Have you ever felt empty and disconnected? Share your thoughts and experiences with us in the comments! If you enjoy this video, you have to check out our next Avoidant Attachment video: ua-cam.com/video/nqlce10FyVU/v-deo.html
The first one though. “Make new friends” I can’t do that. I don’t like making new friends. Also I relate with this and you always figure out something about me that I didn’t see has a problems so thank you. And idk what to do about this but I’ll figure something out
I think this video is missing the part where "facing the problem" can actually make avoidant people feel overwhelemed with emotions and even more out of control. Knowing healthy ways to regulate all those negative emotions that may arise when you try to be more active in your life is very important too.
I experienced this a lot of times when I decided to confront it, I'd stutter, get angry then just turn that anger towards myself since I can't hurt others. They looked at me like I'm crazy
@@mikeekagame7372 yeees, it fuels my self sabotaging tendencies much more. I can't hurt people, and either out of spite (not wanting to be like my family who make it everyone's problem) or empathy, I always dissociate and it builds up inside but I lash out on myself... it's kinda a habit that I've done even before I was aware of such things.
This is so true! Thanks for making this comment. For years I've been struggling with this because of the emotional aspect. I never understood why I wasn't making any progress, I was facing all me fears everyday but it just felt horrible all the time. It's very important to learn to feel your body more, connect with it and learn to "stay" with the heavy emotions that might come up in stead of disconnect. I'm in this process right now and it's very hard, but for the first time in years I feel like I'm making progress and feeling more safe in my body.
That’s exactly what I am going through right now… I always wanted to make friends, connections and groups with people… and I end up feeling this empty void in my chest… as if I haven’t accomplished anything… and it has destroyed me and my mind… It gave me trust issues, anxiety, RSD, intrusive thoughts etc etc… Thank you so much Psi for making me aware of this condition…
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Your feelings are valid, and it's tough dealing with trust issues, anxiety, RSD, and intrusive thoughts. It's great that the video brought awareness to covert avoidance. Remember, you're not alone, and seeking support can make a difference. Stay strong, and there's hope for healing and growth ahead. 💕
What I find frustrating about this is that I'm well aware of it; what's problematic is that I know this but struggle to deal with it. A therapist once told me similar: that most people know their problems but fail to act on their solutions. Even with the numerous techniques I have to work against such things, it's still difficult. Yes, I've had my victories; but habits are tricky, elusive things that, seem, to want to perpetuate themselves. It's like being in an unhealthy relationship that keeps tricking you into, happily, staying.
Same. I know my problems but it takes so long to fix that you just give up and stay in the cycle. I feel like outside intervention could help a lot for this problem but you need to want to help yourself as well without giving up cause it takes too long.
this hits so hard. i’ve been rlly good at identifying what’s wrong w me mentally and what i deal w since i was 10. i have rlly good self awareness nearly all my mental diagnoses are bc i brought them up. im overly aware of this empty feeling i have. i know the exact causes, contributing factors, and exactly what i can do to make it better. yet, i just can’t. and therapy has always been useless for me, bc i already know everything the therapist tells me. i just can’t act on it. and i hate myself for it.
The truth is acceptance. Knowing yourself and dealing with the pain that you accept it. Maybe you are broken, maybe you are hurting, maybe it feels hopeless. Acceptance teaches that all of these things can be mended with love. Then you can finally learn to grow from those damaged roots.
"Feeling like your tired all the time, but can't make healthier choices, like going to bed earlier, or exercising regularly. Saying you're too busy to spend time with people, or attend to your relationships, when really you're just shutting everyone out." That hit hard, and relate so much to that. I been becoming aware of these deep seeded issues sabotaging myself, and it has been challenging for sure.
Coming from my own experience, journeying through life with a covert narcissistic mother and spouse has been a test of resilience, strength, and self-discovery. This experience led me through a maze of self-doubt, distortion of self-image, and at times, a profound sense of emptiness. However, it also led me to find my way out of the covert avoidance, a path that was not easy but was incredibly enlightening. I've learned that my feelings are valid and that it's okay to prioritize my well-being. Through mindfulness and breathing techniques, I've found an anchor in the storm, a quiet place where I can reclaim my sense of self. These practices have become my refuge, my sanctuary, my source of strength. They've helped me to reconnect with myself, to embrace my own worth, and to find my voice again. In the end, I've grown stronger, not despite these experiences, but because of them. I've learned that it's not just about surviving, but about thriving and blossoming in my journey. I share this not as a means to garner sympathy, but in hopes that my experience may resonate with someone else going through the same struggle and let them know that they are not alone.
Thank you for sharing your journey. Your resilience and self-discovery are truly inspiring. Remember, you are not alone in this. Sending you strength and support.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring journey! Your strength in overcoming challenges with a covert narcissistic mother and spouse is remarkable. Embracing mindfulness and self-discovery has been a source of strength and refuge. Your story resonates, offering hope and support to others. You are not alone, and your courage shines bright. Keep thriving and embracing your true self! 💕
How can I do the same? Please teach me. You seem like you have experienced the same thing I have. I really would like to learn how to be at peace with myself and accept myself...
Thank you so much for sharing! You've become an inspiration to me as I'm in a similar situation. Sometimes it's hard to keep going but I know that there's always hope.
I always told myself it’d get better after highschool... then college... a career... None of it worked, and the next goal post was retirement. I just couldn’t make it that long, so I started bikepacking to prepare to leave society altogether. Then I got frostbite while camping in winter, and eventually realized I hated what I was doing. I actually craved human connection, but was running away in fear of letting anyone in. But even though I knew what I needed to do to overcome my fear, I still couldn’t do it. Instead I spiraled into depression, so low that it came down to take action or die. I finally let someone in just enough that they helped me get professional help. That in turn gave me new traumas, but it did help save my life and put me back on track somewhat. I slowly started addressing things I should’ve addressed a long time ago. I have a long way to go still, and my actions make me live in fear each day - but those fears subside and help lift this crushing weight off my shoulders. There are things I can do today that I never would’ve been able to do a few years ago. It’s hard, but I feel more free than ever and finally have a positive outlook for my future.
I am finally aware of what has been holding me back since my childhood, and I know what caused it. The more I think about it, the more natural it sounds. Thank you for giving information about psychology, this would've never been something I would have actually been aware of otherwise.
Timestamps 1). What is covert avoidance 0:31 2). Example of covert avoidance 1:44 3). How to overcome covert avoidance 2:47 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
This is probably the first time a video from Psych2go relates a lot with me. I do have friends and somewhat a loving family, but when everyone is gone i just feel like i don't actually have no one or anything, so i constantly push aside everything to isolate myself and entertain with simple things alone because it gives a temporary feeling of happiness when in fact I'm just avoiding everything and everyone
I do the same. I can't be myself or relax unless I'm with someone I feel really safe with. I feel mostly contorted when I'm with other people, and I hate that. I wish I wasn't so conscious of people's reactions and not nervously reactive in return.
It's weird how something that you've been trying to find an answer to has an actual name... It's weird how this is apparently not something that's commonly known in our health care. I have been working on myself since I was 16, because I felt empty and wanted to understand that emptiness... I still do almost 14 years later, but I also came to my own conclusion that wanting excessive control over the world around me, was the thing that held me back from becoming and finding "me". I actually want to rewatch this vid, because it hasn't sunken in that there always was a name for the thing I struggled with XD Thanks for explaining and posting this!
I love The Crappy Childhood Fairy! And I love your videos too. I’ve used some to help my kids and their friends through some tough friendship dynamics. Kids really aren’t getting the support they need from counselors at school because what they say isn’t confidential and has created more tension between students, parents and teachers.
Thank you so much! Glad you love The Crappy Childhood Fairy and find our videos helpful for your kids and their friends. It's unfortunate that some schools lack confidential support for students. If there are any topic requests you would like us to cover more on. Feel free to share!
@@Psych2go i'm from the Netherlands. Can some one explain me this in Dutch, i can't find a good translation, but think i recocnaise something in this video
i can help u samen vatting: "door te opgevoed te worden onder het mon van vermijd afwijsing achterlaatheid en voorordelen dan blijf je dat doen door je hele leven en dan kun je je ongelukkig voelen terwel niemand dat kan zien het tegen gaan is door je patroon te vinden van het vermijden en er wel op in gaan.
I am literally falling short of words and honestly, I am not even sure if I it's a good thing or a bad thing as to how accurately it describes my situation and my life. I am stuck in this self-catering prison and it's been so long that I don't even know how to come out of it. I keep feeling like I need help and my therapist has also been trying to help me with this (and a restrictive eating disorder,which I developed as a destructive coping mechanism) but honestly, I am so scared to break out of the cycle since that's what I have known for so many years now. As I said, I am falling short of words because I am super overwhelmed and am not sure if this video is a sign or something. But I hope one day, maybe, things will change for the better.
For the past month, I’ve been dealing with this and I don’t know what was causing me to act this way so thank you for making this video to help others and me :)
Same here. Literally had no idea where I should start and it just gets worse. It’s really reassuring but at the same time suck to know there are people out there dealing with these same hollow feelings. Stay safe & healthy guys
Me too. I don't think I had childhood trauma myself (I had some prolonged minor stuff going on but seems kinda artificial, like an excuse) but I feel I have this thing exactly like mentioned.
Wow, I felt so exposed at the examples of this psychological issue. I’ve literally been avoiding my irl friends (that took a while to create btw), since I felt myself becoming vulnerable. I can’t really trust anyone, not even my own mother with certain situations, unless I reword them to sound less emotional. I know that if I allow my friends & family to join the fight with me against my intrusive thoughts, they will see another side of me. And, if they accept it, that will form a meaningful, emotional connection. However, if they don’t, and continue to judge it, I’ll feel bad. What makes it even more messed up is that regardless of the outcome, I will socially isolate myself until relationship evaporates a bit. What’s ironic is I can listen to EVERYONE, even a stranger’s deepest, darkest secrets and heal them, but will never allow myself to be healed by someone other than myself… and I take pride in it 🤷🏾♂️ darkness is cozy sometimes
The more I see these videos, the more I can relate myself. I feel like I know all the solutions but don't have energy to do it. Having unstable mental health and other problems making me suffocated. I don't have proper friends to share my problem with, I know blaming everyone and everything won't get me anywhere so I just shut myself down even though it's wrong. Thanks for making these videos, I'm self-awared but can't have the energy to fight. I hope everyone out there gets their desired help.
