I don't see how do many don't understand this. This is a form of grooming. Abusers are very good at picking victims, learning their vulnerabilities and shaking their confidence, separating them from support networks line friends and family, shaming them, and using drugs alcohol and money to control them. If this was a child there would be no question, he's using the boyfriend model.
WTF,.... Many Women I Know ,-are already Top Class Experts at Coercive Control over their Boyfriends and Husbands. Now these same Women want more Coercive Control on their Boyfriends and Husbands . Don't get involved Because Female Supremacy is real ,- and Complete .
Yeah but its deliberate. Its just like in prison, if someone gives a chocolate bar you now need to come up with that chocolate bar and a bar of soap and a pack of cigarettes. Its your fault.
People see how manipulative it is from this simplistic video example, and people don't know the law. This as they never had anybody that told them, who reads a law book? Nobody!!! In reality people have been in semi similar situations as well, which makes it seem normal. They grew up with parents like this or had a partner like this. A boyfriend / girlfriend using verbal abuse and blaming them for everything. But maybe not going as far as sabotaging job interviews, taking bank control or smashing things. Reality is often more grey.
Persuading your partner to claim bankruptcy and have the mortgage on your name is also very tactful and can be used to control a persons behaviour. Whenever they don’t do what you want, you can threaten to kick them out. Smashing their work laptop and phone may lead to losing job and friends. Isolating them and making them financially dependent on you means you have a lot of power over this person and can strip them of their identity an independence. That in itself is a trap. That in itself is abuse.
no one can fix your stupidity , don't say yes to " bankruptcy " or "mortgage " if you didn't trust the person ** coercive control is a made up bullshit ** if your man wanted you to stop going places like bars clubs ... or talking to other men YOU CAN BE A SANE HUMAN BEING AND DUMB HIM , this is just a dumb way for the government to get access to control people's life is and there home TO MAKE LAWS TO CONTROL WHAT YOU SHOULD THINK AND FEEL you will have to be weak minded to fall for manipulation no one can force you to do anything without a threat , she say yes to all of it SHE SEES WHATS HAPPENING TO HER AND SHES FINE WITH ALL OF IT and no she have friends or go to riddet or women shelters to hide , it shouldn't be a crime bec the man in the video have reasons for doing this and it might not be evil just misunderstood , your letting the government tell you how to behave . it's only a crime when he lies or sabotage her and make a verbal threat AND THOSE STUFF ARE ALREADY ILLEGAL TO DO if the girl is scared of her partner thinking that his power over her mean he going to abuse her if she said no thats her own fault there are ways to deal with it ,** it's your responsibility to pick the right partner AND NOT MAKE A LAW THAT FORCES ALL MEN TO BECOME THE RIGHT PARTNER FOR YOU , mark my words soon it will be illegal to not help clean the dishes**
Oh you’ve met my ex husband! Although he didn’t claim bankruptcy he did give up his job, leaving me to pay all the bills and mortgage … and he said he hadn’t earned any money, even though he was self employed. He’d literally earned £250k a year and just banked it, all the while giving me £500 a month towards the children, bills and mortgage. I only found out about this after the divorce. Add to that violent outbursts, using online porn and seeing other women behind my back … I was exhausted from taking care of everything, working and all the childcare, I couldn’t see what was happening. The law against coercive control came against me … keep detailed diaries of your lives if you think this might be you.
Abuse is insidious, you don't need to blame yourself. The abuser is the one to blame. Hindsight is 20/20 and we aren't taught about healthy relationships in school. I hope you can find healing 💖
Don't loathe yourself. If anything loathe the abuse, the behavior. Love yourself and love/ admire those who treat others with respect. Love goes in hand with respect.
Yeah but good luck explaining that you deliberately lost your job and are using a man to rebound off of because you arent humble enough to admit that youre wrong.
So triggering. I got to the point where I wouldn't mention having an interview, was bashed night before an interview. I still went in defiance. I said at the time "I'm still going to that interview". Of course i didn't get the job. A job connects you to people. Even though money is an ever present stress they don't really want you to work.
My husband would make me late. When I was ready to walk and take the bus. He would say no let me give you a ride and make me late. Or not help me out with the kids. Or say that I looked horrible how I dressed. Call me at work when are you leaving interrupting me constantly. We are older now and he is so much calmer.
The fact that it's still not considered as serious if there hasn't been physical violence yet is part of the issue. As if psychological abuse isn't enough and yet, so many people are incapacitated by all the subtle forms of control and abuse that go on. Half the battle is dealing with someone who gaslights on a much deeper level than is depicted here in this film, to the point where when the victim tries to tell an outsider, it's seem unbelievable - which further wears away at a person's ability to trust their own experience and erodes their sense of self-worth. Not to mention all the image perception management the abuser does to the outside world.
He is very controlling and knows how to manipulate her to the point he has just about every part of her life at his mercy. The trouble is this often escalates to the point it becomes physical. She is trapped.
It cant be because it requires both parties to participate in the abuse. She willingly losing her job is irresponsible and for this man to care for her without being properly adjusted is also flawed. If one gets in trouble the other one should be liable as well.
So is it coercive control if the partner is deliberately trying to sabotage you? My wife won't respect my night shifts. I work full time nights and sometimes she will come home so late that I have to speed to work and get in at the last minute or be late. They have threatened to give me a warning letter. Basically, our son is 3 and she won't come home a bit earlier from the office (she has flexible evening hours in her real estate job) OR she will do stuff like force me to change our son's nappy when I'm about to leave for work (I place a nappy on him before bed time). I say force because she will literally come and stand in front of the car or drop our son off at the car and go inside which forces me to go inside with him and change his nappy. I tried to talk to the boss but of course management only care about you coming to your job and to sort out your personal problems in your own time.
Many wives and girlfriends are coercive and controlling. In fact, it is the go to method of abuse in abusive women. Good luck in trying to get the courts and police to recognise this though. Society is so brainwashed to find fault in everything men do and excuse even the most loathsome of behaviours in women.
@@JaneA544 Look at the individual cases that have passed through the UK courts. It took a serious GBH, burning with boiling water and seriously severing her boyfriends hand before a woman was even brought to justice under coercive and controlling behaviour legislation. Look at the countless research papers done on this too. A good example is the University of Cumbria study in 2014 which found that women used more significant violence than men and were more controlling and coercive than men. The research team was entirely female.
Women never abuse men or if they do it is always his fault. Even in lesbian relationships, when one female abuses the other - it is his fault - because, you know, Patriarchy!
@@hello8987 Be kind. Men do get abused by women. And women get abused by women too, being a survivor. We do need to talk about women abusiving others too.
I just got out of a relationship extremely similar to this and all I can say is that you cannot see it from the inside only the outside And it’s very very hard for other people to notice what is really going on
Just watching this triggers me so much, I'm 6 months out of a relationship similar myself also and I did not recognise it at all until after it is so terrifying
Absolutely disgusted with the people who cant see abuse in this!! And mortified as a glaswegian to be represented by the Scottish girl on this program!!!
If he says i need you to contribute and wants her to get a job why would he deliberetly set her up for failuire? This was more stress becoming into domestic abuse if he got angry again.
Exactly he needs to make her choose. Either you get another job or get out. Its his fault for not being honest but its her responsibility to be autonomous.
