Another one is a man who always walks out or leaves or disappears when things need to be handled. That's a huge sign that he is very immature. I guess sometimes they're just not fully cooked 😅
Lord have mercy...this 40 year old guy I was involved with...we had a conflict and I tried to talk it out with him. Requested politely he get off the video games while I'm being vulnerable and trying to work out our relationship, but he refused of course. That was the last conversation we ever had. I should NOT have to compete with video games for your time and attention ESPECIALLY when things get tough. A MATURE ADULT would take time to hear a woman out, even if it's at the very beginning of being courted/"talking" as they call it/or a relationship. It's shocking how immature guys can be especially when there's conflict. See how he handles conflict ladies. If he checks out emotionally, he is NOT the one. Period.
Juwariyah Al-Jazeera I feel like I could’ve avoided a lot of my dad would have spoke to me more clearly Than avoid it or ground me or controlling me None of that helped . It would’ve helped if he just spoke to me
ifyouknow youknow I totally get you. These topics are very important. My dad has always been very vocal about how a man should treat me and a lot about me knowing my self-worth and having self-respect. 👌🏻 That’s why When growing up I did a couple of mistakes, but everything after that was smooth sailing.
same!! I dont get it why they would completely shut off when it comes to bigger things. They want it to be just their way, instead of meeting halfway atleast. When we go into new situations, we should stop holding onto old habits. We were engaged and apparently he isn't ready afterall..
This is the exact scenario from my last relationship. He wasn’t mature enough or (ripe yet) he wasn’t a bad man just wasn’t the right man for me. I just needed to know I'm protected (that doesn't just mean physically) In all aspects of the term protection. That's what I was struggling with... In turn I lost all respect for him. I’m naturally nurture, encourage and uplift but that can only go so far. He has to want it also. And if he doesn’t want it or understand. I had to let him go. Resentment would have set in. I couldn’t allow my positive spirit to drain. I still love him and I wish nothing but the best for him. But that’s at a arms distance. **strong stiff arm** I hope he finds his peace
This comment really reached for me! I went through something real rough and he is a good man and all. But some days passed without talking, so i am starting to think just like this comment. It was perfectly written, thank you! And keep it up
For 2 years he would talk about marrying me and me being the mother of his kids one day. I built him up so much by reminding him of his worth when he needed it. When he felt defeated I was always patient and there. I would curve so many because I only had eyes for him, but he was looking elsewhere. After everything he left. I’m way too good for him and I know it.
@@whygiveup11 not true. Some men will remove themselves when they know a woman deserves better. Usually taking time to get themselves together. Men often struggle inwardly with insecurity. They'll actually find a lesser woman so they can feel better about themselves - to increase their own feelings of self worth
I don't think the "handle you" wording is helpful. He's not mature enough for a healthy grown up relationship. A well-adjusted woman doesn't need to be "handled"
I hear you but he doesn't mean it in the way you're thinking. Handle as in "manage" not control. If he can't manage to tie his shoes properly he definitrly can't manage to hold the attention and respect of a grown woman.
I gave my ex three chances. He was immature at 26. We reconnected 10 yrs later still immature. We reconnected again in our 40s. I just knew he had evolved....nope. He still had the same mentality. The only thing that was different 20 yrs later was the sex. It was fantastic but that wasn't enough to keep me. Maybe next lifetime or not.
Wow. This message came at the exact right time as I just told that person I was dealing with that I may not be the one for him. A lot of emotional immaturity. At 45 years old. Still engaging with exes and helping them. I just cannot and will not deal!
Ugh I'm dealing with this right now. I'm in my 30s and he's 10 years older. When we have a conflict and I want to talk about it he shuts down and never answer my questions direct but always say why you trying to argue. This is why things don't get resolved because we as adults can't talk it out. If I can't express how I feel and it's an argument why even bother😐
Don't waste any more time with him. Trust me I know. I spent years with someone who was 10 years older than me and because of that my opinion, thoughts and feeling were NEVER considered...after a while I left.....life is too short for the bullshit!!!!!
So true. A lot of women assume the most problematic issue is a man who cheats but there a lot of guys who just don't know how to be men and that dynamic is essential. Cos if he doesn't know how to play his role it affects your role as well which creates a confusing and frustrating situations hip which as women we try to fix taking us back to Derrick earlier videos on signs that you are a fixer...it is at that point that you should quit and let God take over
NightCat Moon Wow! Been there done this. A whole grown 50 yr old man still acted like a teenager🤦🏽♀️. I had to walk away bcuz he was not on my level. At All.
