Відео

I have watched about 6 episodes. Great place for reinforcing information I’ve learned in my journey. Keep bringing content. 2:03

Sam, Carol and I both watched this video. She has styles 1,3 and 4. After the video, were you guys said the unfaithful needs to look at themselves and see which ones they have, I asked Carol about it. Actually, what I said was what do you think about the video? She said I don't know. I said what did they say to do at the end of the video? That's where it said for the unfaithful to to look look inwards. Her response to the end of the video question, was well. It says for you to tell me when I do those things. I said well what about the four styles? She said she doesn't do any of those things. Needless to say, I just went to bed. I really don't think there's any help for her unfortunately.

I’m grateful for the information. Every time I start to spin, I can put on one of these podcasts and shift my energy. There’s not a lot of information out there for betrayed spouses who are married to someone who is a sex addict but a sexual anorexic in the actual marriage. I’m really struggling with rejection and confusion around this in my own marriage. Can you do some podcasts around this issue?

I don't know how this channel doesn't have 1M followers. Easily the most comprehensive and informative podcast on this subject. PLEASE don't stop 🙏

Wow wow wow! 🎯 This one is so good! And sadly, way too relatable💔😭😭😭

Wow! It's unbelievable how educated you two are. There's really nothing else out there like this, you guys are great teachers and healers. Every time I watch a video I feel so understood and comforted. Ty,ty ❣️

I sent this to my husband who had a 2 year emotional affair with an intern at hus work 30 years younger than us. He spent one year coming home and sharing stories of her. Then i found a 1 year messaging on Instagram that he kept private from me. He checked on her every holiday but didn't spend those holidays with me because he spent them with his mom. He also wished this girl congratulations on her graduation and then for her promotion. He has told me over and over again it wasn't sexual he also keeps trying to minalmilize it. Im trying to show him how to prevent another one by looking for signs his therapist has really not dealt with this. Im hoping he watches this and gets why im so upset.

Behavioral characteristics/categories Threatening, hostile, demanding, explosive 4:16 Unpredictable bullying

What a great ‘session’ w Sam and James. Learned a ton - two of the best.

Oh gosh, I so so miss having normal oxytocin levels…so ready for it though. ❤

I just want to say that your videos are great, and they really help make sense of the senselessness of all of this. I know that men and women tend to cheat for different reasons, and I was wondering if you guys had thought about bringing on some women who were unfaithful to share some of their thoughts and reasons?

You bring me so much peace. I can't thank you enough for your work on healing trauma. You validate all who are blessed enough to watch these videos. with all my heart, ty ❣️❣️❣️

Find someone who will tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear 🙉

My husband is quite mad at the knowledge your channel gives me and the fact it validates me and enables me to uphold my boundaries.

After listening to most of these talks, I’m more convinced than ever that my husband has no desire to truly heal. It has been nearly a year and a half that I’ve been waiting. It makes me so sad. 😢

Brilliant gentlemen. The emotional maturity aspect of the healing journey is one of the most difficult parts of it. Post divorce, I'm tackling that within myself and am proud to say I am so much better at being present with my feelings and emotions, feeling them and continuing on, and a heck of a lot better listener as well

Absolute gold and no one has an excuse but themselves after watching this!

Without emotional intelligence, self acknowledgement/recognition is contorted and isnt what it needs to be. Often without the maturity or intelligence, it just becomes and affirmative, Im all good, I dont need to do anything stance taken by the unfaithful. Staying in the no engagement, connection, isolation etc

In addition to your help, there are a couple of other things that have contributed to my becoming more emotionally healthy. CS Lewis wrote about man without chests. Basically, being responsible. In Romans, Paul reveals so many traits that we display, that it's almost as if it were written for us. And like you both, I still have a long way to go.

Loved the mention of developing shared meaning in the joint recovery journey.

Very good guideline fellas!

Speedy recovery James!

Great Job James !

James! We need that can of worms about porn opened

Hey You guys are cool, The thing I heard to day that was really meaningful to me is “Anger is an emotion, Rage is a behavior”. I am the betrayed and I have raged. Madder than hell, threw things, threatened my husband, it was ugly. I have been controlling my temper - better, this piece of info helps so much. C.

Wish there was a way to cause a reckoning cause I'm moments away from a divorce and I've literally given it 15 years to get better. To bad I wasted my life. Amazing that we look to men for strength but the one I need to be strong the most is the weakest person I know

I would like to know how many faithful women have taken their lives because of the betrayl and the unraveling that comes after day in and out for years.

