CPTSD and The Curse of Loneliness: How to Heal
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- Опубліковано 12 тра 2024
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There’s a symptom of trauma that is common in everyone, but it’s almost universal for people who were abused or neglected as children. It's a haunting sense of loneliness, and not fitting in, that can make any effort to connect with people extra stressful. This is not just an emotional hurt. Abuse and neglect caused an injury to your ability to connect with other people. If this happened to you, you were robbed of what every person rightfully deserves - to be well treasured and lovingly guided into the realm of human connection that’s all around you.
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I was hoping to be first...for no reason other than I feel genuinely excited when I see a video from you. 😊 Your are helping me so much and today my sister said she can see the positive changes in me! Thank you Anna...I'm getting a membership before the end of 2024 🤞
Yay! Thank you!
I don't have friends. I'm afraid to trust anyone, even family. My family were the one's who destroyed trust. I don't think I even like people most of the time.
I feel those exact words totally!
I am the same way. My mom hated that i had friends ( her mom didnt allow her to go out even when she was in her 20s and 30s) when i was in hs i strated to set friendships and we ended up moving states in the beginning of my junior year and that completely messed up a lot including my education.
I hear you. I feel exactly the same way. However, I have seen miracles, and I remain ever hopeful, as I learn to cope. I pray. I have seen the results of prayer over and over in very real and undeniable ways. You can't change them, but you CAN change you.
Lori you are not alone
@@brandonjohnson7729 Thank you. Most days I do feel alone and don't belong anywhere. But, I do have hope and keep moving forward.
I have no friends, no family.. not interested in dating any more.. trying to enjoy my solitude and to be grateful for a quiet simple life with my dog
me atm
Pets are better than people. I have tried to get involved in crafts, but I live in an area called Ali-baba and the 40 thousand thieves. Everything gets stolen. People without integrity are just dirt under your feet.
I’d like to be your friend
Me too
Amen!
Neurologists can identify adult early childhood trauma victims by their CT scans. Underdeveloped amygdala, cingulate gyrus, hippocampus (the emotional cortex) are visible in ALL victims of childhood trauma. Caused by young children's damaging exposure to trauma and the brain's long release of cortisol. The cortisol inhibits normal brain growth including connections from the emotional cortex to the frontal lobes. Improper levels of serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine & other neurotransmitters is common in child abuse victims. These are permanent conditions. I use cannabis indica, 5-HTP, Alpha Stim (when bad), music, dogs, nature to manage my PTSD from early childhood trauma. It was not my fault. Not the fault of any child.
I have been using indica for my anxiety, but it started to relax me so much that I was having flashbacks of the abuse I suffered. Did this happen with you?
@@pattycook3732 if you smoke too much it can have the opposite effect. Thc raises heart rate and can induce pyschosis in some. Do little puffs to relax the body
Does anyone have a mother who always tells them “ you’re strong and resourceful you always figure things out” so that she didn’t have to be a mother… ? I was always alone figuring out life’s problems since an early age she never helped me with anything. I’m not strong or resourceful I’m in survival mode. It’s such a mindf***
I believe my cptsd affected my learning ability as a child I knew deep down I was smart but could never figure out why I felt so fearful and 'dumb'.
It has taken over my life. I spend most of my time at home alone. I'm lonely and long to have a connection and be loved. I have very few friends.
Same. 100%
Isolation is really hard, and it’s often a CPTSD symptom. If you’re interested, Anna has a course that focuses on healing isolation called ‘Connection Bootcamp’. Here’s a link if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_Connection
Nika@TeamFairy
Iunderstandwhereyou’recomingfrom. I just watched CCF (this channel) & PsychToGo lately because their videos have helped me understand that I have endured Betrayal Trauma from too many people (and I have self-sabotaged myself when I was younger , it was due to a lot of betrayal trauma).
@@CrappyChildhoodFairyhi. Um… is there a video where you’ve explored more on “Betrayal Trauma?” Especially from Friends and family? 😮😢😅😅
I have found that I shouldn't tell people about the abuse. One person said "it's a good thing you never had kids" as if I would abuse my children, which really hurt. I think people that use abuse as an excuse to abuse are lying because I would NEVER treat ANYONE the way I was treated and never have. That was before I knew about CPTSD and Anna. You have helped me so much. I've learned nearly every aspect of my personality is a symptom so I can see it now. At 67 I'm about as happy as I've ever been and am optimistic, but see how the CPTSD effected every part of my life.
