Wally Lamb on Meeting Columbine Gunman's Father
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- Опубліковано 19 кві 2009
- Complete video at: fora.tv/2008/12/04/Wally_Lamb_...
While signing copies of The Hour I First Believed, his novel about the Columbine High School massacre, author Wally Lamb was approached by the father of gunman Eric Harris. Lamb remembers the details of the emotionally charged moment.
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Wally Lamb talks about his novel The Hour I First Believed.
When 47-year-old high school teacher Caelum Quirk and his younger wife, Maureen, a school nurse, move to Littleton, Colorado, they both get jobs at Columbine High School. In April 1999, Caelum returns home to Three Rivers, Connecticut, to be with his aunt who has just had a stroke.
But Maureen finds herself in the school library at Columbine, cowering in a cabinet and expecting to be killed - Book Passage
Wally Lamb's first two novels, She's Come Undone (Simon & Schuster/Pocket, 1992) and I Know This Much Is True (HarperCollins/ReganBooks, 1998), were #1 New York Times bestsellers, New York Times Notable Books of the Year, and featured titles of Oprahs Book Club. I Know This Much Is True was a Book of the Month Club main selection and the June 1999 featured selection of the Bertelsman Book Club, the national book club of Germany. Lamb is also the editor of the nonfiction anthologies Couldnt Keep It to Myself: Testimonies from Our Imprisoned Sisters.
those parents are just as much victims as other childrens parents..they buried their kids no different than anyone else...
Dylan and Eric weren't buried. Their parents thought people would vandalise their graves.
@@user-np1vj4bg9n You don't get the point stupid.
They also live with the guilt of what their children has done. Especially Sue Klebold, if you read her book :/
@@EccoLivingLife no, dream maker is eloquently elaborating on the point stupid
@@businessofseyy3512 Does Sue Klebold still love her kid?
I am the brother of a person who took someones life many years ago ..i watched my parents age tremendously and blame themselves ,unjustifyably ,perhaps for the rest of their lives ,although he did his best to make his ammends to them ,it will always be a stain on our good name of course as we were never brought up to hate ,.but were in a country divided by civil war ,not that that is any excuse ...but my sincere empathy goes out to the elders of these boys ,they have no blame in their sons deeds
I can tell you're a kid, so I'ma be gentle.
But...Dylan wasn't manipulated to kill people. Personally, you can look at the videos they made together, and see the rage he shared with Eric.
Dylan was perhaps more sensitive, and had more inner conflict than Eric. It seemed Dylan would to have liked a normal life, but he was quick to end it with his pal since shit wasn't looking up.
They just picked an easy decision to give up on life which always makes people more dangerous than they are.
I wonder where Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold's brothers are doing now.
Byron (Dylan) is a drug addict. He never kicked the drug addiction, a drug addiction since he was 14. I doubt he has a wife and son. Drugs are his wife and son.
LePiNkpInK. lIlI1Il1Ill1I I would be a drug addict to if my brother was a school shooter
Decrepit creep23862, ATTENTION SEEKER
hes a therapist now :)
Dylan's brother is working somewhere.
This man is so understanding and compassionate. Klebold and Harris family are not to blame. They didn't know. Even the boys said their parents will be shocked beyond belief.
Honestly probably one of the saddest thing in US History
I read Sue Klebold's book, "A Mother's Reckoning" and it was indeed insightful. It explains her feelings of sorrow, loss, and guilt concerning her son's actions. The most important point the book makes is how easy it is to not really know your teen. Teens can hide so many things, and you would never know they were angry, depressed, or intending to act out. It truly could happen in any family.
That book leveled me. I think anyone who has children should read it. Cover to cover it is purely a cautionary tale about keeping your kids safe from themselves and staying vigilant especially throughout their teen years. It gave me SO much to consider as a mother concerning my child's mental health, even though my daughter is only five.
