Hey Drinker, I know this was like almost a year ago, but your interpretation of the geniusness of The Last Jedi made watching the movie a little bit more tolerable, unlike drinking coffee and water during a hangover
Was it just me who thought it sent an odd message that Purple Hair Lady literally martyred herself in a suicide bombing, a Kamikaze attack as she flew her ship into the Imperial ship? That really felt weird to me. Just one of many things in TLJ that really didn't make a lot of sense.
This video is actually so well made that I for once bought it and started regaining my hope for Di$ney! Until the pieces fell to their obvious place and I got a painful laugh! Thanks for your epic level videos! They have so much more brains and humor than any of this dumbing down $-world and a haven for sad (dr)thinkers :)
great! now you made tlj have sence again . i was so happy thinking thAT rhian johnson is bad writter but you had explained why this rose (don't)thinko made these decissions.at least no one can explain logicly why rey is a ,,maREYsue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Your sarcasm is dry, bitter and brilliant. When, fifty years hence, students of old cinema study the Disney Failures, I hope this video is required viewing.
The whole sequel trilogy is to Star Wars what Highlander II is to Highlander. In a couple of years, it‘ll be largely treated like it just never happened except for obligatory top tier ranking mentions in explicit „biggest fails in movie history“ compilations.
The characters motivations makes sense now true, but it still doesn't make any sense how she got so far ahead of Finn to ram him from the side, or how they both not only survived such an impact, but weren't injured at all either.
I think "Fake Luke" is the most hated character in Star Wars history, and that is saying something considering the presence of Jar Jar Abrams, I mean Binks.
@@davemiller401 The worst part is it all could've been saved if he had, after Rey left, rather than trying to burn the temple had dialogue with Yoda talking about one of them having misgivings about deceiving Rey in order to get her to find her own motivation and discover the right path on her own. The other could then say, "it was the only way to not repeat the same mistakes that were made with Ben" Then, they could have had Luke *actually go* to the planet after fishing out his X-wing and having a *real* showdown with Kylo that ends in him pulling an Obi Wan at the end with the "if you strike me down..." line after having successfully provided the distraction for everyone else to get away. It would've been a great expectations subversion without taking a massive dump on the character.
Rose was not only a double agent, but the best one who ever lived. One so impossibly good at her job that she didn't settle for merely fooling the characters in the story, or *just* the audience watching the story. Not even the writers, producers, director, or even the f***ing actress playing her knew her true motive. An absolute legend in the world of secret agents.
@@captainrednek9301 I thought star wars 7 was really good and definetly better than anything from the prequels. Rogue one was also a breath of fresh air and a really good setup for Star Wars IV
It felt like the writers were trying to have Holdo teach the audience important lessons about leadership... Unfortunately these writers have no idea what leadership actually is. They think it's belittling subordinates, making snide comments and refusing to provide any clear plan. Also swanning about in an evening gown during battle.
Rian admitted her character was designed to be someone who “has real feminine energy, which is the toughest thing that Poe could come up against.". God what a stupid idea
Sounds like working for Disney - like everyone does in entertainment industry now because paying audiences increasing idiotic minds in the last two decades.
@@twotone3471 Plot twist - it's a sea bull. However, given today's Hollywood agenda, Luke drinking animal semen is considered "brave" and "progressive".
@@johnsmith4811 I don't think so, the series was clearly out to ruin the character of Luke Skywalker and in SJW logic having him drinking semen would enoble him as being gay. The current scene has him dependent of a strong female character (The Sea Cow) while being replaced by another (Rey). Luke is evil, a coward, and weak. And that was the goal of the series, not to celebrate the passing of the torch between generations of filmmakers, but to forget the past, kill it if you have to.
The instant Holdo walked on screen I knew it was down hill from there. A purple haired twitter feminist ball room dressed "Admiral" just screams competence XP
ant cow123 the most contrived and unnecessary character... it should have been Leia who sacrificed herself for the rebellion by kamikaze-ing Snoke’s ship. Would have been a very fitting end for her character as that’s what she’s always been about.
@@DoctorSess Disagree... Holdo took over Admiral Akbar's spot in the movie... it should have been Akbar that kamikaze'd Snoke's ship... just think... he patches a line through to the enemy ship... Akbar says "it's a.... it's a.... it's a..." and the First Order yells back "It's a what?!?!"... "IT'S A TRAP!!!" then Akbar slams into them at light speed!
And if you repeatedly kicked him in the balls that they would match his enormous round head. Of course, this only works if he has balls in the first place.
As my friend said before he firebombed his neighbour's house: "There is always more you can do!" I died laughing. I gotta use that in polite conversation.
It's actually the best choice of the remaining directions left to go with the story since it was so horribly mutilated. Rian Johnson missed a once in a lifetime chance to take the story to the next level. Snoke could have been Darth Plageus. Or Rey could have joined with Darth Emo. Take it somewhere new. JJ didn't have a lot to work with and as it is he had to go back and get the Emperor involved.
I watched this movie in theatres when it came out. Then a couple months later, I saw it on Netflix and thought, "oh cool, I can watch it again, but I'll just skip all the parts that i didn't like or we're bullshit." I scrolled through the entire movie without stopping, then turned off the tv and left the house.
I forgot that disturbing line: "That's how we're gonna win, not fighting what we hate, but salvaging what we love".. such as hiding in the dark like rats while evil prevail. That's how you control a population I guess, you teach them to endure the ever-growing non-sense instead of fighting it.
"Broken and defeated by the loss of his milk, Luke realizes there's nothing left to do except kill himself. It's a tragic end for a once-great man." Totally lost it at this part.
Jay Ohlrogge ikr atleast in the prequels you could connect with the characters and understand their motives and what drives them the acting was a bit iffy and sometimes the writing was really bad like episode 2 but compared to the sequels the acting and writing is fucking flawless
Yeah, but people were bitching about "raped childhood". Disney listened to that shite, and now, we got sequels. Honestly, good job, snowflakes. You deserve that embarrassment of a new trilogy or any of new Hollywood reboots sequel thingies, for that matter. P. S. It's okay to dislike the prequels, but some people gone way too far with it.
