Amy Schumer Monologue - SNL

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  • Опубліковано 9 лют 2025
  • Amy Schumer talks about wanting better role models for young girls than the Kardashians and the time she thought she was dating Bradley Cooper.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,1 тис.

  • @Shadow-yq8wg
    @Shadow-yq8wg 3 роки тому +1687

    i was laughing so hard and then i closed the comments

    • @ttm1795
      @ttm1795 2 роки тому +8

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @manmeetsodhi9257
      @manmeetsodhi9257 2 роки тому +24

      YOOO BRO IS SAVAGE, I ACTUALLY DIED BRO DANG, VIOLATION

    • @wellofcire
      @wellofcire 2 роки тому +6

      still funnier than the main show at least

    • @danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307
      @danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307 2 роки тому +7

      The funniest thing amy schumer ever said "I am a comedian!"

    • @danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307
      @danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307 2 роки тому +2

      Luckily she had the SNL writers to write this for her! Even then they had to put recorded laufter over the audiences silence! 🤦‍♂🤣

  • @l1585
    @l1585 3 роки тому +1329

    8:37 This had me dying 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 💀

    • @NutoriusTwizz
      @NutoriusTwizz 3 роки тому +66

      On god 😭

    • @ToeGripper9988
      @ToeGripper9988 2 роки тому +13

      Same

    • @rakanalmugbel
      @rakanalmugbel 2 роки тому +7

      Lmao

    • @sabbeyroad
      @sabbeyroad 2 роки тому +38

      I saw your comment before I started watching and I was just waiting for the funny part. Had to scroll down towards the end to check your timestamp, because the funny part clearly hadn't happened yet. You were on the nose lmao

    • @cynalic
      @cynalic 2 роки тому +7

      bro me too 💀 im cryying lmfao

  • @FlaccidSunday
    @FlaccidSunday 3 роки тому +58

    I searched for this monologue just to piss myself off

    • @StudioDaVeed
      @StudioDaVeed 27 днів тому

      He says typing with one hand.....

  • @earthcakestudiosvanilla3073
    @earthcakestudiosvanilla3073 2 роки тому +529

    8:37 was the funniest of all jokes

    • @YOMAMAXXL
      @YOMAMAXXL 2 роки тому +20

      The funniest of all jokes at in the comments when people insult her

    • @jimmydaphrog1550
      @jimmydaphrog1550 2 роки тому +8

      Calling these jokes is an insult to all jokes

    • @ScornedScallopes
      @ScornedScallopes 2 роки тому +8

      Ok I cackled when I clicked on it 😂

    • @clovis-
      @clovis- 2 роки тому +3

      everyone rightfully hates her for stealing jokes, but you just did the same thing. this is the top comment from months ago lmao

    • @earthcakestudiosvanilla3073
      @earthcakestudiosvanilla3073 2 роки тому +2

      I had nothing else to do

  • @quiksix25
    @quiksix25 9 років тому +128

    C'mon Amy. In the youtube age you can't recycle the jokes you told on Jimmy Fallon and Ellen.

    • @justanotherguywhocomments9689
      @justanotherguywhocomments9689 9 років тому +30

      youre right comedians have new material every night of their tours

    • @mwk89
      @mwk89 9 років тому +2

      +quiksix25 do you know how hard it is to come up with a routine?

    • @quiksix25
      @quiksix25 9 років тому +3

      Matthew Kitson I mean, I feel like she could have come up with some stuff that doesn't have millions of views on youtube for the freaking opening monologue of SNL. It's a handful of jokes, not an hour long comedy special.

    • @ewthmatth
      @ewthmatth 9 років тому +1

      +quiksix25 I haven't watched one Fallon or Ellen clip on youtube all year. This is for ME :P

    • @quiksix25
      @quiksix25 9 років тому +1

      ***** Did you see her HBO special? All the recycled jokes got weak laughs cuz the majority had heard it already. Her fresh material killed and got huge laughs.

  • @hannahwieler4455
    @hannahwieler4455 8 років тому +3408

    "take the faces they were born with as a light suggestion" im dying LOL

    • @avery.s7681
      @avery.s7681 6 років тому +31

      I don't get it? light suggestion whatt?

    • @Brittany853
      @Brittany853 6 років тому +60

      A light suggestion of what they should look like the rest of their life

    • @bugofcake
      @bugofcake 5 років тому +21

      Hannah Wieler how is that funny?

    • @amazing_bastard
      @amazing_bastard 5 років тому +68

      @@bugofcake it's funny and sad at the same time. she's talking about how the role models for young girls today are women who do a lot of plastic surgeries and stuff, which imposes twisted ideas of what beauty is upon the young generation of women and teaches them to not love the natural faces they were born with

    • @bugofcake
      @bugofcake 5 років тому +6

      Polina Turik it’s just tragic

  • @TiagoFerreira-zp9gi
    @TiagoFerreira-zp9gi 3 роки тому +1854

    The f in Amy Schumer stands for "funny".

    • @samuelbarrett5648
      @samuelbarrett5648 3 роки тому +14

      Dang

    • @TiagoFerreira-zp9gi
      @TiagoFerreira-zp9gi 3 роки тому +62

      @Syrus Salinas Oh no, I know it. I'm a bit of an Amy Schumer myself.

    • @nihilist_lol
      @nihilist_lol 3 роки тому

      @David Assefa Tofu SO??????

    • @nihilist_lol
      @nihilist_lol 3 роки тому +1

      @David Assefa Tofu yawnnnnnn....???

    • @Alex-qj3wp
      @Alex-qj3wp 3 роки тому +15

      @David Assefa Tofu Honestly, I don't get why people are so invested in hating famous people. like, if you don't find her funny then just watch other comics, obviously many people find her funny because her stand ups are successful and her views are good.

  • @slickfinisher123
    @slickfinisher123 3 роки тому +168

    Oh man. I'm dying of laughter over here. Funniest person ever. Soooooo funny.

    • @Hellcat1320
      @Hellcat1320 3 роки тому +53

      Ikr it’s sooooo funny like it’s the most funny thing I’ve eveeeer seeeen 😐

    • @suspumpkin5229
      @suspumpkin5229 2 роки тому +28

      Bro got the whole squad laughing 🤠🔫

  • @shellw1276
    @shellw1276 7 років тому +1493

    I liked how the band members are cracking up in the background!

