✨ 30 day free trial w/ free audiobook at my sponsor, Audible: www.audibletrial.com/FJ The Untethered Soul amzn.to/2TxRg6l If you hate the phone for a different reason, share in the comments!
“The Untethered Soul” is a beautiful book and can support introverts in doing phone calls. It helps you to get out of the repetitive thinking, which causes so much of our anxiety.
YUP! If I don't know why you're calling already, I'm not picking up. If I do know why you're calling, I'm still probably not picking me. Send me a damn email so I can spend two days perfecting my half sentence reply lol
@@Abhayabhayam same. I once put one of my favourite songs as a ringtone, and after some days I regretted it. Same goes for my alarm tone. It took a long time for me to be able to enjoy those songs without having memories of getting nervous of getting phonecalls with that music.
You would think that face time would help an introvert feel less stressed because they can actually see visual cues, but it doesn't. It's more stressful to do a face time.
My father's wife always facetime me when im high or tired or working. Zero warning. Its annoying and so stressful. I hate being seen. I dont shut my blind for nothing.
I don’t use Skype or video chat. People are always asking and I’m thinking in my head, “ummm, fuck no.” while saying out loud, “yeah, sure, I’ve, umm, gotta, ummm, just down load the app. Text me. We’ll set it up”. Then never respond the the text. Ever. Respond to others but never acknowledge the video request one.
Not answering is even worse for me. They might call back any second. If not I have to go through the whole process of preparing myself to call them again.
I totally do that. I call it my Autopilot Mode, and I had one friend (an INTJ) who totally picked up on that and knew almost immediately when I was kind of done and not listening anymore and would call me out on it and laugh. Lol!
I quit social media and decided to write the people that I love letters instead. I don’t really get letters back but it’s so much more fulfilling to send those letters than using social media
I always thought if I am bothering my friends by making a phone call. But now I know that there are millions of people worldwide who can relate to me. I loved this video!
A drunk person, can be extrovert or a very very veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery drunk introvert that wants to bother you (and knows it), or just an emergency, but nah, most likely a drunk person.
I really hate not having visual clues or not being prepared for what I'm going to say, if I have to receive a call I'd like to know like a week in advance to prepare myself
It’s easier for me to speak in person because awkward silences on the phone are a million times worse than in person, at least the other person can understand that I’m just trying to think of a reply or something to say and that I’ve not left the conversation, the worst thing is when there is an awkward silence and you and the other person then speak at the same time 😣
True. I done answer phonecalls if its not one of my family members and if this person calls me repeatedly then i answer cuz i know its urgent. But doorbells...... when someone rings and I live alone, I stay silent, dont move and pretend to not be home until they leave. One plus is that they cant see my windows and the light coming from inside the room, soooo hehehehehe
The only phone call I answer or call back instantly is my mom's. She's my parent, obviously, but also because I can be honest with her (I can tell her I don't want to talk right now) and she won't be offended. Whenever I say that I don't want to talk to my friends, they either are offended or they think I'm mad at them. No, I am not mad and no, I'm not saying I don't want to talk to YOU, I just don't want to talk in general.
Can one of you tell my grandparents that it IS too much to ask that I call them once a year to congratulate them on their birthday, and that it's not just me, and that they could instantly solve that if they had the damn decency to finally get internet and an email address, or perhaps a phone with a text messenger? I'll... I'll give you their phone number...
Oh my God!!!!you are totally saying the truth about me.Whenever I'm my mom says that call someone I'm always praying that don't answer!! don't answer!!! And when they answer I'm like : Bitch!you dumbass why did you answer.
The worst part about receiving calls is how the other person is just reaching into my life, intruding so blatantly and blindly on whatever I'm doing. My mental sanctuary is disrupted and shattered.
Answering-machines & voice-mail systems are a godsend to the introvert. Just leave the thing on all the time, turn the ringer off the phone so that you're not disturbed, and then just periodically check for messages. Screen them looking for important messages (there won't be that many, I guarantee it) & dump the rest. Being able to just hit 'delete' without even having to talk go the person is one of the most sublime satisfactions in the world...
@@MrPGC137 1. You will have the knowledge of not having answered the person hanging over you constantly. 2. If you face your fears and deal with what is hard, it _will_ get better.
The really terrible people are the ones that text and when you reply, they immediately call you. Why oh why? 🙄😂 But yes, phone calls do get easier with practice.
My parents and in-laws. If my phone rings, I mostly know it’s them for that reason! Although now I just expect bad news when they call...not an introvert thing, but a conditioned response 😕
R.N.K. Alexiadis It sucks having coworkers, who you’ve never met in person. How awkward is it going to be when we actually get to go back to an office?
I agree... For me it's also when someone knocks on my door or rings the bell on my apartment. It gets me so really anxious. I usually (if possible) try to not make noise so they just leave 😂 and also stay real quiet for the next 10 minutes (just in case lol)
I agree I hate the “POP IN” whether I’m busy or not I have to stop and try to entertain you,unless it’s an emergency, I don’t care if you were in the neighborhood Show some respect 😡🤬
Working in retail is so hard, I know I have to help people, I don’t have a problem with that but it’s more of talking to my coworkers that I have to make an excuse to end the conversation
Exactly. I can spend 3 hours rewriting the same email, and then look at it the next day and thank heavens I didn't send it out like that. On the phone, I have a second to think about it, and I consistently mess up every single thing I say.
The best communication device of all, is the letter. Nothing has improved on the Victorian communication equipment. Pen, ink, Basildon Bond, envelopes, stamp and Pillar Boxes.
That happened to me for an entire week, I’m a introvert to an extreme level by the way. It doesn’t help that a lot of my class mates live around where I live, so they naturally know the general vicinity or area where I live. Also sometimes I carpool with friends who live in the area so basically, classmates used to show up to my house unannounced for awhile.
Hitting that dial button to me takes a lot more courage than jumping out of an airplane. I've done both. Would choose the airplane every time. Not even joking.
What about hating small talk? Phone calls tend to be long, drawn out small talk sessions. I'm trapped on a phone with nothing to do, the person on the other end has nothing interesting to say and neither do I. I cant distract myself on the internet cause I'm on my phone. Its boring, intrusive, and just the worst feeling of being trapped.
Haha me while on the phone….im reading or playing on game on my iPad…now if it’s a serious convo… then I don’t …then it takes me a bit to unstress after the call…
Totally nailed it with introverts worry that they are irritating others by initiating conversations. I do tend to feel I'm doing my friends and family a favor by leaving them alone.
I don't even like to order takeout by phone. Food delivery in the COVID age - Doordash, et al. YES! just fill out the menu form and click send! NO CONTACT DELIVERY! :-D
I personally worry about forgetting things, so I always have to write a sort of script before hand and with more serious phone calls, I’m afraid they’ll ask something and I won’t know the answer and be stuck.
I always plan my calls that I have to do, write down notes about what is important and plan the words to end the calls... when somebody calls me I never pick up. I look who called and decide if or when I will call back .. my friends know that and if they have to talk to me personal, they send me a message and I can call them when I'm ready to socialize... even when my grown up kids need my help, they text me before: it's important, answer my call 😅
I can’t even handle when people leave voice messages. It’s been 3 days since a friend left one and I’m still preparing myself to listen to it and reply
Haha. My sister in law always leaves a message for me on my birthday. It's always the nicest thing but for some reason it makes me so nervous. It usually takes at least a day to go listen. That's so weird I do that.
HOLY F*CK 😳 L O L this makes me feel sooooo much more normal ! 😅 I cannot deal with spur-of-the-moment phone calls so I always send them to voicemail, and then I literally don’t have the mental energy to deal with listening to the message and calling them back, so the message stays there unlistened for days or weeks and I feel increasingly guiltier and guiltier for: 1) sending their call to VM in the first place 2) bring rude by not listening and calling them back - ie now I’m ignoring them! 🤦♀️ I want to delete VM option all together, but I do need it for my business and appointments and stuff 😑
That's me right there like your comment said. I put the voice mail thingy set at the highest number of calls I can set it to (caller might give up and hang up lol). I even tried to get the company I have the internet/phone/cable bundle with to take off the voice mail thing, but they said its easier to just leave it the way it is. Voice mail makes me nervous lol.