Ironic how I was about to work on my art (which I rarely do) but put it on hold in order to watch this video about how I apparently have covert avoidance. At the part where they even mention avoiding tasks you enjoy and showing a paint palette as an example, I glanced over at my sketchbook next to me.😅
Watching this video I finally broke and cried... I've never had any words for this My entire life going without knowing how to describe this Thank you Psych2go Thank you
We're so glad that you found the video relatable. If you don't mind sharing, how has covert avoidnace been for you? What type of things were you experiencing mentally?
@@Psych2go It's made me feel like I am broken many times in my life, I felt like I was ungrateful for what I had And I never really learnt to be my own person I'm slowly learning as I go But this particular part of myself has been so burried deep beneath surface level problems I have with myself that I never developed a language for it It feels like when you're a child and you don't know how to put your feelings into words And like you are sabotaging yourself by procrastinating even when you know you're gonna like what you plan on doing It's really difficult to explain still Sorry for the long text Thank you for the heart and reply psych2go ❤️ I always adore your videos and your content helps many people I hope you enjoy your day
Thank you for the detailed response. It sounds like you had this in you for a long time. That sounds rough... However, we're glad that the video was able to give you the words to describe what you're struggling with. I sincerely hope that you will be at your peace with your current struggles now that you have the knowledge of what it is. And thank you for watching our content. You have a great day as well!
Went though this for years and I agree facing your problems is the real game changer, but you need to give yourself the right to fail and forgive yourself when doing so, otherwise you go back to avoidance very quickly. That said, facing your problems helps you see other people as they are, and makes you realize how much conflict and grief there can be between people 😐
I just love this channel so much. It's so smart, polite, loving, caring, and it doesn't avoid any topics some consider taboos. It's one of THE channels I watch and it always helps me during hard times and I'm sure it will continue doibg so through the rest of my puberty. Thank you'all.
That's exactly how I feel , outside looking in , watching everyone arround me in life .. withdrawal yep , procrastination mm , goals no celebration pure so spot on .. try n break cycle, sounds good , reframing is another good thing I have learnt x I am work In progress !! 😂❤❤❤❤❤❤ thank you so much ..
You may also want to look into depersonalization and derealization. I had a medication change that resulted in me having an INTENSE dissociative experience that lasted months. I would lose time, feel like I didnt exist, not be able to say why I was inexplicably an hour late to something and didnt know what I was doing between the times when I left my house and got to where I was going. I forgot to take the new dose for a few days and was able to connect the dots when I started to feel things in my body again instead of just experiencing things happening to me that I seemed to have no control over. Now I find this happens mostly after I've had an intense emotional trigger or trauma (I also have BPD and periodically experience extreme emotional disregulation/meltdowns), I'll be an emotional and energy vacuum the next day/for a few days. Awake but staring at the wall in bed, no motivation, no energy, no feelings. I had another "aha" moment connecting the two recently (Ive always just been baffled that I can go from All The Feels to I Feel Nothing SO FAST. It used to be a relief but recently the emotional avoidance has become oppressive. Thankfully, once I have the "OH IM DISSOCIATING" moment it almost immediately goes away. Im sorry to hear youre struggling, but Psych2Go and some other mental health providers on youtube (Psychology in Seattle is fun and Dr. Honda uses reality tv as case studies, which is fascinating) have great free resources on derealization, depersonalization, trauma and dissociation
So relatable. I wanted to have a lot of friends but i don't get along with them. I distanced myself from everyone. I was bullied and discriminated. I grew up observing people, i wasn't able to do things i wanted as a kid. No matter how much people compliment my singing now. I still feel empty. I'm heartbroken but i had to go through it alone. Now im afraid to even get close to someone. My childhood is fucked up, it affected my teenage years. Now i had to go through the hardships of being an adult. Im already 20 but deep inside i still feel like a child with unfulfilled desires.
Thank you so much for this video! I’m currently going through something that I even can’t explain. I definitely resonated with this video, and am able to understand my feelings more because of it. It’s like the universe knew I needed to see this video.
Wow, what a beautifully crafted and insightful video! It's amazing how it delves into the concept of covert avoidance, shedding light on an elusive and deep-seated form of avoidance that many might not even be aware of. The way it connects childhood experiences and their impact on our emotional development is truly eye-opening. I can definitely relate to some of the examples of covert avoidance mentioned in the video. It's incredible to see how these avoidance patterns can hold us back from forming meaningful connections and pursuing our dreams. The idea of taking control of our lives and facing our fears head-on is both challenging and empowering. The experts' advice on overcoming covert avoidance through active coping and making conscious choices really resonated with me. Changing our behavior and reframing our perspectives may not come easy, but it's undoubtedly worth the effort to build a more fulfilling life. Thank you for sharing this valuable content. It has given me a lot to reflect on, and I'm sure it will inspire many others to take steps toward breaking free from avoidance patterns and embracing a more meaningful life. Keep up the fantastic work, and I look forward to more thought-provoking videos from you!
That's exactly what I'm going through... It's crazy that I feel like I didn't leave my life, and for a long time I saw myself in outsider perspective, i didn't feel like I was in control or making the decisions... I was just going and living and avoiding everything and everyone... The day before yesterday I was crying bc of this, I just didn't know how to change that! and although it might sound easy, trust me it is not! So thank you so much for this video!
Interesting and relatable, often I forget what I'm avoiding when I feel it, but I think it's unfulfilled love in my case, or the toxic relationships I had.
Can you make a video on communicative issues in people with ADHD and how to overcome them? People seem to have a general understanding of what ADHD is, but I don't think a whole lot of people know that the condition can bleed into almost every aspect of your life - including your communicative ability. As someone with ADHD, I struggle with finding the right words to say and articulating them a lot of the time. Either my brain completely draws a blank as to what to say next or it moves way too fast for me to process and then deletes the words from my memory before I can even say them. This, combined with my crippling social anxiety and deep-seated fear of saying the wrong things and being judged for it, can make talking to people a very difficult, sometimes even PAINFUL, experience that I don't think is talked about enough in videos discussing ADHD symptoms/struggles. Sometimes, it's so difficult to speak that I may even be on the verge of tears for no other reason when I try to. I feel like a video talking about verbal struggles in ADHD would not only give viewers a better understanding of ADHD, but help OTHERS who struggle with communication as a result of the disorder feel less alone in their struggles.
Wow. I had been thinking a lot about this lately and was really starting to think about how I feel like a powerless spectator in my own life. I had already started to realize that I needed to take ownership of this and course correct it (and had already started to thankfully❤), so this video couldn't have come at a more pointed time. It's cool to have this stuff explained to me and to know that I (probably) struggle with covert avoidance and to put a name to it. (also I REALLY loved your solutions offered!😍😍) Thank you.❤
The times I feel left out is watching my favorite UA-camrs being friends with each other on their videos and talking about stuff. I just always wanted to be a part of their “friendship web” like feeling belonged to a group.
Its *vitally* important to know the origin of not only why we are avoidant, but also the origin of the negative emotions that arise when we are faced with addressing the things we've been avoiding... There are many wounded parts of ourselves that we've pushed aside at different parts in our life due to trauma. But the tricky thing is, that pushing aside is what helped us to survive those things, psychologically speaking. We must understand and embrace those "forgotten" or ignored parts of ourselves in order to heal them, setting them free to engage in the here & now in healthy ways - leading to a sense of contentment and wholeness - to feel that you are not only alive but living 💙
everytime i watch your videos i cry because i always somehow relate to something in them😭. didn't even realize this applies to me, but i guess it does. i always loved my mom, but being the child of a stress endusing mom who doesn't understand the meaning of a break as a child kind of broke me. at first i was happy i was making her happy by winning academic awards, but soon enough when i wanted a break my mom would flip out and thats when it caused me a lot of realization and a long time depression just leaving elementary. ive made a lot of good friends but being overly aware of my surroundings i could tell i never was a first choice friend for anyone (i have a 5+ filled friend group). that really hurt me because i felt unwanted (and yes i did try and go out there to find more friends except everyone already had their to go) but i never really told my friends because i just wanted to take in the moments i spend with them and not cause problems. (cried a lot silently for two years, still never told them BUT am trying too :) ) still am trying to navigate my life because secretly im very secluded. i know not everyones perfect and everyone has their own problems but sometimes its just tiring dealing with people
I feel like I'm going through this really heavily in my late 20s. Sometimes it feels like I got traumatized by the relationships i tried to build throughout my young adulthood that didn't end all that well. I feel like I haven't been willing to do the same things I used to, like I don't have the same motivation or drive. Sometimes I feel like I hit a point where nothing I could choose to do even felt satisfying because i never really got what I wanted despite how hard I worked. Now, my life isn't bad and objectively it's in the best place it ever has been. But everything I achieved still doesn't feel meaningful. I suppose looking at what i might be avoiding is valuable advice.
Oh shit, this is exactly the thing I've discovered about myself in the past few days. Like word for word. Living through 3rd perspective of pleasing other people, not for myself, basing my choices in life on fear, not on what I actually want and just feeling like my life is lacking, not looking like me, leading me to feel empty. Shit. They got a name for everything these days, don't they. And I've even traced it back to being about control. This is some next level synchronicity. The tips were not too helpful, but I will find my own ways to live more fulfilling life, through therapy and inner reflection. Here are some things I really want to do, but am too afraid: - start a podcast - talk to more people, be more open, myself, goofy and make more friends hopefully - do a research project/paper on my own mind's psychology
Jesus Christ I feel called out. I don't think I have any childhood trauma though, for me it looks like it was "staying home due to covid, missing my friends" and now in college, I didn't find anyone to connect with properly and all my school friends are in different parts of the country all year long. Even though I'm actively working on myself bit by bit, this emptiness just eats me away, and sometimes that feeling is too strong to ignore. I've tried making friends online, but its not the same. I don't give enough time to my hobbies as of late, instead focus on playing games to seek someone to talk to. I've been taught to say "yes" to everything from a very little age, and now it comes back to haunt me at times. I hope I get better with time.
