Thank you for this video. Our son Ryan passed away 5 weeks ago tomorrow at 37 years old from a totally unexpected heart attack. I too feel I will always say I have 2 children…our dtr Spenser and our son Ryan. ❤
Hi, what a wonderful resource for how we cope with grief after the loss of a child. I am an old timer at this after losing my son almost 29 years ago to cancer. He was 18 and the light of my life. I had two children, a boy, and a girl and this is what I say when people I do not know ask me. I usually say, 'I was blessed with two children, but sadly my son died from bone cancer, but I still have the blessing of my daughter' It gets easier with time, but I remember being reduced to nothing when asked for the first time by somebody I did not know. Grief after losing a child is a lifetime journey, it never really ends, it just gets more familiar and becomes a strange type of friend because it is a constant reminder of the absence of our children and how precious they still are to us. Do I still cry? Oh yes, and the pain even after all these years will sneak up on me when I least expect it. I work in therapy now and I always tell my clients that the deeper we love, the more we hurt and the loss of our child is the hardest and deepest pain that we can ever feel because it robs us of so much, our past, our present, and our future. But there is life after their death it just takes time to adjust to the new life without forgetting the old.
I burst into tears the first time I was asked (poor dentist). Now I say, I have three children, one who lives near me, one who lives by the beach and one who is in heaven…though she would dispute that fact. It answers the question, causes a chuckle and puts an end to the questions!
I love this "lazy" video... Thank you for this... Lost my precious daughter five months ago, and still can't believe... My little son is six, and struggles on a daily basis how to answer that so normal and at the same time horrifying question: have you got a sister or a brother... I would love to find the right answer for him.. when we talk about it, he feels and persuades me that his beautiful sister is here with him.. in the house, in his mind while he is at his sports training, and obviously when he has some time to think about things, more precisely when he is alone... But when he exits this inner world of emotions and intuition, as you said, legally and biologically he is aware that she is no longer here... And it makes him sad cause nobody is going to understand what he feels. Especially, the kids around him.. From the very beginning, it was his first wish to meet someone of his age who had gone through the same experience.. As we- adults- need support, our children also need it.. maybe even more, if there were only two of them ( siblings).. I live in a small country, with no, or poorly developed mental health support.. so, I'm dreaming of doing sth for the grieving, but have no clue how to start and what to focus on.. I have put all my energy in this griefwork and how to handle it day by day... have to learn a lot, but hopefully I will be able to help someone... So, I want you to know that I appreciate this effort of yours and send you hugs and hope you'll have nice and pleasant people walk you through this horrible journey... Hugs and strength to all grieving 🤎💛💚
What a lovely message Thankyou. Tell your son his sister will always walk with him but it’s easier to just tell people ‘She is in heaven’. I am hoping to do a grieving siblings video soon and get my daughter involved x
Thank you so much for this, Nikki. I am five months out from the devastating loss of my 18-year-old son, and dread this question (although I haven't faced it yet.) I like the idea of having a response prepared. Your videos provide such comfort and I relate to everything you say. Only another bereaved parent can truly understand the way life as we know it has been shattered. Thank you for putting your thoughts and your heart out there.
Our loss is very recent. Our 24 year old daughter died 3 days ago from SUDEP (Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy). I cant imaging not saying that i have 2 kids. You videos feel like the hug i so desperately need. I can only hope i will be able to hold it together like you some day. Please stick with it if your grief permits.
@@ChildlossUK I'm working through them as we speak. I started at your first. I can't imagine having the strength to do what you do. You say that you are a wreck, but from my perspective you are in a state that I can only dream of getting to.
You will I promise but the first few months are hard beyond words. Give yourself a lot of kindness. In the first few weeks I could do nothing. I could barely breathe let alone function 😢
@@ChildlossUK I'm finding today very difficult. I think nature was initially sheltering me with a state of shock, but today I think that I'm getting over the shock and I'm very low. And it's still only early morning. (I'm in eastern Canada)
Thank you for sharing this. I lost my 24 year old son in April and have thought about, and dread the day this question will be asked of me. I appreciate your insight.
Thank you for this nice video that can help us ! I have seen yesterday your first video and wrote a message below ( even if I have not a very good english ) ''How many children have you'' is a question I have faced. It is hard and I agree with you, we have to answer what works for us and may change the day after or the next hour. Earing you about all that makes me real warm in my heart 🥰. Thank you !🙏 Love from France 🧡💚💙
I asked this very question the day my son died less than a month ago. I am thinking about this. In my mind, I will always have three sons. I’m not sure I’ll elaborate.
You always will! And you absolutely owe no one… details or explanation of your Family make up. I will forever have 2 son’s, my youngest Jeremiah will always be 18 and my beautiful baby boy 🤍
The title of your video was "how many children do i have now, well last year i had two, now I have none, my daughter died of cancer after frightening it for 5 years, on the 20th of march this year my son committed suicide. How I get though some days I just know, but today been very bad for me, i don't know whether counselling would help? but i cant carry on typing this message i am to bloody depressed.
You have 2 children,always will.❤
Thank you for this video. Our son Ryan passed away 5 weeks ago tomorrow at 37 years old from a totally unexpected heart attack. I too feel I will always say I have 2 children…our dtr Spenser and our son Ryan. ❤
Hi, what a wonderful resource for how we cope with grief after the loss of a child.
