I lost my beloved 41 year old daughter to cancer two years ago. It was and continues to be a traumatic and devastating time. A friend who has a daughter of a similar age, told me the day after my daughters death that I should Remember the Happy Times. I had just watched my daughter die a painful and horrific death., yet she expected me to remember the happy times. All I could remember was watching her die, it filled my mind totally. I was so angry and grief stricken at this comment I honestly wanted to attack her. I am not a violent person at all but people really need to think what they are saying in these circumstances , try and have just a little empathy. Susan
so accurate No-one will understand us unless they have lost a child. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Only child my beautiful 20 year old son in a car accident 2 months ago. I am broken my soul is gone- I do Not want to be here. I want to be with him forever. This pain is unbearable/ indescribable.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son. I lost my 29 year old daughter in a hit and run driver in Oct., 2022. I am broken . I long for her constantly. This is the worst thing that can happen to a parent. Sending you much love.
I'm also a grieving mother after losing my eldest son of 3 on July 2021. Many will abandon you to avoid the awkwardness. I was once told that death is a natural event and everyone dies. They will not know how insensitive that was until it happens to them. Sympathy and remorse for grieving parents kicked in because I realized that I should have been there for them. There are parents that I have apologized to because I had no idea of what they were going through.
Everything you said and yes. Some people, friends, family….they almost can’t even look at you because the horror of loosing a child is that much closer to them. I’ve cried every single day for 992 days. So much that I think my sodium level is off. The earth shifted when I knew what happened. I literally and physically felt it shift. Being told your child has died literally throws you into perpetual shock. It’s traumatic. No, you aren’t the same person. Im not, never will be. Im still broken. Find it hard to grocery shop because I’ll see something he would like and I’ll just stare at a jar of Nutella. He loved it. I’m left with smelling a hairbrush and memories. I used to time the train at night, it wasn’t far. But, I thought of the conductor and how unfair that was. I equate loosing a child with being skinned alive and it is. I still feel that raw and it never goes away. Anger sometimes turns to rage and then to back to grief that brings you to your knees. Actually had a dear friend in 2 months after he died. She wanted to go get manicures and pedicures and have a “girls” day. Chit chatting about her life as if mine hadn’t been shattered to a million pieces. I poured myself another glass of wine and blankly stared at her and I thought “ I hope it never comes for you….loosing a child”. It breaks you.
I also loss my 14 year old son to a feaking river accident....May 19 2023 is the worst day of my life as a mother,,,everything you say is true ,,its also bothers me lot to talk to people who are insentitive,,,thank you for youre video
I lost my 29 year old son unexpectedly, one month ago. Everything you said is spot on. I have noticed since the funeral, most have disappeared. You can't blame them. It's the holidays season and they want to be happy with their family. I am now just done posting to FB. Done trying to explain that I am STILL here and suffering. I dont want to hear. "It's time to make new memories. Tyler would have wanted that" "If he had taken better care of his health, maybe this wouldn't have happened " "You need to determine a set time. 3 days, 3 weeks, or 3 months to grieve and then move on" "I know you lost your two pets at the same time. Have you thought about getting more? I know someone who has some kittens" "Nothing will change what has happened. It's just unfortunate " Those are some of the things I have heard and that have triggered me.
This helped me a lot. I did share the video with my friends. I lost my 2 sons someday aged 23 and 17 in 2020. True l will never be the same. What l have found helping is exercising. I walk 10 km 5 days a week . Eat proper and avoid sugar. Do not associate with people who do not understand your situation. As u mentioned that reading helps a lot and being on UA-cam listening to such videos like yours. U have helped me so so much and u have made me understand that l am normal. Plz continue doing what u are doing because u are good at it and a lot of us are being encouraged. Thank u.