    • @ms.rstake_1211
      @ms.rstake_1211 5 років тому +19

      They mostly do.

    • @richardweider9875
      @richardweider9875 5 років тому +6

      Thanks what's up dude

    • @stanleyshady9465
      @stanleyshady9465 5 років тому +221

      they're paid and told to laugh

    • @vitaminmc6086
      @vitaminmc6086 4 роки тому +59

      In fac, it seems many people have been paid to praise and accept this talentless woman in their circles... Something very weird is going on

    • @laurahall2710
      @laurahall2710 4 роки тому +3

      Hate to have to clean the furniture after

  • @pyro7602
    @pyro7602 3 роки тому +93

    So two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer.
    Cannibal one: does this taste funny to you ?
    Cannibal 2: no.

  • @shaun7002
    @shaun7002 3 роки тому +847

    I just listen to her jokes to fall asleep

    • @ojassomethin
      @ojassomethin 3 роки тому +23

      Yes. The perfect lullaby

    • @gallofilm
      @gallofilm 3 роки тому +32

      a whales lullaby

    • @shaun7002
      @shaun7002 3 роки тому +4

      @@gallofilm 😂

    • @idkwhattonamemyacxount88
      @idkwhattonamemyacxount88 3 роки тому +1

      Lol I just did this last night. the leather special

    • @Mac-dt3iz
      @Mac-dt3iz 3 роки тому +20

      what a weird obsession with someone you dislike

  • @hooks36
    @hooks36 3 роки тому +223

    The wall next to me has better stand up

  • @felltem8296
    @felltem8296 3 роки тому +561

    the most funny part about this is the laughable chance of me laughing.

    • @JustoonsYes
      @JustoonsYes 3 роки тому +6

      0% chance of laughing

    • @calebgillett6091
      @calebgillett6091 3 роки тому +3

      Fr I looked up Amy Schumer to see if she was funny but ig not women are unable to be funny

    • @kunchenliang8772
      @kunchenliang8772 3 роки тому +1

      is this a paradox

    • @s_.777
      @s_.777 3 роки тому +1

      Y’all just like to dislike her, she’s not awful.

    • @darkseeker1112
      @darkseeker1112 2 роки тому

      @@s_.777 She’s fucking abysmal. Iliza Shlesinger is up-arrow notation magnitudes funnier than Amy Shumer.

  • @sirfishe9949
    @sirfishe9949 2 роки тому +60

    Im so happy they had actual people laughing in the background. You can tell they really enjoyed this!

  • @shubhamgopal2077
    @shubhamgopal2077 8 років тому +556

    the kaidashians and malala were on point in her monologue.

    • @danp1471
      @danp1471 5 років тому

      I'm ignorant who is malala?

    • @ammanusman7485
      @ammanusman7485 5 років тому +16

      @@danp1471 A nobel peace prize winner from Pakistan. I believe she is the youngest prize winner. She fought for girl's education as a teenager.

    • @breannaheron7404
      @breannaheron7404 5 років тому +6

      Dan P she was also shot in the head by isis and survived, look into her story it’s amazing

    • @SubscribersWithoutAnyVid-ss4ff
      @SubscribersWithoutAnyVid-ss4ff 5 років тому +4

      breanna heron not isis lol. it was the taliban

    • @JeffWarren47
      @JeffWarren47 4 роки тому

      @@breannaheron7404 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LIKE.
      (Watch the Time Traveler set first)
      ua-cam.com/users/JeffWarren47

  • @Isaac_646
    @Isaac_646 2 роки тому +153

    Drinking game: every time Amy Schumer is funny take a shot.

    • @supykun
      @supykun 2 роки тому +108

      ... dude I beg you, my dad runs a rehab centre and I don't want him to go out of business

    • @truebrothas9020
      @truebrothas9020 2 роки тому +56

      You would stay sober rest of your life

    • @Gar_freak
      @Gar_freak 2 роки тому +13

      I don’t think alcohol would even exist anymore

    • @mrcheesecracker2258
      @mrcheesecracker2258 2 роки тому +12

      Ohh hell yeah I’m getting drunk to- wait did you say Amy Schumer?

    • @DigitalAndInnovation
      @DigitalAndInnovation 2 роки тому +17

      Are you trying to have people die from withdrawl??

  • @Mbnbb
    @Mbnbb 7 років тому +211

    ''TAKE THE SHOT YOU BIIIIIIIIIITCH.'' 4:54

  • @ToraydoBull
    @ToraydoBull 9 років тому +1562

    This was one of the few rare moments on SNL that I lol-ed so hard until I was crying. Only Amy can do that.

    • @ratso69ful81
      @ratso69ful81 9 років тому +12

      +ToraydoBull I agree, she's hilarious, her movie Trainwreck was a pleasant surpirse too!!

    • @latch360
      @latch360 9 років тому +97

      I don't see anything funny about her. I'm easy to please too.

    • @irisheyes0620
      @irisheyes0620 9 років тому +24

      +Dwight Swaney I agree. I think she could be really funny, but she veers into crude too often. The bit about bathing her niece was horrible. We turned it off at that point.

    • @jr85marvel
      @jr85marvel 9 років тому +12

      +Dwight Swaney then your a snob who cant get over himself and just laugh at the dumb silly shit and use your brain to analyze the high brow stuff because this woman is killing it!

    • @supermilkguy
      @supermilkguy 9 років тому +8

      +Catheryn English is that the royal "we"?

  • @michaelandrew6639
    @michaelandrew6639 7 років тому +282

    " well what does that mean devon?" dying dead

  • @R.Ale09
    @R.Ale09 3 роки тому +197

    The day she’ll be funny is the day when a day doesn’t even exist anymore

    • @isaacornelas06
      @isaacornelas06 3 роки тому +10

      Ironically this comment isn’t funny

    • @hannahwelch5199
      @hannahwelch5199 3 роки тому +1

      Wow ok

    • @MarcosIsABaritone
      @MarcosIsABaritone 3 роки тому +1

      Why is she successful then? We should be wary of speaking and writing in sweeping statements and hyperbole. Our arguments would greatly benefit.