Does anyone else here despise the mere sound of a ringing phone? Seriously, I wish I could just show this vid to everyone I know. About a dozen loved ones are furious with me about my phone idiosyncrasy. Another dozen think I'm angry with them because I don't call. Extroverts take these things way too seriously.
Why should they be forced to do things your way because it makes you feel uncomfortable? Have you considered that someone may be calling you because they want to hear your voice because a text or email is cold and distant to them? Being an extrovert doesn’t mean you aren’t shy or worry about saying something stupid in person, it just means you gain energy around people. Just being around people is great even if you don’t speak a word just hearing what others have to say.
This video so helped me understand why I feel the way I do. I have ADHD and was convinced that was the reason I hate the phone so much. The worst of all are the damn telemarketers, I am on the do not call registry yet still receive at least 4-6 calls a day. So glad to know now why I want to unplug the landline and put cell on do not disturb all day everyday!
This is so accurate. Number 4 is definitely one of the reasons that phonecalls tend to make me anxious. However, it’s also true that it gets easier with practise, which I’ve honestly found to be true for most things I’ve been anxious about.
I remember having a answering machine years ago, and trying to make a message with my voice for the caller to leave a message, I tried a bunch of times and every time I played it back thought I sounded like a complete idiot , because I would stammer and forget what I was saying or my message sounded nervous and rushed , finally I just gave up and used the default robot voice that the unit already had
My mom only calls me to ask me when I'm coming home or scold me if I'm late And my dad calls me if he wants me to buy something while I'm out But i still hate those calls😂
@Pabz 😂🤣😂🤣 I laughed so hard at this comment HAHA bc it has happened to me and in my head I'm like ok well f*ck u 2 then. So then when they eventually call me back, usually on how to fix a problem (research related, job related, need a connection, or even dating advice, etc) I say I dunno. I have to go. Buh-bye 👋 Karma baby 😎 ~ 💖 ESFJ
I used to have that problem, but I stopped caring. I tell people when they get my number that I hate phone calls, so I don't feel bad when I've already allowed you to keep my here for half an hour to be gracious.
For me, it’s the awkwardness of not knowing what to say in certain situations and not wanting to disrupt the sanctity of the moment especially when I’m doing absolutely nothing!
My uncle called and he says sum bout the view of a river from his yard I'm just like: Oh? 😃What's the name of the river? (🤦🏾♀️) Him: blah blah blah.. Me: oh okay...(😬) 😃 nice......
Me: receives call Me: stares at the phone *Phone call ends* Me : Hey, sorry, missed your call. Can't talk right now (I absolutely can) can you text me what it was? Them : Oh, never mind, it's not important ...
My emails are short usually but that's because I'll spend two weeks editing a two sentence reply until it's perfect. Any longer than that and it just never gets sent because by the time I'm ready to hit send it's three months later and no longer relevant lol
I do this. Because if I get it right enough and clear enough, they hopefully won't be calling or texting for clarification. Again. It's worth the extra 20 minutes in the first place not to have to deal with another demand later.
For me, it is often times about ‘feeling attacked’ by a phone call. It is definitely a wrongful interpretation on my part, but a phone call gives me this feeling that the other person is demanding my time, right now, they want to be answered, right now, and they are putting their desire for instant gratification above the convenience of the recipient of the phone call.
I don't like the feeling that they have leverage over me. They have an advantage. if they ask for a favor I have no time to think about it or weigh my options. I feel like they know I don't have time so it's kind of like manipulation. I hate that feeling.
That's literally it though, when I emergency chat someone and they didn't reply right away, I'd call them and say, "see chat" and hit end call as soon as they accept
I broke up with a guy over this! His constant phone calls were stressing me out so badly! He just couldn't grasp that I when I was alone I truly wanted to be alone and that meant no communication at all. It doesn't help that I'm tone deaf and rely heavily on visual clues to follow a conversation
My ex sister-in-law called 7 times in one day. I didn’t answer because calls with her typically ended up as long 6-hour therapy sessions about her narcissistic husband or her childhood. I had a similar friend who kept trying to convert me to her religion and got into conspiracy theories. I had to phase them both out of my life.
I learned to 'n t fear the phone at work because I worked in a call centre and then in retail. I still feel like a call on my cell phone is a personal attack tho. I never answer my phone. In fact my phone is always on silent unless I'm expecting an important call.
@@d.r429 I kind of get annoyed when family/friends want to talk on the phone . The thought of talking on the phone for hours is exhausting. Even texting sometimes Is exhausting. I feel bad but mostly I just ignore. But I don’t do that to my mom. If I don’t text her back within 3 mins she’s calling.
Its really OK with me if I call the interaction. If I do, rest assured, Im prepared and in no way unwilling to be present at the interaction. I dont like surprises and get a lot of satisfaction out of the PLANNING stage of interaction, or travel even. I like to know where I am stopping for overnights and dont like flying by the seat of my pants doing anything. Thats my motivation. Its taken me a long time to understand this about myself but now that I know it life is a lot better.
Worse is that when you do talk, no one really wants to go deep into a topic. All the nuance and complexities. As if they just want to just talk and repeat the same scripts.
I thought I wasn't normal; being that I did have phone anxiety really bad. Like, why would anyone in their right mind, want to talk to a complete stranger over the phone, even if it is for pizza??? But I am getting over it slowly. I still avoid phone calls with strangers at all costs, though.
@@bodigames Can I try to give some advice? Do you mind? I think the easiest way to do it is to join classes or activities women like. Painting, singing, dancing, dog walking. Make sure it’s within your age group. It’s easier when you’re a bit older. If the girl goes to the same activity as you, then you have a lot of time to get to know her in a casual setting as friends. Women are always way more likely to accept an invitation from someone they know. Plus, if you’re a man, then you should start learning about how women actually think and feel - and don’t take advice from men - because they will give you the worlds worst advice. Except for FJ. All those other guys that tell you to play head games have no idea how women operate. There are very few women, for example, who will judge you based on what you look like or what you’ve achieved. What women want is a partner that they feel good being around. It’s really that simple. So learn to take up a hobby that will help you meet a girl whose happy and in her element when she’s doing it, and then after you get comfortable being around her, just try to have friendly conversations with her. The goal is not to ask her out. It’s just to have a successful conversation where you both leave feeling happy. Simply saying “I like your dog.” Or “your painting is really nice” - it makes a girl feel noticed for the things she likes about her life. It’s very “non-objectifying”. And if you don’t just hone in on one woman, that’s best. Try to be friendly to many women around you, just cuz. Even if you’re checking out at the supermarket, try to think of a way to give a compliment that is not too close to sensitive body parts. Like “I really like that hat you chose. You have nice taste in hats.” Offer to help an old lady carry her groceries, or open the door for an old lady. Just putting yourself in low-risk situations where you’re interacting with women will help build your confidence around them. In both skill building, and fear acclimation, the trick is baby steps. So whether you find it hard to socialize because your skills aren’t well-honed, or you’re afraid to talk to women, the process is the same. Never take advice from people that are like “dude, just get it over with”. Because that can go badly wrong and traumatize you. Instead, find the smallest baby step you can take that you feel somewhat safe doing, and just build on that like you would build on any talent or ability. Because you wouldn’t take a dog that’s not cool with water and throw them in a swimming pool. So if you wouldn’t do it to a dog people shouldn’t ask you to do it to yourself, IMO. I say all of this because I kind of have this thing about liking to help people, guys specifically, overcome their dating issues 😅 so...sorry to jump on the opportunity to talk! Hopefully I didn’t bore you to tears.
Yeah you’re way more normal than you think. Take the MBTI and HSP tests. Then research those things. You’re going to find out real fast that there are a TON of people out there just like you! Trust me. I spent most of my life thinking I must be insanely weird, only to find out - no - it’s just that people who are weird like me don’t go out in public. Lol
I, introvert, don’t like phone calls because it occupies my phone usage and personal entertainment because I have to actively listen to you talk and respond as soon as you finish talking. PLEASE text me so I can respond when I’m free 100%
I love that he tells us that introverts like to be prepared, and then he gives us a heads up about an ad, so we'll be prepared. It was nice. Usually I feel ambushed by those mid-video ads.