My best friend since 3rd grade just lost her 22 year old son. He was 22 years old and got murdered at a party. 38 years of friendship and i have NO IDEA how to be there for my friend. This changes EVERYTHING. for the rest of our lives. THANK YOU FOR DOING THESE VIDEOS. your 1st video allowed me to help her through the celebration of life service as she was melting down. And I am So thankful, that you are posting these for people like me. I know how TREMEDOUSLY hard it must be for you and I thank God for you. That through your sorrow, you are selfless enough to help those who experienced the worst thing imaginable, just as you did. I pray for you as well. Allow God to walk through this with you. Talk to Him. Open up you heart to his comfort. May he bring you peace that surpasses understanding. John 14:27. Thank you again. These videos are SO NEEDED, AND EXTREMELY HELPFUL! if you want to pray for my friend her name is Samantha, and her sons name was Javon. Thank you
I lost my daughter a little less than 6 months ago. Your video felt like you were describing my feelings. I am so sorry for your loss. Your pain is so evident and I know that pain. I shared your video on my Facebook. I also texted it to friends because although many of them have been extremely supportive, many of course can't comprehend the agony I'm in. This video will help others understand especially the ones that want to help. I wish I knew your name. I would love to communicate with you. Thank you for being so brave to share.
My name is Nikki. Check out my other video on surviving the first six months of child loss. I am aiming to help people as much as possible on this terrible journey.
@@ChildlossUK I watched it. Thank you!!! My brother let me know he watched this video what to say and not to say and one of my friends texted me to tell me she watched you too.
@@ChildlossUK. Hello , I’m going out today and I’m going to see a somebody who lost a child …..your video is so valuable ❤️. Thankyou beautiful lady , hug from my heart 💕
Thank you for putting this into words so well. I feel you and your pain. Lost my beautiful 18yr old son, 8wks ago, accidental drowning. Your videos are the most genuine, and you put into words how I feel. Thank you so much for sharing your story and thoughts with us who are seeking ways through our debilitating grief 💔
Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss and what you're going through. Secondly I lost my little sister a few weeks ago. I'm doing my best to support my mum atm too. Her loss is unimaginable to me even though I lost à child of my own through ectopic pregnancy some years ago. It's not the same though because we had my sister for 49years. I've told my mum she'll never get over the loss but will learn to live around the pain. She's only now crying in front of me and told me she was trying not to do that in front of us . I pointed out that she needs to let out her tears and she doesn't need to be strong for us as we're all grown adults. I told her that my sisters passing has left a large void that nothing will fill however we can keep the beautiful memories of her in our hearts. I've begun also speaking with her about still celebrating what would have been my sisters 50th birthday in August and we discussed a few things that she would like to do then. It will take time but things will get better. Everything is still raw and in some ways still up in the air. Anyways I wish you well and so much love and peace ❤
I admire you immensely for making these videos - you are so articulate in the face of your terrible pain. My beautiful friend, the world is a much poorer place without Cameron in it.
❤😢I lost my 15 yr old also February 8,2023 I watched tons of videos on UA-cam about raising the dead just like Jesus did and about near death experiences ,I was and am still in denial hoping and praying for miracle,I still have her cloths in her dresser,I pray I'll get to the acceptance part soon because hoping for her to come back is like a never ending maze of torment🙏
How about someone saying "Your child wouldnt want this. She would want you to work though it and move on" Said by a psychologist aged 50 newly married, never had children and never intends to have children either by surrogacy or adoption.
I found yourvideo right i am grieving for my son 46 years old found hin dead in gis room yes it is very different than losing a husband very different from losing a child i cry i do not believe in god anymore i found your video helpful i need to be strong fir. My daughter very dificult for me thank you.susan Holtzman delray beach fl.😅😅
It's not their fault if they don't know what to say. We had to loose a child to know what they should or shouldn't say. We also shouldn't put our anger on them.
Thank you for this video , (this is my husbands profile) after losing my son 12 March 2022 , I was off work and my neighbour called me a lady of leisure , like you say people have no idea
Its better if some people DONT say anything at all instead of coming out with stupid things like, i understand, i know where your coming from, and they've not lost a child
We have a similar story as my son was the best... Never troublesome smart healthy in shape and was a American football player...killed tragically in a car accident as he was a passenger I found your channel extremely helpful and I felt a connection to you... Thank you for this please reach out to me
I wish you so much strength to dealing with this grief. As a grieving parent, I sensed that when I had the courage to let go of my deep, deep sadness, I felt that the Love there always was between us, will always stay in a more peacefull way. I cannot determine when another grieving parent reaches this, because it's not a one way street. Some grieving parents cope in a very different way.