She's milking it in a way that is beyond disgusting and all too Murican, y'all should be ashamed
@@NDBit All the proceeds of the book go to suicide prevention programs and brain health research and awareness. My conscience is clear.
Read Randy Brown’s recently released book and discover the truth about Sue Klebold. Her book is deceptive at best.
Jon Bourgoin What does he say about Sue? He has 2 books out now?
Wally Lamb is one of my favorite authors. What a compassionate and classy man.
Sense a calm and understanding man idk him but seems like a cool dude
Every person that has ever grown into adulthood has at least once kept something secret from their parents throughout their teenage years. For me, it doesnt seem unfathomable that Eric and Dylan could keep such violent desires and meticulous planning hidden from their parents. I know that had I held the same feelings i could have pulled off the same feat as im sure a lot of you all could as well. Its not fair to blame the parents the only more they could do would be a prison style room search
“How could they not have seen this?” Teenage boys hide shit from their parents all the time. If he didn’t want her to find out about it, then she wasn’t gonna find out about it.
Wow I haven't heard of either Harris parent in the public eye. I do pray for both sets of parents
Dylan's mom sue has made a dozen or more talks about everything. She's the only one that has made public appearance and talked on camera
I suspect that we won't hear from the Harris parents until the depositions are unsealed. The judge sealed them for 20 years back in 2007 so it will be at least April 2027. Even after all these years there is still a lot of interest in this case, particularly from the perspective of the Harris parents since they have been so elusive
It's not like the parents just let those 2 run wild and were being neglectful. That's not the case at all. Just normal suburban parents. Hindsights always 20/20.
Omg I appreciate this guys saying what he is saying because the level of agony from those 2's parents must be EXCRUCIATING! Who the F*CK knows that your flesh and blood teen would be capable of being this horrendous?! Dr. Phil said something once that is so true. 'Normal' people (for lack of a better word) CAN NOT CONCEIVE of such violence being carried out. By your own baby??? UNIMAGINABLE. Blaming these parents guts me for them. Not only do they have the feeling of guilt beyond measure for the rest of their lives from the horrible losses of lives, they are also dealing with the fact that their children died and are not allowed by society to mourn their own children because of the crimes. Can you imagine how AGONIZING that must be?? Would not wish it in my worst enemy. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for humanizing these parents. They are broken beyond measure most days and they need to be humanized to the world and not ONLY looked at as the kid's parents of Columbine, but also as simply parents who lost their babies in the most unimaginable way. 💔😥
Not sure I believe him. Why would Eric's father go to a local book signing about his sons murderers where he was likely to run into the victims friends and family. I thought the Harris family shunned any attention. Unless I don't know, it just doesn't make sense. Sorry but what makes more sense is an author trying to get more attention for his book. I apologise if I am wrong, but did anyone else witness this interaction? If not than, yeah right, not so sure that happened.
I'm not sold either. I've heard the Harrises left Calorado any way and are possibly in New York. I'm just not buying, it makes no sense!
@@tiffanyward8949 No, they are still in colorado. Sue klebold said she still lives there and sometimes sees them in a grocery store
I feel like he would get sued if that was the case. He wouldn't take the risk of a lie with a volatile topic like Columbine.
Maybe it was the one time he decided to go see..
@@lagii8576 She said the harrises not the Klebolds. I believe she is correct that the Harris's left CO and now living in the east.
I agree. Even if they are partially at fault it's no reason to hate them for it or not empathize with them. They made mistakes and people died, but that doesn't change the fact that the tragedy affects them to this day as much as anyone.
yeah they were still bullied brown and morris and adams all have said in many documentries, even a girl crying whilst being interviewed says "I begged him for 10 minuutes not to shoot me so he shot the girl in stead in the head right in front of me and the black kid cause he was black. he put the gun to my head and said this was because every one was mean to him last year"
Stop blaming the families. Its not fair, its not justice.Stop placing your anger on their shoulders, stop wondering if the family members could some day replicate this crime, by virtue of being related. These two families suffered additional loss as well, of many things, on a media driven national and world stage. Stop! Its unchristian and ignorant regarding mental health. Pray for all the families, and people touched by this tragedy. If you dont pray to a GOD, then at least be a thoughtful, decent human being.
