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A: “Hell Yeah.” Needs to be a shirt along with “Christ I’m old” B: Remember Voltron? I still have my old die cast metal toys and owned the shows on VHS
There's a new voltron series out there that is worth a watch. Not sure if it's streaming anywhere but it should be easy enough to find. Y'all have a badass day 🤘
"But first we need a house establishing shot so we know what house they're leaving." "Thank God, maybe it's gonna show us a better movie." "That's gonna cause cross contamination." "Continuity is hard." **different shirt** Any movie that results in a review this funny can't be all bad. 😂😂😂
Ah, the La Casa series. Dario Argento's epic series about a grumpy Italian doctor with a bum leg who fights the undead with his chainsaw hand, as played by Lance Henriksen.
When I saw this movie on Tubi and saw it had Hasselhoff and Linda Blaire? I asked myself why hadn't I ever heard of this obvious gem? .....then I watched it and found out why...
You've officially gotten to me, Mike. I was working on my latest story and reached a point where the MC runs into a survivor of the killer and clear as day heard you in my head "Time for some exposition!"
My dad was a big horror movie fan and would just record multiple movies off of HBO when I was a kid. When my parents got divorced, I had several of these tapes lying around. On one of those tapes was a movie improperly attributed as “Witches,” which I later found to be this film here, Witchery. As a kid, of all the horror movies we had on tape, this we felt was the most disgusting. Namely for the fireplace sequence. When I watched as an adult, I didn’t find it to be so grotesque, but as a kid, if you asked me or anyone in my close family what the grossest horror movie we had ever seen was, it would be “Witches” without a doubt. Pretty sure we had Jason Lives, Cameron’s Closet, and Witchery on one cassette. Talk about a wild trio!
I watched this film so many times as a kid and completely forgot about it until now, I literally only remember the fireplace scene and the doll scene with the guys neck popping with blood
This is one of those flicks I got as part of a four-movies-in-one-DVD! deal at Target or Best Buy or something. Five bucks for one of those things and none of those movies are ever worth a buck twenty-five. I'll be honest. I didn't get through the whole thing. Catherine Hickland was doing such a marvelous job of putting me to sleep with every line reading that I decided after about forty-five minutes that I had better things to do with my time... like color-coordinate my garbage or something. You know she only got the job because she worked with The Hoff on Knight Rider. He must have owed her a favor from that. Hats off to ya for making it through the whole thing AND writing a script for it... AND editing the whole thing. Geez, man. The stuff you do for us. Two Hell Yeahs and two Christ I'm Olds, too. Nice work.
The best Horror Geek is the one who presents terrible movies with amazing puns and double the “Christ I’m old” , “Pervs” and screenwriter’s credits. Fantastic job with a modestly sick flick.
It would appear that the graphic that was being shown as Linda Blair was being flushed down the drain was actually the opening to the Tom Baker era Doctor Who with a red filter on it.
I think they are being sucked into Dr Who. Well finally caught up on all your vids, I only have Wednesday to look forward too. You’re alright Bracken!!
From the writer of "Zombie 5" and the director of "Contamination". Produced by the man, who brought us "Erotic Nights of the living dead" and "Porno Holocaust" (basically the same movie under two different titles). Starring the girl from "The Exorcist" (yeah!) and "The Exorcist 2" (oh... no...) and Prince Simon from "Star Crash". This movie is like the Wrestlemania of schlocky B-movie godness XD
I really enjoy your discussion of the history/background of these flicks. Hilarious content man! This one was almost too easy, especially compared to Martyrs, but your wit is on point!
