For me the biggest red flag was when he insisted on getting her a cab, asking for her address and going with her, after she had said no thanks. If he can't read THAT...
It is impossible to understand what women say anyway. When they say "no", they sometimes mean "yes" and sometimes "no". Now if I consider that as "no", she will accuse me that I do not understand her. And if that is "yes" from first, she will accuse me that "no" means no and I harassed her!
@@s.d.966 It's one thing if you are in a relationship and going back and forth. With a stranger or acquaintances assume they mean what they say. It takes a lot of courage to say no sometimes, plus you don't want anyone who's toying with you from the get go anyway.
@@AhmedHassan-vq8ou maybe some do, but, unless you are absolutely sure she is one of them, it's best to take the rejection at face value, for you and for her.
Personally the perfume comment wouldn't have even crossed my radar and I would have laughed at the beauty and brains comment but the hand on the back sliding down would have definitely made me say something.
does not the no means no rule cover this then? my experience is that women are not so wan and are perfectly capable of setting boundaries for themselves. do we not risk killing sex by introducing all of these rules which require an awkward, sexless conversation? if a woman says no and a man continues then it is sexual harassment. a man trying it on is surely just a part of human nature. the more we remove and demonise sex within our society, the more frustration, desperation and confusion will result. we need sex and love and connection. without it we are lost. historically, times of great social justice revolution (late nineteen, early twentieth century/1920s/1960s/1980s) were also times of sexual liberation and empowerment for women to act as their own agents. no means no and it only needs to be said once. embarrassment and the risk of social castigation from a coherent society is usually enough to prevent repeat attempts. and if not there is the law. no means no means no. simple... ?
Sexual harassment is basically the womens way of turning an advantage into victimhood.Imagine if we say to men...hey guys if i press this button starting from tomorrow you ll get constant attention from women just for breathing....you ll have their attention,phone numbers,gifts just by..existing without any effort on your part and your only downside ll be to discourage the ones you dont like........do you think they ll think about it twice?
@@gdew The 'no means no' saying is misleading. Instead it should be 'yes means yes'. For the other person to have to say no to your actions the damage has already been done. You can't run a hand down a woman's back and cry 'she didn't say no' when she takes offense. You made the first move and you are responsible for your own actions. Just like I can't hit someone in the face with a brick and say 'Well he didn't say no. It was just a natural reaction to assholery. But if you don't want me to do it in the future, I guess I'll stop then and we're cool."
I think context matters and it went from acting a bit inappropriate to sexual harassment when he was continuing to push after it's clear that she's not interested. The idea that 'she wants me, she just doesn't know it yet' is pretty gross.
it also depends on the person's some people don't receive or understand when someone's not interested especially say if they had autism or some kind of thing preventing socialisable behaviour.
I guess you guys are just trying to be as offensive as possible to evoke a response and replying using my top comment to try and get more people to see it. Good luck with that.
The Fool I’m a woman- and I totally agree. But- the kiss and the arm around her waist would make me feel uncomfortable. More so awkward- and I’d comment and say not to do that shit again. Simple. “Sexual harassment”- I don’t think so. If this woman felt uncomfortable - she would have definitely said something and shouldn’t have gone into the taxi. Simple. What triggers me is that he was brought into court for some bullshit reason. No need for that. It could have been far worse. The comment he made- I don’t think men say shit like that lmao.
Yeah when the woman at the end is like "you wouldn't say that to a man" I thought, I would definitely compliment a guy on his aftershave if he was wearing nice aftershave. I don't see how that's sexual harassment at all.
But the lawyer thinks appreciating the perfume constitutes sexual harassment.... I have been told a couple of times "which cologne is that? ... you smell nice..." but maybe it's coz we men don't know what qualifies as sexual harassment against us
Complementing her perfume shouldn't be considered sexual harassment as a one off situation. Edit: Coming back to this comment i made 3 years ago, my viewpoint is now: When in another person's personal space in a work environment, complementing someone's perfume is definitely inappropriate and could be considered sexual harassment, such as the situation shown in the video. However, If a relationship is more developed than purely a work relationship, I believe a retrospective complement outside of each others personal space can be acceptable, but again it's highly dependent on situational factors such as the relationship between the two persons. There are complexities and nuances to such hypothetical situations. But in a work relationship, none of the performed behaviours are acceptable. And I think within the context of the video and the portrayed characters, that situation in isolation is sexual harassment. Basically what the woman said at the end. I don't know what I exactly thought when I made the original comment, but I definitely think I didn't recognise the contextual nuances of such situations, making an oversimplified comment.
@Oryx Noir Meh. If the work is in front of her and she doesn't want him looking over her, then she should move over and give him more space. Normally, you'd sit either side of the paper/computer so you don't have to/the situation doesn't occur where one person is invading the other person's personal space
Oryx Noir But that’s not what the lady at the end said. She said “would he say to a man, you’ve got nice perfume”. Well what if he did would that be such a big deal? I’ve had women complement me on the cologne I’m wearing at work. How is that sexual harassment? #Worldsgonemad
No, definitely not. I personally would find it a bit weird but only because I'd expect another woman to say it, not a man. I wouldn't see that as a "signal"
@@bobsyouruncle1069 true, and if a male colleague sat so close to me that I felt uncomfortable I would just shift my chair over. It takes 2 seconds. That way if they meant it then it's a clear rejection of their advances, and if they didn't mean it then you've not actually said anything to make a big deal out of nothing.
To me the line that he crossed is making the comment while still in very close proximity. You might lean over temporarily to get a better look at the screen but holding that position for a long time is too intimate and should feel uncomfortable to both parties. Leaning in to point or look at something on the screen, noticing the perfume, straightening back-up, attempting eye contact and then commenting would be fine.
It was subtle because it wasn't like she flat out said with her mouth "no" but she definitely didn't say "yes" so the guy should have asked her first before forcing anything on her.
Complimenting perfume: A normal thing, not sexual harassment. Hands on back: red flag, maybe harrasment Kiss without permission and touching: yes, thats sexual harrasment.
Another good rule: If a woman says "no" it's safe to assume she means it, and if she doesn't it means she is playing stupid games and she is not worth your time.
Ffs. If someone tells me my perfume or whatever spray smells nice, I’d be happy that someone was complimenting me. It would give me more confidence. There is a difference between harassment and complimenting.
There were plenty of signs, especially by the time she rejected his arm around her back at the party it should have been obvious she wasn't interested. The kiss came out of the blue, and he didn't even move in slowly to see if she reciprocated or backed away, he just took it.
And in what judicial book equals your criteria of what harassment is. I don't think it was illegal what he did. And what document precisely explaint to you what signal means what. And how can you precisely reconize any of all those signals? What i have learned is that social signals is unambiguously and that you can (easily) misinterpret that. That is (at least one of the reasons) why we have develop verbal language. So that it can unambiguously indications something.
Now do another one where the women is the aggressor. Often the women are much more aggressive in signalling and wanting to basically get laid when they find a guy they are attracted to. But women are rarely in the wrong or accused of harassment.
@@benparsons4979 yeah, well... Hate to disagree to a degree, but men can be uncomfortable just like women. They can just flat out not be interested. Just like women. Not all wanna get laid to someone they don't know. They're humans, too. Not all think with their penis.
It's mainly down to how it made her feel. If you remember what the Solicitor said that if the intent wasn't there but it still makes their dignity feel violated then apparently that ticks the box to
Why makes understanding one single equals understanding all singles? And what is the meaning of every of all the signals in any situation? And how does any of all that signals looks like? Can you explain me that. If you can't explain that than you have no idea either.
Girls like me who have been a victim since I was 5 year old and continued to be sexually harassed into my senior year of high school by different men, you know you don’t like it and it makes you uncomfortable but everyone is different and someone with low self esteem find it very hard to say no and stop it of that makes me uncomfortable early on and it quickly leads up to a point that you never wanted to go with a person. Just because their is not spoken words of No their is so much body language that says I don’t like that. Also we as women don’t want to assume all guys are “pigs” who keep pushing until they get what they want we try to give them the benefit of the doubt and that can quickly get a girl in a situation she doesn’t want if a guys has an Entitled opinion about himself
I had 2 friends which I think I hurt when I was drunk, I was told I grabbed the waist and disrespected them but nobody noticed that the girls were uncomfortable, but a part of me was present at that moment he was screaming at me to stop but for some reason, I just didn't stop. The next day I apologised and confessed to all my mates at the party I think I sexually assaulted her but they dismissed me. Idk how I could make it up. I will change I just can't forgive myself as they were there for me when I needed them most and I let them down. *I will most likely delete this comment as I am embarrassed *
Argument: "Well she should have said no". You shouldn't have to explicitly tell your coworker that you don't want be kissed. Also, if you follow that reasoning, the guy never once verbally said, "hey I like you, do you want to go out/what are your feelings?" either. He just assumes she does with no evidence. Especially combined with certain physical cues she gives him that she is *not* into it. The golden rule is "active consent". If someone is just giving in or says ok after you nag them, that is not consent. If she were actively flirting back then that's the cue to start a conversation and make intentions clear on both sides.
I shouldn't have to explicitly ask her out, what about all these I have perfected over the years? "dude there's nothing happening here, back off" is NOT asking much.
''You shouldn't have to explicitly tell your coworker that you don't want be kissed'' Then how the hell do you know for 100% certainty if she want to be kissed by you?
I would find it a nice thing if someone touch my back. Or actually, it depends on who touches my back. If i don't like it i would say it. A lot of you women seems to stupid/shy/coward to do that.