Hi Nikki I lost my son 6 weeks ago suddenly my son Michael died, we’ve got Michael’s daughter who has special needs in our care now. A privilege to care & love her where daddy isn’t here. We’ve been I call it ghosted but very few contact me. The church has been the same I get people don’t know what to say, but isn’t something better than nothing. After watching this last night I. Got a fb message from our pastor ( I’ve been on a wonderful holiday etc hope things are going well etc) I was totally flawed. That’s when anger hit in. Needless to say we left the church. Sorry for the rant ❤️
Worst is when people probe you for details. It is the right of people who lost someone to share what they want, when they want, and with whom they want. Their loss is not your juicy details. Also, the other horrible thing is to use it as your gossip. Telling people that the griever hadn't told and being caught off guard by people you didn't know who know all the details in less than 30 minutes and know before other family members. It is not your right to share unless you are given permission and you don't know that everyone knows everything and sometimes for good reason
My heart breaks for all parents who have lost children. That's unimaginable pain. Is this video for unbelievers only? Most believers I know are quite comforted knowing their saved, loved ones are in heaven.
My son passed away almost 30 years ago and yes, and as a believer, I do get some comfort believing we’ll be reunited. BUT, I still miss him terribly every day, knowing while I am on this earth I will never see his face, hug him, talk to him, etc. again. THAT is the unimaginable pain and grief all of us bereaved parents share and endure. We may learn to walk this path with some grace, but we never “get over” it. Remember, Jesus wept when he was told his FRIEND Lazarus had died, even knowing he was going to shortly resurrect him.
I just found your two videos today, it’s been 14 months since I lost my son Patrick . The only support I’ve had is a Facebook group, which like you has made me even more sad seeing how many are suffering like I am. I’m so glad I found your videos, you are spot on with how I feel. I don’t know if you have more that two but I will look, if not please make more 💔💔💔
I lost my daughter in Oct., 2022 and my religious narcissistic MIL kept trying to lecture me that “god had lessons for me “. I told her I was too upset to talk to her but wanted to scream at her that she could take the lessons and lose a 29 year old daughter and I’d take 4 living adult children.
I never talked with my best friend how she felt about losing her child to SIDS. Would it be helpful to see if she'd want to discuss her baby on the baby's birthday or baby's passing date? It's been about 6 years now.
Another is the "be stong" cliche. Had this countless times after the sudden recent loss of my 6 year old son. LIke telling a clinically depressed person to "be happy". I know most mean good but why this "be strong "all the time
I lost my daughter and there are so many stupid tone deaf grief videos I have seen . This is not one of them! I hope this helps others understand the incomprehensible gravity of such an experience. Pain, Guilt, Emptiness.... the most terrible triad
I lost my beloved 41 year old daughter to cancer two years ago. It was and continues to be a traumatic and devastating time. A friend who has a daughter of a similar age, told me the day after my daughters death that I should Remember the Happy Times. I had just watched my daughter die a painful and horrific death., yet she expected me to remember the happy times. All I could remember was watching her die, it filled my mind totally. I was so angry and grief stricken at this comment I honestly wanted to attack her. I am not a violent person at all but people really need to think what they are saying in these circumstances , try and have just a little empathy. Susan
i can so relate to you, mine passed in similir circumstances at 21, a lot of people just dont get it sad to say, so so sorry
so accurate No-one will understand us unless they have lost a child. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Only child my beautiful 20 year old son in a car accident 2 months ago. I am broken my soul is gone- I do Not want to be here. I want to be with him forever. This pain is unbearable/ indescribable.
I am so very very sorry. It is the most unbearable pain. I am with you x
My heart goes out to you and your family after such a devastating loss.
Reaching out to you, I'm so very sorry. I hope you can speak with someone ❤
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son. I lost my 29 year old daughter in a hit and run driver in Oct., 2022. I am broken . I long for her constantly. This is the worst thing that can happen to a parent.
Sending you much love.