What're some other things that could cause this (besides major psychological problems, like depression level)? This video explains my day-to-day life perfectly, but I shouldn't have any trauma from childhood. I mean, my father had anger management issues due to his degrading mental health that kept getting worse because he was keeping his other relationship a secret from my mother, but it didn't bother me a whole lot. Also, I have school and my parents have long workdays, so I've never had much time to be with them on the weekdays, but we still spent a lot of healthy family time together with my siblings on the weekends and on breaks when I was a kid. I've never felt lonely or neglected. I always thought that many of my classmates had it worse with their families, at least (from what they told me). All in all, I was a happy child. So if anyone reads this and has some extensive knowledge about psychology, tell me; is there a possibility that I have trauma from my childhood, that I am not aware of? Or could covert avoidance be caused by another factor in my life? I'd really like to figure this out and cut to the root of the problem. Thank you in advance, whoever answers.
We talk a lot about "childhood trauma" and "abuse" when we talk about the behaviors we've carried into adulthood. Ultimately, those behaviors are just skills we picked up along the way to cope with our environment and get our needs met despite our circumstances. If ever it was easier to decide everything was okay in order to meet your needs for affection and attention or to avoid rocking the boat, then those behaviors served you in childhood or adulthood and became the way you know how to handle stressful situations. All anyone needs is a prolonged situation that made it difficult to get your needs met to influence your skills and behaviors. I don't have extensive knowledge outside of my own 8 year journey in therapy and an associate's in human services, so I couldn't tell you anything specific, but if you feel like you're struggling, I'll always recommend talk therapy if you can get it.
@@Leafpool12345 Yeah I've thought about the possibility of a mild c-ptsd (if that's even the right term in this context -- or if it's even an official diagnosis yet...). Trauma is so often subconscious. I might talk to a therapist once I get out of school and have more time to do so. This thing is kind of making me schizoid, after all. Anyways, thank you for taking the time to reply!
In my case, i was emotionally neglected by my parents (i concluded that they both dont know how raise a child) and have to grow up faster. I experienced rejection, abandonment and betrayal by what would most consider trivial things (im just particularly sensitive about stuff because i never really know how to handle my emotions). Now, i instinctively avoid things that i perceive to harm me in some ways in the near future to protect myself. I think i also have adhd? But im just self diagnosing it especially since ive checked mark most of the symptoms but havent have the money to see a specialist (and i live in a country where these specialist are very rare).
i deeply relate to this. but everytime i try to ask myself what's the problem and how to resolve, i always end up confused and not knowing what's wrong. so i just started ignoring stuff. Dont care didnt ask. No need for a solution if there's no problem :) Pretty good at dealing with inconsequential unnecessary life scenarios i tell you that. extra points if you can be funny too! its only a matter of time before you gotta deal with yourself and make things better for yourself.
I completely understand where you're coming from. It can be frustrating and confusing when trying to identify the problem and find a resolution. Ignoring things might seem like a temporary escape, but deep down, we know there's a need for self-reflection and growth. You've got a talent for dealing with inconsequential life scenarios with humor, and that's a valuable skill! Laughter can be a great coping mechanism, but remember, there's a time to address deeper issues too. Facing ourselves and working towards personal growth can be challenging, but it's essential for our well-being. Take your time, and when you're ready, know that there's support available to help you on your journey. You deserve to make things better for yourself, and with determination, you can do it! Keep your sense of humor intact, and stay strong! 😄💪
@@PsychRealmExplorers thanks for the kind words friend. I agree with everything you have said. Looking around, my peers, they got it all worked out for them lmao. they express themselves so easily makes you wonder how do they do that fr.. so effortlessly vulnerable... and here i am, overthinking everything. it frightens me when i feel like i can't control something which isnt that of a deal to others. this has unfortunately shown bad efffects like my friends calling me apathetic (props to them for being honest tho. very hard to find them nowadays) or cold, immature (cuz the bad timing of the jokes) when the main problem is me not knowing how to.. i understand that escapism just makes the problem worse. Maybe its not as hard as i make it to be.. either way im up for a good challenge yeah :)
Dang. So that's why I've been feeling empty. It's like I done a lot of great things and I have good friends, yet I feel hollow, incomplete, like something's always missing. The thing that's missing is happiness. I usually pretend to be happy and satisfied with my life and other stuff, but... I don't feel true happiness. I've become a kid with low self-esteem, low self-confidence. I've been told that I'm amazing, I'm beautiful, yet... I don't feel like it. Whenever, I speak up, I feel like other people will yell, like why am I even talking. An ugly person like me, an annoying person, a nobody. I feel like everyone will judge me, so I decided to blur into the crowd.. to avoid any of that. I thought it'd be better, but here I am feeling empty, questioning my reason for being alive.
this made me feel so understood. I would get so angry at myself for procrastinating things and avoiding doing things, even though i know it will make me feel better. now i see that that was just my way of coping. and i can change that.
These are really scary stuff for me but yes I do this and I don’t want to do it anymore. Thank you psych to go your softness in delivering these video is very appreciated. Facing these things isn’t easy
For anyone who identifies with this a lot, and despairs over learning to get past it--be aware that if avoidance has significantly affected your life in a negative way, you may have actual Avoidant Personality Disorder. Talking to a well-trained therapist could change your life. Just as the video says, avoiding your avoidance won't make it go away, so you might as well face it. It's not a one-day thing. Push yourself forward a little more *every* day. Don't look at the mountain, look at the footpath. Take only the next step. Good therapy can help you do it faster.
Everyday, Psych2go knows how to make people better, an interesting video which is like no one realise this and just prejudging without thinking. Big thank you !! ❤😀
Another thing that can make you feel empty is something called SSRI's, which if im not mistaken, is a form of antidepressants that sort of just numbs emotions, getting rid of the bad with the good, so to say.
You're absolutely right. SSRI's are a type of antidepressant medication that aims to balance serotonin levels in the brain. While they can be helpful for managing depression and anxiety, they may have side effects, including emotional numbing or feeling emotionally disconnected. It's essential to remember that everyone's experience with medication can vary, and what works for one person may not work the same for another. If you're feeling emotionally numb or empty due to medication, it's crucial to communicate with your healthcare provider. They can help adjust the dosage or explore other treatment options that suit your individual needs. Taking care of your mental health is essential, and finding the right balance is a process that may require some trial and error. Open communication with your healthcare provider will ensure you get the support and treatment that best suits you. Remember, you deserve to feel emotionally healthy and fulfilled, and there are resources available to help you achieve that. Take care! 💕
I think it's pretty safe to say that I've been avoiding cooking lately. It used to be something that I really enjoyed - even on occasions when my recipe didn't turn out super tasty - because it felt good to be creative and to nourish myself. But ever since getting out of a relationship with a really toxic partner who used to treat me like shit anytime I cooked something he didn't like (regardless of its actual quality), AND being recently diagnosed with Crohn's, trying to cook new recipes has become such a source of stress that I struggle to think of even one new recipe I've cooked since being free of my ex. I think what I'm going to do now is FIRST to make an entry in my therapy journal so I know to focus on this with my therapist at my next appointment. Then I'm going to select a recipe - something that will be good for my condition and that I've never made before - and write down on my calendar the date that I'm going to cook it. Lastly, I'm going to start inviting friends over to cook WITH ME. My ex was a control freak who HATED having me in the kitchen when he was cooking, and resented being asked for help of any kind when I was the one making dinner. I need to remind myself that most people are not emotionally abusive like he was, and I am absolutely free to form new, positive associations with cooking.
@Psych2go thank you for making this channel. I have been noticing that when I’m struggling with questions that hasn’t been answered, you tend to have the answer or/and solution to it. I was surprised and happy that you spoke about Convert Avoidance because I was feeling lost and empty for about 3 years. I have spoken to my psychologist and psychiatrist but I was told that it could mean I’m lonely. I tried to socialize more but I still felt the same and I couldn’t understand why. Now that you post this video I now know what is happening to myself and I have a good idea on what I want to tell my psychiatrist. Thank you soooooo,much 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 I’m still going to have issues facing my problems but I know that I can face it.😅
I was scrolling through Facebook, and it feels this hit directly out of nowhere! Everything that is explained of Covert Avoidance is what I'm feeling all this time without knowing about it. I feel that my past traumas hold my feet together and don't allow me to move on. I have many achievements, but I lack a sense of fullfilment with whatever I do. I also tend to avoid social gatherings as much as possible because I'm an introvert. My social battery deplets fast depending on the situation. It's irritating, and I struggle with it almost daily :(
My whole life.. low energy, always late by atleast 5-10mins, always having my reasons, low self-esteem, procrastination till just before deadline, preferred isolation during weekends but i thought it's normal. Some of these symptoms increased during last few months and thats when i actually noticed and realised its not normal and thought maybe its anxiety..but its covert avoidance 😅 Strange but i never had any childhood trauma as far as i remember. Only low self confidence throughout my life. Thanks for this video, the information helps. 👍🏻
Trauma doesn't have to be big. Trauma can come from very small but very numerous events where you weren't valued in some way. Such as parents who frequently dismiss your opinions and emotional reactions when you're growing up. This can lead to lack of self-confidence because you've been taught that your opinions and emotions are usually wrong.
@@nickjsky1 Nothing comes to my mind right now but ...My parents weren't forceful but I always pretended that I had the same opinion as theirs..I don't do this anymore Thanks, I'll try to remember if there were any such incidents as you have mentioned.
No. I'm just alone. This is my curse. Every other issue I've solved myself. But loneliness is the only thing I require someone else's input to fix. And no one is willing. Maybe I'm just a terrible person, and I've deserved all this suffering. But what did I do that was so terrible that 20+ years of loneliness was justified? I'm tired of being tired of being alone... and I just want someone to wake up too
Yes, I realise I love indulging myself into entertainments and different kinds of attachments since I was little. I thought I was happy back then while actually I was just seeking temporary relief. Symtoms included placating to others, I needed constant recognitions. True, once I was emotionally attached to one another I had to withdraw immediately, it's like I had to recharge myself. For a whole year in senior secondary form, I tried to spend time alone avoiding my classmates, guess I'd been tired of staying in terrified status. Last but not least, thank you for helping me identify this subtle psychological issue, it's small yet significant! Hope more ppl identify it if they have!
