7 Things You Should NEVER Say to an INFJ
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 сер 2024
- Never say these things to an INFJ.
✨Get a 30 day free trial and free audiobook from my sponsor Audible at www.audibletrial.com.FJ
Subscribe 👉 infj.me/sub
☕ If you'd like to show me some love & buy me a coffee: infj.me/coffee
Official FJ shirts, hoodies, & mugs 🙌 infj.me/store
FJ Fun Club 🎉 infj.me/fun
Instagram 😂 infj.me/IG
Facebook 🤩infj.me/FB
🙋Speak another language? Contribute subtitles: infj.me/translate
My setup 📷
DSLR Camera and Lens: Canon 6D Mark ii amzn.to/2RwOLSB
Fancier lens: 24-70mm f/2.8 USM II amzn.to/2YCyvmd
Compact Camera: Sony RX100V amzn.to/2ysRSAl
Microphone: Zoom H6 amzn.to/2PKEaiL
Camera Mic: amzn.to/38ewdeO
Light: Neewer Ring Light amzn.to/2CXSvFJ
Green Screen: Elgato Green Screen amzn.to/2CXQx8s
Podcast mic: Blue Yeti amzn.to/2q3976o
El Gato Cam Link (for live-streaming): amzn.to/2JbN8oO
If you purchase through my links, I will get a referral bonus and you will be supporting this channel.
Merchandise designed by the talented Maria Filar
UA-cam: bit.ly/2UmjvpT
Insta: / mariafilar
Website: www.mariafilar.com/
#INFJ #16Personalities #MBTI
❓What are other things that you should "never say" to an INFJ?
✨Get a 30 day free trial and free audiobook from my sponsor Audible at www.audibletrial.com/FJ
Subscribe for more 👉 infj.me/sub
Don't tell them they are being too sensitive or they will be even more sensitive and be grumpy usually
“Wow you REALLY ARE an INFJ 👀”... it’s like yes but excuse me 🤨
people always assume that we’re mistyped 🤷🏻♀️
“oh so you’re like into theories and stuff? are you a flat earther??” ppl always say this and i’ve never even brought up the flat earth theory in a real life coversation before 😂
" Just chill ! " when I have demonstrated many times that I can't, and won't. 🙃
"you always look angry"
- "I'm not, it's just my face".
Story of my life...
Ikr? And when people tell me to smile more? I smile so much to prove a point that they will get uncomfortable and feel sorry for themselves. Lol
@@dinkin_flicka14 and when they tell me "why won't you smile?" I go "I can't , it hurts my face" :D
Me too 😆
I'm not sure if that's an infj thing but yeah this happens to me ALL THE TIME.
This is so relatable, my parents and classmates always think I'm an unhappy person when it's really just my natural face
Worst thing to say to an INFJ: Omg you’re still thinking about that?!
🥺
I’m kinda guilty about this cause I pretty much hold grudges to people who done bad things to me and I can still remember what they’ve done to me.
My best friend once asked me "why are you even overthinking this?"
And I was like "have ya MET ME???" A little more respect for the supreme Goddess of the Overthinking here!"
She laughed so hard she fell off her bed.
I said something harsh to my best friend in middle school. And here we are in college, i still feel guilty about it and say sorry to her while she has no idea what happened back then.
and it saddens me like, "I thought you knew me?"
So true
“Don’t be so sensitive it’s not that deep.”
Yeah to INFJ it’s all deep.
As someone who have got INFJ almost everytime I've taken mbti test, I've understood that we infjs care for our loved ones so much that we even are brave enough to stand for them but when we need such a support, no one stands for us. Life as INFJ is very lonely and we get misunderstood and judged for everything we do.
I don’t open up to people because I don’t wanna bother people with my problem. Once my ex bestfriend told me to try to open up to her and i gradually did... Only once.... They said "The world doesn’t evolve around you". Dude I just aanted your presence that time. I'm by your side all the fucking time, throwing my works behind, making you my priority. Huh... That's how gradually I understood I was just being used/ we had trauma bond. Basically I was her therapist. She can't take a joke but I HAVE TO take a joke.
Yep spot on
Wud’nt wanna b a different type tho wud we?
Omg 😱 that’s was me 😢
This one is so true
I feel like INFJs are both the most popular and least popular at the same time in school lol
It depends if they are INFJ -A (advocate assertive) or INFJ-T ( advocate turbulent). Assertive tend to deal with the spot light better. Turbulent tend to be more engrossed with their smaller group generally encompassed with their art. Being an INFJ-T I definitely fit into the second.
I can't say yes and I can't say no
as an infj I can confirm (like, everyone knows my name and who I am but I also have like two close friends lol)
That will be... Yes I'm som somehow unpopular that it become popular.
That’s true
I hate when I get ignored when I try to talk about something that is bothering me or just when someone acts uninterested in general when I share something about my personal life. I never talk to them about myself again.
I feel the same way! Especially if I’m hanging out with friends and all they wanna do is talk about themselves and don’t care about anything you have to say reallyyyyy annoys me and causes me to never wanna talk about myself with that person and then they wonder why they don’t feel like know us...
Hate it when people just straight up ignore me when I tell 'em whats bothering me
@@Karina-jb4sc oof I feel youuuu
@@doubleu1446 honestly.
I've heard so much lately from both sides , the person overwhelmed by someone's problems and needs a health break and the person feeling uncared for or unheard. Only human and only so much energy these days. I listen to Jackson Browne These Days. Life is hard but also worth living. It's o.k to say. I don't feel heard please listen is this a good time to talk. Someone will be there at some point. Have patience but squeak your wheel if you so choose.
“I don’t think I know who you really are”
Neither do I.
You INFJ's are so pure and precious. Literal gold in my opinion. Never stop being kind my loves. You all have my heart. Even tho we might seem a bit insensitive and heartless at times just know we INTJ's appreciate you ❤
A compliment like that from an INTJ ❤ You just made my weekend. Live long and prosper, friend.
Aww no probs haha I would love to have a close and real infj friend instead.
I hate being an INFJ, I envy 'T' types
Darkspice
Your are too kind 😊
Thank you!
i really hate being told i'm selfish when i'm always considering other people's opinions, likes and dislikes lol
I try to tell people I need alone time. It can be very hard for people to understand.
I am sorry they tell you are selfish.
Whenever I hear that nowadays, I take it as a compliment.
Always helps/do your part and takes other people's needs in consideration.
That one time you don't do it: "You are so selfish".
Still hard to deal with that instant guilt tho.
Being told I'm selfish worries the fuck out of me cos I'm like 'i think about other people ALL THE TIME'
@@rosanadeoliveiramoraes5405 Ugh this is too real. And once someone says that, you end up questioning all those times you were selfless and wonder why you did any of that. I honestly feel like I clowned myself whenever someone tells me I'm selfish. Like really? What about all those other times I put your needs before mine?
The worst thing you could say to an INFJ:
“You’re too sensitive.”