I've found that most guys that go for significantly younger women are very immature. They're trying to go for a woman who is biologically the same age as they are mentally. The problem is they stay in that low mental age while she may be biologically younger, she grows up mentally and outgrows him. Look for someone your own age. A man who is looking for someone his own age is most likely more intrested in finding a partner and equal, not a submissive youngster who won't challenge him. ❤
GUYS, we shouldn't only have a conversation when you are in your feelings; we allow you to speak on your problem. PLEASE, allow us the same courtesy. This is how we will work together. THANK YOU!!!
I really, really needed to hear this. I just got dumped by this exact kind of guy right before all of this forced isolation because of coronavirus, so I’ve really been stewing about it. I’m going through a serious longstanding medical issue and this guy swore up and down for two years that he wasn’t going anywhere and then all of a sudden had his mom pack up all my stuff in a UPS box and send it to my door (which is ten minutes down the street from him) six days before I was having jaw surgery that I woke up from with blood pouring out of my ears. Since then he’s come back TWICE and both times has immediately dumped me again the next day. The worst part is that the last time I saw him he completely convinced me that all of this was my own fault, essentially because of how irritable and angry (and admittedly needy) I was becoming as a result of all of this physical pain and surgery and medication. Watching this made me realize more than ever that I lost all respect for him years ago because of his lack of both maturity and intelligence, which was only adding to how irritated I already was because of all of this health stuff. I always felt like I had to be his mom on top of what I was already going through. I constantly felt like I was dating a boy and not a man.
You were dating a narc who when he couldn't find a new supply came running back to...He was immature he was gaslighting and playing you....I hope you got rid of him for good!
Thank you for this video. I stayed away from guys because they were immature and only wanted meaningless sex. It use to really get to me when those guys use to shit talk to me saying how in 10 years time they will have the pick of the crop and I will be a shiveled raisen after I declined their wants of meaningless sex. So I looked after myself, did a lot if self improvement and mindset classes, focused on being better every day and it was nice to have a guy like you tell me I am rare woman aging like fine wine :) So ladies, take care of yourselves, moisturise your skin regularly and don't stress :D You will find a decent man who is mature to be with 🙏
My ex has a inconsistentcy of saying they wanted to start a career but played video games all day n didn't work on ANYTHING then had the nerve to say"I'm too tired or don't have any time to work on my career" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank God he's out of my life
I just can’t. I wanted to be an asset. He wanted to be a liability. I wanted a career, a home, and children. He wanted to rent, and said having a home was “too much responsibility “😳 You’re right sir ....✌🏾
For the last 2 years buying a home has been one of the dumbest financial decisions. Save that shit for a relationship with mutual financial stability, yaw'll didn't sound stable.
BlaqueCzar First... that was 19 years ago. I have since then owned and sold two houses. I’m on my 3rd house.... bought 2017. And I know my worth... and my financial stability, but I also knew his... which is why I rolled and did it alone... for me and my child. Thank you for the advice? 😊
I've wasted 7 years of my youth on a man who has never treated me right. 18 - 25. As I've grown older I've been able to open my eyes to things that I didn't used to see. Also, with the abuse I endured growing up I'm so used to ignoring trauma and pushing it in the back of my mind as a learned psychological way to survive. I've had to understand how and why my mind works the way it does, and then correct it. I had no upbringing. No love, no lessons, all alone in the world. Thankfully at 25 I've seen so much more of the truth. And God put a wonderful women who is like a mother to me in my life to help me. I'm planning on how to get out of this relationship right now. Its become dangerous because he has stepped up to physical abuse and I'm financially reliant on him after I lost my job due to Covid. I finally got a new job, and I'm trying to safely plan on getting out without getting hurt. Thankyou Derrick for helping me so much in my journey. You were the first voice of reason that started me on this self awareness and awakening journey. At 25 I'm re starting my life. God's plan and protection is with me! Amen 🙏🏼
Sending so much Light and Love to Italy and everyone else affected by this fast spreading disease. May we all raise the vibration of love to conquer anymore tragedies 🙌🏾💫😘
Really needed to hear all of this thanks...Almost 4 and a half years down the drain. Sadly maturity in other areas does not equate maturity in all areas!!!
