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I think that you can be forgiven. Especially if you have BPD. My mom had BPD. She’s passed. But I forgave her. BPD is not easily treated and usually comes from childhood abuse. Now, does that mean you can be the guy’s best friend? Maybe. But be prepared for more lies and potentially difficult situations in the future.
What I appreciate about this man's apology is that he uses his mental illness to explain his behavior without using it to excuse his behavior. He owns up to his mistakes, accepts the consequences, and asks what he can do to make it right. I think it's right to forgive him and give him a chance to redeem himself.
Respect for the man who owned up to his mistake. He should be forgiven. Just my opinion, but knowing that he’s bi-polar also makes me willing to give him a pass.
Bipolar or not is not an excuse.. But to me also, the way he handled it, the way he openly spoke/wrote about his f-up is completly enough to say he is a good guy, and wish him the best in getting his mental issues fixed..
@@maxpudlowski8820 HAHAHAHAH....YOU MIGHT WANNA LOOK A BIT DEEPER THAN THAT...YEAH WE ALL FUCK UP BUT NOT ALL OF US WILL TRY AND BLAME SOMEONE ELSE OR EVEN TRY TO EXPLAIN THE CONSEQUENCES AWAY WITH AN APOLOGY...IF THEY APOLOGIZE AND KEEP DOING IT THEN THEY ARE TRULY SORRY...
It matters to me. I am glad he admitted it. But as someone that earned a bronze star and purple heart in combat it really pisses me off for the men who died that served with me and the ones that committed suicide after. The sacrifice of combat isn't a game to me.
Having spent a lot of time talking to people with BPD, i feel for that first guy.(assuming that isn't a lie also) When left untreated and unacknowledged, it can really cause an entirely new personality to flourish, completely reinforced by the subject's own belief in everything they say. I've seen it devastate families. I hope he gets help and is sincere in his apology. Poor chap
MY AUNT WAS TOLD SHE WAS BIPOLAR, BUT THAT WAS AFTER SHE FLOODED HER HOUSE WITH THE WATER HOSE. THEY SAID IT HAD BEEN MISDIAGNOSED AS A THYROID PROBLEM WHICH IS WHY SHE WAS FAT...I DONT BELIEVE ANY DISEASE EXISTS AS LONG AS IT IS PROFITABLE...BUT THEN AGAIN I DESPISE THE MONEY SCAM AND ALL WHO WORSHIP IT BECAUSE THEY ENSALVED YOU ALL WITH BULLSHIT LIKE THAT IN A PLOY TO CONTROL THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS IN AN EFFORT TO AVOID THEIR OWN, ONLY TO CAUSE THIER OWN...
@wissawissa83 I do not have bpd, but I have loved ones who have been diagnosed and who have had episodes, both manic and depressive. I don't want to diminish your experiences bc I'm sure how it manifests is different between individuals. However, I can tell you with absolute certainty that a good person CAN become an entirely different (and, frankly, bad) person while suffering through a manic episode. I've watched one of the most beautiful (inside and out) humans I've ever known turn into a destructive shadow of themself during an episode and, yes, episodes can last 6 months or longer if not properly treated. Ironically, in my experience people who are going through a manic episode are unlikely to recognize or accept it and are extremely resistant to getting the healthcare they need. I don't know the man in this story, but everything he said is consistent with what I've experienced and I have a lot of empathy for him.
Man… I suffer from BPD and am a recovering addict. I can only hope there is forgiveness in my future because sometimes it’s like realizing you were literally someone else making completely different decisions sometimes. It’s rough. Ugh. Ya I feel for that guy and that for sure took balls.
Been on the other side of it with people I love. The people who love you will still love you and care about you, and will understand that you're not 'you' during an episode. Bpd is one of the hardest medical issues I've ever seen, especially for the person going through it. Hang in there, friend.
Yes. I teach this to my students all the time. Owning your lies or failures or attitudes gets you clean slate, and respect. I teach college, not martial arts, but it’s amazing how many times students lie, cheats steal, and can be disrespectful. The lessons of honor transcend all disciplines.
Any apology that's coupled with self-victimization and demands for forgiveness is a manipulation tactic, not an apology. You can issue a mea culpa and ask how to resolve harm done without crying about people hating you or persecuting you. You can do better in the future. That's more important than forgiveness anyway.
I’m in HTX & teach at the gym. Seeing the effects on those around us when this happened makes forgiveness difficult, however allowing the negative energy to eat at us keeps us from moving forward. I’m happy to report the gym is thriving and has never been better. Forgive, never forget. Forgiveness doesn’t mean a relationship has to be renewed. We go our way, he goes his.
As someone that earned a purple heart and bronze star in combat it really matters to me after losing many friends to combat and suicide. Thanks for calling him out. Go Army 💪
I don't believe in forgiveness merely for the sake of forgiveness. It seems to me that this has lead to many repeat offenses by those who were so easily forgiven, and the idea that you can do almost anything you want to someone and they are required to forgive you if you apologize seems to permeate modern society. That being said, I believe that someone should be forgiven if they are truly remorseful and work hard to make amends for what they did. Obviously there are some infractions that conceivably cannot be amended, but most are not that heinous. In the case of the first guy, he has demonstrated a sincere apology to those he has wronged. He admitted fault and asks for forgiveness. This is a good first step, and I think he deserves a chance to be forgiven. I hope that a path to redemption can be made available to him by his community. The second guy can kick rocks
Forgiveness, yes. Forgetfulness, no. Accountability is required. Props to the dude for owning it. It sounds like he is paying the piper for his actions, as he should
its not even the same guy. it is dr jekyl and mr hyde. i am a COMPLETLY different person depreesed than manic. you wouldnt even think you were talking to the same person. it's hard to be accountable for things beyond your control
Awesome. Find some real marine vets to confront him. Black belt or not, you ain’t gonna do shit against 3 marine corps vets who are pissed off and have training themselves.