    • @Mac-dt3iz
      @Mac-dt3iz 3 роки тому +2

      how weird that you came to this 6 years after it was posted... the entire audience is laughing it's a super good opening monologue

    • @moweewesty279
      @moweewesty279 6 місяців тому

      @@Mac-dt3iz No, it isn't

  • @leosanalien9904
    @leosanalien9904 9 років тому +126

    Anybody leaving rude comments about her look is just another Emmy nominated Paul Giamatti performance.

  • @voyance4elle
    @voyance4elle 8 років тому +50

    the lava lamp made me laough out loud :D i love these silly jokes xD

    • @JeffWarren47
      @JeffWarren47 4 роки тому

      @Marylee Macpherson
      😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LIKE.
      (Watch the Time Traveler set first)
      ua-cam.com/users/JeffWarren47

  • @drakeklashbeyonce5206
    @drakeklashbeyonce5206 8 років тому +653

    am i the only one who's watching the guys in the back

    • @Svenesteban
      @Svenesteban 5 років тому +7

      Holy shit they're dying of laughter.

    • @danisa2011d
      @danisa2011d 5 років тому +17

      I always take as a reference the gret hair guy at the right! He is honest about his laughs ! Check the rest of the monologues

    • @utkarshprajapati5053
      @utkarshprajapati5053 5 років тому +4

      So you are basically watching a reaction video

    • @Anton680x
      @Anton680x 5 років тому

      nope

    • @ireallyreallyhategoogle
      @ireallyreallyhategoogle 5 років тому

      yes

  • @nicknick493
    @nicknick493 2 роки тому +146

    I think we can all agree that Amy Schumer is definitely one of the comedians of all time

    • @BigOuchies
      @BigOuchies 2 роки тому +9

      "Comedian" is a bold claim.

    • @Gyh373
      @Gyh373 Рік тому +4

      You must be kidding

    • @NameOFFIClAL
      @NameOFFIClAL 6 місяців тому

      calling amy schumer a "comedian" is an insult to actual comedians

  • @deeperedges3100
    @deeperedges3100 8 років тому +648

    "She lost a Kendall" 😂😂😂😂

    • @copbabycombo1311
      @copbabycombo1311 3 роки тому +33

      I'm laughing at you because you think that's funny. LMAO. To each their own.

    • @gabrieleporru4443
      @gabrieleporru4443 3 роки тому +2

      @UCBdA5NKc5rlMKNxF5XXoi5Q Just go fuck off😂😂It made him/her/whatever laugh, now someone can't even laugh at a stupid joke if it genuinely made them to because you all have to bring on your crusade against a joke thief. "To EaCH thEiR oWN" yeah okay superior being
      "I lAuGh aT YOu" toxic as shit

  • @itsthebats
    @itsthebats 8 років тому +206

    Grab your ankles lmao

    • @josephepps7805
      @josephepps7805 5 років тому +1

      B....bend
      O.....over
      H.....here
      I......it
      C....cums
      A.....again

  • @PatriCoop
    @PatriCoop 7 років тому +557

    "Khloe was ours" LMAO

  • @Hannahhcamillle
    @Hannahhcamillle 5 років тому +36

    So I put Jessica Alba's soap on my hand😭😭

  • @stellatocca
    @stellatocca 8 років тому +366

    I love how the musicians in the background are trying their best to hold in their laughter.

    • @wanettarenay8215
      @wanettarenay8215 6 років тому +93

      AND THEIR VOMIT

    • @courtneyc238
      @courtneyc238 4 роки тому +6

      wanetta renay why are u watching her snl monologue if u dislike her so much. Wouldn’t u rather spend your time watching someone u like?

    • @binitshrestha3122
      @binitshrestha3122 4 роки тому +37

      @@courtneyc238 maybe she thought this would be good and then she quickly changed her mind

    • @courtneyc238
      @courtneyc238 4 роки тому +7

      any thing no, people know amy schumers Comedy. People clicked on this video to hate on her

    •  4 роки тому

      @@wanettarenay8215 bro that was hilarious. I feel sorry for them man.

  • @autumnhenderson-brazie7581
    @autumnhenderson-brazie7581 9 років тому +141

    "but it's pretty good soap as it turns out" lol

  • @youtubedude3422
    @youtubedude3422 4 роки тому +186

    90% of this comment section are Amy Schumer NPC

    • @drsipp407
      @drsipp407 4 роки тому +45

      There are so many comments like “this is so funny wow!!!” God this genuinely isn’t funny

    • @atomiplex8956
      @atomiplex8956 4 роки тому +16

      @@drsipp407 I mean, comedy is relative and heavily dependent on relatability. I doubt you and I are the intended audience. You are coming into to this wanting to hate it. There were some jokes I did not get. They were some I actually found quite funny.

    • @Samuelprit
      @Samuelprit 4 роки тому +11

      @@atomiplex8956 stfu there is subjective comedy then this is Amy schumer the woman is like listening to a brick wall

    • @jaredhummel9687
      @jaredhummel9687 4 роки тому +2

      notice how it’s only women laughing

    • @drsipp407
      @drsipp407 4 роки тому

      @@atomiplex8956 yeahhhh you’re right actually

  • @IRISistibleMakeup
    @IRISistibleMakeup 7 років тому +42

    "you would grab your ankles" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

    • @Bamburfix
      @Bamburfix 3 роки тому +4

      What... *whats wrong with you*

  • @Breakfst4dinner
    @Breakfst4dinner 7 років тому +162

    " WHAT DOES THAT MEAN DEVON, MY CHEEKS ARE FINE DEVON "

    • @bigfatbear943
      @bigfatbear943 3 роки тому +10

      Dang this was so funny 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

    • @gabrieleporru4443
      @gabrieleporru4443 3 роки тому +1

      @@bigfatbear943 how childish is it to bother other people finding something funny because YOU think a comedian that stole jokes shouldn't get ANY laugh?
      They found it funny, can't they? They need *your* permit?

  • @Olhado256
    @Olhado256 8 років тому +641

    I like to judge the quality of SNL monologues by what the guitarist on the left is doing. Like, he's always grinning (probably because he has one of the best jobs in the world) but when he loses it, that's when you know it's really working.