Disney: "We can't just use the plots from previously written Star Wars EU novels... that would limit our creative abilities!" Also Disney: "Reuse the plots from previously made Star Wars movies? And make them far inferior? Brilliant!"
I know the feeling, and it's actually sad that a Star Wars movie can invoke this feeling these days. Before TLJ, Ep 1 was the worst of the series for me (TFA is running out of contention since it's such a blatant copy of ANH). But even with that movie I never had this feeling. With TLJ, the longer a video is that rips this movie apart, the better. I probably watched Maulers 5 hour review more often than the movie itself. It's more interesting, entertaining and better thought out than this piece of shit movie.
Oh, I stopped watching movies a long time ago. Thx to this genius here, now I can get entertained reverse engineered and hear my rants, in quadrofonía of intelectual exhibition. Any second of them is a feast.
My first words after watching the movie.. " What the fuck?" I then promptly forgot it ever was made. Somehow my brain is making the last 3 movies into just 1 movie with all the good tidbits and even then there are huge freaking holes in it.
Gonna say it... I feel bad for that girl, she got roped into "Come do a star wars movie" then she had to say the "Saving what she loved line" and probably thought: "Well... my entire social career / movie career is over"
What people have to realize is that these people are simply doing their jobs. Just because you don’t like a character doesn’t give you the right to go personally attack the person. They didn’t create the character. Those shitty writers did. Not to mention that piece of shit director that told them how he wanted the scene to be. However, some of these internet trolls are just that. They don’t have the balls to say that in someone’s face anyway.
mattyc971 It’s not about people attacking her. People will remember the star wars character when they see her face and be disgusted by it. Therefore many other studios won’t take her because they don’t want people to be disgusted at their movie.
mattyc971 the whole “she’s being attacked” was intentionally misdirected by the media. She got quite a bit of backlash from the Chinese market, because they hated that they had to look at an “ugly” woman. The fact that she’s Vietnamese didn’t help either.
I've seen #mentoo in the article about Katy Perry pulling down the pants and underwear of one the men who worked on one of her videos in public in front of a crowd without his consent.
What is so funny about Finn knowing about the tracker is the last film established him a trooper who when not on missions was a janitor so clearly First Order just told everyone about to secret tech. I imagine the canteen staff knew where the hyperdrive generator was as well cos everyone in the First Order needed to know such important stuff. "Oi Bob, stop mashing the potatoes and give Julie from HR a hand at the hyperspace tracking device"
Ah but you are forgetting the most important part of the whole story The arc with holdo and poe teaches you to blindly follow authority as is shown throughout history to be a tried and true method of survival, but the arc with luke and rey shows you that you shouldnt follow authority even if it makes sense because you are always right. I think the important thing to take away from this gloriously subtle moral story is that you should never question your authority unless your authority is an old man and you are a young woman, truly progressive, rian johnson truly knows how to tell a story for all fans
yes. Sometimes they can in special situations like being struck by lightning or when they are very old and soaked alot of water in them.... But I'm not sure if jedi ghost thunder would be able to do it in such a way... Maybe Luke was just to high on Dinosaur Cocain Milk and it looked like it or s
Technically it's possible, but not in this scene. You'd require a door and then that door opening. Opening the door causes a draft of oxygen to a starving flame, boom. But, like I said, here there's no door, so not possible here.
I can’t believe you didn’t talk about the masterful choreography of the throne room scene, in which three men are knocked back when one is kicked, Kylo Ren sticks his lightsaber in the ground during an intense battle, people run away when they have clear shots at are heroes heads, and other incredibly skillful moves. It’s a treasure of cinema, truly.
As a 51 year old who grew up loving Star Wars and with a room full of merchandise. I can honestly say I stopped watching after force awakens. The new shite means nothing to me. The same goes for star trek. Thanks to these bastards I've saved a lot of money. No more buying merchandise for me.
Deadpan Barry , I totally agree. Star Wars ended after "Return of the Jedi" and Star Trek ended after the ST Voyager series. Everything after that was pure rubbish...............period Who the hell cares about "Dark Rey"....(what a joke).......and this totally stupid "Rosebud bitch" (what a dumbass character)
The reason Holdo didn't tell anyone her plan was because she knew Rose was a mole. It's why she didn't say anything or try to stop them when she noticed her and Finn go off on their own. Obviously a leader as intelligent and capable as her would never be fooled by such a simple plan as stealing a one of the Resistance's few remaining ships, which would likely be guarded, and flying away without any attempt at disguise or subtlety. She knew Finn was stupid enough to believe almost anything anyone told him without question, and was using him to distract Rose, the First Order spy. She couldn't tell Po her plan, because she knew he had already been compromised by Rose, and she couldn't tell the crew, because she knew Po was popular enough that someone would definitely tell him, who would then tell Rose, unknowingly leaking the plan to the First Order. You see, it was an incredible battle of wits going on right in front of us, so subtle most people never even saw it, between a fearless, intelligent Admiral using her experience and sheer charisma to take command and inspire disheartened troops in the face of hopeless odds, and a master spy who had inserted herself perfectly into the heart of the Resistance.
i read the tagline and thought, “Drinker, have you been drinking?”, but this is sheer genius. I’ve been dumping on this movie since I saw it, but now I realise the error of my ways. Thank you drinker.
I love Holdo too!!! It takes a 60 year old woman about two hours to do her hair, make-up and get dressed for the prom and she manages to do that flawlessly while guiding the fleet through crisis without a purple hair out of place. She has her priorities straight! Back when Leia was held captive on cloud city, she didn't seem concerned with changing her hair from the dinner date gone bad as she battled to save Han from the bounty hunter. She did, however, waste time changing back into pants when she could be running around the cloud city in a formal gown.Tsk tsk. Holdo could show Leia a thing or two.
the only part I actually felt emotional was where Finn was about to sacrifice himself. it would have been a perfect addition, and another challenge for Rey to overcome, but we all know how that went
Ahhh damn, is that what I've been doing wrong this entire time? I'm sober too often. I've bought into the propaganda about responsibility and it's robbed me of the ability to think for myself and more creatively. Ugh, I'm such a gullible fool.