People who have never walked a mile in those shoes can get really weird when they find out about abuse. I try to save news like that for other survivors, someone who understands it.
That person’s comment about you being childless is a secondary trauma. I’m glad you’re moving forward on a path that is comfortable to you.
@@MamaJLW Thank you. It was traumatizing all over again. Made me sorry I told her and made me wonder why I thought I should've told her. It was a mistake. I agree with what @annekim2634 replied too. I know I would have been a great Mom. I'm still a work in progress. Anna and this community is a God-send.
At the current age of 60, I've also found my safe place in life, and an amazing man that put all the others in my past to shame. The true peace that I've finally found, with outdoor projects, woodworking, and gardening, have filled any void that may have existed previously. There is very little desire for socializing now, since so many in my past, especially family, have proven to be toxic, and a waste of my love and energy.
I've never been so content, as I am now, and I wish for all of you on this forum to find this same peace.
The down right ignorance of the person that said that to you, about children, is shameful and traumatizing. What a hateful thing to say. Let it slide off your back, and chalk it up to stupidity on their part.
My 93 year old mother still tells me that "everyone thinks you're weird " and nobody likes me. I'm 64 ! She says this from her wheelchair in the nursing home that she lives in because she's now incontinent and has dementia. I know that I need to be in a strong place when I choose to drive 30 minutes to go visit her. Or I can let her other 3 daughters visit her. Her husband of 70 years only goes to see her once a month.
I'm sorry you continue to experience this as I can relate to how much damage words can do to our spirits....
So hurtful. Take care of yourself❤
She’s probably parroting something her parents told HER, because she’s angry at them and taking it out on you. People DO project their own inadequacies into other.
So hard for you.
Thanks, Grandma. Love you too.
For me, trauma--among other factors--makes it all the more harder to form the relationships that are cited as sources of healing.
Yep.
The lure of dysfunctional connections when we were abused and traumatized in ways that disabled us (CPTSD) from elementary school on is the BIG CLUE we have work to do. This is finally becoming “a thing”. Thank you for sharing your experiences and expertise. 🙏🦋
Thank you for watching!
Nika@TeamFairy
Music has been my life companion. At 50 years old so many times I've depended on music to lift my spirits and remind me I'm actually not alone.
Music is a beautiful thing but connecting with people can be also meaningful and it can help you heal faster. If you're interested, Anna has a whole course that provides a structured way to start working on friendships and social life: 'Connection Bootcamp': bit.ly/CCF_Connection
Nika@TeamFairy
Music was what helped me get through childhood and adolescence. Typical situation: dad not around, 2 jobs, no interaction or affection, mom emotionally abusive/critical/ no emotional bond, and the bullies taunting, hitting, etc. Was called the "black sheep" of the family and told by my mother I was "born backwards and been backwards ever since" because I was a breech birth. School was a survival test for me.. But I found music and books, and they held the power to give me a different perspective on my life. The bullies called me all the usual names meant to crush my spirit as a little gay kid in the '50s and '60s (no internet support then) but Darlene Love told me I was cool because "He's a Rebel" and many other records gave me positive messages. Plus the records and books provided escape. So I get what you are saying. It took me until after I retired to discover Anna's videos and I must say they have changed my life. I no longer get triggered so easily and I've now connected the dots. she really is sort of a magical fairy so Anna, from one "fairy" to another, THANK YOU! I'm a power fairy now, lol! P.S Guess which of the 4 sons has accomplished the most in life? the black sheep....
I’ve been trying to find a small community of ‘safe’ people since I have very few people in my life, and none who would be willing or capable of helping me in an emergency. I was planning on having a breast reconstruction (had cancer 2 yrs ago) but I would be in hospital for a week with nobody to watch my pets for me or pick me up to get me home, so because of that, I may not get the procedure done. It’s hard to be totally on your own when things happen. If I died tomorrow, nobody would know for weeks probably.
So sorry to hear this.
That’s so sad and you’re not alone. I’m avoiding back surgery for the same reasons. The only relationship that I feel safe in is the one I have with my Creator.
Not to sound like a Bible thumper, really. It’s something that organically happened in my solitude and I’m starting to feel that it’s the only relationship that I need. I literally feel God’s presence and I trust that even if it takes a month to find my body, I’ll be long gone in a better place.