I feel sadly most men are like this, or become like this in a certain point in life, especially when the wife is trapped, or commitmented. Sadly it's best to stay single for mental health.
Most men arent honest and that escalates into this situation. His anger is valid because shes irresponsible but its his fault because he needs to tell her to either find another job or leave. These are adults we are talking about.
@@jjacob3872 He is one of those toxic "men's rights activists" that believe that women are inferior and blames everything on women and that men have no faults. He is basically blaming this women for being abused because in his eyes she is responsible for being abused.
you will have to be weak minded to fall for manipulation no one can force you to do anything without a threat , she say yes to all of it SHE SEES WHATS HAPPENING TO HER AND SHES FINE WITH ALL OF IT and no she have friends or go to riddet or women shelters to hide , it shouldn't be a crime bec the man in the video have reasons for doing this and it might not be evil just misunderstood , your letting the government tell you how to behave . it's only a crime when he lies or sabotage her and make a verbal threat AND THOSE STUFF ARE ALREADY ILLEGAL TO DO if the girl is scared of her partner thinking that his power over her mean he going to abuse her if she said no thats her own fault there are ways to deal with it ,** it's your responsibility to pick the right partner AND NOT MAKE A LAW THAT FORCES ALL MEN TO BECOME THE RIGHT PARTNER FOR YOU , mark my words soon it will be illegal to not help clean the dishes**
when i was 21 i used to in an abusive relationship for 2 years .He was 12 years older than me .Because i never had a boyfriend and i had no experience every time i said i dont like a behavior he used to tell me " how do you know im hurting you? You never had a boyfriend before to know how relationships work .I'm the experienced one and this is how it is " I was very scared as i was studying in his county and he used to blackmail me to be with him and that his father worked in the police department and he can make sure i will have problems if i leave him .. I was lucky because i took advantage of the situation with brexit to go back in my country..( i was in uk) Im 32 now and im still single because im afraid to be abused again .I can't get over my trust issues because it was my first and only relationship .I don't want to go through it again. I have been through therapy but it seems I'm not strong enough.
As a woman, I have experienced a huge amount of coercive abuse from women. The latest woman who is abusing me is a manager of a Sheltered Housing Unit, she ignores complaints and when you want to write to the Trustees, she said 'oh send an email me, the manager, even when we are complaining about her. I stand by men getting emotional, financial abuse. Women can certainly do it a lot too. I had one toxic woman in the workplace and kept a secret diary of her behaviour and a year later, I won my case. You need to get evidence.
I am in recovery mode after this type or abuse. It is a serious abuse.. It is a CRIME. Stole my happiness, joy, peace, the old me, my identity, my son's mom. Stole his homeschooling... ... We need about 2.5 years to completely recover God willing.
I am in a situation where I don't even understand what kind of abuse this person is doing. I lost my speech due to bullying from work due to aphasia I trusted a friend she read all my mental health stuff she advocated for me previously she wanted a romantic relationship and I didn't want that we had time apart and I thought she was OK I ended up being made redundant medically but prior to this the lady in question she got given notice for eviction only because landlord wanted to sell she is reliant on government payments and she worked for DWP she has wealthy family so her Mom brought her a house out right but because she is on government payments she asked me if I'd move in as a tenant I had no trouble where I lived but I was frightened about what my future looked like I had never been made redundant so obviously I jumped at the chance of things being different I started to stay over hers just to get use to other company she started dressing more inappropriately we done alot of things together she kept saying in front of people we are like an old married couple and I shrugged it off a lot I helped her find a house she had a friend who is a police intelligence officer and she often asked her to check on certain things which was wrong so they had a bond really I started to get locked in this house doors at first I had to tell my swimming buddy to wait so I could phone her to come back to unlock the door that was first person to witness what she done I had support from other official places and my swimming buddy kept asking if I was OK I didn't understand why but I did ask them to watch over me and expressed concerns in other places even the plumber that came to fit the bath she locked both of us in and he needed to get out to do his job one night she locked my bed room key and I had enough I told her open the window or I break it open I must sleep with something open she telephoned the police intelligence officer because at one point she said she had the same windows and keys when she arrived my friend who I might add is a woman she put on the water works the police intelligence officer escorted her downstairs and I just remained where I was and I told her my window was different to everyone else in the house that key would be separate we went around the entire house searching no sign so the police intelligence officer came round to help me take the handle off I said to her I don't think I am safe here and said tomorrow I am leaving next day 8 was suppose to meet and have help changing my documents to state new address I was that frantic I had started packing boxes I had told the lady to scrap that type of meeting and I went and told her what had been happening I said I need to get my stuff but don't trust I am safe in the house because the way she span things around and started crying I got my stuff and I was safe this person helped convince me to spend £10,500 on stuff for a house I did it because I thought she was doing me a big thing and how could I repay someone who was helping me she poisoned all my friends because she was the woman she isolated me. I've seen her on and off in passing in high Street and I have no insentive to want to try talk with her I stopped going where she was finding me I started getting better doing well trusting people and yesterday she came into my church and at the end pulled one lady aside and done the water works I think it's happening again I have autism, aphasia and host of other things I don't know what to do about this person.
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It's funny how it's called "Men and Women discuss" yet in not a single moment did you hear what the lads had to say. Also, the video example only shows the coercive control as a pattern men can do and there are no examples of female-on-male coercive control. This video, while informative on the topic, is nonetheless biased
its not biased ; its representative . its true abuse happens to men and its equally as awful , but the majority of domestic abuse occurs towards women ; one woman in the uk dies every two weeks from it . this has the same principle as if the video was based on police brutality and the main character was black ; its not biased , its realistic - more police brutality DOES happen to ethnic minorities , the same way more abuse occurs towards women - this isnt a political statement , this is statistical information .
@Onion Potato literally no one says that . idk who youve been redpilled by i can assure you no woman says that about the homeless . we may say not to forget womens ISSUES in terms of being homeless - do you know how awful it is to not have pads at your disposal to bleed on every month ????? at least 97% of all uk females have been sexually harrassed , and at least one in four women have been sexually assaulted (more than just catcalling !!!!) there are real issues both women and men face in homelessness , and due to beta bias people assume a homeless mans problems encompasses all problems . please google beta bias
I would think that in 2021, it is a universal issue. If women can do all the things that a man can, they are more likely to be perpetrators. The way forward is taking responsibility, accepting consequences, in every individual, to be better than before. Services need to be better, raising awareness and society as a whole.
I agree it's an offence but many lawyers won't defend the victim because there's not enough evidence. Or it can cost a fortune for little chance to win. Even the system doesn't understand it. As a matter of facts i have seen quite a few women putting themselves in a more vulnerable place after trying to fight for their freedom because there was not enough evidence. And very often the perpetuator continues the abuse, and take more advantage when they have children with their victims.
