The foster care system destroys children . It’s completely heartbreaking. I wish all these ppl that fight for abortions laws would start yelling about the foster care system ! These poor children grow up to be adults with heartbreaking stories and lives . Crash I hope you are able to get that job and start down a new path . 🙏
@@btnhl I think its from mostly not having a family and seeing other people around you ( i.e at school) with " normal lives" and seeing that you don't have what they have ( money, biological people that bring you up and care about you). but no doubt those that end up in abusive foster families lives get fucked up as well.
You must start with life there are many people that aren’t part of a governmental system that love and care and do what they can For these children. It’s easy to point fingersShowing kindness in small ways can bring great results
@@btnhl Look up the statistics. The outlook for foster kids is grim. Sure, some make it out just fine, but it's not the norm. Many end up homeless, on drugs, or in jail. I did graduate high school by the skin of my teeth (I'm book smart but didn't do my homework.). I aged out of the system without any life skills. I didn't know how to cook, do laundry, or be financially savvy. I couch surfed, ended up in a handful of bad relationships, drank a lot to numb my feelings. I'm 44 now and my life has improved greatly, but I'm still struggling. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I'm struggling to save money for job training (phlebotomy) and driving lessons so I can finally get my driver's license. If I hadn't been taken away from my parents, I'd for sure be worse off in life. I'd probably be dead. I apologize for the novel. Sometimes it just all comes out.
He is an extremely aware individual. When he said he was cognizant of everything that’s happened in his life, I believe him. I hate the hand he was dealt. But, he’s extremely intelligent and has been able to cope despite all of the hardships. I’m hopeful that one day he can find peace so that he doesn’t have to live in a constant state of fight or flight. Keep pushing man, stay strong. One day at a time. Sending a lot of love your way.
Man, he’s had a rough hand dealt. I can tell why he never trusts, or gets used to anything. Hope you find genuinely good people to surround yourself with, some that can show you what true friendships, and relationships are, without stipulation. Good vibes, and blessings brother.
Trust issues also comes from the paranoia of Meth. Even though they have these bad traumas, you cant put aside the fact he does meth, opiods. Those two drugs fk with you bad mentally
He won't because he thought he had and turned out , they were fake too. I'm afraid people like that hardly ever find genuine people they can connect with
Man. He is literally the epitome of trauma. Reactive attachment disorder. Crash. Fuck man. I am so sorry about your daughter. I cannot imagine what that was like for you (or how it continues to be for you.) Keep strong.
Crash, you speak so eloquently. Your use of the english language is beautiful. You know how to paint a picture of how you feel and that is rare. I think you should start to write about your life. Writing could also be an outlet to process those hard to handle feelings. I wish you didn't have to feel like an outsider in your mind. I see an articulate and principal person that wants the best for his children. If someone has called you 'weird', I would question THEIR values! Maybe the life that you have lived has made you turn inside. Made you you want to hide what you have inside you. But I tell you Crash, what I see is a good man that was delt a bad hand. But you have grown to be a man that your children could look up to. You have NOTHING to be embarrassed. Embarrassment is a “self-conscious emotion". For myself it took a long time not to give too much emphasis on what others say. Especially people that have fucking no value to your life. I hope you can find a way to deal with your emotions in an other way than drugs. I know you have it in you! It wouldn't be easy, but I wish you know that there a a lot of people here that hope you can get your life on track. You deserve it! greetings from Finland
Im sitting here watching this at 40 years old and I can’t imagine walking a day in this man’s shoes . I feel so bad for this man he seems like a really good person that’s suffering a tremendous amount of pain , I see a very interested individual that has this mystic way of being that is so different I pray some kind of miracle forms in his life I think he could write one hell of a book and that may be the one thing that could change his life in so many ways . He’s got amazing talent that was formed by living through tragic situations no one could fathom
He told his story real good, and I believe him when he says he didnt do the crime he was senteced for. Stay strong Crash, I cant imagine how hard it must have been so far.
I believe him too. That must hurt so bad. Being blamed for the death of his daughter. You can tell he's a good soul who is lost and would love to have a family.
The absence of any favourite memory as a kid broke my heart. He never had a chance and I’m sending love and light, Crash. You deserve more than you’ve been dealt and I hope you can heal your soul.
I thought the same. Its almost like he's stuck in constant purgatory and you can tell all he really wants is what he was denied- a family and true connection.
The guy is on parole he shouldn't be telling on himself that he is drug dealing, that he is getting high, that he has a bunch of ICE on him, that he always caries a weapon. All parole violations. And if you don't want people to know you don't come on a show with 3.34 million subscribers. I hope this guy makes it.
California doesn't really care about drugs anymore...theyve practically decriminalized it..a fat sack of meth would just be a misdemeanor. They write you a ticket .. Would still be a parole violation I'm sure but they really don't care
Life can be hard when you’re this intelligent and have such a high level of self awareness. He was dealt such a bad hand it breaks my heart because he seems life a nice guy thrust into these situations and lifestyle. I just can’t believe how cruel people can be and I really hope he finds happiness and stability
Have a mother that is mentally ill and a father who was a world war 11veteran life as a child was like you were there but not loved because they had their issues to deal with it was lonely had to hide my feelings and not expect much have not had a normal relationship because I felt broken and can't give love but I cannot but it is too late because I don't have anyone I have my kids but it is not the same
Crash, God bless you. Your a good man that spoke from heart. Don’t ever give up on yourself, you deserve everything you’ve wished for and it will happen. Your smart and a problem solver.
My heart is breaking for this man. I can’t possibly imagine how it must feel to lose a child AND be unjustly blamed for their death. I just want to hug him. And FYI you don’t look like the type of man women regret being with. I hope you get well and get the family you deserve.
“If it came to me saying something it was long over due” “I’ve always been quick to fill my head I’m a small guy” damn I felt that. Also “Some of them have been genuine goddesses in the flesh and I’ve been blessed to worship… but love is elusive” 😫😫😫😫
".. it's just they make it real difficult to be a good person. Tired of getting kicked, ya know?" "Some of them have been genuine goddesses in the flesh.. and I've been blessed to worship." two comments highlighting the despair + joy of just living. Thanks for sharing, crash + mark. You are appreciated.
The majority of the people that grew up in the system don’t know the potential, the great person they could be because in most cases they were never told or shown how.
Sounds like this man has gone through an insurmountable amount of pain. But in my eyes he is the definition of a badass. His energy definitely does not deserve to be in jail. Rooting for you.
So many people comment “this person is so intelligent, well spoken and gifted” on a video of an absolute drooling retard. This guy actually seems like he could function fairly decent in society.
I feel for this guy 😞😞 what he says about foster care is so true 😞 I was in foster care for two years and was in 5 different placements. Gosh those times were awful. Thank god my family got custardy after that. I still remember the magic and power of actually being part of a family (even though they weren’t perfect). I can’t imagine the childhood this guy had
I'm a foster mom I have fostered way over 200 dogs.... and 3 kids came to my door looking for work I said "I have lots of work but I can't pay you" they kept coming back and asked to stay.... cps got involved they were taken away from me.. and I fought for them... since then real mom has passed drug or covid? and they want nothing to do with the dad. Or bio grandparents... they don't feel like foster kids to them I'm Grandma they know they are loved I know I am loved by them.. they tell me on the daily. I never planed on have foster kids I'm now have Gaurdingship they are my family. I hear so many people talk so bad about foster care. I never ment to be a foster parent. My kids picked me.. and we are a family...