I am an old timer at this after losing my son almost 29 years ago to cancer. He was 18 and the light of my life. I had two children, a boy, and a girl and this is what I say when people I do not know ask me. I usually say, 'I was blessed with two children, but sadly my son died from bone cancer, but I still have the blessing of my daughter' It gets easier with time, but I remember being reduced to nothing when asked for the first time by somebody I did not know.
Grief after losing a child is a lifetime journey, it never really ends, it just gets more familiar and becomes a strange type of friend because it is a constant reminder of the absence of our children and how precious they still are to us. Do I still cry? Oh yes, and the pain even after all these years will sneak up on me when I least expect it.
I work in therapy now and I always tell my clients that the deeper we love, the more we hurt and the loss of our child is the hardest and deepest pain that we can ever feel because it robs us of so much, our past, our present, and our future. But there is life after their death it just takes time to adjust to the new life without forgetting the old.
Wonderful words Thankyou
I will always say I have 2 children. My daughter mattered and she always will.
I burst into tears the first time I was asked (poor dentist).
Now I say, I have three children, one who lives near me, one who lives by the beach and one who is in heaven…though she would dispute that fact. It answers the question, causes a chuckle and puts an end to the questions!
I love this "lazy" video... Thank you for this...
Lost my precious daughter five months ago, and still can't believe... My little son is six, and struggles on a daily basis how to answer that so normal and at the same time horrifying question: have you got a sister or a brother...
I would love to find the right answer for him.. when we talk about it, he feels and persuades me that his beautiful sister is here with him.. in the house, in his mind while he is at his sports training, and obviously when he has some time to think about things, more precisely when he is alone...
But when he exits this inner world of emotions and intuition, as you said, legally and biologically he is aware that she is no longer here... And it makes him sad cause nobody is going to understand what he feels. Especially, the kids around him..
From the very beginning, it was his first wish to meet someone of his age who had gone through the same experience..
As we- adults- need support, our children also need it.. maybe even more, if there were only two of them ( siblings)..
I live in a small country, with no, or poorly developed mental health support.. so, I'm dreaming of doing sth for the grieving, but have no clue how to start and what to focus on.. I have put all my energy in this griefwork and how to handle it day by day... have to learn a lot, but hopefully I will be able to help someone... So, I want you to know that I appreciate this effort of yours and send you hugs and hope you'll have nice and pleasant people walk you through this horrible journey...
Hugs and strength to all grieving 🤎💛💚
What a lovely message Thankyou. Tell your son his sister will always walk with him but it’s easier to just tell people ‘She is in heaven’. I am hoping to do a grieving siblings video soon and get my daughter involved x
@@nikkih2468 I would love to see the video..
And thank you for your suggestion and support 💚
I’m so sorry for your terrible loss 😢x
Thank you so much for this, Nikki. I am five months out from the devastating loss of my 18-year-old son, and dread this question (although I haven't faced it yet.) I like the idea of having a response prepared. Your videos provide such comfort and I relate to everything you say. Only another bereaved parent can truly understand the way life as we know it has been shattered. Thank you for putting your thoughts and your heart out there.
From a grieving Mom to a grieving Mom of a 18 year old son 🫂
I will ALWAYS have 2 son’s. One will forever be my 18 year old baby boy Jeremiah 🤍
Your videos are very helpful, thank you for taking the time to make them.❤
Our loss is very recent. Our 24 year old daughter died 3 days ago from SUDEP (Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy). I cant imaging not saying that i have 2 kids. You videos feel like the hug i so desperately need. I can only hope i will be able to hold it together like you some day. Please stick with it if your grief permits.
I have another four videos on you tube. I hope they help you in some tiny way x
@@ChildlossUK I'm working through them as we speak. I started at your first. I can't imagine having the strength to do what you do. You say that you are a wreck, but from my perspective you are in a state that I can only dream of getting to.
You will I promise but the first few months are hard beyond words. Give yourself a lot of kindness. In the first few weeks I could do nothing. I could barely breathe let alone function 😢
@@ChildlossUK I'm finding today very difficult. I think nature was initially sheltering me with a state of shock, but today I think that I'm getting over the shock and I'm very low. And it's still only early morning. (I'm in eastern Canada)
Thank you for sharing this. I lost my 24 year old son in April and have thought about, and dread the day this question will be asked of me. I appreciate your insight.
Thank you for this nice video that can help us ! I have seen yesterday your first video and wrote a message below ( even if I have not a very good english )
''How many children have you'' is a question I have faced. It is hard and I agree with you, we have to answer what works for us and may change the day after or the next hour.
Earing you about all that makes me real warm in my heart 🥰. Thank you !🙏 Love from France 🧡💚💙
So helpful thank you xxx
I asked this very question the day my son died less than a month ago. I am thinking about this. In my mind, I will always have three sons. I’m not sure I’ll elaborate.
You always will!
And you absolutely owe no one… details or explanation of your Family make up.
I will forever have 2 son’s, my youngest Jeremiah will always be 18 and my beautiful baby boy 🤍
Thank you
The title of your video was "how many children do i have now, well last year i had two, now I have none, my daughter died of cancer after frightening it for 5 years, on the 20th of march this year my son committed suicide. How I get though some days I just know, but today been very bad for me, i don't know whether counselling would help? but i cant carry on typing this message i am to bloody depressed.
I’m not surprised. Your pain must be unbearable. I’m so so sorry x
I say I had 4 children but now have 3