"Limpia, An Energetic, Spiritual Cleansing & Healing" NMShow #80
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- Опубліковано 21 сер 2024
- Michael Guzzio demonstrates his work as a Shamanic Healer. Here he performs his style of a "Limpia," a form of energetic, spiritual cleansing & healing. Michael works in Albuquerque, NM.
Such a wonderful man and healer, when I got jumped in to the crips he was actually part of the initiation, we worked on letting go of my past after the beating.
This guy is high on money. He's desperately trying to get another hit.
I audibly laughed at this comment 😂 thank you
outatanding comment lmfao
Fucking lol
"F'd in" or Beat in"? It's usually one or the other.
If I were an eccentric billionaire, I’d hire this guy to do this to me every morning while I stand there and eat my breakfast burrito.
You don't need to be a billionare, i bet this dude comes for about 20 bucks.
With my rocks out
@@kukaliemikalie8157 20 bucks for 30 min? Seems good.
You're a billionaire and still eating breakfast burritos???
@@lukeuseforce What? Do you mean billionaires cant eat burritos?
I couldn't help but notice one leg was 1/32 " shorter than the other.
Hahahahaha. Dr Saul!!!
HahahahahAHahah
That's why you leave the shoes ON
I did some healing on the lymphatic system.
@@coolmastamanga1278 and the nervous system, and pretty much every other system in the human body... lol
Producer: You don't look like a shaman to me. You're just wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
Michael: *ties headband*
Producer: Well holy shit.
😆😆😆😆
We have found our shaman, ladies and gentlemen! 🙃
Would’ve been even more hilarious if he just sauntered in with a full headdress, loincloth, and sneakers
When Michael made his holy circle on the studio's 1982 era carpet, she KNEW..."this is the one we have heard was to come !"
When he put the bandana he became Limpia Mike, then he went to Prison and became Prison Mike.
Crips are doing some crazy gang initiation stuff these days.
Underrated comment 😂
I had a thought when I saw the thumbnail but you nailed it
@@mainhoondon21 how is it?
Yeah if you flash your headlights at them.....they will pull you over and do a feather dance ritual.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Long beach crips are with you, park city crips are with you, compton crips are with you, snoop dogg and all the big homies are with you
😂
Unlessss Cha Cha CHEEEEESEEEE
Imagine if he actually did the crip walk with those feathers
@@vincentbergman4451Dude, I just imagined it and now I can't stop laughing 😂😂😂
@@mattlatakas7051 Saint Ice Cube is with you, Saint Snoop is with you, Saint Biggie is with you, Saint Suge Knight is with you
When you forget the presentation is due today and you have to prepare something last minute.
Surf Ninja Movie Vibe
Shit! What will I present to the board?
Got it! EGG CLEANSING. That's da ticket!
I was sceptical at first but when he pulled the feathers out and started waving them around like a semaphore expert having an epileptic attack, i was fully on board. This guy is the real deal. The headband absolutely proves it.
This video typically relaxes me but today I ventured into the comments. Now I'm wide awake and can't unsee things pointed out
It ruined your Asmr experience. Lol😂
he didn’t apologize for his sandwich breath, and not even the Doctor was red in the face. I am appalled.
This comment is amazing!! Lmao
Didn’t even ask for a navy suit for war.
So you’re here too karuna? 😂
i went golfing and i don’t even keep track of the dates anymore because things have changed
Love your videos even patron ones!
Archangel Michael:
We gotta get to Earth, guys, a kid with a ponytail is being rubbed with an egg.
Almost pissed myself
Other lesser angels: Okay yeah, but how's the lid lag? Or is he red in the face?
This comment made me laugh so hard I've fully woken myself up🤣🤣
I had tuned out until I heard about rubbing the body with an egg, then I was back to see dafuq is that?