How did we miss the moment when Rey hands Luke his male patriarchal phallic symbol, only for him to discard it as useless, then she begins to further emasculate him by being better with his phallus than he ever could be, thus proving that women would be better men than men are. So woke.
"Chrome dome" was stolen from the ninja turtles cartoon from the 80's. That's what the turtles call shredder. You know your movie sucks when you have to steal lines from the old ninja turtles cartoon.
Rian doesn't steal anything,that's called inspiration. If he watches something and thinks of things in his own head then they are his ideas. He's so creative it's unbelievable.
And Jar-Jar was a spy for Palpatine who in turn groomed the Empire for failure to make way for Snoke's empire who will surely rule the galaxy as a more powerful evil force-ghost now that he's dead behind not one, not two, but THREE planet killing space stations...at the same time. It's like poetry. It rhymes.
Vader: "The Force is strong with this one." Obi-wan: "The Force is where a Jedi gets his power." Leia in Return of the Jedi: "Luke, you have a great power." Luke in The Last Jedi: "The Force is not a power you have." (Random street-sweeper kid proceeds to call his broom like Harry Potter, but using the Force.)
@Gaz 84 I certainly understand... particularly since he sent a completely untested student to save the day, while he just BOUGHT THEM TIME until she ARRIVED. Because Luke KNEW that there was an exit blocked by boulders, that he KNEW she could move-- right? THAT'S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS!
The Force is female, don't ya know, and so Luke's cisgender self could only sustain it at a high level for so long before collapsing upon itself. Rey, on the other hand, naturally wields it with no limitations, and this doesn't make her a Mary Sue like some loser misogynists out there say!
The whole sequel trilogy and the possibility of a complete re-do is precisely the one and only thing I‘m positively hoping for regarding the future possibilities of deep fakes.
"in fact, i confidently predict that future generations will look back on this as a film that changed the Star Wars franchise forever." well . . . you're right about that. you ARE right about that.
the point at which the colour of a sun will be defracted and look like a sunset is dependant on the thickness of the atmosphere. which is why sunsets on earth even look different each day.
"Once again, her plans are foiled by the Giant Metal Testicle!" LOL GO GMT8, LOL! This is BRILLIANT and a perfect reason why she nearly sacrificed her life to stop Finn from taking out the Imp-er First Odor Mega Cannon! LOL
@@grantwilson4506 sort of. I like them but they are not so very well rounded and dialogs are not good "I truly deeply love you" and there are no scenes which lead to this kind of things. But is possible to get over it, it's true... SW new hope is pompous, big movie absolutely shaking my head how they did it. Pure cinematography...
Agreed, but what saves the prequels is that they are so incredibly comedic due to their bad execution. They have redeeming qualities. The sequels really don't.
It's funny; people called Episode 1 racist over Jar Jar Binks, but what is more offensive is how Finn was treated in Episode 8. Here's an interesting black male character that seemed to be force aware (Kylo Ren sensed it twice in TFA) and then he's reduced to comic relief and being a goofy sidekick. What?! But the Force is Female, I suppose. Can't have a strong male Jedi taking away screen time from Rey.
I think its sweet that they let Finn play big brother to the downs syndrome girl. She really needed an adventure in her sad meaningless life, and Finn sacrificed his potentially greater heroic actions that might find their way into the history books to do small acts of kindness for the mentally deficient.
He's a better character. He has an actual character arch. He's relatable. He is driving his story forward rather than being carried by the story. This series should have been about him.
"In a galaxy far, far away it really is possible to get your hair cut in a vending machine." - The line that put a mottled, coffee layer on my monitor & odd, sideways looks from work colleagues you despicable, funny git.
Actually exploding trees were claimed by Trumpo the Klown as a big reason for the California fires in addition to the people of California not "raking their forests enough". Naturally, none of this disaster had anything to do with global warming which as we all know from Donny J is a Chinese hoax anyway.
I just realised, that shot of Yoda talking with the fire background is quite literally commentary by ruin johnson. "Come and see, all to witness, I will burn star wars right to the ground using your favourite characters ~ Trekkie out".
Oh wow, I just realized something. Now that D&D have finished burning GoT to the ground, they're moving onto Star Wars. They love delivering fan service, so you know what that means? We're finally getting Darth Jar Jar in the next trilogy. You heard it here first.
"This is what happens when you work to change things, and first they think you're crazy, then they fight you, and then all of a sudden you change the world," - Elizabeth Holmes
I am suddenly intrigued by the idea of Rose Tico as a First Order mole. In seriousness, that would have been a cool reveal and explain how they are tracked through hyperspace. Honestly intrigued by seeing the veil drop on her hapless demeanor and would be fascinated to see her do some truly dark shit before finding a way to escape.
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Hey Drinker, I know this was like almost a year ago, but your interpretation of the geniusness of The Last Jedi made watching the movie a little bit more tolerable, unlike drinking coffee and water during a hangover
Was it just me who thought it sent an odd message that Purple Hair Lady literally martyred herself in a suicide bombing, a Kamikaze attack as she flew her ship into the Imperial ship? That really felt weird to me.
Just one of many things in TLJ that really didn't make a lot of sense.
"Not fighting what u hate but saving what u love"
Worst line in cinema history
This video is actually so well made that I for once bought it and started regaining my hope for Di$ney! Until the pieces fell to their obvious place and I got a painful laugh! Thanks for your epic level videos! They have so much more brains and humor than any of this dumbing down $-world and a haven for sad (dr)thinkers :)
great! now you made tlj have sence again . i was so happy thinking thAT rhian johnson is bad writter but you had explained why this rose (don't)thinko made these decissions.at least no one can explain logicly why rey is a ,,maREYsue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Minus the sarcasm, I actually see myself accepting the "Rose is a First Order Spy" idea more readily than what we actually got from the finished film.