Oh love I can feel your pain sorry for your loss, ❤️
I'm also a grieving mother after losing my eldest son of 3 on July 2021. Many will abandon you to avoid the awkwardness. I was once told that death is a natural event and everyone dies. They will not know how insensitive that was until it happens to them. Sympathy and remorse for grieving parents kicked in because I realized that I should have been there for them. There are parents that I have apologized to because I had no idea of what they were going through.
Everything you said and yes. Some people, friends, family….they almost can’t even look at you because the horror of loosing a child is that much closer to them. I’ve cried every single day for 992 days. So much that I think my sodium level is off. The earth shifted when I knew what happened. I literally and physically felt it shift. Being told your child has died literally throws you into perpetual shock. It’s traumatic. No, you aren’t the same person. Im not, never will be. Im still broken. Find it hard to grocery shop because I’ll see something he would like and I’ll just stare at a jar of Nutella. He loved it. I’m left with smelling a hairbrush and memories. I used to time the train at night, it wasn’t far. But, I thought of the conductor and how unfair that was. I equate loosing a child with being skinned alive and it is. I still feel that raw and it never goes away. Anger sometimes turns to rage and then to back to grief that brings you to your knees. Actually had a dear friend in 2 months after he died. She wanted to go get manicures and pedicures and have a “girls” day. Chit chatting about her life as if mine hadn’t been shattered to a million pieces. I poured myself another glass of wine and blankly stared at her and I thought “ I hope it never comes for you….loosing a child”. It breaks you.
I also loss my 14 year old son to a feaking river accident....May 19 2023 is the worst day of my life as a mother,,,everything you say is true ,,its also bothers me lot to talk to people who are insentitive,,,thank you for youre video
I lost my 29 year old son unexpectedly, one month ago. Everything you said is spot on. I have noticed since the funeral, most have disappeared. You can't blame them. It's the holidays season and they want to be happy with their family. I am now just done posting to FB. Done trying to explain that I am STILL here and suffering. I dont want to hear.
"It's time to make new memories. Tyler would have wanted that"
"If he had taken better care of his health, maybe this wouldn't have happened "
"You need to determine a set time. 3 days, 3 weeks, or 3 months to grieve and then move on"
"I know you lost your two pets at the same time. Have you thought about getting more? I know someone who has some kittens"
"Nothing will change what has happened. It's just unfortunate "
Those are some of the things I have heard and that have triggered me.
Words fail me what people have said to you. I’m so sorry 💔
This helped me a lot. I did share the video with my friends. I lost my 2 sons someday aged 23 and 17 in 2020. True l will never be the same. What l have found helping is exercising. I walk 10 km 5 days a week . Eat proper and avoid sugar. Do not associate with people who do not understand your situation. As u mentioned that reading helps a lot and being on UA-cam listening to such videos like yours. U have helped me so so much and u have made me understand that l am normal. Plz continue doing what u are doing because u are good at it and a lot of us are being encouraged. Thank u.
I'm incredibly sorry for your loss ❤
I lost my daughter 2 years ago and the pain of grief is crushing. People have withdrawn from me. Your video was excellent.
My best friend since 3rd grade just lost her 22 year old son. He was 22 years old and got murdered at a party. 38 years of friendship and i have NO IDEA how to be there for my friend. This changes EVERYTHING. for the rest of our lives. THANK YOU FOR DOING THESE VIDEOS. your 1st video allowed me to help her through the celebration of life service as she was melting down. And I am So thankful, that you are posting these for people like me. I know how TREMEDOUSLY hard it must be for you and I thank God for you. That through your sorrow, you are selfless enough to help those who experienced the worst thing imaginable, just as you did. I pray for you as well. Allow God to walk through this with you. Talk to Him. Open up you heart to his comfort. May he bring you peace that surpasses understanding. John 14:27. Thank you again. These videos are SO NEEDED, AND EXTREMELY HELPFUL! if you want to pray for my friend her name is Samantha, and her sons name was Javon. Thank you
I lost my daughter a little less than 6 months ago. Your video felt like you were describing my feelings. I am so sorry for your loss. Your pain is so evident and I know that pain. I shared your video on my Facebook. I also texted it to friends because although many of them have been extremely supportive, many of course can't comprehend the agony I'm in. This video will help others understand especially the ones that want to help. I wish I knew your name. I would love to communicate with you. Thank you for being so brave to share.
