@@lunatree9139 I get you. But there are some gems out there. Like In 27 Days by HonorInTheRain is my all time favourite story. You could try checking it out
Lolitas narrator isnt shown as a simpathetic character, Humbert is shown as an unreliable narrator from the start. he's shown to be completly delussional in his thoughts towards Lola.
and yet the amount of people who read him as sympathetic is so, so telling. for example, Nabokov specified that he didn't want the cover to feature Lola in any way, let alone a sexual way, and yet modern copies of the book all have her being viewed as a sex object. :^/
I'm curious, did anyone here read "Beneath the sugar sky"? I had similar problem with protagonist of that book. While it was meant to be empowering (and it was for some people), I felt like her entire personality came down to being plus-sized, and how character always mentally was judging other characters for judging her by her weight even if no one actually did. We were told that she was confident in her body, yet her mental monologue was only about her weight.
Certain features are seen as attractive, and other are typically seen as unattractive. It's completely natural. Being fat isn't even a problem, people can lose weight if they try. I've managed.
As a chunky legend whose mother used to call, "dumpling," let me just say I never asked my sister if she thought it was because mom knew I'd grow up fat lmaoo
My mom does stuff like that. Like I’d ask if she wants a cupcake and then she’d say I was only suggesting it cause she’s fat. Like...????? Do you want a cupcake or nah????? Everyone’s getting them??? Deep insecurity makes people narcissistic. It’s the same with me and how I lowkey despised femininity because I’m a trans dude and >:( I was angry and angsts and got mad at my parents for suggesting things like shopping lmao i was a wreck
the fact that the "the best lawyer in town" sister has TIME to worry about anything else including her sister's love life implies that she is not, in fact, the best lawyer in town. once i didn't notice my sister had braided her hair for a full week
To defend "Lolita": Ich personally feel like Lolita is a masterpiece regarding the voice. Because Humbert Humbert is the most despicable human being on earth and believes himself to be in the right the whole time, but what he does is SO BAD that the reader normally knows he is the bad guy. I mean, he kills Dolores mother... There were some scenes in this book where he describes Lolita and you are so much into hie view point that you have ( or at least I had) moments where I thought: You little bitch, why - ... oh. Wait. It were moments for a few seconds and normally the book gives you enough clues to see what is really going on. You do not side with him for more then two sentences. On the other hand, people think that the main character in "You" is a good love interest, so I have lost my faith in humanity.
I love the book Lolita, but I never once sympathized or sided with the narrator. I genuinely don't understand that take, I don't feel like he was written to be likable at all- whereas I was rooting for Lo the whole time! She's written very well and feels so real, she has these little acts of resistance in an impossible situation that I totally relate to. It's sad that her character is overlooked in favor or creepy, smelly, Humbert 🤢
I once read “The Collector” by John Fowles and never sympathized with either character, actually (which, if you read the book, you know why). However, after reading some published analysis papers, it came to my attention that, whenever a book is written in first person, there will be narrator biases. For instance, the paper was suggesting that, because the portion written by Frederick is written in reflection, he modified and mollifies his own actions to make himself more likable. While I’ve never read “Lolita,” I think it might be similar - people “side” with Humbert because he’s literally written himself in good light because he’s the narrator. (I know this is probably majorly disconnected, but the comment piqued my interest)
Also Nabokov made it clear that he didn't want a little girl in the book cover, the first edition didn't have it, but nowadays there's is always a little girl in the book cover it's disgusting and goes against the author wishes. Back in the day pedophilia wasn't something that was talked about, it was mostly ignored and brushed under the rug, in fact only after the 90 crimes against kids began to be brought to the forefront. It was very brave of him to write that book.
One of the most profound things about Lolita to me is how many readers DO like Humbert, or think he is meant to be the hero, because he's so ARTICULATE and EDUCATED and he REALLY LOVES HER or whatever. Even while realizing how despicable Humbert is, it's hard not to be interested in him, and obviously the book relies on the reader being interested enough in him to finish reading. It really goes to show how often our society will believe a charming man over a traumatized girl.
i feel like none of the authors that write out siblings actually have one bc they either write them as these sweet ass-vanilla-plain white bread-mayonnaise-"what's up, little bro" saying types or either as bitchy jealous divas who are out for each other's blood like chill... we're not _that_ insane
@@withcindy well. Imean, in some countries they do, but in English? yeah, noone says that unless they are being overly polite, often in a passive aggressive way.
@@guggelguggel7491 yeah exactly like in urdu, we call elder siblings as behn or bhai which literally translates to brother and sister in english but i'd rather have the author literally write the actual word instead of translating it bc it's still a proper pronoun yk
@@MGV2777 it’s called A Court of Thorns and Roses and it’s a book series by Sarah J Maas...it’s notorious on this channel cause Cindy reviewed all the books and hated- I mean loved, them.
I read My Dark Vanessa earlier this year and wrote about it for my English literature course, where we asked to analyse a text that hadn't been studied in class. I think one of the things that was done very well is how during any sexual interactions, the character Vanessa clearly uses dissociate language. Even though she seems adamant that she is/was a willing participant in the sexual relationship, the fact that she goes out of her body so often communicates really clearly to the reader that she's suffering trauma, even if she doesn't realize it herself. It does a really good job of showing how young girls often internalize the desire of adult men and equate enjoying the feeling of being wanted with consent--when these two things are not really comparable at all. I remember being fifteen and precocious and feeling unpretty/unloved, and how easy it would have been for an adult man to take advantage of that, when sexual desire does not really play into the desire to feel special/important. It's so pernicious and believable and made my skin crawl. I don't think I could read it again, but I thought it was a very well written book.
I found it really interesting how whenever he started to have sex with her she'd dissociate and watch from the outside, be at a grocery store watching food go down the line, etc. I feel so bad for her, she deserved more :(
Despite Vanessa telling that sicko that she would never tell, she does tell in so many ways. There’s some part of her crying out for help. Her telling her roommate about what happened, telling her ex Ira, telling Henry, and writing the blog were all a cry for help from that part of her that knew she was abused. I’m listening to the audiobook and have about an hour left. Grace Gummer is the narrator, and she is AWESOME! This book is definitely getting 5 ⭐️s from me. The writing is phenomenal.
I loved reading your take on this particular aspect of the book. MDV is a book I've dearly loved reading, bawled by eyes to and it has made me "redefine" some of my previous encounters with men correctly as what they truly were. I would love to hear more of your thoughts! :)
There were some parts of the book that made me question Vanessa though and its probably because of the abuse and trauma but I couldn’t get over how she knew he was abusing other girls but what disturbed me the most was in a few parts of the book (especially in the the end) where she mentions calling Strane and having him describe the girls in his class and what he would ask and say to them and saying how he pretends that they’re her and the fact that she got off to it. Got off to him describing how he abused the other girls in his class imagining it was her. There even a part in the book where she confesses to her therapist how she thinks it was her fault the other girls were abused because she enabled him. And I do think that’s very true. She enabled him for so long. Even in the end I don’t know if she would have ever really stopped loving him if he hadn’t died. I also think that some of the sex scenes described in the book were too graphic, they were described like smut or porn, imo, which I’m surprised was even allowed to be published. Just to clarify I’m not putting any blame on Vanessa or taking any from Strane but I just found it hard to like her. I could only sympathize for her. I think the way she describes the reality of consent and what’s considered legal at a certain age is very interesting though.
the title just made me think of all of my old teachers who were probably pedophiles edit: glad to know that you all also had nonce teachers because i thought that was just a me thing
The Entirety of YA Fiction: He was nice to me that one time after berating me constantly that led to me questioning my worth!!! *Faints in whipped* Cindy.... The bar doesn't exist anymore ☹️
Romance books in a nutshell Girl:I hate myself Mysterious boy: You are so beautiful *Kisses * Later Mysterious boy: I don't think I deserve you (tries to leave) Girl: Noooooo...you are the only one who thinks I am pretty.......... Sorry I just wanted to get this off my mind
@@JM-vr1br Girl: you still love me?? Best friend: yeah Girl: but I don't have any feelings for someone who has loved me like since forever, and I only like the new hot mysterious person Best friend:..........