Dont forget that head band😂
I don't personally believe in the ideas of energy fields, crystals, and angelic beings, but this guy seems so dedicated in his belief that I can't help but appreciate his sincerity. It's also solid ASMR
Solid ASMR? Sure I can see that. Sincerity? Oh please don't make me gag, this guy is about as sincere as a child with crumbs on it's face saying they didn't eat the cookies.
The Ninja Turtles are with you. The Justice League is with you. Chip and Dale, rescue rangers are with you, protecting you.
That's it... I lost it!
You sir, made my day!
Ive usually watched this video for ASMR for a few months and now you've ruined that hahahaha 😂
Bloody brilliant 🤣
you forgot the Gummi Bears
Im getting strong Sith Lord vibes from the female host.
"You've developed greatly since the time we met" 🤣
Palpatines sister maybe
Good, goood, let the healing float through you!
Do it, heal him
"Let the bullshit flow through you"
You can clearly tell he's a shaman because he's wearing a headband.
😂
See it was the feather that did it for me. Really sealed the deal.
As well as the traditional ritual baggy jeans pulled from the dirty clothes hamper.
Rubbing an egg on someone should be evidence enough!
Be honest though, he takes it off and he's just Larry.
You can tell Leonardo is his favorite ninja turtle.
SUPER COMMENT 🤣🤣🤝
Unintentional ASMR of this genre has to walk a fine line between relaxing mumbo jumbo and absolutely hilarious and for me when this guy started wildly waving feathers around this poor man it crossed that line and I couldn’t stop laughing.
The feathers were fine. It was rubbing the guy down with an egg that got me 😂
Missed out, man! Shoulda seen when Dancing Buffalo and Flopping Trout came it with Roman candles.
It was the spitting flowers that did it for me. The most violent florist I've ever seen!
You are right. In the Moment he picks up the second feather, i burst out laughing.
@@miketheperformer5972 this whole thread got me. Its hilarious
“The eternal sandwich breath is blowing upon you, breathe it in, and I apologize for it.”
Ha! Best comment
😂😆
Hahhahahha
Samweeeej
😂
‘I’m gonna use the egg’.
It was at this exact moment long haired nephew knew he’d fucked up by agreeing to come on Aunty Batshit’s internet show.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I don't believe in any of this but I could watch this shit all day. Very relaxing.
This dude just brought some random stuff from his house and put this all together on the fly.
It's actually all materials commonly used in traditional limpia spiritual cleansing, which originates in South America.
@@NachtSchreck13 Have a day off will ya 🙄🤔
@@NachtSchreck13 sort of, not really, kind of but ok.
I'd pay good money for this relaxation and positive vibes.
It's impossible to dislike this dude. He seems like such a good guy.
@@revan552 not all of these people know that they're scam artists, a scary amount of these healers actually believe they are healing somebody.
@@owenbush2991 yeah exactly. I get the impression this dude thinks he's doing stuff.
@@owenbush2991 which is even worse than purposefully scamming someone
Me too but only if I’m on peyote.
@@captainsponge7825 ehhhh debatable
8:53 that lady has sight beyond sight. Even with her eyes closed and a disturbing smile on her face, she can still see clear as day.
Brain: Got a day chocked full of interviews and errands starting at 830 am in 6 hrs.
Brain: Or or or or(and hear me out) you can be restless and start watching a white guy dressed like a crip do mesoamerican shamanic rituals with a tad bit of Christianity thrown in.
PERFECT.
I feel ya on this one.
LOL!
This might be my favorite comment I’ve ever seen on UA-cam
BRUH, I'm rollin'
He literally offered him an egg in these trying times.
His constituents need to poison his ass!!
Touch of consumption
"The Gang Becomes Spiritual Healers"
Boiled denim
😁😁😁😁😁
under current restrictions there are two many
people including angels in that room
nice 😂....noooiiis
Woman in the chair be like"Good good, now kill him, only then will your training be complete"
"Do it!"
"Unlimited limpia!"
Dew it !!!