Sending you love, peace and hope for a better day ✨💖✨
I'm saddened by your pain. Yet gladdened in knowing you have found your safe community amongst these great, broken but healing people. Welcome home! ❤😊🎉 🙏 ❤
I’m so sorry, this is a very painful way to live. I hope that you and all of us will find the connection we want. This community seems safe. I welcome you, and care.
Thank you for your kindness!
Thank you for helping me, at age 66, to understand myself. I am a loner and my nervous system is on high alert all the time. I will look into dysregulation. Thank you for all you do!
Blessings to you!❤
I have had friends who have all turned out to be narcissistic, selfish, unfeeling, with no compassion. If I could only write a book! There is no one who can be trusted. I am treated as though I am not human and worthy only of geing disgarded. Now I don't try anymore.
When I began kindergarten I was too shy to ask to go to the toilet, so I would just leave and then be too scared to go back. The school thought the best way to deal with this was to slap me every day with a ruler. The other kids decided to stay away from me because I may get them into trouble (even though I never involved anyone else). School was a lonely place for me.
Fast forward to COVID and I was again ostracized for having a condition that did not allow me to be vaccinated. The same things that happened when I began school happened again at this time. I was ostracized (again). Punished (again).
The gaslighting by the medical profession borders on neglect for me.
I have now learned to be non-attached. It is hard to trust when friends you thought would be there for you, weren't. Harsh things were said by those I cared about.
It isn't all bad though. Being less attached has enabled people to have the freedom to come and go as they please without me trying to hold onto them. No longer do I hold anger or sadness if someone decides to leave. I am discovering who the real me is. There are spaces kept for future friends I hope will be of more value for me. I have one friend I have worked through some issues with and am glad she is still my friend. But I do not hold as tightly to friendship now. It does give me an opportunity to not hold resentment to those who choose to leave. Also I do not go into friendships as easily, making me more discerning.
@dayam wow that kindergarten story struck a chord with me. I’m so sorry. People are idiots. I was extremely shy too and I find that shyness in my adult years come back to haunt me with people saying that I’m arrogant or haughty. Or anti social. I would have loved a friend like you. I was friends with all the “weirdos”. The ones who didn’t neatly fit into a box. Thank you for sharing🙏🏽
I'm never lonely.
Growing up in a raging, abusive, neglectful, alcoholic family taught me that the only time I was safe was when I was alone.
Period.
I'm never alone anyway.
I'm the full-time caregiver of my 86-year-old mom and I have a chronically ill child.
I've never had that moment where a mom sends their kid off to school and the house is quiet.
I'm always on.
My dream vacation is being alone somewhere, where I don't belong to anyone, but me.
I've never put myself first.
Ever.
So, I crave me time. Alone.
Sending you lots of love and good energy 🤍
I love alone-time, the peacefulness of it.
And finally (I'm not exactly young anymore) I've finally learned to build some safe and warm connections with a few people.
No therapist could address this from childhood until recent trauma research. THIS is the symptom that broke me time and again.
I’m 63 and in the past few weeks that this is what I’m suffering from. Literally everything I hear is ME even the co dependency. I was so emotional when I realised and I hope I change things with your help. I have such a long story which started from my dad leaving when I was 7 years old and never saw again until I found him when I grew up. I was neglected all my childhood, bullied severely in all my schools and have been in 3 long term relationships, 2 were marriages with narcissists. What is strange is even though I’ve had several sets of therapy no one has ever told me about this. A 2 yr relationship with an alcoholic who was still in love with his ex wife and blew hot & cold all the time that led to break down of depression and made my anxiety out of control. I haven’t recovered from that even though it’s been over 3 years since we split.
Welcome to this channel, and the beginning of your healing ❤️🩹
It sounds like torture. Let's hope that this is the beginning of a journey of recovery (that we're all on, to a greater or lesser degree). 🙏
Wow 💔
I feel with you, it hurts so much, I'm so sorry.
I'm ten years younger didn't mary them but my main romantic relationshipps where with narcs.
The terrible thing is that as long as I see my self through their eyes and I don't do it with conscience.
But poeple feel it... I changed the way I see my self by waching houers a day videos from the Crappy Childhood Fairy 🧚 and other UA-camrs. I imerged my self intoo good thoughts and by seeing me through Anna and my others Beloved UA-camrs, again and again, a 100 of times over and over again made me see me and feel ok with what I see, I ❤️🙏 my self in a healthy way, I see it because I feel better with others too.