Yes, who could imagine? It had never happened before in that scale.
Who could even imagine that now? Their children being capable of such an atrocity.
There have been parents in recent times that have turned in their kids after finding disturbing items. I truly commend them. That must be very difficult to do as a parent.
No one listened to them because there was nothing to listen to. Their classmates have said in interviews that eric and dylan were both very quiet and usually kept to themselves. they manipulated everyone into thinking that they were nice kids when really, they were secretly planning to kill hundreds of people. no one saw this coming and you can't really blame them.
Eric's father covered for him a ton before the shootings. He was adamant that Eric not have consequences when he was caught making previous threats and destroying property so I do think he should have some answers.
I believe in compassion and don’t think the parents could have known exactly what was coming, however…
Let’s not forget the facts. The Harris parents told the police to not inspect the basements because they knew Eric has pipe bombs. Also, they have been much less forthcoming to the victims families than Sue. I pray everyone finds healing but I think it’s important to remember the details
I feel for both sets of parents. Although I do find some of the things Eric had done more obvious and probably should have been picked up on. I don't blame these parents, it's unlikely that they knew anything at all.
In Dylans journal, I read a part where he speaks about how it was hard distancing himself from his family whilst planning the attack. Without undermining what he did, I can't help but imagine the difference it would have made, had he received the right help.
Great author. I read 'I know this much is true' and I sobbed multiple times.
@MadMAn12gauge hahaha so you're saying if kids act out, their parents should automatically assume that their child will go on a shooting rampage at their school? get real. yeah they had run ins with the law, but they were just petty crimes like theft and vandalism. how the fuck were their parents supposed to assume that mass murder would be their next crime? eric and dylan were very secretive and they made sure no one knew what they were up to. their parents are not to blame
Rather sad story, it must be really really emotional for Eric (and offcourse Dylan's) family..
They not only lost a son, they also have to live with the fact their son murdered kids. :/
CaptainP00face
Aw, how did you do so? I would like to send them a supportive letter about coping with their son's actions & how they're not to blame; same thing with Klebold's mother.
I'm amazed at how sympathetic the majority of the comments are. I'm learning a lot. My auto-response was to blame the parents. Hm. I'll have to work on that. Ideally, we should be compassionate and forgiving, I suppose. I imagine, also, that most of the commenters have children and are slow to blame because of their own self-doubt. I don't have children and never wanted them. I often joke that I think my children would have grown up to be psychopaths or worse, so I saved the world. But really, I should be striving to be compassionate, I guess.
Parents help shape who their children are, but so does society, school, peers, and access to help if needed. There was a flurry of different factors that led to the shooting. It is not solely on the parents.
They weren't little kids, they were about to graduate high school. They were men.
The police were aware that Eric had threatened people with bombs in the past and they did nothing either.
Looking back, I'm sure the police, parents, school employees, and other students can think of things they could have done to prevent it.....but that doesn't make them guilty or responsible.
Tristan Miller agreed.... well said 👍🏼
I work on myself everyday. I commend you. It is not easy, and it really takes trying to understand things from different perspectives, along with being honest about your own faults. ❤
@@tristanmiller9571 Right, and this was before school shootings by classmates were really even thought of and preceding 9/11 as well.
@SylviaPenguin What i'm saying is, don't underestimate the influence of personal psychopathic factors. In a note written by Eric, he mentions how he doesn't blame his father or mother at all, and that killing was just an enjoyable thing for him. What about their motives? To kill all the jocks? Well how hypocritical because their targets were completely RANDOM. Eric and Dylan were weak, pathetic cowards, pretending like they were defending the weak, when they really KILLED the defenseless.