I listened to My Dark Vanessa and that really did made me test my limits as to how far I could get in that book without tossing my phone out the window 🤮🤮🤮 When she started talking about how he couldn't get it up after she turned into an adult, my soul left my body 🤢🤢🤢
@@withcindy RIGHT! And she describes him in such a nasty and repulsive way that it got to a point that I was physically flinching everytime he touched her 😭😭😭
Out of all of the things in this video my brain decided to focus on: "Spreading mayo on her head like she's ed from 90 day fiance" All I could think throughout the rest of it is, Cindy watches TLC?
I just read My Dark Vanessa a few days ago. Disturbing as it was to read, I found it absolutely necessary. I'm around the same age as the main character and have a teacher who was recently discovered to have violated a student, so this story hit hard. I'd recommend the book to teens despite the graphic depiction of abuse because the events that occur are unfortunately not uncommon in schools. I guess what I'm saying is, it's better to be educated about hard topics than be in that situation and clueless.
I completely agree, I wish younger me had read this story. It really would educate a lot of children. But I think the graphic scenes definitely were to much.
It's the fatphobia for me! Chile, pack it up. Authors should really try to make their diversity quota characters less cringe. They seem to forget they are people.
I can only think of one book I’ve ever read that isn’t fatphobic, and I can’t remember the name. She was a bigger girl and always was thinking that she was disgusting and fat. Literally nobody else cared. Like at all. I also think it took place in a mental hospital.
about lolita: everything you said about "my dark vanessa" is actually the entire "vibe" of lolita! the point of the book, kinda, was to make you morally question the protagonist and judge him on your own, instead of knowing that he's bad because the narrator said so/believing him without really questioning it. he never really describes or qualifies anything he did to her in a negative way, because he romanticizes everything and makes it seem like lolita is the one in control, and they were in love -- even though he completely destroyed her life and set her up for a life of mental distress and unhealthy, terrible relationships because she doesn't know any better. but like, in lolita, every now and then dolores being absolutely miserable slips through his narration as well because it's just,,, unmissable. i don't know. the standpoint is interesting. kind of reminds me of the study that showed that if you don't use the word "rape" and instead describe the act without labelling it, men will admit things much more easily - they just didn't/don't consider it rape. the narrator kind of does this in the book. plus the way humbert humbert describes lolita is basically a way to victim blame her. she's responsible for everything, she flirted with him, blablabla, and it's even more true considering that now the term lolita is used to talk about PRE-TEENS/TEENS who are supposedly overly sexual, to kind of make it seem like they're responsible for grown ass men grooming and targeting them, and it somehow justifies adults being attracted to them. anyway, it's disgusting and to this day Lolita and the way its been romanticized and glamorized and everything keeps on proving the point of the book, lmao.... which is fucking sad and pathetic
Agreed. Humbert isn't sympathetic or likeable at all. You could describe him as having superficial charm at best but he's just a gross calculating, manipulative predator who thinks he's more intelligent and witty than he actually is. Humbert is especially vile because he's such a skilled predator that with a few poetic words to describe deplorable thoughts and actions, even readers who should be able to understand that the man is a liar and predator get taken in by his narrative and start blaming Delores for everything that happened to her. Exactly as Humbert wants, I should add, because then *he* can be the victim. The fact that we call Delores "Lolita", the name Humbert called her as part of his sexualisation of her and then attach that label to little girls is just... aggravating. Humbert is an unreliable narrator and that means a) we can't trust a single thing that comes out of his mouth- he lies and contradicts himself so often- and b) he is going to try and make himself appear in as good a light as possible. That doesn't mean he's actually sympathetic, it just means he's trying his hardest to manipulate the reader just as he manipulated Dolores and Dolores' mother. Sometimes I wish Lolita had been written from Delores' POV rather than Humbert's just so people wouldn't completely miss the point but I think it's as powerful and upsetting as it is because it's from Humbert's perspective.
@@asmileisspecial great comments. Do you think this book is somewhat of an attempt at rewriting the “Lolita” story from the child victim’s perspective? I found My Dark Vanessa captivating and acting as a deeper analysis of how that type of gaslighting and manipulation can make a victim feel so many complex emotions and blame. I really liked the book, but I haven’t actually read Lolita so I’m curious what you think.
As a Native it's always funny when Native men are written as stoic and troublesome. I think of my brothers who are constantly laughing and telling stupid stories. They don't even try to steal any women.
"You will never get closure ... you will just have to pick up the pieces and figure out how to move on." Yup. This is therapy right here. Ready for the next video. Thx.
Wow. When you read those quotes from 'True Colors,' my mouth was open. I can't believe how awful that character is. As a former physical (but still mental) fat girl, I can't explain how demeaning that sounded. I didn't think that badly of myself - fat just being a physical descriptor - though I do know people who thought badly of themselves. Still, it's obvious she has no clue. She really should have passed through through a reader or two so she could get context. It's not even that I find it offensive so much as I am shocked that she saw no issue with the characterization and actually published it as it is. --- Great video. I love your reviews.
I've been lucky to have parents that cooked for me and gave me healthy eating habits so I've never had weight issues, but even to me it's obvious that THAT'S NOT AN OKAY THING TO WRITE ABOUT OVERWEIGHT PPL WTFFFFF.
@@withcindy I'm treating a bitch of an infecction but honestly I'm having the time of my life! The hospital is really homely and nice, everyone is amazing, I'm getting 4 meals a day in bed, people are sending me chocolate out the wazoo and i feel so pampered I'm loving it ❤️❤️❤️
I honestly was so scared going into My Dark Vanessa. I didn’t want to read something romanticizing abuse but wow. It was so well done. My stomach kept turning whenever Stain or whatever said or did some creepy shit to her. It was such a tragic book.
readwithcindy honestly, i love tiktok because it’s so varied!! as long as you stay away from the tiktok dances and creepy white boys flexing to the camera
My Dark Vanessa was SO good. So frustrating, so difficult and so nuanced. Mandatory reading for all the lolita/humbert 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 romanticising people. I LOVE how much it dunked on the common motifs of these creepy love stories/Lana Del Rey aesthetic like dedicating Sylvia Plath poems to Vanessa, the cringey maple leaf imagery, photographs etc. The author didnt HESITATE™.
Fun fact about the glass castle: most of the stuff she talks about was retold to her by her brother. Apparently he has a super good memory and was able to recount their childhood.