Eye candy!? Seriously?!

My husband is in denial of what is actually an offense against our relationship and the sacred vows we took. He also claimed to have had an emotional affair (after 2 decades of messing around with other women) FOR ME. 😂

My husband's inaction in his own recovery is invalidating. He has been dabbling in recovery for 8 years.

I'll feel safe when I see that my husband has some healing under his belt in his attachment style and emotional intimacy problems and after years of waiting, he has the courage to give a full disclosure. I'm being extremely patient with this situation, probably to my own detriment. It feels horrible.

My husband is definitely on that spectrum. It's difficult for us both.

Talk about hitting a nail on the head. Such an accurate description of emotional affairs coupled with some of the best advice I’ve heard. Thanks Sam and James!

My husband was getting close to a step sister during time hos dad was dying and I would ask do you want me come stay with you ge would say know the step sister would be there to help her mom then i found out he had been talking to her about us and about me then we had a granddaughter that had leg cancer and our son didn't want me to know right away but he told his dad my husband he came home from work sat on porch talking on his phone it was his step sister and he was telling her about our granddaughter I about blow up then all the other things came out is this a betrayal

it also happens with friends (same sex) .....basically, whoever fills the voids and needs you didn't have met in childhood, etc.

Another great podcast keep them coming lads.

What are the most common places where these affairs start? My guess is #1 work #2 neighbor/relative #3 church or group that a person is involved in #4 gym. Church is a very dangerous place because people trust each other more and think they’re above “trouble”. We were in a church 15 years. Saw good families leave, then we left, then I found out this divorced woman was trying to mess with every good husband in the church. No one would call her out. I would have, if I knew her game before we left. That’s why we left, (I didn’t know why one night my husband said, this is our last night here, we’re leaving) just didn’t know that was why until she sent a text at the wrong time to my husband, still trying to push her way in through by sending a vicious text message about a good man in the church. I found the message because the phone wouldn’t stop setting off alerts because she actually sent two messages. He didn’t have the guts to delete her number. She had made him promise in a text that he would never delete, block or unfriend her. The idiot did, he text her back “Never.” But She really messed up her little game with my husband and he’s been suffering with my emotional inconsistencies ever since. Proverbs 5-6-7-8 men are weak, selfish and dumb. They will fall for anything that looks good in their eyes. They have no clue how to see the evil in a strange woman like she is described in proverbs. They will trash “the wife of their youth” for a vicious blonde haired bimbo in a minute. By the way, her son had worked for us, so that gave her an in-road to my husband that I was dumb enough to not pay attention to.

Denial by omission is still lying to your partner even when the proof is right there. As a psychologist it's a way to become the victim and blame others for the behavior. I lived with him for decades believing that he would settle down but it only got worse. I divorced him and now he's admitting that he knew it was wrong but his ego and entitlement kept him continually having to need validation.

Should I let my Husband see this video even though we have been moving forward together and he has nothing to do with thw third party?

You definitely nailed it for my Husband he did everything you mentioned

Speedy recovery James. Thanks for clarifying what the signs are, Gentleman. Protecting the marriage requires constant vigilance. I know a Boss who always had his door open when taking meetings with any one.

I’m curious what feedback would you say to the betrayed wife that requested her UH for years “ don’t say or do anything that you wouldn’t say or do in front of me. Then I found out that he had a 3 year affair

My Wifes started different it was a sexual partner from her past that turned into an emotional affair after we Married.

I'm glad to see this video, if my wife's adultery wasn't bad enough she was just nasty to me in the months that followed. She is a totally different person, literally like someone else has taken over her brain. It's so striking that it affected her appearance, and she even looked different to me. Now divorced and I still see her as angry, and I'm quite sad. We never really addressed anything and there is just a huge sense of loss of what could have been.

My unfaithful husband caused a lot of emotional pain to me and my kids. He barely is involved with our children now. And has taken on a new woman/her kids.

Would you say that you guys had difficult relationships with your mothers?

My husband not only projected his anger, he also projected his actions. Like....me cheating on him

I'm so thankful for this channel. I'm a betrayed spouse, only few months from D-day. Youe conversations have helped me understand and KNOW that my husband's betrayal is not my fault.

This was pretty deep- needs a second listen but a lot of insight, thank you!

This was incredibly insightful. You two bring such clarity to such a painful issues. Thank you.