I never knew it had a name. I've said for a very very long time that although I've grown better as an adult at pretending I'm fine and smiling and doing all the things that normal people do......I've never felt connected with people. I've always called it simply sever social anxiety and it's that too but.....I've never been able to connect on any level other then superficial with people. Im the "oh she's sweet" person, but never the "I wanna hang out with her" person. The image you had of the glass box. I've used that to try and explain to someone once what was wrong with me. That I was inside a glass box looking out. I could talk to and interact with people, but never touch them, fully understand them....be understood.. I was told me I was being dramatic and that I was fine.
The notification to this video came just in time, and here I am sobbing at every little true detail about myself. You say I should stop avoiding my problems and ask myself of they're actually problems, I've been doing this for a while now and believe me I am only getting worse. I am really tired.
Wow this is exactly how I behave. I feel so lonely most times but I avoid hanging around people. I procrastinate a lot even with things I know I’m suppose to do. I really wish I knew how to make friends and actually keep them. I feel so sad. I feel so down, when I’m in a relationship I turn to be clingy because that person becomes my everything and I always end up getting played and hurt. I just hate my life 😢
I think you have diagnosed me. I am trying to get into my art/craft things again. I don't have the energy to go out. I am ok in bed. I want to be left alone. But I feel lonely now I am rid of a few narcissists. Thank you for all your help and support and love ❤
Thanks for sharing your experience. How has your life een since you decided to cut out people who are narcissistic? Has the art/craft been helping you not feel alone?
@@Psych2go Getting rid of narcissists is a relief. I can't get much done yet. Thank you so much your channel is exerlent. I appreciate all your work to help me. 👍💖
Glad to hear that cutting off gave you some relief. I sincerely wish you the best in your artistic endeavors and that you'll be able to do more art/crafts when you're able!
this explains the life of adults. hence the words, "childhood trauma". yet this still explains me. im just 14. not sure if anybody has heard of this, theres a mental disorder called Misophonia. hearing related. look it up for more details. i was diagnosed a year ago but ive had it since i was 10. my parents have tortured me and taken advantage of my issue. now, 4 years of trauma later, in 8th grade, i have an overwhelming amount of work to do. even for people my age. everytime i get bad scores for my tests, my parents ask me to tell me if i have an issue.i have an issue, i dont have time, its too much for me. i never speak up.i always remain silent. im in tears just writing this, nobody seems to understand my situation and tell it to my parents, there are countless incidents of me going to slice my neck and making myself bleed. yet still nobody notices and nobody understands. i wanna give up, this has gotten too much for me to handle.
But I don't know how!!! I say yes to every invitation, to every social gathering, to every bit of chaos in my life, I try to give up as much control as I can, but then I'm suddenly called "indecisive". 😢 I want to do so much, but it is like I have a fog in my head, that holds me down, and as much as I want to, I can't escape it.
You say to face the problem head on but I don't see a way to do that, the anxiety that comes with even thinking about it is so great that the only thing I can do really is to just distract myself with something else. If the problem comes to me then maybe I can deal with it, but not if I have to go and address it myself
Please help someone, please. This is the first time I'm sharing this with anyone. I have tears in my eyes while writing it. Last year in April, I told my family and everyone a very big lie about my employment in a very prestigious government sector. I actually couldn't quality by just 2 marks. I was preparing for it since 2018 remaining unemployed. I didn't know why I lied, but it made everyone very happy and my family told all my relatives about it. I didn't have guts to tell them the truth. The lie kept on going for many years until April,2023. Because I was not getting my joining letter. So I made a fake joining letter and lied about that also. I'm feeling so so terrible . Day before yesterday I shifted to a new city for the job that doesn't exist. My family is happy for my new journey. I just don't know what to do, I can't tell them the truth. What do I do? Please help someone. I'm in severe depression and anxiety. Please please help.
I’m so sorry you are in this situation. It sounds like for whatever reason you were seeking or needing validation from those you love and respect. As much as I wish a lie was not involved it is. My desire for you is that you will realize you are not defined or valued because of your job, title or social standing. You are uniquely designed and can succeed in whatever industry you desire to. The people who truly love and accept you will embrace you to gain better understanding of your choice. Ask yourself why you felt you needed to take this drastic step to impress others when you clearly are enough. Set a deadline to come clean to free yourself from the lie. Find an occupation that gives you purpose and peace. Accept yourself now because your worthy and valuable now. Best wishes.
@@souledout3239 Hey! I spoke the truth to everyone day before yesterday. It was definitely very relaxing at first, but the feeling of guilt and shame has come upon me. The feeling of letting everyone down and being a failure. I seem to have lost my confidence in myself that I once had very much. How do I get out this feeling?
I 100% relate to this, I have been trying to put a label to these things, for like three years now, I just wanted to know what was wrong with me and why I avoid people, situations and feelings. It has destroyed my relationships with people to the extent that I don’t even have friends, I only talk to my family and like 3 of my course mates(I’m in University)….I just end up ruining relationships, even when these people are wonderful people…I feel so bad for myself. I’m very happy I got to know about this, this is the first step, now I know I’m not alone in this. Thank you very Psych2go.
The people in my comments are making me feel like im not alone, this sucks but at least i know im not the only one with this. I feel so aware of what im doing, yet i dont want to do anything to help myself, its more comfortable living a life without any risks or way of things going wrong.
There's a bit by Alan Watts on this: "The only way to handle danger is to face it. When you don't, when you start getting frightened of it you project unto it a ghost of anxieties and fantasies that aren't real. And that's the real danger, that you'll be harmed by the ghost of a problem that isn't really there. And that's why when you meet one of these ghosts, you must walk straight into it... And it will disappear."
Thank you, this gave me a better understanding of myself. But it will be difficult to feel my feelings the way I used to as a child. I always feel like I don't feel the actual emotions I display in front of others, it's like if my brain knows what it should be feeling and I'm just automatically acting, but it's not how I truly feel and/or I don't feel that emotion in the same intensity as I show. I often feel a small presence of emotion but I exaggerate my facial expressions and laughs even when I'm by myself. I have a lot of baggage, when I felt sad as a kid I kept wishing I was apathetic so that way I couldn't be sad anymore. I can still feel strong emotions of sadness, it's one of my strongest emotions even if it's getting more numb, I still cry my eyeballs out sometimes. Fear is definitely what has been causing this because I know I'm scared of feeling hurt and sad again. I hold a lot of rage inside me but it's getting more numb as well because the more I care less about the things and people that I love and/or make me happy, the less I care about what I want. So there won't be anything to be mad at if there is nothing that I love enough to defend. Because what I want and/or love dosen't matter, all that matters is to make sure I'm not sad anymore. So the only thing that is keeping me from being completely consumed by fear is the rage, I still have enough love for myself that it won't allow me give up on feeling true happiness again.
Thank you psych2go this is something I’ve struggled with and I feel like it’s kind a fate that this video would come out on my birthday, I know it wasn’t intentional but thanks for the birthday gift I greatly appreciate it
Have you ever felt empty and disconnected? Share your thoughts and experiences with us in the comments! If you enjoy this video, you have to check out our next Avoidant Attachment video: ua-cam.com/video/nqlce10FyVU/v-deo.html
Yes and u guys make it better
All the Damm time my dear comfort youtuber
@@lazy-san0001same
𝙮𝙤𝙤𝙤𝙞
The first one though. “Make new friends” I can’t do that. I don’t like making new friends. Also I relate with this and you always figure out something about me that I didn’t see has a problems so thank you. And idk what to do about this but I’ll figure something out
I think this video is missing the part where "facing the problem" can actually make avoidant people feel overwhelemed with emotions and even more out of control. Knowing healthy ways to regulate all those negative emotions that may arise when you try to be more active in your life is very important too.
Oh my god this is too real
I experienced this a lot of times when I decided to confront it, I'd stutter, get angry then just turn that anger towards myself since I can't hurt others. They looked at me like I'm crazy
@@mikeekagame7372 yeees, it fuels my self sabotaging tendencies much more.
I can't hurt people, and either out of spite (not wanting to be like my family who make it everyone's problem) or empathy, I always dissociate and it builds up inside but I lash out on myself... it's kinda a habit that I've done even before I was aware of such things.
The whole solution part seemed very vague to me
This is so true! Thanks for making this comment. For years I've been struggling with this because of the emotional aspect. I never understood why I wasn't making any progress, I was facing all me fears everyday but it just felt horrible all the time. It's very important to learn to feel your body more, connect with it and learn to "stay" with the heavy emotions that might come up in stead of disconnect. I'm in this process right now and it's very hard, but for the first time in years I feel like I'm making progress and feeling more safe in my body.
That’s exactly what I am going through right now… I always wanted to make friends, connections and groups with people… and I end up feeling this empty void in my chest… as if I haven’t accomplished anything… and it has destroyed me and my mind… It gave me trust issues, anxiety, RSD, intrusive thoughts etc etc… Thank you so much Psi for making me aware of this condition…
I feel you
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Your feelings are valid, and it's tough dealing with trust issues, anxiety, RSD, and intrusive thoughts. It's great that the video brought awareness to covert avoidance. Remember, you're not alone, and seeking support can make a difference. Stay strong, and there's hope for healing and growth ahead. 💕
@@PsychRealmExplorers Thank you very much! I'll try to persevere this rough patch in my life.
@@EnderWasVerified no thank you for sharing your experience and thank you for still trying and living even got through a lot you deserve the best
wth psi isnt even real how can it be thanked lmao.
What I find frustrating about this is that I'm well aware of it; what's problematic is that I know this but struggle to deal with it. A therapist once told me similar: that most people know their problems but fail to act on their solutions. Even with the numerous techniques I have to work against such things, it's still difficult. Yes, I've had my victories; but habits are tricky, elusive things that, seem, to want to perpetuate themselves. It's like being in an unhealthy relationship that keeps tricking you into, happily, staying.