I guess it's like accepting that Jaja Binks is actually a Sith Lord.
@@coolluckyme2007 who knows that jarjar is not rey's estranged parent?
@@dvhh yeah, she came from one of his gungan eggs.. Which he pooped out.
That's because you are still in denial
What about the stupid purple hair lady? :p
When jokes are more thought out than the actual movie
Spot on...👌
The PC crowd doesnt suspect a thing
@@stevepellow8618 Haha right? ^
There are some movies that are only good for being a material for channel like this or Red Letter Media. This is one of them.
shurik121 It’s like this movie was designed to be roasted on channels like this and Redletter Media.
This Rose is a double agent theory is actually pretty good.
Now I’m just sad that she wasn’t a double agent
Honestly would’ve made me actually like her a bit
And also too cleverly written of an idea to actually be true.
@@CloakofAuron well she could’ve been a twist villain. Disney has a real knack for having those
It really does lol
Your sarcasm is dry, bitter and brilliant.
When, fifty years hence, students of old cinema study the Disney Failures, I hope this video is required viewing.
I think the history books will be missing a few years.
I'm the 69th like. Remember me when you get to the op.
The whole sequel trilogy is to Star Wars what Highlander II is to Highlander. In a couple of years, it‘ll be largely treated like it just never happened except for obligatory top tier ranking mentions in explicit „biggest fails in movie history“ compilations.
Lol
I wouldn't say it's dry and bitter; it's more malty, like fermented blue milk.
The Rose Tico character finally makes sense. Thanks Critical Drinker.
mickie g Vending machine haircut.
mickie g it’s pretty legit fan theory
The characters motivations makes sense now true, but it still doesn't make any sense how she got so far ahead of Finn to ram him from the side, or how they both not only survived such an impact, but weren't injured at all either.
love his theory. never crossed my mind. would actually make her a decent character lol
The Critical Drinker is proof that these kind of movies are better with alcohol.
If Rian Johnson ever sees this video, he's gonna hit the like button and think to himself "Finally, someone who respects me!"
Hahahahaahaaaaaaa!!!! Yeah!
**Ruin Johnson*
If he's not too busy with that compass self-portrait...
Agreed!! Lol
He’d be pissed because this is a subversion of his subversion.
Jar Jar Binks: “Messa most hated character in Star Wars history!”
Rose: “Hold my beer”
I think "Fake Luke" is the most hated character in Star Wars history, and that is saying something considering the presence of Jar Jar Abrams, I mean Binks.
*hold my blue milk*
@@davemiller401 The worst part is it all could've been saved if he had, after Rey left, rather than trying to burn the temple had dialogue with Yoda talking about one of them having misgivings about deceiving Rey in order to get her to find her own motivation and discover the right path on her own. The other could then say, "it was the only way to not repeat the same mistakes that were made with Ben"
Then, they could have had Luke *actually go* to the planet after fishing out his X-wing and having a *real* showdown with Kylo that ends in him pulling an Obi Wan at the end with the "if you strike me down..." line after having successfully provided the distraction for everyone else to get away.
It would've been a great expectations subversion without taking a massive dump on the character.
And purple haired lesbian
Dave Miller Mark Hamill referred to him as Jake Skywalker.
Rose was not only a double agent, but the best one who ever lived. One so impossibly good at her job that she didn't settle for merely fooling the characters in the story, or *just* the audience watching the story. Not even the writers, producers, director, or even the f***ing actress playing her knew her true motive. An absolute legend in the world of secret agents.
The best thing about the Di$ney Star Wars movies are the videos people make tearing them apart.
The videos bring back some sanity
There is no Disney Star Wars. The movies are made by Lucasfilm, not Disney.
@@captainrednek9301 not the same Lucas film that made good movies
Agreed
@@captainrednek9301 I thought star wars 7 was really good and definetly better than anything from the prequels. Rogue one was also a breath of fresh air and a really good setup for Star Wars IV
I truly admire your sarcasm! Deeper than the vaccum of space
Or than the script for this movie.
This analysis is META AF.
Makes sense
I thought vaccum is what you get when you have sex in space.
The Black Hole of sarcasm....
It felt like the writers were trying to have Holdo teach the audience important lessons about leadership... Unfortunately these writers have no idea what leadership actually is. They think it's belittling subordinates, making snide comments and refusing to provide any clear plan. Also swanning about in an evening gown during battle.
Rian admitted her character was designed to be someone who “has real feminine energy, which is the toughest thing that Poe could come up against.". God what a stupid idea
@@Mistashiba That admission is an obvious lie, because it implies Ray-Ann designed anything or had any plan beyond subverting expectations.
its funny because its exactly what I picture when I think of them creating the movie belittiling characters and they had no clear Plan 😂😂
Sounds like working for Disney - like everyone does in entertainment industry now because paying audiences increasing idiotic minds in the last two decades.
“..Broken and defeated by the loss of his milk..”
Pretty sure if the sea cow has a name, it's Mara Jade.
@@twotone3471 Plot twist - it's a sea bull. However, given today's Hollywood agenda, Luke drinking animal semen is considered "brave" and "progressive".
@@johnsmith4811 I don't think so, the series was clearly out to ruin the character of Luke Skywalker and in SJW logic having him drinking semen would enoble him as being gay. The current scene has him dependent of a strong female character (The Sea Cow) while being replaced by another (Rey). Luke is evil, a coward, and weak. And that was the goal of the series, not to celebrate the passing of the torch between generations of filmmakers, but to forget the past, kill it if you have to.
The instant Holdo walked on screen I knew it was down hill from there.
A purple haired twitter feminist ball room dressed "Admiral" just screams competence XP
ant cow123 the most contrived and unnecessary character... it should have been Leia who sacrificed herself for the rebellion by kamikaze-ing Snoke’s ship. Would have been a very fitting end for her character as that’s what she’s always been about.