'Kill him. Kill him now'
Ironic
For some reason, whenever I feel stressed, I always want to watch this video. Can't help it.
Yeah he's such a positive guy and it's very relaxing despite being a pile dog shit theologically.
This is all hippie mumbo jumbo, but it is relaxing, especially when playing a game, or when reading a book.
Man, I miss those Public cable access shows. Awesome.
It's still on in AZ lol
This guy is great vibes, the ASMR you would get from this in person would heal a lot of negative emotions.
I like this guy, he seems genuine and sincere with what he does unlike that one quack who is writing shit down and usually does his healings through the phone
He was in to chiro, as he said it himself. What do you expect. They use the same shit for everything. Leg measuring and cracking a few joints. "one leg is shorter by 32nd of an inch, imma wave my hands and massage your back for a little, that will help you"
@@rageagaintstheNWO Well the shorter leg thing can also be "solved" by a trick faith healers sometimes use where they loosen one shoe heel and then say "oh look its longer" and push the shoe back on so it looks fixed! It's a stupid trick but seems to work!
@@nick_steele9790 Because people are stupid.
…sounds like SOMEone didn’t have a wonderful response.
Saul is obviously a big quack and a conman but this guy aint no better with this "spiritual" bullshit
I watch this and cant help but think this is a calm hippie version of Michael from GTAV.
Gigantic Coma "KIFFLOM!!" 😁
Gigantic Coma F**king A right!
Yessss
The game that broke the world record for the amount of times someone said FUCK!
13:00
Oh, God bless unintentional ASMR!
Roberto Navarro I think most Shayman ceremonies exploit the asmr as though it’s a sort of power or magic.
Just UA-cam search limpias.
The ASMR is very much intentional. It gives weight to the “magic.”
And so be it, placebo is very powerful.
It's intentional, rest assured.
Glad I'm not the only one here for the asmr effects.
It's how I used to put my kids to sleep every night, two little active boys, I would just use the ASMR technique, gently rub their eyebrows, eyelids and the top of their forehead and woala. They are asleep in two minutes. Without it, it took forever, perhaps an hour or longer.
@@meriena I find a good judo chop works best.
The ghost in the green dress is so sympathetic ... ❤️😂
This guy would have made millions in the medieval times
Not really, the holy church would’ve cracked down on his pagan rituals.
@@teddyspaghetti9566 🤣🤣
@@teddyspaghetti9566 Probably but the joke was that he's good enough for people to believe regardless of if he's good enough to actually do anything. I'm sure for mental health it helps as a placebo but in the medieval times people like this made a fortune.
i would have offered him a bag of wheat and my finest goat for a session.
Why do you think people in the Middle Ages were more stupid than we are today?
That theme music in the beginning was enough to cleanse my soul. So retro heavenly!
Reminds me a of simple time before the covid 19 days....
These are the comments ive been looking for.
Pre 2319 days vs post2319
Back when you could spit flowers at a man and not get judged
when was this recorded, what year?
Yeah, I hear ya. I think this was back in the days of Covid 13.
Haha. 😔
I can't believe comments aren't disabled, but I'm glad you're all here.
Pretty standard healing practice before being issued your navy suit for wahr.
Ute Uncle Barry ❤️ indeed!
Only real ones know😂😂😂
Tell me what this means plz?
@@tylerblomker3633 Journey on a quest my son. Start with Dr. James Kelly and you will find the answers you are looking for.
@@melgeezy3325 lol alright
Humans are sure as hell some interesting primates.
@@kurosakitagami2788 primates have some of the smallest penises in the animal kingdom...just throwing that out there.
@@MrBlack-vg8rv I think thats what he meant.
LMFAO
You guys make terrible comments
@@mrpinkbearevemunson6990 then why read them
- So how was your time with your aunt?