I think you can move forward but you do have to rebuild the trust. That takes time. But it all comes from you coming completely clean and acknowledging what you have done and asking forgiveness knowing some people wont. Then just keep you head up and keep doing the best you can.
Yea, mental illness is awful, and in his apology, you could hear it for real. I also have had extremely manic episodes, and it's the worst feeling when you come back to reality and realize how you acted / what you did. In the moment, it seems fun, but also irresistible to behave that way. I thought he was ill when I saw the first video. Keep us updated on him if updates happen.
Ol’ boy who came clean did the proper thing. I hope his journey is going well! And no, I don’t believe there should be forgiveness always. Some situations are just too serious. But he hurt no one, so he is good.
I do believe in forgiveness after ownership. Personally I have made a lot of mistakes in my life . I am a recovering addict and I have learned the only way to move forward is ownership of our wrongs and misdeeds. I have also learned that I can't demand forgiveness and have to give space for others to forgive when they are ready and I have to be willing to accept that some people may never forgive me. I still have to own my actions, make amends when possible and then keep doing the next right thing. As a person who has made mistakes and has changed my life around I think it's important to have space to allow others to regain their authenticity and integrity and move on to a better life when they admit their wrongs, make amends, seek forgiveness and make changes for the better.
I totally agree just before you said it I was thinking it that him writing that apology must have been one of the hardest things for him to do because of our pride our machismo and whatever else you want to add apologizing publicly is extremely difficult apologizing to just one person is extremely difficult so I hope that everything goes better for him and that he will be accepted again and be able to train and just you know live his life
While it is possible to forgive someone for their actions, it is not necessarily a requirement to maintain a relationship or association with them. It is important to prioritize one's own emotional well-being and make choices accordingly.
There should absolutely be forgiveness after ownership, especially if the incident was isolated and there is an honest attempt to avoid such behaviour in the future. That said, if the person repeats the actions again and again, one must question the sincerity of the apology.
There's definitely room for forgiveness once someone comes clean after getting caught in a series of lies. Making amends helps, but until it's proven one is going to remain clean, there's a short leash of trust
As a recovering alcoholic, I know personally from experience that, yes, a person can move forward after fucking up bad and admitting fault. The first part of that is actually taking responsibility and admitting it. It's not an easy thing to do, man, trust me. But it will only ever truly be over when the person has lost just enough for them to stop and say "enough is enough; I can't do this anymore." Once they get there, life gets so much fucking easier, because they're not having to carry around all that baggage anymore. Hearing that first guy's confession reminded me of being in a meeting, like I was sitting across from him hearing him share his experience, strength, and hope. Yeah, man. We can move forward.
Best video ever lol. You gave light to someone who knew they effed up and showed his apology. You also exposed a stolen valor recipient. The first dude clearly wasn’t stable mentally. The second dude just doesn’t believe in himself, to where he led himself into a life full of lies. You’d be surprised how many people would vibe with you if you just keep it real. No man is better than the next.
Forgiveness is absolutely an option. If someone is truly remorseful, forgiveness and reconciliation are incredibly powerful. I had my own nightmare experience with my sifu when studying martial arts for 10 years. He and I were friends, and I was his senior student. The dude was a legit sociopath, though, (oh the stories I've got). However, when confronting him on the day I left the school, I told him that if he ever wanted to seek forgiveness and reconciliation and come clean to the the rest of his students, I'd be right there next to him, supporting him.
Taking owners is a major step. I heard someone once said when you wrong someone, you have to through actions and words say you're sorry everyday until they tell you to stop. Then you have to apologize everyday for saying you're sorry for everyday. If you can understand that and take those steps you can be forgiven.
Q: Do you think that once someone admits fault they can be forgiven. That's a question that doesn't have a simple yes/no answer. It depends on: * The severity and type of transgression * Who was affected and how and to what degree * Whether then contrition is genuine, or the offender is admitting fault only because they were caught and held responsible for their action or inaction * The nature of the pre-existing relationship * Whether it's a one-time event, or a pattern exists * Whether genuine follow-through on the "penance" * Time
I think it depends on who it is and how genuine they are. Some people will just say things to try and get others off their back, like Danny. If they show genuine remorse for their faults and show that they're trying to improve, then I think forgiveness has been earned
I think admitting fault and owning it is only the first stage toward redemption. The next steps should be restoration and then prevention. We can't just identify that a problem exists, we also have to fix the problem and then take steps to prevent it reoccurring. And even that assumes that the first stage of admitting fault also comes with an apology to those wronged or harmed by it, but they aren't necessarily the same thing. So for me, the steps toward deserving forgiveness include Admitting fault, Apologising to the people harmed or wronged, Restoring or fixing the problem, Changing the attitude, habits, or behaviours that caused or allowed the problem, and take steps to Prevent re-occurrence of it. After all of that has happened, then the victims might start thinking about forgiveness.
yeah i believe forgiveness can be given at an individual level. forgiveness is not something i think helps to expect though. across the board when there is something i regret, first i accept i am wrong then change it. not only is forgiveness out of my hands but it shouldn't be the reason i change. a living amends is a powerful tool for a better path.
People who lie about martial arts or military service are awful, awful people and I always thought there was no redemption for them. But Eduardo really set himself on the right road. He did what he was supposed to do like a real man and the dude deserves a redemption arc. If we don't offer someone the possibility of change, then they never will bc there is no reason to. Good job, Ed. Takes a strong dude to do that.
We had a guy in Colorado do this years ago. No mental illness, not bipolar, just ego. Lots of people forgave him, but when people show you who they really are believe them.
Forgiveness is a choice you make. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with whether the other person apologises or not. It's about letting go of blame and resentment, and trying to understand the other person instead. What you're talking about is whether people deserve a second chance, which is a different question. I would say that if someone is honest about their mistake and you believe they're making a real effort to be better, then most people in most situations do deserve a second chance. We've all made mistakes ourselves and wanted another chance, so we owe it to other people to give them the same opportunity.