For this saison of my life I have to be without neer poeple and enjoy my compagnie like never befor and it's such a releaf not to need someone right now.
And I have YOU 💕
Even if I don't know you in person, I know the pain and wish you to find releaf.
Did you try the daily practice ?
For me it's a life changer and saver...
Try.... You'll feel it
There's a link below all of Annas 🧚 videos and for free..
Take care, big big hug fighting Sister
Ohhh 😍 love the commentarys
So sweet
Love you homies 💖🙌
Fighting Sisters and Brothers
ANNA, YOU ARE MY MR. ROGERS. I LISTEN YO YOU ALMOST EVERY NIGHT. ❤
I’m is sicka YOU!!🤣 I’m just trying to watch a mindless video to go to sleep with and here you are nearly prophesying into my life once again!🤦🏾♀️🤣 This is my weird way of saying thank you!!💕😁
1. Great video quality! The light and the frame. It's really really good!
2. My parents were alcoholics. We weren't wealthy, the house was/is a mess. Also bullying. Extreme violence.
3. Since my last relationship in which I was regulated, but attracted the wrong person again, I made so much progress about connection, attachment theory, inner child work and shadow work. I'm right now in moment of change. Soon a new job in a new city. I'm looking forward to dating for the first time.
I feel hopeful.
People need to get over the fear of being alone. That fear was what kept the toxic fake friend I had at the time, in my life.
It’s what prevented me from cutting ties with my abusive mother for so long. Both of those people, ex mother and ex friend, were both narcissists and abusive. They both made my life a living hell, and they both stole my childhood and twenties. And all because I was afraid to be alone.
I got my life back at twenty nine, and it’s been nine years since I’ve seen or spoken to either and life got better. I have a real family and friend now, I’m getting treatment for my ptsd and anxiety. I’m on medication for my adhd, and I’m healthy physically and mentally.
Be alone, it’s okay because if you are a good person it doesn’t matter that bad people were there once, you will find new people. Loneliness, and the fear of it, is exactly why toxic people get to stick around and ruin your life.
Oh Ana, this brought me to tears. I find comfort that I’m not the only one suffering in this way. I guess it’s nice to know that I belong here if no where else. Your videos and podcast inspire me to keep trying everyday even though it feels hopeless most of the time. Sending love to you and anyone reading this.
You're describing me to a T in the video. I have a really hard time controlling my emotions and that makes me really hard to be around. I've also been hurt so many times that I don't want to trust and take any risks anymore. I'm extremely lonely, but I feel the way you mentioned, that it's just easier this way. I'm so tired of being hurt and rejected.
I too have tried therapy many times and I think the biggest problem that I have is that I can't cope with the day-to-day no matter how small they are, so I have difficulty trying to deal with the core issues when I'm often a mess about the tiniest things.
I struggle with anxiety and depression and often my energy level and motivation are really low. Because of that, it feels it takes every ounce of strength I have to push forward and do a small task. When something small goes wrong, I just feel unable to cope because I feel like I've got nothing left after pushing myself just to do those small tasks.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with us. I encourage you to try The Daily Practice (a free course) which can be a good first step. If you want to go deeper, Anna has a whole course on Healing Childhood PTSD.
Free Daily Practice: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Healing CPTSD course: bit.ly/CCF_HCPTSD
Nika@TeamFairy
Timing on this couldn't be more perfect.
I'm so glad :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Mother's Day is a huge trigger! Time for your videos...again. Thank you for all you do.
This was so on point and so well done. Thank you for helping me to better understand my CPSTD.
If I can just master the art of judging ppl when you meet them can save you from a world of stress dealing with negative ppl
I was literally JUST in the grocery store and run into a man that reminded me of my abuser when I was little. He's deceased, but I physically had to pause and take a moment, deep breathe. I had many thoughts flood my mind...wonder what he would look like if he were still here...granted he was elderly so that first thought was dismissed because it was ridiculous. Then the thought of, 'Oh my gosh. He was old and he still DID those things.' In that brief moment there was shock, denial, anger, confusion, acceptance and then a calm. The fact that this exact video popped up in my feed after this is insane. Was THAT dyregulation?
Yes, that was it. And you for sure were triggered. It's disregulates your emotions. Hope his passing brings you peace now & that your life gets filled with much deserved restoration & rejuvenation.
I'm very grateful, that I found you and your community a year ago. Some are so difficult to watch. 😢 This was one. Spoke to me loudly. Thank you.