I’ve been looking into this ever since someone said, my girlfriend might be coercive control, blame me because frequently she’ll hit me in the nuts or hurt me when were roughhousing or playing and when she’s hurt me, she starts crying and I’m there to comfort her because my physical pain means nothing to her and also if I want to dress a certain way she says no and if I say that’s what I like I want to dress like that he says, whatever like she’s a mean girl in every teen movie I want to leave but I’m afraid and I don’t know how
Sorry to hear about that. You need peaceful place of your own to think quietly and not disturbed by her. Try to move to another place that she doesn’t know. Move your things slowly without telling her or anyone. As if you tell even your friends, she will try to manipulate by saying like how she worries about you, bla bla bla. Then one day, just move out quietly without telling her. Before that time, try to record her behaviour. If she try to meet you, don’t meet at your place or her place. Meet in public far away from your place not to be able to follow you. If she keeps calling and harassing from phone, record those for evidence. Think about Amber Heard
So if I'm in a relationship and my partner wants to go somewhere. I don't want them to go or cross a boundary And I say if you go I will leave you? And she is in fear I will leave her so she doesn't go..is that coercive control..oh no I have gone cross eyed
@@Neko.Virtual somwhere you don't want them to go to be specific.. maybe you had a talk or a boundry and they a covert narcisst and your not aware of what a narc is ..maybe they deserve to find a bigger narc
My dad was regularly abused by my mother in much the same way as this. She was out of control. I find it sick that the mainstream sees it in only one direction: men bad, women good. I actually think the opposite is as common and possibly more common. The number of abusive women I've seen with friends is counter this narrow view promulgated by videos like this.
I think this is a bad representation especially that this is a tactic employed almost universally by female perpetrators. In terms of nagging belittling men's capabilities or trying to alienate him from his children and friends.
Idk why everyone is saying “what if it happens to men?” The issue of men being the abuser is that they are typically stronger than a female. A man can kill a woman with their bare hands a female cannot “beat” a man and him end up dead. That’s the issue. When a man is physically abused and it comes down the the wire they can fight a female off and live. That is not the case for most female abuse. So please stop with that. The reason a man might be a victim is because they morally do not want to hit a woman, but if it was life/death then they would!
it could be difference but it doesn't it is right and men and women cannot talk about abuse by women. As a woman I have had a women attempt to hit me in the workplace.. and I would I say I won my case. Controlllng behaviour restricts a person's rights. We must talk about abuse by women too to women and men.
@@beaulieuonnp593 yes you can hit a female and win your case. what i am saying is that men vs women is not an thing. the reason is that if it comes down to life and death a man can punch a woman or push off a female that has no other weapons and just using her hands/body. a female, in most cases of this level of abuse/violence, can not just simply push off a male especially in a life/death situation. life/death situation is a man is on top of you beating and punching , kicking you (a female). a man can 100% push off a female if his life is at risk. I've been in "fights" with a male and a female and as a woman myself i would not want to take a hit from a man
@@Neko.Virtual Not if he's fighting back properly she can't, the average woman will not win in a fight against the average man. As a woman it does hurt my pride to admit that but at the end of the day it's the cold hard truth, pretending otherwise could get you killed.
I’d definitely say this is a level of coercive control but I also can’t help feeling that if the roles were reversed (female in control) that this wouldn’t be recognised as anything at all an would be classed as a normal relationship…both need change
Maybe, but these things are given more attention than they were. I note that men are often an abusive problem, in the lives of other men too, and I mean in platonic relations.
Literally it would be classed the same. If a woman smashed plates and got in her partners’ face that would be considered a threat. If she isolated him from friends, verbally abused him and gain control over his activities, yes it would all be part of a pattern of abuse.
@@hannahsmith4007 I hope so but the anecdotal experiences I've come across don't bare witness to it. I'd certainly be appreciative to hear if you have come across any women convicted of this sort of crime? As it would help to balance my view
I bought a top at charity shop because I bought it without telling him he cut it up smashed up my speaker box new year's eve then hit me in back of can .hit me the other night for saying I loved his family and tonight because I went to see neighbour pulled my hair threw his phone at my head then threatend to beat me for crying
My relationship is fixed Back again my Ex is back to me we loving and living happily together I got help from a great seer who brought us back together ☝️
Help⛓️Could somebody please mention the Australian woman's Summit? I'm told women's voices will be heard, but I've not seen one update about it since Anna first mentioned it. Had I missed that one news segment, I doubt i'd know there was an upcoming woman's Summit yet. I guarantee you there are women who missed that segment. I feel like I've been swept (& am being kept) under the carpet. Not exaggerating. Here's the scoop. Single mother's are toldd we weigh on the economy. We are the same women Howard paid to have to have children when we'd been a spouses. Don't you all mean that females who'd been spouses in 2013 weigh on the economy? When Australia says "single mothers" without detail as to who we are, it chances people will think you're all talking about a bunch of us who wouldn't keep their legs shut 8 years ago. At least please say "single mothers (most of which had been spouses when they'd had their children which they'd planned responsibly) are weighing on the economy". ..Why wouldn't you be planning to talking about our being disrespected? News set their own stories up before reporting on them don't they. There's probably already articles written for next year's women's Summit & problems to be induced to go with those. How can anyone respect us when reporters & politicians (not wanting trouble with reporters) keep lying about us by omission? Not telling us that perhaps some of us are doing what we wouldn't, for we do not know we don't have to. Don't say it we all have free choice. That is not true. No matter which way women turn (given the options we've been given), we will be shamed. She should not be shamed if she decides to have 3-5 supportive partners and she should be told it is acceptable that she do this if she prefers the new 3rd multi defacto option. Somebody do the math please. Omg, 😔 It feels like I've arrived home, just as you've left, & I've had to work out for myself that you left me with all of the laundry. 😭. You want to teach people respect by first inciting disrespect? is that right? Is that fun? (Help). Do you all enjoy looking like you're doing something so long as no one suspects you're not? Help. Honest. I'm starting to think you think we're entertaining. We are not the ones who are the drama makers. You all are. Stick your head out the window & ask men on the street if they think the women who'll be talking at the summit are possibly drama makers. Have a look at the comments on Anastasia's Woman's Summit post. Have research Dept try prove me wrong. Stop conveniencing from inferiority. for crying out loud . Tsk. howard paid us per child, so, where is he now it's time to defend us? And then I hear scomo's telling us all to have children again. So we weigh on the economy, cannot run a family business in inner-city Sydney even if we have a partner,& then we're told single fathers are worth twice what single mothers are, yet no one will tell our men they should not expect us to meet them halfway. I see 3-5 supportive men, & I realised you cannot tell this woman she weighs on the economy or that I can't run a family business in inner-city Sydney if I'd like to. These problems you want to chat about at the Woman's Summit, well, look closely at them because they are not "problems" but rather "canaries in the mine." How much money is going towards the summit, that might otherwise get single mothers & their children out of those cheap & terrible districts? They're going to hell aren't they, unable to leave these places. Howard paid her to have three kids. And now she's envisioned as a street toughy. No wonder her husband talks about doesn't want her back. Women have been deprived of their tools for life because Messy Couples Issues prevent anybody saying no one should call a woman who sees 3-5 men & cares about them a hor. (Have you ever thought that a person has a greater capacity to be cruel who tends to want a person in their possession? End the war between sexes & just tell us we aren't forbidden to be semi - girlfriends to 3-5. I'll tell you once to have only two men feels like teaching and is not good for the soul. With 3-5 men, each one of us look like we're on fire. We lead lovely & fulfilling lives. Because you won't brooch this, insisting amongst yourselves that the more men we see (up to 5) who care about us the more likely we're going to be bashed. Rather it is the opposite. No one touches a hair on my head. Men as spouses, you are very very (devastatingly) boring. It's not natural we should be with only you. You knew we wanted for your happiness, & you said you wouldn't feel like a real man if you couldn't have a woman of your own. (You lied.). We get used to you being boring, quietly suffer emotional neglect like frogs in hot pots, so that when you easily won't speak to us when we