Відео

Thank you for this video.

My dad often told me too until i understand why😢

Spot on. Am I glad that our Jewish community is so very diverse (and still pretty much unified) that the narcissist has a hard time getting each and every community member under control.

Basically my ex was not okay with my boundaries so I had to make a compromise which made me resent her. Because i felt disrespected. I because using guilt to get my way. I wasn’t sure, but she lied to me and I think she was or had cheated. Her actions were only cheat- worthy. I used guilt to make her feel bad in case she did cheat. I prayed to god please show me if she if the one. I did you bad guilt, i used the kind of guilt a cheater would feel terrible about. I told her you are my only once. I will wait for you. All these things and more. She left. Now after everything. I see she was a walking red flag. Using manipulated me into staying and she completely didn’t respect my boundaries. I fell in love too fast with the wrong person. Using guilt is not good but at this point. I needed to be sure. That is the problem if your partner lies to get thier way. They would most likely cheat also.

Thank u

Is projective identification the same as reaction seeking abuse?

Omg he’s so handsome 😍 who agrees? 😅

Very informative thank you

Oh you and your son so adorable😗🥰 may god protect you

Thank you for posting this. It sounds like medication was the key that let you guys move forward after trying so many other things that are supposed to work, but didn't. What medication was it, or even what class? That would help me and others. Otherwise this feels like another video just saying do the work, and I don't know what the work is and nothing seems to work.

It sounds like medication was the key that let you guys move forward after trying so many other things that are supposed to work, but didn't. What medication was it, or even what class? That would help me and others. Otherwise this feels like another video just saying do the work, and I don't know what the work is and nothing seems to work.

This is great information

This splitting is not just for bpd . A lot of mean people are like that . Like my workplace narc manager forced people to her specific departments after restructuring. I said I consider this and then she said you are great and I want you continue this internal job for two years. Few months later i realised I can’t afford being in that department that I had mentioned from the beginning. When she noticed my advocacy to move, she said your other job is ending ! I said but you said it is for another two years she looked at me with anger saying no you have been in the role for many years already. This is splitting too. Last year I was great this year silence.

BPD or not, it doesn’t help the partner who has to deal with their shitty behavior

How can I block this from happening to me? I live with someone who does this repeatedly. I need help before I lose my sense of self and Identity.

This "A" person is actually taking his own one time experience being in a relationship with someone that has BPD and is referring that all people with BPD are like this because he is using pronouns "they." "They are always going to.... " This is a form of judgment that isn't healthy because not all people with BPD think, feel, and behave the same as your ex. It can feel stigmatizing that ALL.people with BPD are like what you experienced with your ex, and because of this, you are developing what is known as cognitive distortions based on your experience with the one person you were in a relationship with that had BPD. So here you are bashing people with BPD, and you are doing the same thing your ex did to you in this video based on your frustrations of being in a relationship with someone with BPD.

After almost 6 months of actually the healthiest relationship I have ever been in, my BPD boyfriend cheated on me. When he was waiting for me, being my best friend while I was with another disrespectful guy, he didn't sleep with anybody. We had ups and downs he never treated me badly and if he did even a little bit we would talk it through. And all of a sudden this happens. He told me yesterday that it happened a week ago and that he wanted to keep silent but he can't. I love him and I know that he loves me in his problematic way but I also know I deserve better. I was there for him through everything and he was there for me also. This is very hard but I guess I am to blame too.

Great insight! I believe my now 18 year old daughter has BPD. Was diagnosed with bipolar which I always questioned. New psyciatrist says no bipolar and took her off lithium (which never had any effect on her). Her new psychiatrist says she has BPD traits with MDD. She is obsessed with changing her appearance, and if I don't approve, she becomes angry and leads to self-harm. She had a great childhood with no trauma

Good to know about it, but would be better with some examples. Like, dialogues that could actually happen.

Love your face

Coworkers who do this with a so called “work related” subject that is really just a ploy to invade your office and your space and then they think it’s an opening for further personal subjects. It’s not. “Please go back to your desk while I continue updating my resume so I can get away from you. thank you”.

🥹

"... without seeking clarification." Rather critical detail. Thx for raising that.

I don’t feel confused, but I do feel the rest of those feelings because there are a couple people in my building who play that game and I don’t fall for it. It’s really annoying and because I refuse to tolerate it I’m considered an enemy.

I needed this

Are they aware? Or is this subconscious? Is it when the splitting occurs and psychosis the break from reality occurs?