Agreed; when he touched her back she was clearly uncomfortbale - that should have been the 'tell' to not try to go for the kiss in the end; so idk where she sent those signals he referenced. Prior to the back touch, to call that sexual harrassment is sooooo harsh - if you're interested in some1 this is how you let them know and its how we phish to see if a woman wud be interested. Im happy to see that a woman thinks this way tho
I swear some guys are clueless. Like they really didn’t see any of the signs that she was uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’m a woman and I can put myself in her shoes and understand how uncomfortable I would feel. There’s just this constant need for authority with some guys
Context is so important. The clip starts off as just flirting which is fine but when you can't or refuse to read the signals but continue to push then that's sexual harassment which I feel this showed fairly well
1. Complimating someone shouldn't be sexual harrasment. 2. Touching someones back and they take your hands off them gives you a warning. 3. kissing someone without permission is Sexual harrasment, if someone doesn't say yes or both don't go in for a kiss just don't do it.
Well you’re complimenting because you’re sexually charged, that’s why it’s considered harassment. Women are often scared of men because they get violent when being turned down, so often they stay quiet out of fear. Yes the kissing is far out of order especially when the advances were so one sided.
It's sexual harassment to tell someone that their perfume smells nice?? I'm sexually harassed every time I put on my cologne then. I don't see hiw telling someone that they smell nice (which they set out to do by wearing perfume in the first place) is me trying to shame them based on their gender. As for the hand on her back, at least give him a chance to shoot his shot because he has to go to court over it. Push his hand away and tell him you're not interested rather than make him a criminal. If he persists, then have it be illegal because at that point it's been made clear that she's not interested and from that point it's clearly harassment. Kissing is different. I think that if there's no chemistry whatsoever and he forces himself onto you, it should be sexual assault based on the circumstance. However, misreading signals should not have you risk going to jail.
Here's the thing that he did right (Not Sexual Harassment): - Complimenting her perfume There's the things he did wrong: - Ask for her address - Not using consent of kissing and Touching her This is me before quarantined. I am learning Sexual Harassment, Sexual Assault, etc. My thoughts is: Don't be stupid, don't give them an uncomfortable, don't stalk, etc.
It was determined that the law considers EVERYTHING he did to be sexual harassment. Complimenting the perfume was something he'd not have done to a male colleague, and because he is heterosexual then it is considered sexually objectifying the woman. I think the key context here is that they are work colleagues.
@However Forman And yet you are unaware of the laws surrounding sexual harassment as EVERYTHING he did is considered sexual harassment by law. The feelings or reaction of the woman is irrelevant if the intention is to sexually objectify the victim.
The hand on the back, she moved it off clear sign. The kiss was missread and definitely not in the right place but the verbal comments clearly can't have been.
@@shreshth231 Agreed, I also got "maybe later" signs from that, I got "try again next time" from the kiss scene too... Maybe I'm wrong... But this comment section shows that "signals" should not be the basis of social and legal sanctions. All of this can be resolved by the guy being clear, and the woman being clear.
This Kat girl also sexually harasses another colleague. In the episode she undoes the top buttons of another barmaid. Surely that is sexual harassment too.
I think us men need to see it from the women's perspective, we need to be aware of personal space and how we may be making them uncomfortable. There are so many grey areas with this kind of debate that it is best in my opinion to veer on the side of caution. Sometimes misread signals are due to the fact that the male may just wish she fancied him back and this may not be the case.
I’m a woman and I find it confusing actually. Here’s why. A few years ago, I worked for someone. Now I had, sometimes, comical sexual banter, with another colleague. But, then, the guy I worked for suddenly started turning his attention towards me. Lots of staring and some sexual innuendo, for a few years. I’d always found him quite attractive but, never let on as, he was my boss and married. So, I considered it a dead end. But, when he started staring, I was at first, confused as, he was also a pretty angry sort and I didn’t think he liked me, anymore than anyone else there. So, I initially, took the staring as intimidation and glaring. It got to the point where, when I was dropping something off in his office and was exiting, he said, “And make it SEXY!” I was shocked - but, quite flattered. When I returned to hand him something he took it, looked at me and said, “Now, is THIS sexy?” Again, I was flattered. So, for me, whether I was interested/flattered or not, the question was, what was his intent? Was it to harass me OR was he actually interested in me? I know no one can answer that here. But, I’d bet it has been a burning question, for a number of other women, because what if they found themselves actually interested, in a man who was sexually harassing them, but they thought it was genuine interest? That, too, is trouble. No woman wants to get involved with a man, who was feigning interest, when he was actually harassing her. It’s almost as if, it’s sometimes considered sexual harassment, if it’s in the workplace, but just life, outside of the workplace and I don’t say this, because I’m minimizing sexual harassment. I’m sure many women have had a terrible time, with a man, who is sexually harassing them. I can also imagine a woman accusing a genuinely-interested man of sexual harassment and him being horrified that she thought that’s what it was. Just confusing to both sides.
I mean nnaahhh he wanted it so he tried to get it😂if we were all like that and none of us advanced we would just sit and look at each other, think about it lad
I just watched the full thing. The barrister at the end really opened my eyes. Complimenting a woman's perfume is sexual harassment but complimenting another guys perfume isn't? Touching someone's shoulder is sexual harassment? Treating someone less fabouribly because they rejected your advancements is sexual harassment? What are you supposed to do? Keep treating them special? Damaging a woman's dignity without intent? The last 3 I mentioned is openly done many young women. Is the law trying to end all reproduction and end human civilization?
I think it was sexual harassment after she pushed his hand away and the perfume comment isnt- but put together with telling the taxi to leave and kissing her- it should be considered sexual harassment.
The barrister who enters at the 4:35 mark has misandry written all over her face. She is the sort of person who has campaigned for law changes pertaining to heterosexual relationships and I wouldn't mind betting she has enjoyed little success HERSELF with men. Moving on, though, the entire 56 minute documentary, of which this is just a take out, is well put together and thought provoking. Lots of issues to talk about here. 1. Workplace flirting has led to many long term relationships over the years and has probably been the most reliable venue for finding long term partners. 2. Women never look as appealing as when at work. 3. Women are attracted to successful men -alpha males ... including high ranking employees. 4. Line managers are in a very powerful position in 'employer's markets' such as exists today and in which employees are beholden to them for references. 5. It is common for men in hierarchically superior workplace positions to trade on their advantages to appease their sexual desires. 6. Men are traditionally expected to be the play-makers and are always the ones at risk of making a bad judgment. 7. Women are turned on by male confidence. 8. The laws have morphed to the point where it is at big loggerheads with biology/human sexio-psychology. 9. Workplace gender segregation is probably not feasible. ERGO WE ARE F$#&@D!
Why there are guys who obviously make you feel uncomfortable? And its clear to see. Still keep on doing what they are doing? What is it with trying to violate a persons boundaries? I think its disgusting.
I just started a new job. I’m a woman. When another woman is training me at my job she’s been accidentally on purpose touching my leg. I think it’s harassment disguised as accidents. She’s done it several times in the same manner. I like my new job but I don’t want to be harassed not by a man or woman. I’m trying to figure out how to confront her without making a scene - we work in cubicles. Or what if it’s truly accidents?
That will never happen until the feminist movement is in charge of the legislation regarding sexual crimes. In Britain and most countries, a woman forcing a man into sex is not rape. Also, the victim has to pay child support to his rapist, if she gets pregnant. Even if the men was a child at the time of the conception.
I feel like those singular acts alone (touching her back, complimenting her perfume, even the kiss) do NOT constitute sexual harassment. What would be sexual harassment is what ended up happening here. Spurring his sexual advances DIRECTLY CAUSED her job termination. Also, the fact that he kept going after each incident, instead of stopping when she demonstrated discomfort.
@@kadriyesemaakbas1643 Can you precisely explain to me what the right and only right appropriate approach is to you. Because it is never been explained to anyone what the precise one way of approach is. We men have always to guess if this is the right approach. And you can see by this video that that men tried what he think was a good approach but now you hear some of the women in this video complained that it was the wrong thing to do. It is pretty easy for you that a women like you is never been conditiond by society to take the first step without been told what the one way of appropriate approach is.
@@azisdebestify Dude. If you like someone. Treat them respectfully. Talk to them. Ask them out. Don't comment on their looks or randomly touch them or kiss them. It really is that simple.
!TW! I’m confused. When I was younger, my uncle kept pinching my a** whenever he hugged me/ I hugged him. He would hug me, pinch my a** and play it of as a kind of running “mosquito” joke. As a kid that obviously made me uncomfortable because it hurt(I wasn’t aware of what sex and those kinds of things meant because of my age). I kept telling him to stop. But he wouldn’t, not even my parents told him to stop, they all just treated it as a big joke. After a while, obviously, I didn’t want to hug him anymore when I saw him, but he would always guilt trip me , manipulate me and/or use my parents to make me hug him. Shit like “aw but why won’t you give uncle a hug, uncle loves you”. But it happened everytime we went to his house. Im glad that around the age of 8/9 I moved out of the country we lived in and into England, but now that I’m more mature and understand these things I feel u comfortable with what happened and feel I might’ve been assaulted in a way. I’m just so confused and conflicted because on one side I feel that it wasnt okay and that I was assaulted as a child, but on the other I always feel invalid because of things my parents say. Things like “ oh but he didn’t have anything bad on his mind”, “he’s a good man, he’s got like 5 kids” , ect. Could anyone help me figure out if it was sexual assault or something else?