Omg i agree 💯! I had someone say that to me yesterday and I lost it! Worst thing to say ever!
Is it a bad thing to say it when its true? If you cant stand that when its true it means that you cant handle critizism well and thats not a good thing
yonathan rakau exactly
@@yonathanrakau1783 i know right...
@@VeuTrox either do i eventhough im a thinker type but i suck it up, harsh life has led me to get used by things like this somethimes you need to be forced of something you dont like in order to be stronger its not just an oppinion its a fact, and i dont think people like these are INFJs many INFJs are mistyped usually INFJs love harsh truth and considering majority of INFJs are just other types obsessed of being special or just taking mbti without learning about the theory i can see all the shits happening here
It’s very hard for me to open my mouth so when I feel like people don’t care about what I say by not paying attention to the conversation, trying to stop me half way, not listening to me until I finish the sentence etc., I will just stop talking immediately and automatically shift my head to somewhere else. I’d rather talk to myself than talking to someone who doesn’t truly care about me.
Same.
I understand this completely, it's exactly how my social interactions go. I just shut up. People talk over me as I'm speaking. So I sit quietly with my own thoughts and half the time don't even pay attention to others in the room.
My first boss in programming had this problem with me. When I would have a question (I was a junior programmer, just out of a 3-month crash course on C# and having to learn JQuery on the fly on the job), he would let me ask it, but then he would think he knew where I was going before I had finished speaking and try to address my question before I had really asked it. I am grateful to him for a lot of things, so let it never be said that I thought he was a terrible boss overall, but this was a big tension point between us. Often, I wasn't thinking what he thought I was thinking and would answer a question I wasn't asking, making it even harder for me to keep my train of thought on the rails. Shoot me down after I am done speaking if you must, but at least give me the dignity of having been allowed to finish.
Same. It’s a gift and a curse.
Wow!!! Yup!
I’m an INFJ who grew up with a very critical and shaming father. He used to refer to my younger brother and I as Danny and Dora dumb shit. This has plagued me my entire life. I did very well in college and went on to obtain a Masters degree in Oceanography, but never believed I was worthy or smart enough. I am 60 years old and still hear my fathers voice in my head sometimes.
So sorry about that! Your Dad doesn't define you. Tragic he lived that way.
I feel you 😓
I am just a few years younger than you and am in the same boat.
Me too! I can totally relate. How could they have been so cruel and demeaning, I just will never understand.
Well he was a shit dad, probably pretty usuall in his generation but never the less, his hurtful words has ZERO weight for you, he was wrong and youre right.
Never tell an INFJ anything negative. Because if you do that they will remember that dreadful moment for the rest of their lives........help me
it then also gets added to the files in your head that your brain picks out at night for you to think about when you are trying to sleep 🙃
That is so true unfortunately
@@xmochilove I might have to report you for exposing my night time activities smh get out of my head
@Gary Bradburn - You stole my comment, man! ;)
Good job! :D
Or learn to deal with it :)
Let me just add:
When people lie in front of INFJs and they think they're getting away with it. NO. We know you lied. We're just not pointing it out because you've just lost any and all respect and effort from us.
Yup! That's a door slam
I wish I could like this 50 times over!
Exactly!! And I hate when you tell someone this and they respond with “you should’ve called them out on that” when it’s like, why would I? Losing my respect is enough. Why waste energy doing that ugh
@@geensjc YES! OH MY GOD! Perfectly said! Once they've crossed that line they're no longer worth the effort
Like
This is a great list for sure. I would also add: Don’t tell an INFJ that you are disappointed in them. We take all kinds of measures to prevent people from being disappointed in us. This statement would be truly hurtful to us.
Ive been in a relationship where gaslighting was used on me, and it used to work really well on my personality type until I happened across a gaslighting infographic online and realized I was a victim. I think INFJ’s are very susceptible to being told theyre wrong, theyre misremembering or missing details or their judgement isn’t solid or theyre too emotional. When I finally woke up to the gaslighting I was forced to re-learn how to trust myself, my judgement, my logic, and my thought processes.
Omgsh this almost made me cry. As an INFJ, I’ve been manipulated and gaslit by so many people. I’ve changed my behavior so many times to accommodate others, to the point that I feel I’ve lost myself. Your comment really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing.
If you are an empath, you're naturally going to draw narcissists. It's just part of the territory. Just learn to spot them better. I have decided to think of it as part of the long learning process that is life. 😕
That’s a very important point you’ve brought up.
You may find that with age and experience you will develop an uncanny gaslighting radar, so that even when you don't know for sure someone you're interacting with is a narcissist you will make a mental note when they seem manipulative. You will also likely become more assertive in saying no and feel less compelled to explain yourself to protect their feelings. Be wary, if you have dated a true narcissist it means you are likely an attractive target, with the emotional depth/intelligence they crave. Be well, sis.
@@carolyntalbot947 After 49years the "Observing and Experiencing" training programme has been overhauled to the next level of... See the "Red Flag, Acknowledge and About-Turn" protocol!
"You should be ashamed of yourself"
Infj: Dies of shame and thinking about it for the rest of their life.
Sheyna If anyone told me that EVER, they are straight getting punched in the face. JK 😅 But I would shame their ass straight to hell. Ain’t nobody gonna judge ME. PERIOD. 😆
Sheyna okay, uh, no. That’s not a permanent state. You grow out of this pretty quickly as an INFJ, so, take heart.
Me
Sad but true
Immediately triggered
I'm an infj and I don't like being blamed for something I did not do.
Most people don’t lol
I am also an INFJ and this annoys me like nothing else
Mega Man ikr it makes me lose my shit more than anything
Yes but I think that bothers most people. I mostly struggle with not getting too defensive because people will say since you are being defensive that you must be guilty. No, I'm just offended that you think I did something I didn't do lol.
Fr
For the INFJs here, I have a question about when you were a child. Did you used to get bullied in school? Also, did you always stand up for your friends when someone tried to bully them, but find that no one stood up for you when you were the one getting bullied? (And you didn't stand up for yourself either, thus taking the bully's words to heart?) Just wondering if that's a common experience we INFJs share.
I am not bullied in school. But most people do misunderstood me
As an INFJ i was never bullied but I always stood up for people who were bullied. And altho I was friendly with everyone not everyone was friendly with me, like for example some people would ignore me when i asked a question or would rather hang out with “cooler” friends. However that didnt mean they bullied me and i didnt really mind HAHAHA
Absolutely. I remember my little sisters enemies were terrified of me. I didn't know this until years later. I myself was horribly bullied. I never stuck up for myself but I doggedly defended everyone else.
I wasn’t bullied, but I was made fun in middle school. I’ve always been good at standing up for my friends, but when it comes to myself I never knew what to say to say and would just cry or embarrass myself.