I was replying to Tricialeigh's comment: "i just dont get it.. and if they were pissed at the jocks.. who they killed makes little to no sense ... "
@SylviaPenguin No see that's incorrect. I hate when people place blame entirely on environmental influences like "bullying". Yes, bullying is a very large contributor to overcontrolled hostility and inner rage, but by no means were Eric and Dylan a "special case" in terms of the amount of bullying they received. Both lived in their own personal fables, overthinking the uniqueness of the lives they endured, when in reality there were/still are children who have it much worse.
@MadMAn12gauge as for your second reply...i don't even know how to respond to that. you're making absolutely no sense. wtf does that have to do with anything?
no one can choose without influence...
I thought he was J.K. Simmons in the thumbnail.
totally agree with what the guy said about you cant really blame the parents
also i have wondered myself how te brothers lives and parenst lives went after the shooting - to think that their brothers will now be in their mid 30s ... but the parents never give interviews
I wonder why Erics parents haven't came forward about their sons actions
Spike 1984 probably because they want nothing to do with it anymore.
They were and are in SERIOUSLY deep denial, but this is a heart touching story. If you read about Eric’s parents’ reactions before Columbine and after they were seriously in deep deep deep denial. I mean I think the father blamed a psychologist for missing the fact that a “trench coat” was a dangerous thing to possess in 1999! I’ve worked with families like this and their denial level is insane and they deflect deflect deflect responsibility to all sorts of imaginary forces other than their families. The answer they give will always be unsatisfying and frustrating. My experience with families like this is that they will scream down a judge in open court refusing to accept evidence and once they are mollified and superficially agree with the judge or prosecutors or law enforcement they will leave the court room and claim it was all a deep state conspiracy against them. I’ve seen this countless times. So has every therapist, social worker, teacher, case worker and doctor. The only potential indicators for answers would include major systemic change.
I honestly think one potential solution is to JUDGE for yourself and call the BS out when you see it. Eric Harris and his parents made the world a much worse place and his parents, in their silence, continue to make the world a much more violent and horrible place and they are fully responsible for their actions and the only possible thing they can do is come forward after two decades and start telling the truth about their psychopathic, manipulative bully of a son. Until they do that they continue to perpetuate the cycle of violence. Eric’s pathetic excuse for a father constantly says how “hard” it is. He needs to wake up and feel intense guilt and pain. He has not done so and that’s the truth. If he wanted to make the world a better place he would have come out once in the past 20 years and spoken frankly, instead he chose to deny and avoid JUST LIKE HE DID WITH HIS SON. I pray that he and his wife can suffer the brief emotional pain that comes with self awareness and transform it into a greater sense of clarity for themselves and the public. We all deserve it and when they do that perhaps they will take up some of the evil that occurred and transform it into something meaningful.
You're kidding right? Over the years so much evidence has been made public, most importantly their journals and the infamous "basement tapes". In these items, it's clear that Eric was far more disturbed than Dylan, and that's really saying something because Dylan was a mess. The Harris family will never go public. I thought they might come out shortly after Dylan's mother did, once they had a chance to see what the public's reaction was. She would sort of test the waters for them. But it's been years since then, and still nothing. Re: the older brothers - don't know anything about the Harris brother but the Klebold brother was a drug addict way before the shooting so, God only knows what his fate was.
Eric’s parents have no obligation whatsoever to go to _any_ media outlet to say words (that thousands will pick apart and judge and analyze continuously) that they don’t fully understand themselves. There is nothing they can say that will ease any victims pain. There’s nothing they can say that will change what happened or prevent future attacks. The only thing that it will do- will cure some sick curiosity of people wanting to get closer to the killer’s minds.
Let them live the rest of their lives without scrutiny. Their one life on this earth has already been shattered for the rest of their lives until they die. Why would they have to open themselves up to more hate and scrutiny by addressing their mentally ill, murderous son? What will that do for _anyone_ ?? Nothing.