The first guy, tragic story. I hope he is better and continues to get help. Do not know much about it but as far as I know, medication is important for people that suffer from BPD. Provided he apologize also in person, I hope a BJJ gym somewhere is able to forgive and accept him. I think the community and growth there could help him.
Absolutely tho don't expect people to look at you differently until your actions prove your words , forgiveness is one thing but to rebuild the trust that was lost will take time and sincere intentional action consistently
The apologies are a start, their has to be action behind those apologies, it's not a let's wipe the slate clean and start over thing. It's an ' ok, I did wrong, I'll show you how I can be better. '
Admitting to ones fault deserves a some amount of forgiveness. Not full forgiveness but kept at a distance. The one at fault now has to work back up to be trusted, and admitting one's wrongs is the first step. The blue belt/brown belt guy just needs to put his blue belt on, be honest to the BJJ community from here on, and get back to training to be the best he can. I'm sure one day when he actually earns his brown, it will be a huge emotional drop for him. That would be a pretty cool moment.
That is two different questions you asked at the end. While I can forgive a person after they own it and apologize then as long as I know they are serous then (assuming they don’t reoffend). But when it comes to the public - The net does not forgive.
Forgiveness after owning something wrong? Absolutely. Depending on the wrong done and the context, forgiveness does not always mean forgetfulness. For making false claims online and then owning up to it? Yeah. Forgive, move on, and let's make things better.
guilt is the biggest punishment of them all and forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. that being said it dont matter weather the comunity forgives him. by coming clean you have the opportunity to forgive yourself and start fresh................bien trabajo Eduardo
AOTD: To me it depends on the situation. Acknowledging and apologizing are important steps to gaining back lost trust, whether with an individual or a community. But apologies always mean more when you act in repentance. It’s not “I’m sorry because I feel bad”. It’s, “I’m sorry because I made you feel bad. Here’s how I’d like to fix it.” Acknowledge, apologize, act
Those dog tags look like Vietnam era. Everyone wants to be a Marine :-) If I wasn’t a Marine I’d want to be one too. lol. Ran into a few fake Marines over the years. 3 questions that you can ask to find out he/she is a fake. 1. What Battalion were you in. What’s your Platoon number and what date did you graduate. 2nd Battalion, Platoon 2033 Lead Series, 9/10/1993. Shit you never forget. Love your channel! Makes me laugh
If the fault isn’t recurring then yes, absolutely. However, if the issues are repetitive then most likely not. I left my gym for that reason. Gave too many chances and had enough
Frick, I been stuck at Brown Belt longer than any belt. I also received Brown in 2019 right before Covid, so that out a damper on things, then last year the fires hit Lahaina which put a damper on things. My goal is to reach that elusive Black by the end of this year
I am black belt, and also retired from the US Armed Forces, both of these people are full of it, the first guy using mental health as a an excuse, is not cool.
There are actually a couple of high profile youtubers who claim rank and it looks a little weird. One claims a black belt yet doesn't seem to know much about BJJ and the other seemed to go from blue to brown just like our guy in the vid within a few months. I called one out on instagram and he got real defensive and could't say who promoted him.
I definitely believe that people can be forgiven when they owned up to their mistakes and admit their faults, however if they return to the same behavior that forgiveness can be taken away.
I know a purple belt locally who clearly did actually serve in the Military but continues to make a false claim that he was an Army Ranger Officer and had been an Army Ranger NCO before that serving in the very prestigious 75th Ranger Regiment. He even went as far as trying to show me a fake DD 214 in an FB message. Unfortunately, he deleted before I screen shot it when I let him know I was a former Army Officer and Enlisted Solider who could tell he was showing me a clear fake (I have 2 real one's myself - one for my period of Enlisted service and one for my period of Officer service). To follow up I contacted a retired Ranger Sergeant Major I know whom I served with in the Airborne Infantry during the surge in Iraq, and he checked with the Ranger Regiment folks directly. Yep, no record of any such guy. When I confronted him he made up a story about how he had become a conscientious objector and gotten discharged for it and was now ashamed. I made some calls and that never happened either. All that said, I would not care one way or the other except that the guy is known to tell folks his crazy claims to bolster his business dealings. Making false claims of serving in a prestigious unit to curry favor is not OK. (He might be a brown belt now - I don't know as I don't talk to him and he obviously blocked me on every platform). Anyhow, to get to your question ... if he would come clean I think he deserves forgiveness, especially if there is any history of mental illness as was claimed by the one gentleman you were talking about in this video.
@@jimiquin3412 Right..."Can you name some of the guys in your dojo??" "I got your DD-214 right here and it says you were only a Tae Kwon Do yellow belt?!?!?"
The extent that forgiveness is possible depends on the nature and severity of the offense. Lying, hurting someone's feelings, property crimes, time wasting? These are all things that can and should be forgiven if someone shows genuine remorse and makes a genuine attempt at contrition. Physical violence causing serious injury, any sort of sexual violence, any sort of abuse of the vulnerable (children, elders, students, employees, the disabled, etc), murder? There's nothing you can do to redeem yourself in my eyes.
I had a close friend ask me if their fairly new marriage could survive one of them being unfaithful, and without asking any questions about who, why, when, or anything, I told them that I feel like if it wasn’t something that happened a lot for a long time and they were actually, really apologetic for what they did and really wanted to make amends, then yes, I think if someone made a mistake, which we all do to varying degrees, and want to improve their relationship(s), behavior, mental health, whatever, they can do better. And, I think in these instances, if the BJJ practitioner really meant what he said about being better, then I think that he would deserve another chance, but it doesn’t seem like the second guy is there yet. He definitely doesn’t seem like he has any kind of remorse for his actions, so I wouldn’t trust him any further than my teenage son could throw him, but maybe he’ll eventually come around.