I had to come back to this video just to talk about My Dark Vanessa. It’s a great look at how predators actually damage their targets in the moment and for years and decades down the road. This is why so don’t believe MAP is a form of love- because you have to care how you affect that person for the rest of their life, you have to care if you’re going to be the thing that makes them feel broken and unclean and wrong for the rest of their lives. The amount of grooming and calculation it takes to engage a victim in this shit goes against the claim that a young person can consent or that they were not specifically targeted. Even if you are attracted and you think that young person IS attracted too, it gives you no excuse to act on that impulse and manipulating the person into going with it or staying quiet. The power is not ever going to be equal and that young person is at significant risk if being messed up for life, all so some shitty teacher can get his rocks off and then move onto the next wave of young girls who don’t know better or are too timid to stop him. It’s also a fantastic example of how an older man showing interest in you isn’t “special” or meaningful, it’s literally a pattern with him (and others) and the targets can and do age out of the predator’s favor over time. You aren’t that special that a grown man just couldn’t help himself, and you aren’t the only one he is doing this to- and you won’t be the last. I don’t think Lolita was meant to make Humbert necessarily sympathetic, more like he’s trying to come off that way but it’s supposed to be obvious that he’s a horrible, unreliable shithead. Then again, maybe it isn’t obvious, judging by the fetishization of Lolita as a character now. But whatever, I think I like this book way better because it just... felt like she had her life fucking worn out by this guy and she tries so hard not to see what he was because she’d have to deal with it, and she’s internalized the blame, and we can relate y’all. I think it’s the grim, gritty, wasted youth and derailed, haunted adulthood that happens to a lot of people as a result and it should be seen. Predators wreck lives and it’s not something people just cry about once and get over.
I so COMPLETELY agree with you on my dark vanessa. Every part of it. Especially the ending. It was SO difficult to read but so important. And I really admired the decisions the author made, especially that ending.
I just read My Dark Vanessa and your critique is spot on. I really appreciated seeing the repercussions of the grooming and the 'relationship' and how it followed the MC into adulthood and the ways it affected her. It was an awful and a brilliant book. Eye opening and honest, making it appear romantic thru her 15 YO eyes, and not, at the same time. I hope this book gets read by many people and helps increase understanding of this topic.
YES I’m so happy you mentioned how there is no big showdown when it comes to trauma and it’s also one of the reasons why I adored the book, coming from a survivor who thought that it was an accurate portrayal of how people cope with trauma.
I just finished My Dark Vanessa this year and it was amazing. I like that my copy included information on how the author did research on trauma and childhood trauma specifically, I feel like that really came out in the text. Also the ending was so satisfying, just to see Vanessa finally starting to do okay and being in a much better place.
I love how honest you are with your critiques in that you don't claim to be the objective judge passing the correct judgment on literature. You acknowledge your values and subjectivity and that ultimately art is subjective. I love that ❤
I was hesitant to read My Dark Vanessa for the same reason, I was worried it would be exploitative. But after reading an interview with the author and hearing about how she felt so protective of her protagonist and she spent over 20 years working on it and making sure it was right that I felt comfortable giving it a chance. It’s one of my top 5 books from this year even though I spent most of the book feeling so sick and sad.
Love this video, but I do want to add, when I read Lolita (which was admittedly a while ago) I didn’t see the narrator as someone the audience was meant to be sympathetic too. He was sympathetic towards himself and saw himself as someone who couldn’t help it, but I believe that was meant to add to how messed up the situation was. Throughout the book the audience can pick up on how traumatized Dolores is becoming, especially through some scenes near the end. HH is an unreliable narrator, not a sympathetic hero.
Just now I was watching last month's wrapup and thinking, "I wonder when Cindy's going to post the next one. I hope it's soon." My prayers have been answered.
"Get a life, Chloe Brown" sounds a lot like "Te presento a Laura", a mexican movie about a girl who hires a hitman to kill her, she makes a bucketlist and then saves a guy and that guy helps her to finish her bucketlist, and it's a really cute lovestory, very corny, but cute. You should watch it.
Maybe the author of the Glass Castle didn't write how she processed with the difficult and conflicting emotions as a child because she hasn't yet. I mean they say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but it can also traumatize you to the core so that you are either depressed or stuck in survival, "don't touch me, don't get close to me, I can do everything myself" mode.
it finally happened. my mother walked in on me watching a readwithcindy video and had to listen to my rushed explanation of how i was just watching book recommendations and not something about a perverted teacher :(
A friend of mine recommended this to me and called it "the new lolita". I did feel sick while reading that too, soooo Edit: you should really read Lolita its so beautifully written.
Lolita is indeed written from male perspective, but the writer exposes his delusional views magnificently through the protagonist's own inner monologues. Powerful and heartbreaking. The troubling thing is that some readers interpret an interesting villain as a non-vilain. Lolita recommended. But...one reads what one wants to read :-). All's good.
@@mapletree3434 .... I am now worried about how you are reading it, If you are conflating the writer with the protagonist like that. The entire work is damning of how horrible a man the main character is, and for him having amazing prose we also see again and again what an unreliable narrator he is. And he reveals the monster he is even as he tries to paint himself as sympathetic. But anyone who tries to read anything autobiographical into Humbert about Nabokov has been poisoned by how pop culture has twisted the book.
RenaDeles - If I rightly recall, Nabokov was a victim of abuse and the whole book is being used to condemn pedophilia and whatever “justifications” a pedophile can produce. The whole idea is that there is no excuse that’s why Humbert continually fails to garner sympathy. His actions are despicable to the core. If I do recall correctly, the author would be horrified with what pop culture did with his work
@@withcindy @RenaDeles and I agree on every point. The author exposes narrator/protagonist. My use of the pronoun 'his delusional...' was a mistake. Humbert/protagonist/villain is dilusional, the author is NOT the narrator, English is not my 1st language and Cindy...three weeks of recovery from the book is needed. And a few minutes from this petty discussion. You would get a brilliant prose on a horrible crime that leaves you traumatized on several levels and people who agree regarding the main premises of the novel, yet must thread carefully on every syllable when communicating. That clearly shows if the novel is for you. Take care of that awesomeness of yours!❤️
16:17 That's a huge pet peeve of mine. I hate it when stories put something in just because all the other stories do. If something doesn't fit in your story you don't have to put it in.
Your explanation of the ending of My Dark Vanessa was so well put together! This book was so sad and horrific but I will never regret reading it. When I first read it, I will admit, I was upset with the ending but you are right about how strong, promising resolutions are not typically what happens in life. I thought the portrayal of how this “relationship” truly went on and majorly impacted her life. The things that went differently. I will say though, I wish the author had ventured more into her future relationships during/after college. How her relationship with her dumpster fire of a teacher, influence and messed with her future relationships. While I will most likely never read this book again, it is definitely and unforgettable one.
You describing the parents in True Colors really made me think of my parents. They're both very intelligent and creative, but my mom also would say and do crazy things that never added up to me. She was so loving and overly nice sometimes, but other times became so neglectful to the point that I was forced to get my sister up for school and make dinner for us when she wasn't around. Sometimes I think it’s just depression talking for people who do that kind of thing
as a law student. chile. how you gon be a lawyer in a small town and have time to worry about anything other than your crushing student debt is beyond me.
I cannot appreciate how well the psychological dynamics were done in My Dark Vanessa.👏 And I loved the writing! It was so lyrical and dark and beautiful... It didn't feel like a debut at all
Portraying fat girls like that in a book should be illegal. Imagine how an kid that's conscious about her weight would feel when she reads a book that's constantly telling her that being fat is something so terrible.
I'm 16 and I've been reading a ton of studentxteacher mangas, and novels for some time now and maybe I needed a reality check on how it actually is. I read my dark vanessa and as someone the same age as her, the words he said, all the flattery and honeyed words, would've made me believe him sadly.I didn't fully understand, but reading it and hearing those words were unsettling yet safe to hear? Like, if I put myself in her shoes, I'd really would have believed him. Yeah, I didn't fully understand it, but it made me aware how easily impressionable and naive I am.
i really appreciate that cindy knows how to turn it off when talking about really serious subjects and treating it with the nuance it deserves. there was a similar experience from "my dark vanessa" at my high school and i (very luckily) hated the teacher so i never saw the signs but the teacher targeted many other kids. actually, now that i'm thinking about it, a lot of the teachers were fired and charged for similar shit. that high school is so fucked tbh lmao. anyway, when you started talking about it, i was getting ready to dip, but you did a great job tackling the sensitive subjects. thank you~ you dropped this, queen 👑
“Is the bar really THAT low? Is the BAR really ThAt LOW?!” Facts girl. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Have priorities and have STANDARDS even if you’re lonely and have low self esteem! 👌🏻
Book: complete soap opera drama with girls against girls and basic Chad’s existing. Critics: Magnificent. Heart wrenching. My soul flew out of me. Never seen before.
also also what something i really liked about my dark vanessa was the current timeline and you just see the exact extent of Vanessa's trauma manifesting in such subtle ways. Like she still goes about her work and she still has other relationships but her entire psyche has been conditioned for the worst. She's working a dead end job, she's given up all her grand passions, it's a weird listless existence that has nothing and yet everything to do with strane.