@@Paghmani1sher scared ? Insecure ? Nah it's more like uninterested and unflappable undeniably unstoppable untouchable uncontrollable just so damn UN....understand ? UNITED 🗽
both of my parents are extroverted, and once, when I was a kid, they forced me to make a phone call because they thought that I was just being dramatic about not wanting to call anyone like ever. I cried so much after making that phone call, it was the worst. I feel kind of comforted now, however.
@NaeNae wdym this is normal stuff, show some respect to your parents and make yourself useful they spend money on you, and you say u have anxiety bc u have to call someone, or go to the store? God damnit
@NaeNae ok sorry from the context it sounded like she’s forcing you to do stuff and you’re acting like it’s smt bad, sorry I got you wrong. It’s good to hear that you’re actually helping your parents
When he said mentally prepare ourselves before the conversation it imminently reminded me of the time I called a DMV to make an appointment and I rehersed it and even wrote down what I was going to say so I was ready and wouldn't choke😂😂😂it was so nice once the phone call was over😂😂
I thought I was the only one. I literally had to rehearse every time before making a phone call. Not so much anymore. I kinda grew out of it, but still don’t like making calls.
Watching this while staring at the notification of the missed call from my auntie and considering texting my old boss. You nailed these seven reasons actually particularly for video calls
This person accurately explained my whole existence. I thought I was the only one who doesn't like to pick a phone call instead I scream at the phone "stop ringing god damn it "
This video and comment really made me feel better about myself. I'm not so weird. I usually push people away from me. I'm lucky because when starting a new job I'm invited to lots of places which I never go to and I always end up by myself.
theddfreak Nope... not at all! Right there with you. On the flip side, what’s worse are the people who respond to emails, IM’s and texts with a phone call (cringe).
This is one of the most accurateness information videos I have EVER come across. It's almost eerie. The ones that resonate with my the most are #1, #4, #5, #6, #7.
I get so annoyed when people call me just to say something they could text me about Phone calls are only acceptable if they are quick and you really need to reach me immediately
Yes. I'd rather let it go to voicemail and deal with it later. Sometimes though, I "forget" to check voicemail and that little icon stays on my phone for weeks. Come to think of it now, why do I even have a phone? :-P
Omg such a thing. I think I only got the hang of calling service people after highschool. And I still can’t stand phone calls from people I know. It’s just asking so much. It’s like asking me to go for a jog while listening to heavy metal.
This video came at a perfect time because this morning I ignored 2 calls for job offers even tho I'm looking for a job. It's just so draining 😭😭😭😭 really well put FJ! Hopefully I can overcome this too 🤞🏻😂😂
I usually do this because most calls are just a number no company name so ignore them. More company’s need to have caller ID if I just see a bunch of numbers I assume it’s just a scam call or someone selling something
I hate it when my friends call me multiple times just “to see what I’m doing” like bro if I don’t pick up the first time I’m sure as hell not gonna pick up the tenth one either
You're definitely not. I don't mind if I get a text first asking me to call someone because then I'm prepared, but an unexpected phone call just makes me extremely anxious.
And then,... After, the phone call,..... all of the “replays” of the conversation! Why did I say that?did they mean this?... oh no! I said what?.... yep. Phone calls,... never been a fan....😂. Can’t shake the “sorry to bother you”.... combined with no visual information.... life became so much harder, when everyone, is phoning..... all ... the.... time....! Good one FJ! I’ve struggled with this one, for a very long time.
Yeah replays...after each conversation! Or before....it's taking so much thinking.....and always the good answers come to mind AFTER the conversation :(
I swear, sometimes I hallucinate the sound of my ringtone and give myself anxiety. It doesn't help that my ringtone and wake-up alarm were the same for a while. The sound of a text notification makes me nervous as well, but at least I don't have to spend a minute mentally preparing myself for a conversation. Or building up the nerve to hang up or just leaving it to ring, because I do that too. I don't feel good about it, but I do it. Gotta keep my sanity somehow.
I am getting to know an introvert right now and was confused about his "I'd rather not talk on the phone" thingy so this video helped me a lot! he is a sweet person and I don't mind him being quiet or not very talkative but this channel helps me a lot to understand him better so thank you
That's great. These videos explain us pretty well and even we often don't understand, and we feel like we're the only ones with these issues because the chance of two introverts meeting and talking about those things is like two asteroids colliding head on. You can score a ton of free points with him just by showing understanding and not treating him like a freak for it.
Yes..it is a real thing and introverts..usually very sensitive...and empaths...its not a bad thing but if you're not like this takes time to understand us. But people who have known me get to know me and this part of me very well.
im an introvert, but i know the deep down reason why i avoid talking is because i feel inferior. I dont want others to know how stupid i am. I am really boring and i dont have anything to brag about. also, apparently i dont care about other peoples problems and i dont care about discussing mine. also it is pointless because it would be useless irrelevant information.
Not wanting to brag makes you rather charming ;) and do not worry, everybody is gloriously stupid on a lot of things in life. We all are inferior and superior to everyone else at the same time. Have you ever considered because it is useless information = no value, it is a low currency and therefore easily traded/parted with? (Took me forever to figure out that one ;) small talk is sooo tiring, but also very safe, you are not 'giving away' anything valuable. So maybe that is why it is so popular? Connecting without really making contact?)
for me its more the otherway arround when i have to make a phonecall, i would spend legit hours just planning it and freaking out before even grabing my phone and dialing
True story - a very chatty acquaintance from high school calls me every once a year or so, and will talk for hours [even though I've said three or four words the whole time]...one day I just couldn't take it, and my sister was there [INTJ] and we sound alike - so I just handed her the phone and she carried on with the, "oh" "uh-huh" "really?" "oh, my" "tsk, tsk, tsk" for nearly 45 minutes more. Did I feel guilty? Nope! I lived to see another day! [thanks, Sis!]
That was fun. My mother used to hang up you know the old fone beside her in the kitchen when she baked cakes,,,sometimes she took the phone and said yessss absolutely,,,,,and her man just talked for hours and hours,,,when she was ready with the cakes and everything, se said goodbye.
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The Untethered Soul amzn.to/2TxRg6l
If you hate the phone for a different reason, share in the comments!
😜Jeez, you waste no time!
You're right and it hurts.
💘🔥💘🔥💘
: /my dad phone rings
: HEY! (calls my little brother) ANSWER THAT PHONE CALL. TELL HIM/HER DAD LEFT HIS PHONE AT HOME. CALL HIM AGAIN LATER.
“The Untethered Soul” is a beautiful book and can support introverts in doing phone calls. It helps you to get out of the repetitive thinking, which causes so much of our anxiety.
That is one of my favorite books! I think i had read it at least 3 times! 😊
Finally someone is giving me a good and logical reason for trying audible :)
person: **calls me**
me: **stares at phone until it stops**
I thought I was the only one!
Lol hehe
YUP! If I don't know why you're calling already, I'm not picking up. If I do know why you're calling, I'm still probably not picking me. Send me a damn email so I can spend two days perfecting my half sentence reply lol
@@Urza9814 me xD
YEAH
Introverts hearing phone ringing is like an incoming missile alert.
Omg so true! 🤣
That's why I never set my favourite song as my phone's ringtone.
@@Abhayabhayam same. I once put one of my favourite songs as a ringtone, and after some days I regretted it. Same goes for my alarm tone. It took a long time for me to be able to enjoy those songs without having memories of getting nervous of getting phonecalls with that music.
@@_sam_ddn So relatable 🤝
@@donaldtinney8085 to do everything else but call obv
If you want to call an introvert, book a year in advance. We need to prepare
😆😆😆😆😭😭😭 soooo true
Hahahaag
Unexpected interaction? Just no!
Amén.
And I hope you forget it by then.
When face time was invented the anxiety doubles urghhh
You would think that face time would help an introvert feel less stressed because they can actually see visual cues, but it doesn't. It's more stressful to do a face time.
It kinda helps in some ways but then it also hinders in others
My father's wife always facetime me when im high or tired or working. Zero warning. Its annoying and so stressful. I hate being seen. I dont shut my blind for nothing.
