Slot.it SCP controller basics

If the sheer number of twiddly things on the slot.it SCP controller (1, 2, or 3) have you running for simpler hills, fret not! I'll hold your hand through the treacherous waters of this powerful, and widely misunderstood slot car controller.
But seriously, it's not that complicated if you only change one thing at a time, and pay attention to what effect each control has on the car. In the end, only putting one in your hand will help you learn how to use it.
Note that all these features/functions are more or less the same for all versions of SCP controllers, regardless of what kind of slot car you're racing with them with a few exceptions (such as no brake adjustment for some kinds of digital racing.)