    • @grottphd9090
      @grottphd9090 8 років тому +34

      You know, they are paid to laugh.

    • @grottphd9090
      @grottphd9090 8 років тому +16

      +daebaksone they are employed by snl. It benefits snl if the musicians seem to find the material funny. If these musicians didn't laugh, but sat there stone faced, how long do you think they would be employed?

    • @bootsieragansings
      @bootsieragansings 8 років тому +45

      Cole Blackman , nope, I know the sax player and he is NOT paid to laugh, but to play. Go figure.

    • @haulishet
      @haulishet 7 років тому +7

      That's a bass player, you ignorant vajaynah

    • @raynixxx8261
      @raynixxx8261 6 років тому +2

      Ropsana Khanom : EXACTLY 🤩✌🏻👍🏻👍🏻

  • @samu.bionda728
    @samu.bionda728 3 роки тому +55

    This is actually very good content for "When I Laugh The Video Ends" type of video, so that it lasts for 10 minutes at least, for the extra ad. You gotta stick in a 2 minutes long intro tho.

    • @orange123yoshi
      @orange123yoshi 3 роки тому +2

      Damn that was better than the monologue

  • @ItsTomJefferson
    @ItsTomJefferson 2 роки тому +5

    the laugh tracks every second 💀

  • @goodthings1468
    @goodthings1468 8 років тому +122

    "All they have is the kardashians" haahah I love her.

  • @JustJory
    @JustJory 2 роки тому +28

    I was laughing so hard until my paint fully dried. Then my laughter went away

  • @viralbuthow000
    @viralbuthow000 7 років тому +21

    "I have an 18 month old niece and we have the exact same body. Thank you." LOLLL

  • @abbybarron8328
    @abbybarron8328 8 років тому +592

    I thought it was funny, she was funny and made a point, why are so many people offended?

    • @quit9701
      @quit9701 8 років тому +20

      shes flat out racist lmao
      check out the articles

    • @poorme5576
      @poorme5576 8 років тому +20

      euphonykid She's a comedian

    • @iworshipgaysandsatan6822
      @iworshipgaysandsatan6822 8 років тому +18

      Because people think she stole jokes once or twice, which has now caused people to discredit her entire career, and that none of her jokes are funny and she's an annoying bitch.

    • @poorme5576
      @poorme5576 8 років тому +72

      You mean to tell me Americans like to build up a woman then convince themselves she's evil and unlikable then start bringing her down? What a shock

    • @zTxmi
      @zTxmi 8 років тому +8

      +I Worship Gays And Satan Well, she is an annoying bitch.

  • @yvonney1684
    @yvonney1684 4 роки тому +14

    “...But I’m trash from Long Island” LMAOO love her humour!

  • @ironrevenger9386
    @ironrevenger9386 3 роки тому +33

    Anyone who makes it past 2:30 deserves a medal

    • @imadawg2833
      @imadawg2833 2 роки тому +2

      I did by reading the comments

    • @ironrevenger9386
      @ironrevenger9386 2 роки тому +2

      @@imadawg2833 Clever strategy 🥇

    • @yodaddy7091
      @yodaddy7091 2 роки тому +1

      I watched the whole thing and never laughed so I better get my medal

    • @ironrevenger9386
      @ironrevenger9386 2 роки тому +1

      @@yodaddy7091 Here ya go champ 🥇

    • @d.b.1176
      @d.b.1176 2 роки тому

      I made it to 4:44, but also by reading comments and commenting on how terrible and annoying she is.

  • @joshuahignight3076
    @joshuahignight3076 3 роки тому +44

    Amy Schumer is the greatest comedian of all time
    -Norm Macdonald

    • @bigfatbear943
      @bigfatbear943 3 роки тому +1

      Well he's an idiot😐

    • @Lu1kang187XD
      @Lu1kang187XD 3 роки тому +1

      @@bigfatbear943 lmao the late great norm mcdonald was considerate enough to give that amy schumer that title. Man what a great guy he was, ill also support norm by saying amy schumer is "THE GREATEST COMEDIAN OF ALL TIME"..............

    • @joeyperez7432
      @joeyperez7432 3 роки тому +6

      @@bigfatbear943 He was being sarcastic. You obviously dont know Norms comedy

    • @bigfatbear943
      @bigfatbear943 3 роки тому +1

      @@joeyperez7432 Nah I just don't know him but I'm saying that to anyone who praises Amy for her terrible humor

    • @gwenlyda4958
      @gwenlyda4958 3 роки тому

      Not counting him, of course

  • @Johnconagher
    @Johnconagher 2 роки тому +164

    Fun fact: the only reason she’s this big is because she’s from a rich family which actually makes a ton of sense

    • @zachbartlett2829
      @zachbartlett2829 2 роки тому +32

      Probably also cause she eats alot

    • @Aquardis
      @Aquardis 2 роки тому +5

      @@zachbartlett2829 underrated comment

    • @weaponsmith
      @weaponsmith 2 роки тому

      Also because all she talks about is sex and people instantly get turned on

    • @zachbartlett2829
      @zachbartlett2829 2 роки тому +1

      @@weaponsmith people get turned on by her? Doubt it

    • @audreyf9092
      @audreyf9092 2 роки тому +1

      @@zachbartlett2829 I don’t understand how that’s funny. Even if she is an insufferable person to watch I don’t see how making fun of her body is funny.

  • @patatafrita9857
    @patatafrita9857 5 років тому +91

    She told the Bradley Cooper story in at least 2 other interviews, she must be proud of it

    • @turbojon8117
      @turbojon8117 5 років тому +15

      Do you think she's the first comedian to use the same bit more than once?

    • @ericmanget4280
      @ericmanget4280 5 років тому +20

      @@turbojon8117 She's one of the first comedians to use someone else's bit more than once lol

    • @shashavengesayi6055
      @shashavengesayi6055 5 років тому

      Eric Manget yeah but she does them better than the original comedians

    • @ericmanget4280
      @ericmanget4280 5 років тому +7

      @@shashavengesayi6055 She stole from Patrice. She's not better than Patrice. Also even if it were true it'd be a bad excuse lol, that's how Carlos Mencia was trying to defend himself.