feel we want to leave, we realise we don't know what you're thinking not to think we were to blame for our incompatibility, & so, we don't leave you thinking we are unwantable, & sure enough, when we do leave, we're bored to death again, made to feel unwantable again, & we find it hard to turn down people thinking that if they don't love us, how hard it would be to find somebody who would. Maybe you don't do it on purpose. maybe you do it genetically, but I'll tell you what, Australian men who are singular spouses to our woman are pointing at them saying "my priorities lie with her" whenever we broach those single mother's living in poverty. He knows though that the average marriage is only ~9 years, & it's neither here nor there whether his wife be next to be called single mother, weight, burdon, good for nothing, drama causing ..fragments of people. What men really want is what the next man has. Whatever it is. You're having a woman of your own doesn't make you feel more of a man by my perspective. Couples remind me of a mushroom & a gnome in a nice doggy bag that will never be opened. They are both hollow in ways neither equip the other to see, (for neither are with anybody else to see a problem with one by the wobble in the others). Then, tsk, because you keep saying two heads are better than one, (not 2, because still no-one seems to want to do the math), someone drops the doggy bag, & every time, people just back away from the smoosh & keep treating you with kid gloves to try to prevent you from stinking up our day to day. Messy couples issues are keeping us all half dead. Not to mention to us all any other way to live then to have one partner or none is coersive abuse. You know it is. If we are not subject to the law unless we break the law, then why on earth are we all continually, year after year, Summit after Summit subject to be with one or none unless married? We are being lied to by omission, & being turned blind eyes on as though being reserved for the next Summit, &, because every man thinks he's entitled to a woman of his very own. When I started seeing 3 to 5 men, only then did I realise that when with 1 man, I had woken every morning feeling like I was looking down the barrel of a gun. I don't write about women's issues. I write about issues affecting humanity, & please believe me when I tell you, we are all looking down the barrel of that gun. Somebody help please. I have written about this to almost every to every Australian parliamentarian, but no one wants to Talk about anything anyone else wants to talk about. They already have what they think in mind & there's nothing shifting them & so there's nothing shifting us. Do you realise we're in trouble, or do I just sound like some man hating feminist or something to you? This doesn't look like it took a lot of work & heart to write? I have never had such trusting relationships. Don't you dare associate what happens to women who are spouses with women seeing 3-5 men. The latter aren't being assaulted. It's spouses, & working girls who see strangers who are at risk of violence. I am treated brand new every time I see one of my men. Would you believe you each have your own special mating dance. No spouse has ever treated me so well. know, if men were the fragments instead, we would finally be able to say what we were worth. & there would be plenty more men with a good women behind them. At least if you're going to call us fragments of people, we should be given the dignity of knowing exactly what we're worth. Tell male partners we aren't worth as much as what he thinks, so when we go from meeting him halfway straight to living in cheap & dangerous districts with our children, he doesn't just point at the new love (after new love) of his life like they must obviously be better than us. Men, I would like some of you to say on a late night advert "I love women. I'd love one of you all to myself, but I think you should know, we're going to go broke, & if you want to be with 3-5 men & care about them, I won't let you be called Ho". Ladies you might like to say "I love a man when you let me paint you with Weet-Bix when I offer because you think I'm doing it for 3 others." (Kindly saying that you are boring as f, a liability, & an embarrassment for not one of you will stick up for us since it does not serve your interest to share. As long as you all keep thinking things you don't know you wouldn't, truth can only get so much stranger than fiction. That is philosopher death. If nobody changes things dramatically with "you can see 3-5 men", I can see philosophers will soon be beating their heads against nothing left to know anymore. Krystel Spicer Mind Ark FB 🐦 .. duped canary (38) Stanthorpe Q. Australia (Help. ..Help😶 ).
How about a plot twist instead of making out it's only men that do this make out that both sides of the species do it... Every abuse campaign poster you see it's feel sorry for the woman what about the abuse that women can do to men in relationships.
@@theeco.system730 wrong yes most physically abusive relationships are men BUT what about emotional abuse men endure by women? Men are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than women due to relationship emotional abuse!
No its not coercion. Shes using him like hes using her and its both of their faults for acting irresponsible. They are deliberately creating a dynamic of superior and dependent. Theyve both over stepped their boundries.
I found this video a bit to weighted towards it being a man always abusing the lady to be taken seriously. It is actually creating tension between the sexes. It may also be causing un-needed discord towards men. Also I question the first section of the video; why did no-one discuss the bosses reaction to the lady saying she was at a funeral. He should have maybe listened to what the problem was and he should have been a good enough manager to understand her situation. Again he is another man. Women are not angels. The amount of times I have been bullied and abused by females far out weighs the males.
I don't see how do many don't understand this. This is a form of grooming. Abusers are very good at picking victims, learning their vulnerabilities and shaking their confidence, separating them from support networks line friends and family, shaming them, and using drugs alcohol and money to control them. If this was a child there would be no question, he's using the boyfriend model.
WTF,.... Many Women I Know ,-are already Top Class Experts at Coercive Control over their Boyfriends and Husbands. Now these same Women want more Coercive Control on their Boyfriends and Husbands . Don't get involved Because Female Supremacy is real ,- and Complete .
Yeah but its deliberate. Its just like in prison, if someone gives a chocolate bar you now need to come up with that chocolate bar and a bar of soap and a pack of cigarettes. Its your fault.
I think people are more ignorant of the new law. They all know it's wrong though
@@politereminder6284 laws suck
People see how manipulative it is from this simplistic video example, and people don't know the law. This as they never had anybody that told them, who reads a law book? Nobody!!!
In reality people have been in semi similar situations as well, which makes it seem normal. They grew up with parents like this or had a partner like this.
A boyfriend / girlfriend using verbal abuse and blaming them for everything. But maybe not going as far as sabotaging job interviews, taking bank control or smashing things.
Reality is often more grey.
That hit home! my ex did a lot of that stuff, including bully me out of a job then tell people I couldn't be bothered to work.
Persuading your partner to claim bankruptcy and have the mortgage on your name is also very tactful and can be used to control a persons behaviour. Whenever they don’t do what you want, you can threaten to kick them out. Smashing their work laptop and phone may lead to losing job and friends. Isolating them and making them financially dependent on you means you have a lot of power over this person and can strip them of their identity an independence. That in itself is a trap. That in itself is abuse.
no one can fix your stupidity , don't say yes to " bankruptcy " or "mortgage " if you didn't trust the person
** coercive control is a made up bullshit ** if your man wanted you to stop going places like bars clubs ... or talking to other men YOU CAN BE A SANE HUMAN BEING AND DUMB HIM , this is just a dumb way for the government to get access to control people's life is and there home TO MAKE LAWS TO CONTROL WHAT YOU SHOULD THINK AND FEEL
you will have to be weak minded to fall for manipulation no one can force you to do anything without a threat , she say yes to all of it SHE SEES WHATS HAPPENING TO HER AND SHES FINE WITH ALL OF IT and no she have friends or go to riddet or women shelters to hide , it shouldn't be a crime bec the man in the video have reasons for doing this and it might not be evil just misunderstood , your letting the government tell you how to behave .
it's only a crime when he lies or sabotage her and make a verbal threat AND THOSE STUFF ARE ALREADY ILLEGAL TO DO
if the girl is scared of her partner thinking that his power over her mean he going to abuse her if she said no thats her own fault there are ways to deal with it ,** it's your responsibility to pick the right partner AND NOT MAKE A LAW THAT FORCES ALL MEN TO BECOME THE RIGHT PARTNER FOR YOU , mark my words soon it will be illegal to not help clean the dishes**
Oh you’ve met my ex husband! Although he didn’t claim bankruptcy he did give up his job, leaving me to pay all the bills and mortgage … and he said he hadn’t earned any money, even though he was self employed. He’d literally earned £250k a year and just banked it, all the while giving me £500 a month towards the children, bills and mortgage. I only found out about this after the divorce. Add to that violent outbursts, using online porn and seeing other women behind my back … I was exhausted from taking care of everything, working and all the childcare, I couldn’t see what was happening. The law against coercive control came against me … keep detailed diaries of your lives if you think this might be you.