My isolation/anxiety tripled with Covid-19 avoidance. Then I had to euthanize my wonderful BFF, a 12 yr old shih tzu named Frankie in October after a short but terrible illness. Perfect health & happy and then injured back while play fetch, shortly after, paralysed, two herniated dics. Vet said a fluke.
That ended so much of my happiness & long walks. Ive had many losses but never have I been so derailed. I named him after my teddy bear who I named after a retired neighbour who helped me from 3 onward without sexually abuse, or violence! Gardening and bird keeping. He was the only adult/ teen male who never used or abused me. This was until I grew "undesirable" with age. My family was so sick. My childhood was described as horrific by two psychiatrists. I was "farmed out", to old friends of the family 5 hours away. I never knew if i was coming home. 1 week at a time. But i got away from the biohazards that was my family when in Toronto, for university. I was in an abusive relationship for 22 years. Met him when in 1st yr at 19. I'm sorry. I didn't intend on this biography. I just wanted to say thank you. The work you do and the comments from the community that follow are very helpful. I hate knowing what I need to do to help end this isolation but remain stuck. But still I'm still swimming!
😊&❤ from Canada.
You'll be ok. Just keep swimming. And taking nourishing breaths. Everything a little at a time. 🤗💜
My heart goes out to you and I feel your pain at losing little Frankie 😭. I know he had a happy life with you and he knew how much you loved him ❤️. Keep on one step at a time and you will find the peace and tranquillity you deserve ❤ 🫂
I'm so sorry for your loss. We're truly grateful you're a part of our community and we're all sending you support :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Sending Strength of Love
💖🙏🏼💖
A friend's daughter drove me to the bank last week. While we were in line, her partner called her. They talked & I could hear him say, "I love you." My 1st thought was, "Of course he does. She's thin." I really believe that in my heart & soul- if you're fat, you don't deserve to be loved. My mother said that for 50 years of my life. Obviously, I need to work more on weeding her beliefs & sayings out of my mind. ✌✌
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. These beliefs are false because they stem from trauma. You can be loved and every time you think you don't deserve it, think the opposite right away to change your negative thought patterns. I also highly recommend The Daily Practice if you haven't tried it yet. It is a great way to process fears and resentments. You can learn it for free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
Beautiful living room! I was at your webinar yesterday and I'm so glad you found success filming there. I tend to tell myself that I don't need outside connection, although you and others tell me that I need it. I find it so exhausting. I tend to start connections and then have a hard time maintaining them. I will purposefully avoid people just because I don't have the energy to connect. I'm hoping the DP and regular vigorous exercise will help me, so that is what I'm trying as of late to manage my anxiety. I would like to enjoy and want to be around other people, rather than it feeling forced and hard.
You can do it! Enjoy the Daily Practice and thank you for attending yesterday's webinar!
Nika@TeamFairy
I feel like my CPTSD is compounded by the fact I am a woman with ASD1 who wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 30s. I thought there was something very wrong with me my whole life because I struggled to make friends and had no sympathy and very little support from the adults in my life. It's a miracle I have made it this far.
I think one of the setbacks to healing for me was pinning everything on having BPD (which I’m not diagnosed with, I am CPTSD diagnosed) which allowed me to just “manage” with substances and people instead of taking accountability and realizing that just because the things that happened to me in childhood weren’t my fault doesn’t mean I can feel better through other people, it’s all up to me and taking responsibility for my life and the way I’ve navigated it. I’m still in the hole right now but I’m currently building my ladder.
I LOVE YOU AND YOUR NEW BACKGROUND ❤✨
I seldom feel lonely. Sometimes I do, here and there, but not often. I prefer being by myself and always have. Being around others drains my batteries.
Also, lonely when you want to be friends but the other person doesn't know how
Is it a new background? I love it. It represents what Anna teaches: how to have a cosy, good, fulfilling life where things are in a neat order. I watch her videos in the breaks between therapy sessions and they are so incredibly helpful. It has really helped me to progress further.
Thank you Anna. Many blessings 🤗
Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment. Glad to hear Anna's videos help you on your healing journey! Keep up the great work!
Nika@TeamFairy
I'm just never good enough for anyone.