So true, so true... if my man askeed me out when I first met him I would've said NO. Good thing he waited 3 years and now we live together, I been to his home country, and I am close with his family... We both were not ready for a serious relationship at the time
Something needs to be done about the “soil” this fruit is planted in...having to wait for a man to be nearly 50+ is unacceptable...parents have a role in this, fathers have abandoned their homes in the community before the war on welfare and has solely focused on sex instead of building legacy, and mothers treat sons like they’re husbands and they can’t fill that void nor should you devoid him of accountability/responsibility and get upset because the dating pool is filled with the same type of guys that you enabled and have forced daughters into masculine roles of providing and independence with no efforts on his behalf...we as heterosexual women shouldn’t have to settle for struggle love or expect to date in the LBGTQ+ community...there is so much more to my thoughts on the family unit as whole (I don’t think every mother is like this or the blame should be on single parents) but I’ll keep it short but there is more 💯
I agree with you to an extent. I think a shift has to be made in the black community especially to rebuild the community and cultivate the "soil" for future generations. There's so much sacrifice that must be made by both men and women to ensure authentic change or social evolution for black people. The black community has been a matriarchy for such a long time and it's time for that shift to occur to strike a balance between masculine and feminine energies if we're to rebuild our homes, provide fathers who can raise masculine sons who take responsibility for their roles in the future. There are so many levels to it though, I suspect we need to think so far out of the box, most aren't capable of making the necessary sacrifices.
This is called "the Prince syndrome" and primarily is the result of being Mom's favorite ... but can be from both parents ... more common with single Moms
He is not mature enough for you, when during an discussion, even that you admit that you made a mistake (if you really did ) and apologize it,he still focused in keeping with discussion than trying to understand, forgive you and tell to his girlfriend to both have a serious conversation about the issues,to make sure that this not happens again....
True! You have to recolt them when they're ready and that's it. I let go of a guy I dated cause we were just not ready for the same kind of relationship.
Bless, his videos are straight shooter no chaser - to 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 point 👏🏻. Ain’t nobody got an hour to sit on here and listen like some other relationship coaches.
That is so true when a guy acts like he can’t grow up a play those little mental games with you it is best to walk away I’ve been in a lot of situations like that to my whole tire life it took me a long time to understand that it was time to walk away as soon as possible and I do that right about now I do not tolerate a man that does not know how to grow up and be a man it could be very depressing and disturbing when you allow yourself to be with someone like that and it turns into a nightmare
Hi Derrick, I dated a man that's 50 years old and I'm coming up to 26. I naively thought that he was mature because of all his baggage. But I was wrong, my intuition kept telling me to be watchful of his behaviour in my absence on Instagram. He is addicted to flerting with other women and I caught him trying to cheat on me with an underaged girl. It repulsed me. I fought for the relationship and gave him my very best because in my presence he was making an effort too. But I was right to listen to my intuition. I left him two days ago and have been trying to get back on my feet emotionally. He didn't admit he's not ready for a relationship just kept stringing me along while he started conversation with other young women. Maturity has nothing to do with age or life experience. It's a personal journey I think.
Thank you for touching on this topic. I like how you’ve put it how the guy isn’t necessarily bad, just not mature enough. I’ve recently gone through a breakup where my now ex had sexted another woman and asked for things that crossed way over the line and had asked her over to his place. I happened to catch it before he followed through. I still can’t say anything bad about him except for what he did lol, but as much as it’s devastating and heartbreaking, I thank him for showing me what stage of life he’s in which doesn’t match mine and isn’t good for me. And so I can take my time and move on with hopes that I will meet others at my level, or stage, of life. Thank you.
Conflict and he's off with another girl/woman.....lol.....or several.....lmao. 😂"Guys are like vegetables!".....love Derrick! Happy New Year Mr.Jaxn .....the world needs more men like you!
I just got out a relationship that degraded to the point of him gaming all day while not in school; meanwhile there's me, working full time and paying everything, and making suppers, and doing chores and cleaning. I felt like his mom/roommate at the end of it. He showed no appreciation. If he had I would have felt like I am supporting him, but no.
My husband always tells me “well I’m here right” if I didn’t love u I wouldn’t be here.. or we are arguing and he says “okay let’s not argue anymore, there” and starts hugging on me and kissing me
A mature woman or girl is always ready to have a conversation with her boyfriend about the issues or problems in their relationship... it may took a few days... but she does!
He was not mature to handle me because he was very irresponsible. He refused to pick up after himself and maintain a clean home and yard (the city gave him a citation when he refused to mow his lawn and clean up all the debris in his front and back yard, he was socially awkward and did not want to get out of the hood to explore and open himself up to new experiences, he also did not believe in improving himself through education to get a better job and move out of the hood while always complaining about crime in the hood, and he prefers to sit around the house all the time watching tv (he has no male friends). and
Vanessa Nkemi I decided to give him a chance to see if he would improve but it got worse. I realized I was dealing with an idiot man-child and there was no hope. Never slept with him thank goodness. I would not be surprised if the city condemned his place since it was so nasty, dirty, and cluttered. It made me sick to my stomach and I felt like I was in an episode of Hoarders. I've been watching the news to see if his neighbors complained of roaches due to his living conditions! SMDH.
@@chrisjackson6023 Sounds like many other women, they date the potential or the idea of what they want the man to be as opposed to what he actually he is and it 99% of the time backfires. Anyways, it's good that you got out of that situation.