If you read any YA please read sick kids in love! As a disabled teen I related to the characters so much and even though the characters are so flawed and annoying, they grow quickly. Also it teaches many memorable lessons about disability and feminism. Love it so much! Edit: also the love interest is so understanding and kind and real at the same time.
I love that Cindy says "Is the bar in hell" before saying "is it under ground" as tho hell is above ground. As tho... we're already in hell... I'm gonna go cry
Okay so you reviewing *My Dark Vanessa* makes me think that you should review after. For some reason, that book was much more like a thriller than a romance because of how toxic the relationship was. It honestly scared me, and not in the joking way. I feel like you would do such a good job at breaking them down.
I'm just here to see if Cindy read that horse girl book to check exactly what category of furry she fits in
I love dogs the best! Woof woof!
readwithcindy as the handler or pet? 👀
Klara Zarjebitno I can assure you, the two are not mutually exclusive 😂
readwithcindy 👁👄👁
readwithcindy so... Team Jacob then? 😂😂😂
“It’s good to have a white guy in the mix, to have token diversity”
Never change cindy
we always need our token white
The "equal attention cake"
I mean that said, it is a translated work and Fredrick Backman is a phenomenal author. I laughed, I cried, Anxious People was great.
brandon roberts justice for white tokens
Speaking of which, the Netflix show Kipo actually just doesn't have a white person in the main cast. Love it
“Is the bar that low?”
Girl, you’re on book twitter, you shouldn’t even be asking at this point
I expect nothing and I am still disappointed
Insane lover69 same. And when you finally find something good they get deleted. 😭
@@luis_zuniga or they move on to bigger things like Amazon
@Fleur Garden bottom of the barrel, that's all I got to say
@@lunatree9139 I get you. But there are some gems out there. Like In 27 Days by HonorInTheRain is my all time favourite story. You could try checking it out
Lolitas narrator isnt shown as a simpathetic character, Humbert is shown as an unreliable narrator from the start. he's shown to be completly delussional in his thoughts towards Lola.
Thanks for clarifying!
You’re right! It’s such a good example of a narrator outright manipulating the reader
themselves.
and yet the amount of people who read him as sympathetic is so, so telling.
for example, Nabokov specified that he didn't want the cover to feature Lola in any way, let alone a sexual way, and yet modern copies of the book all have her being viewed as a sex object. :^/
@@withcindy omg Cindy I love you, keep up the good book content 😭♥️
@@themousoleum Nabokov: You dumb fucks ypu just exposed yourselves-
"I'm starting to lose weight. Maybe I'll finally get pretty."
Wow.
I mean WOW.
The fact that skinny is linked to pretty really troubles me. Characters and people are so much more interesting looking with 'flaws'
RIGHT?????? It would be one thing for her to believe that in the beginning of the book and develop and grow, but she literally said that at the end
@Elayla Moore be angry
I'm curious, did anyone here read "Beneath the sugar sky"? I had similar problem with protagonist of that book. While it was meant to be empowering (and it was for some people), I felt like her entire personality came down to being plus-sized, and how character always mentally was judging other characters for judging her by her weight even if no one actually did. We were told that she was confident in her body, yet her mental monologue was only about her weight.
Certain features are seen as attractive, and other are typically seen as unattractive. It's completely natural. Being fat isn't even a problem, people can lose weight if they try. I've managed.
*Cindy* : Is the bar that low? Is the bar in hell? Is it underground?
*The world in 2020* : Regardless of what you're about to discuss, *_Y E S_*
I read this the exact moment she said
LITERALLY
Big oof
In the year of our Lord 2020 the bar does not exist
Sounds like a GrayStillPlays quote
As a chunky legend whose mother used to call, "dumpling," let me just say I never asked my sister if she thought it was because mom knew I'd grow up fat lmaoo
Ikr... The reach...
My mom does stuff like that. Like I’d ask if she wants a cupcake and then she’d say I was only suggesting it cause she’s fat. Like...????? Do you want a cupcake or nah????? Everyone’s getting them??? Deep insecurity makes people narcissistic. It’s the same with me and how I lowkey despised femininity because I’m a trans dude and >:( I was angry and angsts and got mad at my parents for suggesting things like shopping lmao i was a wreck
d;3;f;s: rip
@@Udontkno7 dude you read me like a paycheck
dumpling is such a cute nickname lol
“I’m an Asian skinny legend” I spit out my water-
The way I read this as she said it in the video, I-
Cindy is our legend
It is what it is
Also can we appreciate the font in the closed caption 😂
@@in_99 I was literally just thinking that
"You know it's good to have a white guy in the mix, just for token diversity"
👁️👄👁️ Oh how the turns have tabled
Will someone please think of the whites!!!
b... but swedish people aren't from the USA
@@kitbracadabra ....are you serious
Kitbracadabra 🤦🏾♀️
@@kitbracadabra bruh,if you are white you can be from sweden!
the fact that the "the best lawyer in town" sister has TIME to worry about anything else including her sister's love life implies that she is not, in fact, the best lawyer in town. once i didn't notice my sister had braided her hair for a full week
Right?! Like damn go be a lawyer if ur so great at it
Maybe it’s a small town? So she is the best lawyer by default of being the only lawyer?
@@rachelb4339 FUCKING HELL I CHOKED ON MY COFFEE WITH THIS
@lou reading things GOOD
To defend "Lolita": Ich personally feel like Lolita is a masterpiece regarding the voice. Because Humbert Humbert is the most despicable human being on earth and believes himself to be in the right the whole time, but what he does is SO BAD that the reader normally knows he is the bad guy. I mean, he kills Dolores mother... There were some scenes in this book where he describes Lolita and you are so much into hie view point that you have ( or at least I had) moments where I thought: You little bitch, why - ... oh. Wait. It were moments for a few seconds and normally the book gives you enough clues to see what is really going on. You do not side with him for more then two sentences. On the other hand, people think that the main character in "You" is a good love interest, so I have lost my faith in humanity.
thank u for clarifying!
I love the book Lolita, but I never once sympathized or sided with the narrator. I genuinely don't understand that take, I don't feel like he was written to be likable at all- whereas I was rooting for Lo the whole time! She's written very well and feels so real, she has these little acts of resistance in an impossible situation that I totally relate to. It's sad that her character is overlooked in favor or creepy, smelly, Humbert 🤢
I once read “The Collector” by John Fowles and never sympathized with either character, actually (which, if you read the book, you know why). However, after reading some published analysis papers, it came to my attention that, whenever a book is written in first person, there will be narrator biases.
For instance, the paper was suggesting that, because the portion written by Frederick is written in reflection, he modified and mollifies his own actions to make himself more likable. While I’ve never read “Lolita,” I think it might be similar - people “side” with Humbert because he’s literally written himself in good light because he’s the narrator.