- I got to stand in the middle of the room, surrounded by colourful stones, and Prison Mike touched me with an egg and feathers
💀
I can't help but wonder how poor Kelly got roped into this bullshit. Only thing I can come up with is that his weird aunt promised she'd hook him up with some righteous weed.
You think prison is a joke? This shit saved me while I was in the clink!
The Dementors are with you, surrounding you, you are completely safe.
This guy is actually a kind and wholesome human being.
10:48 Me when the smoke alarm goes off when I'm cooking.
I absolutely lost it at this part.
🤣🤣🤣
5:16 "i'm just gonna scoot these CHAIRS back"
lady was like nope im gonna sit right here for 20 minutes staring at you
Ich möchte einfach wieder bei dir sein 😢
I keep coming back here. One of the best unintentional videos there is!
I watch ALOT of UA-cam and asmr, and read ALOT of comment sections, and this is by far the funniest and there isnt a close second.
While this video and comments are great, I think there’s a solid contender - Unintentional ASMR Perfect Sandwich. The comments are phenomenal, and they even spill over into the Unintentional ASMR Italian Christmas video, lol.
The scariest thing in this video is the facial expression of home girl in the back ground.
Yes it was awkward to watch her
Shes so turned on..
Yup check out her movement at 12:39😂
@@hughmungus1072 Okay I really did not need to see that.. That image will haunt me.. Good job,. :D
@@crankypest2617 hey why should I be the only one having nightmares... Welcome to the club! 😝
What is it about shamanic healing that is just asmr even to just watch.
That's the trick about these healings, its all ASMR
joeyzzzz Bingo. The relaxing effect of Asmr on the nerves and nervous system combined with the placebo effect makes for powerful healing.
@@diegojaraarredondo2791 Sucks to your asmr
Shamonic healings are suppose to be calm and relaxing thats why it triggers the asmr
@@RoachKai ok piggy ;) I got that reference lol
I lost it when he started hopping around with the feathers 🪶 😆
“You being you is enough… so just keep it up!” Such profound words… 😂
Tautologies sound deep until you think about their meaning.
This is one of the craziness alternative healings I've seen, yet I find it one of the most relaxing.
4:22 "there's no belief system anyone has to believe"
*continues to mention angels and divine beings*
He never said u have to believe.
I'll believe in angels if they'll protect us from that creepy woman that hosts the show.
@@RooseveltsAllLivesMatter They can't stop her now. She knows too much of the old magics
But they're *nondenominational* angels from abrahamic religions....
see? FOR EVERYONE
who is christian or muslim or jewish
so ya know - all the right people. No fake religions here! No siree!
@@RooseveltsAllLivesMatter
I know I hate it when women don't look sexually appealing its disconcerting. Womens value is entirely based on wether I want to fuck them or not.
"In his retirement, Solid Snake decided to practice shamanism, rubbing hippies with feathers and raw eggs."
I have met the arch angels myself and I can confirm that what this guy is sayin is true! The arch angels help me every day. I will live forever on this earth thanks to them. I am 98 years old and still look like I am in my 30:s thanks to the angels. I cannot die.
😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻😂🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌🤣🤣🤣😂😂👍🏻👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
If I had wheels, I would have been a bicycle
Pressing X so hard right now.
So are you 101 now? Do you still look like you're in your 30s or is it the 40s already?
I love this video too much. Been watching for years.
I like the way he explained that we are not just our parents children.. we are a divine being.
Really made me think how much is connected to what happened in our childhood. How we hold onto things that we believe molded us..
You're on to something.
Well, we ARE the sum total of our experiences, and the people we knew do influence us at least slightly. We may or may not be divine, but all life has value.
@@mywifesboyfriend5558 - We are also, I think, the inheritors of 200,000 years of human tribulation & celebration, somehow. Carriers of an earthly misty mysticism.
@@mywifesboyfriend5558 - a very nice pseudonym, by the way. Far more creative than mine.
@@gives_bad_advice Thanks! It really pisses off people who don't get the joke.