Lol. Fruit. Not ripe enough. Derrick, I don't know why I can't stop laughing. I really appreciate the way u simplify things for me and I'm sure many others. Fruit. 😊
If he's not ripe, the relationship will be bitter
Now THAT'S a word sis!
PREACH
THAT
WORD
QUEEN!!😊😊😊😊😊
Come on noooooowwwww!!! 💅🏽
Amen, I'm going to use this.
Amen
Or when he goes silent for days because you told him something he NEEDED to hear
Jasmine McClain,
Red flag 🚩 sign of the cluster B personality disordered silent treatment
This! 🎉
This ‼️
Another one is a man who always walks out or leaves or disappears when things need to be handled. That's a huge sign that he is very immature. I guess sometimes they're just not fully cooked 😅
Fully cooked😅
Half baked! Lol
🤣🤣🤣YASSSS!!!
Very well said
Just divorced the immature man in my life! He refused counseling, so if you not willing to work on yourself, why am I here?! Peace!
Lord have mercy...this 40 year old guy I was involved with...we had a conflict and I tried to talk it out with him. Requested politely he get off the video games while I'm being vulnerable and trying to work out our relationship, but he refused of course. That was the last conversation we ever had. I should NOT have to compete with video games for your time and attention ESPECIALLY when things get tough. A MATURE ADULT would take time to hear a woman out, even if it's at the very beginning of being courted/"talking" as they call it/or a relationship. It's shocking how immature guys can be especially when there's conflict. See how he handles conflict ladies. If he checks out emotionally, he is NOT the one. Period.
Rush EWWWWWWWW🤢🤮. That’s guys a loser
Lmfao ewwww
I wouldve thrown his shit out the window
Real shit!! If they are not emotionally involved in our relationship than I don’t want to know. So glad that I am 18 and thinking this way already 👏🏻
Juwariyah Al-Jazeera please don’t bother dating until at least 22-23 it’s pointless
Both of you have nothing to offer each other after high school
Juwariyah Al-Jazeera I feel like I could’ve avoided a lot of my dad would have spoke to me more clearly
Than avoid it or ground me or controlling me
None of that helped .
It would’ve helped if he just spoke to me
ifyouknow youknow I totally get you. These topics are very important. My dad has always been very vocal about how a man should treat me and a lot about me knowing my self-worth and having self-respect. 👌🏻 That’s why When growing up I did a couple of mistakes, but everything after that was smooth sailing.
Yes. THIS!! I wasted 5 years and nearly married a guy like this. 🤦🏾♀️ Thank GOD I came to my senses!
same!! I dont get it why they would completely shut off when it comes to bigger things. They want it to be just their way, instead of meeting halfway atleast. When we go into new situations, we should stop holding onto old habits. We were engaged and apparently he isn't ready afterall..
Saaame
Your lucky you came to your senses and got the hell on... I envy you and hope to get there soon. Unfortunately I married him💔😞😠
Did I write this comment?! Same here!
@@deedriver4566 Get yourself a good white man or a good Mexican man! 💜👍🏾
This is the exact scenario from my last relationship. He wasn’t mature enough or (ripe yet) he wasn’t a bad man just wasn’t the right man for me. I just needed to know I'm protected (that doesn't just mean physically) In all aspects of the term protection. That's what I was struggling with... In turn I lost all respect for him. I’m naturally nurture, encourage and uplift but that can only go so far. He has to want it also. And if he doesn’t want it or understand. I had to let him go. Resentment would have set in. I couldn’t allow my positive spirit to drain.
I still love him and I wish nothing but the best for him. But that’s at a arms distance. **strong stiff arm**
I hope he finds his peace
Your comment speaks VOLUMES.. living in this situation currently, while trying to find my own peace. Thank you for this... *Strong Stiff Arm*
Admire your strength!
This comment really reached for me! I went through something real rough and he is a good man and all. But some days passed without talking, so i am starting to think just like this comment. It was perfectly written, thank you! And keep it up
Are you me ? I just screenshoted the message so I will remind me everyday why I should not go back
🙌🏼🙏🏼🙌🏼
Lol, the fact that your friend was holding on to her previously rejecting him means he still ain't the one for her.
Fact
For 2 years he would talk about marrying me and me being the mother of his kids one day. I built him up so much by reminding him of his worth when he needed it. When he felt defeated I was always patient and there. I would curve so many because I only had eyes for him, but he was looking elsewhere. After everything he left. I’m way too good for him and I know it.