I’m a 4 stripe blue belt (as of 2 months ago) and received my blue belt about 3 1/2 years ago. I’m not even a great blue belt but in my experience, it’s usually 3-5 years of blue belt and about 3-4 at purple before getting your brown belt. To go for a no stipe blue to brown in 2 months seems like a load of crap. Even to go to purple in 2 months is virtually impossible. Did he know who you were Rob or did he just think you were someone asking in general?
I went to lurk on the Eduardo fellas IG and didn't see that post about him coming clean. Did he remove it or maybe it was for followers only? Hopefully dude is well and he can move forward.
Yes, I believe forgiveness for mistakes is possible if: (a) You sincerely ask for forgiveness and... (b) You endevor to not make the same mistake again
Eduardo is one of the kindest people I know. He has/was a huge support when my son was dying from cancer. He hung in there with us. I know he has had a tough time but you can see his integrity that once he had a diagnosis of BPD he owned what he had done in the manic phase of his illness.
That’s called concretization in psychology. It’s Defense mechanism, particularly used by pathological liars to avoid reality and the truth. Often characteristic of narcissists.
Story 1: I don't know enough about BPD. But if he does have BPD and now has help and sincerely wants to make amends, then this public apology is a start in the right direction. Story 2: I question his entire resume if he lied about previous jobs and being in the military. Are those other jobs and education listed real?
I believe if a person that does come clean should be forgiven. However, what he did should be remembered and monitored not for this behavior occurs again or is caught early and help is provided. We all have made mistakes and we should forgive just not forget.
I caught a video kinda early! I think forgiveness is a very complicated thing and depends entirely on the person/people that were wronged. I could forgive someone, and another person could not forgive them for the same wrongdoing. Conversely, i could do something wrong and never be forgiven by one person but forgiven by another.
Lessons: Unless there's a severe penalty for friends, loved ones and associates who screw you, then there's no reason for them to change. If they always get away with things or when they get caught, they only suffer very few consequences, then what is their incentive to change? They've already knowingly decided to break people's trust and to hurt those who trust and admire them. Therefore, doing the right thing alone was not enough incentive for these people. They're only inspired to change and become better when outside entities force them to change. Whenever I encounter people in my life who are like this, I tell them: "Good for you. I'm glad that you've finally seen the light, but I can't be part of your self improvement journey. Hopefully, one day, you'll learn to do the right thing, because that's just who you are as a person now and not because you figured out that other people wouldn't tolerate how you were. I wish you the best of luck."
I think that admitting fault is the first step for earning forgiveness, but not even close to the last. I also think that your reason for admitting fault should be a factor whrn considering forgiveness. If you admit fault with the expectation that you have something to gain from it thats like taking a plea deal to reduce your sentence. Plea deals are frustrating to me, because people like cosby shouldn't be allowed back on the street just cause they said sorry.
To answer your question; yes/no, IF they actually have accountability and change for the better, until they can show that--only then will most people accept their apology and forgive them completely
Admitting is definitely a huge part, it creates the pathway for forgiveness. However I don't think forgive ess is automatic after admission. There has to be a proven track record of the honest behavior before true forgiveness. Being sorry isn't just say I'm sorry
If a person can accept, admit and apologise for mistakes, they should be allowed to move forward. There are a thousand reasons for mental instability, and recovery is hard enough as it is for some, let alone moving on with life.
Thank you all for the continued support
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In his defense, haven't you ever lied on a resume? Lol
the only people worth forgiving are those who know they made a mistake and admits to those mistakes.
I think that you can be forgiven. Especially if you have BPD. My mom had BPD. She’s passed. But I forgave her. BPD is not easily treated and usually comes from childhood abuse.
Now, does that mean you can be the guy’s best friend? Maybe. But be prepared for more lies and potentially difficult situations in the future.
What I appreciate about this man's apology is that he uses his mental illness to explain his behavior without using it to excuse his behavior. He owns up to his mistakes, accepts the consequences, and asks what he can do to make it right. I think it's right to forgive him and give him a chance to redeem himself.
Respect for the man who owned up to his mistake. He should be forgiven. Just my opinion, but knowing that he’s bi-polar also makes me willing to give him a pass.
Bipolar or not is not an excuse.. But to me also, the way he handled it, the way he openly spoke/wrote about his f-up is completly enough to say he is a good guy, and wish him the best in getting his mental issues fixed..
WHICH IS WHY HE WILL CONTINUE TO DO IT... EVIL WILL USE YOUR HUMANITY AGAINST YOU BECAUSE THEY HAVE NONE...
WHEN I WAS A KID "BIPOLAR" WAS CALLED "THYROID PROBLEMS"....
@@maxpudlowski8820 HAHAHAHAH....YOU MIGHT WANNA LOOK A BIT DEEPER THAN THAT...YEAH WE ALL FUCK UP BUT NOT ALL OF US WILL TRY AND BLAME SOMEONE ELSE OR EVEN TRY TO EXPLAIN THE CONSEQUENCES AWAY WITH AN APOLOGY...IF THEY APOLOGIZE AND KEEP DOING IT THEN THEY ARE TRULY SORRY...
It matters to me. I am glad he admitted it. But as someone that earned a bronze star and purple heart in combat it really pisses me off for the men who died that served with me and the ones that committed suicide after. The sacrifice of combat isn't a game to me.
Having McDojoLife slide into your DMs has to feel like the cops are knocking at the door lmao
Party's over, big guy, you're about to get got
This comment deserves more 👍🏻
Having spent a lot of time talking to people with BPD, i feel for that first guy.(assuming that isn't a lie also) When left untreated and unacknowledged, it can really cause an entirely new personality to flourish, completely reinforced by the subject's own belief in everything they say. I've seen it devastate families. I hope he gets help and is sincere in his apology. Poor chap
I also wonder if doing MMA is a wise choice. Just curious how BPD and getting the brain rattled regularly may cause more issues in the future.
Bipolar or Borderline?
