Відео

I can especially relate to the enjoyment of connection without expectation. I wonder what it would feel like to be comfortable in a relationship.

Oh crap a lot of this sounds like me😅 but I thought I was an anxious attachment and to tuned into my feelings.

This is so helpful!! Thank you so much for sharing!!

I will say that although I’ve historically brought up the commitment talk, in my most recent relationship, I brought it up and the answer was so strongly affirmative that it made me uncomfortable. I definitely think the pace at which things moved was too quick for me

Thanks for sharing. I relate a ton.

I consider this video a PSA … very important for folks out here dating and have no idea what kind of emotional damage a DA can do to an unassuming non-DA

The things to look for and make your exit. Don't look back run the best thing you can do for yourself.

Why would they want to film in old historic place . Vampires. Ehhhh. I. - - Like see old places .

She’s very fearful avoidant. Been 6 months since the breakup, completely shut out. No acknowledgment at all. However.. she asked my friend about me in the gym, when he said he thinks we’ll get back together she never categorically said no and was saying hmm I don’t know. I’d like some advice on this

I believe #6 is the killer for most relationships with a DA. Secure folks have conflicts too but it gets resolved with communication even if it includes arguing. With a DA, there wont be a chance to argue cos they just shut down.

Thank you for this. I can use the personal tips, and I think videos like this are helpful to ask a partner to watch with me because you can articulate my core wounds and thought process better than I can express it myself. There's a little boy inside me who is broken by his parents being cold, distant, neglectful, unpredictably abusive and punishing based on arbitrary rules I did not understand, and by them forcing me to bury my needs/wants/dreams/desires and perform as a perfect Golden Boy accessory for them in public and at their Church. Unconditional love has never been part of my life experience. The world is a cold and hostile place and I am ALWAYS in enemy territory. I was only ever as loved as I was performing as the Golden Boy. More than 50% of my 18 years of childhood were spent in a state of punishment for my sins. I learned to silently scan other people, even those closest to me, every moment of every day and watch them for when they would inevitably disapprove of me and turn against me to hurt me. Other people are not necessarily "evil," but they can't be trusted with my secrets and vulnerabilities because when relationships sour and they don't feel happy with you, they will stab you with what you shared with them. I have learned that lesson so painfully that it feels like a literal involuntary life-and-death survival mechanism. Only shallow, arm-distance relationships in every part of my life. Breaking up relationships suddenly and leaving when I see them losing respect or love for me, before they can use my vulnerabilities to hurt me first. Leaving suddenly when I get overwhelmed with the emotional labor of soothing my partner and always burying myself. Sometimes I naturally fall into the "Golden Boy" boyfriend and it's outwardly amazing but I get emotionally exhausted until I can't perform it anymore. My own needs are always silently, painfully pushed down for the sake of appearances and preserving the peace. And when I sense that things are getting rocky and I can't recover it, I'm out instantaneously before the other person can hurt me first. I've literally had to fight against panic attacks while having normal intimate conversations about my feelings and I stop and can't get the words out because the risk of being wounded with that information later feels like I'm putting a gun to my own head (emotionally speaking). Telling a partner about something painful or an insecurity is like performing self-dentistry. Golden Boy is not EVER allowed to display negative emotions; if he does that, he's "selfishly ruining things for everyone else" and love is withdrawn away from him. I want to do better and do the work to heal, for my own quality of life and to be a better partner to people I care about. I had an anxiously attached partner at one point and I left suddenly and she didn't understand why. She didn't know I was dying inside and overwhelmed by my role and emotionally soothing her anxiety constantly. I don't want to do that to someone I care about again especially who cares about me.

Best video I have seen. I am a FA and you got it 💯 right

So true. The bullying part. Tough to trust after that.

Yeah I don't think so. My DA wife just ghosted, went off and started immediately an affair with an ex from a long time ago. Didn't take her any time to hook up with the other bloke.

I see yhe needl moving in 15 months but it is so slow that my Feelings are changed by now.

I am fearful avoidant so i can see where he is coming from but i would so much like for him to get me. Never an emotional word. Its so cold and distancing.

Good stuff! I also think we should never try to change someone because it isn't kind. It can be so painful when someone chooses to walk away, but we become stronger as we learn our own boundaries.

I was programmed that appearances were very important. I grew up in a very religious home and the family's preferences were heavily influenced by that of the church.

Great video! I liked how you mentioned texting and getting needs met. We all have them sometimes it's just so tough to admit it! I think I am dismissive avoidant.

Great video - pretty sure these traits define me.

Thanks for this. I’ll have to listen again because I know there’s more for me to absorb on this subject.

this is beautiful thank you so much

Excellent brief accounts. All of your work is very informative. Thank you! 😊

Thank you! True!

Every word of your video was mind blowing! I have been studying attachment theory for awhile and have "watched all the videos." Thank you for confirming I'm actually an FA leaning AP which I recently suspected and have been trying to figure out. How can I find out more about your coaching services?

Amazing Video

Excellent tutorials - all are thank you!

I got turned into that person

Dismissive Avoidant ?

“ being for a solution instead of against a problem“ thank you. ❤

Thanks.

“Engaging the body in a relaxing positive experience daily. “ Thank you.

Thank You so much Coach for posting this one. I searched Internet extensively regarding the same but couldn't get the clarity. U made it to simple. ✨✨

I was in relationship with a DA without knowing they have this attachment style. I learned a lot.

Amazing video! For people like me I really love to learn new skills especially things I find practical. I learned that if I want to get some trade skills I could volunteer for Habitat for Humanity and learn carpentry, electrical, and plumbing, while donating my time to help those in need get homes and other critical infrastructure.

I love this message

Please make video on traits of FA leaning Dismissive. FA leaning dismissive and Dismissive Avoidants are same?

great video!

Hi thank you for making these videos I’ve been watching your videos for a while now (here and there) I am a FA, I feel very seen when it comes to your knowledge of FA’s. You and I have commented back and forth on the first FA video you made and part two was even more spot on for me. I’ve been doing a lot of learning on my own but I’m starting to feel like walking/learning with a professional may benefit me. I went to your website to look for pricing and testimonials and your credentials (where/how you got your education) but didn’t see anything, is there anyway I can get more information on these things. 🙂

All very good, straightforward presentations. Thank you!

Just lost my nine year relationship with a DA… I had no idea about attachment styles before the breakup. Now I understand much better why she distanced from me and why even a slightly raised voice came across as yelling at her. I hope it’s not too late to adjust my behaviors.

Trait #1 - I cannot trust or else I will be betrayed Trait #2 - Hyper-vigilance Trait #3 - Presence / Ability to be Personable Trait #4 - Polarity of either over or under-achieving Trait #5 - Extreme trauma response - fight, flight, freeze or fawn Trait #6 - Volatility when triggered Trait #7 - Negative Emotions: Anger/Hurt/Frustration/Overwhelmed/Pressure/Anxiety/Guilt/Shame/Offense

Wow, very high quality, information packed. Subscribed, thanks!

I really liked how you compared certain aspects like extreme trauma responses to dismissive-avoidant attachment styles.

Clicked on this to learn more about myself

Thanks a lot of great info I haven't heard anywhere else

That's a really interesting insight thank you. I've only ever tested as having an anxious, and occasionally secure attachment. But I have always had the hyper vigilance, and your definition was spot-on! I also value a deep connection and enjoy deep and thoughtful conversations, which was very hard to get from my last relationship with a DA.

I can feel your channel really growing in the future. You explain these issues/feelings in such a grounded and straight forward way.

This is 100% me

This is me.