@@DoctorSess Disagree... Holdo took over Admiral Akbar's spot in the movie... it should have been Akbar that kamikaze'd Snoke's ship... just think... he patches a line through to the enemy ship... Akbar says "it's a.... it's a.... it's a..." and the First Order yells back "It's a what?!?!"... "IT'S A TRAP!!!" then Akbar slams into them at light speed!
Mithrennon of Aegwynn he is my second choice for sure and I actually love your scenario hahah perfect!
@@wolfshanze5980 Ah the HISHE's take of the Last Jedi :')
Alex 2 days 2 late. And yes, that would have been top 5 of best things that ever happened.
"Is it possible to draw Rian Johnsons head using just a draftsman's compass?" A true zen statement, i have often pondered.
I lost it when I heard this line
It was very disrespectfull to joke like that to person who did nothing wrong to him.
And if you repeatedly kicked him in the balls that they would match his enormous round head. Of course, this only works if he has balls in the first place.
A Koan, indeed.
@@luk11c4 Nothing wrong? Ruin Jonson destroyed a beloved franchise in just one movie.
As my friend said before he firebombed his neighbour's house: "There is always more you can do!" I died laughing. I gotta use that in polite conversation.
Or as Theon Greyjoy said after, well, you know... "Things can ALWAYS get worse."
“Can you draw Rian Johnson’s head with nothing but a draftsman’s compass?” I spat out my tea 😂
A good engineering joke...
A more accurate likeless can be had with a potato and ink pad
Your channel is probably the only place where I will watch parts of future star wars.
That’s the most disingenuous thing I’ve ever heard.
You’ll see commercials.
I still haven't seen the sequel trilogy so I watch this and it's enough to get me by knowing how bad it is.
Brandish
You should watch the scene with the bad guys ship being cut in half in the last Jedi.
That shits pretty cool.
In fact, that's what I do - after Disney took over Star Wars, I didn't watch anything they filmed. Instead, I only watch reviews like this.
If Rose is revealed to be the Villain, that would actually be brilliant
Too brilliant for Kathleen Kennedy or Rian Johnson.
It's more like something JK Rowling would think up, like were Snape was the good guy all along.
It's actually the best choice of the remaining directions left to go with the story since it was so horribly mutilated. Rian Johnson missed a once in a lifetime chance to take the story to the next level. Snoke could have been Darth Plageus. Or Rey could have joined with Darth Emo. Take it somewhere new. JJ didn't have a lot to work with and as it is he had to go back and get the Emperor involved.
The Supreme Xtream the Asian girl spy trope.
Sadly, she will be promoted to a General in the nect pile of crap
That's why it won't happen.
I watched this movie in theatres when it came out.
Then a couple months later, I saw it on Netflix and thought, "oh cool, I can watch it again, but I'll just skip all the parts that i didn't like or we're bullshit."
I scrolled through the entire movie without stopping, then turned off the tv and left the house.
I need to do this some time
"Let's go, Chromedome!" Ca-riiinge.
Forreal. Fukin lame 90s saved by the bell slang. S’white
Teenage mutant ninja tutles cartoon from the 90s actually. They called the villain, Shredder "chrome dome" as an insult. Its worse than you think.
I forgot that disturbing line: "That's how we're gonna win, not fighting what we hate, but salvaging what we love".. such as hiding in the dark like rats while evil prevail.
That's how you control a population I guess, you teach them to endure the ever-growing non-sense instead of fighting it.
Thats how it works in China
F M
Do you live in China?
Lines such as those litter Hollywood films. They are truly insidious, and give new insights into how thier directors think.
I laughed out loud in the middle of the movie theater during that line
The world is naturally divided between those who love themselves and those who hate themselves.
"Broken and defeated by the loss of his milk,
Luke realizes there's nothing left to do except kill himself.
It's a tragic end for a once-great man."
Totally lost it at this part.
The moral of the story:
DON'T DRINK THE GREEN MILK!
It makes a lot more sense than what we're told happened
Luke didn't commit suicide he ghosted a flaming cup of puke.
This trilogy makes episodes I-III look oscar worthy by comparision!
Jay Ohlrogge ikr atleast in the prequels you could connect with the characters and understand their motives and what drives them the acting was a bit iffy and sometimes the writing was really bad like episode 2 but compared to the sequels the acting and writing is fucking flawless
But the prequels are still shite.
The prequels are bad, but they had a vision. They told a story. The acting and writing wasn’t always the best, but the narrative was coherent.
@@jb111082 Right and it gave birth to interesting side-stories too.
Yeah, but people were bitching about "raped childhood". Disney listened to that shite, and now, we got sequels. Honestly, good job, snowflakes. You deserve that embarrassment of a new trilogy or any of new Hollywood reboots sequel thingies, for that matter.
P. S. It's okay to dislike the prequels, but some people gone way too far with it.
Disney: "We can't just use the plots from previously written Star Wars EU novels... that would limit our creative abilities!"
Also Disney: "Reuse the plots from previously made Star Wars movies? And make them far inferior? Brilliant!"
What previous Star Wars movie did this piece of garbage copy? When in any other Star Wars movie was fuel ever made an important plot point?
seems sad that i was exponentially more entertained by this 10 min sarcastic review then i was by the whole bloody movie.
I know the feeling, and it's actually sad that a Star Wars movie can invoke this feeling these days. Before TLJ, Ep 1 was the worst of the series for me (TFA is running out of contention since it's such a blatant copy of ANH). But even with that movie I never had this feeling.
With TLJ, the longer a video is that rips this movie apart, the better. I probably watched Maulers 5 hour review more often than the movie itself. It's more interesting, entertaining and better thought out than this piece of shit movie.
Oh, I stopped watching movies a long time ago. Thx to this genius here, now I can get entertained reverse engineered and hear my rants, in quadrofonía of intelectual exhibition. Any second of them is a feast.