MY AUNT WAS TOLD SHE WAS BIPOLAR, BUT THAT WAS AFTER SHE FLOODED HER HOUSE WITH THE WATER HOSE. THEY SAID IT HAD BEEN MISDIAGNOSED AS A THYROID PROBLEM WHICH IS WHY SHE WAS FAT...I DONT BELIEVE ANY DISEASE EXISTS AS LONG AS IT IS PROFITABLE...BUT THEN AGAIN I DESPISE THE MONEY SCAM AND ALL WHO WORSHIP IT BECAUSE THEY ENSALVED YOU ALL WITH BULLSHIT LIKE THAT IN A PLOY TO CONTROL THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS IN AN EFFORT TO AVOID THEIR OWN, ONLY TO CAUSE THIER OWN...
@wissawissa83 I do not have bpd, but I have loved ones who have been diagnosed and who have had episodes, both manic and depressive. I don't want to diminish your experiences bc I'm sure how it manifests is different between individuals. However, I can tell you with absolute certainty that a good person CAN become an entirely different (and, frankly, bad) person while suffering through a manic episode. I've watched one of the most beautiful (inside and out) humans I've ever known turn into a destructive shadow of themself during an episode and, yes, episodes can last 6 months or longer if not properly treated. Ironically, in my experience people who are going through a manic episode are unlikely to recognize or accept it and are extremely resistant to getting the healthcare they need.
I don't know the man in this story, but everything he said is consistent with what I've experienced and I have a lot of empathy for him.
@@datjr IF YOU THINK YOU CAN ACTUALLY KNOW PEOPLE THEN YOU ARE A FOOL...
Man… I suffer from BPD and am a recovering addict. I can only hope there is forgiveness in my future because sometimes it’s like realizing you were literally someone else making completely different decisions sometimes. It’s rough. Ugh. Ya I feel for that guy and that for sure took balls.
youre not alone man--def a hard watch
stay strong, yo can do it.
All my love and respect to you 👊🏼
Been on the other side of it with people I love. The people who love you will still love you and care about you, and will understand that you're not 'you' during an episode. Bpd is one of the hardest medical issues I've ever seen, especially for the person going through it. Hang in there, friend.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m the guy in the video. I’m trying to recover and learn from my past.
As an actual Marine (happy to provide evidence privately) i applaud any effort to try to get help, but he has to take accountability for his actions…
Thank you for your services!
Spank you for your cervix.
As a U.S Army Cav Scout and your better, I applaud this comment. Hope you're sticking to the non toxic crayons.
It’s super easy with some basic questions and how people talk.
@Dempdawg11 the toxic ones hit way better tho. 🥴
Yes. I teach this to my students all the time. Owning your lies or failures or attitudes gets you clean slate, and respect. I teach college, not martial arts, but it’s amazing how many times students lie, cheats steal, and can be disrespectful. The lessons of honor transcend all disciplines.
Wise men say, forgiveness is divine...but never pay full price for late pizza.
Cowabunga, brother.
oh come on, i couldnt find the place!
There's always a path to redemption. But it can only begin with 100% honesty and accountability. Good job
Any apology that's coupled with self-victimization and demands for forgiveness is a manipulation tactic, not an apology. You can issue a mea culpa and ask how to resolve harm done without crying about people hating you or persecuting you. You can do better in the future. That's more important than forgiveness anyway.
I’m in HTX & teach at the gym. Seeing the effects on those around us when this happened makes forgiveness difficult, however allowing the negative energy to eat at us keeps us from moving forward. I’m happy to report the gym is thriving and has never been better. Forgive, never forget. Forgiveness doesn’t mean a relationship has to be renewed. We go our way, he goes his.
What gym
Owning your mistakes is the first step of change and becoming a better person. I applaud this man for publicly speaking.
As someone that earned a purple heart and bronze star in combat it really matters to me after losing many friends to combat and suicide. Thanks for calling him out. Go Army 💪
I don't believe in forgiveness merely for the sake of forgiveness. It seems to me that this has lead to many repeat offenses by those who were so easily forgiven, and the idea that you can do almost anything you want to someone and they are required to forgive you if you apologize seems to permeate modern society.
That being said, I believe that someone should be forgiven if they are truly remorseful and work hard to make amends for what they did. Obviously there are some infractions that conceivably cannot be amended, but most are not that heinous. In the case of the first guy, he has demonstrated a sincere apology to those he has wronged. He admitted fault and asks for forgiveness. This is a good first step, and I think he deserves a chance to be forgiven. I hope that a path to redemption can be made available to him by his community.
The second guy can kick rocks
"The mats don't lie."
I like that one.
Forgiveness, yes. Forgetfulness, no.
Accountability is required. Props to the dude for owning it. It sounds like he is paying the piper for his actions, as he should
its not even the same guy. it is dr jekyl and mr hyde. i am a COMPLETLY different person depreesed than manic. you wouldnt even think you were talking to the same person. it's hard to be accountable for things beyond your control
Danny has personally told me on several occasions that he served in the USMC. In person, face to face. He said i was a united States marine.
Awesome. Find some real marine vets to confront him. Black belt or not, you ain’t gonna do shit against 3 marine corps vets who are pissed off and have training themselves.
Where’s this guy teach at?
I think you can move forward but you do have to rebuild the trust. That takes time. But it all comes from you coming completely clean and acknowledging what you have done and asking forgiveness knowing some people wont. Then just keep you head up and keep doing the best you can.
Yea, mental illness is awful, and in his apology, you could hear it for real. I also have had extremely manic episodes, and it's the worst feeling when you come back to reality and realize how you acted / what you did. In the moment, it seems fun, but also irresistible to behave that way. I thought he was ill when I saw the first video. Keep us updated on him if updates happen.
I joke with my friends “Manic Dave showed up today.” lol
McDojo is become death. The final evolution man.