I was in an almost similar relationship. And I loathe myself for not recognizing the abuse for 2.5 years.
Abuse is insidious, you don't need to blame yourself. The abuser is the one to blame. Hindsight is 20/20 and we aren't taught about healthy relationships in school. I hope you can find healing 💖
Don't loathe yourself. If anything loathe the abuse, the behavior. Love yourself and love/ admire those who treat others with respect. Love goes in hand with respect.
It’s most unfortunate to be in a situation, be aware of the situation & then watch it played out.
good to know this has legal term
Yeah but good luck explaining that you deliberately lost your job and are using a man to rebound off of because you arent humble enough to admit that youre wrong.
So triggering. I got to the point where I wouldn't mention having an interview, was bashed night before an interview. I still went in defiance. I said at the time "I'm still going to that interview".
Of course i didn't get the job. A job connects you to people. Even though money is an ever present stress they don't really want you to work.
My husband would make me late. When I was ready to walk and take the bus. He would say no let me give you a ride and make me late. Or not help me out with the kids. Or say that I looked horrible how I dressed. Call me at work when are you leaving interrupting me constantly. We are older now and he is so much calmer.
The fact that it's still not considered as serious if there hasn't been physical violence yet is part of the issue. As if psychological abuse isn't enough and yet, so many people are incapacitated by all the subtle forms of control and abuse that go on. Half the battle is dealing with someone who gaslights on a much deeper level than is depicted here in this film, to the point where when the victim tries to tell an outsider, it's seem unbelievable - which further wears away at a person's ability to trust their own experience and erodes their sense of self-worth. Not to mention all the image perception management the abuser does to the outside world.
He is very controlling and knows how to manipulate her to the point he has just about every part of her life at his mercy. The trouble is this often escalates to the point it becomes physical. She is trapped.
Yes it could be a criminal offence , but finding evidence of tht is very hard
keep a secret diary and talk to others etc
It cant be because it requires both parties to participate in the abuse. She willingly losing her job is irresponsible and for this man to care for her without being properly adjusted is also flawed. If one gets in trouble the other one should be liable as well.
Wether it's a woman or a man who is the victim of this stuff, it deserves to be taken seriously.
So is it coercive control if the partner is deliberately trying to sabotage you?
My wife won't respect my night shifts. I work full time nights and sometimes she will come home so late that I have to speed to work and get in at the last minute or be late. They have threatened to give me a warning letter. Basically, our son is 3 and she won't come home a bit earlier from the office (she has flexible evening hours in her real estate job) OR she will do stuff like force me to change our son's nappy when I'm about to leave for work (I place a nappy on him before bed time). I say force because she will literally come and stand in front of the car or drop our son off at the car and go inside which forces me to go inside with him and change his nappy.
I tried to talk to the boss but of course management only care about you coming to your job and to sort out your personal problems in your own time.
Many wives and girlfriends are coercive and controlling. In fact, it is the go to method of abuse in abusive women.
Good luck in trying to get the courts and police to recognise this though. Society is so brainwashed to find fault in everything men do and excuse even the most loathsome of behaviours in women.
that is horrible. She sounds like narc
@@incisiveshadow5593 mysoginist, where are your figures to back up your sweeping statements, how many men do the same thing?
@@JaneA544 Look at the individual cases that have passed through the UK courts. It took a serious GBH, burning with boiling water and seriously severing her boyfriends hand before a woman was even brought to justice under coercive and controlling behaviour legislation.
Look at the countless research papers done on this too. A good example is the University of Cumbria study in 2014 which found that women used more significant violence than men and were more controlling and coercive than men. The research team was entirely female.
This sounds abusive to me. I think everyone who is educated recognizes that both men and women can be abusive.
This is so informative. It would be interesting to see if the dynamic is different when the female is the abusive party.
but they can always say he raped me , it works for them all the time
Women never abuse men or if they do it is always his fault. Even in lesbian relationships, when one female abuses the other - it is his fault - because, you know, Patriarchy!
Oh shut up “wHaT aBoUt dE MeNzzz”. Freak.
@@hello8987 Be kind. Men do get abused by women. And women get abused by women too, being a survivor. We do need to talk about women abusiving others too.
When the female is the abuser it's always physical abuse.
I just got out of a relationship extremely similar to this and all I can say is that you cannot see it from the inside only the outside
And it’s very very hard for other people to notice what is really going on
Did you watch Coronation Street, the Geoff & Yasmeen storyline? It was the best adaptation of what coercive control is.
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Just watching this triggers me so much, I'm 6 months out of a relationship similar myself also and I did not recognise it at all until after it is so terrifying
Frfr
This is. Amazing to be brought out
Absolutely disgusted with the people who cant see abuse in this!! And mortified as a glaswegian to be represented by the Scottish girl on this program!!!
If he says i need you to contribute and wants her to get a job why would he deliberetly set her up for failuire? This was more stress becoming into domestic abuse if he got angry again.
Exactly he needs to make her choose. Either you get another job or get out. Its his fault for not being honest but its her responsibility to be autonomous.
I really hope neither of you end up in a situation like this.
How I wish these laws existed when I was young :'-(
I feel sadly most men are like this, or become like this in a certain point in life, especially when the wife is trapped, or commitmented. Sadly it's best to stay single for mental health.
Most men arent honest and that escalates into this situation. His anger is valid because shes irresponsible but its his fault because he needs to tell her to either find another job or leave. These are adults we are talking about.
@@fdgvfdasgv 'she's irresponsible? How did you come to that conclusion??
@@jjacob3872 He is one of those toxic "men's rights activists" that believe that women are inferior and blames everything on women and that men have no faults. He is basically blaming this women for being abused because in his eyes she is responsible for being abused.