(I know this is probably majorly disconnected, but the comment piqued my interest)
Also Nabokov made it clear that he didn't want a little girl in the book cover, the first edition didn't have it, but nowadays there's is always a little girl in the book cover it's disgusting and goes against the author wishes.
Back in the day pedophilia wasn't something that was talked about, it was mostly ignored and brushed under the rug, in fact only after the 90 crimes against kids began to be brought to the forefront. It was very brave of him to write that book.
One of the most profound things about Lolita to me is how many readers DO like Humbert, or think he is meant to be the hero, because he's so ARTICULATE and EDUCATED and he REALLY LOVES HER or whatever. Even while realizing how despicable Humbert is, it's hard not to be interested in him, and obviously the book relies on the reader being interested enough in him to finish reading. It really goes to show how often our society will believe a charming man over a traumatized girl.
i feel like none of the authors that write out siblings actually have one bc they either write them as these sweet ass-vanilla-plain white bread-mayonnaise-"what's up, little bro" saying types or either as bitchy jealous divas who are out for each other's blood like chill... we're not _that_ insane
I mean yeah... But my sister is basically the second category so sometimes it's realistic 😅
I especially dislike it when siblings call each other brother or sister because nobody talks like that lol
@@withcindy well. Imean, in some countries they do, but in English? yeah, noone says that unless they are being overly polite, often in a passive aggressive way.
@@guggelguggel7491 yeah exactly like in urdu, we call elder siblings as behn or bhai which literally translates to brother and sister in english but i'd rather have the author literally write the actual word instead of translating it bc it's still a proper pronoun yk
ramsha yesssss
“Overweight bookworm” that’s how my classmates describe me
Let's be bookworms together
@@withcindy that's probably the most wholesome thing in this video.
My entire life summed up in those 2 words.
That is my entire identity lol
Wow, Cindy’s really flexing her books over my illiterate body.
I don't have much else 🥺
A's diy Studio felt this in my soul, I haven’t read in months 🤩🤩
Cindy: “Is the bar really that low? Is the bar in hell? Is the bar underground?”
Me: Girl, you read the ACOTAR series 😂
Ok fair
hahahaha
I came here to say this. Lol
Sorry, but WTH is ACOTAR???
@@MGV2777 it’s called A Court of Thorns and Roses and it’s a book series by Sarah J Maas...it’s notorious on this channel cause Cindy reviewed all the books and hated- I mean loved, them.
I read My Dark Vanessa earlier this year and wrote about it for my English literature course, where we asked to analyse a text that hadn't been studied in class. I think one of the things that was done very well is how during any sexual interactions, the character Vanessa clearly uses dissociate language. Even though she seems adamant that she is/was a willing participant in the sexual relationship, the fact that she goes out of her body so often communicates really clearly to the reader that she's suffering trauma, even if she doesn't realize it herself. It does a really good job of showing how young girls often internalize the desire of adult men and equate enjoying the feeling of being wanted with consent--when these two things are not really comparable at all. I remember being fifteen and precocious and feeling unpretty/unloved, and how easy it would have been for an adult man to take advantage of that, when sexual desire does not really play into the desire to feel special/important. It's so pernicious and believable and made my skin crawl. I don't think I could read it again, but I thought it was a very well written book.
I agree!! Her psyche was written very accurately to the point that it was so eerie :(
I found it really interesting how whenever he started to have sex with her she'd dissociate and watch from the outside, be at a grocery store watching food go down the line, etc. I feel so bad for her, she deserved more :(
Despite Vanessa telling that sicko that she would never tell, she does tell in so many ways. There’s some part of her crying out for help. Her telling her roommate about what happened, telling her ex Ira, telling Henry, and writing the blog were all a cry for help from that part of her that knew she was abused. I’m listening to the audiobook and have about an hour left. Grace Gummer is the narrator, and she is AWESOME! This book is definitely getting 5 ⭐️s from me. The writing is phenomenal.
I loved reading your take on this particular aspect of the book. MDV is a book I've dearly loved reading, bawled by eyes to and it has made me "redefine" some of my previous encounters with men correctly as what they truly were.
I would love to hear more of your thoughts! :)
There were some parts of the book that made me question Vanessa though and its probably because of the abuse and trauma but I couldn’t get over how she knew he was abusing other girls but what disturbed me the most was in a few parts of the book (especially in the the end) where she mentions calling Strane and having him describe the girls in his class and what he would ask and say to them and saying how he pretends that they’re her and the fact that she got off to it. Got off to him describing how he abused the other girls in his class imagining it was her. There even a part in the book where she confesses to her therapist how she thinks it was her fault the other girls were abused because she enabled him. And I do think that’s very true. She enabled him for so long. Even in the end I don’t know if she would have ever really stopped loving him if he hadn’t died. I also think that some of the sex scenes described in the book were too graphic, they were described like smut or porn, imo, which I’m surprised was even allowed to be published. Just to clarify I’m not putting any blame on Vanessa or taking any from Strane but I just found it hard to like her. I could only sympathize for her. I think the way she describes the reality of consent and what’s considered legal at a certain age is very interesting though.
the title just made me think of all of my old teachers who were probably pedophiles
edit: glad to know that you all also had nonce teachers because i thought that was just a me thing
I mean same
looking at you (insert eighth grade history teacher)
@@killanelle its always the history teachers
i wake up and boom im a rat it’s always the art, ICT and drama teachers :/
@@campbell9865 same, the gym teacher. like wtf...
"This teacher deserves the electric chair"
readwithcindy presents: Completely Giving up.
Starring Cindy, Cindey, Sindy, Zhindee and introducing Cinddy.
Don’t forget! With Guest Star: Sihndie!
Sehnndie 😍
Whose white mom’s baby name list is this 😭
Don't do my girl Sydney like that
I think Syn-D made a cameo too!!
You know Red was hot.. he painted by the window shirtless and with open curtains.. Like.. Come on.. The thirst was there from the beginning..
You're so right ✨
I love Red so much. That shirtless cinnamon roll of a man.
The second Chloe ran into him and it’s described as “face to face.. or rather face to neck” it was game over for me
The Entirety of YA Fiction: He was nice to me that one time after berating me constantly that led to me questioning my worth!!! *Faints in whipped*
Cindy.... The bar doesn't exist anymore ☹️
The bar is in hell
I wanted to like this comment, but then it was at 666 likes, and now I can't. Just know I appreciate you, friend.
But, but Jem Carstairs exists. But to be fair tho, guys like Jem Carstairs don't exist in real life.
@@withcindy as a citizen of hell, we respectfully decline responsibility of the bar
YA fiction is for when its 2am and you're delirious
"Is the bar really in Hell?" - Me, to me, when a cute girl I'll never see again says my outfit is cute and I over-analyse everything
u better love urself!!
me: oh cindy uploaded
*click*
cindy: *i s t h e b a r t h a t l o w ?*
me: ah.
2020 mood
@@withcindy LMAO so true
Romance books in a nutshell
Girl:I hate myself
Mysterious boy: You are so beautiful
*Kisses *
Later
Mysterious boy: I don't think I deserve you (tries to leave)
Girl: Noooooo...you are the only one who thinks I am pretty..........
Sorry I just wanted to get this off my mind
You forgot:
Boy bestfriend: But I love you!
Girl: Really, I never noticed...
Everybody else: Really? GOD, you’re dumb.
This comment has made me question so much
@@JM-vr1br haa haa so true, poor thing always gets left behind.
@@JM-vr1br
Girl: you still love me??
Best friend: yeah
Girl: but I don't have any feelings for someone who has loved me like since forever, and I only like the new hot mysterious person
Best friend:..........