It also depends on the breakup. If you’re left hanging high and dry, dumped all of a sudden. Your recovering phase will be slower, because you have to understand what happen. So when you meet the ex partner then seem to be okay while you’re still angry. But trust the process, take your time to heal, the better you heal the best you change patterns

damn, glad i'm not alone in this situation. I was seeing this girl for about two months, she seemed pretty insecure but I didn't want to make any assumptions. she would always accuse me of cheating or seeing someone else every time I left the house for work, or to go visit friends. I began becoming suspicious after that, because I had a bad feeling that she was projecting what she was doing onto me. One day, she wanted to look through my phone, so I said "that's fine, let me look through yours." she was sexting and sending nudes to like 6 different guys on snapchat, and because I wasn't guilty of anything, she didn't find what she wanted. when questioned why she would choose to cheat, she mentioned that "they're not real people" and "I was disassociating so it wasn't actually me", along with "all guys are sneaky so you probably just deleted everything". glad everything is over now.

It sounds like someone was just being friendly with you and sharing some interesting chat. Not every conversation has to have a point to it. Also, narcissism is an important problem that is happening in our world. We all need to be aware of it. Misidentifying in this way though can lead to normalization of a thing that is not ok. If the experience you are describing actually was coming from a narcissist it isn't clear from your description of it. I know it is difficult to describe but this doesn't sound like narcissism at all.

1. yes. Around other people theyre himble and around me obnoxious, always the victom around me and talks aboyt me behind my back. 2. When i say no generally i get a sickly sweet reaction thats ovvious shes upset. If i dont reapond to the covert requests it enrages her. If i say no without any explanation she will get upset and find something else to be mad about. Shes never overtly mad about what shes actially mad about, always finds something else to blame the emotion on. 3. No, they never take my feelings or anything into account in fact they tell me what my feelings and emotions are. They will ask me what I meant by something or what my intentions were, I will tell them, but then every time in the future that any sort of relevant thing happens or there's any contextual relation to the previous thing, it will be brought back up as if I never explained my intentions or emotions. She will outright tell me that my emotions are wrong, and has frequently told me that I am lying and my emotional reactions are intended only to manipulate her. She not only never tries to get my side of the story or understand what I'm saying, I have to fake being in a good mood otherwise if she notices I'm in a bad mood she will repeatedly ask me why I'm mad at her and nothing I can say will make her think I'm not other than getting up and doing stuff for her. If I even do something as simple as suggest she hurt my feelings or if she does something that makes me accidentally give her a quizzical look, that will automatically enrage her But the worst part is, that she goes and spreads her agenda and her narrative to everybody else, to the point to where they all think I'm the s***** person. They think I'm the one abusing her, she says I do things that I have never done to anybody. I have to start recording her just to see if I was being gas lit because I was legitimately ready to go to the hospital because I was having major delusions and hallucinations. But I wasn't, she was just gaslighting me. I don't know why I can't leave, but genuinely feels like my brain is breaking, I can hardly hold a coherent thought or sentence I will have these moments where my whole body just starts violently shaking, I've lost 50 lb and I only weighed 185 to begin with and I'm 6 ft tall, so I'm this string being. I may be sleep for 5 hours a night and then every once in a while my body gets so tired that it just passes out for hours and hours. nobody she knows or any of her friends have ever tried to get my side of the story or understand from my point of view because she's so adept at spinning it just the right way. Everybody she's ever been with was abusive to her, and she will get her therapists to diagnose the people she's with without even meeting them. Her therapist had me diagnosed as a narcissist and said I went into narcissistic rage, because I have ADHD generalized anxiety disorder and have since being with her developed panic disorder. She said they're narcissistic prages cuz I'm not getting what I want, except they never result of me trying to get what I want. I've stopped trying to get what I want, I've stopped even trying to act like I want anything else. Because even just me wanting something different than what's going on is enough to break whatever security she has. Because if I don't want it it must just be not good and if she wants it but I don't want it and I think it's not good then she's not good

I admit and accept my issues, but she attacks me for my short comings.

I wish this had come up in a search three weeks ago. Easily the best video on the topic I've seen.

My fp suffers from chronic depression. The past 6 months have been a roller coaster

Thanks for sharing this. I resonate with this to a T. Thankfully I have a partner and family that support me and are working with me on this. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes by this disorder, but I know I can recover because I already have come so far.

The split you described is my splits to a T. Its so hard to explain how intense it feels. Half the time, if I was making food or trying to do something, I lose my appetite and struggle to not stop crying. I also feel hopeless and defenseless

I’ve poured over trying to figure out what happened in a three year relationship for months. This is the best, most concise delivery I’ve come across. Turns out BPD 😢

How do I know if my 6 1/2 yr partner is bpd and splitting or a narcissist and devaluing/discard??