(To the tune of “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks) 🎶I’m a Witch, And I love it I eat child, a real motherf***** I’m all sinner, And zero saint, And I’d love to cause you pain Take you to hell, it’s no dream You could say I’m a real scream And I don’t care a friggin f*** if you want me any other way 🎶
Joke's on you, I watched Beastking Go Lion, which Voltron was adapted from, a mere five years ago. 16:06 YES!! Finally, an excuse to use it! I don't know if the "C" on that jersey is supposed to be for "continuity", but I'll say it was. It makes me a little sad Linda Blair had one famous role, and nothing else in her acting career. Mark Hammil's Hollywood career pretty much began and ended with Star Wars, but he's one the most respected American voice actors, thanks in large part to being *the* Joker voice for most people my age.
Fwiw, it's fun to dunk on Hasselhoff, but the Hofster brings out the fuzzies for me. Nightrider was a great show, and one of my favorite made-for-tv horror movies is "Terror at London Bridge." I watched it when i was kid, and it scared the crap out of me. I rewatched it last year, and it still has a bit of charm to it. Also, Linda Blair is freaking awesome, even when she isn't trying. I'm sure the last thing on earth she wanted to do was milk the Exorcist ONE MORE TIME, but for us fans, it's still entertaining. The hair alone makes me want to watch this. :)
01:57 How can you have a "special appearance" in a movie? Did Knef show up uninvited on the set and was she then given a part because she was there anyway?
I couldn't find any hint she ever commented on this movie, but supposedly she once said about some career choices: "The money is gone, the shame stays with you."
This is one of my guilty pleasures, even before I was informed that we Germans are kind of obsessed about The Hoff. By the way, great episode again, too bad I couldn't make it to the premiere.
Hey Mike compared to you I'm a relic at 66 years old. I live chatted with Spooky Boo Rhodes. They were talking about the Blair Witch Project. I joked did it star Linda Blair ? They didn't know what I was talking about. Christ I'm old!!!
Movies like this are what attracted me to your Reviews in the first place, I love bad Movies as anything goes and they have nothing to prove, 10 out of 10 Mate.
I'm so glad to hear this...because I love doing these kinds of movies. I often think I'm probably holding the channel back by covering weird stuff most of YT doesn't know about, but it's more fun for me.
The legendary Miss Linda Blair was in CHAINED HEAT, not CAGED HEAT. Also, the American VHS box cover (I think from VIDMARK) is the preferred film image as it prominently features Linda Blair and even gives her billing over David Hasselhoff!
Think I saw this....the brain gets foggy through the decades, is there a scene in this one where they sew a woman's lips shut and leave her in the chimney to burn to death? I type that sentence and think....what the hell is wrong with me? LOL
Observe, kindred, as we cast off our robes to reveal our too-snug red speedos. Ah, yes. Are we not resplendent? Now. Alight ye each a black tallow stick of defiled board wax and array thine selves at each point of the pentacle. Make no misstep, for tonight we perform the Hexenhoff incantation and the god shall walk amongst us! Hail, Eleniak! "Hail, Eleniak!"
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Disclaimer: this is an Amazon affiliate link. By purchasing through this link my channel will earn a referral fee. This will not make the item cost more. Amazon simply pays me for sending business to their site. It's another way you can support the channel.
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A shower scene needs no reason.
Dude you are the best! XD
That poster is a "Hell yeah" all by itself.
The poster promises “Hell Yeah”, agreed.✌️
But will the film deliver more of a “Yeah…Hell!” experience? 🧐
Another classic example of a poster overselling it. 😂😂😂
@@TheHorrorGeek 😄✌️
@@TheHorrorGeek that sounds like every 80s video horror movie ever. Especially when they tried to make them seem more gorier than they were
A: “Hell Yeah.” Needs to be a shirt along with “Christ I’m old” B: Remember Voltron? I still have my old die cast metal toys and owned the shows on VHS
Hell yeah merch is definitely coming. I never figured out how to make Christ I'm old work, since the first half of the joke is always different.
There's a new voltron series out there that is worth a watch. Not sure if it's streaming anywhere but it should be easy enough to find. Y'all have a badass day 🤘
@@TheHorrorGeek Put me down for a Hell Yeah t-shirt!