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Having a baby die from sids is hard enough but then being blamed for it, I can't even fathom that. It's not something you get over. I hope you can find a place that can give you peace someday. You deserve that. Thanks for sharing your story with all of us. It takes a lot of courage to do that and I can see that you have so much strength. Don't give up, don't let the bad guys win. Let your kids be the reason you thrive. They will always need you. ❤️🩹
Man these interviews are so deep and they rly make you think how F'd life rly is and what a shitty world we live in. It also makes you realise how self destructive humans are.
It's bad shit man..don't EVER f* with it. I haven't f*d with it in over 25 years...it's bad news man, shit will rewire your brain and make you crazy,even if you do get clean from it... That shit stays with you. I have friends that this has happened to. Fuck. That. Shit!
Crash, I have the utmost respect for you brother. For what you’ve been through, I am inspired at how eloquent and insightful you are. You’re perseverance and love for your kids is palpable. I know you can’t change your circumstances and it sounds like you live in flight or fight to survive. ..I get it…I’m a pediatrician in a rough neighbourhood and watching this gives me a perspective on how and what the kids I work with actually need…hope and support…I hope I can provide them with some of what you needed back then. Thank you brother for giving me this insight. I’ll think of you in my daily work.
How can we help this man? I felt his pain and I'm not sure we can do to help ease that pain. I offer you my prayers Crash. You truly deserve a new lease in life that is happy and peaceful.
i have newborn twins and this story killed me. Crash, i hope you can find the strength and serenity to continue to take care of yourself and your children. don’t quit. one day you will be rewarded by the universe for not giving up. your strength and courage is an inspiration
Hmm... This one is tricky. While this is only a 30-minute glimpse into the life of this man, who I don't doubt had a difficult childhood, compounded by drug addiction in adulthood, there does seem to be some denial (maybe even deception?) when it comes to the injury and death of his daughter. The interview begins with him telling us the death was SIDS. But near the end of the interview, he's detailing a day of drinking, followed by pushing the twins home in a stroller, then running with them in the rain and tripping over uneven pavement and falling, tumbling and landing on top of them. As if he's attempting to provide a reason for the injuries that don't support the SIDS claim.
I’m sorry but if your an actual drug dealer and are trying to stay under the radar, you don’t go on a UA-cam channel with millions of followers an announce it.
Crash is someone I'd like to know and/or at least work with. Genuinly good guy at heart I think, and he's able to tell his story well. Also, you're doing important work here Mr. Laita.
Man do I relate with this man... you know it sucks so bad that you can tell this man is super intelligent, intellectual, introspective and just so full of depth... all these things, while he may not feel like much or have trust or high self esteem or feel as though he as anything to offer, that to me is the craziest part bc to me, personally, all I see and hear is VALUE... this man could alter and change so many hearts and minds in a positive way, but bc the life he has lived, relationships that have been ended abruptly, constant change etc, bc of all these things, it's like he's shutting down all of these attributes that he has to offer... almost like intentionally dimming his own shine, his own light... and it's sad... as a fellow introspective, empathetic and a person who observes people, you see so many surface level, narcissistic, shallow, ego driven, selfish assholes winning and having good things constantly happening, while you know good people, with great hearts that are caring and want to help others, and they just get shifted on, taken advantage of, used and devalued... it's a heartbreaking, cruel and unfair world, and that's a certain thing... I pray that in God's will that those who deserve the most will one day get their just due... you can tell this man has a huge heart, and he's suppressing it just to traverse this planet and the sad state of affairs that people are in... just a cut throat society... truly... people get to the top and than just spit down at those below.. the whole game and system is flawed and rigged in the worst way. God willing one day the poor and oppressed will rise up in God's favor :) prayers for this man
I reflect on these stories and think how close I came to being him. "Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die". Try to let it all go if you can - it does get easier as you age if you have the right mindset.
What an extraordinarily bright individual. It's a shame so much darkness befell him. Crash... I hope things improve for you. You've got an exceptionally sharp mind, and a lot of hard-earned wisdom. I wish you didn't have to bear such a burden of pain and branding from a difficult past, and present.
Crash, I’m gonna be praying for you sweetie, I’m literally heartbroken by your story, I can feel your pain, hear it and see it. You’re a damn good genuine soul that doesn’t want or ask for much but deserves it. Please be careful with what you do and get into because those drugs especially are tools of the devil to get you caught up or dead. Please call out to God, He’s the only one who truly knows your pain, but you’ve gotta call on Him, He gives us choice. The amount of pain that you’re baring is too painful to see. I hope and pray you find God because He is our true peace. Much love to you hon. God bless you, I myself have had run in’s with both them drugs and it’s pure hell. Please get away from them for your life’s sake. God didn’t allow you to die because you have purpose, you have Kid’s and you have you, please love you and give Him and chance while you’re still alive because once we’re dead it’s too late. God bless you brother.
The deep furrows on this man's forehead tell a long story... I send you loads of good vibes, Crash, may your circumstances sway in the right direction soon. May your load be lightened.
It’s insane to me this dude literally turned of adult age and was locked up ever since but you’d never know. He’s very insightful I relate so much to him
Enjoyed listening to him.Thanks Mark. A sad beginning , but a fighter. Keep on being strong, for yourself and your kids. Every day alive is a blessing Sir. Yesterday's gone.
It’s really unfortunate and sad to hear of Crash’s experiences. As a Mom it was triggering to hear of the SIDS story. However, I also feel like there’s some pieces missing to that story. How would she suddenly vomit in her sleep? Were the parents using drugs during this time? I know a parent whose infant died of SIDS and no one I’ve seen or heard of has done nearly 2 decades in prison unless there were obvious signs of abuse or neglect.
@Austin D agreed! He just didn’t seem truthful and sounded like he was seeking a lot of pity. I know our judicial system isn’t the best, but no one gets into that much trouble with the law unless they did something.
In the beginning he said his daughter died from SIDS.. he later says she fell out a stroller.. just pointing this out. I can’t help but to question the rest of his story because of this….
I wish I could just conversate with him.. I feel him and I wish I could just be there and have conversation with him, I see a really good guy that would be a lot of fun if he ever were to open up with the right person and go enjoy doing something in life with them.. it's deep but really wish I could just sit with him like mark
What an intelligent, well spoken, heart broken man. I sure hope he can find the peace he deserves to give himself in this life. If THIS is how he can describe his hardships & addiction- so eloquently- while high.. can you imagine how he would be sober?!
listen man its NOT THE END if you are reading this i was also born into same bullshit I was smokin crack shootin dope and meth all day when i was selling it was a 7gram habit a day I MADE a change got on methadone and started helping animals and the elderly now I got my own place where i breed dogs and take care of my elderly grandma the thoughts wont ever go away i still cut and still have my down times but its possible and im all the way out here in Boston PLEASE STOP DOBUTING AND LOOKING DOWN on urself because you matter!@!!@!! fuck everyone else I believe in you! Get a dog and just focus on providing for that dog while ur on methadone eventually you will realize someone depends on you!!! i love u brother im also a addict that was delt a shit hand when i was born but it can change much love and good luck -
I really heard when you said it's hard being a good person, what's really hard is when we believe someone's beliefs about who we are Don't be afraid to fall people will catch you if you let them. Love yourself, so you can be the light for your children. Love Australia x
Mark, thanks for all you do, and the stories you shine a light on. You are appreciated more than you know, by myself, and I’m sure by a whole lot of others. Please keep sharing these stories, as long as you are able to. Good vibes, and many blessings brother.
Once you ring that bell, you can’t unring it.. I felt that ♥️ I really feel for him. He looks and acts “tough” but this man has a big heart. He is hurt beyond words. He feels so misunderstood, alone, an outcast, he is very introverted so can’t share his thoughts and feelings that well, he has been mistreated his whole life. I feel so sorry for him and I wish him all the best. He really deserves a break.