I don’t use Skype or video chat. People are always asking and I’m thinking in my head, “ummm, fuck no.” while saying out loud, “yeah, sure, I’ve, umm, gotta, ummm, just down load the app. Text me. We’ll set it up”. Then never respond the the text. Ever. Respond to others but never acknowledge the video request one.
I always immediately turn the camera off. I can see them, but they can't see me. I definitely don't have a camera. No idea where you got that from.
When you accidentally call someone and you have a mini anxiety attack
And the bastard calls you back
This made me laugh so freaking hard!
😅😅😅
I have totally done that before and about hid under my bed to avoid talking when I saw them call me back.
Oh, jeez, I’ve done that.. I hate it when that happens..
OMG I laughed so hard that my stomach ache LOL🤣🤣
I litteraly wait untill they hang up and then i send em a text apologizing for the mistaken sudden call
OmG 😱 freaking out just reading this! Like NOOOO! 😂😂😂
My friend: "Just make the call. what's the worst thing that could happen?"
Me: "They could answer!"
Haha
Not answering is even worse for me. They might call back any second. If not I have to go through the whole process of preparing myself to call them again.
you might get yelled at *emotional whiplash*
YESSS!THATS THE WORST THING EVER ISTG!🔥💀
True!🤭
No one:
Introverts by text: why did you call me?
True lol
So true lmao
100% me
I feel attacked. It's too true
Me: you called? Sorry can’t talk on the phone I’m umm at mY gRaNdMaS (actually sitting in my room, just can’t be bothered to talk to you)
me in a call:
"uhh....."
"haha....ha"
"yeah...yeah"
"umm...ok..."
suddenly went quiet*
me: "anxiety / panik attack"
Why is this me? 😔😔
I know that too well. Sometimes you say like 2 sentences in a row and sit back for a while😂
I totally do that. I call it my Autopilot Mode, and I had one friend (an INTJ) who totally picked up on that and knew almost immediately when I was kind of done and not listening anymore and would call me out on it and laugh. Lol!
Before calling me, ask yourself, "can this be texted?"...
Or emailed. Or maybe not sent at all. Because that's a whole 'nother can of worms--superfluous emails and texts!!
I can never understand how people can stay on the phone for hours.
@@V.E.R.O. me and my friend usually stay on the phone for like and hour but it’s because we like to call as we play online games together
@@whosthegarden Well that's different, you're doing something together. I probably wouldn't mind doing that.
extroverts be like: *N O*
I actually feel more comfortable just typing than talking.
For me it depends on who I'm talking to.
OMGosh same! I’ve been typing with my friend and he invited me to meet him irl and I freaked out and made an excuse not to go.
Neither for me
Same
same
We should start writing letters again. Gives me time to think what I'm going to say...
Or just text
Absolutely!💌
Yes PLEASE!! I would love this, instead of instant responses on whatsapp etc it makes my brain hurt to process and reply properly
I quit social media and decided to write the people that I love letters instead. I don’t really get letters back but it’s so much more fulfilling to send those letters than using social media
same thoughts! that would be phenomenal
Absolutely right about being "held hostage" by conversation. Eventually we learn who Holds Us hostage, and to roll the call into voicemail.
I just want to exist peacefully with as little human interaction as possible
I want this to but only when I’m at work.
🤣🤣🤣 my mom says my dad and I need our own little island and I I’ve agreed with her on that 🤣🤣
Me too.
Big Facts
Get laid.
Wait so who else watches this cuz they are introverts and its nice to see that someone out there understands .
Yea I feel like I’m always surrounded by extroverts
this is the exact reson I watch introvert videos on youtube at all
Yeah..
Uhohhotdog Gaming
I feel like I’m surrounded by people who pretend they are introverts even though they are extroverts
yes.
In person, the silence is awkward. In the phone, it's 10 times worse.
Nailed it
The phone becomes heavier. Like your body is telling you "bro you're not okay put it down now!"
Dead air. My primary reason for hating calls.
I disagree
Obviously u super insecure
I always thought if I am bothering my friends by making a phone call. But now I know that there are millions of people worldwide who can relate to me. I loved this video!
When my phone rings, I’m all, “WHAT KIND OF MONSTER AMBUSHES A PERSON AT TWO O’CLOCK ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON?” Then I remember that extroverts exist.
HAHAHAHA! good one!
A drunk person, can be extrovert or a very very veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery drunk introvert that wants to bother you (and knows it), or just an emergency, but nah, most likely a drunk person.
Haha omg this made me bust out laughing. So true though that is me right there.
YES.
So true 😆
I have major phone anxiety. For me, it's actually easier to talk in person (even though that can be awkward too).
Agreed
I really hate not having visual clues or not being prepared for what I'm going to say, if I have to receive a call I'd like to know like a week in advance to prepare myself
It’s easier for me to speak in person because awkward silences on the phone are a million times worse than in person, at least the other person can understand that I’m just trying to think of a reply or something to say and that I’ve not left the conversation, the worst thing is when there is an awkward silence and you and the other person then speak at the same time 😣
I'm so glad to know there are others out there like me. I have to build up to making a phone call. If someone calls me it's a worry.
i prefer text but still in person than on a call aha
The onde thing worse than a phonecall: the *_D O O R B E L L_*
Yes. Pure hijacking of my life and time.
True! Haha
Omg yes!! I pretend I'm not home lol
True. I done answer phonecalls if its not one of my family members and if this person calls me repeatedly then i answer cuz i know its urgent. But doorbells...... when someone rings and I live alone, I stay silent, dont move and pretend to not be home until they leave. One plus is that they cant see my windows and the light coming from inside the room, soooo hehehehehe
@@danidino1645 Definitely! I get maybe 5-15 calls a day. Never answer. I figure if it's important they'll leave a message.
The only phone call I answer or call back instantly is my mom's. She's my parent, obviously, but also because I can be honest with her (I can tell her I don't want to talk right now) and she won't be offended. Whenever I say that I don't want to talk to my friends, they either are offended or they think I'm mad at them. No, I am not mad and no, I'm not saying I don't want to talk to YOU, I just don't want to talk in general.
I can relate because in discord app my friends call me and I was watching UA-cam videos and they call me out of nowhere
Same. Exactly
Yes my mom and sister I’m good anyone else WHY???!!!!!!!!!!! 😂
My introverted self seeing all these relatable comments: *crying* I'm not alone ;_;
There's more of us than we think.
@@dianecelento4974 there's more on the internet because we don't exist irl
Can one of you tell my grandparents that it IS too much to ask that I call them once a year to congratulate them on their birthday, and that it's not just me, and that they could instantly solve that if they had the damn decency to finally get internet and an email address, or perhaps a phone with a text messenger?
I'll... I'll give you their phone number...
Ikr ;-;
Waiting months to make an important call. I hate when asked a question I can’t answer.
Introvert calling someone: please don’t answer, please don’t answer, please don’t answer, hi ! What’s up
yeeeessss
Exactly.
Oh my God!!!!you are totally saying the truth about me.Whenever I'm my mom says that call someone I'm always praying that don't answer!! don't answer!!! And when they answer I'm like :
Bitch!you dumbass why did you answer.
@@shubhashreerath9981 Same
Lol
FJ: Introverts like to be prepared...
Me: nodding vigorously
Yesssss
😂That's the only reason for me
Same :) Nodding all through this video!
You forgot to add 1 more point. "They don't like phone call because it makes them tired and loss of energy also"
I swear I feel like my life force has been sucked away
Totally agree!
The worst part about receiving calls is how the other person is just reaching into my life, intruding so blatantly and blindly on whatever I'm doing. My mental sanctuary is disrupted and shattered.
Answering-machines & voice-mail systems are a godsend to the introvert. Just leave the thing on all the time, turn the ringer off the phone so that you're not disturbed, and then just periodically check for messages. Screen them looking for important messages (there won't be that many, I guarantee it) & dump the rest. Being able to just hit 'delete' without even having to talk go the person is one of the most sublime satisfactions in the world...
Wow that was such an descriptive explaination
@@MrPGC137 That will just make things worse in the long run.
@@Opuskrokus Explanation, please..
@@MrPGC137 1. You will have the knowledge of not having answered the person hanging over you constantly.