@@TheHorrorGeek love your vids - keep'em coming. Can you please tell me what movie 'Hell yeah' is from? Thanks 👍
I would buy a "Hell Yeah shirt if it was in v or scoop neck vs just regular tshirt for sure
Lately I find myself muttering "house establishing shot" out loud whenever I see one. Annoys the hell out of my wife. Thanks Mike!
This and hell yeah are my legacy. 😂
@@TheHorrorGeek I just hope he doesn't give his wife "the pimp hand".
@@TheDing1701 Hell yeah!
At least you're not muttering " Meanwhile, over in another movie".
"...Not like THAT, you pervs!..."
"But first we need a house establishing shot so we know what house they're leaving."
"Thank God, maybe it's gonna show us a better movie."
"That's gonna cause cross contamination."
"Continuity is hard." **different shirt**
Any movie that results in a review this funny can't be all bad. 😂😂😂
Aw, thanks. :-)
Linda Blair being Repossessed by the Italians, David Hasslehoff trying to be a hero, this review i gotta see
Have you seen the parody movie Repossessed, with Linda Blair and Leslie Nielsen? I saw it like 25 years ago when I was a kid, laughed my ass off.
@@thunderchubbs7640 yeah recently watched it and still laughed till the hiccups came 🤣
I always wanted an album of house establishing shots! 😆
Me too!
Sounds like a good coffee table book.
@@TheHorrorGeek Haha, i literally snorted my coffee when you said "book of house establishing shots" :)
Ah, the La Casa series. Dario Argento's epic series about a grumpy Italian doctor with a bum leg who fights the undead with his chainsaw hand, as played by Lance Henriksen.
When I saw this movie on Tubi and saw it had Hasselhoff and Linda Blaire? I asked myself why hadn't I ever heard of this obvious gem? .....then I watched it and found out why...
Haha! sometimes the mysteries solve themselves... :p
You've officially gotten to me, Mike. I was working on my latest story and reached a point where the MC runs into a survivor of the killer and clear as day heard you in my head "Time for some exposition!"
skill is knowing how to hide exposition. failing that, at least make it entertaining.
My dad was a big horror movie fan and would just record multiple movies off of HBO when I was a kid. When my parents got divorced, I had several of these tapes lying around. On one of those tapes was a movie improperly attributed as “Witches,” which I later found to be this film here, Witchery. As a kid, of all the horror movies we had on tape, this we felt was the most disgusting. Namely for the fireplace sequence. When I watched as an adult, I didn’t find it to be so grotesque, but as a kid, if you asked me or anyone in my close family what the grossest horror movie we had ever seen was, it would be “Witches” without a doubt.
Pretty sure we had Jason Lives, Cameron’s Closet, and Witchery on one cassette. Talk about a wild trio!
That house is shown so much it deserves to be in the credits: Guest starring Number 57 Ocean Drive....
The Hoff: "Help me Kitt there are witches everywhere!"
Kitt: "You don't have to yell Michael, I'm all around you!"
"My baby?"
_freeze frame_
_sad trumpet_
_laugh track_
_executive producer Donald Bellisario_
"The Voltron of terrible movies..."
Beautiful!
I watched this film so many times as a kid and completely forgot about it until now, I literally only remember the fireplace scene and the doll scene with the guys neck popping with blood
"Continuity is hard." - I was laughing out loud at that one!! You got me there!!
And I remember Voltron! (Which one are we talking, lions or vehicle?)
Lions only! Any other version is a travesty, an insult to giant space robot construction.
That final reaction shot really screams out for a Curb Your Enthusiasm stinger music cue and slow push in!
Hahha! I wish I'd thought of that... that would have been great.
3:37 We can put the lifeguard stand right over here. Beautiful commentary!
Thank you! 😂
16:43 He's been looking for freedom 😂
19:09 Looking all OG Doctor Who opening Titles in Red!
Voltron! My favorite cartoon growing up! Loved it!