    • @shashavengesayi6055
      @shashavengesayi6055 5 років тому

      Eric Manget i think by stealing someone else’s bit she’s also in a way paying tribute to the original comedian.

  • @sergiocruz162
    @sergiocruz162 4 роки тому +43

    Welp... that’s 8 minutes I’m never getting back...

    • @Samuelprit
      @Samuelprit 4 роки тому +3

      why are most of the comments positive, she's not funny

  • @johngravesyt
    @johngravesyt 3 роки тому +20

    Honest: H is silent
    Knife: K is silent
    Amy Schumer: Crowd is silent

    • @mohammedshaik9647
      @mohammedshaik9647 3 роки тому +1

      lmfaoo

    • @memers94
      @memers94 3 роки тому +2

      Unless they get paid to laugh

    • @Mac-dt3iz
      @Mac-dt3iz 3 роки тому

      apparently you're deaf

    • @johngravesyt
      @johngravesyt 3 роки тому

      @@memers94 they do

    • @NotSoOpposite
      @NotSoOpposite 5 місяців тому

      They were roaring the whole time are you deaf? Not even laughtrack laughing dude, she killed this audience and I'm not even a fan of her. Her show sucked but this monologue hit from what I can tell

  • @xxpurplexxrosexx
    @xxpurplexxrosexx 3 роки тому +19

    I loved the joke at 8:37.

  • @TheTonecii
    @TheTonecii 6 років тому +9

    5:19 6:56 (when you finish the punchline you started with). 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @Thescentofmargarita
    @Thescentofmargarita 2 роки тому +1

    omg hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 "What does that mean DEVIN!"

  • @itsamebrinyoh7038
    @itsamebrinyoh7038 7 років тому +24

    "You remember my thit-ther?" -- I'm crying!!!!!

  • @johnjohnson3709
    @johnjohnson3709 5 років тому +64

    I would grab my ankles if Bradley Cooper showed up at my house.

    • @johnjohnson3709
      @johnjohnson3709 4 роки тому +1

      Jon Davis if he was Bradley

    • @johnjohnson3709
      @johnjohnson3709 4 роки тому

      And you would also even though you’re probably a straight male but when would you get the chance to let Bradley knock the bottom out of it.

    • @tayolenson2268
      @tayolenson2268 3 роки тому

      You gay

    • @johnjohnson3709
      @johnjohnson3709 3 роки тому

      Tayo Lenson yep

    • @fishpickles7316
      @fishpickles7316 2 роки тому +1

      Do you have schizophrenia

  • @luisferr2001
    @luisferr2001 5 років тому +27

    "A tinder swipe"!! Almost fell off my seat!

  • @spoodiana420
    @spoodiana420 3 роки тому +2

    humor was invented in 1877:
    people in 1876:

  • @slobbernuckle
    @slobbernuckle 5 років тому +16

    "I don't want to be named after rights"

  • @FilmSimply
    @FilmSimply 3 роки тому +21

    i laughed once then I closed the window

    • @josephcoon5809
      @josephcoon5809 3 роки тому +1

      Did I jump out the window too early?

  • @mrying1436
    @mrying1436 2 роки тому +12

    Omg this is this is the best comedy I’ve ever seen😂 (now please let my family go)

  • @ohthatpaul
    @ohthatpaul 2 роки тому +1

    4:49 "Who's hazing Hillary Clinton?" 😂❤️ 🤣😆❤️❤️😄😁❤️😃❤️

  • @deergutz8162
    @deergutz8162 9 років тому +6

    She told the bradley Cooper thing already

  • @akshayde
    @akshayde 8 років тому +658

    I'm still mixed about her. But this was bloody funny

    • @christinadobbs6877
      @christinadobbs6877 5 років тому +37

      Her stand up comedy is definitely better than her movies.....

    • @saifsattani2424
      @saifsattani2424 4 роки тому +5

      Who asked

    • @vitaminmc6086
      @vitaminmc6086 4 роки тому +28

      She's crap and fake. There's a good documentary about her on UA-cam

    • @reng935
      @reng935 4 роки тому +13

      Of course. These jokes are probably written for her lol

    • @vitaminmc6086
      @vitaminmc6086 4 роки тому +12

      @@reng935 Look for "The Elephant 🐘 in the Room - An Amy Schumer Documentary".
      She steals so much stuff.

  • @TietCanhVit
    @TietCanhVit 5 років тому +313

    It is really difficult what she's doing. I can't even make 3 separate ideas without stumbling. She's able to pause her thoughts for applause. Her timing is exceptional.

    • @LGJdirjdkfo
      @LGJdirjdkfo 4 роки тому +8

      Sao Cungduoc shut up Conan!

    • @imacomedian980
      @imacomedian980 4 роки тому +7

      You're a idiot lol

    • @FMRA46
      @FMRA46 4 роки тому +8

      @@imacomedian980 it's AN idiot. That says a lot you idiot 🤣

    • @peter96844
      @peter96844 4 роки тому +3

      Fikry Reza You sir, are a grammer correcting dick please get out of the comments section.

    • @calmand29
      @calmand29 4 роки тому +3

      Her delivery and timing is spot on. It's so important, if not more so than the actual joke itself. Screw the haters.

  • @reviewersuniverse
    @reviewersuniverse 3 роки тому +1

    Amy’s talking and you’re reading the comments rn.

  • @eme.261
    @eme.261 8 років тому +66

    I stood in front of Bradley Cooper in the SNL studio-- and yeah, I was a second away from grabbing my ankles. I was shocked at how magnetic he was. At the time, he was in the process of filming American Sniper, so he was BUILT. It looked damn good on him.

    • @BattleBladeWarrior
      @BattleBladeWarrior 2 роки тому +1

      I bet you were probably think you'd look damn good on him too ;D lol, that must been awesome

  • @kristie737
    @kristie737 9 років тому +341

    Schumer and Lawrence need to co host SNL

    • @dongrahamburg9050
      @dongrahamburg9050 9 років тому +7

      Holy Yes!

    • @Mikekramercomedy
      @Mikekramercomedy 9 років тому +6

      Yes...that would be great...then I wouldn't mind having missed another SNL episode.....