Who came here from the note taking purple granny healing guy video?
Guilty
Haha I did!!!!
Me Hahahaha
Ted Cruz. The College Years
Mike G nice!😂
Is it Ashton Kutcher? Nope its Kevin Malone, equally handsome equally smart.
It's Bill Murray.
Lmao
He does look like Ted Cruz... hahahahahaha
Ok but on a real note I’ve slowly gotten to know (just from Facebook friendship and few convos) Michael, and he’s literally so cool. Like if I lived anywhere near him, I’d liveeeee to have one of these done ahaha. He does tons of ceremonies and sweat retreats, and is super down to earth. Of course this video makes it look like he’s some random white guy who has no idea what’s happening but no, he’s legit
Perhaps he might be down to earth but his theology is very new age spiritualism and mysticism, I personally would not take anything he says seriously if it came to spiritual matters
@@5warpotentials258 doesn’t matter; I think all this stuff is just live asmr which who wouldn’t pay for that???
What's his race got to do with anything? Also he may be "so cool" but at the end of the day he is nothing but a con artist
how much is he paying you
@@mckx6517 you dont get it smile ill almost certainly never know whoever this is. no its just asmr.
Yes, Archangel Michael took time out of his eternally busy schedule commanding God's armies in battle against the never-ending legions of demons to come down to New Mexico and oversee some quack rubbing an egg on a fool while another fool watches it in awe.
You forgot the other angels who are also there.
"Gabriel: Why are we here again?"
"Michael: Shut up and send him energy!"
"Azrael: Oh i give him energy, i show that egg so far up his ass, he's gonna vomit chicken"
Meanwhile Lucifer laughs his ass off somewhere.
"Powerful presence of Michael here"
"Michael: oh fuck off!"
🤣 for real tho
@@rageagaintstheNWO
Underrated comment
I enjoyed my response.
All head band wearers need to be taken really seriously. Especially if colour co ordinated.
8:52 she is just like "Yas, yasssss"
My name is Rick. I play banjo. It sounds like this. Ting ting tingaling ting ting ting! Ting ting tingaling tingalingaling!
How this lady kept a straight face through this act is nothing short of a miracle
I also met Michael, he lives in a van down by the river.
I love the fact that the dude receiving the “healing” is inevitably going to have a conversation with a friend about this day in work where he actually has to try and explain this entire scenario only for once he’s done to then have to spend the next few hours convincing them he ain’t cappin.
Lady looks like the cryptkeeper.
I'm 😂😂 sorry, but your comment cracked me up!
Very naughty, but I laughed 😅 🤣 and laughed 😅 yes, she appears strange
I came back just to listen to that lovely music at the beginning. Classic.
This video is fantastic asmr. So relaxing. Why the hell didn’t this guy make more of these videos? In the asmr community a channel full of these types of videos would blow up huge!
It's too powerful for your average ASMR viewer to survive. UA-cam changed the algorithm to save those poor souls so it wouldn't let him upload again. I'm sorry, my friend.
@@Ididntaskforahandleyoutube he has a youtube channel actually , with only one video tho
This shit is real... he's got a blue headband on.... it'z legit.
B M oh fuck you’re right
It's like a cartoon where somebody puts a lampshade on their head and goes unnoticed.
Whenever Im having a bad day I come to the comment section of this video, you all are hilarious!!!
Literally what I’m doing now
Shout out to Kelly Van Dilla! Keepin it real for the angels…
I'd love to have a session with this person. He has really good vibes.
looks him up, he's on instagram and other social media, i think his sessions are something like $100+ for a full session
Expensive vibes
He needs to work out
@@wobblesman4316 Magic eggs ain't cheap
10:31 this will be the dance I perform for my lover on our wedding day
He'll love it.