@Nutter butter it wasn't meant for you or this Jacob guy. Tagged the wrong person.
you will have to be weak minded to fall for manipulation no one can force you to do anything without a threat , she say yes to all of it SHE SEES WHATS HAPPENING TO HER AND SHES FINE WITH ALL OF IT and no she have friends or go to riddet or women shelters to hide , it shouldn't be a crime bec the man in the video have reasons for doing this and it might not be evil just misunderstood , your letting the government tell you how to behave .
it's only a crime when he lies or sabotage her and make a verbal threat AND THOSE STUFF ARE ALREADY ILLEGAL TO DO
if the girl is scared of her partner thinking that his power over her mean he going to abuse her if she said no thats her own fault there are ways to deal with it ,** it's your responsibility to pick the right partner AND NOT MAKE A LAW THAT FORCES ALL MEN TO BECOME THE RIGHT PARTNER FOR YOU , mark my words soon it will be illegal to not help clean the dishes**
transformative justice and talking about what consent means is necessary for collective safety
when i was 21 i used to in an abusive relationship for 2 years .He was 12 years older than me .Because i never had a boyfriend and i had no experience every time i said i dont like a behavior he used to tell me " how do you know im hurting you? You never had a boyfriend before to know how relationships work .I'm the experienced one and this is how it is " I was very scared as i was studying in his county and he used to blackmail me to be with him and that his father worked in the police department and he can make sure i will have problems if i leave him .. I was lucky because i took advantage of the situation with brexit to go back in my country..( i was in uk) Im 32 now and im still single because im afraid to be abused again .I can't get over my trust issues because it was my first and only relationship .I don't want to go through it again. I have been through therapy but it seems I'm not strong enough.
reverse the genders and ask the very same people the very same questions. That would be more of an eye opener
“What about the menzzzz”
@@hello8987 it does happen to men but most of the time it's women. There is some videos where they have the man being abused not a lot of them
As a woman, I have experienced a huge amount of coercive abuse from women. The latest woman who is abusing me is a manager of a Sheltered Housing Unit, she ignores complaints and when you want to write to the Trustees, she said 'oh send an email me, the manager, even when we are complaining about her. I stand by men getting emotional, financial abuse. Women can certainly do it a lot too. I had one toxic woman in the workplace and kept a secret diary of her behaviour and a year later, I won my case. You need to get evidence.
I am in recovery mode after this type or abuse. It is a serious abuse.. It is a CRIME. Stole my happiness, joy, peace, the old me, my identity, my son's mom. Stole his homeschooling...
... We need about 2.5 years to completely recover God willing.
How could I see the program full? I would love to watch it, but it's not available because I don't live in UK 😔.
I am in a situation where I don't even understand what kind of abuse this person is doing. I lost my speech due to bullying from work due to aphasia I trusted a friend she read all my mental health stuff she advocated for me previously she wanted a romantic relationship and I didn't want that we had time apart and I thought she was OK I ended up being made redundant medically but prior to this the lady in question she got given notice for eviction only because landlord wanted to sell she is reliant on government payments and she worked for DWP she has wealthy family so her Mom brought her a house out right but because she is on government payments she asked me if I'd move in as a tenant I had no trouble where I lived but I was frightened about what my future looked like I had never been made redundant so obviously I jumped at the chance of things being different I started to stay over hers just to get use to other company she started dressing more inappropriately we done alot of things together she kept saying in front of people we are like an old married couple and I shrugged it off a lot I helped her find a house she had a friend who is a police intelligence officer and she often asked her to check on certain things which was wrong so they had a bond really I started to get locked in this house doors at first I had to tell my swimming buddy to wait so I could phone her to come back to unlock the door that was first person to witness what she done I had support from other official places and my swimming buddy kept asking if I was OK I didn't understand why but I did ask them to watch over me and expressed concerns in other places even the plumber that came to fit the bath she locked both of us in and he needed to get out to do his job one night she locked my bed room key and I had enough I told her open the window or I break it open I must sleep with something open she telephoned the police intelligence officer because at one point she said she had the same windows and keys when she arrived my friend who I might add is a woman she put on the water works the police intelligence officer escorted her downstairs and I just remained where I was and I told her my window was different to everyone else in the house that key would be separate we went around the entire house searching no sign so the police intelligence officer came round to help me take the handle off I said to her I don't think I am safe here and said tomorrow I am leaving next day 8 was suppose to meet and have help changing my documents to state new address I was that frantic I had started packing boxes I had told the lady to scrap that type of meeting and I went and told her what had been happening I said I need to get my stuff but don't trust I am safe in the house because the way she span things around and started crying I got my stuff and I was safe this person helped convince me to spend £10,500 on stuff for a house I did it because I thought she was doing me a big thing and how could I repay someone who was helping me she poisoned all my friends because she was the woman she isolated me. I've seen her on and off in passing in high Street and I have no insentive to want to try talk with her I stopped going where she was finding me I started getting better doing well trusting people and yesterday she came into my church and at the end pulled one lady aside and done the water works I think it's happening again I have autism, aphasia and host of other things I don't know what to do about this person.
If a man hit you run away fast
and if a woman hits you run and don't have kids with her
Nice to see all the single ladies
Anyone who lets you in too quick is toxic!
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it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger..
Bruh, this is illegal
It's funny how it's called "Men and Women discuss" yet in not a single moment did you hear what the lads had to say. Also, the video example only shows the coercive control as a pattern men can do and there are no examples of female-on-male coercive control.
This video, while informative on the topic, is nonetheless biased
Go watch the documentary for yourself then
This is just a clip the full episode is on bbc iplayer in which you hear both sides speak separately then when they come together
its not biased ; its representative . its true abuse happens to men and its equally as awful , but the majority of domestic abuse occurs towards women ; one woman in the uk dies every two weeks from it . this has the same principle as if the video was based on police brutality and the main character was black ; its not biased , its realistic - more police brutality DOES happen to ethnic minorities , the same way more abuse occurs towards women - this isnt a political statement , this is statistical information .
@Onion Potato literally no one says that . idk who youve been redpilled by i can assure you no woman says that about the homeless . we may say not to forget womens ISSUES in terms of being homeless - do you know how awful it is to not have pads at your disposal to bleed on every month ????? at least 97% of all uk females have been sexually harrassed , and at least one in four women have been sexually assaulted (more than just catcalling !!!!) there are real issues both women and men face in homelessness , and due to beta bias people assume a homeless mans problems encompasses all problems . please google beta bias
“Lads” are you a chav lmaoooo
I would think that in 2021, it is a universal issue. If women can do all the things that a man can, they are more likely to be perpetrators. The way forward is taking responsibility, accepting consequences, in every individual, to be better than before. Services need to be better, raising awareness and society as a whole.
I agree
Why more likely? Women will never be able to do all of the things a man can do, anyway.
I agree it's an offence but many lawyers won't defend the victim because there's not enough evidence. Or it can cost a fortune for little chance to win. Even the system doesn't understand it. As a matter of facts i have seen quite a few women putting themselves in a more vulnerable place after trying to fight for their freedom because there was not enough evidence. And very often the perpetuator continues the abuse, and take more advantage when they have children with their victims.
Anyone else have to do work on this 😩
I’ve been looking into this ever since someone said, my girlfriend might be coercive control, blame me because frequently she’ll hit me in the nuts or hurt me when were roughhousing or playing and when she’s hurt me, she starts crying and I’m there to comfort her because my physical pain means nothing to her and also if I want to dress a certain way she says no and if I say that’s what I like I want to dress like that he says, whatever like she’s a mean girl in every teen movie I want to leave but I’m afraid and I don’t know how
Sorry to hear about that. You need peaceful place of your own to think quietly and not disturbed by her. Try to move to another place that she doesn’t know. Move your things slowly without telling her or anyone. As if you tell even your friends, she will try to manipulate by saying like how she worries about you, bla bla bla. Then one day, just move out quietly without telling her. Before that time, try to record her behaviour.