I have little respect for BBC 3 in general. The male character is very much a straw man. I know people like this in life but none are that far. He comes across as forward but overly forward in a creepy way. It seems very unnatural behaviour but I’ll pin that down to the script in general as it was trying to play scenarios. Complimenting someone’s appearance isn’t demeaning their intelligence or objectifying them, it’s just a compliment. That he was sitting so close to her and for her to smile and seem comfortable could easily be seen as a sign she likes him. The arm thing was very forward but her playing it off was pretty clear she wasn’t interested at that point. The compliment came off as creepy as is the theme of this character but a throw away line like this to someone who he seems quite close with isn’t much. She also didn’t show much of a reaction to it which furthers this. The cab was weird. He again one dimensionally came off as really creepy getting in the taxi with her and getting out. The kiss as well was strange but there was only one extremely minor incident where she reacted negatively and it was the very forgettable brush of the arm. When as infatuated with someone as he seems to be he’ll be making up signs in his head so it’s not as if there was anything that stood out. We all text stuff like that to our friends about crushes and all he really said is that he’d work his charm. Overall another odd video fitting the BBC3 narrative and only getting one barrister who clearly had a bias was a low move. The characters were exaggerated and creepy but he was non threatening overall and didn’t challenge her rejections or become aggressive with her in any way
1. she gave her consent 1:46 2. She was smiling after the kiss 1:33 3. She never said no 4. Removing hand from the back sometimes girls do that first 1 or 2 times then they let you do it is not a big deal unless she particularly says no 5. Complimenting perfume is not a sexual harassment 6. Complimenting beauty with brains is not sexual harassment 7. Men usually take the initiative so if every move they make is sexual harassment then how will couples form, intimate relationships start or reproduction will occur??? 8. If it was harassment why didn't she stop hanging out with her or why didn't she stop talking to him??
No woman should have to say no for men to back off. She moved his hand away and that should be enough to convey a lack of interest. Pushing for more even after such a circumstance is undoubtedly harassment. Great video BBC, and an important one to make in these times. Perfect for sparking discussion around a subject that needs discussing.
I don’t think the perfume comment should constitute as sexual harrassment, I think there’s a grey area between being uncomfortable and being harassed. That’s why I don’t even think the hand on the back thing was sexual harrassment, but everything that came after that could be seen as harrassment because she expressed signals of discomfort clearly and he still tried to pursue That’s just how I see it 🤷🏾♀️
That deserved a much more nuanced conversation. Majority of relationships start in the work place and people have different definitions on what's okay so there needs to be a consensus because this isn't gonna go away any time soon
after she moved his hand it should be obvious she wasn’t interested... there’s nothing wrong with trying to flirt and showing interest but if you receive clear signals the other person isn’t interested and keep on going that’s harassment
The point is that it shouldnt factor into work. You are there to work together, and are equals in terms of being human (even if you hold different positions) and can expect to be treated with respect and dignity. She may have wanted to say something back in regards to the 'beauty and brains' or back touching but because of the imbalanced power dynamic and risking her job she wouldnt - the absence of negative signals is hardly giving off good signals
I understand that women sometimes fear the reactions people might have if they give them a direct rejection. I think they need to make that rejection nonetheless, and if someone lashes out, that is harassment, and that should be actionable. I don't like this idea that "If you know she's into you" it's fair game, precisely because signals can be misread. You need a definitive confirmation of feelings before you can proceed. If you don't have that yet, you should ask for it, and risk rejection. Perhaps you're worried about how she would react if you asked her how she feels about you, and that's why you don't ask but just proceed as though she likes you. Well, maybe you can use that perspective to sympathize with why a woman might not want to give you the direct rejection. Everyone needs to be more conscientious.
First off, he’s in a position of power. He already works at the bar. She’s just started. She wants to fit in and not cause trouble for herself. He doesn’t take no for an answer when she wants to order her own taxi. He finds out her address. Gets out of the taxi with her. At no point did she show she was interested. He made numerous comments. She didn’t reciprocate. “She should have definitely have said something” and risk messing up her job and the job environment?
I honestly think the best approach is to do the 'Hitch'. Like in the movie the best way if you are not sure about a girl's feelings when you lean in for a kiss you should lean in 90 percent of the way and let her lean the rest of 10 percent. That way you are definitely giving her the signal that you like her and want to kiss her and at the same time you give her the chance to say ''sorry I don't see you that way'' or something like that. And that is that. The other things were ok, except the hand, a hand on the upper back in the club it's ok, but the sliding down it's not.
I'm done with flirting others & I'm done with falling in love. Love sucks!!! Especially when it's just 1-sided & if not careful, it always ended bitter with rejection but worse, sexual harassment. I am an unlucky man when it comes to flirting. All my love interest unfortunately are 1-sided & I've been victimized with reject after reject after reject. 1 of the rejects even got me in trouble for sexual harassment, but luckily, that girl who reported on me still say to me that "I'm still a good person & it's just an accident" in the end & they drop the charges. I tried my best to be a better man. I hit the gym, I focus on my work & I even tried to do good deeds in helping others around me. I even seek relationship advisement from a psychiatrist & a relationship coach & tried to follow their advice. When opportunity of a love interest appear in front of me, I took that opportunity. Of course, I move with caution! Or so I thought... But sadly, don't know why, no matter how hard I tried, I always ended up rejected & these rejects hurt me so much, it even hurt me psychologically too. I don't know who I am anymore... Am I a monster to others around me? Because of this shock in my life, I give up on flirting. To prevent further suffering, I engage in my religion of Buddhism & started to practice what Buddhist monks do, which is to cut myself away from society & just focus on living my life & doing well in my work & nothing more. Whoever decides to come into my life, I welcome them with open arms & hospitality, but if they decide to leave, I let them be. Why do I have to bother chasing them & pleading them to be my friend like before where it resulted in rejection & harassment to occur? Overall, flirting is hard & I accept that some men have skills to flirt without creating harassment out of it. Some men have to learn the flirting skills. Whereas some men like me, no matter how hard they tried, they're not destined to flirt women.
Personally, I wouldn't mind someone complimenting my perfume. However, I WOULD mind someone touching my back, especially if their hand then went down to my waist. That's a definite no no.
I would say exactly the same as hers. If she reported him after he didn't kiss her he would have probably taken it further. If she didn't report him he would have probably just continued to put up with it as she would have.
Touching her back isn't sexual harassment Smelling her perfume isn't sexual harassment Getting her a drink isn't sexual harassment However after getting rejected each time and still carrying on it is sexual harassment. And kissing her like that is too - he didn't even give her a chance to lean out. Whenever you have a position of power you should be even more careful not to act so irresponsibly. The question is, what punishment should he get for his actions? At the end of the day, there are far worse people doing far worse things who deserve to be severely punished far more than this guy. I'm not sure he deserves to go to prison for this.
I was approached by a stranger in a cafe who had sat next to me. He asked me a question. He had been talking to another older women next to him and kept the banter civil. As I was reading and sat not facing this man, he reached out and touched my hand in stroking weird way as I was writing. I said you have no right to touch my hand - it is inappropriate. He said. I am sorry but your hand was so smooth. At that point I said I do not want your attention. He then started to insult me and spoke as of I was his partner, making personal comments and was being intimate. I stood up, raised my voice and said you have no right to sit next to me, touch my hand and start insulting me. Then I said I d call the police and hit him if he approached me. I raised my voice even louder. No one came to help me. So I walked away with my stuff to the toilet being insulted by him. When I came out he had gone but I still had to leave not knowing if he was around or not. This is happening more frequently than usual. Men are behaving like depraved incivil revolting sex obsessed out of control persons and need to take anti testosterone medicine to get a grip. It is not ok to objectify women as fair game. Now I have to learn self defence again as I truly have had enough at 61 I want peace and quiet. Disgusting
@Ninja - rape is surely unacceptable and nobody support it. As far as I remember the content of this video, no rape is shown here. This video rather taught me that telling a woman she smells good is already an act of sexual harassment lol Hence our friend saying "society gone mad"
Personally the perfume comment wouldn’t be a problem for me, the women at the end saying he wouldn’t say that to a man maybe not , maybe he’s not interested in men sexually so complimenting someone’s perfume is I think simply a kind thing
The pushing away the hand from her hip would've been enough for me, I'd of also felt so ashamed/embarrassed that I even assumed that I wouldn't of pursued any further. I also am very moronic when it comes to 'signals', I actually stopped making advances a long time ago. I have been with my girlfriend for six months now, but before that I was going into clubs and not assuming I could dance with a girl, despite them pushing back up onto me because of the pressing concern that I was assuming too much. A bit OTT, but it is dangerous to assume things nowadays, especially with the ever-mounting pressure from the media on toxic masculinity and tarnishing all blokes as scum bags(check out Gillette for confirmation).
once a colleague of mine at work was accused of sexual harassment for looking at a women while eating pizza. no talking, no touching, no compliments. The best solution is don't work with women. the good old days are gone.
of course, this is all sexual harassment if a man does it, if a woman does it, then she is simply "strong and independent" and if the man refused her, then again it is his fault!
I'm honestly surpised the barrister claims the perfume comment is sexual harassment and I really don't think it should be. I often compliment both men and women on their appearance and smell if I feel it stands out and it just seems wrong to make a comment about perfume sexual harassment. I have also never been told anything I said was offensive. Also, the fact the barrister says "would he say to a man, 'you've got nice perfume'?" is said in a tone that implies the man wouldn't, yet there are people who do. This is very tricky ground and I fear can be misused.