If you were too good for him he wouldn't have left
whygiveup11 a loyal women is beneath an unappreciative man? -> lol
bigjayking24 true story
@@whygiveup11 not true. Some men will remove themselves when they know a woman deserves better. Usually taking time to get themselves together. Men often struggle inwardly with insecurity. They'll actually find a lesser woman so they can feel better about themselves - to increase their own feelings of self worth
@@sara_208 That's not what I'm saying how someone sees things doesn't always match reality. Which is why I said what I said.
I don't think the "handle you" wording is helpful. He's not mature enough for a healthy grown up relationship. A well-adjusted woman doesn't need to be "handled"
I hear you but he doesn't mean it in the way you're thinking. Handle as in "manage" not control. If he can't manage to tie his shoes properly he definitrly can't manage to hold the attention and respect of a grown woman.
CalLadyQED That’s right!
Church
I agree
💥 TRUE
A mature woman needs reciprocity
Relationships are for good , mature men and women.
I gave my ex three chances. He was immature at 26. We reconnected 10 yrs later still immature. We reconnected again in our 40s. I just knew he had evolved....nope. He still had the same mentality. The only thing that was different 20 yrs later was the sex. It was fantastic but that wasn't enough to keep me. Maybe next lifetime or not.
my theory is that people dont change after 25. there are always exceptions but most people stay the same.
That's who he is and he will always be. He showed you each time; believe him. GOD Bless
Wow. This message came at the exact right time as I just told that person I was dealing with that I may not be the one for him. A lot of emotional immaturity. At 45 years old. Still engaging with exes and helping them. I just cannot and will not deal!
Ugh I'm dealing with this right now. I'm in my 30s and he's 10 years older. When we have a conflict and I want to talk about it he shuts down and never answer my questions direct but always say why you trying to argue. This is why things don't get resolved because we as adults can't talk it out. If I can't express how I feel and it's an argument why even bother😐
🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️ RUN!!!! 😉
While you still can!!! Please!
My life each day. 🙄 SMH
✌️
Don't waste any more time with him. Trust me I know. I spent years with someone who was 10 years older than me and because of that my opinion, thoughts and feeling were NEVER considered...after a while I left.....life is too short for the bullshit!!!!!
So true. A lot of women assume the most problematic issue is a man who cheats but there a lot of guys who just don't know how to be men and that dynamic is essential. Cos if he doesn't know how to play his role it affects your role as well which creates a confusing and frustrating situations hip which as women we try to fix taking us back to Derrick earlier videos on signs that you are a fixer...it is at that point that you should quit and let God take over
I definitely agree. Men take longer to "ripe"...sometimes waayyy longer😭
There are a fair amount of still unripened ones in their late 40s and 50s
I think that’s why people don’t go for their age mates /same years
I’m screaming
@@Aust00 exactly
No that's giving men a excuse to act childish more longer
my ex was a 50 year old, but acted like a kid when he didn't like the things i said or did. toxic
if anything i was more mature then him. i'm 30.
Maturity has nothing to do with...Age...
You can find Young and MATURE!...
And...Old and....IMMATURE!..
Vis/Versa
NightCat Moon Wow! Been there done this. A whole grown 50 yr old man still acted like a teenager🤦🏽♀️. I had to walk away bcuz he was not on my level. At All.
I've found that most guys that go for significantly younger women are very immature. They're trying to go for a woman who is biologically the same age as they are mentally. The problem is they stay in that low mental age while she may be biologically younger, she grows up mentally and outgrows him. Look for someone your own age. A man who is looking for someone his own age is most likely more intrested in finding a partner and equal, not a submissive youngster who won't challenge him. ❤
It actually seems the older they get the dumber they get!
Julie Dewyer There you go!💯
You always been my inspiration on the journey of celibacy!!! Thank you🙏💪
GUYS, we shouldn't only have a conversation when you are in your feelings; we allow you to speak on your problem. PLEASE, allow us the same courtesy. This is how we will work together. THANK YOU!!!
That really goes without saying
Eventually one of the two things will happen:he'll realize you're worth it, or you'll realize that he isn't 😉
I really, really needed to hear this. I just got dumped by this exact kind of guy right before all of this forced isolation because of coronavirus, so I’ve really been stewing about it. I’m going through a serious longstanding medical issue and this guy swore up and down for two years that he wasn’t going anywhere and then all of a sudden had his mom pack up all my stuff in a UPS box and send it to my door (which is ten minutes down the street from him) six days before I was having jaw surgery that I woke up from with blood pouring out of my ears. Since then he’s come back TWICE and both times has immediately dumped me again the next day. The worst part is that the last time I saw him he completely convinced me that all of this was my own fault, essentially because of how irritable and angry (and admittedly needy) I was becoming as a result of all of this physical pain and surgery and medication. Watching this made me realize more than ever that I lost all respect for him years ago because of his lack of both maturity and intelligence, which was only adding to how irritated I already was because of all of this health stuff. I always felt like I had to be his mom on top of what I was already going through. I constantly felt like I was dating a boy and not a man.