The Linda Blair possession trilogy:
The Exorcist
Witchcraft
Repossessed
Exorcist 3 is amazing. It's like a slasher mixed with religion. The atmosphere is great.
Absolutely, that hospital corridor scene is downright masterful.
It's the best of the series.
@@ronaldowens5025 Brad Dourif deserved an Oscar for that role
Was everyone given Nyquil against their will, or were they shot with tranquilizer darts?
Why not both?
@@codiak2680 hell yeah
That poster looks pretty.... interesting😉
Watching it right now on Tubi so I am prepared for the premiere of your review tomorrow.
Oooh my god!! The house establishing shots tomorrow! 😳🤘
Yeah, it's...a lot. :p
Lmao right as you said that the movie just showed a house establishing shot
This is going to be the best episode of Bewitched ever😁😁😁
Haha! "Too much pre-workout and a sick pump" I felt that one. Great video, as always Mike! I didn't even know this movie existed.
Horror Geek you are the best 😍😍
1:15 She's got Bette Davis eyes 👀 Christ Im old !
This is one of those flicks I got as part of a four-movies-in-one-DVD! deal at Target or Best Buy or something. Five bucks for one of those things and none of those movies are ever worth a buck twenty-five. I'll be honest. I didn't get through the whole thing. Catherine Hickland was doing such a marvelous job of putting me to sleep with every line reading that I decided after about forty-five minutes that I had better things to do with my time... like color-coordinate my garbage or something. You know she only got the job because she worked with The Hoff on Knight Rider. He must have owed her a favor from that. Hats off to ya for making it through the whole thing AND writing a script for it... AND editing the whole thing. Geez, man. The stuff you do for us. Two Hell Yeahs and two Christ I'm Olds, too. Nice work.
The best Horror Geek is the one who presents terrible movies with amazing puns and double the “Christ I’m old” , “Pervs” and screenwriter’s credits. Fantastic job with a modestly sick flick.
Bob Champagne...with his bubbly personality 🥂🍾
"A bad-acting show-down", now that is a sharp cut-down to say about any actors/actresses in or of any film.
Yessssss! I’m pretty jazzed for this one!
It would appear that the graphic that was being shown as Linda Blair was being flushed down the drain was actually the opening to the Tom Baker era Doctor Who with a red filter on it.
"no not like that you perves",
no matter how many times i hear that , it stick cracks me up.
and that continuity shot, priceless
I think they are being sucked into Dr Who.
Well finally caught up on all your vids, I only have Wednesday to look forward too. You’re alright Bracken!!
16:27 - Old man has to get back to his second job as a guard for a bank vault filled with Hobgoblins.
Bathtub to the Beyond
"Hell yeah!"
Hasselhoff and Hildegard Knef! Your germans audiences are going to cheer.
Hell yeah!
@@jr03312010 As I get older, it becomes more and more difficult for me to control myself ... and Christ I'm old!
From the writer of "Zombie 5" and the director of "Contamination".
Produced by the man, who brought us "Erotic Nights of the living dead" and "Porno Holocaust" (basically the same movie under two different titles). Starring the girl from "The Exorcist" (yeah!) and "The Exorcist 2" (oh... no...) and Prince Simon from "Star Crash".
This movie is like the Wrestlemania of schlocky B-movie godness XD
The poster looks like a dollar store romance novel.
Definitely.
You could not pay me to watch this movie. You're a brave man for shouldering this burden.
I'm already sucked in by the headline! 😄
I know what I'm doing this Scaretober when I watch horror movies and there's a 'house establishing shot'.....get drunk! Thanks for this Mike 😄
Bette Davis, the woman who can terrify me with even a joke that she's in something. And yet I've seen at least 15 of her movies. Go figure.
@UC5vfINBLHkaIB6hRjrQt3nw I really should have seen this coming. That song was not my friend and I still won't take it's calls.
This review is jam packed with Classic Mike Bracken!!!!