His behaviour is inappropriate. She's clearly not interested. He deserves a talking to by his boss and maybe a warning, not a criminal proceeding. She has grounds to complain but let's not get the Police involved until after she's actually told him "no" and he persists with physical or psychological abuse.
In my time looking at stuff like this and also experiencing similar situations and you end up getting advice from other dudes and women even family on how to get a women. Its difficult to read someone. Body language is not enough. Even at my last job I asked a few chicks on something like this why don't they just tried to get to know the guy first before jumping in a relationship with them in under a week. They said a lot of girls dont like that. I have seen a video if a man asking women would you prefer a guy to ask to kiss you or just go for it. They talk shit about the guy that would ask. Women make it difficult on use by making a super fine line between flirting and sexual harassment. But they want us to make the first move. That move could put us into hand cuffs.
That's very valid concern. They need to obliterate the expectation for guys to make the first move and encourage more women to make the first move. If we can encourage that and keep it at socially acceptable environments i.e bars, clubs, social events, friend circles, etc. This could help.
yeah also he said "i got signals" and that she led him on, essentially blaming her for the uncomfortable situation, but she explicitly DID NOT do that--> pushing his hand away, denying him to get her a taxi, noticing when he wanted her address, questioning why he rode and got out with her
So we all have to be heartless zombies in the work place. Strictly forbidden from our own nature. I as a human have the right to tell someone they smell nice, without fear of sexual harrassment claims
Focusing on one part of somebody’s argument completely misses the point. If you don’t think the perfume comment was harassment then that’s okay. But focusing on that misses the point that she made it clear that she didn’t like what he was doing and he still kissed her
charlie Hull yes it is sexual harassment! She removed his hand from her back! It is sexual harassment if the person you are doing this to are uncomfortable then its harassment
Jessica Johnson wtf yes she removed his hand that’s it so what you are saying is simply touching someone is sexual harassment you are the problem with the world rn
@@thecolourrose9022 but why did he kiss after that though i mean surely her removing his hand from her showed she has zero interest in him what so ever. you dont go around kissing people unless they have shown they are interested in you. read simple body language
I think he just doesn't know how to express his feelings, he was disrespecting her by touching her. She didn't speak up about her boundaries, but there may be a reason why she didn't. They both need a chat about boundaries, hostility brewing in a work environment, social cues, etc. I think he could use some female friends to tell him about escalation. He didn't have her consent either time. It was inappropriate and a teachable moment. Sexual harrassment include micro-aggressions...this was sexual harrassment. Imagine being in her shoes, some guy you work with who is persistently pursuing you and touches you like he touched her. It isn't okay, but look at how women are never getting justice. If you are raped in the military, they give the criminal 2 years, while you live an entire lifetime of pain. That is how much women matter....our souls forever altered by men who can't handle being near us- they take our lives away when they sexually harass us, when they sexually abuse us, when they sexually assault us and we never get justice. This is a global attack on women, this video barely permeates the surface of a very dangerous problem in humanity.
Utter dross. A global attack on women? You're clearly living under a rock. As men, we are 90% more likely to punish a fellow man harshly for their crimes, that wahmen. Go ahead and tell me, that prisons are crowded with more women than men, even though studies and research has shown women to be the prime physical aggressors in any scenario involving conflict/argument. Women are treated with kiddie gloves and infantilised and you think that empowering? You don't get to pick and choose equality.
@@DonReality They are raping men while being incarcerated now. Perhaps, men are the female substitution for incarcerated men. Perhaps, those unfortunate female substitutes need mercy, but they won't get it there.
Hand sliding down the back was where he crossed the line. The fact that she didn’t say anything is what caused him to think it was okay. He was testing the waters. Thus going farther and farther. She never corrected him.
Saying "you smell nice" in an open space/ office environment. No problem. Now, saying I smell nice when we look like we're in the basement and you are creeping on my shoulder would make me feel slightly uncomfortable. Not enough to file suit, but would definitely be in a list of awkward moments.
@@Tan87ful not really - the person at the end says that EVERYTHING he did was sexual harassment, even if you take each thing separately without the others (I disagree with this just to be clear...)
@Robert Johnson romance is fine between coworkers if its reciprocated as in your parents case both of them were interested. whats wrong is if you just kiss your coworker despite them showing zero interest what so ever. i mean when he touched her back she immediately pushed his hand away a clear sign yet he still kissed her. you dont just go around kissing your coworkers now when they dont want to. ofcourse he would be fired
I'm a different person at work. I'll laugh at colleagues jokes and be "pleasant", positive and put effort into making colleagues also feel positive, happy etc. There needs to be a clear distinction between work and leisure time. So any sexual approach should clearly be in leisure time. Go on a date etc.
I was fine with it until he told the taxi to leave and tried to kiss her. That was creepy, and very presumptous, like idk where you think you're going but it isn't up to my bedroom lol.
I am a guy and stuff like this happened to me at my work place from my female manager. At the end of her shift, she would always tell me "Devito I am waiting for a kiss." she would always kiss me without my consent. There was one time I was sitting down, I was 20 minutes early for my shift and she put her knee right in between my two legs and would ask me "babe can you start early?" There was another time I was walking and she hugged me from behind. Another incident happened where she said "Devito please don't make a mistake so I don't have to slap your bottom." The reason why I never reported this is because I am a guy and people would look at me as a pussy and they would assume that she likes me. Pretty sure that is also sexual harassment
For me the biggest red flag was when he insisted on getting her a cab, asking for her address and going with her, after she had said no thanks. If he can't read THAT...
gimmemoremusic exactly
gimmemoremusic he didn’t insist tbf
Yes he is bad at picking up grills
It is impossible to understand what women say anyway. When they say "no", they sometimes mean "yes" and sometimes "no". Now if I consider that as "no", she will accuse me that I do not understand her. And if that is "yes" from first, she will accuse me that "no" means no and I harassed her!
@@s.d.966 It's one thing if you are in a relationship and going back and forth. With a stranger or acquaintances assume they mean what they say. It takes a lot of courage to say no sometimes, plus you don't want anyone who's toying with you from the get go anyway.
If she moves your hand why tf would you go for a kiss
CozmicsHD exactly
Some women find it sexy when you disobey them and disrespect their boundaries. Hence why they're into bad guys
@@AhmedHassan-vq8ou maybe some do, but, unless you are absolutely sure she is one of them, it's best to take the rejection at face value, for you and for her.
@@AhmedHassan-vq8ou just no. That is the definition of rape.
he was feeling postive
Personally the perfume comment wouldn't have even crossed my radar and I would have laughed at the beauty and brains comment but the hand on the back sliding down would have definitely made me say something.
does not the no means no rule cover this then? my experience is that women are not so wan and are perfectly capable of setting boundaries for themselves. do we not risk killing sex by introducing all of these rules which require an awkward, sexless conversation? if a woman says no and a man continues then it is sexual harassment. a man trying it on is surely just a part of human nature. the more we remove and demonise sex within our society, the more frustration, desperation and confusion will result. we need sex and love and connection. without it we are lost. historically, times of great social justice revolution (late nineteen, early twentieth century/1920s/1960s/1980s) were also times of sexual liberation and empowerment for women to act as their own agents. no means no and it only needs to be said once. embarrassment and the risk of social castigation from a coherent society is usually enough to prevent repeat attempts. and if not there is the law. no means no means no. simple... ?
michael scott did it to jan
Sexual harassment is basically the womens way of turning an advantage into victimhood.Imagine if we say to men...hey guys if i press this button starting from tomorrow you ll get constant attention from women just for breathing....you ll have their attention,phone numbers,gifts just by..existing without any effort on your part and your only downside ll be to discourage the ones you dont like........do you think they ll think about it twice?
@@gdew The 'no means no' saying is misleading. Instead it should be 'yes means yes'. For the other person to have to say no to your actions the damage has already been done. You can't run a hand down a woman's back and cry 'she didn't say no' when she takes offense. You made the first move and you are responsible for your own actions. Just like I can't hit someone in the face with a brick and say 'Well he didn't say no. It was just a natural reaction to assholery. But if you don't want me to do it in the future, I guess I'll stop then and we're cool."
@@Dreamdancer11 Maybe not think about it, but they may regret it after a while. LOL!!!
I think context matters and it went from acting a bit inappropriate to sexual harassment when he was continuing to push after it's clear that she's not interested. The idea that 'she wants me, she just doesn't know it yet' is pretty gross.
it also depends on the person's some people don't receive or understand when someone's not interested especially say if they had autism or some kind of thing preventing socialisable behaviour.
Man that's tough. Well thank god sex robots are here.
What's the name of the song at the start
I guess you guys are just trying to be as offensive as possible to evoke a response and replying using my top comment to try and get more people to see it. Good luck with that.
The Fool I’m a woman- and I totally agree. But- the kiss and the arm around her waist would make me feel uncomfortable. More so awkward- and I’d comment and say not to do that shit again. Simple. “Sexual harassment”- I don’t think so. If this woman felt uncomfortable - she would have definitely said something and shouldn’t have gone into the taxi. Simple. What triggers me is that he was brought into court for some bullshit reason. No need for that. It could have been far worse. The comment he made- I don’t think men say shit like that lmao.
Shouldn't be touching her. Definitely shouldn't kiss her. Telling her that her perfume is nice is not sexual harassment.
Yeah when the woman at the end is like "you wouldn't say that to a man" I thought, I would definitely compliment a guy on his aftershave if he was wearing nice aftershave. I don't see how that's sexual harassment at all.