My first words after watching the movie.. " What the fuck?" I then promptly forgot it ever was made. Somehow my brain is making the last 3 movies into just 1 movie with all the good tidbits and even then there are huge freaking holes in it.
Sarcasm level: Grandmaster.
This shit is so funny, actually more entertaining than the movie...
I think you'll find most things are more entertaining than this movie.
Her being a double agent is better than all of the plot of the whole trilogy.. well done drinker, you master of all plots
Gonna say it... I feel bad for that girl, she got roped into "Come do a star wars movie" then she had to say the "Saving what she loved line" and probably thought: "Well... my entire social career / movie career is over"
Well that line was misinterpreted; what she "loved," was ONLY WOMEN making heroic sacrifices
She couldn't let Finn upstage Holdo.
What people have to realize is that these people are simply doing their jobs. Just because you don’t like a character doesn’t give you the right to go personally attack the person. They didn’t create the character. Those shitty writers did. Not to mention that piece of shit director that told them how he wanted the scene to be. However, some of these internet trolls are just that. They don’t have the balls to say that in someone’s face anyway.
mattyc971 It’s not about people attacking her. People will remember the star wars character when they see her face and be disgusted by it. Therefore many other studios won’t take her because they don’t want people to be disgusted at their movie.
mattyc971 the whole “she’s being attacked” was intentionally misdirected by the media. She got quite a bit of backlash from the Chinese market, because they hated that they had to look at an “ugly” woman. The fact that she’s Vietnamese didn’t help either.
@@mattyc971 lol you are correct in a general sense, but no one cares. Rose as a character is shit and will be known to be so.
Finn should join the me too movement after being assaulted by Tico like that.
Finn did not consent!
if it had been the other way around people would have been disgusted!
and they say women are oppressed.
Green milk alien should also join the metoo movement after Luke assaulted him...or her? It?
She didn't even ask permission!
I've seen #mentoo in the article about Katy Perry pulling down the pants and underwear of one the men who worked on one of her videos in public in front of a crowd without his consent.
What is so funny about Finn knowing about the tracker is the last film established him a trooper who when not on missions was a janitor so clearly First Order just told everyone about to secret tech. I imagine the canteen staff knew where the hyperdrive generator was as well cos everyone in the First Order needed to know such important stuff. "Oi Bob, stop mashing the potatoes and give Julie from HR a hand at the hyperspace tracking device"
"Broken and defeated by the loss of his milk.."
I lol'd
Your take on Rose is WAAAAAAAAAAY more interesting than what's in the movie
Andro Libre hope jj watch this 🤣
Ah but you are forgetting the most important part of the whole story
The arc with holdo and poe teaches you to blindly follow authority as is shown throughout history to be a tried and true method of survival, but the arc with luke and rey shows you that you shouldnt follow authority even if it makes sense because you are always right.
I think the important thing to take away from this gloriously subtle moral story is that you should never question your authority unless your authority is an old man and you are a young woman, truly progressive, rian johnson truly knows how to tell a story for all fans
Its just such a stupid fucking movie
How many times did you bust out laughing as you read your script? This is genius!
"Getting your hair cut in a vending machine." Damn. I see a profoundly viable investment opportunity right there.
If Rose was actually legit characterized this way in the film, it would make her compelling and kind of awesome.
"Why do trees explode when they burn? " LMAO
Science?
M4
Sure. When and where?
M4 you shouldn’t play with people’s emotions like that.
yes. Sometimes they can in special situations like being struck by lightning or when they are very old and soaked alot of water in them.... But I'm not sure if jedi ghost thunder would be able to do it in such a way... Maybe Luke was just to high on Dinosaur Cocain Milk and it looked like it or s
Technically it's possible, but not in this scene. You'd require a door and then that door opening. Opening the door causes a draft of oxygen to a starving flame, boom. But, like I said, here there's no door, so not possible here.
That description of captain Fasma is great. 'She is a generic character who is in the film and will say and do stuff'
I can’t believe you didn’t talk about the masterful choreography of the throne room scene, in which three men are knocked back when one is kicked, Kylo Ren sticks his lightsaber in the ground during an intense battle, people run away when they have clear shots at are heroes heads, and other incredibly skillful moves. It’s a treasure of cinema, truly.
As a 51 year old who grew up loving Star Wars and with a room full of merchandise. I can honestly say I stopped watching after force awakens. The new shite means nothing to me. The same goes for star trek. Thanks to these bastards I've saved a lot of money. No more buying merchandise for me.
In TFA the pile of SJW Feminism crap was already one mile high.
Boycotting the entire mouse since then.
I'm going to retire when my closet-full of unopened Admiral Holdo, Captain Phasma and Rose Tico action figures skyrocket in price.
Deadpan Barry
, I totally agree. Star Wars ended after "Return of the Jedi" and Star Trek ended after the ST Voyager series. Everything after that was pure rubbish...............period
Who the hell cares about "Dark Rey"....(what a joke).......and this totally stupid "Rosebud bitch" (what a dumbass character)
Good job, mate
I’m just glad that they didn’t touch Legendary’s version of Godzilla.
The genius of this series is even better than The Genius of the movie. Well done.
Well, I did learn something from this movie. An Asian woman is still higher up on the hierarchy than a black man.
Of course, she’s a whamen after all...
Lol. Tell that to Harvard admissions 😂
“My favorite character in the whole movie... admiral Holdo” 😂🤣😂
Class acting right there😂
The reason Holdo didn't tell anyone her plan was because she knew Rose was a mole. It's why she didn't say anything or try to stop them when she noticed her and Finn go off on their own. Obviously a leader as intelligent and capable as her would never be fooled by such a simple plan as stealing a one of the Resistance's few remaining ships, which would likely be guarded, and flying away without any attempt at disguise or subtlety. She knew Finn was stupid enough to believe almost anything anyone told him without question, and was using him to distract Rose, the First Order spy. She couldn't tell Po her plan, because she knew he had already been compromised by Rose, and she couldn't tell the crew, because she knew Po was popular enough that someone would definitely tell him, who would then tell Rose, unknowingly leaking the plan to the First Order.