    • @jeanineshelby3307
      @jeanineshelby3307 9 років тому +1

      +kristie737 yes!

    • @Yuval012
      @Yuval012 7 років тому

      LiberalssuckdickYEAHUGOOGLE hey keep jews out of it, i'm jew and i find her disgusting and funny as a baby's corpse

    • @JeffWarren47
      @JeffWarren47 4 роки тому

      @@Yuval012 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LIKE.
      (Watch the Time Traveler set first)
      ua-cam.com/users/JeffWarren47

  • @tordyclark
    @tordyclark 7 років тому +63

    I love how the saxaphonist behind her laughs each time.

    • @bigfatbear943
      @bigfatbear943 3 роки тому +10

      Yeah cause he's getting paid😐

    • @timkelly6985
      @timkelly6985 2 роки тому +5

      He is high and would laugh at silence.

  • @joebenson528
    @joebenson528 3 роки тому +40

    "This was so funny I forgot to laugh" is more original than any Amy Schumer set.

    • @davidbak6984
      @davidbak6984 3 роки тому +2

      Ok. We got it. You guys hate her, that‘s ok.
      All these trolls in the comments are annoying and really laughable.
      You guys don‘t like her? Fine, humor is subjective, just watch something else.

    • @gwenlyda4958
      @gwenlyda4958 3 роки тому +2

      @@davidbak6984 well, I guess you could say that the comments are more laughable than her jokes

  • @InYudeBaybee
    @InYudeBaybee 9 років тому +8

    That butthole joke like I was dying she is so hilarious!

  • @CakeInALake
    @CakeInALake 3 роки тому +17

    First time listening to amy schumer and its basically
    1. Openly talking about childrens genitals.
    2.Having terrible tastes in men.
    3.Openly talking about killing people, AND LAUGHING.
    4.definitely not real laugh tracks btw.
    5. Lazer time was the best part.

  • @embem104
    @embem104 9 років тому +40

    I fucking love her, I think she's HILARIOUS. She knows she's not petite and over the top gorgeous or gods gift to the world and she laughs it off by making jokes about herself which is great 😂 She says things that everyone is thinking but too afraid to say

    • @Mikekramercomedy
      @Mikekramercomedy 9 років тому +2

      +embem104 --yeah right --I'm thinking how I'd like to wash my nieces vagina? ---what the hell kind of ignorance are you smoking? I don't think of anything this woman says. "Making jokes about one's self---I think Rodney had been doing that for as long as I can remember and most other comics do the same. Nothing new. She sucks.

    • @embem104
      @embem104 9 років тому +2

      Mike Kramer It's ok thats your opinion, you just have a different sense of humor than those who enjoy her. I think thats why people think she's funny because she's so out there and vulgar. I agree, not everything she says is relatable but still humerus.

    • @Mikekramercomedy
      @Mikekramercomedy 9 років тому

      embem104 Yes embem -- I appreciate that you like her ---you are right -- we all have different tastes --I don't like people saying that she is saying what I am thinking but too afraid to say. George Carlin said what I am thinking and may not want to say. Amy Shumer --not so much.

  • @W.orld.Breaker
    @W.orld.Breaker 3 роки тому +1

    Girl: Please put on some piano sounds. It helps me sleep better
    Me: *Plays this Clip*

  • @SireWolfman
    @SireWolfman 2 роки тому +34

    I could make funnier jokes at my worst than she can at her best

    • @lennypayne4241
      @lennypayne4241 2 роки тому

      And you’re a very unfunny hack at your best, so that’s saying a _lot_. 😮

    • @SireWolfman
      @SireWolfman 2 роки тому +1

      @@DG206 says you who commented, acting like you're on her side isn't gonna work bro, she's not gonna date you

    • @SireWolfman
      @SireWolfman 2 роки тому +1

      @@DG206 brotha no need to get salty about it, I really think anyone can be funnier than this woman, even a 3 year old

    • @JewishJeff839
      @JewishJeff839 Рік тому

      @@SireWolfman Do it, sissy...

  • @regrettablelifechoices5494
    @regrettablelifechoices5494 4 роки тому +153

    This was so hilariously unfunny that i had to watch the flowers behind her to keep me interested

    • @mrbombastic5644
      @mrbombastic5644 4 роки тому +3

      Watching the flowers wilt under the shitty jokes was pretty entertaining to be fair

    • @deviantmoore9744
      @deviantmoore9744 4 роки тому

      Wow, so quirky🤭

    • @s.stapes4040
      @s.stapes4040 3 роки тому +6

      men love to dislike her lmao like your entire personality is disliking amy schumer lol yikes

    • @regrettablelifechoices5494
      @regrettablelifechoices5494 3 роки тому +1

      @@s.stapes4040 just like yours is acting like you make a difference

    • @NAConen
      @NAConen 3 роки тому +1

      @@regrettablelifechoices5494 Are you 13? Get therapy.

  • @dustincrum1
    @dustincrum1 2 роки тому +3

    8:37 had me ROLLING 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀💀

  • @nataliedevine3991
    @nataliedevine3991 7 місяців тому +1

    I can imagine her playing brigette Jones in brigette Jones diary

  • @lurch5376
    @lurch5376 2 роки тому +9

    The title of this video should be: Amy Schumer but all the funny parts are cut out

  • @Rasfa
    @Rasfa 2 роки тому +15

    It's fashionable to dislike Amy, I guess. I've never been one to follow fashion though. This monologue was VERY good.

    • @ishyonbarberis5153
      @ishyonbarberis5153 2 роки тому

      Hell nah

    • @kamstilldabest2003
      @kamstilldabest2003 2 роки тому +1

      Please say sike right now.

    • @Apricate.
      @Apricate. 2 роки тому

      was it good though? ive never even heard of her. ive never heard of the hate. im not biased against her. yet i havent laughed once at any of her content. some of it is just random, vile or just unfunny. im still trying to find the punchlines.