Men and woman both using touching to flirt thow the back is a sensitive area to touch. I dont think he should have got out the taxi at hers
I agree
But the lawyer thinks appreciating the perfume constitutes sexual harassment.... I have been told a couple of times "which cologne is that? ... you smell nice..." but maybe it's coz we men don't know what qualifies as sexual harassment against us
I think it's more about the proximity when he made that perfume comment
Complementing her perfume shouldn't be considered sexual harassment as a one off situation.
Edit: Coming back to this comment i made 3 years ago, my viewpoint is now:
When in another person's personal space in a work environment, complementing someone's perfume is definitely inappropriate and could be considered sexual harassment, such as the situation shown in the video.
However, If a relationship is more developed than purely a work relationship, I believe a retrospective complement outside of each others personal space can be acceptable, but again it's highly dependent on situational factors such as the relationship between the two persons.
There are complexities and nuances to such hypothetical situations. But in a work relationship, none of the performed behaviours are acceptable.
And I think within the context of the video and the portrayed characters, that situation in isolation is sexual harassment. Basically what the woman said at the end.
I don't know what I exactly thought when I made the original comment, but I definitely think I didn't recognise the contextual nuances of such situations, making an oversimplified comment.
@Oryx Noir Meh. If the work is in front of her and she doesn't want him looking over her, then she should move over and give him more space. Normally, you'd sit either side of the paper/computer so you don't have to/the situation doesn't occur where one person is invading the other person's personal space
Oryx Noir But that’s not what the lady at the end said. She said “would he say to a man, you’ve got nice perfume”. Well what if he did would that be such a big deal? I’ve had women complement me on the cologne I’m wearing at work. How is that sexual harassment?
#Worldsgonemad
No, definitely not. I personally would find it a bit weird but only because I'd expect another woman to say it, not a man. I wouldn't see that as a "signal"
@@bobsyouruncle1069 true, and if a male colleague sat so close to me that I felt uncomfortable I would just shift my chair over. It takes 2 seconds. That way if they meant it then it's a clear rejection of their advances, and if they didn't mean it then you've not actually said anything to make a big deal out of nothing.
To me the line that he crossed is making the comment while still in very close proximity. You might lean over temporarily to get a better look at the screen but holding that position for a long time is too intimate and should feel uncomfortable to both parties.
Leaning in to point or look at something on the screen, noticing the perfume, straightening back-up, attempting eye contact and then commenting would be fine.
4:26 That is the most ridiculous attempt to hide a balding head
I thought it was 2008
Pope Josh VII looooool most important part of the video 🤣
It'll do until he has toupee for a wig.
😂😂😂
What's wrong with that? I'd do the same when I'm younger
The only "signal" she was putting out was that she was uncomfortable around him and taking his hand off her back was a subtle way of her saying, "no."
MiraCarpathia exactly
I disagree with your statement...but I'm gonna try do it "subtlety " okay ?
It was subtle because it wasn't like she flat out said with her mouth "no" but she definitely didn't say "yes" so the guy should have asked her first before forcing anything on her.
Say no wtf can u just say no
@@mogabriel5238 right cause that totally works it's not like he might murder her or anything.
Complimenting perfume: A normal thing, not sexual harassment.
Hands on back: red flag, maybe harrasment
Kiss without permission and touching: yes, thats sexual harrasment.
good rule: if it feels wrong it probably is wrong
I agree dnt need a bbc agenda video to go with it
anon anon it’s good to educate people
Another good rule: If a woman says "no" it's safe to assume she means it, and if she doesn't it means she is playing stupid games and she is not worth your time.
@MR. Right What does this have to do with facts?
And what if it feels like a good thing for you but it turns out to be wrong afterwards? Can you answer that?
Ffs. If someone tells me my perfume or whatever spray smells nice, I’d be happy that someone was complimenting me. It would give me more confidence. There is a difference between harassment and complimenting.
There were plenty of signs, especially by the time she rejected his arm around her back at the party it should have been obvious she wasn't interested. The kiss came out of the blue, and he didn't even move in slowly to see if she reciprocated or backed away, he just took it.
And in what judicial book equals your criteria of what harassment is. I don't think it was illegal what he did.
And what document precisely explaint to you what signal means what. And how can you precisely reconize any of all those signals?
What i have learned is that social signals is unambiguously and that you can (easily) misinterpret that. That is (at least one of the reasons) why we have develop verbal language. So that it can unambiguously indications something.
Now do another one where the women is the aggressor. Often the women are much more aggressive in signalling and wanting to basically get laid when they find a guy they are attracted to. But women are rarely in the wrong or accused of harassment.
100%
That’d be interesting to see.
it's unlikely the guy would refuse her advances, unless he was already in a relationship or he was gay
I've seen and heard plenty of women grope and harass men as well
@@benparsons4979 yeah, well... Hate to disagree to a degree, but men can be uncomfortable just like women. They can just flat out not be interested. Just like women. Not all wanna get laid to someone they don't know. They're humans, too. Not all think with their penis.
If I were the guy, I'd stop after she removed the hands.
Complimenting someones perfume should not be considered harassment.
It's mainly down to how it made her feel. If you remember what the Solicitor said that if the intent wasn't there but it still makes their dignity feel violated then apparently that ticks the box to
*I've been told, many times, I smell good. Now I can sue the hell out of them. YES!*
Be careful and think for a moment cos it might not all be sexual harassment, some might just be honest, innocent compliments.
@@LightLife4 its a joke lol
if he thinks he can read the signals that she’s into him then he can definitely read the signals that she’s pushing him away and is uncomfortable
jo j 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
Why makes understanding one single equals understanding all singles?
And what is the meaning of every of all the signals in any situation?
And how does any of all that signals looks like? Can you explain me that. If you can't explain that than you have no idea either.
Assume nothing, ask everything, in case you didn't get the lesson
That's prob the best advice I've seen...If you don't ever want a relationship of any kind.
LDNballer you ready my mind 🤣🤣🤣🤣
sounds like a fun life lol
Society expects a man to assume tho as asking is deemed less confident and masculine
@@Ravage017 It does sound like a fun life.
Girls like me who have been a victim since I was 5 year old and continued to be sexually harassed into my senior year of high school by different men, you know you don’t like it and it makes you uncomfortable but everyone is different and someone with low self esteem find it very hard to say no and stop it of that makes me uncomfortable early on and it quickly leads up to a point that you never wanted to go with a person. Just because their is not spoken words of No their is so much body language that says I don’t like that. Also we as women don’t want to assume all guys are “pigs” who keep pushing until they get what they want we try to give them the benefit of the doubt and that can quickly get a girl in a situation she doesn’t want if a guys has an Entitled opinion about himself
I had 2 friends which I think I hurt when I was drunk, I was told I grabbed the waist and disrespected them but nobody noticed that the girls were uncomfortable, but a part of me was present at that moment he was screaming at me to stop but for some reason, I just didn't stop. The next day I apologised and confessed to all my mates at the party I think I sexually assaulted her but they dismissed me. Idk how I could make it up. I will change I just can't forgive myself as they were there for me when I needed them most and I let them down.
*I will most likely delete this comment as I am embarrassed *
The moment she shook off his hand from her back, he should've known that she wasn't interested. Anything beyond that point is too forward/harassment.
Mike Fox exactly
Argument: "Well she should have said no".
You shouldn't have to explicitly tell your coworker that you don't want be kissed. Also, if you follow that reasoning, the guy never once verbally said, "hey I like you, do you want to go out/what are your feelings?" either. He just assumes she does with no evidence. Especially combined with certain physical cues she gives him that she is *not* into it. The golden rule is "active consent". If someone is just giving in or says ok after you nag them, that is not consent. If she were actively flirting back then that's the cue to start a conversation and make intentions clear on both sides.
Exactly 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
Very good point!
I shouldn't have to explicitly ask her out, what about all these I have perfected over the years?
"dude there's nothing happening here, back off" is NOT asking much.
''You shouldn't have to explicitly tell your coworker that you don't want be kissed''
Then how the hell do you know for 100% certainty if she want to be kissed by you?
I have never heart that bunce of nonsense. But whatever. You are just a human on the internet.
Imo it was fine until he touched her back.
I think no guy ever touched your back.
I would find it a nice thing if someone touch my back. Or actually, it depends on who touches my back. If i don't like it i would say it. A lot of you women seems to stupid/shy/coward to do that.
@@azisdebestify you're the most sensible woman here.
Agreed; when he touched her back she was clearly uncomfortbale - that should have been the 'tell' to not try to go for the kiss in the end; so idk where she sent those signals he referenced. Prior to the back touch, to call that sexual harrassment is sooooo harsh - if you're interested in some1 this is how you let them know and its how we phish to see if a woman wud be interested. Im happy to see that a woman thinks this way tho
Right
I swear some guys are clueless. Like they really didn’t see any of the signs that she was uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’m a woman and I can put myself in her shoes and understand how uncomfortable I would feel. There’s just this constant need for authority with some guys
Context is so important. The clip starts off as just flirting which is fine but when you can't or refuse to read the signals but continue to push then that's sexual harassment which I feel this showed fairly well
Oh fr like dude she wanted your arm off her back yet you think she wanted to kiss you? No your not stupid guy you just didn't care
1. Complimating someone shouldn't be sexual harrasment.
2. Touching someones back and they take your hands off them gives you a warning.
3. kissing someone without permission is Sexual harrasment, if someone doesn't say yes or both don't go in for a kiss just don't do it.
in number 3 suck my knowlege because sexual herasment is about rape
Well you’re complimenting because you’re sexually charged, that’s why it’s considered harassment.