Sue Klebold is out there and she didn’t cause a revelation or peace on Earth. Just a bunch of people attacking her on videos when she begins to cry. And others are sympathetic towards her since the *MEDIA* portrayed Dylan as this suicidal, depressed, follower and Eric as the psychopathic leader... which is NOT TRUE!! Media spun that story way out of control to where people believed Dylan was just a mere follower of a master manipulator, when he was the first one to write about it. He wanted to go NBK with a girlfriend. He _settled_ for Eric!
So Eric’s parents do not have to go begging the public for sympathy when everyone knows they won’t get it. They do not owe anybody anything! They suffered/are suffering enough.
Ok I have a lot more to say but I’m sure you’re sick of reading my words LOL
@@CJLOVE23 Well said!
But I thought the Harrises left Colorado after the massacre?
They did... this guy is full of crap. He never met wayne
It's hard to know what's true and what's not, by all accounts they moved to Washington in 2000 but Sue Klebold has said she still see's the Harris's around the area.
I like how you're preaching about how people should be nice to everyone and at the same time you're telling me to shut the hell up. And yes, i DO know what it's like to be picked on because i was bullied in school. pointing fingers is the wrong way to go about it. those kids were 100% responsible for their own actions. they could have moved on with their lives and they could have risen above the people who bullied them but they took the coward's way out and 13 innocent people had to pay for it.
my heart goes out to all who were wounded....even parents of the killers and anyone who loved them. Sick people do sick things. Those of us who have had murdered loved ones must learn that control is something we dont have over anyone...not our children or the people they come into contact with. We must give them tools to deal with emotions..and pray they dont become prey.
he was retired at the time though
@robi2000
That´s what I am talking about...we are ALL good AND evil.
If we´re treated unfairly we tend to turn angry, if our anger doesn´t find relief, we tend to turn "evil".
@robi2000
And because everybody at his high school told him that, he went nuts and tried to kill everybody at his high school.
Which is actually strangely understandable to me.
They fucked him up, he killed them...it was wrong, but it was human.
@JohnnaCal hey i think thats a bit harsh like as you can see the dad is obviously effected for life take your comment else were
I agree with what you're saying but I wasn't demoralizing them. I was just expressing my sympathy for what their families had to go through and what they're STILL going through all because their selfish kids made a stupid mistake.
I completely agree with you.. I lived with horrible bullying in school but I knew HS is only a short time in my life and not worth all the stupidity of all the HS kids mean and cruel remarks.. i just dont get it.. and if they were pissed at the jocks.. who they killed makes little to no sense ...
@immastunnabby Really? Because I read an article about them meeting the Mausers in which Wayne seemed to come off very detached.
I'd like to hear more about how you talked to them.
morris even said that in gym eric was picked on but dylan not as much because he was a bigger guy.
This comment makes me think though-why then do we subject our children to this torture that has become known as 'high school'?
except, not.
I feel bad for their parents. Eric and Dylan brought shame on their entire families. They will never be able to live in peace after what their kids did. They were so fucking selfish.
Wally lamb is my principals father
Has this man ever known a teenager? They’re far from masterful manipulators and especially when an adult is paying attention or at least semi-conscious. They’re bad at lying , worse at remembering stories, and will make themselves look guilty for things they didn’t do by being moody and non-communicative.
Whoa
Wayne Harris was to blame
yup they said it many times in the journel they wanted to get back at the shit they got.. people who knew them agree.. they said themselves numerous timesduring the shooting. they were. they hung out with a large group of people.. but the people were the loser well not losers but they werent the popular people...
yeah DUH!! that is what i said.. before..
and yes i know this from experience, not to make an excuse for my behavoir but if my own family was as good as theirs having BOTH PARENTS i wouldnt be a peice of shit myself and a killer, i didnt have the luxury to have both parents, instead i have nobody and have been disregaurded by my family...So Yes this IS a Damn personal arguement here vs that bullshit comment and i hope u reconsider you thinking on that
Kevin and Byron deserve statue
Master manipulatives? I don't agree. They were very normal guys, just with a lot of rage inside. If you let that anger keep on boiling inside, you will also get more of hate. Hate and Anger go hand in hand towards destruction/killing!