You see, it was an incredible battle of wits going on right in front of us, so subtle most people never even saw it, between a fearless, intelligent Admiral using her experience and sheer charisma to take command and inspire disheartened troops in the face of hopeless odds, and a master spy who had inserted herself perfectly into the heart of the Resistance.
🫢
When sarcastic interpretation makes more sense than the “canon” narrative.
Oh, Critical Drinker, your genius, oh-so-sarcastic review of this film is really spot on! Don't ever change!! 👏🏼
i read the tagline and thought, “Drinker, have you been drinking?”, but this is sheer genius. I’ve been dumping on this movie since I saw it, but now I realise the error of my ways. Thank you drinker.
Poe Dameran is the audience in this movie.
Why wasn't he the main character instead of Ma-Rey Sue!
Christopher Regan Even Finn is a lot cooler as a protagonist.
Wow! Holdo is my favorite character too!
Great video, man, I couldn’t’ve put it better myself.
I love Holdo too!!! It takes a 60 year old woman about two hours to do her hair, make-up and get dressed for the prom and she manages to do that flawlessly while guiding the fleet through crisis without a purple hair out of place. She has her priorities straight! Back when Leia was held captive on cloud city, she didn't seem concerned with changing her hair from the dinner date gone bad as she battled to save Han from the bounty hunter. She did, however, waste time changing back into pants when she could be running around the cloud city in a formal gown.Tsk tsk. Holdo could show Leia a thing or two.
Please tell me it's because of the purple hair. That's what won me over. It really sets her apart from the crowd. It makes her special.
the only part I actually felt emotional was where Finn was about to sacrifice himself. it would have been a perfect addition, and another challenge for Rey to overcome, but we all know how that went
This is the most inventive thing Ive seen in a year. New subscriber.
I must have been too sober the first time I watched this video. Second time around I gained so much knowledge and undestanting. You are great man.
Ahhh damn, is that what I've been doing wrong this entire time? I'm sober too often. I've bought into the propaganda about responsibility and it's robbed me of the ability to think for myself and more creatively. Ugh, I'm such a gullible fool.
First Jar Jar Binx, now this chubby green Shrek... so many deep sith plots!
The sith have really lowered their standards in recent parsecs.
@@eternalreign2313 they went from Revan and Malak to this
This is the best thing I've seen all week.
this is the first thing iv'e enjoyed about the existence of the last jedi. thank you Drinker
How did we miss the moment when Rey hands Luke his male patriarchal phallic symbol, only for him to discard it as useless, then she begins to further emasculate him by being better with his phallus than he ever could be, thus proving that women would be better men than men are.
So woke.
Plus Luke needs the milk and fish to survive. He is reliant on a female tit and MOTHER nature!
Heh, boobs.
If I was Luke, I'd take that phallic symbol and show Rey what can really be done with The Force!
If only I got rid of my toxic racist masculinity, I could have perceived the genius of rose tico's arc when I watched the film.
The trick is, you have to aggressively pummel your own ball sack. Then, and only then, will you be ready to receive enlightenment.
I love Holdo's uniform....for a dinner party. Just thing thing you want the boss to wear in combat.
My Favorite part of the last Jedi was when the purple haired lady died, I busted out laughing 😂 in the movie 🎥 theater 🎭 🍿
"Chrome dome" was stolen from the ninja turtles cartoon from the 80's. That's what the turtles call shredder. You know your movie sucks when you have to steal lines from the old ninja turtles cartoon.
It could be an original line.
It’s still stupid and uninspired.
Rian doesn't steal anything,that's called inspiration. If he watches something and thinks of things in his own head then they are his ideas. He's so creative it's unbelievable.
Andrew Fishburn you are either Kathleen Kennedy or Rian Johnson.
@@rudyando Who's to say he isn't both?
@@martinmidgley7544 who's to say he isnt joking?
No joke that actually makes sense that Rose is a mole, as she is a spy for jar jar
Jar Jar is the key to all of this.
She dated Jar Jar briefly too
That's a love scene that would make episode 9 worth watching.
@@shack8110 If they make Jar Jar a powerful sith lord i would have a reason to watch episode 9
And Jar-Jar was a spy for Palpatine who in turn groomed the Empire for failure to make way for Snoke's empire who will surely rule the galaxy as a more powerful evil force-ghost now that he's dead behind not one, not two, but THREE planet killing space stations...at the same time. It's like poetry. It rhymes.
I keep watching this.
I think it's your best work!
Dude, you're commentary is awesome.
He's commentary is awesome.
Luke:
"The force is not a power you have."
*Dies from force exhaustion*
Vader: "The Force is strong with this one."
Obi-wan: "The Force is where a Jedi gets his power."
Leia in Return of the Jedi: "Luke, you have a great power."
Luke in The Last Jedi: "The Force is not a power you have."
(Random street-sweeper kid proceeds to call his broom like Harry Potter, but using the Force.)
@Gaz 84 I certainly understand... particularly since he sent a completely untested student to save the day, while he just BOUGHT THEM TIME until she ARRIVED.
Because Luke KNEW that there was an exit blocked by boulders, that he KNEW she could move-- right?
THAT'S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS!
The Force is female, don't ya know, and so Luke's cisgender self could only sustain it at a high level for so long before collapsing upon itself. Rey, on the other hand, naturally wields it with no limitations, and this doesn't make her a Mary Sue like some loser misogynists out there say!
Gaz 84 yeah fr at least he got to die lol so he didn’t contractually have to continue helping this non canon bullshit
The whole sequel trilogy and the possibility of a complete re-do is precisely the one and only thing I‘m positively hoping for regarding the future possibilities of deep fakes.
"in fact, i confidently predict that future generations will look back on this as a film that changed the Star Wars franchise forever." well . . . you're right about that. you ARE right about that.