Either way the girl must validate herself with a man
I listened to My Dark Vanessa and that really did made me test my limits as to how far I could get in that book without tossing my phone out the window 🤮🤮🤮 When she started talking about how he couldn't get it up after she turned into an adult, my soul left my body 🤢🤢🤢
I KNOW!!! And when he visited her childhood room and was super into it EW
@@withcindy RIGHT! And she describes him in such a nasty and repulsive way that it got to a point that I was physically flinching everytime he touched her 😭😭😭
The audiobook was so good. And when I say “good”, I mean disturbing. Grace Gummer really brought Vanessa to life for me.
Out of all of the things in this video my brain decided to focus on: "Spreading mayo on her head like she's ed from 90 day fiance" All I could think throughout the rest of it is, Cindy watches TLC?
Yes I watch 90 day fiance LOLOL
Last time I was this early, Cindy was still denying that she’s a furry 😌
I- 👁ω👁
Woof woof!
I just read My Dark Vanessa a few days ago. Disturbing as it was to read, I found it absolutely necessary. I'm around the same age as the main character and have a teacher who was recently discovered to have violated a student, so this story hit hard. I'd recommend the book to teens despite the graphic depiction of abuse because the events that occur are unfortunately not uncommon in schools. I guess what I'm saying is, it's better to be educated about hard topics than be in that situation and clueless.
it unfortunately is so accurate :(
Agreed.
I completely agree, I wish younger me had read this story. It really would educate a lot of children. But I think the graphic scenes definitely were to much.
"Is the bar that low?Is the bar in hell? Is it underground?" Didn't know you were talking about my life choices.
Oh no
It's the fatphobia for me! Chile, pack it up. Authors should really try to make their diversity quota characters less cringe. They seem to forget they are people.
I can only think of one book I’ve ever read that isn’t fatphobic, and I can’t remember the name. She was a bigger girl and always was thinking that she was disgusting and fat. Literally nobody else cared. Like at all. I also think it took place in a mental hospital.
Right?? Just write them like normal people damn
@@JM-vr1br at least being fat wasn't her entire existence.
@@withcindy I'm hoping plus sized person does a deep dive on how best to represent them.
Get a Life, Chloe Brown is actually a GREAT book for plus-sized rep done sooo well, at least from what I read and have seen from others
about lolita: everything you said about "my dark vanessa" is actually the entire "vibe" of lolita! the point of the book, kinda, was to make you morally question the protagonist and judge him on your own, instead of knowing that he's bad because the narrator said so/believing him without really questioning it. he never really describes or qualifies anything he did to her in a negative way, because he romanticizes everything and makes it seem like lolita is the one in control, and they were in love -- even though he completely destroyed her life and set her up for a life of mental distress and unhealthy, terrible relationships because she doesn't know any better.
but like, in lolita, every now and then dolores being absolutely miserable slips through his narration as well because it's just,,, unmissable. i don't know. the standpoint is interesting. kind of reminds me of the study that showed that if you don't use the word "rape" and instead describe the act without labelling it, men will admit things much more easily - they just didn't/don't consider it rape. the narrator kind of does this in the book.
plus the way humbert humbert describes lolita is basically a way to victim blame her. she's responsible for everything, she flirted with him, blablabla, and it's even more true considering that now the term lolita is used to talk about PRE-TEENS/TEENS who are supposedly overly sexual, to kind of make it seem like they're responsible for grown ass men grooming and targeting them, and it somehow justifies adults being attracted to them.
anyway, it's disgusting and to this day Lolita and the way its been romanticized and glamorized and everything keeps on proving the point of the book, lmao.... which is fucking sad and pathetic
thanks for clarifying!!
Agreed. Humbert isn't sympathetic or likeable at all. You could describe him as having superficial charm at best but he's just a gross calculating, manipulative predator who thinks he's more intelligent and witty than he actually is. Humbert is especially vile because he's such a skilled predator that with a few poetic words to describe deplorable thoughts and actions, even readers who should be able to understand that the man is a liar and predator get taken in by his narrative and start blaming Delores for everything that happened to her. Exactly as Humbert wants, I should add, because then *he* can be the victim. The fact that we call Delores "Lolita", the name Humbert called her as part of his sexualisation of her and then attach that label to little girls is just... aggravating.
Humbert is an unreliable narrator and that means a) we can't trust a single thing that comes out of his mouth- he lies and contradicts himself so often- and b) he is going to try and make himself appear in as good a light as possible. That doesn't mean he's actually sympathetic, it just means he's trying his hardest to manipulate the reader just as he manipulated Dolores and Dolores' mother. Sometimes I wish Lolita had been written from Delores' POV rather than Humbert's just so people wouldn't completely miss the point but I think it's as powerful and upsetting as it is because it's from Humbert's perspective.
@@asmileisspecial great comments. Do you think this book is somewhat of an attempt at rewriting the “Lolita” story from the child victim’s perspective? I found My Dark Vanessa captivating and acting as a deeper analysis of how that type of gaslighting and manipulation can make a victim feel so many complex emotions and blame. I really liked the book, but I haven’t actually read Lolita so I’m curious what you think.
Wow I just hot here and people saying things like "hi trash" "hi fellow garbage" like bish ain't even wrong😅
It's our little community
readwithcindy Landfill fandom 😋
As a Native it's always funny when Native men are written as stoic and troublesome. I think of my brothers who are constantly laughing and telling stupid stories. They don't even try to steal any women.
"You will never get closure ... you will just have to pick up the pieces and figure out how to move on." Yup. This is therapy right here. Ready for the next video. Thx.
its something ive had to learn as well
Wow. When you read those quotes from 'True Colors,' my mouth was open. I can't believe how awful that character is. As a former physical (but still mental) fat girl, I can't explain how demeaning that sounded. I didn't think that badly of myself - fat just being a physical descriptor - though I do know people who thought badly of themselves. Still, it's obvious she has no clue. She really should have passed through through a reader or two so she could get context. It's not even that I find it offensive so much as I am shocked that she saw no issue with the characterization and actually published it as it is. --- Great video. I love your reviews.
Yeah, it also seemed very fat shamey to me as well
Honestly every time I read a quote in the video it felt horrible to speak out loud 😡
Funny that's how I think of myself.
I've been lucky to have parents that cooked for me and gave me healthy eating habits so I've never had weight issues, but even to me it's obvious that THAT'S NOT AN OKAY THING TO WRITE ABOUT OVERWEIGHT PPL WTFFFFF.
I'm in the hospital and will be for the next several weeks, so let's just say Cindy's gonna keep me company while I'm here
Cheers, my virgins
Get well soon!
@@queer-ios3155 thank you boo! ❤️❤️
I hope you're okay 🥺
@@withcindy I'm treating a bitch of an infecction but honestly I'm having the time of my life! The hospital is really homely and nice, everyone is amazing, I'm getting 4 meals a day in bed, people are sending me chocolate out the wazoo and i feel so pampered
I'm loving it ❤️❤️❤️
Katrin Baumgarten out the wazoo is definitely my new favorite phrase bahaha, hope you feel better soon!! ❤️
cindy punches me in the face every time she starts a video and i'm never prepared
No one is, sister. No one is.
Gotta keep u on ur toes
I honestly was so scared going into My Dark Vanessa. I didn’t want to read something romanticizing abuse but wow. It was so well done. My stomach kept turning whenever Stain or whatever said or did some creepy shit to her. It was such a tragic book.
everytime I enter booktok I wonder if Cindy would ever join TikTok??
She'd do it ironically
@@francescakyanda9182 or unironically. it's cindy, so we never know for sure
Ive heard bad things about that place 😳
readwithcindy you gotta just steer clear of straight tiktok😭 it’s a scary place
readwithcindy honestly, i love tiktok because it’s so varied!! as long as you stay away from the tiktok dances and creepy white boys flexing to the camera
I loved ending of my dark Vanessa. And that line that she needed it to be a love story is so.... heartbreaking.