I understand what he means by ,it's hard to be a good person. Sometimes this cruel world hardens good natured, good hearted ppl. I hope you can heal and embrace the loving person you were made to be .
You been through a lot but its time Crash. Its time to find peace within your self and stand the faack up and live bro. I can’t imagine what you went through but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and man the faack up. Find help, happiness and love and be a good father. ❤️
This guy has some massive trust issues and I hope he gets better. Honestly I'm from Canada and things are different out here. I'm not saying come right on over but remember that the world is bigger then the space your stuck in and your welcome
I’m surprised to see this here. This is a good friend of mine I lost contact with. I’d like to reconnect with him, but I don’t know how to get a hold of him.
Yeah...as much as I hate to say it...I didn't quite believe that part of his story. He kinda skimmed over the moment about what happened to the baby. Idk ...I hope I'm wrong but...something doesn't add up with that story....
That's what I'm thinking. Crazy how people just readily believe every word out of a lifelong hard drug user and dealer's mouth. Guess they are all smarter than the jury who studied and weighed the evidence.
Crash! You are an absolute Amazing Soul! Extremely intelligent. Articulate your words so very well. Please please see your worth, you SHINE! YOU have so much to offer this world that has repeatedly failed you in every sense of the word! From the depths of my soul, I send light and love with positive affirmations. Mark your are the best! Everyday I learn more and more about humanity through you. I subscribe because I believe in you. If Crash will accept it, please facilitate some sort of resource to lead him to a place where his gift of life and understanding can help others! Wow he has so much to share! Follow up with Crash, please!
I feel for this dude. You’d have to be blind to not see he’s a good dude deep down and would not hurt a child. He’s a dude like a lot of people that slip through the cracks
Everyone is very sympathetic to this man. If she died of “SIDS” that would be proven. He admitted he was not a good guy and his daughter had vomit and blood when she was found deceased. My thoughts are the parents were both High and pissed that this baby was screaming. But those are my thoughts. This man is high as hell on crystal. I love how in Marks interviews they love and want their kids……….but, they do nothing due to their addictions. I wish these people would not procreate. They do it for selfish reasons to get housing and a check til they are taken away. Good Luck Crash Man.
Sweetheart, Crash....I audibly gasped when you shared the Christmas event and my throat tightened...The tethered leash of Methadone....My CPTSD started my anxiety humming as you explained things you were feeling/dealing with today. I can tell you, wholeheartedly, this isn't all there is. There is a side of this life you can still live while there's breath in your lungs. Don't give up. EVER. You are being sustained here for a reason and a purpose. It is always darkest before the sweetest morning. Right before I felt in life that I was just existing in survival mode, pain, anxiety constantly on and elevated, I almost destroyed myself completely...I believe if you focus on humility, opening your heart to the idea of a personal relationship with your Maker, you'll be surprised what will come to you! After an insane set of events in my life, it finally broke, so I could be rebuilt...its sounding a lot like you're close to being done with the things that keep you from what you truly are inside. It's been my experience that if you press forward with those steps in place, you'll find that in any situation, you'll see abundance of love and understanding...Discernment and strength. Crash, I think you are so close, man. Don't stop before the good part ♥️ These are tailored trials you're facing and their biggest weapon on you right now is the perception that you are stuck, it's never going to get better...Don't allow the lies of that fear dictate the outcome of your story! Sorry for this novel but I hope you read it and know you are loved!
It probably takes more drugs to get you high. I see a lot of Irish in you. You’re also very much able to just not do drugs easier than many others. Prayers to you for a full filled and blessed life with your children.🙏❤️
Only JESUS knows of your pain and suffering, the injustices, unbearable trials... Because he suffered all of them for you and for me, he remembers every tear.... And you will be given peace, healing, and joy, and unimaginable happiness.... Because there is a HEAVEN... AND JESUS IS THERE WAITING FOR YOU.
I particularly liked this guy. So much of what he thinks about people and life resonates with me. These videos sure make you wish you could help the people.
Shitty things happen to decent people. I think about having to go through that with my children and it crushes me. I feel for this dude. I hope there’s a happy ending for you bro
Dude, get suboxone and handle life like a 40 year old does. Get your relationship back with your kids who are most likely teenagers or young adults at this point. You seem like a good person, but you are using your past as a crutch to continue your fall down the rabbit hole. You will have a lot of people rallying around you once you do.
Thanks for sharing your story. As a person in recovery from heroin and meth these videos do more for my recovery than meeting or anything. I hope you can find some peace man, you deserve it.
Oh man this story is so sad. I feel for you dude!!! You’ve had a rough life I wish the best for you from now on!! You deserve love and acceptance I hope you find it one day! I can tell you’re a good guy who has had shitty things happen. I really hope you find happiness.❤️
Any addict who says “I would’ve remembered that, I would have known.” Is always a red flag. There are so many crushed and shaken babies due to drugs and violence that we see in healthcare. It’s a sad state all around. Folks like this guy need a system that helps not tosses them aside. How can he be a decent parent when he never even had one growing up?
@@vacheriedevacherie1959 As a recovering addict I agree with you. However, being severely addicted to drugs does not really allow for "good parenting" per say but it does not make it impossible. I personally did not have children because of this and some are sicker than others. I believe that some addicted people think that children will cure them, ease their pain and allow them to undo what was done to them because they are very sick and they don't understand the ramifications fully, even someone like himself who clearly is a victim of his environment and the abandonment and lack of parenting he experienced as a child. I knew not to have children because I knew I was not going to be a good mother and I never wanted to put a child through what I went through. Again, some people are sicker than others in their addiction and we're dealing with a lot of mental health issues and people who are lacking love, care and guidance and so in their twisted thought processes, most likely they are thinking that a brand new baby in the world would be an excellent way to receive unconditional love and provide a safe and warm environment ideally that they did not have. Unfortunately, addicts do not normally play the tape all the way through and so they lack the ability to see the picture clearly and the reality clearly and we all know what that is. Unfortunately in most cases they end up destroying another life and they delve further and further into their addictions due to overwhelming guilt, shame, remorse and unbearable pain. This is NOT an excuse, I just speak from experience and know how his feelings and low self-esteem and lack of any discipline or parental love or guidance have dictated every move he is made in his life most likely. A lot of kids like him never do recover at all and if that's the situation there will never be any peace and there will be no understanding and we will be stuck with our thumbs up our asses trying to figure out what to do with all these damaged individuals. This calls for at least a little compassion and probably an ability to see past your judgment. Everybody judges I get it, however, not everybody processes trauma and pain as well as the next guy and it just spirals from there. Once you are an adult you cannot make excuses the rest of your life for your screw UPS but you also cannot kick your own ass until the day you die over past transgressions or the cycle will never be broken and we will then find ourselves looking in the face of another damaged and mixed up individual most probably working on continuing the cycle until it goes on ad infinitum OR try a little understanding and a lot of work on yourself and hopefully break the cycle so that they're offspring does not end up the way he has.
@@incantationsbykaryn having a child to fill a void is a bad idea from the get go, as adults we know this. As adults, we also have the capacity to learn, see, seek help, read, see a therapist, etc. It’s hard enough for people to be decent parents without any drugs or alcohol, if you put those substances on too of it, you are doomed. Kids are not dumb, they see their parents and what they do. I don’t really care about the « I need someone to love me unconditionally » bit, that is just selfish, very selfish.!