My name is Nikki. Check out my other video on surviving the first six months of child loss. I am aiming to help people as much as possible on this terrible journey.
@@ChildlossUK I watched it. Thank you!!! My brother let me know he watched this video what to say and not to say and one of my friends texted me to tell me she watched you too.
❤
@@ChildlossUK😮⁷oììì⁸8ⁿ8⁸
@@ChildlossUK. Hello , I’m going out today and I’m going to see a somebody who lost a child …..your video is so valuable ❤️. Thankyou beautiful lady , hug from my heart 💕
Thank you for your helpful video. It's very accurate. People who have not experienced our loss cannot understand our infinite, desperate pain.
❤
Thank you for putting this into words so well. I feel you and your pain. Lost my beautiful 18yr old son, 8wks ago, accidental drowning. Your videos are the most genuine, and you put into words how I feel. Thank you so much for sharing your story and thoughts with us who are seeking ways through our debilitating grief 💔
I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. God bless 💞
Not helpful… “ You were the best mom” so what! My son is gone.
Helpful…” Thinking of you”
Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss and what you're going through.
Secondly I lost my little sister a few weeks ago.
I'm doing my best to support my mum atm too.
Her loss is unimaginable to me even though I lost à child of my own through ectopic pregnancy some years ago. It's not the same though because we had my sister for 49years.
I've told my mum she'll never get over the loss but will learn to live around the pain.
She's only now crying in front of me and told me she was trying not to do that in front of us .
I pointed out that she needs to let out her tears and she doesn't need to be strong for us as we're all grown adults.
I told her that my sisters passing has left a large void that nothing will fill however we can keep the beautiful memories of her in our hearts.
I've begun also speaking with her about still celebrating what would have been my sisters 50th birthday in August and we discussed a few things that she would like to do then.
It will take time but things will get better.
Everything is still raw and in some ways still up in the air.
Anyways I wish you well and so much love and peace ❤
I admire you immensely for making these videos - you are so articulate in the face of your terrible pain. My beautiful friend, the world is a much poorer place without Cameron in it.
Hello I lost my daughter two and half years ago I cry alot need some help which I can't get in my country thanks for the video
Very well said. I lost my 15 year old a few months ago. I've shared this video to my Facebook, I just hope some people come along and watch it.
❤
❤😢I lost my 15 yr old also February 8,2023 I watched tons of videos on UA-cam about raising the dead just like Jesus did and about near death experiences ,I was and am still in denial hoping and praying for miracle,I still have her cloths in her dresser,I pray I'll get to the acceptance part soon because hoping for her to come back is like a never ending maze of torment🙏
How about someone saying "Your child wouldnt want this. She would want you to work though it and move on" Said by a psychologist aged 50 newly married, never had children and never intends to have children either by surrogacy or adoption.
I found yourvideo right i am grieving for my son 46 years old found hin dead in gis room yes it is very different than losing a husband very different from losing a child i cry i do not believe in god anymore i found your video helpful i need to be strong fir. My daughter very dificult for me thank you.susan Holtzman delray beach fl.😅😅
It's not their fault if they don't know what to say. We had to loose a child to know what they should or shouldn't say. We also shouldn't put our anger on them.
The time heals cliché upsets me. God heals to me is more comforting. I am so sorry about your great loss. Thanks for this podcast
Thank you for this video , (this is my husbands profile) after losing my son
12 March 2022 , I was off work and my neighbour called me a lady of leisure , like you say people have no idea
Wonderful video! So true! Don’t say platitudes! Say the truth!
I'm so grateful for your help with this grief i lost my 24 year old son, your words help me
Its better if some people DONT say anything at all instead of coming out with stupid things like, i understand, i know where your coming from, and they've not lost a child
We have a similar story as my son was the best... Never troublesome smart healthy in shape and was a American football player...killed tragically in a car accident as he was a passenger I found your channel extremely helpful and I felt a connection to you... Thank you for this please reach out to me
Ty once again for making another great informative video.I lost my daughter 5months ago and everything you said is correct. 😘❤️
yes, very helpful
Beautiful child, so sorry for your loss. Thank you .