Yes it was done very well!!
Also that scene when she turns 22 (I think) and she is with him and she feels suddenly sad that ‘this’ as been her whole life. So so tragic
Me: "CINDY WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CHAIR THING YOU'RE SITTING IN?!"
Wayfair!
My Dark Vanessa was SO good. So frustrating, so difficult and so nuanced. Mandatory reading for all the lolita/humbert 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 romanticising people. I LOVE how much it dunked on the common motifs of these creepy love stories/Lana Del Rey aesthetic like dedicating Sylvia Plath poems to Vanessa, the cringey maple leaf imagery, photographs etc. The author didnt HESITATE™.
yes it was incredibly nuanced!!!
Cindy in the beginning is me with my exams: IS THE BAR THAT LOW?
Me whenever the exams are curved
Fun fact about the glass castle: most of the stuff she talks about was retold to her by her brother. Apparently he has a super good memory and was able to recount their childhood.
I had to come back to this video just to talk about My Dark Vanessa.
It’s a great look at how predators actually damage their targets in the moment and for years and decades down the road. This is why so don’t believe MAP is a form of love- because you have to care how you affect that person for the rest of their life, you have to care if you’re going to be the thing that makes them feel broken and unclean and wrong for the rest of their lives. The amount of grooming and calculation it takes to engage a victim in this shit goes against the claim that a young person can consent or that they were not specifically targeted. Even if you are attracted and you think that young person IS attracted too, it gives you no excuse to act on that impulse and manipulating the person into going with it or staying quiet. The power is not ever going to be equal and that young person is at significant risk if being messed up for life, all so some shitty teacher can get his rocks off and then move onto the next wave of young girls who don’t know better or are too timid to stop him.
It’s also a fantastic example of how an older man showing interest in you isn’t “special” or meaningful, it’s literally a pattern with him (and others) and the targets can and do age out of the predator’s favor over time. You aren’t that special that a grown man just couldn’t help himself, and you aren’t the only one he is doing this to- and you won’t be the last.
I don’t think Lolita was meant to make Humbert necessarily sympathetic, more like he’s trying to come off that way but it’s supposed to be obvious that he’s a horrible, unreliable shithead. Then again, maybe it isn’t obvious, judging by the fetishization of Lolita as a character now.
But whatever, I think I like this book way better because it just... felt like she had her life fucking worn out by this guy and she tries so hard not to see what he was because she’d have to deal with it, and she’s internalized the blame, and we can relate y’all. I think it’s the grim, gritty, wasted youth and derailed, haunted adulthood that happens to a lot of people as a result and it should be seen. Predators wreck lives and it’s not something people just cry about once and get over.
She said “we” when taking about the furry community. Love to see self acceptance
self love
I need to start a spreadsheet about all the books Cindy have recommended
I'll make a video at the end of the year with all the best books I read!
@@withcindy ooh especially all the non fiction you've read and liked. I am sick of YA and really need to run away from problematic teens 🙏
@@niruktakrishnan5855 Mood
I so COMPLETELY agree with you on my dark vanessa. Every part of it. Especially the ending. It was SO difficult to read but so important. And I really admired the decisions the author made, especially that ending.
yes!!! it was well done
I just read My Dark Vanessa and your critique is spot on. I really appreciated seeing the repercussions of the grooming and the 'relationship' and how it followed the MC into adulthood and the ways it affected her. It was an awful and a brilliant book. Eye opening and honest, making it appear romantic thru her 15 YO eyes, and not, at the same time. I hope this book gets read by many people and helps increase understanding of this topic.
Why does the character description of true colors give me hallmark christmas movie vibes
u would be right
Guys do y'all realise that Cindy has the best comment section ever? Every comment seems so witty and well thought out
I think the same thing!! hopefully she’s proud of her subscribers lol
When the notification goes off for our queen, we answer the call
Yup 😀
We have been summoned 🙇🏻♀️
Y'all arrived earlier than I did because I fell asleep while this video went live
@@withcindy lol xD
I usually would be shocked at hearing “horse girl soap opera” but this is Cindy talking and that’s just the usual
I try to spice up my reading
THE PERFECT TIMING QUEEN IVE BEEN STUDYING FOR 3 HOURS AND I NEED MY HAPPY CHEMICAL
Same
Here is your weekly serotonin!
exact same!! here while typing up my java notes
✨S E R O T O N I N✨
"we do not accept you" I'm new to this channel is it known information that Cindy is a furry
Yeah but she's still in denial
Alright thanks
It's a mystery ♥️
readwithcindy no ♥️
I like the implication with "Is the bar in hell? Is the bar underground" that hell has entered the surface world
yes, yes it has
"Did you mean for this to sound sexy?" // "Sir, this is a McDonald's drive-thru."
YES I’m so happy you mentioned how there is no big showdown when it comes to trauma and it’s also one of the reasons why I adored the book, coming from a survivor who thought that it was an accurate portrayal of how people cope with trauma.
absolutely!
when isn't the middle sibling a peacekeeper they have more de-escalation training than the cops
I just finished My Dark Vanessa this year and it was amazing. I like that my copy included information on how the author did research on trauma and childhood trauma specifically, I feel like that really came out in the text. Also the ending was so satisfying, just to see Vanessa finally starting to do okay and being in a much better place.
“Is the bar so low?”
Cindy, the bar is in the Mariana Trench right now.
welcome to 2020
cindy help ever since the landlord video i haven’t been able to get cocktober out of my head
don't.
The time is almost upon us
Aurora in True Colors sounds like Peggy Schuyler in Hamilton. Just there.
oop---
Cindy is here splitting her monthly wrapup in two parts, meanwhile I can't even split my yearly wrapup in two parts lmao
I just talk way too damn much
I love how honest you are with your critiques in that you don't claim to be the objective judge passing the correct judgment on literature. You acknowledge your values and subjectivity and that ultimately art is subjective. I love that ❤
yes! i dont consider myself a reviewer i just consider myself to be blabbing my subjective thoughts on books lol
22:00 You need to watch I May Destroy You! My favorite thing about it is how it depicts intrusive thoughts.
Cindy: Asian skinny legend 😭😂❤️
It is what it is 🤷♀️
I was hesitant to read My Dark Vanessa for the same reason, I was worried it would be exploitative. But after reading an interview with the author and hearing about how she felt so protective of her protagonist and she spent over 20 years working on it and making sure it was right that I felt comfortable giving it a chance. It’s one of my top 5 books from this year even though I spent most of the book feeling so sick and sad.
lol the intro is literally me talking about my relationship with men... “THE BAR IS ON THE FLOOR”
noooooooo
Love this video, but I do want to add, when I read Lolita (which was admittedly a while ago) I didn’t see the narrator as someone the audience was meant to be sympathetic too. He was sympathetic towards himself and saw himself as someone who couldn’t help it, but I believe that was meant to add to how messed up the situation was. Throughout the book the audience can pick up on how traumatized Dolores is becoming, especially through some scenes near the end. HH is an unreliable narrator, not a sympathetic hero.
thanks for clarifying!!
Who else thought about that one creepy gym teacher at school when they read the title?
Oh no
Fr one gym teacher at my school ( a year before i went there ) got arrested for having sketchy shit on his computer
@@aliceduanra7539 Yeah, there's a glass door to the pool area, and he'd always stare at the girls. 🤮
I am so glad he retired.
@@hannahseling1513 yikes
Sometimes the bar can be on the ground but they can still grab shovels and start to dig.