"Do you kids even remember Voltron?" looks at the Netflix remake and sweats
I really enjoy your discussion of the history/background of these flicks. Hilarious content man! This one was almost too easy, especially compared to Martyrs, but your wit is on point!
Thanks David!
(To the tune of “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks)
🎶I’m a Witch, And I love it
I eat child, a real motherf*****
I’m all sinner, And zero saint,
And I’d love to cause you pain
Take you to hell, it’s no dream
You could say I’m a real scream
And I don’t care a friggin f*** if you want me any other way 🎶
Another winner!
@@TheHorrorGeek 😀🥰
The blonde shower girl was Hasselhoff's wife at the time. The next Hildegard Knef movie you do should be "The Lost Continent", a childhood favorite.
Is that the one with killer seaweed?
@@TheRealNormanBates Yes.
The guy with the talking car is the sanest person in the movie...
"We are definitely screwed!" LOL
I laughed as to how many times ya said, “We’re in trouble.”
Joke's on you, I watched Beastking Go Lion, which Voltron was adapted from, a mere five years ago.
16:06 YES!! Finally, an excuse to use it! I don't know if the "C" on that jersey is supposed to be for "continuity", but I'll say it was.
It makes me a little sad Linda Blair had one famous role, and nothing else in her acting career. Mark Hammil's Hollywood career pretty much began and ended with Star Wars, but he's one the most respected American voice actors, thanks in large part to being *the* Joker voice for most people my age.
This one's new for me! Can't wait for the premiere!!!
Hildegard Knef was a big star in Germany. We germans loved her…and she loved the alcohol.
David Hasselhoff as a hero is like me being a Lifeguard 😃😂
I should 🏃 in slow motion to get the effort done right as a Hero like the Hoff
You have convinced me I need to see this movie. Hell yeah.
Good luck.... :-)
"U wanna come over here and loot this chest" 😂 😂😂
Hahah! I forgot that joke was in there.
Wow the Exorcist/Baywatch xover you never knew existed lol
Damn it!!! How many times do I have to tell people?!?! DON’T HASSLE THE HOFF!!!
Shine a light through a crystal, attracting the attention of a young JJ Abrams "Did someone do a lens flare? I love lens flare."
I love this movie, and I have no idea why. There is a charm about this turd that just hits me where it counts. It's about time to watch it again :)
Same, this was the first "gory" horror movie I ever saw
Fwiw, it's fun to dunk on Hasselhoff, but the Hofster brings out the fuzzies for me. Nightrider was a great show, and one of my favorite made-for-tv horror movies is "Terror at London Bridge." I watched it when i was kid, and it scared the crap out of me. I rewatched it last year, and it still has a bit of charm to it.
Also, Linda Blair is freaking awesome, even when she isn't trying. I'm sure the last thing on earth she wanted to do was milk the Exorcist ONE MORE TIME, but for us fans, it's still entertaining. The hair alone makes me want to watch this. :)
An unknown murderer running around stabbing people with that swordfish would have cost 1/2 the budget and been twice as good.
When you're right, you're right. :p
Jeeez....I keep finding myself searching the background for a black Firebird......with shifty red eyes
Tim Curry Fairuza Balk cosplay for the win!
Glad someone else appreciated that...
@@TheHorrorGeek Christ we are old!
09:23 "This happens to me every time I do Taco Bell and shrooms." 😂😂That was gold.
Looks like her two friends are leading the way.....
The pen fish… that was worthy of a golf clap
That's my favorite kind! I mean, it's way better than the kind you penicillin for... :p
Terrible movies = The best videos
Great work as always.
I love how you say La Casa. Always catches me off guard ;)
01:57 How can you have a "special appearance" in a movie? Did Knef show up uninvited on the set and was she then given a part because she was there anyway?
Probably. 😂
I couldn't find any hint she ever commented on this movie, but supposedly she once said about some career choices: "The money is gone, the shame stays with you."
OMG... Hildegard Knef. She's quite the icon here in Germany ...