I wish you so much strength to dealing with this grief. As a grieving parent, I sensed that when I had the courage to let go of my deep, deep sadness, I felt that the Love there always was between us, will always stay in a more peacefull way. I cannot determine when another grieving parent reaches this, because it's not a one way street. Some grieving parents cope in a very different way.
I lost my daughter months ago. What you have been saying about grief it's exactly what us happening to me. Thank you very much appreciated.
Hi Nikki I lost my son 6 weeks ago suddenly my son Michael died, we’ve got Michael’s daughter who has special needs in our care now. A privilege to care & love her where daddy isn’t here. We’ve been I call it ghosted but very few contact me. The church has been the same I get people don’t know what to say, but isn’t something better than nothing. After watching this last night I. Got a fb message from our pastor ( I’ve been on a wonderful holiday etc hope things are going well etc) I was totally flawed. That’s when anger hit in. Needless to say we left the church. Sorry for the rant ❤️
Worst is when people probe you for details. It is the right of people who lost someone to share what they want, when they want, and with whom they want. Their loss is not your juicy details. Also, the other horrible thing is to use it as your gossip. Telling people that the griever hadn't told and being caught off guard by people you didn't know who know all the details in less than 30 minutes and know before other family members. It is not your right to share unless you are given permission and you don't know that everyone knows everything and sometimes for good reason
❤
I found this very helpful, I lost my son 11 weeks ago and I can relate to everything you say, please carry on making these videos
My heart breaks for all parents who have lost children. That's unimaginable pain. Is this video for unbelievers only? Most believers I know are quite comforted knowing their saved, loved ones are in heaven.
My son passed away almost 30 years ago and yes, and as a believer, I do get some comfort believing we’ll be reunited. BUT, I still miss him terribly every day, knowing while I am on this earth I will never see his face, hug him, talk to him, etc. again. THAT is the unimaginable pain and grief all of us bereaved parents share and endure. We may learn to walk this path with some grace, but we never “get over” it. Remember, Jesus wept when he was told his FRIEND Lazarus had died, even knowing he was going to shortly resurrect him.
Your words are so true ❤
Just found your tube tonight
Thank you for sharing just how you feel x
Thank you so much for sharing. This was really helpful. Sorry for your loss.
Be kind to yourself and don't expect yourself to do anything but take care of YOU.
Thank you for making these videos they are so helpful 😢
Yes yes you have made the best potcast of the year.Exacly the right things/words
I wish you lots strenght.😢P.S.Actaully you made my day .
I am glad I do not have to be around anyone.
Great video, thank you
I just found your two videos today, it’s been 14 months since I lost my son Patrick . The only support I’ve had is a Facebook group, which like you has made me even more sad seeing how many are suffering like I am. I’m so glad I found your videos, you are spot on with how I feel. I don’t know if you have more that two but I will look, if not please make more 💔💔💔
Hello there. I have five videos on you tube x
Thank you. I just lost my seven year old son in May from asthmaattack and I feel lost without him. I miss him so much. @ChildlossUK
Thank so much.❤
Thank you!
Same.
I is video is great , especially the religious comments about what not to say.
I lost my daughter in Oct., 2022 and my religious narcissistic MIL kept trying to lecture me that “god had lessons for me “. I told her I was too upset to talk to her but wanted to scream at her that she could take the lessons and lose a 29 year old daughter and I’d take 4 living adult children.
It's better to say nothing than wrong words.
I never talked with my best friend how she felt about losing her child to SIDS. Would it be helpful to see if she'd want to discuss her baby on the baby's birthday or baby's passing date? It's been about 6 years now.
Another is the "be stong" cliche. Had this countless times after the sudden recent loss of my 6 year old son. LIke telling a clinically depressed person to "be happy". I know most mean good but why this "be strong "all the time
I lost my daughter and there are so many stupid tone deaf grief videos I have seen . This is not one of them! I hope this helps others understand the incomprehensible gravity of such an experience. Pain, Guilt, Emptiness.... the most terrible triad
YES...WE KNOW THERE IS A GOD!!!!!!!!
I turned you off because I KNOW I HAVE JESUS IN MY HEART. GOD bless you.