Many things could have been done to prevent this from happening, but well, most didn't took warnings to serious, and then another bloody lesson learned and great grief of loss of both victims and killers.
Some people have to learn the "hard way".
same. i see you on all the sschool shooting vids. dont get cocky and start giving hints to what you might do. keep it on the low
Why is no one talking about their drug use & the occult connections of these kids?
It's like a cover up.
yikes.
yikes
They were pissed at the WORLD....that's why they did what they did
Now let's look at Danaerys Targaryen...
Im sorry I couldn't help myself.😉
you cant blame the parents either, but noone lisened to them so thats what happened, but more importantly isnt it alittle twisted how a kid can buy a gun no questions asked in the first place....
How many hours of community service did his dad have to do? I am in the air force and know that the father has to be punished for what their kids do while they are in the military
He had already retired several years before Columbine.
I had felt the way Eric and Dylan had but Eric and Dylan also killed inssent girls :( that made me cry
Well,it must have been hard for the parents,but how could you not know that your son had bombs,guns and ammunition hidden in his bedroom? I think his behavior might have given signs of his internal situation too. Were all of those things ignored? Maybe it could have been stopped if the parents paid a little more attention to them.
shut the hell up
you dont understand what its like to be the kid at school that gets picked on for being different, the world needs to learn a lesson, YOU BETTER ACCEPT EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU MEET AND BE NICE EVEN IF YOU DONT LIKE THIER APPERANCE OR SOMETHING LIKE THE COLUMBINE SHOOTING IS GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN.
it wasnt the kids fault, it was the schools, the parents, the world.
JUST BE KIND TO EVERYONE
thats not a hard task
LEARN FROM THIS,
no it was the shooters fault. that shit happens to everyone and not everyone is shooting up the schools.
@robi2000
Now, where did I say it was okay to shoot people?
So the US and their allies deserve no sympathie for bombing other countries as well?
Terrible things happen and somtimes "small" terrible things like bullying outsiders sum up to two of them running amok, that´s life as well.
i wish the father would speak out
Why?
@@CJLOVE23 to find out more of the sons up bringing.
@immastunnabby They should have done interviews to talk about their sons massacre, NOT hide behind their lawyers. Whats their life like now I wonder?
Sue Klebold has come forward and is now a mental health activist.
@@brycelandon6387 Sue Klebold is a lying manipulator and has used her book and her platform to change the narrative, and many, many things have come out that she didn’t tell the truth about, especially in her book. She is the reason that so many people blame the Harrisses and think she’s a victim.
In fact she was a victim before she used this terrible tragedy to elevate herself to some demi-saint and created the “Eric was the leader, Dylan was the follower” bullshit. In fact, NBK was Dylan’s idea, and he planned to do it with a girl first before he settled on Eric. They were both equally responsible and Sue Klebold has done a huge disservice to the world and it’s understanding of these things with her selfish, self-serving actions.
@MaskedReaper13 - Oh how brave you are acting all Tough behind your Mom's Computer where you know no-one can find you. Your Mom must be calling you, its way past your Bedtime.
this is bullshit and an oversight....family values come first and when they dont, you see murderers....Im tired of people feeling bad for the parents and families, and propaganda of "oh they were master manipulators" bullshit....Mothers know their sons.. and a fathers should know their sons if they arnt peices of shit to begin with, which that is a common situation, bad parenting and family creates this, and theres no remorse for the family of the killers, they failed as family members
MadMAn12gauge
godlike as fuck, whuddup
Yeah I no right, only in America...
he was depressed and manipulated by eric basicly, even their parents admitted tht at the last while he was under a massive influence from eric, sure, its not great when you do this, im not saying its rite, but dylan was just kinda dragged along.