2. If you face your fears and deal with what is hard, it _will_ get better.
The really terrible people are the ones that text and when you reply, they immediately call you. Why oh why? 🙄😂
But yes, phone calls do get easier with practice.
The worst part is you can't even air it or pretend you didn't see it. *pain.*
hoard of fandead then don’t pretend. Don’t answer either
My mom in a nutshell lol
Yes! 😭
Can you explain why it's bad because it frustrates me when I call someone and know they have the phone right next to them but don't answer. Why?
This is why introverts have other introvert friends that also don’t like talking on the phone and prefer texting.
Yeah me and my friend both talk awkwardly on phone but on text its much comfortable ❤️
Yup lol
Nah most of my friends are extroverts.
Yes true..not comfortable..
So hard to initiate a conversation when both of them are introverts, maybe thats the reason my friends arent introvert at all.
Before I talk to my friends I think of things to talk about before I see them.
Finally, someone has put into words exactly how I feel. 100% accurate.
Thats because its finally OK to say your an introvert and wear it. There are far more of us out there than anyone realizes.
I know right
Same here
Me too
same here hahah, everyday struggle as an Infj
when my phone rings i’m like “who still uses their phone as a phone??” lol
😂😂😂
Umm me:)
My parents and in-laws. If my phone rings, I mostly know it’s them for that reason! Although now I just expect bad news when they call...not an introvert thing, but a conditioned response 😕
@@katannep7798 my father is 73 and uses WhatsApp more than a teenager LOL
And now it's video chats. The phone was bad enough, but then Satan added video to the whole awful experience.
R.N.K. Alexiadis It sucks having coworkers, who you’ve never met in person. How awkward is it going to be when we actually get to go back to an office?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂 Finally someone who truly understands this painstaking experience.
😂😂 true
Strait from the pit of hell lol!
I agree... For me it's also when someone knocks on my door or rings the bell on my apartment. It gets me so really anxious.
I usually (if possible) try to not make noise so they just leave 😂 and also stay real quiet for the next 10 minutes (just in case lol)
I agree I hate the “POP IN” whether I’m busy or not I have to stop and try to entertain you,unless it’s an emergency, I don’t care if you were in the neighborhood Show some respect 😡🤬
Working in retail is so hard, I know I have to help people, I don’t have a problem with that but it’s more of talking to my coworkers that I have to make an excuse to end the conversation
For the introverts out there, isn't recording a voice message even harder than talking on the phone? I find it even more challenging.
THAT LANGUAGE TEACHER WHO ALWAYS WANTS VOICE RECORDS AND ME RECORDING LIKE 98 TIMES
Personally I prefer talking on the phone than voice recording
That's easier for me
NEVER know what to say and ending a message is puŕe agony!
I HATE VOICE MESSAGING ITS TERRIBLE!!!!!
I prefer writing. That way if I make a mistake, I can simply erase it.
Exactly. I can spend 3 hours rewriting the same email, and then look at it the next day and thank heavens I didn't send it out like that. On the phone, I have a second to think about it, and I consistently mess up every single thing I say.
yes I can agree with that
but I got a question why do you have
نون
as your profile picture?
Yup truee
Exactly!!
The best communication device of all, is the letter. Nothing has improved on the Victorian communication equipment. Pen, ink, Basildon Bond, envelopes, stamp and Pillar Boxes.
The only think I can think of worse is, someone showing up unannounced at your home😱😱😱
The one reason I like covid shut down. I don't have to invite people in.
My INTP son says the door is terrifying.
I prefer that to a phone call, I'm ok with people in person, it's that thing of not being able to see people that makes me anxious.
Just pretend not to be home.
That happened to me for an entire week, I’m a introvert to an extreme level by the way. It doesn’t help that a lot of my class mates live around where I live, so they naturally know the general vicinity or area where I live. Also sometimes I carpool with friends who live in the area so basically, classmates used to show up to my house unannounced for awhile.
you are a great example of how a infj can evolve well above the norms. Plus you are helping others! This is major points.
It is therapy for me that someone understands how hard it is to call someone.
Hitting that dial button to me takes a lot more courage than jumping out of an airplane. I've done both. Would choose the airplane every time. Not even joking.
Phone: rings
Introvert: "I feel personally attacked right now" 😆😅
Same 😂😂😂😂😂
🤦🏽♀️why a you calling ?Just text me👌🏾
Samee! I hate when the phone rings! 🤣
Imagine extroverts reading all these top comments and interprating them as exaggerated jokes when they are literally the truth
That's funny!
😄😄😄
The worst part is not being able to formulate spoken thoughts as well as written ones. I forget things when I'm on the spot.
Yes. I am a Grand Master at "What I should have said was....."
@@lesnyk255 I'm always "uuuuuhhh"ing like I have the intelligence of a fish.
@@UmatsuObossa I can barely stumble through a conversation, but once I get to speak in written form it's like Shakespeare entered the building, lmao.
I hate that.
Yep!
What about hating small talk? Phone calls tend to be long, drawn out small talk sessions. I'm trapped on a phone with nothing to do, the person on the other end has nothing interesting to say and neither do I. I cant distract myself on the internet cause I'm on my phone. Its boring, intrusive, and just the worst feeling of being trapped.
Dear Gods I hate small talk.
I *DESPISE* small talk
It's no.1 on the list of things I hate doing 😬
Haha me while on the phone….im reading or playing on game on my iPad…now if it’s a serious convo… then I don’t …then it takes me a bit to unstress after the call…
Totally nailed it with introverts worry that they are irritating others by initiating conversations. I do tend to feel I'm doing my friends and family a favor by leaving them alone.
It's a win win because they will leave you alone in return
Me Too!!!
I don't even like to order takeout by phone. Food delivery in the COVID age - Doordash, et al. YES! just fill out the menu form and click send! NO CONTACT DELIVERY! :-D
When someone calls me, the only thing I'm thinking about is how to end the converstion ._.
😂😂😂 same
Same, i even sometime pretend to have a weak signal so i can faster end the phonecall and get things done with text
Better. When someone calls me, I think of a reason NOT to answer it at the time and allow them to leave a message.
I just answer in the most boring way so they just end it
Same, just want to know the point of the call after that, it is so draining to engage in chit-chat. Such a waste of time.
Exactly! I hate phone calls. My friends think that I don't like to talk to them. I hate video calling too 😑😑😑😑
@Tatenda Dune this 👏
@Tatenda Dune i think you spoke my brain.
Me too
Right! Now they can actually see me looking bored...
Video calls worst thing everrrrrr. I throw a fit when i hear the phone ring.
I personally worry about forgetting things, so I always have to write a sort of script before hand and with more serious phone calls, I’m afraid they’ll ask something and I won’t know the answer and be stuck.
Omg, I do the exact same thing too!
@@keerahh2378 Don't worry, I do the exact same thing! That's the main reason why I stay as far away from the phone as I can, even at home.
I do that too!! I think to myself, who has to do this??? I guess I do and a few others. 😅
I always plan my calls that I have to do, write down notes about what is important and plan the words to end the calls... when somebody calls me I never pick up. I look who called and decide if or when I will call back .. my friends know that and if they have to talk to me personal, they send me a message and I can call them when I'm ready to socialize... even when my grown up kids need my help, they text me before: it's important, answer my call 😅
I really thought i was the only one
I can’t even handle when people leave voice messages. It’s been 3 days since a friend left one and I’m still preparing myself to listen to it and reply
Haha. My sister in law always leaves a message for me on my birthday. It's always the nicest thing but for some reason it makes me so nervous. It usually takes at least a day to go listen. That's so weird I do that.
i thought i was the only one. People keep judging me for it and i just cant bring myself to say "i cant deal with it"
HOLY F*CK 😳 L O L this makes me feel sooooo much more normal ! 😅 I cannot deal with spur-of-the-moment phone calls so I always send them to voicemail, and then I literally don’t have the mental energy to deal with listening to the message and calling them back, so the message stays there unlistened for days or weeks and I feel increasingly guiltier and guiltier for: 1) sending their call to VM in the first place 2) bring rude by not listening and calling them back - ie now I’m ignoring them! 🤦♀️
I want to delete VM option all together, but I do need it for my business and appointments and stuff 😑
I respond to voicemails with a text like a normal human being. "You call?"