Same. The solution is too difficult for me
Same. I know my problems but it takes so long to fix that you just give up and stay in the cycle. I feel like outside intervention could help a lot for this problem but you need to want to help yourself as well without giving up cause it takes too long.
this hits so hard. i’ve been rlly good at identifying what’s wrong w me mentally and what i deal w since i was 10. i have rlly good self awareness nearly all my mental diagnoses are bc i brought them up. im overly aware of this empty feeling i have. i know the exact causes, contributing factors, and exactly what i can do to make it better. yet, i just can’t. and therapy has always been useless for me, bc i already know everything the therapist tells me. i just can’t act on it. and i hate myself for it.
The truth is acceptance. Knowing yourself and dealing with the pain that you accept it. Maybe you are broken, maybe you are hurting, maybe it feels hopeless. Acceptance teaches that all of these things can be mended with love. Then you can finally learn to grow from those damaged roots.
"Feeling like your tired all the time, but can't make healthier choices, like going to bed earlier, or exercising regularly. Saying you're too busy to spend time with people, or attend to your relationships, when really you're just shutting everyone out." That hit hard, and relate so much to that. I been becoming aware of these deep seeded issues sabotaging myself, and it has been challenging for sure.
Coming from my own experience, journeying through life with a covert narcissistic mother and spouse has been a test of resilience, strength, and self-discovery. This experience led me through a maze of self-doubt, distortion of self-image, and at times, a profound sense of emptiness. However, it also led me to find my way out of the covert avoidance, a path that was not easy but was incredibly enlightening.
I've learned that my feelings are valid and that it's okay to prioritize my well-being. Through mindfulness and breathing techniques, I've found an anchor in the storm, a quiet place where I can reclaim my sense of self. These practices have become my refuge, my sanctuary, my source of strength. They've helped me to reconnect with myself, to embrace my own worth, and to find my voice again.
In the end, I've grown stronger, not despite these experiences, but because of them. I've learned that it's not just about surviving, but about thriving and blossoming in my journey. I share this not as a means to garner sympathy, but in hopes that my experience may resonate with someone else going through the same struggle and let them know that they are not alone.
Thank you for sharing your journey. Your resilience and self-discovery are truly inspiring. Remember, you are not alone in this. Sending you strength and support.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring journey! Your strength in overcoming challenges with a covert narcissistic mother and spouse is remarkable. Embracing mindfulness and self-discovery has been a source of strength and refuge. Your story resonates, offering hope and support to others. You are not alone, and your courage shines bright. Keep thriving and embracing your true self! 💕
How can I do the same? Please teach me. You seem like you have experienced the same thing I have. I really would like to learn how to be at peace with myself and accept myself...
As an adult still trying to overcome the trama of her narc mother, you give me hope! This video definitely hits hard.
Thank you so much for sharing! You've become an inspiration to me as I'm in a similar situation. Sometimes it's hard to keep going but I know that there's always hope.
I always told myself it’d get better after highschool... then college... a career... None of it worked, and the next goal post was retirement. I just couldn’t make it that long, so I started bikepacking to prepare to leave society altogether. Then I got frostbite while camping in winter, and eventually realized I hated what I was doing. I actually craved human connection, but was running away in fear of letting anyone in. But even though I knew what I needed to do to overcome my fear, I still couldn’t do it. Instead I spiraled into depression, so low that it came down to take action or die. I finally let someone in just enough that they helped me get professional help. That in turn gave me new traumas, but it did help save my life and put me back on track somewhat. I slowly started addressing things I should’ve addressed a long time ago. I have a long way to go still, and my actions make me live in fear each day - but those fears subside and help lift this crushing weight off my shoulders. There are things I can do today that I never would’ve been able to do a few years ago. It’s hard, but I feel more free than ever and finally have a positive outlook for my future.
How old were you when you turned over this new leaf?
@@colinkamoda9502 like 25
I am finally aware of what has been holding me back since my childhood, and I know what caused it. The more I think about it, the more natural it sounds. Thank you for giving information about psychology, this would've never been something I would have actually been aware of otherwise.
Timestamps
1). What is covert avoidance 0:31
2). Example of covert avoidance 1:44
3). How to overcome covert avoidance 2:47
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
As always, thank you :)
@@Psych2go not a problem happy to help
@@Psych2go You can always put the time stamps in the description.
It's a 5 minute video.
@@ajscout594they do 😭
This is probably the first time a video from Psych2go relates a lot with me. I do have friends and somewhat a loving family, but when everyone is gone i just feel like i don't actually have no one or anything, so i constantly push aside everything to isolate myself and entertain with simple things alone because it gives a temporary feeling of happiness when in fact I'm just avoiding everything and everyone
I do the same. I can't be myself or relax unless I'm with someone I feel really safe with. I feel mostly contorted when I'm with other people, and I hate that. I wish I wasn't so conscious of people's reactions and not nervously reactive in return.
relate
Raise your hand if you love Psyc2go! ❤🙋♀️
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Aww, thank you so much for your support! We love you all! What was your favorite video?
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It's weird how something that you've been trying to find an answer to has an actual name... It's weird how this is apparently not something that's commonly known in our health care. I have been working on myself since I was 16, because I felt empty and wanted to understand that emptiness... I still do almost 14 years later, but I also came to my own conclusion that wanting excessive control over the world around me, was the thing that held me back from becoming and finding "me". I actually want to rewatch this vid, because it hasn't sunken in that there always was a name for the thing I struggled with XD Thanks for explaining and posting this!
I love The Crappy Childhood Fairy! And I love your videos too. I’ve used some to help my kids and their friends through some tough friendship dynamics. Kids really aren’t getting the support they need from counselors at school because what they say isn’t confidential and has created more tension between students, parents and teachers.
Thank you so much! Glad you love The Crappy Childhood Fairy and find our videos helpful for your kids and their friends. It's unfortunate that some schools lack confidential support for students. If there are any topic requests you would like us to cover more on. Feel free to share!
@@Psych2go i'm from the Netherlands. Can some one explain me this in Dutch, i can't find a good translation, but think i recocnaise something in this video
That is so true you can't talk to anyone at school now you just deal with everything in your own head to the point your forever alone
i can help u
samen vatting:
"door te opgevoed te worden onder het mon van vermijd afwijsing achterlaatheid en voorordelen dan blijf je dat doen door je hele leven en dan kun je je ongelukkig voelen terwel niemand dat kan zien
het tegen gaan is door je patroon te vinden van het vermijden en er wel op in gaan.
@@fvt1979 ik hoop dat dit zo een beetje goed is samen gevat(i hope i summer rised it richt in dutch)
I am literally falling short of words and honestly, I am not even sure if I it's a good thing or a bad thing as to how accurately it describes my situation and my life. I am stuck in this self-catering prison and it's been so long that I don't even know how to come out of it. I keep feeling like I need help and my therapist has also been trying to help me with this (and a restrictive eating disorder,which I developed as a destructive coping mechanism) but honestly, I am so scared to break out of the cycle since that's what I have known for so many years now. As I said, I am falling short of words because I am super overwhelmed and am not sure if this video is a sign or something. But I hope one day, maybe, things will change for the better.
just change thuuurrr lol. 😂
@@firerams_and_arisinglion and what exactly is that supposed to mean?
You'll surely find a way out....best of luck..hang in there💜
For the past month, I’ve been dealing with this and I don’t know what was causing me to act this way so thank you for making this video to help others and me :)
Same here. Literally had no idea where I should start and it just gets worse. It’s really reassuring but at the same time suck to know there are people out there dealing with these same hollow feelings. Stay safe & healthy guys
Interesting… I don’t really think I have childhood trauma but I can definitely relate to this
Thanks for sharing! Which part did you felt related to the most?
Me too. I don't think I had childhood trauma myself (I had some prolonged minor stuff going on but seems kinda artificial, like an excuse) but I feel I have this thing exactly like mentioned.
Same! I feel like this video describes me. But I don't think I have childhood trauma.
Same. No childhood trauma but I really connected with the "emptiness" and "avoidance". *What does that mean?* 😧
Or maybe your current situation in life show signs of it.
Wow, I felt so exposed at the examples of this psychological issue. I’ve literally been avoiding my irl friends (that took a while to create btw), since I felt myself becoming vulnerable. I can’t really trust anyone, not even my own mother with certain situations, unless I reword them to sound less emotional. I know that if I allow my friends & family to join the fight with me against my intrusive thoughts, they will see another side of me. And, if they accept it, that will form a meaningful, emotional connection. However, if they don’t, and continue to judge it, I’ll feel bad. What makes it even more messed up is that regardless of the outcome, I will socially isolate myself until relationship evaporates a bit. What’s ironic is I can listen to EVERYONE, even a stranger’s deepest, darkest secrets and heal them, but will never allow myself to be healed by someone other than myself… and I take pride in it 🤷🏾♂️ darkness is cozy sometimes
The more I see these videos, the more I can relate myself. I feel like I know all the solutions but don't have energy to do it. Having unstable mental health and other problems making me suffocated. I don't have proper friends to share my problem with, I know blaming everyone and everything won't get me anywhere so I just shut myself down even though it's wrong. Thanks for making these videos, I'm self-awared but can't have the energy to fight. I hope everyone out there gets their desired help.
Ironic how I was about to work on my art (which I rarely do) but put it on hold in order to watch this video about how I apparently have covert avoidance. At the part where they even mention avoiding tasks you enjoy and showing a paint palette as an example, I glanced over at my sketchbook next to me.😅
Photographer here who avoids taking photos, I feel you lol
Hahaha me with my sketchbook
👀👀
Watching this video
I finally broke and cried...
I've never had any words for this
My entire life going without knowing how to describe this
Thank you Psych2go
Thank you
We're so glad that you found the video relatable. If you don't mind sharing, how has covert avoidnace been for you? What type of things were you experiencing mentally?
