knives thrown at my feet while being restrained. I wasn't strong enough to wiggle my way out I screamed and cried no while I was repeatedly told I asked for it. It's been 40 years since then and I've never been ok. I was forced to pretend everything was ok and participate in family functions and was told my abusers loved me while my needs were neglected. I needed to be protected from people who abused me but I never was.
From my own experience, everything this lady said is correct.