That's me right there like your comment said. I put the voice mail thingy set at the highest number of calls I can set it to (caller might give up and hang up lol). I even tried to get the company I have the internet/phone/cable bundle with to take off the voice mail thing, but they said its easier to just leave it the way it is. Voice mail makes me nervous lol.
My wife has to notify me at least a day ahead of time of a social engagement, so I have time to psych myself up for the occasion.
@@SirenaSpades Sometimes, for really major stuff, a year is still not enough time.
i need like 2 - 3 days, but even then I'm still not ready lol
One time my friends held a surprise birthday party for me. My mom knew I hated surprises, so she warned me ahead of time.
Magic Unicorn because that's what heroes do
Sorry this made me laugh, I hope you don’t mind.
Does anyone else here despise the mere sound of a ringing phone?
Seriously, I wish I could just show this vid to everyone I know. About a dozen loved ones are furious with me about my phone idiosyncrasy. Another dozen think I'm angry with them because I don't call.
Extroverts take these things way too seriously.
Now I have soft music on my ringphone,,,,so it does not stress me so.
Why should they be forced to do things your way because it makes you feel uncomfortable? Have you considered that someone may be calling you because they want to hear your voice because a text or email is cold and distant to them?
Being an extrovert doesn’t mean you aren’t shy or worry about saying something stupid in person, it just means you gain energy around people. Just being around people is great even if you don’t speak a word just hearing what others have to say.
This video so helped me understand why I feel the way I do. I have ADHD and was convinced that was the reason I hate the phone so much. The worst of all are the damn telemarketers, I am on the do not call registry yet still receive at least 4-6 calls a day. So glad to know now why I want to unplug the landline and put cell on do not disturb all day everyday!
i find i have to keep changing the ring tone to reduce the anxiety of it ringing
@@glasscity3104 thank you, I will give it a try 👍😎
This is so accurate. Number 4 is definitely one of the reasons that phonecalls tend to make me anxious. However, it’s also true that it gets easier with practise, which I’ve honestly found to be true for most things I’ve been anxious about.
This man is talking FACTS about introverts.
straight up FACTS
yeah, i think he is an introvert too
Helps me understand my introverteee
He must be an introvert himself
@@lynisdumb I also hate phone calls😑. I only use it to meet people . I am much more comfortable in real life face to face interactions.
Iam invisible,why don't they see that?🎉
I always feel embarrassed on the phone like I’m gonna sound dumb. The worst part about phone call for me is when there’s echo and I can hear me talk 😵
The worst!!!
I hate hearing my voice on a recording because, to me, I sound terrible.
I remember having a answering machine years ago, and trying to make a message with my voice for the caller to leave a message, I tried a bunch of times and every time I played it back thought I sounded like a
complete idiot , because I would stammer and forget what I was saying or my message sounded nervous and rushed , finally I just gave up and used the default robot voice that the unit already had
Agree..I want to record my voice but end up delete it bcz I didn't want to hear..huhu weird right
@@Strdh_511 No, not weird in the slightest. I'm the same way.
The ONLY people I'm comfortable talking to over the phone are my mum and dad. Our calls last for a maximum of 18 seconds (yes I've kept track)
That's so me!
Oh damn same here
My mom only calls me to ask me when I'm coming home or scold me if I'm late
And my dad calls me if he wants me to buy something while I'm out
But i still hate those calls😂
my shortest call with my fam lasted a second. We talk fast and short 😂
Glad to see a lot of people relate! :)
"Phone rings"
Me, staring at the phone: "But... why?"
Honestly, just text me or write me an email.
Me too!
It can be hard to end the call with some people who just want to keep talking on and on. It can feel hard to just say “I have to go now bye” 😬
@Pabz 😂🤣😂🤣 I laughed so hard at this comment HAHA bc it has happened to me and in my head I'm like ok well f*ck u 2 then. So then when they eventually call me back, usually on how to fix a problem (research related, job related, need a connection, or even dating advice, etc) I say I dunno. I have to go. Buh-bye 👋 Karma baby 😎 ~ 💖 ESFJ
yeah true so i just lie that my mom wants me to come down to eat haha
I used to have that problem, but I stopped caring. I tell people when they get my number that I hate phone calls, so I don't feel bad when I've already allowed you to keep my here for half an hour to be gracious.
Sometimes I have a hard time even saying that in text. I don't want it sound like "I don't want to talk to your ass anymore. Bye."
Yeah
For me, it’s the awkwardness of not knowing what to say in certain situations and not wanting to disrupt the sanctity of the moment especially when I’m doing absolutely nothing!
Same!! I guard my quiet alone times like a hawk 😅
That me with other people just in a general face to face.
My uncle called and he says sum bout the view of a river from his yard
I'm just like: Oh? 😃What's the name of the river? (🤦🏾♀️)
Him: blah blah blah..
Me: oh okay...(😬) 😃 nice......
@@highpeacetess that’s what I was gonna’ say, I’d rather just not talk and sit in a corner in silence entertaining myself with my own thoughts 💭😅
I don't mind talking to people in person. Heck, I can even start a conversation with a total stranger. But phone calls? No, just no.
Me too, it's easy to start conversation with strangers but not with phone calls lol
Texts are clear and get to the point usually
Yeah, what is that?? I love talking to people in person.
Same here. Usually I don't answer a phone call from a stranger. Sometimes I call them back later when I am mentally prepared, sometimes I just don't.
Same here.
can't even begin to explain how true each line in this video is
Yep, accurate. I get anxious when someone calls me out of the blue, and I get anxious when I have to call someone. Relieved to know I'm not alone
If I respond to your text and you immediately call me because you know I have my phone in my hand; I'm calling the police!
Lol I just don't answer. I've told some people I am hard of hearing.
@@dianecelento4974 😂hard of hearing!
Yes. That kills me
OMG people that do that, they are mental and overstepping boundaries lol I hate that!!!
Ahahahaa!!
Text: Sorry I missed your call...
Reality : Staring at the phone while it rings and waiting for it to stop
@@anuragsosa Every time. If it's important, they'll leave a message. 😳
And then they call back
@@tojislefttoe7505 lol...right?!!
🤣🤣
@@amidthesalt that's our way of life. "if it's important they will leave a message" great minds think alike
Don’t fear it, but I can relate to the preparation, trying to rehearse the call in my head. So much energy.
Me: receives call
Me: stares at the phone
*Phone call ends*
Me : Hey, sorry, missed your call. Can't talk right now (I absolutely can) can you text me what it was?
Them : Oh, never mind, it's not important
...
S A M E why can't you just text me? Its so much EASIER
I really really really hate when this happens
You should never _ever_ give in into the phone calls. The MOMENT YOU DO, they will take that as a cue to always call 😩
@@NervousNoodles how right you are
This grinds my gears to no end… I literally wanna strangle the people who do this
Me: ignores a phone call
Also me: types lengthy emails in detail to communicate efficiently and effectively than talking verbally
Even my texts are long. :P
Again, one more thing I thought I was the only one, I write bibles in almost everything, in my comments on YT there's always 'read more' 😂
@@berchyzgb4423 Even my texts are novels! :O
My emails are short usually but that's because I'll spend two weeks editing a two sentence reply until it's perfect. Any longer than that and it just never gets sent because by the time I'm ready to hit send it's three months later and no longer relevant lol
I do this. Because if I get it right enough and clear enough, they hopefully won't be calling or texting for clarification. Again. It's worth the extra 20 minutes in the first place not to have to deal with another demand later.
For me, it is often times about ‘feeling attacked’ by a phone call. It is definitely a wrongful interpretation on my part, but a phone call gives me this feeling that the other person is demanding my time, right now, they want to be answered, right now, and they are putting their desire for instant gratification above the convenience of the recipient of the phone call.
I don't like the feeling that they have leverage over me. They have an advantage. if they ask for a favor I have no time to think about it or weigh my options. I feel like they know I don't have time so it's kind of like manipulation. I hate that feeling.