Listen... I was WAY too invested in a relationship and it has costed me about 7 years of pure isolation. It has been very hard to put myself back out there, and I have experienced these small wins... I have started saying hi to strangers, making small talk, hanging out with my friend again... but it doesn't feel any easier. WHEN does it get easier? WHEN do I get used to it again? WHEN do I stop feeling like I am sticking out during the socialization event? I feel like I have made such great strides but it is not getting any easier, or natural like it was before.
Oh Anna, love you so much. You’re more than a fairy, you’re an angel. Thank you 🙏🏻
But what about people who were traumatized as children but are totally fine and happy with their life of being alone? The thought of having a partner seems like such a chore and inconvenience for some of us.
Yes. Even when we long for relationship.
Yes. But knowing that you will never again in your life be hugged or touched in a tender way is almost too much to bear. One day it will be too much.
You couldn’t have said it better❤.
Thank you for watching!
Nika@TeamFairy
I had a marriage with a wife who I think has CPTSD. I have my issues too, but not toxic shame like her. I have anxiety and am frozen from it. I relate to the videos about procrastination and being stuck. I can’t plan or keep a calendar. Maybe I’m dysregulated in my own way, but it doesn’t seem like CPTSD. I want to turn everything off and just sleep. Do you think the daily practice or any of your other courses could help?
Yes! I would strongly recommend you give the daily practice a try. Here's a link to sign up for the free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy
I tried so hard to be a good mum, not to pass on the lack of worth that my parents often gave me, and I know I did really well, but the childhood pain never leaves, not even when those parents are long dead. I’m lonely just about all the time. What a life hey?
If you’re interested, Anna has a whole course on connecting with people called ‘Connection Bootcamp’. Here’s a link if you want to check it out: bit.ly/CCF_Connection
You may also like The Daily Practice (free course). It is a great way to process fears and resentment. Give it a try if you haven't already!: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
Love the new setup
This one is great. Thank you Anna.
Love your new background!!!!
Love the new backdrop Anna!
I love your new background!
It's full of light 🌻
The voice of reason!
I like the new setting!
Thank you for the hope that I can change
You got this! -Calista@TeamFairy
Ooh love your new background!
So cozy!
Can't thank you enough 🎉 all you teach is gold too me !
That no lovable, no worthy feelings and don't know where they'r coming from or how to deal with is terrifing.
And I didn't succed to get those answers from any One.
I ruminated much to figure out what's wrong with me....
Thank you ❤️ so much Anna for your honnesty and Amazing insight I ❤️🙏.
All those questions that made me crazy and angry that no one did answer me.
I remember a girl with social problems and her sponsor with other girls where tallking behind her back, how bad they felt neer her.
One day that girl asked me what was wrong with her, she felt it and I know how horrible it feels not to know but feel it, a very toxic situation.
I answered about how I felt, knowing the others where feeling too, but didn't Talk about how her sponsor behaved, with a group of Girls. That would be too much for one time and she didn't ask more.
I don't know if I played a role, but I saw her some monthes later and she seemed ok, don't know if she gosted me or didn't saw me.... But I was ok to be the bad One, if what I told her helped her to ajust 🤔 any way I was not popolar and was tired of NA meetings.... I don't know what I'll do next.
There's a therapic yoga theacher and I have two choices or to moove to the groupe or clean more my place, so that she can come to my place and juste me and her.... I'll see the opportunities , trying both. May be I'm lucky and can do Yoga and socialisation at one time, at least it's the town of my area. The 12 Steps meetings are in bigger towns, if I want ALANON, for NA there's a meeting in the town near my place or AA ( Not shure, it's not very popolar in my country). Any way I make it different and wont have only the meetings, if I choose NA it's to be alert and work on my problems with difficult poeple and don't forget that without healing my life can't change.
I fear I choose NA because I didn't found my Place, last time and that I want to be liked by those who don't, I fear I have a traumatic bound with NA..... I have time, I can try several things and choose After..... The next step is yoga, for work with a therapist.... For real I don't know what I can do next, I'm like watter, I flow how I can, depens of what call next 💕
I’m doing it! #changingmylife ❤ keep going, we are not alone in this pain. We can do it, and we are doing it right now.
You have a new background! Is this your living room? Thank you for sharing your story and insights.
Thank you Anna. I'm been following you but my road has been very very rocky.
I am continuing to get frustrated and then angry at work. There are some great people there, but a few just screw it up. It is getting tougher. I am going to look at her daily practice video. I'm tired of the nonsense and need a solution. I don't believe a new job is going to fix anything. I have to figure it out. She mentioned calming my triggers.