Absolutely forgive. Manic episodes can be so life changing and can happen to highly intelligent people.
mostly just bipolar people--has nothing to do with how smart you are. it's how your brain is built. you cant learn yourself out of it
Ol’ boy who came clean did the proper thing. I hope his journey is going well! And no, I don’t believe there should be forgiveness always. Some situations are just too serious. But he hurt no one, so he is good.
Awesome videos brother.
Thank you
I do believe in forgiveness after ownership. Personally I have made a lot of mistakes in my life . I am a recovering addict and I have learned the only way to move forward is ownership of our wrongs and misdeeds. I have also learned that I can't demand forgiveness and have to give space for others to forgive when they are ready and I have to be willing to accept that some people may never forgive me. I still have to own my actions, make amends when possible and then keep doing the next right thing. As a person who has made mistakes and has changed my life around I think it's important to have space to allow others to regain their authenticity and integrity and move on to a better life when they admit their wrongs, make amends, seek forgiveness and make changes for the better.
Great video! Can't wait to see part 2
Admission of wrongdoing is one of the first steps of forgiveness.
I totally agree just before you said it I was thinking it that him writing that apology must have been one of the hardest things for him to do because of our pride our machismo and whatever else you want to add apologizing publicly is extremely difficult apologizing to just one person is extremely difficult so I hope that everything goes better for him and that he will be accepted again and be able to train and just you know live his life
While it is possible to forgive someone for their actions, it is not necessarily a requirement to maintain a relationship or association with them. It is important to prioritize one's own emotional well-being and make choices accordingly.
There should absolutely be forgiveness after ownership, especially if the incident was isolated and there is an honest attempt to avoid such behaviour in the future.
That said, if the person repeats the actions again and again, one must question the sincerity of the apology.
Love the channel! And that outro song is a banger! 🕺🔥🙌🏽✊🏽
Thank you for the support
There's definitely room for forgiveness once someone comes clean after getting caught in a series of lies. Making amends helps, but until it's proven one is going to remain clean, there's a short leash of trust
As a recovering alcoholic, I know personally from experience that, yes, a person can move forward after fucking up bad and admitting fault. The first part of that is actually taking responsibility and admitting it. It's not an easy thing to do, man, trust me. But it will only ever truly be over when the person has lost just enough for them to stop and say "enough is enough; I can't do this anymore." Once they get there, life gets so much fucking easier, because they're not having to carry around all that baggage anymore. Hearing that first guy's confession reminded me of being in a meeting, like I was sitting across from him hearing him share his experience, strength, and hope. Yeah, man. We can move forward.
Best video ever lol. You gave light to someone who knew they effed up and showed his apology. You also exposed a stolen valor recipient. The first dude clearly wasn’t stable mentally. The second dude just doesn’t believe in himself, to where he led himself into a life full of lies. You’d be surprised how many people would vibe with you if you just keep it real. No man is better than the next.
Forgiveness is absolutely an option. If someone is truly remorseful, forgiveness and reconciliation are incredibly powerful. I had my own nightmare experience with my sifu when studying martial arts for 10 years. He and I were friends, and I was his senior student. The dude was a legit sociopath, though, (oh the stories I've got). However, when confronting him on the day I left the school, I told him that if he ever wanted to seek forgiveness and reconciliation and come clean to the the rest of his students, I'd be right there next to him, supporting him.
Now i cant get your theme song outta my head. Thanks a lot!
Taking owners is a major step. I heard someone once said when you wrong someone, you have to through actions and words say you're sorry everyday until they tell you to stop. Then you have to apologize everyday for saying you're sorry for everyday. If you can understand that and take those steps you can be forgiven.
Q: Do you think that once someone admits fault they can be forgiven.
That's a question that doesn't have a simple yes/no answer. It depends on:
* The severity and type of transgression
* Who was affected and how and to what degree
* Whether then contrition is genuine, or the offender is admitting fault only because they were caught and held responsible for their action or inaction
* The nature of the pre-existing relationship
* Whether it's a one-time event, or a pattern exists
* Whether genuine follow-through on the "penance"
* Time
If your honest you will overcome any obstacles.
Yes honesty will set you free good video...
I think it depends on who it is and how genuine they are. Some people will just say things to try and get others off their back, like Danny. If they show genuine remorse for their faults and show that they're trying to improve, then I think forgiveness has been earned
You are doing gods work. Keep it up brotha man 🤙🏻
I think admitting fault and owning it is only the first stage toward redemption. The next steps should be restoration and then prevention. We can't just identify that a problem exists, we also have to fix the problem and then take steps to prevent it reoccurring. And even that assumes that the first stage of admitting fault also comes with an apology to those wronged or harmed by it, but they aren't necessarily the same thing. So for me, the steps toward deserving forgiveness include Admitting fault, Apologising to the people harmed or wronged, Restoring or fixing the problem, Changing the attitude, habits, or behaviours that caused or allowed the problem, and take steps to Prevent re-occurrence of it. After all of that has happened, then the victims might start thinking about forgiveness.
By the way, do you take recommendations on people to look into? We have one in the Houston area who is pretty questionable.
For sure. Would depend on what it is
I tried posting a link to his website, I'm not sure if it's going through.@@McDojoLife
yeah i believe forgiveness can be given at an individual level. forgiveness is not something i think helps to expect though. across the board when there is something i regret, first i accept i am wrong then change it. not only is forgiveness out of my hands but it shouldn't be the reason i change. a living amends is a powerful tool for a better path.
People who lie about martial arts or military service are awful, awful people and I always thought there was no redemption for them. But Eduardo really set himself on the right road. He did what he was supposed to do like a real man and the dude deserves a redemption arc. If we don't offer someone the possibility of change, then they never will bc there is no reason to. Good job, Ed. Takes a strong dude to do that.
Great job, bro! It was also great meeting you at Shot Show!
We had a guy in Colorado do this years ago. No mental illness, not bipolar, just ego. Lots of people forgave him, but when people show you who they really are believe them.