YES! very well worded explanation of how I feel oof
Yeah I feel that as well
Same istg
That's literally it though, when I emergency chat someone and they didn't reply right away, I'd call them and say, "see chat" and hit end call as soon as they accept
I broke up with a guy over this! His constant phone calls were stressing me out so badly! He just couldn't grasp that I when I was alone I truly wanted to be alone and that meant no communication at all. It doesn't help that I'm tone deaf and rely heavily on visual clues to follow a conversation
She thought I am not giving her enough attention 🙃.
My ex sister-in-law called 7 times in one day. I didn’t answer because calls with her typically ended up as long 6-hour therapy sessions about her narcissistic husband or her childhood. I had a similar friend who kept trying to convert me to her religion and got into conspiracy theories. I had to phase them both out of my life.
I’m an introvert working at a call center. I’m still trying to adapt .
I’m forced to talk to you for money, if it wasn’t for that I’d find something else.
I learned to 'n t fear the phone at work because I worked in a call centre and then in retail. I still feel like a call on my cell phone is a personal attack tho. I never answer my phone. In fact my phone is always on silent unless I'm expecting an important call.
To not fear*
@@d.r429 I kind of get annoyed when family/friends want to talk on the phone . The thought of talking on the phone for hours is exhausting. Even texting sometimes Is exhausting. I feel bad but mostly I just ignore. But I don’t do that to my mom. If I don’t text her back within 3 mins she’s calling.
I'm support engineer.
Yes, trust me.
Friend: what is one skill that you learned/improved during this pandemic
Introverted 25 year old me: answer phone/video calls....
😂😂😂👍
that's still just as valid and mandatory as other skills! keep going 💜
Every freaking time someone's ringing the bell I'm getting a heart attack !
38 year old me, still dont answer. Especially video calls.. I will NOT!
I think it can all be summed up with: 'we dont like interacting with other people' tbh...
Or, it's not so much that we don't like interacting with others, but we hate being ambushed into doing so
Its really OK with me if I call the interaction. If I do, rest assured, Im prepared and in no way unwilling to be present at the interaction. I dont like surprises and get a lot of satisfaction out of the PLANNING stage of interaction, or travel even. I like to know where I am stopping for overnights and dont like flying by the seat of my pants doing anything. Thats my motivation. Its taken me a long time to understand this about myself but now that I know it life is a lot better.
My phone always on silent 😂, finally someone else who understands.
Mine is on mute All the time! I have been paying a phone bill for 6 months and have made ZERO phone call 🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️ other than my wife once.
You forgot the akward silence and how they say “say something” when you have nothing to talk about.
True
That is the WORST part!
Worse is that when you do talk, no one really wants to go deep into a topic. All the nuance and complexities. As if they just want to just talk and repeat the same scripts.
Sooooooo True....😂😭
Same happens with me everytime...😩
Worst part !!!
I’m so happy I came across this video. I didn’t realize other people felt like I do about the phone. This makes me feel....normal 😃
I thought I wasn't normal; being that I did have phone anxiety really bad. Like, why would anyone in their right mind, want to talk to a complete stranger over the phone, even if it is for pizza??? But I am getting over it slowly. I still avoid phone calls with strangers at all costs, though.
Try getting a girlfriend when you are introvert….
@@bodigames Can I try to give some advice? Do you mind?
I think the easiest way to do it is to join classes or activities women like. Painting, singing, dancing, dog walking. Make sure it’s within your age group. It’s easier when you’re a bit older.
If the girl goes to the same activity as you, then you have a lot of time to get to know her in a casual setting as friends.
Women are always way more likely to accept an invitation from someone they know.
Plus, if you’re a man, then you should start learning about how women actually think and feel - and don’t take advice from men - because they will give you the worlds worst advice. Except for FJ. All those other guys that tell you to play head games have no idea how women operate.
There are very few women, for example, who will judge you based on what you look like or what you’ve achieved.
What women want is a partner that they feel good being around. It’s really that simple. So learn to take up a hobby that will help you meet a girl whose happy and in her element when she’s doing it, and then after you get comfortable being around her, just try to have friendly conversations with her. The goal is not to ask her out. It’s just to have a successful conversation where you both leave feeling happy. Simply saying “I like your dog.” Or “your painting is really nice” - it makes a girl feel noticed for the things she likes about her life. It’s very “non-objectifying”.
And if you don’t just hone in on one woman, that’s best. Try to be friendly to many women around you, just cuz. Even if you’re checking out at the supermarket, try to think of a way to give a compliment that is not too close to sensitive body parts. Like “I really like that hat you chose. You have nice taste in hats.” Offer to help an old lady carry her groceries, or open the door for an old lady. Just putting yourself in low-risk situations where you’re interacting with women will help build your confidence around them.
In both skill building, and fear acclimation, the trick is baby steps. So whether you find it hard to socialize because your skills aren’t well-honed, or you’re afraid to talk to women, the process is the same.
Never take advice from people that are like “dude, just get it over with”. Because that can go badly wrong and traumatize you. Instead, find the smallest baby step you can take that you feel somewhat safe doing, and just build on that like you would build on any talent or ability. Because you wouldn’t take a dog that’s not cool with water and throw them in a swimming pool. So if you wouldn’t do it to a dog people shouldn’t ask you to do it to yourself, IMO.
I say all of this because I kind of have this thing about liking to help people, guys specifically, overcome their dating issues 😅 so...sorry to jump on the opportunity to talk! Hopefully I didn’t bore you to tears.
Yeah you’re way more normal than you think. Take the MBTI and HSP tests. Then research those things. You’re going to find out real fast that there are a TON of people out there just like you!
Trust me. I spent most of my life thinking I must be insanely weird, only to find out - no - it’s just that people who are weird like me don’t go out in public. Lol
Me too😀😀😀
I, introvert, don’t like phone calls because it occupies my phone usage and personal entertainment because I have to actively listen to you talk and respond as soon as you finish talking. PLEASE text me so I can respond when I’m free 100%
Or just so I can respond properly, not with some blshit in the spot answer.
👍
I hate drama, so I would hang up the phone. I've done it. Lost friends from their bullshit.
True. Especially the part about feeling like you're bothering people if you talk to them.
I love that he tells us that introverts like to be prepared, and then he gives us a heads up about an ad, so we'll be prepared. It was nice. Usually I feel ambushed by those mid-video ads.
Such a great take on an interesting topic. I've hated phone calls me whole life and never known why!
Yeah I had the same problem. This video solved a lot of instinctive feeling.
You are not alone
U sure u not scared n insecure but dont want to admit to it?
@@Paghmani1sher scared ? Insecure ? Nah it's more like uninterested and unflappable undeniably unstoppable untouchable uncontrollable just so damn UN....understand ?
UNITED 🗽
Me too!
"Call me." they text. And you're thinking someone must have died but when you call they just want to chat about nothing. THE WORST
both of my parents are extroverted, and once, when I was a kid, they forced me to make a phone call because they thought that I was just being dramatic about not wanting to call anyone like ever. I cried so much after making that phone call, it was the worst. I feel kind of comforted now, however.
I always cry whenever my mom forces me to make a phone call
@NaeNae wdym this is normal stuff, show some respect to your parents and make yourself useful they spend money on you, and you say u have anxiety bc u have to call someone, or go to the store? God damnit
@NaeNae ok sorry from the context it sounded like she’s forcing you to do stuff and you’re acting like it’s smt bad, sorry I got you wrong. It’s good to hear that you’re actually helping your parents
When he said mentally prepare ourselves before the conversation it imminently reminded me of the time I called a DMV to make an appointment and I rehersed it and even wrote down what I was going to say so I was ready and wouldn't choke😂😂😂it was so nice once the phone call was over😂😂
I do this for literally every phone call with a stranger.
I can imagine the immense relief you must have felt. Have gone through similar things myself!
@Autumn Semple I thought everyone does that 😲 because getting a job is important...
I thought I was the only one. I literally had to rehearse every time before making a phone call. Not so much anymore. I kinda grew out of it, but still don’t like making calls.
I did this😂😂😂
Me: having to HAVE TO call someone because of an important reason
Me: don’t pick up don’t pick up don’t pick uuuuup
That is Meee😂😂😂
Omggggggg😂😂😂
I'm so happy that I am not alone rn😂😂
Totally me 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yes !