@@BEARHUGOUTDOORS He was convicted, doesn't mean he did it. Did you listen to him? Even a little? I believe him. And even IF he did it, he served his time and paid his debt to society.
@@BEARHUGOUTDOORS I respectfully disagree with you. He was in and out of foster care, never really had parents. Didn't have the foundation of family life like many of us did. Did you not hear him say he ran away as a young teen and the state didn't care?!? He also found his uncle dead, hanging at the age of 7! I'm sure what we heard in this interview was a small blip in the trauma and hardships he's had. You can believe what you want, but I wonder how you or I would have ended up if we'd experienced such atrocities?...
I am not promoting drug use in any way but this dude is like this “high as fuck right now” on crystal and can interact like this, work etc… And I’m over here not able to keep track of my keys and wallet. Meth-Amphetamines we’re used for ADHD way back in the day or some form of, I wonder if he has ADHD along with all the other traumatic experiences. It’s hard to love yourself when you you’ve had every bit of love taken away from you , regardless of the reasons.
Mark......have a blessed 🙌 Easter holiday. I found you by accident. And so grateful that i did. You bring it home honestly. These stories are real. Raw and so thought provoking. The problem is the ones that truly want help.... I want to help them Every. Single. One. They deserve love peace and happiness as human beings. God my heart hurts. But please keep them telling their stories. Godspeed x
Man, he should write a novel. Get with a publisher who will help him navigate his experiences on page. He’s got a rich, intense and deeply tragic story to tell.
"Every time you have to reset to be something different for somebody else." What a harsh reality about today's foster system in most places. Without some meaningful intervention it is hard to think that many of these outcomes could be any different than what they end up being. Luckily there are those out there that are the light that many of those lost within this quagmire of a system need. When I see the comments on many of your interviews, no matter how sad, I'm heartened by realizing through the comments of others how much concern, care, and empathy exists within this world. Prayers and hope for this man that has been through so much.
"They make it real difficult to be a good person! " Yes he is right because people will tell you to be a good person and then they will laugh at you for being nice, they will kick you out. They will tell you to be yourself and then they will tell you to fit the norm. They will tell you they want to help you then they will mock you for having mental issues, trauma, depression, addiction. People change faster than seasons.
I think that means you need better people in your life. It’s Spring, maybe a good cleaning is due? I’ve push those negative people out of my life, and I’m doing lots better for it.
The people telling you to be a good person might be entirely different from the people doing the other things. You can't just lump them all together because they're the same species. You're part of the species too, and you presumably don't accuse yourself of all of that. You see yourself as an individual and others as a collective.
@@jumpinjohnnyruss indeed. But ppl who tell me to be good are usually bad people, i know them. My aunts giving me lectures about virginity and good deeds blah blah but they are the ones who do the opposite. This is just an example but what i mean is ppl love to lecture, school and scold. Of course im a human being to it's just i hate being left behind, no one asks about my opinion, whatever
Child murder is a tough jacket to have in Prison on the West Coast. He’s lucky he’s even alive still. I guarantee this dude had a rough bid… no tears here, just sayin
I was talking to a detective about a young guy who is always in trouble with the guards(police) and I said to him we would have ended up like him if we had his bad parents or lack of! He agreed..Crash never had a chance at the start of life, hopefully though one day that may all change. Good luck Crash and I'm sorry you've been through so much.⭐️
The way you just let people go without editorializing, you can almost always tell who is telling you their 'story' and who's telling you what actually happened. Like the guest reveals it themselves with their actions or story telling style or the fact that "bad things keep happening to me for 'NO' reason" but you start a story with taking prem infants on a stroll while you're drunk. Good intentions won't negate bad habits.
time for my daily dose of "life isnt that bad really after all"
More like your daily dose of: this is what happens when you (or your parents) don’t make bad decisions.
You and me both!
true
Makes all my problems seem so small. Daily dose of be grateful for what I have.
For real im grateful for everything i have and great parents
The foster care system destroys children . It’s completely heartbreaking. I wish all these ppl that fight for abortions laws would start yelling about the foster care system ! These poor children grow up to be adults with heartbreaking stories and lives . Crash I hope you are able to get that job and start down a new path .
🙏
Totally! Their lives can be far worse that if they had never been born. So incredibly sad and the cycle continues over and over.
@@btnhl I think its from mostly not having a family and seeing other people around you ( i.e at school) with " normal lives" and seeing that you don't have what they have ( money, biological people that bring you up and care about you). but no doubt those that end up in abusive foster families lives get fucked up as well.
along with never having stable environment growing up ( bouncing from family to family)
You must start with life there are many people that aren’t part of a governmental system that love and care and do what they can For these children. It’s easy to point fingersShowing kindness in small ways can bring great results
@@btnhl Look up the statistics. The outlook for foster kids is grim. Sure, some make it out just fine, but it's not the norm. Many end up homeless, on drugs, or in jail. I did graduate high school by the skin of my teeth (I'm book smart but didn't do my homework.). I aged out of the system without any life skills. I didn't know how to cook, do laundry, or be financially savvy. I couch surfed, ended up in a handful of bad relationships, drank a lot to numb my feelings. I'm 44 now and my life has improved greatly, but I'm still struggling. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I'm struggling to save money for job training (phlebotomy) and driving lessons so I can finally get my driver's license. If I hadn't been taken away from my parents, I'd for sure be worse off in life. I'd probably be dead. I apologize for the novel. Sometimes it just all comes out.
He is an extremely aware individual. When he said he was cognizant of everything that’s happened in his life, I believe him. I hate the hand he was dealt. But, he’s extremely intelligent and has been able to cope despite all of the hardships. I’m hopeful that one day he can find peace so that he doesn’t have to live in a constant state of fight or flight. Keep pushing man, stay strong. One day at a time. Sending a lot of love your way.
👍👏❤️
Man, he’s had a rough hand dealt. I can tell why he never trusts, or gets used to anything. Hope you find genuinely good people to surround yourself with, some that can show you what true friendships, and relationships are, without stipulation. Good vibes, and blessings brother.
Trust issues also comes from the paranoia of Meth. Even though they have these bad traumas, you cant put aside the fact he does meth, opiods. Those two drugs fk with you bad mentally
He won't because he thought he had and turned out , they were fake too. I'm afraid people like that hardly ever find genuine people they can connect with
He killed his baby, and he is riddled with guilt. That is a hand he dealt himself 🙏🏼
It’s so heartbreaking. I’m wishing him the best 🥺💜
@@nikkicaters7857 but to fair and im not saying he didnt...only he knows , and yea hes living in his own head
When he said that anti depression medicine takes a way from your spirit and personality. Facts.
It saved my life.
but meth is a better option? huh? he's slamming dope, and worried about his spirit. the math ain't mathin..
Not for everyone. The ones I take have allowed me to have a happy life despite my mental health issues.
Man. He is literally the epitome of trauma. Reactive attachment disorder. Crash. Fuck man. I am so sorry about your daughter. I cannot imagine what that was like for you (or how it continues to be for you.) Keep strong.
Sometimes you just wanna hug ppl thru the screen. This man needs a good hug and someone to hear him without judgment
Yes.💔
Definitely
Crash, you speak so eloquently. Your use of the english language is beautiful. You know how to paint a picture of how you feel and that is rare. I think you should start to write about your life. Writing could also be an outlet to process those hard to handle feelings.
I wish you didn't have to feel like an outsider in your mind. I see an articulate and principal person that wants the best for his children. If someone has called you 'weird', I would question THEIR values! Maybe the life that you have lived has made you turn inside. Made you you want to hide what you have inside you. But I tell you Crash, what I see is a good man that was delt a bad hand. But you have grown to be a man that your children could look up to. You have NOTHING to be embarrassed. Embarrassment is a “self-conscious emotion". For myself it took a long time not to give too much emphasis on what others say. Especially people that have fucking no value to your life.