Forgiveness is a choice you make. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with whether the other person apologises or not. It's about letting go of blame and resentment, and trying to understand the other person instead. What you're talking about is whether people deserve a second chance, which is a different question. I would say that if someone is honest about their mistake and you believe they're making a real effort to be better, then most people in most situations do deserve a second chance. We've all made mistakes ourselves and wanted another chance, so we owe it to other people to give them the same opportunity.
The first guy, tragic story. I hope he is better and continues to get help. Do not know much about it but as far as I know, medication is important for people that suffer from BPD.
Provided he apologize also in person, I hope a BJJ gym somewhere is able to forgive and accept him. I think the community and growth there could help him.
Absolutely tho don't expect people to look at you differently until your actions prove your words , forgiveness is one thing but to rebuild the trust that was lost will take time and sincere intentional action consistently
The apologies are a start, their has to be action behind those apologies, it's not a let's wipe the slate clean and start over thing. It's an ' ok, I did wrong, I'll show you how I can be better. '
Admitting to ones fault deserves a some amount of forgiveness. Not full forgiveness but kept at a distance. The one at fault now has to work back up to be trusted, and admitting one's wrongs is the first step. The blue belt/brown belt guy just needs to put his blue belt on, be honest to the BJJ community from here on, and get back to training to be the best he can. I'm sure one day when he actually earns his brown, it will be a huge emotional drop for him. That would be a pretty cool moment.
That is two different questions you asked at the end.
While I can forgive a person after they own it and apologize then as long as I know they are serous then (assuming they don’t reoffend).
But when it comes to the public - The net does not forgive.
If the guys bipolar, he will reoffend, but it’s not his fault. BPD is a heavy burden
Forgiveness after owning something wrong? Absolutely. Depending on the wrong done and the context, forgiveness does not always mean forgetfulness. For making false claims online and then owning up to it? Yeah. Forgive, move on, and let's make things better.
guilt is the biggest punishment of them all and forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. that being said it dont matter weather the comunity forgives him. by coming clean you have the opportunity to forgive yourself and start fresh................bien trabajo Eduardo
I just love & appreciate what u do.... Sincerely! And thank u for putting some attention on the real troops! Thank You!!
AOTD: To me it depends on the situation. Acknowledging and apologizing are important steps to gaining back lost trust, whether with an individual or a community. But apologies always mean more when you act in repentance. It’s not “I’m sorry because I feel bad”. It’s, “I’m sorry because I made you feel bad. Here’s how I’d like to fix it.” Acknowledge, apologize, act
I hope the best for the guy that came clean. It takes courage to do that.
Those dog tags look like Vietnam era. Everyone wants to be a Marine :-)
If I wasn’t a Marine I’d want to be one too. lol.
Ran into a few fake Marines over the years. 3 questions that you can ask to find out he/she is a fake. 1. What Battalion were you in. What’s your Platoon number and what date did you graduate.
2nd Battalion, Platoon 2033 Lead Series, 9/10/1993.
Shit you never forget.
Love your channel! Makes me laugh
We all fuck up. I respect the apology and taking responsibility. He will be a better man for it. Good on you
If the fault isn’t recurring then yes, absolutely. However, if the issues are repetitive then most likely not. I left my gym for that reason. Gave too many chances and had enough
Frick, I been stuck at Brown Belt longer than any belt.
I also received Brown in 2019 right before Covid, so that out a damper on things, then last year the fires hit Lahaina which put a damper on things.
My goal is to reach that elusive Black by the end of this year
I will yes. We all make mistakes. Just work hard to keep it clean and honest. Integrity is the word.
There is always room for forgiveness if the person is sincere. You definitely lose face for a while, but that can be overcome!
I am black belt, and also retired from the US Armed Forces, both of these people are full of it, the first guy using mental health as a an excuse, is not cool.
There are actually a couple of high profile youtubers who claim rank and it looks a little weird. One claims a black belt yet doesn't seem to know much about BJJ and the other seemed to go from blue to brown just like our guy in the vid within a few months. I called one out on instagram and he got real defensive and could't say who promoted him.
I definitely believe that people can be forgiven when they owned up to their mistakes and admit their faults, however if they return to the same behavior that forgiveness can be taken away.
Wow, it must have been really hard to own up to that, I hope he will manage his mental health with success from now on.
Admitting fault isn't enough. Change needs to be demonstrated with actions, so that trust can be rebuilt.
I know a purple belt locally who clearly did actually serve in the Military but continues to make a false claim that he was an Army Ranger Officer and had been an Army Ranger NCO before that serving in the very prestigious 75th Ranger Regiment. He even went as far as trying to show me a fake DD 214 in an FB message. Unfortunately, he deleted before I screen shot it when I let him know I was a former Army Officer and Enlisted Solider who could tell he was showing me a clear fake (I have 2 real one's myself - one for my period of Enlisted service and one for my period of Officer service). To follow up I contacted a retired Ranger Sergeant Major I know whom I served with in the Airborne Infantry during the surge in Iraq, and he checked with the Ranger Regiment folks directly. Yep, no record of any such guy. When I confronted him he made up a story about how he had become a conscientious objector and gotten discharged for it and was now ashamed. I made some calls and that never happened either. All that said, I would not care one way or the other except that the guy is known to tell folks his crazy claims to bolster his business dealings. Making false claims of serving in a prestigious unit to curry favor is not OK. (He might be a brown belt now - I don't know as I don't talk to him and he obviously blocked me on every platform). Anyhow, to get to your question ... if he would come clean I think he deserves forgiveness, especially if there is any history of mental illness as was claimed by the one gentleman you were talking about in this video.
It's one thing to own up to a mistake, the question is will the individual actually make a meaningful change. Actions speak louder than words
You are the Don Shipley of martial arts.
Well done.
Look him up if you don't know him.
Get Don on the phone, “So what was your buds class?” 🤣🤣
@@jimiquin3412 Right..."Can you name some of the guys in your dojo??"