You were dating a narc who when he couldn't find a new supply came running back to...He was immature he was gaslighting and playing you....I hope you got rid of him for good!
I wish I would have seen this video 15 years ago! I’m glad I know better know!!! Thanks for the upload!
Geneva D. Prayers to you in Italy
Thank you for this video. I stayed away from guys because they were immature and only wanted meaningless sex. It use to really get to me when those guys use to shit talk to me saying how in 10 years time they will have the pick of the crop and I will be a shiveled raisen after I declined their wants of meaningless sex.
So I looked after myself, did a lot if self improvement and mindset classes, focused on being better every day and it was nice to have a guy like you tell me I am rare woman aging like fine wine :) So ladies, take care of yourselves, moisturise your skin regularly and don't stress :D
You will find a decent man who is mature to be with 🙏
no ripe ones left, they all rotten or bought.
Amen
🤣🤣
Damn! You made me laugh! I feel the same a lot of time...But I’m hoping we’re wrong 🤞🏼🤷🏻♀️
“You ain’t really came up that much.” LMFAOOO let him know.
🥴😂
My ex has a inconsistentcy of saying they wanted to start a career but played video games all day n didn't work on ANYTHING then had the nerve to say"I'm too tired or don't have any time to work on my career" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank God he's out of my life
I just can’t. I wanted to be an asset. He wanted to be a liability. I wanted a career, a home, and children. He wanted to rent, and said having a home was “too much responsibility “😳
You’re right sir ....✌🏾
For the last 2 years buying a home has been one of the dumbest financial decisions. Save that shit for a relationship with mutual financial stability, yaw'll didn't sound stable.
@ I'm over it already, Your name alone says it all! Good on you for ✌🏾
BlaqueCzar
First... that was 19 years ago. I have since then owned and sold two houses. I’m on my 3rd house.... bought 2017.
And I know my worth... and my financial stability, but I also knew his... which is why I rolled and did it alone... for me and my child.
Thank you for the advice? 😊
TeiubescDM
Been there rocked that. On my 3rd home. Done buying houses. And I have always had my coins right and tight.
Shanté Devyne
Thank you Shante. 😊👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😆👏🏾😆
Yep that is true. Some people have a lot of growing up to do.
Or, if his credit score is lower than yours. Mess w that too long and you end up losing points.
I've wasted 7 years of my youth on a man who has never treated me right. 18 - 25. As I've grown older I've been able to open my eyes to things that I didn't used to see. Also, with the abuse I endured growing up I'm so used to ignoring trauma and pushing it in the back of my mind as a learned psychological way to survive. I've had to understand how and why my mind works the way it does, and then correct it. I had no upbringing. No love, no lessons, all alone in the world. Thankfully at 25 I've seen so much more of the truth. And God put a wonderful women who is like a mother to me in my life to help me. I'm planning on how to get out of this relationship right now. Its become dangerous because he has stepped up to physical abuse and I'm financially reliant on him after I lost my job due to Covid. I finally got a new job, and I'm trying to safely plan on getting out without getting hurt. Thankyou Derrick for helping me so much in my journey. You were the first voice of reason that started me on this self awareness and awakening journey. At 25 I'm re starting my life. God's plan and protection is with me! Amen 🙏🏼
Me too !! I feel alone message me please 9726897645
Derrick, I swear you are in my head or reading my mind.. you always hit it right on the nail!
I like that expression, he just ain’t ripe!!!!!!! Keep growing!!!!
Delt with someone like that never again
Hi I’m from Italy and we’re going through a lot these days ! Anyways I still watch you’re videos ♥️♥️🇮🇹
Clara Ferrari Take care and be safe love 🙏🏽
G I’m trying but we don’t have hope bcz I live on the northern part so I’ve to be prepared anyway sending loves ❤️
You're in my prayers. Godspeed and take care of yourself. 😇
Sending so much Light and Love to Italy and everyone else affected by this fast spreading disease. May we all raise the vibration of love to conquer anymore tragedies 🙌🏾💫😘
stay safe
Mr Jaxn, why you always pull through @ the right time? This is the confirmation I needed. Dumping my bf tomorrow.
Godspeed!
Really needed to hear all of this thanks...Almost 4 and a half years down the drain. Sadly maturity in other areas does not equate maturity in all areas!!!
So true, so true... if my man askeed me out when I first met him I would've said NO. Good thing he waited 3 years and now we live together, I been to his home country, and I am close with his family... We both were not ready for a serious relationship at the time
Oooomg this came at the right time, wow needed to hear this you were so on point. Very true👍🏽
Real talk from a real man, again!!! I so appreciate you for posting this!!!