Women are often scared of men because they get violent when being turned down, so often they stay quiet out of fear.
Yes the kissing is far out of order especially when the advances were so one sided.
"Would you say to a man nice purfume?".. Yes?
In my opinion a boss shouldn’t go for an employee it’s unprofessional
It's sexual harassment to tell someone that their perfume smells nice?? I'm sexually harassed every time I put on my cologne then. I don't see hiw telling someone that they smell nice (which they set out to do by wearing perfume in the first place) is me trying to shame them based on their gender.
As for the hand on her back, at least give him a chance to shoot his shot because he has to go to court over it. Push his hand away and tell him you're not interested rather than make him a criminal. If he persists, then have it be illegal because at that point it's been made clear that she's not interested and from that point it's clearly harassment.
Kissing is different. I think that if there's no chemistry whatsoever and he forces himself onto you, it should be sexual assault based on the circumstance. However, misreading signals should not have you risk going to jail.
Preach! There are plenty of peeps out there on the autism spectrum, which means reading body language does not come easily to them...
Well said
She did say „no it’s fine“ many times...that is a no
Here's the thing that he did right (Not Sexual Harassment):
- Complimenting her perfume
There's the things he did wrong:
- Ask for her address
- Not using consent of kissing and Touching her
This is me before quarantined.
I am learning Sexual Harassment, Sexual Assault, etc.
My thoughts is: Don't be stupid, don't give them an uncomfortable, don't stalk, etc.
@Jude Flux *You're trying to use logic here.*
It was determined that the law considers EVERYTHING he did to be sexual harassment. Complimenting the perfume was something he'd not have done to a male colleague, and because he is heterosexual then it is considered sexually objectifying the woman. I think the key context here is that they are work colleagues.
@However Forman And yet you are unaware of the laws surrounding sexual harassment as EVERYTHING he did is considered sexual harassment by law. The feelings or reaction of the woman is irrelevant if the intention is to sexually objectify the victim.
The hand on the back, she moved it off clear sign. The kiss was missread and definitely not in the right place but the verbal comments clearly can't have been.
It WASN'T a clear sign. What if she meant, hey im not doing this at work, maybe later.
@@shreshth231 Agreed, I also got "maybe later" signs from that, I got "try again next time" from the kiss scene too... Maybe I'm wrong... But this comment section shows that "signals" should not be the basis of social and legal sanctions. All of this can be resolved by the guy being clear, and the woman being clear.
This Kat girl also sexually harasses another colleague. In the episode she undoes the top buttons of another barmaid. Surely that is sexual harassment too.
Yeah! I have been to parties where I saw women trying to forcibly kiss another woman!
I think us men need to see it from the women's perspective, we need to be aware of personal space and how we may be making them uncomfortable. There are so many grey areas with this kind of debate that it is best in my opinion to veer on the side of caution. Sometimes misread signals are due to the fact that the male may just wish she fancied him back and this may not be the case.
how about if a woman did this on a man
If a man rejects a female coworkers advances cue gay rumours and whispering campaign.
What like female teachers on 12 year old boys
Nothing will happen, in fact the man will be told his to soft or gay or sensitive or to man up. Double standard.
Same thing. Sexual harassment
sugabud you sound triggered. Your not fit enough to debate logically, unfortunately I won’t be taking you serious. Have a great night.
I’m a woman and I find it confusing actually. Here’s why.
A few years ago, I worked for someone. Now I had, sometimes, comical sexual banter, with another colleague. But, then, the guy I worked for suddenly started turning his attention towards me. Lots of staring and some sexual innuendo, for a few years. I’d always found him quite attractive but, never let on as, he was my boss and married. So, I considered it a dead end. But, when he started staring, I was at first, confused as, he was also a pretty angry sort and I didn’t think he liked me, anymore than anyone else there. So, I initially, took the staring as intimidation and glaring. It got to the point where, when I was dropping something off in his office and was exiting, he said, “And make it SEXY!” I was shocked - but, quite flattered. When I returned to hand him something he took it, looked at me and said, “Now, is THIS sexy?” Again, I was flattered.
So, for me, whether I was interested/flattered or not, the question was, what was his intent? Was it to harass me OR was he actually interested in me?
I know no one can answer that here. But, I’d bet it has been a burning question, for a number of other women, because what if they found themselves actually interested, in a man who was sexually harassing them, but they thought it was genuine interest? That, too, is trouble. No woman wants to get involved with a man, who was feigning interest, when he was actually harassing her.
It’s almost as if, it’s sometimes considered sexual harassment, if it’s in the workplace, but just life, outside of the workplace and I don’t say this, because I’m minimizing sexual harassment. I’m sure many women have had a terrible time, with a man, who is sexually harassing them.
I can also imagine a woman accusing a genuinely-interested man of sexual harassment and him being horrified that she thought that’s what it was. Just confusing to both sides.
He is not a Gentleman. He was looking for one thing & was determined to get it. He thought only of himself , not of her.
I mean nnaahhh he wanted it so he tried to get it😂if we were all like that and none of us advanced we would just sit and look at each other, think about it lad
@The Fool But they are ok with pedophilia, apparently.
How do you know that for sure?
I just watched the full thing. The barrister at the end really opened my eyes.
Complimenting a woman's perfume is sexual harassment but complimenting another guys perfume isn't?
Touching someone's shoulder is sexual harassment?
Treating someone less fabouribly because they rejected your advancements is sexual harassment? What are you supposed to do? Keep treating them special?
Damaging a woman's dignity without intent?
The last 3 I mentioned is openly done many young women. Is the law trying to end all reproduction and end human civilization?
One guy at the end said "I'm now gonna rely on women advancing on to me". the game is rigged, it's not safe for men anymore
There's a difference between special treatment and common decency
Damn right
Wow so I guess I’ll have the fbi to my door cause I told a few people how lovely they smelled 😱
DEAD x ROSExGaming 😂😂I don’t think it will come down to that
Same here, just told my girl she called the police immediately.
She said that is too much restrictions.
😂
Lol
I think it was sexual harassment after she pushed his hand away and the perfume comment isnt- but put together with telling the taxi to leave and kissing her- it should be considered sexual harassment.
I completely agree that was a clear sign she wasn't interested and him continuing after that was him knowing his advances were unwanted.
The barrister who enters at the 4:35 mark has misandry written all over her face. She is the sort of person who has campaigned for law changes pertaining to heterosexual relationships and I wouldn't mind betting she has enjoyed little success HERSELF with men. Moving on, though, the entire 56 minute documentary, of which this is just a take out, is well put together and thought provoking. Lots of issues to talk about here. 1. Workplace flirting has led to many long term relationships over the years and has probably been the most reliable venue for finding long term partners. 2. Women never look as appealing as when at work. 3. Women are attracted to successful men -alpha males ... including high ranking employees. 4. Line managers are in a very powerful position in 'employer's markets' such as exists today and in which employees are beholden to them for references. 5. It is common for men in hierarchically superior workplace positions to trade on their advantages to appease their sexual desires. 6. Men are traditionally expected to be the play-makers and are always the ones at risk of making a bad judgment. 7. Women are turned on by male confidence. 8. The laws have morphed to the point where it is at big loggerheads with biology/human sexio-psychology. 9. Workplace gender segregation is probably not feasible. ERGO WE ARE F$#&@D!
Why there are guys who obviously make you feel uncomfortable? And its clear to see. Still keep on doing what they are doing? What is it with trying to violate a persons boundaries? I think its disgusting.
I just started a new job. I’m a woman. When another woman is training me at my job she’s been accidentally on purpose touching my leg. I think it’s harassment disguised as accidents. She’s done it several times in the same manner. I like my new job but I don’t want to be harassed not by a man or woman. I’m trying to figure out how to confront her without making a scene - we work in cubicles. Or what if it’s truly accidents?
All men and boys should know or be told about the cut off line between banter and harassment..... the same for men who get harassment from women !!!!
But you mention men first why?
That will never happen until the feminist movement is in charge of the legislation regarding sexual crimes. In Britain and most countries, a woman forcing a man into sex is not rape. Also, the victim has to pay child support to his rapist, if she gets pregnant. Even if the men was a child at the time of the conception.
Can you precisely explain to me WHAT the cut off lines are now you start about it?
And u mention men first why
I feel like those singular acts alone (touching her back, complimenting her perfume, even the kiss) do NOT constitute sexual harassment.
What would be sexual harassment is what ended up happening here. Spurring his sexual advances DIRECTLY CAUSED her job termination. Also, the fact that he kept going after each incident, instead of stopping when she demonstrated discomfort.
Sounds sexist, but women have the advantage in these type of situations all the time.
Advantage(!!!!) of getting sexual assult and so called advantage(!) of lack of self defense and being totally desperate.
@@kadriyesemaakbas1643 Can you precisely explain to me what the right and only right appropriate approach is to you. Because it is never been explained to anyone what the precise one way of approach is. We men have always to guess if this is the right approach. And you can see by this video that that men tried what he think was a good approach but now you hear some of the women in this video complained that it was the wrong thing to do. It is pretty easy for you that a women like you is never been conditiond by society to take the first step without been told what the one way of appropriate approach is.
@@azisdebestify Dude. If you like someone. Treat them respectfully. Talk to them. Ask them out. Don't comment on their looks or randomly touch them or kiss them. It really is that simple.
@@kadriyesemaakbas1643 of shut up men get harrased by men all the time some even touched but y'all don't do shit about it it is sexist
I’ve been groped several times, men can be sexually harassed as well
!TW!