Yes, The Daily Practice is a good first step to healing. Here's a link to the free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
Niiiice background and video quality! It's great to see this channel improving ever more, thank you for all your work ❤
Glad you enjoy it! Thanks for your feedback!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you, I needed to hear this today. I have signed up for the Daily Practice
Wonderful!
Just found this video and I guess finally I can start my journey to healing at the age of 55. So glad I now have a name and how to move forward.😊 thank you
So glad you are here! Good luck on your healing journey!
Nika@TeamFairy
I just find it’s your honesty that is so empowering. I identify your shame of the family you grew up with. I got sent to boarding school but I couldn’t let people know how it was back home. It was lonely. I have been lied about and persecuted by a group. I feel bitter. But gradually getting thru the hurt.
You are giving FREE courses. You are amazing.
I wish you were in my locality. I can trust you.
Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment. We appreciate you in our community here! I encourage you to try The Daily Practice. It is a free course that provides the technique that led to Anna's own healing (and she uses it to this day!): bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice. Many people have already found this technique beneficial, and we hope you will find it helpful too!
Nika@TeamFairy
Really nice background on this one!
I would say that I feel the same way about having friends as I do about eating beef liver. Is it enjoyable? Not especially, but I try to do it every week because the contemporary scientific literature suggests that the health benefits it affords make gritting my teeth and doing it worthwhile.
Yes, i have autism. Of course 😭 obviously!!
Few years back, when I was experiencing a very low in my life, I promised myself to never settle for anything less than what my spirit deserves. In that moment, the life I wished for felt like a fairy tale but now I'm a lot closer to it than ever.
Even if the path is hard, even if the whole world gives up on me, it's not within me to give up on myself. I'll have what I desire and deserve or nothing at all.
Thank you for all the fellow souls who does the work.🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing, hope it will encourage others to never give up on themselves! Keep up the great work!
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you!!
Exactly.
I’ve been healing my cptsd with song writing. It really really works and you don’t need others to help you with it which is perfect. I finally feel ready to date again now my nervous system is back online. However my poor decision making has made me very isolated and I’m also in a job I hate too. Nothing in my life really makes me feel good anymore and I probably need to fix this before bringing anyone new in. Otherwise they just won’t be a match for me
Thanks for sharing! I encourage you to do The Daily Practice. It is a good tool that can help with getting regulated and clear thinking which in turn helps with decision-making. You can learn it for free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
My parents didn't have kids.
They had lab rats.
The only people I feel comfortable around were abused kids.
Still working on this..
I'm going to be alone forever. 😔
Same.
Emotional neglect.
You are in the right place. Hope Anna's content will help you.
Nika@TeamFairy
I’m trying to sign up for live Daily Practice Meetings, but I can’t. I can’t bc it says I have to take the Daily Practice Course, which I did a long time ago. I’m also not getting any emails to sign up. Please advise. 💜 Thank you!
Please email us at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com so we can assist you! -Calista@TeamFairy
Try having PTSD on top of PTSD. 😞 EMDR did finally help a bit but seems to have hit a wall. This makes a lot of sense. I find any reason to brush people off. My husband is the only one that wouldn't let me. He gets a biopsy next week. It's hit me that without him, I have literally NO one. I wouldn't want to live, anyway.
If you haven't already, try The Daily Practice, it is a great way to process fears and resentment. Here's a link to the free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
Romantic relationships are dangerous for me
im handling my triggers poorly lately. people make me want to cry i assume they are invalidating me bc now that i see people more often, i dont understand the meaning of everything they say so i assume im being attacked haha.
but i need to keep talking to people regardless, it hurts but i learn from my mistakes & i have made a new friend recently!!
the pain of being around people, its worth being there... i just wish it wasnt so miserable haha but ive been improving. i have to keep drowning first if i really want to swim eventually
I love your attitude! And congratulations on making a new friend! If you are interested, take Connection Bootcamp course that Anna developed. It provides a structured way to start working on friendships and social life. Here’s a link if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_Connection Good luck on your healing journey!
Nika@TeamFairy
so it could be that i am not retarded or autistic but disconnected thanks to my cptsd. it would certainly help me to understand my social cluelessness. sometimes i feel like there is a rulebook for social interactions and nobody ever gave me a copy and then condemns me for not having the rulebook.
Hope Anna's content will be that guide book for you. We're here to support you!