If she try to meet you, don’t meet at your place or her place. Meet in public far away from your place not to be able to follow you.
If she keeps calling and harassing from phone, record those for evidence.
Think about Amber Heard
Their face will tell the victim that it is coercive control
Yes!
I hope people think that it is only a minority group that does this and the majority of men are respectful of their partner's decisions.
Stuff like this is way more common than you'd think
the majority of men do this, its the women who are the minority group
Thats straight up DV not even coercive control . Love is kind love does not hurt 😞
I'm a abuser but Im having treatment and I have changed abusive men can change
Hi i think the video has been so moving and its a shame that it can happen to anyone
Yes this is coercive control
I don't even have a girlfriend hahahaha
bro imagine having someone unironically love you hah cringe am i right?
@McLaren 07 You are being cringe sir
@McLaren 07 I hope so
@McLaren 07 stop being cringe bro
So if I'm in a relationship and my partner wants to go somewhere. I don't want them to go or cross a boundary And I say if you go I will leave you? And she is in fear I will leave her so she doesn't go..is that coercive control..oh no I have gone cross eyed
Yes
why would u tell the partner that u will leave them if they go somewhere?
@@Neko.Virtual somwhere you don't want them to go to be specific.. maybe you had a talk or a boundry and they a covert narcisst and your not aware of what a narc is ..maybe they deserve to find a bigger narc
Government
My dad was regularly abused by my mother in much the same way as this. She was out of control. I find it sick that the mainstream sees it in only one direction: men bad, women good. I actually think the opposite is as common and possibly more common. The number of abusive women I've seen with friends is counter this narrow view promulgated by videos like this.
Of course lol. “What about the menzzzz”
@@hello8987 troll
@@hello8987 femcel
@@hello8987 Realist.
@@beaulieuonnp593 Denier. Deny er.
Good job Europe! Now if only America gets its butt moving in this type of law as well!
Proof is based on the fear of violence? Perhaps the definition is broadened to non-physical violence, if that's not an oxymoron?
I think this is a bad representation especially that this is a tactic employed almost universally by female perpetrators. In terms of nagging belittling men's capabilities or trying to alienate him from his children and friends.
Idk why everyone is saying “what if it happens to men?” The issue of men being the abuser is that they are typically stronger than a female. A man can kill a woman with their bare hands a female cannot “beat” a man and him end up dead. That’s the issue. When a man is physically abused and it comes down the the wire they can fight a female off and live. That is not the case for most female abuse. So please stop with that. The reason a man might be a victim is because they morally do not want to hit a woman, but if it was life/death then they would!
it could be difference but it doesn't it is right and men and women cannot talk about abuse by women. As a woman I have had a women attempt to hit me in the workplace.. and I would I say I won my case. Controlllng behaviour restricts a person's rights. We must talk about abuse by women too to women and men.
@@beaulieuonnp593 yes you can hit a female and win your case. what i am saying is that men vs women is not an thing. the reason is that if it comes down to life and death a man can punch a woman or push off a female that has no other weapons and just using her hands/body. a female, in most cases of this level of abuse/violence, can not just simply push off a male especially in a life/death situation. life/death situation is a man is on top of you beating and punching , kicking you (a female). a man can 100% push off a female if his life is at risk. I've been in "fights" with a male and a female and as a woman myself i would not want to take a hit from a man
Exactly, at the end of the day men have the physical upper hand against women, that is why physical abuse against women is taken more seriously.
a woman can kill a man with her bare hands, are u saying all men are the equivalent of John Cena?
@@Neko.Virtual Not if he's fighting back properly she can't, the average woman will not win in a fight against the average man. As a woman it does hurt my pride to admit that but at the end of the day it's the cold hard truth, pretending otherwise could get you killed.
No idea. But social services are extremely GOOD at it. Takes one to know one
They practice itv110%.
I’d definitely say this is a level of coercive control but I also can’t help feeling that if the roles were reversed (female in control) that this wouldn’t be recognised as anything at all an would be classed as a normal relationship…both need change
Oh ffs “what about the menzzz” grow up
@@hello8987 usually looking at both sides of the argument is part of growing up...dunno about you an your "menzzzz" though lol
Maybe, but these things are given more attention than they were. I note that men are often an abusive problem, in the lives of other men too, and I mean in platonic relations.
Literally it would be classed the same. If a woman smashed plates and got in her partners’ face that would be considered a threat. If she isolated him from friends, verbally abused him and gain control over his activities, yes it would all be part of a pattern of abuse.
@@hannahsmith4007 I hope so but the anecdotal experiences I've come across don't bare witness to it. I'd certainly be appreciative to hear if you have come across any women convicted of this sort of crime? As it would help to balance my view
Cambridge analyticaaaaa
I bought a top at charity shop because I bought it without telling him he cut it up smashed up my speaker box new year's eve then hit me in back of can .hit me the other night for saying I loved his family and tonight because I went to see neighbour pulled my hair threw his phone at my head then threatend to beat me for crying
My relationship is fixed Back again my Ex is back to me we loving and living happily together I got help from a great seer who brought us back together ☝️
WhatsApp him ☝️☝️☝️
That is only going to escalate. I hope that you have a support system.
Only men can be guilty
Help⛓️Could somebody please mention the Australian woman's Summit? I'm told women's voices will be heard, but I've not seen one update about it since Anna first mentioned it. Had I missed that one news segment, I doubt i'd know there was an upcoming woman's Summit yet. I guarantee you there are women who missed that segment. I feel like I've been swept (& am being kept) under the carpet. Not exaggerating. Here's the scoop.
Single mother's are toldd we weigh on the economy. We are the same women Howard paid to have to have children when we'd been a spouses. Don't you all mean that females who'd been spouses in 2013 weigh on the economy? When Australia says "single mothers" without detail as to who we are, it chances people will think you're all talking about a bunch of us who wouldn't keep their legs shut 8 years ago. At least please say "single mothers (most of which had been spouses when they'd had their children which they'd planned responsibly) are weighing on the economy". ..Why wouldn't you be planning to talking about our being disrespected? News set their own stories up before reporting on them don't they. There's probably already articles written for next year's women's Summit & problems to be induced to go with those. How can anyone respect us when reporters & politicians (not wanting trouble with reporters) keep lying about us by omission? Not telling us that perhaps some of us are doing what we wouldn't, for we do not know we don't have to. Don't say it we all have free choice. That is not true. No matter which way women turn (given the options we've been given), we will be shamed. She should not be shamed if she decides to have 3-5 supportive partners and she should be told it is acceptable that she do this if she prefers the new 3rd multi defacto option.