I’m confused. When I was younger, my uncle kept pinching my a** whenever he hugged me/ I hugged him. He would hug me, pinch my a** and play it of as a kind of running “mosquito” joke.
As a kid that obviously made me uncomfortable because it hurt(I wasn’t aware of what sex and those kinds of things meant because of my age). I kept telling him to stop. But he wouldn’t, not even my parents told him to stop, they all just treated it as a big joke.
After a while, obviously, I didn’t want to hug him anymore when I saw him, but he would always guilt trip me , manipulate me and/or use my parents to make me hug him. Shit like “aw but why won’t you give uncle a hug, uncle loves you”. But it happened everytime we went to his house.
Im glad that around the age of 8/9 I moved out of the country we lived in and into England, but now that I’m more mature and understand these things I feel u comfortable with what happened and feel I might’ve been assaulted in a way.
I’m just so confused and conflicted because on one side I feel that it wasnt okay and that I was assaulted as a child, but on the other I always feel invalid because of things my parents say. Things like “ oh but he didn’t have anything bad on his mind”, “he’s a good man, he’s got like 5 kids” , ect.
Could anyone help me figure out if it was sexual assault or something else?
I have little respect for BBC 3 in general. The male character is very much a straw man. I know people like this in life but none are that far. He comes across as forward but overly forward in a creepy way. It seems very unnatural behaviour but I’ll pin that down to the script in general as it was trying to play scenarios. Complimenting someone’s appearance isn’t demeaning their intelligence or objectifying them, it’s just a compliment. That he was sitting so close to her and for her to smile and seem comfortable could easily be seen as a sign she likes him. The arm thing was very forward but her playing it off was pretty clear she wasn’t interested at that point. The compliment came off as creepy as is the theme of this character but a throw away line like this to someone who he seems quite close with isn’t much. She also didn’t show much of a reaction to it which furthers this. The cab was weird. He again one dimensionally came off as really creepy getting in the taxi with her and getting out. The kiss as well was strange but there was only one extremely minor incident where she reacted negatively and it was the very forgettable brush of the arm. When as infatuated with someone as he seems to be he’ll be making up signs in his head so it’s not as if there was anything that stood out. We all text stuff like that to our friends about crushes and all he really said is that he’d work his charm. Overall another odd video fitting the BBC3 narrative and only getting one barrister who clearly had a bias was a low move. The characters were exaggerated and creepy but he was non threatening overall and didn’t challenge her rejections or become aggressive with her in any way
1. she gave her consent 1:46
2. She was smiling after the kiss 1:33
3. She never said no
4. Removing hand from the back sometimes girls do that first 1 or 2 times then they let you do it is not a big deal unless she particularly says no
5. Complimenting perfume is not a sexual harassment
6. Complimenting beauty with brains is not sexual harassment
7. Men usually take the initiative
so if every move they make is sexual harassment
then how will couples form, intimate relationships start or reproduction will occur???
8. If it was harassment why didn't she stop hanging out with her or why didn't she stop talking to him??
5:02. WHAT!
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHAT?
What is WHAT?
WHAT?
No woman should have to say no for men to back off. She moved his hand away and that should be enough to convey a lack of interest. Pushing for more even after such a circumstance is undoubtedly harassment. Great video BBC, and an important one to make in these times. Perfect for sparking discussion around a subject that needs discussing.
I don’t think the perfume comment should constitute as sexual harrassment, I think there’s a grey area between being uncomfortable and being harassed. That’s why I don’t even think the hand on the back thing was sexual harrassment, but everything that came after that could be seen as harrassment because she expressed signals of discomfort clearly and he still tried to pursue
That’s just how I see it 🤷🏾♀️
That deserved a much more nuanced conversation. Majority of relationships start in the work place and people have different definitions on what's okay so there needs to be a consensus because this isn't gonna go away any time soon
after she moved his hand it should be obvious she wasn’t interested... there’s nothing wrong with trying to flirt and showing interest but if you receive clear signals the other person isn’t interested and keep on going that’s harassment
Ladies and gentelmen we got em
The point is that it shouldnt factor into work. You are there to work together, and are equals in terms of being human (even if you hold different positions) and can expect to be treated with respect and dignity.
She may have wanted to say something back in regards to the 'beauty and brains' or back touching but because of the imbalanced power dynamic and risking her job she wouldnt - the absence of negative signals is hardly giving off good signals
Consent is a fundamental requirement of pursuing romantic interests. Otherwise it’s coercion, sexual harassment, and rape.
I understand that women sometimes fear the reactions people might have if they give them a direct rejection. I think they need to make that rejection nonetheless, and if someone lashes out, that is harassment, and that should be actionable. I don't like this idea that "If you know she's into you" it's fair game, precisely because signals can be misread. You need a definitive confirmation of feelings before you can proceed. If you don't have that yet, you should ask for it, and risk rejection. Perhaps you're worried about how she would react if you asked her how she feels about you, and that's why you don't ask but just proceed as though she likes you. Well, maybe you can use that perspective to sympathize with why a woman might not want to give you the direct rejection. Everyone needs to be more conscientious.
First off, he’s in a position of power. He already works at the bar. She’s just started. She wants to fit in and not cause trouble for herself. He doesn’t take no for an answer when she wants to order her own taxi. He finds out her address. Gets out of the taxi with her. At no point did she show she was interested. He made numerous comments. She didn’t reciprocate. “She should have definitely have said something” and risk messing up her job and the job environment?
It already got tawdry. Both people have to do their part. When one doesn't should it be allowed to spiral?
I honestly think the best approach is to do the 'Hitch'. Like in the movie the best way if you are not sure about a girl's feelings when you lean in for a kiss you should lean in 90 percent of the way and let her lean the rest of 10 percent. That way you are definitely giving her the signal that you like her and want to kiss her and at the same time you give her the chance to say ''sorry I don't see you that way'' or something like that. And that is that. The other things were ok, except the hand, a hand on the upper back in the club it's ok, but the sliding down it's not.
I'm done with flirting others & I'm done with falling in love. Love sucks!!! Especially when it's just 1-sided & if not careful, it always ended bitter with rejection but worse, sexual harassment. I am an unlucky man when it comes to flirting. All my love interest unfortunately are 1-sided & I've been victimized with reject after reject after reject. 1 of the rejects even got me in trouble for sexual harassment, but luckily, that girl who reported on me still say to me that "I'm still a good person & it's just an accident" in the end & they drop the charges.
I tried my best to be a better man. I hit the gym, I focus on my work & I even tried to do good deeds in helping others around me. I even seek relationship advisement from a psychiatrist & a relationship coach & tried to follow their advice. When opportunity of a love interest appear in front of me, I took that opportunity. Of course, I move with caution! Or so I thought... But sadly, don't know why, no matter how hard I tried, I always ended up rejected & these rejects hurt me so much, it even hurt me psychologically too. I don't know who I am anymore... Am I a monster to others around me?
Because of this shock in my life, I give up on flirting. To prevent further suffering, I engage in my religion of Buddhism & started to practice what Buddhist monks do, which is to cut myself away from society & just focus on living my life & doing well in my work & nothing more. Whoever decides to come into my life, I welcome them with open arms & hospitality, but if they decide to leave, I let them be. Why do I have to bother chasing them & pleading them to be my friend like before where it resulted in rejection & harassment to occur?
Overall, flirting is hard & I accept that some men have skills to flirt without creating harassment out of it. Some men have to learn the flirting skills. Whereas some men like me, no matter how hard they tried, they're not destined to flirt women.
This video did nothing for me sexually
Not for me 😏😏
this is why I love the internet
Why would it you creep?
Personally, I wouldn't mind someone complimenting my perfume. However, I WOULD mind someone touching my back, especially if their hand then went down to my waist. That's a definite no no.
What would have happened if it was the guy who was being harassed, what would be the response?
Make a video like this then but with the the man being harassed then and see how people react then
I would say exactly the same as hers. If she reported him after he didn't kiss her he would have probably taken it further. If she didn't report him he would have probably just continued to put up with it as she would have.
A girl once acted like that. She is my girlfriend now.
@@Grace0724 they do nothing about women harrassing men
@@jessicajohnson2412 it won't get attention unless it's on a huge platform and women would still deny it and not care
Touching her back isn't sexual harassment
Smelling her perfume isn't sexual harassment
Getting her a drink isn't sexual harassment
However after getting rejected each time and still carrying on it is sexual harassment. And kissing her like that is too - he didn't even give her a chance to lean out. Whenever you have a position of power you should be even more careful not to act so irresponsibly. The question is, what punishment should he get for his actions? At the end of the day, there are far worse people doing far worse things who deserve to be severely punished far more than this guy. I'm not sure he deserves to go to prison for this.
The slide from her shoulder to her hip, id say don’t do that pal. I’d put the lad strait.
I was approached by a stranger in a cafe who had sat next to me. He asked me a question. He had been talking to another older women next to him and kept the banter civil. As I was reading and sat not facing this man, he reached out and touched my hand in stroking weird way as I was writing. I said you have no right to touch my hand - it is inappropriate. He said. I am sorry but your hand was so smooth.
At that point I said I do not want your attention. He then started to insult me and spoke as of I was his partner, making personal comments and was being intimate. I stood up, raised my voice and said you have no right to sit next to me, touch my hand and start insulting me. Then I said I d call the police and hit him if he approached me. I raised my voice even louder. No one came to help me. So I walked away with my stuff to the toilet being insulted by him. When I came out he had gone but I still had to leave not knowing if he was around or not. This is happening more frequently than usual.