"I got your DD-214 right here and it says you were only a Tae Kwon Do yellow belt?!?!?"
Not a mistake. A bad choice. A mistake is not carrying the 2.
its not something he can control--nobody wants to be bipolar.
Yes, I believe so. However, forgiveness depends on the person who was wronged. If they choose not to forgive the offender, that's their right.
The extent that forgiveness is possible depends on the nature and severity of the offense. Lying, hurting someone's feelings, property crimes, time wasting? These are all things that can and should be forgiven if someone shows genuine remorse and makes a genuine attempt at contrition. Physical violence causing serious injury, any sort of sexual violence, any sort of abuse of the vulnerable (children, elders, students, employees, the disabled, etc), murder? There's nothing you can do to redeem yourself in my eyes.
Props to the guy who apologized. Respect.
I had a close friend ask me if their fairly new marriage could survive one of them being unfaithful, and without asking any questions about who, why, when, or anything, I told them that I feel like if it wasn’t something that happened a lot for a long time and they were actually, really apologetic for what they did and really wanted to make amends, then yes, I think if someone made a mistake, which we all do to varying degrees, and want to improve their relationship(s), behavior, mental health, whatever, they can do better. And, I think in these instances, if the BJJ practitioner really meant what he said about being better, then I think that he would deserve another chance, but it doesn’t seem like the second guy is there yet. He definitely doesn’t seem like he has any kind of remorse for his actions, so I wouldn’t trust him any further than my teenage son could throw him, but maybe he’ll eventually come around.
I’m a 4 stripe blue belt (as of 2 months ago) and received my blue belt about 3 1/2 years ago. I’m not even a great blue belt but in my experience, it’s usually 3-5 years of blue belt and about 3-4 at purple before getting your brown belt. To go for a no stipe blue to brown in 2 months seems like a load of crap. Even to go to purple in 2 months is virtually impossible. Did he know who you were Rob or did he just think you were someone asking in general?
I went to lurk on the Eduardo fellas IG and didn't see that post about him coming clean. Did he remove it or maybe it was for followers only? Hopefully dude is well and he can move forward.
Yes, I believe forgiveness for mistakes is possible if:
(a) You sincerely ask for forgiveness and...
(b) You endevor to not make the same mistake again
Eduardo is one of the kindest people I know. He has/was a huge support when my son was dying from cancer. He hung in there with us. I know he has had a tough time but you can see his integrity that once he had a diagnosis of BPD he owned what he had done in the manic phase of his illness.
That’s called concretization in psychology. It’s Defense mechanism, particularly used by pathological liars to avoid reality and the truth. Often characteristic of narcissists.
Story 1: I don't know enough about BPD. But if he does have BPD and now has help and sincerely wants to make amends, then this public apology is a start in the right direction.
Story 2: I question his entire resume if he lied about previous jobs and being in the military. Are those other jobs and education listed real?
Respect can only be got by their actions. If they show that they are sorry and keep trying to fix it. Then yes, but it still takes time.
I feel like going to a brown belt from where I am now would only end up in my embarrassment as I eat the mat in 0.5s vs my "peers".
Putting your BJJ experience on a resume is wild.
God bless you brother, fighting the good fight
Its easier to forgive and move on with someone who apologises earnestly. Hopefully to guy gets some help and can get back to training at some point.
I believe if a person that does come clean should be forgiven. However, what he did should be remembered and monitored not for this behavior occurs again or is caught early and help is provided. We all have made mistakes and we should forgive just not forget.
I caught a video kinda early!
I think forgiveness is a very complicated thing and depends entirely on the person/people that were wronged. I could forgive someone, and another person could not forgive them for the same wrongdoing. Conversely, i could do something wrong and never be forgiven by one person but forgiven by another.
I want to see you and Don Shipley do a Stolen Valor team up 🤣🤣🤣
Lessons: Unless there's a severe penalty for friends, loved ones and associates who screw you, then there's no reason for them to change.
If they always get away with things or when they get caught, they only suffer very few consequences, then what is their incentive to change?
They've already knowingly decided to break people's trust and to hurt those who trust and admire them. Therefore, doing the right thing alone was not enough incentive for these people. They're only inspired to change and become better when outside entities force them to change.
Whenever I encounter people in my life who are like this, I tell them: "Good for you. I'm glad that you've finally seen the light, but I can't be part of your self improvement journey. Hopefully, one day, you'll learn to do the right thing, because that's just who you are as a person now and not because you figured out that other people wouldn't tolerate how you were. I wish you the best of luck."
About forgiveness I think it also depends on how the offending party makes amends and tries to rectify any wrongdoing
Yes. Forgiven, but not forgotten.
I think that admitting fault is the first step for earning forgiveness, but not even close to the last. I also think that your reason for admitting fault should be a factor whrn considering forgiveness. If you admit fault with the expectation that you have something to gain from it thats like taking a plea deal to reduce your sentence. Plea deals are frustrating to me, because people like cosby shouldn't be allowed back on the street just cause they said sorry.
Forgiveness is possible. Respect, though, has to be earned. If wants a purple or a brown, he’ll need to do more than what is adequate.
Yeah man! Forgiveness is not popular, but is still a real thing! Second chances are important! Dude will earn that brown one day for real!
you know what? He won me over!! well done, we've all said dumb shit, good for him!!! I'd train with him anytime!
To answer your question; yes/no, IF they actually have accountability and change for the better, until they can show that--only then will most people accept their apology and forgive them completely
Admitting is definitely a huge part, it creates the pathway for forgiveness. However I don't think forgive ess is automatic after admission. There has to be a proven track record of the honest behavior before true forgiveness. Being sorry isn't just say I'm sorry
If a person can accept, admit and apologise for mistakes, they should be allowed to move forward. There are a thousand reasons for mental instability, and recovery is hard enough as it is for some, let alone moving on with life.