I was bullied and I also defended people who were bullied, even if they weren't my friends
Practical INFJ male here. Maybe it's a result of growing up without much money, but I've always been quite practical and efficient in most things. That said, if anyone tells me I HAVE TO do something, I'm going to every length to prove I don't have to do that, no matter how practical and positive that thing might be. Anytime my supervisor tells me to do something a different way, it feels like micro-management, especially when I'm getting the desired results doing it my way. And there's no need to shame me - if I messed something up, I'm already beating myself up worse than anyone else can. Spot on, Frank.
Same. Although I'm an INFJ I'm usually quite practical. I'm also totally ok with being spontaneous, as long as it's not a matter that would actually have some sort of effect on reality. But it all absolutely has to be my way unless you can prove to me that your way is, indeed, more practical or at the very least not outright dumb. Otherwise, it will be a veeeery long discussion while I try to figure out how to explain to you how I reached the conclusion that I did 🤣
This is entire paragraph is me. Im an INFJ female. Growing up poor has made me very practical.
When someone tells me I ,have to, need to do something, it brings out the donkey in me and she is a super stubborn critter, lol
Yeah, I'm fairly practical and don't mind spontaneity - sometimes even enjoy it.
I once started a new role and my boss didn't tell me how to do it for 8 months (despite asking), so I figured it out and it was going well, my team were happy, things were running smoothly etc. Then my boss said I should be doing it another way, but after 8 months of doing it my way and it working without her input, I really didn't want to change things up.
Yes I'd say I'm practical too
“You’re so quiet”
“Speak up”
“Get involved”
“Come on, socialise”
“Consider coming out of your shell more”
“Why are you so quiet”
“You’re so fussy”
“You’re so picky”
“ Put yourself out there more”
“You need to be more confident”
“How are you going to have kids if you’re so anxious”
“Don’t be awkward”
“You’re a quiet achiever but we need to focus on your brand”
All of this, for real! As I of lately I have been getting this. Ugh.
"Speak up" is the most complicated phrase because it insinuates they care about my opinion and value my ideas but at the same time it can make me feel like my quietness isn't enough and therefore my value gets placed on my words instead of my presence
my god I relate to this so much... why do they think being quiet is wrong? extroverts want people to talk all the time and are extremely loud. small talks are so boring to me, it's not that I'm quiet but if I have nothing good to say I prefer not saying it instead of just saying "really?/yes/no/good /great/LOL" like, it doesn't add up anything and just extend the long small talk ...
My heart..
@Stxrs_Fxrever agree. esp "coming out of the shell more" like, this... is... who... I... am... though? 🤔
As an INFJ I literally panic and hate it when someone says, "Why don't you decide?" or "You make the decision." I don't want to do that. First of all I'm happier when you decide because I can adapt. Secondly I have no idea if what I decide will make you happy or make you uncomfortable lol.
i relate so much :(
No...theres no reason for me to relate to this, why do i relate so much ;-;
Spot ON! Happened tonight.
Bingo!
SAME
I cried while I was watching the last part.... I'm Japanese and INFJ, and I was really stressed in Japanese society. I think this is because Japanese culture is 'Culture of shame'. We sometimes need to think about the feeling of others too much. And I always felt guilty about something, and always thought 'I'm not enough.' Thank you for letting me realise about this idea!!!
This reminds me of 'The Chrysanthemum and the Sword', a Japanese anthropology book when it discusses the concept of 'on'. I would think the Japanese would accept this feeling since it's part of the culture but I suppose it really is hard on people no matter what.
Cheers for you. I am Taiwanese and infj. Traveling in Japan I can totally feel the micro aggression even though I don’t speak the language. Many underline rules that I don’t get since I am foreigner. Sometimes I feel bad for people who wants to have more freedom in this country. Hopefully Japanese culture will change a bit since so many foreigners move there. Good luck to you!
"You're just weird" is one thing that you shouldn't say to an INFJ. We know we process information and experiences a little differently so we already know we're "weird." Saying that to a young INFJ is pretty mean. Even adult INFJs don't like to be reminded about being different. There is simply no reason to say it unless you're trying to hurt their feelings. You shouldn't say it to anyone. Saying it to an INFJ can trigger a shame spiral because it reinforces the idea that we really don't belong anywhere. We spend our entire lives trying to exist in a world that doesn't understand us so we don't need you to share your heartless rude analysis of us. I was always the weird kid growing up and even in my 20s.
AYO why is the so real. I always try to laugh off indirect ‘insults’ or words that have a second meaning but I become quieter and become more conscious of my actions or if I’m acting too much but being called “weird” would shut me down
If an INTJ ever says, "You're weird." Its a compliment. Because everyone is boring to us, weird is new, weird is different and complex. You're different than everyone else, which is precisely why we like you guys so much. That's how I interpret "weird". To be not stale like everyone else.
Personally I embrace the weirdness. Can't weaponize what doesn't belong to you, so to speak. The only people whose opinions matter are those closest to our hearts, no matter how much value we may subconsciously place on other people's views. My response would be, "I'm weirdly unique and you're mediocre at best" 😝
Accepting your own weirdness is one thing. Others using the word to denigrate you is a different matter entirely.@@lucy9698
Tbh as an infj if anyone says I’m “weird” it’s really upsetting and offensive for some reason .. idk y I’m like this that I never fit in anywhere .. but I have come to accept that I am the way I am and it makes sense to my perception. People should really be more empathetic to saying that to anyone ❤
INFJs also can't stand seeing rudeness or oblivious people, that annoys me so much
Oh yeah, thanks for all the likes :3
Yes
yes
I’m telling you, I need an INFJ. (I’m ENFP)
Oof, I just noticed my comment sounds a bit like I'm some snob, no, I am not, just to put that out there.
Well, I hope I'm not at least.
@@daniellewalker256 hey I’m an INFJ, we can be friends :)
The worst feeling is when you don't think anyone understands you
I would try to be funny here and ask you what you mean by that.
But... you know.
👊
yeppers peppers
Especially going to school and being rly pumped about something, going into full description etc. And the teacher’s like: “👁👄👁 yeeeaaah... so red and yellow make orange”
I relate to this
I hate it when people tell me “it’s not that deep bro” constantly, especially when its important and I am trying to tell them something.
Lately, a collegue of mine told me "You don't understand me" and "You betrayed me", after I told her that I have been currently more a psychologist than a friend. I passed so many times listening to her talking about her childhood/life, giving advices, encouraging her, being honest as possible, and facilitating her socialization. I feel hurt and sad, especially misunderstood by her, who has done almost nothing for me. To be my friend, I really need a good psychological, emotional and intellectual connection.
PS : Sorry for my english, I am not an english native speaker.
Sounds like someone deserves a door slam
Im not an infj but I totaly get what you're saying
Just know that you are not alone
Those type of people are just dumb loosers, they could get better by at least trying but then decide the easy way, "this person will do it for me"
That was so harsh after you spent so much time for this person. Unfortunately some people’s are like vampires. Just taking and never giving anything back. Maybe you can see it as something where you can learn from, so that people can’t exploit you so easily in the future anymore.