Somebody do the math please. Omg, 😔 It feels like I've arrived home, just as you've left, & I've had to work out for myself that you left me with all of the laundry. 😭. You want to teach people respect by first inciting disrespect? is that right? Is that fun? (Help). Do you all enjoy looking like you're doing something so long as no one suspects you're not? Help. Honest. I'm starting to think you think we're entertaining. We are not the ones who are the drama makers. You all are. Stick your head out the window & ask men on the street if they think the women who'll be talking at the summit are possibly drama makers. Have a look at the comments on Anastasia's Woman's Summit post. Have research Dept try prove me wrong. Stop conveniencing from inferiority. for crying out loud . Tsk. howard paid us per child, so, where is he now it's time to defend us? And then I hear scomo's telling us all to have children again. So we weigh on the economy, cannot run a family business in inner-city Sydney even if we have a partner,& then we're told single fathers are worth twice what single mothers are, yet no one will tell our men they should not expect us to meet them halfway. I see 3-5 supportive men, & I realised you cannot tell this woman she weighs on the economy or that I can't run a family business in inner-city Sydney if I'd like to. These problems you want to chat about at the Woman's Summit, well, look closely at them because they are not "problems" but rather "canaries in the mine." How much money is going towards the summit, that might otherwise get single mothers & their children out of those cheap & terrible districts? They're going to hell aren't they, unable to leave these places. Howard paid her to have three kids. And now she's envisioned as a street toughy. No wonder her husband talks about doesn't want her back. Women have been deprived of their tools for life because Messy Couples Issues prevent anybody saying no one should call a woman who sees 3-5 men & cares about them a hor. (Have you ever thought that a person has a greater capacity to be cruel who tends to want a person in their possession? End the war between sexes & just tell us we aren't forbidden to be semi - girlfriends to 3-5. I'll tell you once to have only two men feels like teaching and is not good for the soul. With 3-5 men, each one of us look like we're on fire. We lead lovely & fulfilling lives. Because you won't brooch this, insisting amongst yourselves that the more men we see (up to 5) who care about us the more likely we're going to be bashed. Rather it is the opposite. No one touches a hair on my head.
Men as spouses, you are very very (devastatingly) boring. It's not natural we should be with only you. You knew we wanted for your happiness, & you said you wouldn't feel like a real man if you couldn't have a woman of your own. (You lied.). We get used to you being boring, quietly suffer emotional neglect like frogs in hot pots, so that when you easily won't speak to us when we feel we want to leave, we realise we don't know what you're thinking not to think we were to blame for our incompatibility, & so, we don't leave you thinking we are unwantable, & sure enough, when we do leave, we're bored to death again, made to feel unwantable again, & we find it hard to turn down people thinking that if they don't love us, how hard it would be to find somebody who would. Maybe you don't do it on purpose. maybe you do it genetically, but I'll tell you what, Australian men who are singular spouses to our woman are pointing at them saying "my priorities lie with her" whenever we broach those single mother's living in poverty. He knows though that the average marriage is only ~9 years, & it's neither here nor there whether his wife be next to be called single mother, weight, burdon, good for nothing, drama causing ..fragments of people. What men really want is what the next man has. Whatever it is. You're having a woman of your own doesn't make you feel more of a man by my perspective. Couples remind me of a mushroom & a gnome in a nice doggy bag that will never be opened. They are both hollow in ways neither equip the other to see, (for neither are with anybody else to see a problem with one by the wobble in the others). Then, tsk, because you keep saying two heads are better than one, (not 2, because still no-one seems to want to do the math), someone drops the doggy bag, & every time, people just back away from the smoosh & keep treating you with kid gloves to try to prevent you from stinking up our day to day. Messy couples issues are keeping us all half dead.
Not to mention to us all any other way to live then to have one partner or none is coersive abuse. You know it is. If we are not subject to the law unless we break the law, then why on earth are we all continually, year after year, Summit after Summit subject to be with one or none unless married? We are being lied to by omission, & being turned blind eyes on as though being reserved for the next Summit, &, because every man thinks he's entitled to a woman of his very own. When I started seeing 3 to 5 men, only then did I realise that when with 1 man, I had woken every morning feeling like I was looking down the barrel of a gun. I don't write about women's issues. I write about issues affecting humanity, & please believe me when I tell you, we are all looking down the barrel of that gun. Somebody help please.
I have written about this to almost every to every Australian parliamentarian, but no one wants to Talk about anything anyone else wants to talk about. They already have what they think in mind & there's nothing shifting them & so there's nothing shifting us. Do you realise we're in trouble, or do I just sound like some man hating feminist or something to you? This doesn't look like it took a lot of work & heart to write?
I have never had such trusting relationships. Don't you dare associate what happens to women who are spouses with women seeing 3-5 men. The latter aren't being assaulted. It's spouses, & working girls who see strangers who are at risk of violence. I am treated brand new every time I see one of my men. Would you believe you each have your own special mating dance. No spouse has ever treated me so well. know, if men were the fragments instead, we would finally be able to say what we were worth. & there would be plenty more men with a good women behind them. At least if you're going to call us fragments of people, we should be given the dignity of knowing exactly what we're worth. Tell male partners we aren't worth as much as what he thinks, so when we go from meeting him halfway straight to living in cheap & dangerous districts with our children, he doesn't just point at the new love (after new love) of his life like they must obviously be better than us.
Men, I would like some of you to say on a late night advert "I love women. I'd love one of you all to myself, but I think you should know, we're going to go broke, & if you want to be with 3-5 men & care about them, I won't let you be called Ho". Ladies you might like to say "I love a man when you let me paint you with Weet-Bix when I offer because you think I'm doing it for 3 others." (Kindly saying that you are boring as f, a liability, & an embarrassment for not one of you will stick up for us since it does not serve your interest to share. As long as you all keep thinking things you don't know you wouldn't, truth can only get so much stranger than fiction. That is philosopher death. If nobody changes things dramatically with "you can see 3-5 men", I can see philosophers will soon be beating their heads against nothing left to know anymore.
Krystel Spicer Mind Ark FB 🐦 .. duped canary
(38) Stanthorpe Q. Australia (Help. ..Help😶 ).
Very nasty behaviour, but there's wording in the legal literature that screams police state.
How about a plot twist instead of making out it's only men that do this make out that both sides of the species do it... Every abuse campaign poster you see it's feel sorry for the woman what about the abuse that women can do to men in relationships.
bc it’s mostly men
@@theeco.system730 wrong yes most physically abusive relationships are men BUT what about emotional abuse men endure by women? Men are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than women due to relationship emotional abuse!
agreed and I am a woman
@@theeco.system730 they should do both. Women can be very nasty too. The first case of Coercive control in the UK was by a woman who abused a man
Another whatabout
No its not coercion. Shes using him like hes using her and its both of their faults for acting irresponsible. They are deliberately creating a dynamic of superior and dependent. Theyve both over stepped their boundries.
how so?
No. He purposefully manufactured this situation and it’s horrifying that you don’t see that.
Why does nobody address the issue of women who make stuff up?
First
>anime pfp
based
@McLaren 07 I do
Second
I found this video a bit to weighted towards it being a man always abusing the lady to be taken seriously. It is actually creating tension between the sexes. It may also be causing un-needed discord towards men. Also I question the first section of the video; why did no-one discuss the bosses reaction to the lady saying she was at a funeral. He should have maybe listened to what the problem was and he should have been a good enough manager to understand her situation. Again he is another man. Women are not angels. The amount of times I have been bullied and abused by females far out weighs the males.
it doesn't matter she needs to start making better life choices
@@jemmaj2919 If you reduce the pool of vulnerable women he won't have anything to work with.
@V.B "holding the male abuser accountable" is very vague, do you have any steps that are more concrete?
😂😂😂 and you are the type of man that should be in court & single for the rest of your life
@@clairebeck4220 You wish lol
SIGSEGV you are an example of ignorance at best or complicity at worst.
lmao alex do be based
Men get abused as well. Remember that