How do you know if he's a " real man"
Unfortunately that not ripe guy has gotten older and older and by now he is forever bitter. 😆😁😅😄
With plenty of rotten(dark) spots!! 😤
Receding hairline and crooked bottom teeth too. Immature at 42 🤣
I just dealt with one just like that.🤷🏽♀️
It’s sad loads of guys are out there just as you described.Its concerning to be honest.
Thanks Derrick!!! STAY BLESSED ‼️❤️
Something needs to be done about the “soil” this fruit is planted in...having to wait for a man to be nearly 50+ is unacceptable...parents have a role in this, fathers have abandoned their homes in the community before the war on welfare and has solely focused on sex instead of building legacy, and mothers treat sons like they’re husbands and they can’t fill that void nor should you devoid him of accountability/responsibility and get upset because the dating pool is filled with the same type of guys that you enabled and have forced daughters into masculine roles of providing and independence with no efforts on his behalf...we as heterosexual women shouldn’t have to settle for struggle love or expect to date in the LBGTQ+ community...there is so much more to my thoughts on the family unit as whole (I don’t think every mother is like this or the blame should be on single parents) but I’ll keep it short but there is more 💯
I agree with you to an extent. I think a shift has to be made in the black community especially to rebuild the community and cultivate the "soil" for future generations. There's so much sacrifice that must be made by both men and women to ensure authentic change or social evolution for black people. The black community has been a matriarchy for such a long time and it's time for that shift to occur to strike a balance between masculine and feminine energies if we're to rebuild our homes, provide fathers who can raise masculine sons who take responsibility for their roles in the future. There are so many levels to it though, I suspect we need to think so far out of the box, most aren't capable of making the necessary sacrifices.
I agree. The roles have switched and it's sad to witness because I grew up when men took care of their families on every level.
You said a WORD! YES💯💯💯
This is called "the Prince syndrome" and primarily is the result of being Mom's favorite ... but can be from both parents ... more common with single Moms
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
The thing you said about the video games and making jokes at bad times hit me hard. My ex boyfriend was so like that.
Curbed a guy just like that earlier! 😂🤷♀️
This is soo true and why i broke things off with him! Glad i didnt give in! Yay me!! Go team Jaxn!
Thank you for your time Derrick. It's greatly appreciated.
He is not mature enough for you, when during an discussion, even that you admit that you made a mistake (if you really did ) and apologize it,he still focused in keeping with discussion than trying to understand, forgive you and tell to his girlfriend to both have a serious conversation about the issues,to make sure that this not happens again....
Speak it, the truth! Thank you Derrick!
OMG..😮JUST TOLD MY GUY THIS SAME THING 2HRS AGO.😌👏👂👌
🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️ RUN!!! 😉
True! You have to recolt them when they're ready and that's it.
I let go of a guy I dated cause we were just not ready for the same kind of relationship.
I love you so much Derrick ❤️❤️
In the words of my girl K. Michelle “you can’t raise a man” period. 🙅🏽♀️
Bless, his videos are straight shooter no chaser - to 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 point 👏🏻. Ain’t nobody got an hour to sit on here and listen like some other relationship coaches.
Derrick, Derrick 💣 Derrick.... Here you go AGAIN!!! all up in my living room. Give up the Word ~ real time. 🌠
I am currently reading your book and ..... THANK YOU 🙌🏽 I’m mostly though it in 1 day and still going! I will be recommending.
That is so true when a guy acts like he can’t grow up a play those little mental games with you it is best to walk away I’ve been in a lot of situations like that to my whole tire life it took me a long time to understand that it was time to walk away as soon as possible and I do that right about now I do not tolerate a man that does not know how to grow up and be a man it could be very depressing and disturbing when you allow yourself to be with someone like that and it turns into a nightmare
Hi Derrick, I dated a man that's 50 years old and I'm coming up to 26. I naively thought that he was mature because of all his baggage. But I was wrong, my intuition kept telling me to be watchful of his behaviour in my absence on Instagram. He is addicted to flerting with other women and I caught him trying to cheat on me with an underaged girl. It repulsed me. I fought for the relationship and gave him my very best because in my presence he was making an effort too. But I was right to listen to my intuition. I left him two days ago and have been trying to get back on my feet emotionally. He didn't admit he's not ready for a relationship just kept stringing me along while he started conversation with other young women. Maturity has nothing to do with age or life experience. It's a personal journey I think.