The solution to almost everything that makes you anxious is to do it a lot. You're absolutely right FJ
Nope. Just hit ignore. They don't control when I answer the phone, I do.
@@colorsofavon934 That's the easiest, for sure 😄
Watching this while staring at the notification of the missed call from my auntie and considering texting my old boss. You nailed these seven reasons actually particularly for video calls
Frank James: "Wouldn't you rather listen to an audiobook instead of having a phone call?"
Yeah, you nailed it!
This person accurately explained my whole existence.
I thought I was the only one who doesn't like to pick a phone call instead I scream at the phone "stop ringing god damn it "
Sometimes i fell like i dont exist 🙄
This video and comment really made me feel better about myself. I'm not so weird. I usually push people away from me. I'm lucky because when starting a new job I'm invited to lots of places which I never go to and I always end up by myself.
And i thought i was the only weirdo who would reply to a phone call with text message. :(
No, you’re far from it! I even know some extroverts who are not really fans of phone calls!
No, you're not the only one who does that! Lots of people do!
NO!
You should be absolutely appreciated for it : )
You're not alone buddy, you're not alone .. :')
theddfreak Nope... not at all! Right there with you. On the flip side, what’s worse are the people who respond to emails, IM’s and texts with a phone call (cringe).
This is one of the most accurateness information videos I have EVER come across. It's almost eerie. The ones that resonate with my the most are #1, #4, #5, #6, #7.
I get so annoyed when people call me just to say something they could text me about
Phone calls are only acceptable if they are quick and you really need to reach me immediately
ABS0LUTLY!!!!
My thoughts exactly.
This channel makes me feel so understood
And here I thought I was just really wierd for really hating phone calls... So this is a thing for many people? ^^
Yes, f that technology, and I hope whoever invented it is burning in hell.
Yes. I'd rather let it go to voicemail and deal with it later. Sometimes though, I "forget" to check voicemail and that little icon stays on my phone for weeks. Come to think of it now, why do I even have a phone? :-P
we are the WEIRD ONES we hate phone calls. We are a community of weirdos.
Absolutely! My phone stays on do not disturb and then folks will get blocked if they become reckless with my boundaries 🤣
Omg such a thing. I think I only got the hang of calling service people after highschool.
And I still can’t stand phone calls from people I know. It’s just asking so much. It’s like asking me to go for a jog while listening to heavy metal.
This video came at a perfect time because this morning I ignored 2 calls for job offers even tho I'm looking for a job. It's just so draining 😭😭😭😭 really well put FJ! Hopefully I can overcome this too 🤞🏻😂😂
This is me right now. I am actually about to cancel my phone line even though I have a handful of recruiters securing jobs for me 😂😂😂😂 welp!
Haha I did the same thing recently, I mustered up enough strength to talk to one and then ghosted him
I usually do this because most calls are just a number no company name so ignore them. More company’s need to have caller ID if I just see a bunch of numbers I assume it’s just a scam call or someone selling something
Friends : 5-10 missed calls
Me : purposely ignoring the calls
Later in text : Did u called me oh sorry my phone was silent and was on charging lmao
I hate it when my friends call me multiple times just “to see what I’m doing” like bro if I don’t pick up the first time I’m sure as hell not gonna pick up the tenth one either
@@yoxi_m lol I know right?
I thought that was just me... lmao, now I see it's normal xD
Thats how we do it yep 🤣🤣🤣
Next thing you know the have passed away and it's probably one of their relatives trying to get in contact.
My family makes fun of me because I told them phone calls make me anxious. But I'm NOT THE ONLY ONE!!
You're definitely not. I don't mind if I get a text first asking me to call someone because then I'm prepared, but an unexpected phone call just makes me extremely anxious.
And then,... After, the phone call,..... all of the “replays” of the conversation! Why did I say that?did they mean this?... oh no! I said what?.... yep. Phone calls,... never been a fan....😂. Can’t shake the “sorry to bother you”.... combined with no visual information.... life became so much harder, when everyone, is phoning..... all ... the.... time....! Good one FJ! I’ve struggled with this one, for a very long time.
Yes! the replays 😩
The replays......omg the replays, and not just after phone calls.
That’s so accurate, it’s as if you had a direct connection to my own head.
Yeah replays...after each conversation! Or before....it's taking so much thinking.....and always the good answers come to mind AFTER the conversation :(
I swear, sometimes I hallucinate the sound of my ringtone and give myself anxiety. It doesn't help that my ringtone and wake-up alarm were the same for a while. The sound of a text notification makes me nervous as well, but at least I don't have to spend a minute mentally preparing myself for a conversation. Or building up the nerve to hang up or just leaving it to ring, because I do that too. I don't feel good about it, but I do it. Gotta keep my sanity somehow.
I am getting to know an introvert right now and was confused about his "I'd rather not talk on the phone" thingy so this video helped me a lot! he is a sweet person and I don't mind him being quiet or not very talkative but this channel helps me a lot to understand him better so thank you
That's great. These videos explain us pretty well and even we often don't understand, and we feel like we're the only ones with these issues because the chance of two introverts meeting and talking about those things is like two asteroids colliding head on.
You can score a ton of free points with him just by showing understanding and not treating him like a freak for it.
Yes..it is a real thing and introverts..usually very sensitive...and empaths...its not a bad thing but if you're not like this takes time to understand us. But people who have known me get to know me and this part of me very well.
And when you have to make an important phone call you spend days rehearsing how you gonna start the conversation.
I literally write out a script of what I'm going to say and read it off lmao
Yesssssssssss
And then it doesn't go anything like what you rehearsed
Its true. When that moment come , u pressing call button , the nightmare flashes through your whole body
@@d.r429 The person in the other end of the call refuses to keep to the script you wrote... 🙄
im an introvert, but i know the deep down reason why i avoid talking is because i feel inferior. I dont want others to know how stupid i am. I am really boring and i dont have anything to brag about. also, apparently i dont care about other peoples problems and i dont care about discussing mine. also it is pointless because it would be useless irrelevant information.
Not wanting to brag makes you rather charming ;) and do not worry, everybody is gloriously stupid on a lot of things in life. We all are inferior and superior to everyone else at the same time. Have you ever considered because it is useless information = no value, it is a low currency and therefore easily traded/parted with? (Took me forever to figure out that one ;) small talk is sooo tiring, but also very safe, you are not 'giving away' anything valuable. So maybe that is why it is so popular? Connecting without really making contact?)
You seem rather intelligent actually
I know that I know nothing and others don't even know that much. Socratic paradox.
@@marzhuk91 Fun place to be... I find it rather humiliating and disorienting (and oddly comforting as well).
You just described me... I understand exactly what you mean.
Yep this describes the phone anxiety thing perfectly.
*Me: Gets phonecall*
*My brain:* Emergency Meeting
😀💖💎🏆
pffffftt true
😂
Whenever someone calls me out of the blue, I always assume they’re getting murdered or someone has tragically died.
for me its more the otherway arround when i have to make a phonecall, i would spend legit hours just planning it and freaking out before even grabing my phone and dialing
True story - a very chatty acquaintance from high school calls me every once a year or so, and will talk for hours [even though I've said three or four words the whole time]...one day I just couldn't take it, and my sister was there [INTJ] and we sound alike - so I just handed her the phone and she carried on with the, "oh" "uh-huh" "really?" "oh, my" "tsk, tsk, tsk" for nearly 45 minutes more. Did I feel guilty? Nope! I lived to see another day! [thanks, Sis!]
That was fun. My mother used to hang up you know the old fone beside her in the kitchen when she baked cakes,,,sometimes she took the phone and said yessss absolutely,,,,,and her man just talked for hours and hours,,,when she was ready with the cakes and everything, se said goodbye.
U is a legend!!!!!
lols Reminds me of a scene in British sit-com One Foot in the Grave where Victor does the same thing with the annoying Mrs Warboys!
Yep, I always feel like I'm bothering people. :(
Hope your knee is better.
I feel your pain as well this sucks
Are you a time traveller?
@@bornalihajong9127 It Depends On who are ASKING this question
Have you ever hit your knee against the chair's leg with some power in it?
And Frank James is introvert and hot 😊
I always feel this way too.