I hope you can find a way to deal with your emotions in an other way than drugs. I know you have it in you! It wouldn't be easy, but I wish you know that there a a lot of people here that hope you can get your life on track. You deserve it!
greetings from Finland
I agree nihir.
Thank you for your beautiful comment.❤️❤️❤️
I hope he reads your comment. I completely agree with you. ♥️
Xx
Im sitting here watching this at 40 years old and I can’t imagine walking a day in this man’s shoes . I feel so bad for this man he seems like a really good person that’s suffering a tremendous amount of pain , I see a very interested individual that has this mystic way of being that is so different I pray some kind of miracle forms in his life I think he could write one hell of a book and that may be the one thing that could change his life in so many ways . He’s got amazing talent that was formed by living through tragic situations no one could fathom
breaks my heart.
Learn how to love yourself, Jesus love you, He have up his life just for you, God bless
Jesus Christ love you ,he gave up his life just for you, God bless, l care about people, God learn me how to love myself
Just listening to him talk, you can tell he is caring & just wanted a family. The foundation was never there for him to have a fair start.
I believe you are a great person, read Romans book of Romans
He told his story real good, and I believe him when he says he didnt do the crime he was senteced for.
Stay strong Crash, I cant imagine how hard it must have been so far.
👍👏👏👏❤️
I believe him too. That must hurt so bad. Being blamed for the death of his daughter. You can tell he's a good soul who is lost and would love to have a family.
I completely agree and send positive thoughts to this person!!!
He glosses over that fact he was probably on drugs when the kid died
He's a drug addict and admitted he's on drugs during the interview, so anything he says is suspect...so no, I don't believe him!
The absence of any favourite memory as a kid broke my heart. He never had a chance and I’m sending love and light, Crash. You deserve more than you’ve been dealt and I hope you can heal your soul.
I thought the same. Its almost like he's stuck in constant purgatory and you can tell all he really wants is what he was denied- a family and true connection.
Sounds like extreme childhood trauma his memory repressed to cope.
The guy is on parole he shouldn't be telling on himself that he is drug dealing, that he is getting high, that he has a bunch of ICE on him, that he always caries a weapon. All parole violations. And if you don't want people to know you don't come on a show with 3.34 million subscribers. I hope this guy makes it.
I thought the same but, I was thinking maybe when you have nothing to lose, you subconsciously reach for some type of help even in a negative way? Sad
crash isnt the sharpest tool in the shed...he wonders why people dont want anything to do with him but its obviously because he is a psychopath.
California doesn't really care about drugs anymore...theyve practically decriminalized it..a fat sack of meth would just be a misdemeanor. They write you a ticket .. Would still be a parole violation I'm sure but they really don't care
Life can be hard when you’re this intelligent and have such a high level of self awareness. He was dealt such a bad hand it breaks my heart because he seems life a nice guy thrust into these situations and lifestyle. I just can’t believe how cruel people can be and I really hope he finds happiness and stability
Have a mother that is mentally ill and a father who was a world war 11veteran life as a child was like you were there but not loved because they had their issues to deal with it was lonely had to hide my feelings and not expect much have not had a normal relationship because I felt broken and can't give love but I cannot but it is too late because I don't have anyone I have my kids but it is not the same
Q
"Just a stream of faces washing by in a stream of shit". A perfect description of what i'm going through. Thank you Crash.
I'm sorry, honey.❤️
Crash, God bless you. Your a good man that spoke from heart. Don’t ever give up on yourself, you deserve everything you’ve wished for and it will happen. Your smart and a problem solver.
You can tell this dude does alot of thinking and reflecting. He's very aware and smart I hope he gets his life together
My heart is breaking for this man. I can’t possibly imagine how it must feel to lose a child AND be unjustly blamed for their death. I just want to hug him. And FYI you don’t look like the type of man women regret being with. I hope you get well and get the family you deserve.
“If it came to me saying something it was long over due” “I’ve always been quick to fill my head I’m a small guy” damn I felt that. Also “Some of them have been genuine goddesses in the flesh and I’ve been blessed to worship… but love is elusive” 😫😫😫😫
his way with words is just… breathtaking
He had some serious zingers. Poetic brilliance.
".. it's just they make it real difficult to be a good person. Tired of getting kicked, ya know?"
"Some of them have been genuine goddesses in the flesh.. and I've been blessed to worship."
two comments highlighting the despair + joy of just living. Thanks for sharing, crash + mark. You are appreciated.
The majority of the people that grew up in the system don’t know the potential, the great person they could be because in most cases they were never told or shown how.
Sounds like this man has gone through an insurmountable amount of pain. But in my eyes he is the definition of a badass. His energy definitely does not deserve to be in jail. Rooting for you.
He proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that there truly are some gifted, strong, amazing people with beautiful (and sad) souls stuck on skid row.
Right, if he ever learns to trust & open up, he will excel ❤️
So many people comment “this person is so intelligent, well spoken and gifted” on a video of an absolute drooling retard. This guy actually seems like he could function fairly decent in society.
I feel for this guy 😞😞 what he says about foster care is so true 😞 I was in foster care for two years and was in 5 different placements. Gosh those times were awful. Thank god my family got custardy after that. I still remember the magic and power of actually being part of a family (even though they weren’t perfect). I can’t imagine the childhood this guy had
Even if you have family you sometimes feel alone so I can't imagine the depth of loneliness without a family.😢💔
custody... custard is a dessert 😂
@@Patrick.Weightman We understood.
@@marylougeorge9890 So?
I'm a foster mom I have fostered way over 200 dogs.... and 3 kids came to my door looking for work I said "I have lots of work but I can't pay you" they kept coming back and asked to stay.... cps got involved they were taken away from me.. and I fought for them... since then real mom has passed drug or covid? and they want nothing to do with the dad. Or bio grandparents... they don't feel like foster kids to them I'm Grandma they know they are loved I know I am loved by them.. they tell me on the daily. I never planed on have foster kids I'm now have Gaurdingship they are my family. I hear so many people talk so bad about foster care.
I never ment to be a foster parent. My kids picked me.. and we are a family...
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Having a baby die from sids is hard enough but then being blamed for it, I can't even fathom that. It's not something you get over. I hope you can find a place that can give you peace someday. You deserve that. Thanks for sharing your story with all of us. It takes a lot of courage to do that and I can see that you have so much strength. Don't give up, don't let the bad guys win. Let your kids be the reason you thrive. They will always need you. ❤️🩹
This part truly broke my heart. I’m praying for him 🥺💜
Are we sure his baby died of SIDS, and not neglect? He did do 19 years inside.
@@khalilahd. 🙏❤️
Beautiful comment.❤️🙏
@@What11235 I believe you. Smh.
Man these interviews are so deep and they rly make you think how F'd life rly is and what a shitty world we live in. It also makes you realise how self destructive humans are.
😢
This is why parents are so important to a child's life. Bruh had a difficult life hope the best for him.
Agreed to the maximum
Every single person I've ever met that does crystal always seriously thinks people are trying to kill them.
It's bad shit man..don't EVER f* with it.
I haven't f*d with it in over 25 years...it's bad news man, shit will rewire your brain and make you crazy,even if you do get clean from it... That shit stays with you. I have friends that this has happened to. Fuck. That. Shit!