I made the mistake of falling in love and marrying a woman with dissociative identity disorder. We were married eight years and I loved her daughter like my own. It turns out she was cheating on me with at least eight different guys for all nine years we were together and she finally got caught - but not by me. The rumors around our small community started to surface. She uprooted her daughter's whole life (after 9 years with me from 2.5-11.5 years old as the best stepdad I could be, friends, and family) and fled across the country where nobody knows her or what kind of monster she is. She claims to have no idea about what she has done when confronted and says she never cheated but it's impossible for me to believe it when people have come out of the woodwork recently to tell me and I found old (and very explicit) text messages in her old phone; she claims she didn't write them. Her "alter" admitted to me about "crossing the line" and threatened to block my texts/calls to my stepdaughter as leverage. I keep it civil and my mouth shut. Yes, there were clues all along but she was very good at hiding her tracks and would get upset when she doubted my trust in her so I figured all was well. I know we can't see the future and we can't go back in time, but except for getting to raise an awesome stepchild, I would NEVER have even introduced myself to this woman in the first place all those years ago. There were lies and inconsistencies in her stories of past relationships from the time we started dating - I should have walked after strike two. Live and learn. Our sex life went from fantastic to seldom then straight to never. She told people I just shut off. Well I did after what would become two out of four years of being pushed away, turned down, and scolded by her when I made advances. However, the lack of sex may have saved me from getting an STD or getting that crazy monster pregnant.

After breaking up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years, I started reading online and watching many videos on attachment styles, narcissism, push-pull dynamic, manipulation, and I believe my ex was either a vulnerable narcissist or a borderline. I would either be the best man ever, or some kind of heartless leech, depending on the mood of the day and the narrative she was making me a part of. It was very confusing and her hot and cold behavior,' sulking and silent treatments usually ended with me apologizing and trying to keep the peace. I always treated her with kindness and patience and yet something always wound up blowing up in my face somehow. After one such drama session, she suggested we go to couples counseling because of our "issues". In my head, I was thinking "wait a minute, this is not a WE problem, this is a YOU problem" and ended the relationship and went no contact. This was 4 months ago and I'm still guilt-ridden, even though I know it was the right thing to do.

Ive never been allowed to say no

So if my partner if 6 1/2 yrs split 2weeks ago saying he’s done done She I reach out? She I try and make up? I love him so genuinely and totally

Do we have a chipotles? So how will you do those shrimp? 🍤. Scampi or shrimp Alfredo? How long have we had our dog? How long have lived in this house? Is this fridge bigger than our old fridge? What was that? What is this little green thing? (Chalk). Are we godly? How many times have you smoked pot? Blah blah blah. But If I ask a question about golf…”You ask that every time!”

Being hoovered right now, being called a narcissist for setting boundaries. Much fun indeed. Accepting that you will be called the bad guy and will be the bad guy in their story im seeing is so true and theres is no way out of that. Im coming to accept that reality myself. Currently ignored their social media post and deleted social media for now

My disgusting ex probably cheated on my countless times. All I did was show her love. She traumatised, humiliated and betrayed me in ways that were sickening. And she indeed started a relationship with someone whilst we were still together. She was a vile demon.

Backhanded gifting. Instead of apologies the person with NPD give gifts. Everytime the victim accepts the gifts one also say to the person with NPD that it was no big deal and one is a person that do not deserve respect. House full of old dusty gifts

Interesting

Based on these tests, 90% are narcissists. Number 4 could be that if their explanations and advice are confusing and word salad

Thank You ❤

I appreciate the last part about counseling. Idk how to help (i know it's not my job and i am moving on, just slowly.. it's hard) him see how serious this all is and take healing seriously. He will use things i want, like healing, learning, growing to lore me into getting back into the cycle when nothing else has worked and couples counseling has begun being the dangled carrot. I would've jumped on that a while back before i had done enough work, (attempted)problem solving and really figuring out what is going on and how serious it is. However, I've gotten enough advice as well as knowing how long it took me to put everything together and how it will look on the surface with him saying the right things (learned from me trying to be our therapist and teaching stuff like nvc) and me refusing to sit though the word maze he creates that keeps anything from ever being discussed. anyway, i hate not being able to explain this and living in a reality that i share with no one, he isn't even there. We don't have a shared history and that hurts so badly that i dont think anyone who hasn't spent near a decade with someone to wake up to the reality that you weren't both there for it. Not in a way that matters. Like an imaginary friend before adding the layers of betrayal and manipulation. I'm not intending to put him or anyone down, i don't think it's on purpose (if it is, we would be talking a sadistic psychopath). Mental health is no joke. I hope parents are getting educated before raising children these days. You need a license to drive- this is a soul someone is molding, abuse is so prevalent.

Thank you for this video