Nika@TeamFairy
Loneliness isn't a curse. My relationship history follows a flowchart: 1) we meet, and I'm charmed, 2) they figure out that if I love them, they can get away with anything, 3) they scam me/screw around 4) I give them the boot because I'm not as weak as they thought.
Relationships are parasitic. Screw that. They just aren't worth it.
Can CPTSD be a generational characteristic?
Yes. There is a video from Tim Fletcher called "generational trauma".
Do you ever talk about informing or re programming the subconscious?
It doesn’t seem like meditation and daily repetition would work for me. Tbf I have not tried it. But I really feel like I would not stick with it, like so many other things. How does that lead directly to re-regulation? I guess I should look at it again. I’m a bit afraid to do so.
You won't know if you don't try. The Daily Practice has helped many people already so I encourage you to give it a try. Through processing fears and resentment followed by simply meditation technique you can get regulated. If you're interested, here's a link to the free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thanks so much for reaching out. I’ll give it a try.
my social media name is my CPTSD name but I didn't know it till now
How the hell am I supposed to connect, when if I reach out people who previously said they'd be there suddenly disappear? How am I supposed to connect, and trust when if I happen to ask for companionship, all I get is that you are clever and resourceful, you'll manage (alone). This you have to trust and go out and connect sound good on paper butin actuality it cannot be done. So why not try to be a friend of yourself first, because all you get is liars who promise everything and deliver nothing.
Befriending yourself is always a good idea but connecting with others can help us heal faster. You might like ‘Connection Bootcamp’. Through this course, Anna provides a structured way to start working on social life, and it can help improve relationships with acquaintances and the people closest to you. Here’s a link if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_Connection
Nika@TeamFairy
What about even as a newborn and baby? My mother let me know when I was 35 that when I was born she thought I was the ugliest thing she had ever seen, I disgusted her, she hated me and hated caring for me even the minimum amount and she said she couldn’t even look at me until I was three. Out of that hate she gave me a male first and middle name on purpose to destroy me.She thought this was funny that’s why she told me but I said I never talk to me again. Esp as a mother I was mortified and so hurt but also it made sense I always hated her deep deep inside not on the outside.
Sorry you have experienced that. I encourage you to try The Daily Practice. It is a great way to process fears and resentment, and many people have already benefited from this technique. Here's a link to the free course, if you'd like to give it a try: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
The comments are so heartbreaking. We have an epidemic of loneliness.
I just know I need to stop trying to connect with my mother because still when I'm 34 ill say something personal and she'll react in such a rude way! Like dis me. I don't know if she is so un aware and thinks the things she says is funny or if she likes being critical. I also have caught the being critical gene from her though and I'm working on stopping that!
We're all sending you support :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I think all these videos and education are really helpful but they miss an important part.
It puts all the responsibility of change onto the individual with cptsd.
Yes I get that as we can only control our own healing so we need to take responsibility for this but there needs to be an acknowledgement that effective co regulation is very hard to find in our culture. Because with our fast paced culture we mostly numb, dismiss and run away from our own pain as well as others pain.
For healing you need co regulation and you need company with your pain to be able to release it.
So the daily writing exercise serves as a substitute of a real person to help us with this.
We don’t need just any company but someone who can see all of us. All of our emotions, pain, thoughts.
As it feels most lonely when we are with people and we’re forced to mask this.
Why would I want to ‘heal’ from my knowledge of the reality of how people are? Here’s the reality: you can trust people 100% of the time. That is, as long as you trust them to do what they *believe* will be in their own best interest. What do I mean by that? Consider a guy who goes into a local bodega and points a gun at the clerk and demands cash. From the outside, any rational person knows that robber’s actions are not in his best interest. But the robber? In that moment, he *believes* that robbery to be in his own best interest. He’s on video, he’s gonna be caught, his take will only be tens or perhaps a couple hundred dollars. Yet he goes and robs the store.
So as long as you can predict that, you can trust him to do it. And people are indeed predictably irrational. But anyone can clearly see where associating with people, once you know these things to be true, is not in my own best interest. So I associate with very few, only those with whom our true long-term interests are compatible.
Δεν ξέρει τι να κανει το universal μαζι σου. Να σε τραυματίσει κι άλλο; θα καταλαβεις τότε τη σύμπτωση;
Ok I thought I’d have a quick listen
2 lines in “non traumatised people”
No such thing!
If you understand non duality there’s not even people but there definitely is no such thing as no trauma in a person
Do better