The whole conversation around the 13 minute mark is hard for me to hear, as a 24-year-old woman looking to be a mom someday. My mom did 100% cry-it-out sleep training, because that's what she was TOLD was the right thing to do. She was also told that babies _will_ cry just to get your attention because they want it, even though they don't need anything. She also found breast-feeding too hard, so she bottle-fed formula. And she didn't like having kids in her bed. So there has never been one night that I ever spent in bed snuggling with my mom. And I feel that today. We have a friendly, cordial relationship, but it's distant. She never hurt me or abused me or anything. I _know_ she loves me. But she didn't have ANY of this knowledge, and she was in fact taught the opposite. So now, I just don't have that deep attachment at all. And that makes me so. sad. I really, really, really want to give the kind of connection you're talking about to my children. Because wow... it sounds like it's such a benefit.
So sorry to hear that you were not given the tenderness you craved. Every baby deserves to be cuddled and cherished. I'm sure your mum loves you and did the best she could. Perhaps she had been similarly treated by her mum. If that's the case then It's up to you to break the cycle and be the most tender mum with your baby. Wishing you the best ❤
I’m raising my firstborn son now and just love cuddling and nursing him. Breastfeeding *is* hard! My son was born with tongue and lip ties, so it took almost three whole months before he could just nurse and I didn’t have to pump after he tried and bottle feed him what the pump could extract that he couldn’t. So I feel for your mom and I really feel for you. I admire you learning about all this before you even have children on the way and believe you will be a fantastic mother.
@@An0nAm0nda - Thank you, that's so kind! I don't blame my mom for not breastfeeding me, because with all that I've learned, I DO understand that it's often really hard at first, and the hospital staff were telling her to just give up and not even try, and that she should just feed formula. She didn't have more information than that. I'm so proud of you for continuing to strive to breastfeed even though it's hard!! Keep going, mama.
I started practicing this with my newborn from the start instinctively - it felt so right - breastfeeding is going well and I don't feel sleep deprived. But as my son is now in the risky age between 1 and 4 months anxiety about SIDS started creeping in. I searched more info on co-sleeping and this video came out. Thank you so much for this interview! It has relieved some of the fears and guilt.
I co-sleep, and I noticed that if my son wakes before my liking, once I’ve left the bed, I can put him back at ease by closing my eyes near him. He goes back to sleep, copying my imitation of sleep. Sometimes I can do the same (settle him/put him to sleep) by letting him hold a finger, or placing warm skin (boob/hand) on his cheek.
Yes! I find this so fascinating. My daughter is 3 months old and I do this as well and she responds the same way. So amazing how they mimic what they see/hear.
We’ve stopped birthing like mammals and we’ve lost our mammal instincts because of it. The hospital births are destroying the mother baby connection. The bright lights, the 100 million interruptions and questions, the fear they instill, the telling moms what to do rather than allowing them to trust their instincts. I gave birth to my baby at home with just my husband here, I birthed like a primate, instinctively. All of what this podcast talked about came naturally after. Breastfeeding was simple, there was never a thought of sleeping away from my baby, I’ve never let my baby cry for any period of time. No one could convince me to do otherwise
Thank you so much for this interview! I feel so lucky to find Dr. McKenna and his work shortly before finding this video. As a child, I was traumatized by sleep training CIO, and when my son was born, I was pressed to sleep train him as well by a few medical professionals and the general atmosphere of our society in the US. I didn't go through with it. I simply couldn't. Deep down, it felt wrong, and trying to find experts and approaches to support my intuition, I found out about Dr McKenna. Co-sleeping now in the form of bed-sharing (breast sleeping)with my four months old son was an amazing thing to do in so many ways. There should be more education about safe breast sleeping and less pressure on babies to do unnatural things just to suit their tired parents.
I started cosleeping with newborn because that’s the only way she will sleep. She only sleeps if she’s in my arms. Even if I’m not near her in bed, she scoots to me.
From what I understand from reading up on the subject, no it doesn’t. By making sure the child always feels safe and supported, they are actually more like to become independent earlier in life because they have the confidence of knowing that mom will always be there for them if they need it.
I've found that to be the case for myself and my daughter. Once I started co sleeping everything intensified .. she was able to be put down before then started crying even when id place her down to be changed without. Never used a swing again. Won't use a jumper. Literally just wants to be held all the time when that was never the case.
Once I transitioned back to separate sleep areas she became more independent again and it was a quick change not like a change over time in both instances. It really stunted her ability to do anything independent and made her very clingy. I wouldn't do it again.
All my children co-sleep, but every child will develop according to their environment. My first born is more codependent, naturally, as the first born. He co-slept until he was 2. My second born is less co-dependent, as a second born exposed to more social interaction with a sibling. My second born is not co-dependent at all, and stopped co-sleeping around 9 months. The second was happy to share a room with his older brother. Co-sleeping won’t determine dependency, but the overall environment.
The whole conversation around the 13 minute mark is hard for me to hear, as a 24-year-old woman looking to be a mom someday. My mom did 100% cry-it-out sleep training, because that's what she was TOLD was the right thing to do. She was also told that babies _will_ cry just to get your attention because they want it, even though they don't need anything. She also found breast-feeding too hard, so she bottle-fed formula. And she didn't like having kids in her bed. So there has never been one night that I ever spent in bed snuggling with my mom. And I feel that today. We have a friendly, cordial relationship, but it's distant. She never hurt me or abused me or anything. I _know_ she loves me. But she didn't have ANY of this knowledge, and she was in fact taught the opposite. So now, I just don't have that deep attachment at all. And that makes me so. sad.