Im sorry that happened to you,i have a girlfriend who is also and infj and to this day i still have to learn and take notes on how not to offend her in any way,due to her being the only infj ik which is pretty cool.Anyway i hope you are and will feeling better and please take care of yourself❤
As an INFJ, one sentence that gives me heart palpitations at work is “let me give you some feedback”. Code for “let me tell you everything that is wrong with you”
YES
My worst nightmare in a sentence.
Often I wonder if INFJ's somehow exhibit a characteristic that gives many people (usually controllers or narcs) the GO light to TELL US WHAT to THINK, and WHAT to DO, and also WHAT is WRONG with our thinking and decisions. I see this with political issues now, it appears we are not allowed to have our own ideas, opinions and actions without being belittled by people who listen to CNN all day long. Unreal. I walk away from many of these people and stick with a close friend group who are able to see what is actually happening in our world. I am a practical INFJ.
AGREED
Same
I think one of the worst things to hear as an INFJ is "you're fake" because we are so concerned with making everyone feel good and be happy that when they say that not only are they attacking your whole cognitive process but it's also like throwing it in your face that you are failing at that, you are not making people happy, they don't like you
I've found people who say that are usually projecting their fear of being genuine with others.They see you being authentic but it makes them insecure so they lash out
I can't even help it. I have different behaviours around my different social groups and whenever someone calls me fake its like I'm doing this for you and now I feel dumb af
Oof true
Eva that is so true, then joining different groups is the worst thing ever because you are a different type of person for every group & you got no idea how to act
Eva Linoj it’s called code switching
Never ask a question and then don't listen to the answer or just walk away. That kills me every time! As an INFJ, that forces me to lose respect for the person almost instantly.
My very recent ex literally said everyone of these things to me. Daily. Every single day.
I quit my 9-5 job, isolated myself from all of my friends and family, quit my side-hustle business that paid my bills, depleted my $8k savings, I started sleeping all day, started antidepressants, started therapy, quit therapy, I lost hope in every single ability, self-esteem dropped to -30, my hair started falling out, I then started forgetting/not wanting to take care of myself.
I kicked him out yesterday. I am broke af and 3 days late on my rent, a month behind on my car note, my phone is suspended, I have zero groceries, no gas money, not a single penny, not a single person I could call to talk to. I don’t start my new job for another 5 days.
And with all of this going wrong, sitting on the coldest rock bottom, this is the most peace I’ve had in 2 years.
Please be careful who you let into your heart and mind. I believe as INFJs we are quick to accept blame, believe criticisms, and we take it hard.
I hope things are going better in your life these days!
So sorry for you. I hope your live got better!
And hold on to a dream that is long dead!
if you had it before you can have it again. it's in you to build it better and bigger this time, because now you probably value it more
For me, it’s “Shut up.” People have no idea how much energy it takes for me (such as trying to gather confidence or planning what I’m about to say) when I choose to say something. When I give my input on a situation, it means that it’s important to me. When someone instantly tries to shut me down by saying that, without even trying to understand why I’m saying what I’m saying, it REALLY gets to me.
That’s why I’ll never tell a person to shut up even if it doesn’t get to them as much as me
I felt this. No one should say that to anyone.
Sammmme it really makes me boil to the core I almost punch someone
Accurate
Yeah I hear you there. But with experience in these kind of issues I find they arent worth the energy. Instantly the wall goes up and conversation ends.
When an INFJ makes the effort to tell/show you something do NOT brush them off. When we make the effort to find you and interact with you, it means we value you . You brush us off we don't value you so much any more. (edit for typo)
This is so true!
Happened to me yesterday. I was always so excited to share stuff with these people- be it new music, yt videos or anything and then they just don't pay attention or say something like "hmm yeah it's ok" or "it's fine". Needless to say, I was sick of them and am planning to block them.
It happened to me today. Wait a moment... it happens to me all the time 🥲
So true!!! I really only put a lot of effort or initiative into people I value or want to know better.
@@katien3022 me too
As an INFJ who grew up in a household where shame was used a lot, I can say I absolutely still struggle with shame a lot. If I'm shamed for something, even unintentionally, I will never do that thing again. Even if the other person isn't aware that what they said resulted in that. I realize this is my issue to overcome (rather than place blame somewhere else), but it's probably my #1, lifelong challenge.
Yes, those shame thoughts are such pests! I hope you're finding they are easier to shake off with practice. If it's any help, leaning into my faith made a night and day difference for my shame issues.
I'm an INFJ, and coincidentally, I have been through some serious trauma lately. I had severe scoliosis, and I spent many years trapped at home behind four walls because my condition was very unstable. For me, there was no hope, I became so pessimistic and self-destructive, and my INFJ personality hyped up everything. I can't describe the emotional torture I went through because of my own brain. I had surgery last year, and now, finally, things have started to settle down. I've always been told how sensitive I am. It was only last year that I found out about my MBTI, and now I realise how my personality type enhanced my sensitivity in that stressful situation. If I had known it before, maybe I would have dealt with things much better. I'm now attending therapy, and my therapist tells me how much of an ambitious personality I have. Finally, I feel at least some peace. Now I can start being healthier mentally too; I'm really trying to stabilise all these extremes of my personality. I'm so happy I found your channel; it made me laugh and helped me embrace and understand my personality.
So happy your doing fine, sorry for everything you went through, your gonna be OK 😊 God bless ❤
@@grace_evans. thanks ♥️♥️
Just know that even if not everything is ok there will always be people that will directly or indirectly support you and wish the best for you. I have an INFJ friend who also deals with scoliosis and trauma. From my experience you are not too sensitive, I think the rest of the people are too selfish to acknowledge and understand other's feelings. Have a nice day and keep going 💪💜
I am an INFJ and I had a full posterior spinal fusion at age 15. I feel your pain, literally. It's good you have a there because this is traumatic. It won't be something you just get over.
One thing to never DO to an INFJ: Choose someone else. They will be done with you. They may still love you, but they will not want you back. They do not play second best after they have revealed themselves to you, and you chose to reveal yourself to someone else. They are done.
Okay.... that really resonates with me. Ever since I learned about me being the INJF (it's 18 hours) I keep jumping from "I see people as abstract constructs" to "I see patterns and get upset over possibilities and I excit the relationship once I figured out THE PATTERN (I made about them) doesn't suit me." I felt super guilty about it. Like... I make my probles and its all in my head. But seing what you wrote... you are right!
I would forgive people everything. I don't have many close friends. If they act like they're sorry, I would forgive them everything. BUT NOT CHOSING SOMEONE ELSE OVER ME. I don't care if that person has golden genitals. Friend of 8 years decided to choose possible hookup instead of taking my side/doing what we planned for ages. I see it as betrayal. It doesn't match with my idea of how friends are supposed to treat each other.
Betray me once, shame on you.