@@Psych2go It's made me feel like I am broken many times in my life, I felt like I was ungrateful for what I had
And I never really learnt to be my own person
I'm slowly learning as I go
But this particular part of myself has been so burried deep beneath surface level problems I have with myself that I never developed a language for it
It feels like when you're a child and you don't know how to put your feelings into words
And like you are sabotaging yourself by procrastinating even when you know you're gonna like what you plan on doing
It's really difficult to explain still
Sorry for the long text
Thank you for the heart and reply psych2go ❤️
I always adore your videos and your content helps many people
I hope you enjoy your day
Thank you for the detailed response. It sounds like you had this in you for a long time. That sounds rough... However, we're glad that the video was able to give you the words to describe what you're struggling with. I sincerely hope that you will be at your peace with your current struggles now that you have the knowledge of what it is. And thank you for watching our content. You have a great day as well!
Starts crying intensely
😕 Is everything ok?
@@Psych2go yeah it’s just this one got me
Wish I could
Went though this for years and I agree facing your problems is the real game changer, but you need to give yourself the right to fail and forgive yourself when doing so, otherwise you go back to avoidance very quickly. That said, facing your problems helps you see other people as they are, and makes you realize how much conflict and grief there can be between people 😐
I just love this channel so much. It's so smart, polite, loving, caring, and it doesn't avoid any topics some consider taboos. It's one of THE channels I watch and it always helps me during hard times and I'm sure it will continue doibg so through the rest of my puberty. Thank you'all.
That's exactly how I feel , outside looking in , watching everyone arround me in life .. withdrawal yep , procrastination mm , goals no celebration pure so spot on .. try n break cycle, sounds good , reframing is another good thing I have learnt x I am work In progress !! 😂❤❤❤❤❤❤ thank you so much ..
You may also want to look into depersonalization and derealization. I had a medication change that resulted in me having an INTENSE dissociative experience that lasted months. I would lose time, feel like I didnt exist, not be able to say why I was inexplicably an hour late to something and didnt know what I was doing between the times when I left my house and got to where I was going. I forgot to take the new dose for a few days and was able to connect the dots when I started to feel things in my body again instead of just experiencing things happening to me that I seemed to have no control over.
Now I find this happens mostly after I've had an intense emotional trigger or trauma (I also have BPD and periodically experience extreme emotional disregulation/meltdowns), I'll be an emotional and energy vacuum the next day/for a few days. Awake but staring at the wall in bed, no motivation, no energy, no feelings. I had another "aha" moment connecting the two recently (Ive always just been baffled that I can go from All The Feels to I Feel Nothing SO FAST. It used to be a relief but recently the emotional avoidance has become oppressive. Thankfully, once I have the "OH IM DISSOCIATING" moment it almost immediately goes away.
Im sorry to hear youre struggling, but Psych2Go and some other mental health providers on youtube (Psychology in Seattle is fun and Dr. Honda uses reality tv as case studies, which is fascinating) have great free resources on derealization, depersonalization, trauma and dissociation
So relatable. I wanted to have a lot of friends but i don't get along with them. I distanced myself from everyone. I was bullied and discriminated. I grew up observing people, i wasn't able to do things i wanted as a kid. No matter how much people compliment my singing now. I still feel empty. I'm heartbroken but i had to go through it alone. Now im afraid to even get close to someone. My childhood is fucked up, it affected my teenage years. Now i had to go through the hardships of being an adult. Im already 20 but deep inside i still feel like a child with unfulfilled desires.
Thank you so much for this video! I’m currently going through something that I even can’t explain. I definitely resonated with this video, and am able to understand my feelings more because of it. It’s like the universe knew I needed to see this video.
Wow, what a beautifully crafted and insightful video! It's amazing how it delves into the concept of covert avoidance, shedding light on an elusive and deep-seated form of avoidance that many might not even be aware of. The way it connects childhood experiences and their impact on our emotional development is truly eye-opening.
I can definitely relate to some of the examples of covert avoidance mentioned in the video. It's incredible to see how these avoidance patterns can hold us back from forming meaningful connections and pursuing our dreams. The idea of taking control of our lives and facing our fears head-on is both challenging and empowering.
The experts' advice on overcoming covert avoidance through active coping and making conscious choices really resonated with me. Changing our behavior and reframing our perspectives may not come easy, but it's undoubtedly worth the effort to build a more fulfilling life.
Thank you for sharing this valuable content. It has given me a lot to reflect on, and I'm sure it will inspire many others to take steps toward breaking free from avoidance patterns and embracing a more meaningful life. Keep up the fantastic work, and I look forward to more thought-provoking videos from you!
That's exactly what I'm going through... It's crazy that I feel like I didn't leave my life, and for a long time I saw myself in outsider perspective, i didn't feel like I was in control or making the decisions... I was just going and living and avoiding everything and everyone... The day before yesterday I was crying bc of this, I just didn't know how to change that! and although it might sound easy, trust me it is not! So thank you so much for this video!
I didn't have childhood trauma, but I'm like this now after experiencing SA as an adult. Working on addressing and fixing things now.
Interesting and relatable, often I forget what I'm avoiding when I feel it, but I think it's unfulfilled love in my case, or the toxic relationships I had.
Thank you so much, I have been feeling this for a while and this video helps❤
Hi! Thanks for joining early! Hope this video helps you. Let us know which part you felt related to you the most
@@Psych2go Okay❤️
Can you make a video on communicative issues in people with ADHD and how to overcome them? People seem to have a general understanding of what ADHD is, but I don't think a whole lot of people know that the condition can bleed into almost every aspect of your life - including your communicative ability.
As someone with ADHD, I struggle with finding the right words to say and articulating them a lot of the time. Either my brain completely draws a blank as to what to say next or it moves way too fast for me to process and then deletes the words from my memory before I can even say them. This, combined with my crippling social anxiety and deep-seated fear of saying the wrong things and being judged for it, can make talking to people a very difficult, sometimes even PAINFUL, experience that I don't think is talked about enough in videos discussing ADHD symptoms/struggles. Sometimes, it's so difficult to speak that I may even be on the verge of tears for no other reason when I try to.
I feel like a video talking about verbal struggles in ADHD would not only give viewers a better understanding of ADHD, but help OTHERS who struggle with communication as a result of the disorder feel less alone in their struggles.
I’m right there with you on those struggles 😢🙏🏻
This is me 😩
That meaningful connection one was right on the money. Didnt know why I did that until now
Saaaame!! I just kept thinking I was flaky and kinda toxic
Wow. I had been thinking a lot about this lately and was really starting to think about how I feel like a powerless spectator in my own life. I had already started to realize that I needed to take ownership of this and course correct it (and had already started to thankfully❤), so this video couldn't have come at a more pointed time. It's cool to have this stuff explained to me and to know that I (probably) struggle with covert avoidance and to put a name to it. (also I REALLY loved your solutions offered!😍😍) Thank you.❤
The times I feel left out is watching my favorite UA-camrs being friends with each other on their videos and talking about stuff. I just always wanted to be a part of their “friendship web” like feeling belonged to a group.
Its *vitally* important to know the origin of not only why we are avoidant, but also the origin of the negative emotions that arise when we are faced with addressing the things we've been avoiding... There are many wounded parts of ourselves that we've pushed aside at different parts in our life due to trauma. But the tricky thing is, that pushing aside is what helped us to survive those things, psychologically speaking. We must understand and embrace those "forgotten" or ignored parts of ourselves in order to heal them, setting them free to engage in the here & now in healthy ways - leading to a sense of contentment and wholeness - to feel that you are not only alive but living 💙
everytime i watch your videos i cry because i always somehow relate to something in them😭. didn't even realize this applies to me, but i guess it does. i always loved my mom, but being the child of a stress endusing mom who doesn't understand the meaning of a break as a child kind of broke me. at first i was happy i was making her happy by winning academic awards, but soon enough when i wanted a break my mom would flip out and thats when it caused me a lot of realization and a long time depression just leaving elementary. ive made a lot of good friends but being overly aware of my surroundings i could tell i never was a first choice friend for anyone (i have a 5+ filled friend group). that really hurt me because i felt unwanted (and yes i did try and go out there to find more friends except everyone already had their to go) but i never really told my friends because i just wanted to take in the moments i spend with them and not cause problems. (cried a lot silently for two years, still never told them BUT am trying too :) ) still am trying to navigate my life because secretly im very secluded. i know not everyones perfect and everyone has their own problems but sometimes its just tiring dealing with people
sooooo if dealing with ppl is tiring why u wanna be wanted by other ppl lol makes no sense.😂
I feel like I'm going through this really heavily in my late 20s. Sometimes it feels like I got traumatized by the relationships i tried to build throughout my young adulthood that didn't end all that well. I feel like I haven't been willing to do the same things I used to, like I don't have the same motivation or drive. Sometimes I feel like I hit a point where nothing I could choose to do even felt satisfying because i never really got what I wanted despite how hard I worked. Now, my life isn't bad and objectively it's in the best place it ever has been. But everything I achieved still doesn't feel meaningful. I suppose looking at what i might be avoiding is valuable advice.
Oh shit, this is exactly the thing I've discovered about myself in the past few days. Like word for word. Living through 3rd perspective of pleasing other people, not for myself, basing my choices in life on fear, not on what I actually want and just feeling like my life is lacking, not looking like me, leading me to feel empty. Shit. They got a name for everything these days, don't they. And I've even traced it back to being about control. This is some next level synchronicity. The tips were not too helpful, but I will find my own ways to live more fulfilling life, through therapy and inner reflection.
Here are some things I really want to do, but am too afraid:
- start a podcast
- talk to more people, be more open, myself, goofy and make more friends hopefully
- do a research project/paper on my own mind's psychology
Whoa.. I can’t believe I might of just found the answer I’ve been looking for. This made me cry as the video went. So overwhelming.
Jesus Christ I feel called out.
I don't think I have any childhood trauma though, for me it looks like it was "staying home due to covid, missing my friends" and now in college, I didn't find anyone to connect with properly and all my school friends are in different parts of the country all year long. Even though I'm actively working on myself bit by bit, this emptiness just eats me away, and sometimes that feeling is too strong to ignore.