When Luke died, that was the HIGHEST sunset ever !!!
the point at which the colour of a sun will be defracted and look like a sunset is dependant on the thickness of the atmosphere. which is why sunsets on earth even look different each day.
The most underrated goldmine of a channel on youtube. Love your work!
"Once again, her plans are foiled by the Giant Metal Testicle!" LOL GO GMT8, LOL! This is BRILLIANT and a perfect reason why she nearly sacrificed her life to stop Finn from taking out the Imp-er First Odor Mega Cannon! LOL
Pure quality! This guy is superb.
Frist starwars movies: good story, good direction
Prequels : good story, bad execution.
Sequels: bad story, bad execution
Nah, the prequels we're great all around, but the Phantom Menace CGI has aged badly in places
@@grantwilson4506 sort of. I like them but they are not so very well rounded and dialogs are not good "I truly deeply love you" and there are no scenes which lead to this kind of things. But is possible to get over it, it's true... SW new hope is pompous, big movie absolutely shaking my head how they did it. Pure cinematography...
First*
@@lakshaykochhar9802 🐵
Agreed, but what saves the prequels is that they are so incredibly comedic due to their bad execution. They have redeeming qualities.
The sequels really don't.
It's funny; people called Episode 1 racist over Jar Jar Binks, but what is more offensive is how Finn was treated in Episode 8. Here's an interesting black male character that seemed to be force aware (Kylo Ren sensed it twice in TFA) and then he's reduced to comic relief and being a goofy sidekick. What?! But the Force is Female, I suppose. Can't have a strong male Jedi taking away screen time from Rey.
I think its sweet that they let Finn play big brother to the downs syndrome girl. She really needed an adventure in her sad meaningless life, and Finn sacrificed his potentially greater heroic actions that might find their way into the history books to do small acts of kindness for the mentally deficient.
And as a trained soldier he is easily defeated by a gurl mechanic.
He's a better character. He has an actual character arch. He's relatable. He is driving his story forward rather than being carried by the story. This series should have been about him.
@@FeralLogic absolutely, him and maybe kylo ren a bit, everyone elses story arc has been raped and defiled
Did... did you even watch the first six episodes?
Ironically, I stumbled across your channel while hammered. Now I can’t get enough of you channel...while still hammered. Keep this S up!
you are the jedi to the sith that made the sequels. Thank you kind Sir
"In a galaxy far, far away it really is possible to get your hair cut in a vending machine." - The line that put a mottled, coffee layer on my monitor & odd, sideways looks from work colleagues you despicable, funny git.
Did you show them the vid? 'Cause I guarantee that they'd have the same reaction
That vending-machine must need repair.
@blackrave404 WOAAAHHHH...... lmao
"BROKEN AND DEFEATED BY THE LOST OF HIS MILK" LMAO!!!
The rose double agent thing would have been a great twist
I have no idea how I missed these "The Genius of" videos.
I laughed so hard on “why do trees explode when they burn?”
People looked at me funny
Some do. Not in Ireland but in Australia and the US.
Australian eucalyptus trees actually do explode into fireballs because of the eucalyptus oil.
Is it possible to draw Rian Johnstons head with just a draftsman’s compass?
@@Hawkinszm1 it is, successful in my first attempt.
Actually exploding trees were claimed by Trumpo the Klown as a big reason for the California fires in addition to the people of California not "raking their forests enough". Naturally, none of this disaster had anything to do with global warming which as we all know from Donny J is a Chinese hoax anyway.
Brilliant analysis !
This ending with dictators was so on point...
A casual observer would never get the sarcasm in this. I could imagine the shock on someone’s face when they hear this.
the "draftsman's compass" line got me so good
Admiral Hairdo is the personification of every thing wrong with the new Star Wars. Its amazing they did such a good job of making her so bad...
I just realised, that shot of Yoda talking with the fire background is quite literally commentary by ruin johnson. "Come and see, all to witness, I will burn star wars right to the ground using your favourite characters ~ Trekkie out".
" Watch all your future's die"
Sounds like something the Joker would do
This actually made me laugh out loud. Your delivery was the best part.
Rose actually makes sense this way.
Well played, good sir!
Rose Tico was Palpatine's clone all along. Just like the Jar Jar sith theory.
Rey is a Targaryen. So is Rose.
Oh wow, I just realized something. Now that D&D have finished burning GoT to the ground, they're moving onto Star Wars. They love delivering fan service, so you know what that means? We're finally getting Darth Jar Jar in the next trilogy. You heard it here first.
@@eternalreign2313 if you're right....I may be able to grant a small portion of forgiveness.
@@eternalreign2313 but still they're screw ups. They'll probably sew his mouth shut like in X-Men origins.
@@eternalreign2313 Jar Jar was already Daft.
“The giant metal testicle” 🤣💀
Darth Jar Jar took on Rose Tico as his Sith apprentice this whole time.
Your description of Rose was hilarious and spot on. Love your voice...
Your rose theory actually sounds convincing. I now want it to be true.
More content like this please. Making her the villan is tight.
Brilliant 5 years ago, and brilliant today. Drinker you're a legend😂🍺👏
The type of people that don’t get this humor are people that enjoyed The Last Jedi
Is it possible to draw Ryan Johnson's head using only a draft man's compass😂
Genius. I missed half a minute of the video after that, laughing too hard.
"This is what happens when you work to change things, and first they think you're crazy, then they fight you, and then all of a sudden you change the world," - Elizabeth Holmes
I am suddenly intrigued by the idea of Rose Tico as a First Order mole. In seriousness, that would have been a cool reveal and explain how they are tracked through hyperspace. Honestly intrigued by seeing the veil drop on her hapless demeanor and would be fascinated to see her do some truly dark shit before finding a way to escape.
The Sarcasm is stong in this one.
Stephen Lane
Heh, “stong”.
Unbelievable...
Ar D is a typo really unbelievable lol
Will Dawson
Lol, I’m bored, leave me alone.
Ar D 😁