Betray me twice, shame on me.
Betray me thrice, there's now WANTED poster of you on my wall. PATTERNS proved to be right. Dead or alive. I'm going to remove myself emotionally from this relationship and there's nothing you can do to change that.
It would be easier if we weren't roommates.
As an INFJ, this is a yes. But lately, I've been realizing this could be my negative trait too. Sometimes I overthink that someone else's actions means they choose someone else over me, instead of just take it with a grain of salt and not overreact.
I’m a INFJ-A and I’m not sure why, but I don’t feel like this. If they choose someone else, I would feel sad but like if that person can make them happier or help them achieve their goal, then I’m fine with it. I would be sad but not angry. Am I the only one?
There may have been a slight misunderstanding here. I would not be angry with them. I would simply choose not to pursue the relationship further. If there is doubt on the other person's behalf, then they were obviously not that certain about me. I'm an all or nothing sort when it comes to that sort of thing. And if the person left the other person for me, I would think s/he might always wonder what it would have been like had they chosen the other person. I don't want that for them. I want them to be certain. And if they choose the other person, I want them to be happy. But I don't want to be the third denominator in a relationship that could have been. So I save them the choice. I choose to remove myself from their uncertainty. Does that make sense?
You're right..
T types to INFJs: "You're too emotional."
Other F types to INFJs: "You're cold."
Bingo
Unfeeling and uncaring!!!! Yes I care but how is your problem my responsibility?
INFJs are not too emotional. They are usually mad and paranoid.
@@Britneyspears482 it's all about p e r c e p t I o n
Yes! All the time. It’s annoying.
Here is a big one: "You're overthinking". This drives me NUTS. I have heard this so many times. Pretty much always from guys I'm with. It's especially upsetting because it feels like a dismissive way to stop me from being myself, or stop the conversation because they are uncomfortable, but then they can blame it on me. Especially because I'm probably sharing or bringing them into something vulnerable (rare) in order to connect with them!! It's such a turn off and also feels like I'm being shamed.
My friend and I were out last week and I was really getting overstimualted socially and triggered by something happening. I was hiding it but started to tell him I was feeling off and asking him for reassurance. He said "...I think you're overthinking it" like it was all so easy to just turn off my processes.
I was going to do what I normally do (say "oh...ya, you're right, I probably am") and then fade into the background and act fine, feeling misunderstood and confused. But I tried something new and said "...I know I'm overthinking! That's the point! That's why I'm asking for help!".... then I felt bad about that and he didn't seem to know what to say and it solved nothing. It was terrible. 😂
As an INFJ it is extremely difficult for me to tell a lie.
I do not like to hurt anyone, so I may soften the truth.
But an outright lie is very hard for me and I always regret
not being 100% truthful. P.S. As hard as it is being like
we are I would never ever change who I am.
Be you, be proud and be strong. Love to you all.
I am a INTJ and feel very much the same. I am so sensitive to honestly that even speaking a foreign language makes me feel like I am lying. I feel I am not being authentic. If I were I would be speaking my native language English.
Me too.
INFJ’s are amazing thinkers and have some of the best ideas but often have trouble finding the words to say it. People also like to to talk over them and assume an INFJ’s silence equals stupidity 🙂
Putting our thoughts into words. They don’t have words for most of my thoughts.
I always want to (and often do) say, “let me just draw you a picture.”
This is 100% true
Stupidity or shyness/lack of confidence!
Don't make it an INFJ thing tho. Speaking out correctly in public to be heard is important. I wish I had learned this earlier. Keep practicing and you'll get better♡
"INFJs always just have this anxiety of, I'm missing something. There's something i'm not seeing. I don't have all the information."
That's so very true :)
And they say don't find answers !! How do we do that . There is no switch to turn that curiosity off 😣😣
So in reality we do seek information
So so true 😢
Relatable
I think this list has been put out to make you doubt yourselves. You hold onto the label of INFJ and think if this list isn't correct then I'm not an INFJ. Really!
Think about it guys and have confidence in yourself! Don't allow someone to put you in a box with false labels. This whole podcast is a complete mind Fk! You see this guy as knowledgeable because he's got a huge following do think unless I accept these traits as listed then I'm not an INFJ. And of course then there is the play on your shadow because the title is things you never day to an INFJ because they can't accept it!
It's a loose loose scenario!
Don't allow yourself to be defined by a list especially from someone who clearly has issues himself!
Do the F'ng Test!
"tell me what you're all about" Good god, man. Neither of us will live long enough to hear that story.
I was always different, but only discovered a few years ago that I am an INFJ. I was so relieved. I actually like the person I am because I am very kind, helpful, and give great advice. I always say that I’m an outgoing Introvert because I can talk to anyone; however, it can drain me if the conversation goes on too long. I then need to recharge by being alone. Overall, INFJs are good people and make great friends.
Me, an INFJ: I'm spontaneous! How dare you!
Also me: *has a Google Doc with a list of possible activities to do with friends, what to talk about, who to invite, and what movies to watch based on who's there*
I cant believe how accurate this is!
Same
I have them but never do them
Same man
That is a great idea! omg
When I announce a decision (move, divorce, whatever), and they say, “That’s so fast! Have you given this any thought?!” * yeah. For the last 3 years. I just didn’t run it by you or anyone else.
Karen Smith - Yes!
OMG so much this
Yes yes yes !!!! This !
And have thought through every possible idea/option...😬 yup!
So me, man. Overthinking and brooding until it’s all perfectly worked out......
When anyone tells me “It’s a conversation that needs to be had.” I am likely to say “No”. This is because I’ve already thought it through and made my decision based on every possible scenario and frankly I refuse to engage in an argument with anyone whose goal is simply to win at any cost.
Being an infj is extremely tough having severe anxiety. Especially being told growing up that you're inadequate or a failure.
Try meditation my friend.
Someone: *calls my name in a not so happy tone*
Me: Oh no. What did I do this time?
With the profile picture though 🥺
Wow.. literally me every day.. kinda sad actually..
Same huhu
Everytime in the office!!! Soo uncomfortable and paranoid
Me😂😂
I don’t like it when people tell me what to do.
Especially if they don't explain the rationale or, worse, say "just do it, there's no why"
Yeah, it kinda makes me want to do the opposite of what they're saying.. don't really care if it pisses them off
My husband tries to tell me how to do stuff ALL THE TIME now. Like I've never used the washing machine before... I only taught him how... but OK go ahead & tell me how to do it your way. Yep. I put the soap in & turned it on. I'm not stupid. Then proceeds to tell me how to do the next thing...
People want to know how I'm so patient. Well, I'm not after I walk away. I'm furious & just internalize it.
Yes...that doesn't work with me either.
Nobody does. X
As an INFJ myself
This video is really hurtful but at the same time brutally true.😓
I agree with this so much. I'm a manager and I love organising, improving things, discussing ideas with staff and making things better. I hate getting questioned on my final plan, especially when it's from people who haven't seen the bigger picture or who haven't bothered themselves. I've done each thing for a reason.