  • @emilyli3468
    @emilyli3468 6 років тому +8

    The band behind her were laughing so hard hahahahaha

  • @Lilacwinedine
    @Lilacwinedine 8 місяців тому +2

    You cant deny Trainwreck was really funny... People just love hating her

  • @valeriesanchez3074
    @valeriesanchez3074 4 роки тому +30

    Way to go feature a comedian who steals jokes and uses them as her own creation 😆

    • @tayolenson2268
      @tayolenson2268 3 роки тому +5

      This isnt jokes,this is a normal converstion. She is stealing normal conversations

    • @blacksheepdog9810
      @blacksheepdog9810 3 роки тому

      It's called rich democratic politician's relative privilege. She is a relative of the oligarchy so she gets her free shot. Or free infiniti shots in her case.

  • @meld_eno
    @meld_eno 2 роки тому +8

    8:37 funniest part💀💀

  • @millers3888
    @millers3888 7 років тому +10

    On the Kardashians: “A family of women that take the faces they were born with as a light suggestion...” ☠️

  • @imskar3441
    @imskar3441 2 роки тому +1

    Try to laugh difficulty: expert level

  • @markalexander3659
    @markalexander3659 3 роки тому +4

    Haha that last joke reminds me of when I had a tooth infection and my dentist said "you can't drink on these anti-biotics" and I was like "I don't want them then" and he gave me a different one you COULD drink on lol. There are options!

  • @BedlamsBluff
    @BedlamsBluff 9 років тому +29

    She seems to have assumed many of Louis C.K.'s mannerisms.

    • @TheDancelover4ever
      @TheDancelover4ever 7 років тому +2

      Orion Black she's also stolen a couple of his jokes.

  • @brigland3726
    @brigland3726 7 років тому +6

    Ove you sooooon much Amy Schumer!! Much love from Austin TX,,, Plzz keep it up girl!

  • @superduperbob
    @superduperbob 2 роки тому +1

    *my face through out the entire video* : 😐😐😟😟😐😐😐😐

  • @DonQuixote1187
    @DonQuixote1187 9 років тому +19

    A woman who complains about women being objectified constantly objectifies herself. That makes a lot of sense. Also I do think she is funny.

    • @paleobc65
      @paleobc65 9 років тому

      +Gus Palomino yeah but she objectifies herself in a satirical way

    • @DonQuixote1187
      @DonQuixote1187 9 років тому +1

      paleobc65
      She also does it for real. She has stated that she dresses sexy to get more attention. I believe she said it on one of her Howard Stern interviews. Not that I think it is wrong to exploit your looks, but if you are fighting for a cause then you can't really be a hypocrite. Then again the cause of saving women who are upset about being judged based on how they look is absurd. We all judge each other based on our looks, and everyone exploits their natural beauty. It doesn't make sense to say that everyone is beautiful or that looks don't matter or whatever. It just isn't true.

    • @paleobc65
      @paleobc65 9 років тому +1

      +Gus Palomino I know what your talking about she said that she dresses sexy on comedy specials in case a man happens to see it on tv.BUt what she's trying to say is that theres a double standard for women and men when it comes to the entertainment industry

    • @DonQuixote1187
      @DonQuixote1187 9 років тому

      paleobc65
      Women and men are different. The reality is that women's look matter more than men's looks. There are evolutionary reasons for all of that. It isn't arbitrary. If we were actually equal then it would make sense to say it is unfair or a double standard, or whatever.

    • @paleobc65
      @paleobc65 9 років тому +3

      +Gus Palomino it's true biologically we are different but to say that womens looks matter than mens looks is ignorant, and should have nothing to do with talent or skill

  • @paleobc65
    @paleobc65 9 років тому +65

    FINALLY SOME NEW MATERIAL

    • @ryanhomcy7759
      @ryanhomcy7759 9 років тому +19

      +paleobc65 Actually the whole Bradley Cooper bit isn't new. She used it on Jimmy Fallon's show. Was a bit disappointed with that.

    • @mege3332
      @mege3332 9 років тому +5

      +Tom Helms she is actually known for repeating the same jokes over and over. The Bradley Cooper bit and the UTI joke were told on her standup and her appearance on Ellen. Almost verbatim :(

    • @steventurner5785
      @steventurner5785 9 років тому +1

      +Meg it's like a musician on tour for a album they have cycles use the jokes during one press circuit then they do new stuff for the next and most of this was new and she kinda changed the Bradley a little bit

    • @paleobc65
      @paleobc65 9 років тому +1

      +Ryan Homcy she modified it though

    • @mege3332
      @mege3332 9 років тому

      Tom Helms Steven Turner I get that. Trust me, I'm a huge fan of comedy and stand up. I'm just used to my favorites, Chapelle and Louis CK, who don't repeatedly tell the same jokes during public appearances. I love Amy though.

  • @joeyfitz9
    @joeyfitz9 5 років тому +26

    That was one of the best SNL monologues ever.

    • @letsthrowapartyfornoreason1976
      @letsthrowapartyfornoreason1976 4 роки тому +4

      Joseph are you ok?

    • @joeyfitz9
      @joeyfitz9 4 роки тому

      @@letsthrowapartyfornoreason1976 Ha! Perhaps I was exaggerating just a wee bit. Hyperbole is my middle name! Damn good monologue, though. You didn’t like it?

    • @clivebixby206
      @clivebixby206 4 роки тому

      @@joeyfitz9 body shaming, narcissism, p*dophelia...ha! Just my kinda comedy

    • @thatoneguy07
      @thatoneguy07 2 роки тому

      @@joeyfitz9 it fuckings sucked and Amy is one of the most unfunny comedians I’ve ever seen in my life, plus she steals jokes

    • @y2k8_818
      @y2k8_818 2 роки тому

      Worst*

  • @soggyclouds
    @soggyclouds 2 роки тому +1

    Currently crying from second hand embarrassment

  • @jamesdot87
    @jamesdot87 4 роки тому +22

    say what you want but this was hilarious

    • @bigfatbear943
      @bigfatbear943 4 роки тому +1

      Bruh you got no life if you find this harlarious.