Men are behaving like depraved incivil revolting sex obsessed out of control persons and need to take anti testosterone medicine to get a grip. It is not ok to objectify women as fair game. Now I have to learn self defence again as I truly have had enough at 61 I want peace and quiet. Disgusting
Society gone mad
So mad
@Ninja - rape is surely unacceptable and nobody support it.
As far as I remember the content of this video, no rape is shown here.
This video rather taught me that telling a woman she smells good is already an act of sexual harassment
lol
Hence our friend saying "society gone mad"
Even the girls are saying the profume part is nit sexual harassment.
As she shook his hand of her back it was the clear SIGNAL for me.!
Personally the perfume comment wouldn’t be a problem for me, the women at the end saying he wouldn’t say that to a man maybe not , maybe he’s not interested in men sexually so complimenting someone’s perfume is I think simply a kind thing
The pushing away the hand from her hip would've been enough for me, I'd of also felt so ashamed/embarrassed that I even assumed that I wouldn't of pursued any further. I also am very moronic when it comes to 'signals', I actually stopped making advances a long time ago. I have been with my girlfriend for six months now, but before that I was going into clubs and not assuming I could dance with a girl, despite them pushing back up onto me because of the pressing concern that I was assuming too much. A bit OTT, but it is dangerous to assume things nowadays, especially with the ever-mounting pressure from the media on toxic masculinity and tarnishing all blokes as scum bags(check out Gillette for confirmation).
Absolutely shocking and disappointing that complimenting a woman on her perfume is sexual harassment. A compliment can get you in trouble ? Poor
It depends on how it's said, and the nature of the compliment.
Why do we always talk about sexual harassment as if it's always Women that are the victims?
once a colleague of mine at work was accused of sexual harassment for looking at a women while eating pizza. no talking, no touching, no compliments. The best solution is don't work with women. the good old days are gone.
And this encourage MGTOW
Kalvin Labuik so true.. I really don’t like what women have become
of course, this is all sexual harassment if a man does it, if a woman does it, then she is simply "strong and independent" and if the man refused her, then again it is his fault!
She didn't say no yet she also didn't say yes so what gives him the right to kiss her
“she hasn’t told him no” well he never asked her consent. it’s not up to women to say no, it’s up to people to ASK for CONSENT
Female: "touches men’s body"
Media: haha cool
:
Men:"touches women’s body"
Media: oMg hE sHouLd Be iN Jail
I'm honestly surpised the barrister claims the perfume comment is sexual harassment and I really don't think it should be. I often compliment both men and women on their appearance and smell if I feel it stands out and it just seems wrong to make a comment about perfume sexual harassment. I have also never been told anything I said was offensive.
Also, the fact the barrister says "would he say to a man, 'you've got nice perfume'?" is said in a tone that implies the man wouldn't, yet there are people who do. This is very tricky ground and I fear can be misused.
I don’t understand how complimenting her perfume is sexual harassment. Perhaps a bit random and odd, but sexual harassment?
Kovu Kingsrod it’s not even odd. He’s just complimenting her choice of perfume.
His behaviour is inappropriate. She's clearly not interested. He deserves a talking to by his boss and maybe a warning, not a criminal proceeding. She has grounds to complain but let's not get the Police involved until after she's actually told him "no" and he persists with physical or psychological abuse.
ArcanePath360 exactly 💯💯👏🏽👏🏽
In my time looking at stuff like this and also experiencing similar situations and you end up getting advice from other dudes and women even family on how to get a women. Its difficult to read someone. Body language is not enough. Even at my last job I asked a few chicks on something like this why don't they just tried to get to know the guy first before jumping in a relationship with them in under a week. They said a lot of girls dont like that. I have seen a video if a man asking women would you prefer a guy to ask to kiss you or just go for it. They talk shit about the guy that would ask. Women make it difficult on use by making a super fine line between flirting and sexual harassment. But they want us to make the first move. That move could put us into hand cuffs.
That's very valid concern. They need to obliterate the expectation for guys to make the first move and encourage more women to make the first move. If we can encourage that and keep it at socially acceptable environments i.e bars, clubs, social events, friend circles, etc. This could help.
yeah also he said "i got signals" and that she led him on, essentially blaming her for the uncomfortable situation, but she explicitly DID NOT do that--> pushing his hand away, denying him to get her a taxi, noticing when he wanted her address, questioning why he rode and got out with her
So we all have to be heartless zombies in the work place. Strictly forbidden from our own nature. I as a human have the right to tell someone they smell nice, without fear of sexual harrassment claims
👏🏼👏🏼
Ofc u do. If u are a woman. Otherwise it's sexual harassment.
Focusing on one part of somebody’s argument completely misses the point.
If you don’t think the perfume comment was harassment then that’s okay. But focusing on that misses the point that she made it clear that she didn’t like what he was doing and he still kissed her
None of that is sexual harassment as the women said she didn’t say anything
charlie Hull yes it is sexual harassment! She removed his hand from her back! It is sexual harassment if the person you are doing this to are uncomfortable then its harassment
Jessica Johnson wtf yes she removed his hand that’s it so what you are saying is simply touching someone is sexual harassment you are the problem with the world rn
It’s always the unattractive ones too, lmfao
@@thecolourrose9022 but why did he kiss after that though i mean surely her removing his hand from her showed she has zero interest in him what so ever. you dont go around kissing people unless they have shown they are interested in you. read simple body language
taz874 no? Lmao
What is the song at the beginning?
this just makes me nervous to be alive
Apparently nowadays you complimenting a lady is considered sexual assault
Only if she finds you "ugly"! 🤣🤣🤣
@@mrconfusion87 that's true
I think he just doesn't know how to express his feelings, he was disrespecting her by touching her. She didn't speak up about her boundaries, but there may be a reason why she didn't. They both need a chat about boundaries, hostility brewing in a work environment, social cues, etc. I think he could use some female friends to tell him about escalation. He didn't have her consent either time. It was inappropriate and a teachable moment. Sexual harrassment include micro-aggressions...this was sexual harrassment. Imagine being in her shoes, some guy you work with who is persistently pursuing you and touches you like he touched her. It isn't okay, but look at how women are never getting justice. If you are raped in the military, they give the criminal 2 years, while you live an entire lifetime of pain. That is how much women matter....our souls forever altered by men who can't handle being near us- they take our lives away when they sexually harass us, when they sexually abuse us, when they sexually assault us and we never get justice. This is a global attack on women, this video barely permeates the surface of a very dangerous problem in humanity.
Sim Simas exactly 💯💯👏🏽👏🏽
exactly. often women are too scared to say anything as they fear they wont be believed
Utter dross. A global attack on women? You're clearly living under a rock. As men, we are 90% more likely to punish a fellow man harshly for their crimes, that wahmen. Go ahead and tell me, that prisons are crowded with more women than men, even though studies and research has shown women to be the prime physical aggressors in any scenario involving conflict/argument. Women are treated with kiddie gloves and infantilised and you think that empowering? You don't get to pick and choose equality.
@@DonReality They are raping men while being incarcerated now. Perhaps, men are the female substitution for incarcerated men. Perhaps, those unfortunate female substitutes need mercy, but they won't get it there.
He needs female friends? The men watching picked up on sexual harassment far earlier than the women.
Hand sliding down the back was where he crossed the line. The fact that she didn’t say anything is what caused him to think it was okay. He was testing the waters. Thus going farther and farther. She never corrected him.
The men on the show barely argued.
That's because the men were threatened with termination of their jobs if they tried to defend him
Saying "you smell nice" in an open space/ office environment. No problem. Now, saying I smell nice when we look like we're in the basement and you are creeping on my shoulder would make me feel slightly uncomfortable. Not enough to file suit, but would definitely be in a list of awkward moments.
I can feel her fear like it's my own
Men are going to be that scared to speak to women, that men will ignore them.
I saw nothing wrong here ... he made a move and she let him know she’s not interested ...BUT if you like your job don’t dip you pen in the company ink
hfredydl However, it looks like he got her fired from the job. That’s the problem here that was shown from this video.
@@Tan87ful not really - the person at the end says that EVERYTHING he did was sexual harassment, even if you take each thing separately without the others (I disagree with this just to be clear...)
Oh shit is that me?
@Robert Johnson romance is fine between coworkers if its reciprocated as in your parents case both of them were interested. whats wrong is if you just kiss your coworker despite them showing zero interest what so ever. i mean when he touched her back she immediately pushed his hand away a clear sign yet he still kissed her. you dont just go around kissing your coworkers now when they dont want to. ofcourse he would be fired
I'm a different person at work. I'll laugh at colleagues jokes and be "pleasant", positive and put effort into making colleagues also feel positive, happy etc. There needs to be a clear distinction between work and leisure time. So any sexual approach should clearly be in leisure time. Go on a date etc.
I was fine with it until he told the taxi to leave and tried to kiss her. That was creepy, and very presumptous, like idk where you think you're going but it isn't up to my bedroom lol.
mean bean except 😂😂👏🏽💯
I am a guy and stuff like this happened to me at my work place from my female manager. At the end of her shift, she would always tell me "Devito I am waiting for a kiss." she would always kiss me without my consent. There was one time I was sitting down, I was 20 minutes early for my shift and she put her knee right in between my two legs and would ask me "babe can you start early?" There was another time I was walking and she hugged me from behind. Another incident happened where she said "Devito please don't make a mistake so I don't have to slap your bottom." The reason why I never reported this is because I am a guy and people would look at me as a pussy and they would assume that she likes me. Pretty sure that is also sexual harassment