I also hate how I make things detailed enough to log information we need and balanced it with time we have to keep it up daily. Then someone comes in trying to add too many small details that don't matter so much. I'm like we have so much to do in so little time I need it clear, functionable and simple to keep on top of daily for the staff. Rant over but this video spot on. Going through this right now. 😫
Infj: Let’s be more spontaneous and healthy!
Other people: Hey let’s do this new unplanned thing.
Infj: *N O*
That totally sounds like my conversations with my roommate.😂
The story of my life lol
😂😂😂😂
this is making me wonder how infj and enfp get along so well lol
Litterally me
Does anyone feel like they’re going through an existential crisis all the time?
🙃🙃✊🏼
yes.
sure...
turningoutthelights 😭😭😭
Sadly.
I’m always clear with people, that if “they don’t know who I really am”, it’s because they haven’t invested in listening to what I’ve been saying about myself, over the experiences we’ve had together.
3. Kills me when someone blames me for something i never even dreamt of. Like doubting me for a theft, a lie or a conspiracy against them, of for having a lack of love, etc.
“Tell me about yourself.”
“...”
*Spontaneous combustion*
Relatable.
Agreed
Soooo true. I still have trouble answering this. Its way too broad a question. Can people just be more specific?
Yes
...y e s
Here's one never to say to an INFJ: "Don't you ever think about other people's feelings?"
So true!!!✝️😇🙌🙏🕊👑
Exactamente
@Khayyira Shafiqa igual para mí es asi
Un horror
@Karrie Dee thanks a lot! Just, thanks lol
I, throughout childhood, more or less was forced to adapt into behaviors that’s norm in other personality types. But over the course of years I realized I’m an INFJ who had to behave differently for others sake, but now as an independent adult strives to be an INTJ (because emotions usually are in the way for my internal thoughts).
My mother says she’s an infj, and she’s MORE infj than me because she’s better person than me (?), and she always tells me to be practical and the other day, she saw me crying and told me to do something, that I always say I’m overwhelmed by all the things I have to do but I do nothing because I say that I need time for myself, and she also told me to be practical and that I mustn’t cry, and I’d have time for crying in the plane we have planned...
I can’t stand how she invalidates my feelings, I have worked and still work a lot every day in order to be very respectful and do nothing that can hurt her and don’t be impulsive nor agressive. But still, she tells me I’m the bad person, because she’s the mother and I’m the teenager daughter. And when she sees me sad, she says its always because of the hormones, but in reality I’m sad because of how our relationship is worse and the things she says to me. I feel lonely. I’m always who gives advices and supports people, but I don’t feel like I have someone by my side. I have very good friends, but the only one that really gets me is myself. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t HSP (PAS in spanish) nor Infj, but those things have their pros as well. I don’t know why (well, actually, I do) I’m so pessimist and negative lately, i’m normally the happy, possitive, smiling girl...
I would say that another thing that wounds me deeply is: “You’re slacking off. You’re not trying hard enough.”, when actually I’m on my last legs and try to move mountains.
I fucking hate that. Its like, " Do you NOT SEE? wtf?" Like, what do I have to do to make you see that I am trying? Bleed from eyes? lol
I feel you...
Me rn
Definitely! Almost as bad as saying, “I don’t feel like you’re putting your heart into it.”
That is just a sociopath, trying to work you harder. Call them out on it, sociopaths melt when you explain to them that they don't have the capacity to empathize.
For me, the worst is being told "Stop overreacting" or "Stop being so sensitive" it really triggers my fight or flight lol
yeah like it hurts so bad! we just feel so much that those statements make us feel like absolutely nothing 😔
It does, because it’s literally going to be in my mind for a long time.
Oh Em Gee! Yes! Those two statements sum up my childhood! Totally misunderstood by my family.
Me too.
Yeah, my Mom told me that when I was a small child, so I now don’t show emotions.
It’s the first time I’m hearing about INFJ personality and it gave me goosebumps. All these years I have always felt different and don’t really know why and hearing these traits rings a lot of bells. I live with someone who never plans and it’s stressing me a lot, I like knowing what’s ahead so I can make plans and play a scenario in my head. I’m highly intuitive and most of the time it’s right so I am more anxious when my intuition kicks in. I always see patterns in any situation, people, places and it’s driving me nuts when I confirm that my intuition is right and I didn’t follow it. I put a lot of effort in everything I do, my husband always tells me not to sweat and it upsets me because I believe that even small things deserve more time. In my mind, I’m already making the effort so I should make it worthwhile.
It’s quite tiring, thank you for your advise about managing my thoughts and actions better.
I was an INFJ scapegoat for a verbally abusive narcissistic parent.
Very tough times… 😔
Me: thinks I've done something spontaneous
also me: *realizes that it was part of my 10 year plan*
HahahahahHAHAHAHHAHA
Me when I moved overseas, people thought I was out of my mind, I as well. a year later ive come to the realisqtion I've planned this since tenth grade 🤡🤡
😂😂😂 so true!
hate spontaneous...love routine
What a lovely episode of exposing us on our own
I hate it whenever people ask me why I'm shy. I just don't like to make meaningless conversation..
Can I steal this
Its like asking why is you hair brown
@@kitsune1946 Right.
@@kitsune1946 😂
That's why I looked like a trash in front of you
I have to say that the time I worked with law enforcement and prosecutors allowed me to learn how to explain my reasoning. Often I would "know" and then have to walk it back and create the explanation and justification. Over many years I now can do without a lot of stress.😊
"I don't know who you really are."
Welcome to the club. I learn something new about myself all the time, and I've already been around for a while.
Personally, I detest it when someone says “Oh, I don’t remember saying that.” What! Am I making it up? Nah. I listened to everything you told me because I care but you data dumped pertinent details of our conversation? Gah! 🙄
Same. I hate it 😤
Yup that's my husband xD And honestly me as an Enfp I forget a LOT what I exactly said so that's a common fight lol
@Jessica T. that's more of an Si thing actually
I feel like my husband has no memory at all. I discuss previous conversations with him and he never remembers anything he has said before or what he was thinking at the time. But he is istp so I'm not sure if that is the reason why.
@@mistressofstones I think that the istp don't know how to interact emotionally with others because Fe is their inferior function. The INFJs are practically the opposite of them.
INFJ: Ni dom, Fe aux, Ti tertiary function, Se inferior.
ISTP: Ti dom, Se aux, Ni tertiary function, Fe inferior.
My brother is an ISTP and I am an INFJ. We do not see the world with the same eyes.
I love being able to scroll through the comments and be able to relate to everything everyone's saying
Omfg
Same
Me too
😊
I relate to this.