Thank you for touching on this topic. I like how you’ve put it how the guy isn’t necessarily bad, just not mature enough. I’ve recently gone through a breakup where my now ex had sexted another woman and asked for things that crossed way over the line and had asked her over to his place. I happened to catch it before he followed through. I still can’t say anything bad about him except for what he did lol, but as much as it’s devastating and heartbreaking, I thank him for showing me what stage of life he’s in which doesn’t match mine and isn’t good for me. And so I can take my time and move on with hopes that I will meet others at my level, or stage, of life. Thank you.
I Swear He Just Read My Mind ! The Best Topic For Independent, Single Women 💯
Omg the conflict example, yess . It gets so tiring .
Conflict and he's off with another girl/woman.....lol.....or several.....lmao. 😂"Guys are like vegetables!".....love Derrick! Happy New Year Mr.Jaxn .....the world needs more men like you!
D at home busting out the videos for us. Keep 'em coming! 😘
This is so helpful! I have been going through alot in our marriage and we have a baby boy. I just want him to see that he is not perfect no one is!
I swear UA-cam can read my mind .. just thought of this topic today from my recent experiences !
I just got out a relationship that degraded to the point of him gaming all day while not in school; meanwhile there's me, working full time and paying everything, and making suppers, and doing chores and cleaning. I felt like his mom/roommate at the end of it. He showed no appreciation. If he had I would have felt like I am supporting him, but no.
Thank you, beautiful!💕
Love Australia
🖤💛❤️
Come in now say so 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽👍🏾🙏🏾
FACTS! Continue to be Blessed!
My husband always tells me “well I’m here right” if I didn’t love u I wouldn’t be here.. or we are arguing and he says “okay let’s not argue anymore, there” and starts hugging on me and kissing me
Thank you for posting this! I agree with you 100% 🙌🏽
Best video from him. Sometimes we’re just not ripe yet.
Absolutely focused on myself
A mature woman or girl is always ready to have a conversation with her boyfriend about the issues or problems in their relationship... it may took a few days... but she does!
Thank you!! For your messages!!!
I need to get that damn book👏🏾👏🏾🤷🏾♀️😂😂 I need something during my pregnancy isolation in the corona days🤣🤣
Thank you love your talks
Very handsome I might add
Love light peace 💕
This is why I left my ex fiancé .. too immature to apologize for his wrongs, put his pride aside and make effort. So over him and over it 🤣
“Especially if she stays the same age”😂😂👌🏼
If he never gets ripe I guess you can say he's expired if ya know what I mean. 😂
Truth
Yess just in time
Exactly. This is why I don't understand why men are considered logical?
You are honest and hilarious
He was not mature to handle me because he was very irresponsible. He refused to pick up after himself and maintain a clean home and yard (the city gave him a citation when he refused to mow his lawn and clean up all the debris in his front and back yard, he was socially awkward and did not want to get out of the hood to explore and open himself up to new experiences, he also did not believe in improving himself through education to get a better job and move out of the hood while always complaining about crime in the hood, and he prefers to sit around the house all the time watching tv (he has no male friends).
and
Wait why would you even get with someone like that in the first place? Like what on earth attracted you to him?
Vanessa Nkemi I decided to give him a chance to see if he would improve but it got worse. I realized I was dealing with an idiot man-child and there was no hope. Never slept with him thank goodness. I would not be surprised if the city condemned his place since it was so nasty, dirty, and cluttered. It made me sick to my stomach and I felt like I was in an episode of Hoarders. I've been watching the news to see if his neighbors complained of roaches due to his living conditions! SMDH.
Maritza 201 I know. It was a nightmare!
@@chrisjackson6023 Sounds like many other women, they date the potential or the idea of what they want the man to be as opposed to what he actually he is and it 99% of the time backfires. Anyways, it's good that you got out of that situation.
Vanessa Nkemi You are so right! At least I LIVED to tell others what happened because I had no hazmat suit.
Lol. Fruit. Not ripe enough. Derrick, I don't know why I can't stop laughing. I really appreciate the way u simplify things for me and I'm sure many others. Fruit. 😊
Glad you touched on this topic! Great video
What's happin' Team Jaxn. 💣
Glad mynold man is great and even after 22 years
I was just having this conversation! 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
A healthy mature woman needs reciprocity not immaturity. Put your crown on stand tall and let your feet do the talking
“He’s not ripe” - my favorite Jaxnism yet to date! 😂
Omg, you are hitting right on. That's EXACTLY what I'm going thru. 😒😔
🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️ RUN!!! Won't change...😉
Like I a friend who is honest 👍🏾
I'm going to give you thumbs up on the title alone
Looking good bro!!
Great video! Thanks for posting!!
Wow, so on point! And so dam handsome, lol. Thanks, D!
💯This is so me! 💯
Speak, Derrick! Yesssss!!! 😂