I've tried making friends online, but its not the same. I don't give enough time to my hobbies as of late, instead focus on playing games to seek someone to talk to. I've been taught to say "yes" to everything from a very little age, and now it comes back to haunt me at times. I hope I get better with time.
I swear the god I love this channel it's like you talking directly with me in this video ❤ this is me
What're some other things that could cause this (besides major psychological problems, like depression level)? This video explains my day-to-day life perfectly, but I shouldn't have any trauma from childhood.
I mean, my father had anger management issues due to his degrading mental health that kept getting worse because he was keeping his other relationship a secret from my mother, but it didn't bother me a whole lot. Also, I have school and my parents have long workdays, so I've never had much time to be with them on the weekdays, but we still spent a lot of healthy family time together with my siblings on the weekends and on breaks when I was a kid. I've never felt lonely or neglected.
I always thought that many of my classmates had it worse with their families, at least (from what they told me). All in all, I was a happy child.
So if anyone reads this and has some extensive knowledge about psychology, tell me; is there a possibility that I have trauma from my childhood, that I am not aware of? Or could covert avoidance be caused by another factor in my life? I'd really like to figure this out and cut to the root of the problem. Thank you in advance, whoever answers.
We talk a lot about "childhood trauma" and "abuse" when we talk about the behaviors we've carried into adulthood. Ultimately, those behaviors are just skills we picked up along the way to cope with our environment and get our needs met despite our circumstances. If ever it was easier to decide everything was okay in order to meet your needs for affection and attention or to avoid rocking the boat, then those behaviors served you in childhood or adulthood and became the way you know how to handle stressful situations. All anyone needs is a prolonged situation that made it difficult to get your needs met to influence your skills and behaviors. I don't have extensive knowledge outside of my own 8 year journey in therapy and an associate's in human services, so I couldn't tell you anything specific, but if you feel like you're struggling, I'll always recommend talk therapy if you can get it.
@@Leafpool12345 Yeah I've thought about the possibility of a mild c-ptsd (if that's even the right term in this context -- or if it's even an official diagnosis yet...). Trauma is so often subconscious.
I might talk to a therapist once I get out of school and have more time to do so. This thing is kind of making me schizoid, after all. Anyways, thank you for taking the time to reply!
In my case, i was emotionally neglected by my parents (i concluded that they both dont know how raise a child) and have to grow up faster. I experienced rejection, abandonment and betrayal by what would most consider trivial things (im just particularly sensitive about stuff because i never really know how to handle my emotions). Now, i instinctively avoid things that i perceive to harm me in some ways in the near future to protect myself. I think i also have adhd? But im just self diagnosing it especially since ive checked mark most of the symptoms but havent have the money to see a specialist (and i live in a country where these specialist are very rare).
i deeply relate to this. but everytime i try to ask myself what's the problem and how to resolve, i always end up confused and not knowing what's wrong. so i just started ignoring stuff. Dont care didnt ask. No need for a solution if there's no problem :)
Pretty good at dealing with inconsequential unnecessary life scenarios i tell you that. extra points if you can be funny too!
its only a matter of time before you gotta deal with yourself and make things better for yourself.
I completely understand where you're coming from. It can be frustrating and confusing when trying to identify the problem and find a resolution. Ignoring things might seem like a temporary escape, but deep down, we know there's a need for self-reflection and growth.
You've got a talent for dealing with inconsequential life scenarios with humor, and that's a valuable skill! Laughter can be a great coping mechanism, but remember, there's a time to address deeper issues too.
Facing ourselves and working towards personal growth can be challenging, but it's essential for our well-being. Take your time, and when you're ready, know that there's support available to help you on your journey. You deserve to make things better for yourself, and with determination, you can do it! Keep your sense of humor intact, and stay strong! 😄💪
@@PsychRealmExplorers thanks for the kind words friend. I agree with everything you have said.
Looking around, my peers, they got it all worked out for them lmao. they express themselves so easily makes you wonder how do they do that fr.. so effortlessly vulnerable... and here i am, overthinking everything. it frightens me when i feel like i can't control something which isnt that of a deal to others.
this has unfortunately shown bad efffects like my friends calling me apathetic (props to them for being honest tho. very hard to find them nowadays) or cold, immature (cuz the bad timing of the jokes) when the main problem is me not knowing how to..
i understand that escapism just makes the problem worse. Maybe its not as hard as i make it to be.. either way im up for a good challenge yeah :)
Thanks for summarizing my life. I'm 45 now and it has such a strong hold... I discovered Anna/CCF very recently and it was quite the revelation!
Dang. So that's why I've been feeling empty. It's like I done a lot of great things and I have good friends, yet I feel hollow, incomplete, like something's always missing. The thing that's missing is happiness. I usually pretend to be happy and satisfied with my life and other stuff, but... I don't feel true happiness. I've become a kid with low self-esteem, low self-confidence. I've been told that I'm amazing, I'm beautiful, yet... I don't feel like it. Whenever, I speak up, I feel like other people will yell, like why am I even talking. An ugly person like me, an annoying person, a nobody. I feel like everyone will judge me, so I decided to blur into the crowd.. to avoid any of that. I thought it'd be better, but here I am feeling empty, questioning my reason for being alive.
this made me feel so understood. I would get so angry at myself for procrastinating things and avoiding doing things, even though i know it will make me feel better. now i see that that was just my way of coping. and i can change that.
These are really scary stuff for me but yes I do this and I don’t want to do it anymore. Thank you psych to go your softness in delivering these video is very appreciated. Facing these things isn’t easy
Wish my parents could understand but it is what it is
Have you tried sharing this video with them?
@@Psych2go pretty sure they trust their life experiences over a youtue video no offense!
and i even know what theyll say: "TOUGH SHIT"
For anyone who identifies with this a lot, and despairs over learning to get past it--be aware that if avoidance has significantly affected your life in a negative way, you may have actual Avoidant Personality Disorder. Talking to a well-trained therapist could change your life. Just as the video says, avoiding your avoidance won't make it go away, so you might as well face it.
It's not a one-day thing. Push yourself forward a little more *every* day. Don't look at the mountain, look at the footpath. Take only the next step. Good therapy can help you do it faster.
Everyday, Psych2go knows how to make people better, an interesting video which is like no one realise this and just prejudging without thinking. Big thank you !! ❤😀
Another thing that can make you feel empty is something called SSRI's, which if im not mistaken, is a form of antidepressants that sort of just numbs emotions, getting rid of the bad with the good, so to say.
You're absolutely right. SSRI's are a type of antidepressant medication that aims to balance serotonin levels in the brain. While they can be helpful for managing depression and anxiety, they may have side effects, including emotional numbing or feeling emotionally disconnected.
It's essential to remember that everyone's experience with medication can vary, and what works for one person may not work the same for another. If you're feeling emotionally numb or empty due to medication, it's crucial to communicate with your healthcare provider. They can help adjust the dosage or explore other treatment options that suit your individual needs.
Taking care of your mental health is essential, and finding the right balance is a process that may require some trial and error. Open communication with your healthcare provider will ensure you get the support and treatment that best suits you. Remember, you deserve to feel emotionally healthy and fulfilled, and there are resources available to help you achieve that. Take care! 💕
I think it's pretty safe to say that I've been avoiding cooking lately. It used to be something that I really enjoyed - even on occasions when my recipe didn't turn out super tasty - because it felt good to be creative and to nourish myself. But ever since getting out of a relationship with a really toxic partner who used to treat me like shit anytime I cooked something he didn't like (regardless of its actual quality), AND being recently diagnosed with Crohn's, trying to cook new recipes has become such a source of stress that I struggle to think of even one new recipe I've cooked since being free of my ex.
I think what I'm going to do now is FIRST to make an entry in my therapy journal so I know to focus on this with my therapist at my next appointment. Then I'm going to select a recipe - something that will be good for my condition and that I've never made before - and write down on my calendar the date that I'm going to cook it.
Lastly, I'm going to start inviting friends over to cook WITH ME. My ex was a control freak who HATED having me in the kitchen when he was cooking, and resented being asked for help of any kind when I was the one making dinner. I need to remind myself that most people are not emotionally abusive like he was, and I am absolutely free to form new, positive associations with cooking.
@Psych2go thank you for making this channel. I have been noticing that when I’m struggling with questions that hasn’t been answered, you tend to have the answer or/and solution to it. I was surprised and happy that you spoke about Convert Avoidance because I was feeling lost and empty for about 3 years. I have spoken to my psychologist and psychiatrist but I was told that it could mean I’m lonely. I tried to socialize more but I still felt the same and I couldn’t understand why. Now that you post this video I now know what is happening to myself and I have a good idea on what I want to tell my psychiatrist. Thank you soooooo,much 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 I’m still going to have issues facing my problems but I know that I can face it.😅
I was scrolling through Facebook, and it feels this hit directly out of nowhere!
Everything that is explained of Covert Avoidance is what I'm feeling all this time without knowing about it. I feel that my past traumas hold my feet together and don't allow me to move on. I have many achievements, but I lack a sense of fullfilment with whatever I do. I also tend to avoid social gatherings as much as possible because I'm an introvert. My social battery deplets fast depending on the situation. It's irritating, and I struggle with it almost daily :(
I don’t know if the creator of this video realize but your voice has probably saved countless lives
Fantastic timing on the release of this... I was actually just stewing on the particular emptiness in question, and this hit it on the head.
i dont even know if i have childhood trauma but i relate to this
Trauma isn't necessarily a precursor to covert avoidance. It may just be due to one's personality or environment!
@@Psych2go i blame my personaly ig 😂
This describes me so much. I avoid real connection with people because being close leaves the “real” me vulnerable.
My whole life.. low energy, always late by atleast 5-10mins, always having my reasons, low self-esteem, procrastination till just before deadline, preferred isolation during weekends but i thought it's normal.
Some of these symptoms increased during last few months and thats when i actually noticed and realised its not normal and thought maybe its anxiety..but its covert avoidance 😅
Strange but i never had any childhood trauma as far as i remember. Only low self confidence throughout my life.