Relatable. Nice to belong to a type of community and not feel so alone sometimes
Same
A lot of variation within the INFJ community. As none of those things bother me, being very self aware, empathic, analytical, and intuitive usually leads me through all those moments. And I often “play it by ear”, “wing it” and “go with the flow” because intuition leads me along while the analytical part keeps me grounded in facts and practical. We’re all different, even if we’re INFJs.
I've wondered if I am J in INFJ because I am not offended by someone "playing it by ear." My ex used to say that quite a lot and I loved it when he would tell me that I had 15 minutes to pack, then take me on a trip without telling me where we were going. That was fun! But then I thought about how I did office work, and always set up a spreadsheet with tasks listed, what date they had to be performed, and what date they were completed. Retired now, but I still love my spreadsheets for keeping track of finances and other stuff. No, I am definitely a J, though I can be spontaneous and don't have to know everything in advance, if it involves fun.
Sometimes I gotta sit back and remind myself other people don’t think like I do in moments of impatience
As an INFJ, I really need to stop saying things to myself like "I ought to be ashamed," or "I don't really know who I am." I'm always criticizing myself, and this video just made me realize why I have low self-esteem, and also taught me to be more kind to myself.
You should never say to an infj “you owe me something”. They live their life not just trying to be fair, but extremely generous to other people. When someone then has the nerve to say we owe them something, it literally sounds like an insult.
Spot on!
In my 33yrs of existence, nobody said this to me yet
That’ll put the brakes on.
That's 100% right.😂😂😂
@@ILovePlayingZeldaGamesOnSwitch You must be surrounded by some really humble people. I heard it a lot in my 18 years of life.😂😂😂
As an INFJ I hate when people say:
'let's have a chat...'
me 'sure!'
Inside: OOFT Somethingbadiscoming somethingbadiscoming heckheckheckheck they hate me I said something that offended them, I am going to get fired, someone is dying.
YES YES YES!!!! Or “Give me a call, I have something to tell you.”
I hate that, why don't people just send a really short text or short email? My exwife used to send me this massive emails that I'd just reply " I didn't read it but can you make it shorter and to the point please?"
Yesss like, " I have to talk to you."
Me: " Uh oh, what now?"
Oh yes. I felt that.
Ya, I can relate
We are not fake! We are on The Quest of a lifetime to discover the TRUTH! 😕 It's a Quest d-mn it! This is heart wrenching.💔 People are fools.
“Our identity is something that doesn’t often concern us” - well pointed out. So when people say they don’t know us, in part they are referring to this. But sometimes it is rude in the sense it can come across as if we’re hiding something or fake or something.
*Why do you think that’s a good idea?*
Infj brain: *loading... please wait...*
HAHAHAHAHA 100% RELATABLE
And if its a situation where someone (ex. Your teacher)is staring at you for so long: Infj.brain.exe has stopped working.
Takes me long enough to decide in the first place, this only makes me question the entire thought process that led to the decision...
@@raininess right
haha i do that
I REALLY don't like when people question my motives or character.
But you're up to something...
j/k laugh it's Friday.
That is totally me as well. I hate being accused of something unfounded, or having my loved ones accused.
Questions aren’t always accusations though. Sometimes maybe just learn to communicate?
@@nadinegomez8858 questions are no bad thing. If someone does question someone or something there is not alwas an "?" at the end of the sentence. It is often an "!" at the end of an assumption.
This assumption can be really mean. An assumption is not in every case the truth. People should be carefull in the way they open up with their guessing. Often there are misinterpretations the problem.
This can happen to anyone. INFJ do have a high risk of misinterpretations because of the intuitive jugement.
So me personal and every other INFJ has done this in his live.
I think this should be considered, while getting mad about being questioned. ;)
Ikrrrr i just wanna scream "none of ur buisness " But il just laugh and act like a lamba Girl
INFJ married to an INFJ here, amazed at what a spectrum this type can be. Thank you, Frank for all you share on your channel.
My daughter is an INTJ!!!!
And has been telling me since she was 14 months old how to do something!!!!
I fought her for decades.
And now I am in my 60’s finally genuinely learning how to be less sensitive more open and realistic!
We now get on!
So what my weak points are ( need a Week to write that out), main one is awareness of what frequent criticism’s do to my energy!
We expend much on those in our Focus. When not appreciated it zaps desire to go on doing that.
Lack consistency ( over long haul).
What never to say to INFJ
Just talk none stop and tell you to re-frame the 10 words you said in 2 hours.
Tell you,
“ your’e full of self pity .! I have no time for that”
Never tell us you are a friend when really you are an acquaintance who cant be bothered getting to know us-
I have the opposite problem as yours - I'm INTJ and my husband is INFJ. We've been together over 30 years. For most of those years I tried to tell him how to do things "the right way" or question his way of doing things. Naturally he didn't take that very well. I still feel uncomfortable when he does certain things a certain way but I (mostly) keep it to myself. I remind myself that he's the finest person I know and to just let it go. One habit we have had for all the years we've been together is this: before bed we thank each other for the things we've done during the day, tell each other we love them, and tell each other to sleep well. We will never end our day on a negative note.
"We need to talk."
I hear that and instantly try to come up with the worst possible reason why that was said.
Nope, that's a whole lot of nope. Especially if the talking is not going to happen right f*cking now.
Or “I have something to tell you” that’s another one that will trigger every worst scenario possible
OMG YES
Yes! I was going to write this one too but distracted myself, haha! I feel like I was summoned to the principal's office and do as you do, think of all the worst case scenarios.
Exactly! My boss emailed me one time with "We need to have a meeting." Absolutely nothing else. Just gave me the time. I immediately go through all the scenarios and I land on: "I'm getting fired." Goes to meeting, boss says, "I just wanted to thank you (and explains why)" I, then think, why didn't you say that in the email.
Im INFJ AND CAN'T STAND WHEN PEOPLE TALK IN CIRCLES GET TO THE POINT IM HERE TO LEARN SOMETHING ! TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE😥
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yeah. It pisses me off when people take half an hour to present information that I could have read in a couple minutes. Like videos that are a list of things, dude just give me the list.
*me in my head* HURRY UP WERE ALL GONNA DIE
@@danielleneville3725 It took me 13 minutes just to get through this list! I get it. Next point please... lol
Damn. My mom is INFJ and my father and I are INTPs, you can imagine how terrible discussions go in our house.
RE: number 5, Do this a different way. I LOVE learning new things, as long as they're grounded in truth. If you have a way to work smarter, not harder, I'm happy to hear it! BUT ... if your method is more difficult, etc. and does not produce adequate results, then I'm going to feel that I wasted my time. And then I'm (probably) out the door.
RE: number 6, Don't sweat the small stuff. It's ALL small stuff. We INFJs see the "butterfly effect," how 1 detail will have effects down the road. How 1 missed stitch when knitting will lead to a hole in the fabric. We are not happy-go-lucky folks. We do out best to learn from our errors and oversights. Misspellings, incorrect grammar ... daily errors ... jump out at us. They disrupt the pattern, and we LOVE patterns!