    • @jamesdot87
      @jamesdot87 4 роки тому

      @@bigfatbear943 you got no life replying to a comment 7 months old 😂🤣😂🤣🤦🏽‍♂️

    • @logangster89
      @logangster89 3 роки тому

      if you find her funny i have to question the validity of you having a working brain and you being an actual human

    • @jamesdot87
      @jamesdot87 3 роки тому

      @@logangster89 We all have questions....I question if you’ve ever been with a women before 🤣🤣 lol

    • @logangster89
      @logangster89 3 роки тому +1

      @@jamesdot87 I haven’t because I’m under age, it’s a bit illegal

  • @michalhrdy577
    @michalhrdy577 5 років тому +226

    4 years and i'm still coming back to it, such a great, hilarious monologue, absolutely love amy

    • @muunhead
      @muunhead 5 років тому

      Me too! Haha

    • @Samuelprit
      @Samuelprit 4 роки тому +74

      we watching the same video this is the most unfunny shit ever ?

    • @houtan4238
      @houtan4238 4 роки тому +10

      @@Samuelprit yep

    • @nimermartinez5261
      @nimermartinez5261 4 роки тому

      @@Samuelprit Amy is so sad because of your comment.

    • @cameronalvarez6983
      @cameronalvarez6983 4 роки тому +4

      @@nimermartinez5261 chebz is a goat

  • @patrickwhelan5703
    @patrickwhelan5703 6 років тому +114

    You know when the host nails the opening when the band members are cracking up!

    • @nihilist_lol
      @nihilist_lol 4 роки тому +12

      Idiot. They are fucking paid for that.

    • @bigfatbear943
      @bigfatbear943 4 роки тому +7

      Ok bot

    • @smuggzmug7595
      @smuggzmug7595 3 роки тому

      @@nihilist_lol or maybe humour is subjective. Nah that’s a crazy idea my bad bro.

    • @nihilist_lol
      @nihilist_lol 3 роки тому +9

      @@smuggzmug7595 SHES THE WORST, OMG

    • @Voxites
      @Voxites 2 роки тому +2

      @@smuggzmug7595But when it comes to her, it is objective.

  • @Aniyy28
    @Aniyy28 3 роки тому +1

    When the comment section is funnier than her entire career..😪😪😪

  • @yaseminmerwede8181
    @yaseminmerwede8181 5 років тому +237

    I'm not big on her stand-up but this was a hysterical few minutes.

    • @johnwhitfield8150
      @johnwhitfield8150 5 років тому +6

      Guybrush Threepwood every stand up piece is stolen

    • @renatofabbro5263
      @renatofabbro5263 5 років тому +33

      @@johnwhitfield8150 Let's not exaggerate. Yes, she did steal a few things from other comedians, and I'm not excusing it, but she does create the majority of her own material.

    • @MassWonderFC
      @MassWonderFC 4 роки тому +9

      @@renatofabbro5263 her only original jokes are
      ‘Haha vigina’

    • @thwipp5711
      @thwipp5711 3 роки тому +5

      You missed “ haha men suck”

    • @Bamburfix
      @Bamburfix 3 роки тому +1

      @@thwipp5711 and "my kid is bald"

  • @EleCticCOokie
    @EleCticCOokie 3 роки тому +24

    To everyone making jokes about amy schumer in the comments, you better stop it cause we know shes gonna try to steal them.

  • @lisha23
    @lisha23 6 років тому +4

    " she lost a Kendell " lol.... I couldn't believe she said this.

  • @RobertoDeMundo
    @RobertoDeMundo 3 роки тому +15

    This is comedy gold
    If applied with minecraft logic

    • @ethanhawksley9097
      @ethanhawksley9097 3 роки тому

      What?

    • @ironmeteorite1343
      @ironmeteorite1343 3 роки тому +5

      @@ethanhawksley9097 Gold in Minecraft is pretty weak and useless, so he is saying her comedy is weak and useless.

    • @ethanhawksley9097
      @ethanhawksley9097 3 роки тому +1

      @@ironmeteorite1343 well... gold does have really good uses in 1.16 with bartering

    • @thetruelord1317
      @thetruelord1317 3 роки тому +1

      @@ethanhawksley9097 Wow u seem cool at parties cause everybody loves the comedy police!

    • @ethanhawksley9097
      @ethanhawksley9097 3 роки тому +2

      @@thetruelord1317 I'll have you know my great grandfather was part of the Comedy Police, he was in the Eight Division. It really hurts me when people like you dishonor his name and legacy by saying that. Please, be more considerate of others next time.
      God speed, Paps. God speed.

  • @jasminehouston-burns1691
    @jasminehouston-burns1691 5 років тому +102

    I disliked Amy at first, mostly because everyone else said she is this terrible unfunny joke thief but then I never found anything that I thought really rose to justifying that claim. Sometimes .....I even laughed. I've made jokes, people make jokes. Sometimes people make very similar observations, but if even the comedians aren't saying she stole their jokes, isn't it like time to let that shit go?
    This is one of the funniest monologues I've ever seen on SNL front to back and it is almost impossible to say she stole these jokes, but I'm sure someone will try.

    • @antotheja251
      @antotheja251 5 років тому +20

      I agree. It is men telling us what to like. And a confident woman is often seen as a bitch especially if funny and successful.
      Almost all male comics steal but nobody makes a fuzz about that.
      She has been in comedy for over 15 yrs which means her material has been stolen by some male comics and yet men want us to believe she stole their shit. As if female comediens have it easier.
      It is BS! She is hilarious and all of the stuff I have seen of her is def not stolen bc it is very personal, if she makes that funny- she is funny. And those complaining are hypocrits. Let us not give them space and time

    • @magicalsodacan7066
      @magicalsodacan7066 5 років тому +8

      There are compilations of her stealing jokes from other shows, search it up

    • @shoomert
      @shoomert 5 років тому +2

      Anto theja Way to make a comic issue into a gender issue. Jesus

    • @c1o2o3l4z5b6o7y8z9
      @c1o2o3l4z5b6o7y8z9 4 роки тому

      Pre 2016 schumer was great. Everything past that is just sad and forgetable

    • @iluvbooty
      @iluvbooty 4 роки тому

      I like Amy but yeah you didn’t look hard enough for those videos

  • @tdogtheartist
    @tdogtheartist 8 років тому +12

    Her last line was BRILLIANT. I think it was so good it made you think then laugh hilariously vs. knee jerk laugh. Amy, you are the voice of the people. Like Pryor, like Bruce, like Louie Ck... you are authentic and pure... fucking funny. love you.