I don't know anything about it, but will definitely take your word on it
@@kimsmith819 ...good, that's real good. Keep it that way!😁
I have known some of the best people get taken down because of that drug.💜
Well…that guy with the knife sure gave it a try. (I understand what you mean though).
@@wesleyalan9179 I'm sorry, honey. That's heartbreaking.😢💔
Crash, I have the utmost respect for you brother. For what you’ve been through, I am inspired at how eloquent and insightful you are. You’re perseverance and love for your kids is palpable. I know you can’t change your circumstances and it sounds like you live in flight or fight to survive. ..I get it…I’m a pediatrician in a rough neighbourhood and watching this gives me a perspective on how and what the kids I work with actually need…hope and support…I hope I can provide them with some of what you needed back then. Thank you brother for giving me this insight. I’ll think of you in my daily work.
He's cetainly pretty smart. Good vocabulary. Its trust issues that are at the centre of his pain. Cant blame him though.
How can we help this man? I felt his pain and I'm not sure we can do to help ease that pain. I offer you my prayers Crash. You truly deserve a new lease in life that is happy and peaceful.
💜💜💜
🙏❤️
i have newborn twins and this story killed me. Crash, i hope you can find the strength and serenity to continue to take care of yourself and your children. don’t quit. one day you will be rewarded by the universe for not giving up. your strength and courage is an inspiration
Hmm... This one is tricky.
While this is only a 30-minute glimpse into the life of this man, who I don't doubt had a difficult childhood, compounded by drug addiction in adulthood, there does seem to be some denial (maybe even deception?) when it comes to the injury and death of his daughter.
The interview begins with him telling us the death was SIDS.
But near the end of the interview, he's detailing a day of drinking, followed by pushing the twins home in a stroller, then running with them in the rain and tripping over uneven pavement and falling, tumbling and landing on top of them.
As if he's attempting to provide a reason for the injuries that don't support the SIDS claim.
Have a blessed Easter Sunday💞
Same to you..👋
And you 🕊
@@gwennk4962 🕊 🔥🙌
@@deborahdinglemouse7707 🕊 🔥🙌
I’m sorry but if your an actual drug dealer and are trying to stay under the radar, you don’t go on a UA-cam channel with millions of followers an announce it.
I know... that was very strange. He is speeding on meth, but still can't imagine a parolee would bust out and say that.
Crash is someone I'd like to know and/or at least work with. Genuinly good guy at heart I think, and he's able to tell his story well. Also, you're doing important work here Mr. Laita.
Pinch of salt for this one.
Yup, exactly. See you're not one of the gullible ones on here.
Man do I relate with this man... you know it sucks so bad that you can tell this man is super intelligent, intellectual, introspective and just so full of depth... all these things, while he may not feel like much or have trust or high self esteem or feel as though he as anything to offer, that to me is the craziest part bc to me, personally, all I see and hear is VALUE... this man could alter and change so many hearts and minds in a positive way, but bc the life he has lived, relationships that have been ended abruptly, constant change etc, bc of all these things, it's like he's shutting down all of these attributes that he has to offer... almost like intentionally dimming his own shine, his own light... and it's sad... as a fellow introspective, empathetic and a person who observes people, you see so many surface level, narcissistic, shallow, ego driven, selfish assholes winning and having good things constantly happening, while you know good people, with great hearts that are caring and want to help others, and they just get shifted on, taken advantage of, used and devalued... it's a heartbreaking, cruel and unfair world, and that's a certain thing... I pray that in God's will that those who deserve the most will one day get their just due... you can tell this man has a huge heart, and he's suppressing it just to traverse this planet and the sad state of affairs that people are in... just a cut throat society... truly... people get to the top and than just spit down at those below.. the whole game and system is flawed and rigged in the worst way. God willing one day the poor and oppressed will rise up in God's favor :) prayers for this man
I reflect on these stories and think how close I came to being him. "Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die". Try to let it all go if you can - it does get easier as you age if you have the right mindset.
Yessir! I love that take on resentment. So true.
Resentment can motivate a person to seek something better. It is a complex emotion, can be destructive or cathartic.
What an extraordinarily bright individual. It's a shame so much darkness befell him.
Crash... I hope things improve for you. You've got an exceptionally sharp mind, and a lot of hard-earned wisdom. I wish you didn't have to bear such a burden of pain and branding from a difficult past, and present.
I feel like the current version of "society" is broken.
It's been broken for a long time.
Crash, I’m gonna be praying for you sweetie, I’m literally heartbroken by your story, I can feel your pain, hear it and see it. You’re a damn good genuine soul that doesn’t want or ask for much but deserves it. Please be careful with what you do and get into because those drugs especially are tools of the devil to get you caught up or dead. Please call out to God, He’s the only one who truly knows your pain, but you’ve gotta call on Him, He gives us choice. The amount of pain that you’re baring is too painful to see. I hope and pray you find God because He is our true peace. Much love to you hon. God bless you, I myself have had run in’s with both them drugs and it’s pure hell. Please get away from them for your life’s sake. God didn’t allow you to die because you have purpose, you have Kid’s and you have you, please love you and give Him and chance while you’re still alive because once we’re dead it’s too late. God bless you brother.
Amen.✝️🙏❤️
i can clearly see that he is a really good person under all the pain and the circumstances.
How can I help?
Amen.
The deep furrows on this man's forehead tell a long story... I send you loads of good vibes, Crash, may your circumstances sway in the right direction soon. May your load be lightened.
Amen.❤️
you should interview Siamese Twins
It’s insane to me this dude literally turned of adult age and was locked up ever since but you’d never know. He’s very insightful I relate so much to him
Enjoyed listening to him.Thanks Mark.
A sad beginning , but a fighter.
Keep on being strong, for yourself and your kids.
Every day alive is a blessing Sir.
Yesterday's gone.
Not all of us run around with ne'er do wells and heathens , some of us are the ne'er do wells and heathens ! 🤣
❤️
It’s really unfortunate and sad to hear of Crash’s experiences. As a Mom it was triggering to hear of the SIDS story. However, I also feel like there’s some pieces missing to that story. How would she suddenly vomit in her sleep? Were the parents using drugs during this time? I know a parent whose infant died of SIDS and no one I’ve seen or heard of has done nearly 2 decades in prison unless there were obvious signs of abuse or neglect.
@Austin D agreed! He just didn’t seem truthful and sounded like he was seeking a lot of pity. I know our judicial system isn’t the best, but no one gets into that much trouble with the law unless they did something.
In the beginning he said his daughter died from SIDS.. he later says she fell out a stroller.. just pointing this out. I can’t help but to question the rest of his story because of this….
Also, some of the times seemed off. Not trying to pick, because a lot of his story seems true.
Hi All! 💜 Happy Easter 🐣
I wish I could just conversate with him.. I feel him and I wish I could just be there and have conversation with him, I see a really good guy that would be a lot of fun if he ever were to open up with the right person and go enjoy doing something in life with them.. it's deep but really wish I could just sit with him like mark
What an intelligent, well spoken, heart broken man. I sure hope he can find the peace he deserves to give himself in this life.
If THIS is how he can describe his hardships & addiction- so eloquently- while high.. can you imagine how he would be sober?!
My thoughts exactly
😊👍👏👏👏
listen man its NOT THE END if you are reading this i was also born into same bullshit I was smokin crack shootin dope and meth all day when i was selling it was a 7gram habit a day I MADE a change got on methadone and started helping animals and the elderly now I got my own place where i breed dogs and take care of my elderly grandma the thoughts wont ever go away i still cut and still have my down times but its possible and im all the way out here in Boston PLEASE STOP DOBUTING AND LOOKING DOWN on urself because you matter!@!!@!! fuck everyone else I believe in you! Get a dog and just focus on providing for that dog while ur on methadone eventually you will realize someone depends on you!!! i love u brother im also a addict that was delt a shit hand when i was born but it can change much love and good luck -
I hope you find peace & are able to heal
I really heard when you said it's hard being a good person, what's really hard is when we believe someone's beliefs about who we are
Don't be afraid to fall people will catch you if you let them.