Despite his wackiness, it looks like this guy actually studied how shamans especially from Latin America do it. If you watch latin american shamans doing limpias (spanish for cleanse or cleansing) they do similar stuff like the egg cleanse. Instead of a feather they may use herbs, and some recite prayers like this guy. Instead of spitting flowers some may spray alcohol with a lighter to create a fireball effect.
I dont question that he didn't research im pretty sure he did but stuff like this puts me off.but i dont blame people for searching for something better hope is a good thing and i hope the people who do this are happy
Watch your 🦆ing mouth Austin.
Rolling an egg on your skin... Salmonella joins chat. 🤣
What’s amazing with these spiritual videos is that basically everything you ever imagined and everything from every religion is actually real and exists.
She was just watching him like "Oh yea Daddy Spread That Sage All Over Him"
This comment I laughed out loud for
8:54 I'll have what she's having
@@rhondaorberson9664 hahaha
Asmr cheek clapping.
Started watching this to see if it was better than the clip board guy video, its worse. Thought I could relax and nod off. But started reading the comments and now I can’t stop laughing.
This is the one people keep coming back for
Man, this guy has been knocking me out
He has a hell of a right hook.
that woman siting is so still like a statue . also it was relaxing for the most part but I lost it at the feather part lol was funny
The feather ceremony works quite well in a business meeting. Try it in an important job interview. Although it surprises people they will respect you for the spiritual cleansing.
@@allybally0021 They'll call the authorities to have the feather waver removed.
What no one realized is Asmodeus, Orcus, Belial and Yog-sothoth were also in the room
This guy used to work on the airport runway directed aircraft
Did he heal the lymphatic systems?
Automatically
Yes and also he balanced the spiritual centers ✋️😐🤚
Arcangel Dominick Stompanato from Middle Village Queens is also here.
Legit lol
So much love to share
He completely destroyed the sacred circle with his clumsy footwork. The archangels are FUMING!
🤣 😆
No complaints here. Very relaxing to watch.
One full minute between 16:28 - 17:28 are no spoken words. Just golden ASMR.
Felix Truvere 10:35 - 11:50 is great asmr with no talking too
StrayGamer oh yes thats absolutely the best part.
I can’t believe I made this comment 3 years ago. I’m still watching this video today.
@@FelixTruvere same dude
Why didn’t they do more of these??? this was so relaxing to watch!
Just save it and make it repeat
Arch angel zabkiel and uriel couldn’t make it again
Just crack an egg.
I've seen a channel of an older lady from Ecuador who does this kind of thing. I assume she's at least slightly more authentic, but it's still got lots of waving flowers at people and chanting and whatnot.
I agree with you. But it also gives me more ASMR because it makes him seem like a real authentic gypsy soul that doesn't care about content on UA-cam lol. He seems authentic.
Bonkers…..watchable bonkers, relaxing bonkers but still totally bonkers!!
I’m calling it now the lady in the back is a sith lord.
"Dew it!.."
What's that
A sith lord.....like the ones controlling Cuba in 1898, until the Rough Riders showed up and gave them what for.
@@RooseveltsAllLivesMatter preach Teddy
Luke im your vegan aunt (they/them).
This guy was predicted by prophet saul shaye (may plenty of water and wonderful response be upon him)
I did some healing with your headband. I did some healing with my egg. I did some healing with the old crone in the chair. Have a wonderful response
You can really tell that he is a divine healer by his divine healer head band or divine healer tight shirt or divine healer shiny rocks
host of the show just riding an immaculate vibe there in the back
The host is the spitting image of the old hen looking for a husband in the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons.
Hahahahaha!! It’s funny cause it’s true, spot on!
Mike DeVivo Prissy.
BRO 😂😂😂
I have truly lived today.
Omg yes!
7:15 - Lights a firecracker, drops it and runs away.
Legend has it this dude laid hands on his neighbor's Trans Am and the oil leak completely disappeared.
I’ve been trying to find this video for months almost a year !!! I finally found it again . great unintentional asmr video