This is one of my guilty pleasures, even before I was informed that we Germans are kind of obsessed about The Hoff.
By the way, great episode again, too bad I couldn't make it to the premiere.
I remember 1 900 Mix A Lot.
Loved the Voltron reference! And yes, I am that old!
Hey Mike compared to you I'm a relic at 66 years old. I live chatted with Spooky Boo Rhodes. They were talking about the Blair Witch Project. I joked did it star Linda Blair ? They didn't know what I was talking about. Christ I'm old!!!
Yeah, you got me beat Rene. I was just talking yesterday about these horror kids not knowing things...and how crazy it is the 80s were 40 years ago.
Another gem of a review. Keep up the great work Mike! 🤘🏻
David Hasselhoff has reached a level of coolness that few ever achieve -- UA-cam spell check flags misspellings of his last name.
Haha! The coolest of the cool.
disaster piece is the most clever and accurate description I've ever heard
I've been kicking around the idea of doing a second show called Disasterpiece Theater.
I need more hours in the day.
@@TheHorrorGeek i would definitely watch it if you did ,but alas there are only so much one can do in a day.
That ending made me loose it! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
15:18 I remember 976-evil, does that count?
This movie needed more Hoff establishing shots
Movies like this are what attracted me to your Reviews in the first place, I love bad Movies as anything goes and they have nothing to prove, 10 out of 10 Mate.
I'm so glad to hear this...because I love doing these kinds of movies. I often think I'm probably holding the channel back by covering weird stuff most of YT doesn't know about, but it's more fun for me.
Now I remember, budget Joan Rivers was in Billy Crystal's writing class in Throw Mama from the Train!
"My Baby?" she says , with the same energy as someone finding out they wore mismatched socks.
Yeah, it's hilariously bad. :p
4:09 Hell YEAH!
The legendary Miss Linda Blair was in CHAINED HEAT, not CAGED HEAT. Also, the American VHS box cover (I think from VIDMARK) is the preferred film image as it prominently features Linda Blair and even gives her billing over David Hasselhoff!
That was part of the joke. She dreamt she was in a different WIP movie. 😂
@@TheHorrorGeek Ah, I see! LOL
I worried people were gonna think I screwed that up. I should have sold it better. :p
Multiple hell yeahs and christ I’m old! Jokes??? Love it! Thank you mike!
Fun fact, I was gonna take out one of the Christ I'm old jokes and I just forgot. So, bonus for you guys. :p
I remember both! Christ I’m old!
You had me at 'amazingly dreadful...'
Hasselhoff is Sanskrit for HAIL the HOFF...pretty sure I read that on the internet somewhere...like YOU just did!
In English it means “cheesburger man.”
😆
@@CorbCorbin 😏😂
Nice change of colour for the video! Keep up the great work and puns. They’re pun-ishing.
Think I saw this....the brain gets foggy through the decades, is there a scene in this one where they sew a woman's lips shut and leave her in the chimney to burn to death?
I type that sentence and think....what the hell is wrong with me? LOL
There is indeed!
Actually you're right, that scene is in this. Also some familiar images like a possessed Linda Blair and Hasselhoff watching the bay.
@@chuck.u.farley Wow, I nailed it from a movie I saw 32 years ago, but,....can't tell you what I had for dinner last night....priorities, ya know?
@@theblackflame4002 Could it be fortune telling cookies you had for dinner?
@@chuck.u.farley No, I was unfortunate.
Observe, kindred, as we cast off our robes to reveal our too-snug red speedos. Ah, yes. Are we not resplendent? Now. Alight ye each a black tallow stick of defiled board wax and array thine selves at each point of the pentacle. Make no misstep, for tonight we perform the Hexenhoff incantation and the god shall walk amongst us!
Hail, Eleniak!
"Hail, Eleniak!"
Hahahahahahah!
That crane operator dropped the hottest bars of 1988.
"Crazy Witches Light" was the best 1970s Prog rock band! :D
You might be on to something... :p