Love yourself, so you can be the light for your children.
Love Australia x
Mark, thanks for all you do, and the stories you shine a light on. You are appreciated more than you know, by myself, and I’m sure by a whole lot of others. Please keep sharing these stories, as long as you are able to. Good vibes, and many blessings brother.
👍👏👏👏
Once you ring that bell, you can’t unring it.. I felt that ♥️
I really feel for him. He looks and acts “tough” but this man has a big heart. He is hurt beyond words. He feels so misunderstood, alone, an outcast, he is very introverted so can’t share his thoughts and feelings that well, he has been mistreated his whole life. I feel so sorry for him and I wish him all the best. He really deserves a break.
I understand what he means by ,it's hard to be a good person. Sometimes this cruel world hardens good natured, good hearted ppl. I hope you can heal and embrace the loving person you were made to be .
Generally, people hardest on the outside are protecting the tenderest of hearts.💔
I heard you man, wish you all the luck in this world, that things improve for you ....... ❤️
❤️❤️❤️
Using the term ne'er-do-well is some advanced ass shit.
Mark: "Ya ever been in love before?"
Crash: "Yeah.. every fuckin' time.."
LOL
You been through a lot but its time Crash. Its time to find peace within your self and stand the faack up and live bro. I can’t imagine what you went through but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and man the faack up. Find help, happiness and love and be a good father. ❤️
This guy has some massive trust issues and I hope he gets better. Honestly I'm from Canada and things are different out here. I'm not saying come right on over but remember that the world is bigger then the space your stuck in and your welcome
"I'm not saying come right over" such a Canadian way to say "Stay out" lmao
I was thinking the same thing. 🇨🇦
@@joshperry6700not true Josh. If you read to the end of her paragraph it says " Your welcome." That means you are invited to come as you are. 👋
You are Welcome
This man should stay away from children. Utterly hazardous.
I’m surprised to see this here. This is a good friend of mine I lost contact with. I’d like to reconnect with him, but I don’t know how to get a hold of him.
2:19 "I did something wrong, but I didn't do..." Nobody just rolls over and takes the rap for killing a baby 🤥
Yeah...as much as I hate to say it...I didn't quite believe that part of his story. He kinda skimmed over the moment about what happened to the baby. Idk ...I hope I'm wrong but...something doesn't add up with that story....
He definitely did it
That's what I'm thinking. Crazy how people just readily believe every word out of a lifelong hard drug user and dealer's mouth. Guess they are all smarter than the jury who studied and weighed the evidence.
Crash! You are an absolute Amazing Soul! Extremely intelligent. Articulate your words so very well. Please please see your worth, you SHINE! YOU have so much to offer this world that has repeatedly failed you in every sense of the word! From the depths of my soul, I send light and love with positive affirmations.
Mark your are the best! Everyday I learn more and more about humanity through you. I subscribe because I believe in you. If Crash will accept it, please facilitate some sort of resource to lead him to a place where his gift of life and understanding can help others! Wow he has so much to share!
Follow up with Crash, please!
SSHA (Super Swivel High Alert) No mention of his hundreds of victims or future grandkids. There is no solution. Always interesting, thanks!
I feel for this dude. You’d have to be blind to not see he’s a good dude deep down and would not hurt a child. He’s a dude like a lot of people that slip through the cracks
Truth!
I must be blind. I must be deaf too because the story he told did not sound like one of an innocent man at all.
Everyone is very sympathetic to this man. If she died of “SIDS” that would be proven. He admitted he was not a good guy and his daughter had vomit and blood when she was found deceased. My thoughts are the parents were both High and pissed that this baby was screaming. But those are my thoughts. This man is high as hell on crystal. I love how in Marks interviews they love and want their kids……….but, they do nothing due to their addictions. I wish these people would not procreate. They do it for selfish reasons to get housing and a check til they are taken away. Good Luck Crash Man.
Wow Crash, you've been dealt one rough hand after another. Your motivation to stay here for your children is beautiful.
Crash you got this! Stay here for your children. They deserve to meet you and learn from you. God bless and stay strong.
Looks like an older version of Jax from Sons of Anarchy
Sweetheart, Crash....I audibly gasped when you shared the Christmas event and my throat tightened...The tethered leash of Methadone....My CPTSD started my anxiety humming as you explained things you were feeling/dealing with today. I can tell you, wholeheartedly, this isn't all there is. There is a side of this life you can still live while there's breath in your lungs. Don't give up. EVER. You are being sustained here for a reason and a purpose. It is always darkest before the sweetest morning. Right before I felt in life that I was just existing in survival mode, pain, anxiety constantly on and elevated, I almost destroyed myself completely...I believe if you focus on humility, opening your heart to the idea of a personal relationship with your Maker, you'll be surprised what will come to you! After an insane set of events in my life, it finally broke, so I could be rebuilt...its sounding a lot like you're close to being done with the things that keep you from what you truly are inside. It's been my experience that if you press forward with those steps in place, you'll find that in any situation, you'll see abundance of love and understanding...Discernment and strength. Crash, I think you are so close, man. Don't stop before the good part ♥️ These are tailored trials you're facing and their biggest weapon on you right now is the perception that you are stuck, it's never going to get better...Don't allow the lies of that fear dictate the outcome of your story! Sorry for this novel but I hope you read it and know you are loved!
What you've said is so very true.Know that you are loved🙏
Excellent comment. The world needs more people like you in it.
Beautifully said.😊❤️❤️❤️
@@TJ-wz3tt ❤️❤️❤️
Hey crash I love you! feel better and know we love you over hereeee ❤️
It probably takes more drugs to get you high. I see a lot of Irish in you. You’re also very much able to just not do drugs easier than many others. Prayers to you for a full filled and blessed life with your children.🙏❤️
I like you tattoos bro sick
Keep up the hard work bro I connect with you
There’s good people out there FOR YOU
Only JESUS knows of your pain and suffering, the injustices, unbearable trials... Because he suffered all of them for you and for me, he remembers every tear.... And you will be given peace, healing, and joy, and unimaginable happiness.... Because there is a HEAVEN... AND JESUS IS THERE WAITING FOR YOU.
I particularly liked this guy. So much of what he thinks about people and life resonates with me. These videos sure make you wish you could help the people.
Shitty things happen to decent people. I think about having to go through that with my children and it crushes me. I feel for this dude. I hope there’s a happy ending for you bro
Dude, get suboxone and handle life like a 40 year old does. Get your relationship back with your kids who are most likely teenagers or young adults at this point. You seem like a good person, but you are using your past as a crutch to continue your fall down the rabbit hole. You will have a lot of people rallying around you once you do.
Thanks for sharing your story. As a person in recovery from heroin and meth these videos do more for my recovery than meeting or anything. I hope you can find some peace man, you deserve it.
I definitely agree with that!!
Oh man this story is so sad. I feel for you dude!!! You’ve had a rough life I wish the best for you from now on!! You deserve love and acceptance I hope you find it one day! I can tell you’re a good guy who has had shitty things happen. I really hope you find happiness.❤️
Amen.❤️🙏
Any addict who says “I would’ve remembered that, I would have known.” Is always a red flag. There are so many crushed and shaken babies due to drugs and violence that we see in healthcare. It’s a sad state all around. Folks like this guy need a system that helps not tosses them aside. How can he be a decent parent when he never even had one growing up?