I really, really, really want to give the kind of connection you're talking about to my children. Because wow... it sounds like it's such a benefit.
I'm so sorry. Society is to blame.
So sorry to hear that you were not given the tenderness you craved. Every baby deserves to be cuddled and cherished. I'm sure your mum loves you and did the best she could. Perhaps she had been similarly treated by her mum. If that's the case then It's up to you to break the cycle and be the most tender mum with your baby. Wishing you the best ❤
I’m raising my firstborn son now and just love cuddling and nursing him. Breastfeeding *is* hard! My son was born with tongue and lip ties, so it took almost three whole months before he could just nurse and I didn’t have to pump after he tried and bottle feed him what the pump could extract that he couldn’t. So I feel for your mom and I really feel for you. I admire you learning about all this before you even have children on the way and believe you will be a fantastic mother.
@@An0nAm0nda - Thank you, that's so kind! I don't blame my mom for not breastfeeding me, because with all that I've learned, I DO understand that it's often really hard at first, and the hospital staff were telling her to just give up and not even try, and that she should just feed formula. She didn't have more information than that.
I'm so proud of you for continuing to strive to breastfeed even though it's hard!! Keep going, mama.
I started practicing this with my newborn from the start instinctively - it felt so right - breastfeeding is going well and I don't feel sleep deprived. But as my son is now in the risky age between 1 and 4 months anxiety about SIDS started creeping in. I searched more info on co-sleeping and this video came out. Thank you so much for this interview! It has relieved some of the fears and guilt.
good for you. i wish i had found this video a month ago
I co-sleep, and I noticed that if my son wakes before my liking, once I’ve left the bed, I can put him back at ease by closing my eyes near him. He goes back to sleep, copying my imitation of sleep. Sometimes I can do the same (settle him/put him to sleep) by letting him hold a finger, or placing warm skin (boob/hand) on his cheek.
Yes! I find this so fascinating. My daughter is 3 months old and I do this as well and she responds the same way. So amazing how they mimic what they see/hear.
We’ve stopped birthing like mammals and we’ve lost our mammal instincts because of it. The hospital births are destroying the mother baby connection. The bright lights, the 100 million interruptions and questions, the fear they instill, the telling moms what to do rather than allowing them to trust their instincts.
I gave birth to my baby at home with just my husband here, I birthed like a primate, instinctively. All of what this podcast talked about came naturally after. Breastfeeding was simple, there was never a thought of sleeping away from my baby, I’ve never let my baby cry for any period of time. No one could convince me to do otherwise
Thank you so much for this interview! I feel so lucky to find Dr. McKenna and his work shortly before finding this video. As a child, I was traumatized by sleep training CIO, and when my son was born, I was pressed to sleep train him as well by a few medical professionals and the general atmosphere of our society in the US. I didn't go through with it. I simply couldn't. Deep down, it felt wrong, and trying to find experts and approaches to support my intuition, I found out about Dr McKenna. Co-sleeping now in the form of bed-sharing (breast sleeping)with my four months old son was an amazing thing to do in so many ways. There should be more education about safe breast sleeping and less pressure on babies to do unnatural things just to suit their tired parents.
I started cosleeping with newborn because that’s the only way she will sleep. She only sleeps if she’s in my arms. Even if I’m not near her in bed, she scoots to me.
This is so sweet! James McKenna gives some really great tips on how to keep it safe
Brilliant, thank you so much for this education.
Thank you for this podcast! I've heard about McKenna's sleep expertise and this is a great find!
I'm so happy you enjoyed it!
Is there any research on twin bedsharing?
I don't recall that being mentioned in his book, but I would check this website for more resources: cosleeping.nd.edu/
Fascinating interview! Thank you!
Does cosleeping invite co-dependency? I hear so many mothers say their kids are so clingy from cosleeping even only up to 1yr.
From what I understand from reading up on the subject, no it doesn’t. By making sure the child always feels safe and supported, they are actually more like to become independent earlier in life because they have the confidence of knowing that mom will always be there for them if they need it.
I've found that to be the case for myself and my daughter. Once I started co sleeping everything intensified .. she was able to be put down before then started crying even when id place her down to be changed without. Never used a swing again. Won't use a jumper. Literally just wants to be held all the time when that was never the case.
Once I transitioned back to separate sleep areas she became more independent again and it was a quick change not like a change over time in both instances. It really stunted her ability to do anything independent and made her very clingy. I wouldn't do it again.
Kids are clingy because they NEED you and they are learning that you actually answer to their needs
All my children co-sleep, but every child will develop according to their environment. My first born is more codependent, naturally, as the first born. He co-slept until he was 2. My second born is less co-dependent, as a second born exposed to more social interaction with a sibling. My second born is not co-dependent at all, and stopped co-sleeping around 9 months. The second was happy to share a room with his older brother. Co-sleeping won’t determine dependency, but the overall environment.
Marsupial
Almost all asians are doing it...