I watch a lot of educational videos regarding human psychology and emotion, but I've only recently learned much about the different types of attachment styles. I'd heard of them before, but didn't know much about them until a few days ago. I've watched hours upon hours of videos on several different YT channels and honestly, I think the knowledge that is being shared here is the most well explained and thorough of any of them. It isn't as performative or graphically enhanced as some, which maybe some people need in order to hold their attention - but it doesn't attack anyone and doesn't cater to anyone or encourage enabling, either. I feel like it's very neutral and informative with an emphasis on helping and educating and I greatly appreciate it.
That means so much, thank you!! and I'm honored that my little corner of the internet is one of those places💖(and on that second part, I know exactly what you're talking about and was reflecting on that recently actually! I've seen channels that display the attacking/catering/enabling and think it's quite toxic and has certainly turned me off to some places out there in cyberspace. It really shows 1) a lack of empathy 2) a lack of understanding and 3) that they are certainly taking others' behavior personally i.e. whatever attachment style they are attacking!) The thought that always crosses my mind when I see that is "How are you in this profession and it doesn't even cross your mind how you're making this group of people feel, who can easily come across this?" We all have attachment styles! And every single one of them has pros and cons, just like most things in life. Ok. rant over😅 I just want to let you know this comment absolutely made my night. 💖Thank you so, so much.
@@CoachSarahNicoleB I'm very glad that I was able to help make your night. I just re-watched the video. I think at this point, I consider myself as an FA with some Dismissive tendencies. My fiance is Avoidant as well, and I'm not trying to diagnose or label or categorize someone who isn't me, but from the decade that we've known each other I'd have to guess she's FA with strong Dismissive tendencies or DA with Fearful tendencies. We each seem to take turns acting Anxious as well with one or the other occasionally seeming to actually be Secure, right up until the other one starts running and then the secure goes poof and out comes anxious. It's a struggle at times and it's not like the rest of life stands still and waits for us to figure everything out in a bubble - whether either of us has a financial or family issue or whatever else, there are always all of those external factors that play into it. Working on it - and a lot of what you've shared in your videos have been extremely helpful in raising my awareness and understanding of how specifically to improve communication between one another. If I wasn't in a financial crisis at the moment, I'd be signing up for coaching 💯
I actually did not go through all of these questions with everyone! Some of them also came up more than others and I also had other avoidant thoughts in addition to the 6 I discussed in this video. They are very much automatic trauma responses that would come up for me in different scenarios. Two that come to mind is 1.) having a more anxious partner and they would come up with the person displayed activating strategies and 2.) when the person was 'all in' so to speak, when this person was in the mindset of jumping into everything with me forever and the only thing that would have to happen was me taking that step. this second scenario kind of felt like there was nowhere to run at the time, for lack of better words! I think it's also important to remember that there are tons of nuances in humans. Different people can share an attachment style but have different specific thoughts surrounding a shared wound. For healing, it is very important to examine exactly what your specific thoughts are around something (get as specific as you can) and question that story. When you get specific, you can effectively equilibrate that for yourself. For example, someone with the core wound 'I Am Unsafe' can emotionally translate to a feeling of being uncomfortable. This person can then ask themselves how they have comfort in their life and take action steps to support comfort such as make a cup of tea, spend time with a fur baby, or get cozy under their favorite blanket. I'm going a little on a tangent now! Great questions and thanks for your engagement💖
This is so helpful!! Thank you so much for sharing!!
Thanks for sharing. I relate a ton.
I watch a lot of educational videos regarding human psychology and emotion, but I've only recently learned much about the different types of attachment styles. I'd heard of them before, but didn't know much about them until a few days ago. I've watched hours upon hours of videos on several different YT channels and honestly, I think the knowledge that is being shared here is the most well explained and thorough of any of them. It isn't as performative or graphically enhanced as some, which maybe some people need in order to hold their attention - but it doesn't attack anyone and doesn't cater to anyone or encourage enabling, either. I feel like it's very neutral and informative with an emphasis on helping and educating and I greatly appreciate it.
That means so much, thank you!! and I'm honored that my little corner of the internet is one of those places💖(and on that second part, I know exactly what you're talking about and was reflecting on that recently actually! I've seen channels that display the attacking/catering/enabling and think it's quite toxic and has certainly turned me off to some places out there in cyberspace. It really shows 1) a lack of empathy 2) a lack of understanding and 3) that they are certainly taking others' behavior personally i.e. whatever attachment style they are attacking!) The thought that always crosses my mind when I see that is "How are you in this profession and it doesn't even cross your mind how you're making this group of people feel, who can easily come across this?" We all have attachment styles! And every single one of them has pros and cons, just like most things in life. Ok. rant over😅 I just want to let you know this comment absolutely made my night. 💖Thank you so, so much.
@@CoachSarahNicoleB I'm very glad that I was able to help make your night. I just re-watched the video. I think at this point, I consider myself as an FA with some Dismissive tendencies. My fiance is Avoidant as well, and I'm not trying to diagnose or label or categorize someone who isn't me, but from the decade that we've known each other I'd have to guess she's FA with strong Dismissive tendencies or DA with Fearful tendencies. We each seem to take turns acting Anxious as well with one or the other occasionally seeming to actually be Secure, right up until the other one starts running and then the secure goes poof and out comes anxious. It's a struggle at times and it's not like the rest of life stands still and waits for us to figure everything out in a bubble - whether either of us has a financial or family issue or whatever else, there are always all of those external factors that play into it. Working on it - and a lot of what you've shared in your videos have been extremely helpful in raising my awareness and understanding of how specifically to improve communication between one another. If I wasn't in a financial crisis at the moment, I'd be signing up for coaching 💯
Did you go through all of these questions with everyone you dated? Is this just an automatic trauma response?
I actually did not go through all of these questions with everyone! Some of them also came up more than others and I also had other avoidant thoughts in addition to the 6 I discussed in this video. They are very much automatic trauma responses that would come up for me in different scenarios. Two that come to mind is 1.) having a more anxious partner and they would come up with the person displayed activating strategies and 2.) when the person was 'all in' so to speak, when this person was in the mindset of jumping into everything with me forever and the only thing that would have to happen was me taking that step. this second scenario kind of felt like there was nowhere to run at the time, for lack of better words! I think it's also important to remember that there are tons of nuances in humans. Different people can share an attachment style but have different specific thoughts surrounding a shared wound. For healing, it is very important to examine exactly what your specific thoughts are around something (get as specific as you can) and question that story. When you get specific, you can effectively equilibrate that for yourself. For example, someone with the core wound 'I Am Unsafe' can emotionally translate to a feeling of being uncomfortable. This person can then ask themselves how they have comfort in their life and take action steps to support comfort such as make a cup of tea, spend time with a fur baby, or get cozy under their favorite blanket. I'm going a little on a tangent now! Great questions and thanks for your engagement💖