Very good video, Frank! Thanks! I'm finding the truth in it 3 years after you posted it.
Don’t ever EVER tell an INFJ that they “live in the real world” I mean, c’mon! What a horrible thing to say to someone!
I hate when someone says "you overthink things, or think too deeply about things, or get over it, or you're too deep or too serious, or you over react"
I hate when someone tells me that my feelings or the way I think or feel is wrong and not normal...!
I hate when people tell me who i am and how i act and think. They are always wrong.
Next person that tells me to get out of my head im gonna lose it
@@Picca65 I'm an INTP but that's extremely relatable
I'm the same but at the same time I hate this about myself.
As an INFJ-T I absolutely hate when someone tells be I’m lazy or I’m being lazy. It has to do with not liking being told what to do but I don’t like when people assume I haven’t been working on things I’m just in my head figuring things out. Calm down.
YES!! I'm an INFJ-T also and I absolutely hate that too.
Feel u
Same, I feel your pain
This is accurate, I like to figure things out in my head 1st, process them and then choose the best solution.
Oh mah gwad me too!! It pisses me off! I like doing things on my own time its done better that way. If I don't feel like it, I WON'T do it.
I was smiling the whole video. So true ☺️ About the small stuff: I have a special list for details I need to remember and do something with 'later'. Helps me to stick to the plan..
"Why do you think that's a good idea?" I don't think it is, I feel like it is, and that's enough for me.
The most sad thing for me as an INFJ is that when I am talking about things I valued and sharing my findings with other people, especially with my friends, and they're like, "okay, good and have you guys heard about this story..." and start a whole new conversation about things that just don't really matter that much to me and I lost all my interest in participating in that conversation. For me, it is just the saddest moment as an INFJ and it happens many times in my life. And now I don't bother to share my real thoughts to people I don't really trust and earning my trust is really hard, if you do something wrong, I will just kick you out of my world in my mind.
Aww, that's literally the worst! 😭😩 And of course the classic infj door slam at the end 🤩
🤓 why do i see myself here .... Theres literally no one, not a single soul who understands me.... The fact that a person with INFJ is really hard to understand is so frkkin unique like we understand people but people dont understand us... Thats just how unique we are
Yo I know that feeling, like Idk if I'm being too much but one time I realized my friends talking about menial things like their feet get hurts because they step on Lego or something and I thought to myself ohh maybe I should also share about that too. And so the next time when I tell them about how I hurt my foot while riding a motorcycle Idk i was expecting the same sympathetic reaction that I gave them. And when they didn't even felt sympathetic about it and just outright laughed at it and brushed it off to another topic. I just get so mad. Like is it wrong to expect them feeling a little bit sympathetic about me just like what I did to them? And then later on I felt guilty to feeling that way and feeling like oh god I'm such an egoist and whiny girl. Like damn!
Surface level people gonna shallow.
Consider it a vetting process.
Agreed, that just sucks
my friend : wow u look so beautiful . what skincare did u use ?
me : ahh thank you . i just-
my friend : looks uninterested
me : finish what im saying and never talk to them again
When I was at Dover there was a guy who would do that to me. He would ask me a direct question and then after 3 seconds lose interest in my answer and start looking around.
I kept talking. At first it was actual answer stuff but then it was just rambling filler. This would last a while, so I really had to tap-dance to keep talking.
When his attention swung back my way, I would end the speech with, "...and the firemen had left by then. But what was I supposed to do with all those elephants?"
I would walk away before he could ask any follow-up questions.
Every time thats why i avoid people to avoid wasting my energy on surface lvl conversations.
When people are complimenting me, I usually just ignore it because I know they are lying or didn't mean it or just making small talk. And ended it with, "Are your eyes okay?" Haha
This happens to me always..ALWAYS😑
Exactly always happen with me 😔
Jeez. IT’s makes sense. Yes. Yes. Yes. All of it. It kinda feels like we really don’t belong on this planet. Truly unique souls. Integrity seems to be extremely important.
No matter what the circumstances. If I feel it’s compromised. I’m tripping.
‘Secretly planning behind your back.’
That’s how considerate we are.
Me, slowly understanding what it means to be INFJ: oh that kinda explains why I'm NEVER missing out on reading comment sections and I'm always majorly disappointed when comments are turned off..
I thought that it was only me 😂
@@sonnhi7820 me to...
That's me lol
I won't watch videos without captions unless I'm subscribed to the channel and the post on the community board..🤦🏾♀️
I cannot like this enough.
As a 62 yr old infj, I can tell you that there is hope, because as I have gotten older, I couldn't care less if people say these things to me. I know who I am, I like who I am, and in a world that never shuts up, I experience and consider my introversion as a godsend.
Martha, I am also 62 and agree with you
amen
I look forward to being there. lol
I’m 42 and agree with this
Same for me and I am 45. As we mature, we just learn to be more appreciative and compassionate with ourselves and with others. We evolve and become more easeful.
I would like to add a sentence that you can sometimes hear from your loved ones, especially in childhood and early adolescence: "Be normal"..
“-Lets do something new.
-HOW ABOUT NO?!” 😂 💯
Also;
“Why are you staring at me?”
“Why are you angry?” (When just thinking and not even close to be angry.)
“Dont be so sensitive!”/“You are too sensitive!”
I get very offended when people question my motives. I take great pride in being a kind, thoughtful person and so that accusation is like a dagger to my heart.
This! When they accuse you of beinga nasty ugly character. Even better when it‘s your aggressive ESFP dad who has no rage control and tells you you are not normal, dumb or disabled on the regular. 🙄
I agree...I hate having to defend myself when I'm truly just being nice with nothing to gain.
@@bumbygrl I discussed this with my therapist and she said it was more than likely to be a form of transference on their part. ie they make these accusations because that's how they think within the privacy of their mind.
Still pisses me off though!
@@saranox7319 I'm sorry 💜 That sounds like a really shitty environment to be stuck in.
Duck .... OHHH yes. THIS.
This happened irl:
-Tell me what you really think, just say it!
I tell them.
-How can you think like that? It's wrong!
Me: shutting up forever.
lol, thats what happened to me last week.
OMG so true. I have a polite mask for co-workers and so when they want to be friends I panic...they don't know at home I am serious and quiet and not the forced extroverted happy person from work. So who do they really want to be friends with? If they only knew what I really thought most of the time, would they still want to be friends? And I can't stand how often people tell me that I am over-thinking or over-analyzing, sighs.But if I ever open up and they don' get me...I never open up again...usually I ghost them over time.
Just remind them that they asked, and if they’re bothered that’s their prerogative. Then, remind yourself their problems are not your problems. You’re not obligated.
My friend did this to me. We’re no longer friends🙂
My mind: Congratulations! Now you know whom to avoid the next time.
“You’re normal, just like anyone else.” Meanwhile every time I try to express myself they give me that blank, confused stare and it’s clear that nothing I said got through to them.