Just now I was watching last month's wrapup and thinking, "I wonder when Cindy's going to post the next one. I hope it's soon."
My prayers have been answered.
You manifested it ✨
"Get a life, Chloe Brown" sounds a lot like "Te presento a Laura", a mexican movie about a girl who hires a hitman to kill her, she makes a bucketlist and then saves a guy and that guy helps her to finish her bucketlist, and it's a really cute lovestory, very corny, but cute. You should watch it.
2:42 "The middle sister that's just there and is just in the background the whole time" well yeah, that's the middle sibling experience, lmao
and i oop
Maybe the author of the Glass Castle didn't write how she processed with the difficult and conflicting emotions as a child because she hasn't yet. I mean they say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but it can also traumatize you to the core so that you are either depressed or stuck in survival, "don't touch me, don't get close to me, I can do everything myself" mode.
it finally happened. my mother walked in on me watching a readwithcindy video and had to listen to my rushed explanation of how i was just watching book recommendations and not something about a perverted teacher :(
and i oop
A friend of mine recommended this to me and called it "the new lolita". I did feel sick while reading that too, soooo
Edit: you should really read Lolita its so beautifully written.
Lolita is indeed written from male perspective, but the writer exposes his delusional views magnificently through the protagonist's own inner monologues. Powerful and heartbreaking. The troubling thing is that some readers interpret an interesting villain as a non-vilain. Lolita recommended. But...one reads what one wants to read :-). All's good.
@@mapletree3434 .... I am now worried about how you are reading it, If you are conflating the writer with the protagonist like that. The entire work is damning of how horrible a man the main character is, and for him having amazing prose we also see again and again what an unreliable narrator he is. And he reveals the monster he is even as he tries to paint himself as sympathetic.
But anyone who tries to read anything autobiographical into Humbert about Nabokov has been poisoned by how pop culture has twisted the book.
I don't think I could deal with reading Lolita 😩
RenaDeles - If I rightly recall, Nabokov was a victim of abuse and the whole book is being used to condemn pedophilia and whatever “justifications” a pedophile can produce. The whole idea is that there is no excuse that’s why Humbert continually fails to garner sympathy. His actions are despicable to the core. If I do recall correctly, the author would be horrified with what pop culture did with his work
@@withcindy @RenaDeles and I agree on every point. The author exposes narrator/protagonist. My use of the pronoun 'his delusional...' was a mistake. Humbert/protagonist/villain is dilusional, the author is NOT the narrator, English is not my 1st language and Cindy...three weeks of recovery from the book is needed. And a few minutes from this petty discussion. You would get a brilliant prose on a horrible crime that leaves you traumatized on several levels and people who agree regarding the main premises of the novel, yet must thread carefully on every syllable when communicating. That clearly shows if the novel is for you. Take care of that awesomeness of yours!❤️
16:17 That's a huge pet peeve of mine. I hate it when stories put something in just because all the other stories do. If something doesn't fit in your story you don't have to put it in.
Your explanation of the ending of My Dark Vanessa was so well put together! This book was so sad and horrific but I will never regret reading it. When I first read it, I will admit, I was upset with the ending but you are right about how strong, promising resolutions are not typically what happens in life. I thought the portrayal of how this “relationship” truly went on and majorly impacted her life. The things that went differently. I will say though, I wish the author had ventured more into her future relationships during/after college. How her relationship with her dumpster fire of a teacher, influence and messed with her future relationships. While I will most likely never read this book again, it is definitely and unforgettable one.
*was very realistic.
You describing the parents in True Colors really made me think of my parents. They're both very intelligent and creative, but my mom also would say and do crazy things that never added up to me. She was so loving and overly nice sometimes, but other times became so neglectful to the point that I was forced to get my sister up for school and make dinner for us when she wasn't around. Sometimes I think it’s just depression talking for people who do that kind of thing
as a law student. chile. how you gon be a lawyer in a small town and have time to worry about anything other than your crushing student debt is beyond me.
I cannot appreciate how well the psychological dynamics were done in My Dark Vanessa.👏
And I loved the writing! It was so lyrical and dark and beautiful...
It didn't feel like a debut at all
8:40 - Ah, so basically they wrote him like a stereotyped Romany guy.
i meaaaaan....
Portraying fat girls like that in a book should be illegal. Imagine how an kid that's conscious about her weight would feel when she reads a book that's constantly telling her that being fat is something so terrible.
I'm 16 and I've been reading a ton of studentxteacher mangas, and novels for some time now and maybe I needed a reality check on how it actually is. I read my dark vanessa and as someone the same age as her, the words he said, all the flattery and honeyed words, would've made me believe him sadly.I didn't fully understand, but reading it and hearing those words were unsettling yet safe to hear? Like, if I put myself in her shoes, I'd really would have believed him. Yeah, I didn't fully understand it, but it made me aware how easily impressionable and naive I am.
that is so sad...im sorry for you
i really appreciate that cindy knows how to turn it off when talking about really serious subjects and treating it with the nuance it deserves. there was a similar experience from "my dark vanessa" at my high school and i (very luckily) hated the teacher so i never saw the signs but the teacher targeted many other kids. actually, now that i'm thinking about it, a lot of the teachers were fired and charged for similar shit. that high school is so fucked tbh lmao. anyway, when you started talking about it, i was getting ready to dip, but you did a great job tackling the sensitive subjects. thank you~ you dropped this, queen 👑
Take A Hint, Dani Brown is literally perfect for you omg
I can't wait to read it!
LET CINDY OUT OF THE CAGE YOU MONSTER!!!
free me fur mother
I just needed serotonin today, thank you for uploading. I could be witty but like, it’s 2020 bruh.
Your presence alone is enough ✨
“Is the bar really THAT low? Is the BAR really ThAt LOW?!”
Facts girl. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Have priorities and have STANDARDS even if you’re lonely and have low self esteem! 👌🏻
amen!!
"the middle sister... is just there"
yep, seems about right :(
I notice u ☺️
@@withcindy thank you senpai
Book: complete soap opera drama with girls against girls and basic Chad’s existing.
Critics: Magnificent. Heart wrenching. My soul flew out of me. Never seen before.
5 seconds? girl you know I got those notifications on
You're the first comment!!
@@withcindy Wow! I'm finally first for something in life :')
also also what something i really liked about my dark vanessa was the current timeline and you just see the exact extent of Vanessa's trauma manifesting in such subtle ways. Like she still goes about her work and she still has other relationships but her entire psyche has been conditioned for the worst. She's working a dead end job, she's given up all her grand passions, it's a weird listless existence that has nothing and yet everything to do with strane.
If you read any YA please read sick kids in love! As a disabled teen I related to the characters so much and even though the characters are so flawed and annoying, they grow quickly. Also it teaches many memorable lessons about disability and feminism. Love it so much!
Edit: also the love interest is so understanding and kind and real at the same time.
Just finished My Dark Vanessa. Your commentary on it killed me 😂 agree on all fronts. Great and terrible and nauseating, wow.
I know damn well I'm gonna keep reading my spicy gay fiction, but I still love listening to you talk about all the different kinds of books you read.
I've found a fellow person of taste, and all I will say is *same*
I'm honored ♥️
Ooo what's your favorite spicy gay fiction?
You have me super excited to get into My Dark Vanessa! Again, love your reviews!
Hope you enjoy!
I love that Cindy says "Is the bar in hell" before saying "is it under ground" as tho hell is above ground. As tho... we're already in hell... I'm gonna go cry
Okay so you reviewing *My Dark Vanessa* makes me think that you should review after. For some reason, that book was much more like a thriller than a romance because of how toxic the relationship was. It honestly scared me, and not in the joking way. I feel like you would do such a good job at breaking them down.