Thanks for this video, the information helps. 👍🏻
Trauma doesn't have to be big. Trauma can come from very small but very numerous events where you weren't valued in some way. Such as parents who frequently dismiss your opinions and emotional reactions when you're growing up. This can lead to lack of self-confidence because you've been taught that your opinions and emotions are usually wrong.
What you said describes me to a T and I also got fairly recently diagnosed with ADHD so maybe look into that as well!
@@nickjsky1 Nothing comes to my mind right now but ...My parents weren't forceful but I always pretended that I had the same opinion as theirs..I don't do this anymore
Thanks, I'll try to remember if there were any such incidents as you have mentioned.
@@Cayliente Thanks, ADHD did cross my mind.. I'll look into it for sure 👍🏻
Can relate… it’s sad to see life pass me by…
No. I'm just alone. This is my curse. Every other issue I've solved myself. But loneliness is the only thing I require someone else's input to fix. And no one is willing. Maybe I'm just a terrible person, and I've deserved all this suffering. But what did I do that was so terrible that 20+ years of loneliness was justified? I'm tired of being tired of being alone... and I just want someone to wake up too
Great content and MUCH better audio editing. Love it! What an interesting and powerful topic to cover too. You’ve done a wonderful job.
This is actually pretty good
What did you think about this video? :) Thanks for commenting early!
Thank you for mentioning Anne Runkle ❤ Her perspective helped me a lot
I really needed to see this 😭😭 I've been feeling trapped for the last few weeks as if I'm in a prison of my own making with no idea why. THIS is why.
Yes, I realise I love indulging myself into entertainments and different kinds of attachments since I was little. I thought I was happy back then while actually I was just seeking temporary relief.
Symtoms included placating to others, I needed constant recognitions. True, once I was emotionally attached to one another I had to withdraw immediately, it's like I had to recharge myself. For a whole year in senior secondary form, I tried to spend time alone avoiding my classmates, guess I'd been tired of staying in terrified status.
Last but not least, thank you for helping me identify this subtle psychological issue, it's small yet significant! Hope more ppl identify it if they have!
I never knew it had a name. I've said for a very very long time that although I've grown better as an adult at pretending I'm fine and smiling and doing all the things that normal people do......I've never felt connected with people. I've always called it simply sever social anxiety and it's that too but.....I've never been able to connect on any level other then superficial with people. Im the "oh she's sweet" person, but never the "I wanna hang out with her" person.
The image you had of the glass box. I've used that to try and explain to someone once what was wrong with me. That I was inside a glass box looking out. I could talk to and interact with people, but never touch them, fully understand them....be understood.. I was told me I was being dramatic and that I was fine.
I’ve binged watched your channel just today and it’s been hitting the target 🎯
I had no idea this existed. Sheds light on my life. Thank you
The notification to this video came just in time, and here I am sobbing at every little true detail about myself.
You say I should stop avoiding my problems and ask myself of they're actually problems, I've been doing this for a while now and believe me I am only getting worse.
I am really tired.
The missing piece of the puzzle, one of them anyway. Thanks for the video. Helpful
Welcome Sarah! Amazing draws 🙌
Again, you have amazing videos and ideas. this team is awesome!
I was asking myself why do I feel so empty and apathic the last months. This video came in the right time wow
I didn't know this was a thing. This explains so much.
I send these to my therapist. She likes them very help full. And much appreciate.
Wow this is exactly how I behave. I feel so lonely most times but I avoid hanging around people. I procrastinate a lot even with things I know I’m suppose to do. I really wish I knew how to make friends and actually keep them. I feel so sad. I feel so down, when I’m in a relationship I turn to be clingy because that person becomes my everything and I always end up getting played and hurt. I just hate my life 😢
I think you have diagnosed me. I am trying to get into my art/craft things again. I don't have the energy to go out. I am ok in bed. I want to be left alone. But I feel lonely now I am rid of a few narcissists. Thank you for all your help and support and love ❤
Thanks for sharing your experience. How has your life een since you decided to cut out people who are narcissistic? Has the art/craft been helping you not feel alone?
@@Psych2go Getting rid of narcissists is a relief. I can't get much done yet. Thank you so much your channel is exerlent. I appreciate all your work to help me. 👍💖
Glad to hear that cutting off gave you some relief. I sincerely wish you the best in your artistic endeavors and that you'll be able to do more art/crafts when you're able!
@@Psych2go Thank you for being so wonderful 💖
this explains the life of adults. hence the words, "childhood trauma". yet this still explains me. im just 14. not sure if anybody has heard of this, theres a mental disorder called Misophonia. hearing related. look it up for more details. i was diagnosed a year ago but ive had it since i was 10. my parents have tortured me and taken advantage of my issue. now, 4 years of trauma later, in 8th grade, i have an overwhelming amount of work to do. even for people my age. everytime i get bad scores for my tests, my parents ask me to tell me if i have an issue.i have an issue, i dont have time, its too much for me. i never speak up.i always remain silent. im in tears just writing this, nobody seems to understand my situation and tell it to my parents, there are countless incidents of me going to slice my neck and making myself bleed. yet still nobody notices and nobody understands. i wanna give up, this has gotten too much for me to handle.
But I don't know how!!!
I say yes to every invitation, to every social gathering, to every bit of chaos in my life, I try to give up as much control as I can, but then I'm suddenly called "indecisive". 😢
I want to do so much, but it is like I have a fog in my head, that holds me down, and as much as I want to, I can't escape it.
You say to face the problem head on but I don't see a way to do that, the anxiety that comes with even thinking about it is so great that the only thing I can do really is to just distract myself with something else. If the problem comes to me then maybe I can deal with it, but not if I have to go and address it myself
Thank you so much. We need more people like you
Very good video now i know my homie is felling empty mate
From soviet union
Every single example ticked a box in my life. Uncanny! I really wish there was a more thorough explanation of what to do about it though
Please help someone, please. This is the first time I'm sharing this with anyone. I have tears in my eyes while writing it. Last year in April, I told my family and everyone a very big lie about my employment in a very prestigious government sector. I actually couldn't quality by just 2 marks. I was preparing for it since 2018 remaining unemployed. I didn't know why I lied, but it made everyone very happy and my family told all my relatives about it. I didn't have guts to tell them the truth. The lie kept on going for many years until April,2023. Because I was not getting my joining letter. So I made a fake joining letter and lied about that also. I'm feeling so so terrible . Day before yesterday I shifted to a new city for the job that doesn't exist. My family is happy for my new journey. I just don't know what to do, I can't tell them the truth. What do I do? Please help someone.
I'm in severe depression and anxiety. Please please help.
I’m so sorry you are in this situation. It sounds like for whatever reason you were seeking or needing validation from those you love and respect. As much as I wish a lie was not involved it is. My desire for you is that you will realize you are not defined or valued because of your job, title or social standing.
You are uniquely designed and can succeed in whatever industry you desire to. The people who truly love and accept you will embrace you to gain better understanding of your choice. Ask yourself why you felt you needed to take this drastic step to impress others when you clearly are enough. Set a deadline to come clean to free yourself from the lie. Find an occupation that gives you purpose and peace. Accept yourself now because your worthy and valuable now. Best wishes.
@@souledout3239 Hey!
I spoke the truth to everyone day before yesterday. It was definitely very relaxing at first, but the feeling of guilt and shame has come upon me. The feeling of letting everyone down and being a failure. I seem to have lost my confidence in myself that I once had very much. How do I get out this feeling?
love the format, content, and animation! Subscribing now!
I 100% relate to this, I have been trying to put a label to these things, for like three years now, I just wanted to know what was wrong with me and why I avoid people, situations and feelings. It has destroyed my relationships with people to the extent that I don’t even have friends, I only talk to my family and like 3 of my course mates(I’m in University)….I just end up ruining relationships, even when these people are wonderful people…I feel so bad for myself. I’m very happy I got to know about this, this is the first step, now I know I’m not alone in this. Thank you very Psych2go.
When i enter this Channel i Found a healing ...! thank You so much ..❤
Ngl I watch these to “make sure I don’t relate” but this video had described me better then I could have
I relate to all of what you said but I had a great childhood.
The people in my comments are making me feel like im not alone, this sucks but at least i know im not the only one with this. I feel so aware of what im doing, yet i dont want to do anything to help myself, its more comfortable living a life without any risks or way of things going wrong.
Thank you for this video. I needed it! I never knew there was a term for this.
There's a bit by Alan Watts on this:
"The only way to handle danger is to face it.
When you don't, when you start getting frightened of it you project
unto it a ghost of anxieties and fantasies that aren't real.
And that's the real danger, that you'll be harmed by the ghost of a
problem that isn't really there.
And that's why when you meet one of these ghosts, you must walk
straight into it... And it will disappear."
Thank you, this gave me a better understanding of myself. But it will be difficult to feel my feelings the way I used to as a child. I always feel like I don't feel the actual emotions I display in front of others, it's like if my brain knows what it should be feeling and I'm just automatically acting, but it's not how I truly feel and/or I don't feel that emotion in the same intensity as I show. I often feel a small presence of emotion but I exaggerate my facial expressions and laughs even when I'm by myself. I have a lot of baggage, when I felt sad as a kid I kept wishing I was apathetic so that way I couldn't be sad anymore. I can still feel strong emotions of sadness, it's one of my strongest emotions even if it's getting more numb, I still cry my eyeballs out sometimes. Fear is definitely what has been causing this because I know I'm scared of feeling hurt and sad again. I hold a lot of rage inside me but it's getting more numb as well because the more I care less about the things and people that I love and/or make me happy, the less I care about what I want. So there won't be anything to be mad at if there is nothing that I love enough to defend. Because what I want and/or love dosen't matter, all that matters is to make sure I'm not sad anymore. So the only thing that is keeping me from being completely consumed by fear is the rage, I still have enough love for myself that it won't allow me give up on feeling true happiness again.
Psycho2go I love you, you saved my life ❤
Change your mindset, change your world
Thank you psych2go help me calm and relax ❤
I felt so called out, I was so confused on what was wrong with me, thank you so much!
Thank you psych2go this is something I’ve struggled with and I feel like it’s kind a fate that this video would come out on my birthday, I know it wasn’t intentional but thanks for the birthday gift I greatly appreciate it