One can if they are not using drugs and alcohol, and takes classes, ask for help. The adult is responsible, not the kid.
@@vacheriedevacherie1959systemic racism and systemic poverty make this highly unlikely
@@thewoman2blame706 you know there are people who actually stop using before having kids, right? You have yo want it more than anything else.
@@vacheriedevacherie1959 As a recovering addict I agree with you. However, being severely addicted to drugs does not really allow for "good parenting" per say but it does not make it impossible. I personally did not have children because of this and some are sicker than others. I believe that some addicted people think that children will cure them, ease their pain and allow them to undo what was done to them because they are very sick and they don't understand the ramifications fully, even someone like himself who clearly is a victim of his environment and the abandonment and lack of parenting he experienced as a child. I knew not to have children because I knew I was not going to be a good mother and I never wanted to put a child through what I went through. Again, some people are sicker than others in their addiction and we're dealing with a lot of mental health issues and people who are lacking love, care and guidance and so in their twisted thought processes, most likely they are thinking that a brand new baby in the world would be an excellent way to receive unconditional love and provide a safe and warm environment ideally that they did not have. Unfortunately, addicts do not normally play the tape all the way through and so they lack the ability to see the picture clearly and the reality clearly and we all know what that is. Unfortunately in most cases they end up destroying another life and they delve further and further into their addictions due to overwhelming guilt, shame, remorse and unbearable pain. This is NOT an excuse, I just speak from experience and know how his feelings and low self-esteem and lack of any discipline or parental love or guidance have dictated every move he is made in his life most likely. A lot of kids like him never do recover at all and if that's the situation there will never be any peace and there will be no understanding and we will be stuck with our thumbs up our asses trying to figure out what to do with all these damaged individuals. This calls for at least a little compassion and probably an ability to see past your judgment. Everybody judges I get it, however, not everybody processes trauma and pain as well as the next guy and it just spirals from there. Once you are an adult you cannot make excuses the rest of your life for your screw UPS but you also cannot kick your own ass until the day you die over past transgressions or the cycle will never be broken and we will then find ourselves looking in the face of another damaged and mixed up individual most probably working on continuing the cycle until it goes on ad infinitum OR try a little understanding and a lot of work on yourself and hopefully break the cycle so that they're offspring does not end up the way he has.
@@incantationsbykaryn having a child to fill a void is a bad idea from the get go, as adults we know this. As adults, we also have the capacity to learn, see, seek help, read, see a therapist, etc. It’s hard enough for people to be decent parents without any drugs or alcohol, if you put those substances on too of it, you are doomed. Kids are not dumb, they see their parents and what they do. I don’t really care about the « I need someone to love me unconditionally » bit, that is just selfish, very selfish.!
Wow, this gentleman was pretty much doomed to fail. I hope the latter part of his life will bring him the peace and love he desires and deserves 🥰❤️
@@BEARHUGOUTDOORS He was convicted, doesn't mean he did it. Did you listen to him? Even a little? I believe him. And even IF he did it, he served his time and paid his debt to society.
@@kimk8890
Thank you. 👍
Beautiful words sweetheart
@@BEARHUGOUTDOORS I respectfully disagree with you. He was in and out of foster care, never really had parents. Didn't have the foundation of family life like many of us did. Did you not hear him say he ran away as a young teen and the state didn't care?!? He also found his uncle dead, hanging at the age of 7! I'm sure what we heard in this interview was a small blip in the trauma and hardships he's had. You can believe what you want, but I wonder how you or I would have ended up if we'd experienced such atrocities?...
@@charlotte_stevens Excellent response!👍👏👏👏
I am not promoting drug use in any way but this dude is like this “high as fuck right now” on crystal and can interact like this, work etc… And I’m over here not able to keep track of my keys and wallet. Meth-Amphetamines we’re used for ADHD way back in the day or some form of, I wonder if he has ADHD along with all the other traumatic experiences. It’s hard to love yourself when you you’ve had every bit of love taken away from you , regardless of the reasons.
Mark......have a blessed 🙌 Easter holiday. I found you by accident. And so grateful that i did. You bring it home honestly. These stories are real. Raw and so thought provoking. The problem is the ones that truly want help....
I want to help them
Every. Single. One.
They deserve love peace and happiness as human beings. God my heart hurts. But please keep them telling their stories.
Godspeed x
Amen.
Man, he should write a novel. Get with a publisher who will help him navigate his experiences on page. He’s got a rich, intense and deeply tragic story to tell.
I second this
Another spectacular interview. Crash, I wish you luck and a prosperous future!
Mark I do hope you will help Crash get south. New start in an new place. He deserves that.
This was a great interview.
"Every time you have to reset to be something different for somebody else." What a harsh reality about today's foster system in most places. Without some meaningful intervention it is hard to think that many of these outcomes could be any different than what they end up being. Luckily there are those out there that are the light that many of those lost within this quagmire of a system need. When I see the comments on many of your interviews, no matter how sad, I'm heartened by realizing through the comments of others how much concern, care, and empathy exists within this world. Prayers and hope for this man that has been through so much.
Dude said he was born in 1980 and he went to prison when he was 21 years old in 1998 , he'd would have been 18 in 1998 . Js
I can’t finish this one. Nothing adds up but here we are in the comments where everybody sympathizes with a child killer.
He said he went to jail in 98 and prison when he was 21
Dude really thought we couldn't tell he was already high for this interview before he told us 😂.
"They make it real difficult to be a good person! "
Yes he is right because people will tell you to be a good person and then they will laugh at you for being nice, they will kick you out. They will tell you to be yourself and then they will tell you to fit the norm. They will tell you they want to help you then they will mock you for having mental issues, trauma, depression, addiction. People change faster than seasons.
I think that means you need better people in your life. It’s Spring, maybe a good cleaning is due? I’ve push those negative people out of my life, and I’m doing lots better for it.
@@vacheriedevacherie1959 i think so. You are right. People are just so mean. Im working on pushing them out of my life as well
The people telling you to be a good person might be entirely different from the people doing the other things. You can't just lump them all together because they're the same species. You're part of the species too, and you presumably don't accuse yourself of all of that. You see yourself as an individual and others as a collective.
@@jumpinjohnnyruss when it’s 2 people or more, isn’t the word « they » appropriate?
@@jumpinjohnnyruss indeed. But ppl who tell me to be good are usually bad people, i know them. My aunts giving me lectures about virginity and good deeds blah blah but they are the ones who do the opposite. This is just an example but what i mean is ppl love to lecture, school and scold. Of course im a human being to it's just i hate being left behind, no one asks about my opinion, whatever
God bless this man🙏🏻❤️
I have a similar story without the foster home. Just dysfunctional family and step dad
Child murder is a tough jacket to have in Prison on the West Coast. He’s lucky he’s even alive still. I guarantee this dude had a rough bid… no tears here, just sayin
I was talking to a detective about a young guy who is always in trouble with the guards(police) and I said to him we would have ended up like him if we had his bad parents or lack of! He agreed..Crash never had a chance at the start of life, hopefully though one day that may all change. Good luck Crash and I'm sorry you've been through so much.⭐️
The way you just let people go without editorializing, you can almost always tell who is telling you their 'story' and who's telling you what actually happened. Like the guest reveals it themselves with their actions or story telling style or the fact that "bad things keep happening to me for 'NO' reason" but you start a story with taking prem infants on a stroll while you're drunk. Good intentions won't negate bad habits.