The Damage Done-Nick
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2023
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Nick, a survivor of childhood abuse in Bakersfield, California.
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Here's a link to a GoFundMe campaign to help some of the people seen in SWU interviews: gofund.me/9ebad507 - Фільми й анімація
Thank you guys for everything I took in all your kind words I really appreciate you. Thank you again Mark for having me on I appreciate you more than you know. You guys have made my day ❤
Hi Nick, thank you, you are a true living Legend 😊
GBY thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure this awareness is helping a lot of people. Sending you big hugs ❤
Thank you for sharing your story, your pain, and what you have learned about yourself with all of us viewers. Your bravery to confront how life has challenged you is inspiring. Keep on with your journey to learn to heal, have hope, and love yourself.
@nick19328 you're welcome dude any time
Everything about your story resonated with me so strongly. I went through a very very similar upbringing and for so many years I fantasized about taking care of my abuser. I’m doing a lot better and don’t think that way anymore but occasionally the darkness overwhelms me and I have a lot of what of thoughts. Next time I have some of those I’ll try to remember your story and the fact that you got no closure and that I probably wouldn’t either.
Thank you for your bravery and sharing, Nick.
takes guts, for sure.
@@smokejc too important not too
@@ItsSauIGoodman or y'know, you can let the guy enjoy videos from the channels he's subscribed to without having people bother him with the same garbage
Chocolate rain!
This man should be sainted.
As a mother, it breaks my heart thinking of this man, as a young boy, wondering why his mom wasn't checking to see if he was OK. :( You deserved to be protected. It is brave of you to talk about this. May your healing continue!
I know!!! Well said!! I’ll be his mom!! I want him to know that feeling of a mothers love, and it’s so sad that he doesn’t. I can’t even imagine what that must feel like 😢
If the two of you have children, I hope they feel your love.
Not everyone is so lucky.
Every time I watch one of these videos, I feel like I’m taking a parenting class. The effects yelling had on you nick, makes me take a second thought at how I will use my voice in my house and around my children. Parenting can be really hard, but realizing how hard we have to work to protect our babies will always make it worth it.
Same exact thought. I have to be more cautious as well.
Absolutely. Parenting is the most important role...mother and father!!
Amen
Right, the same for me. I think all new parents should watch these videos. I think it would make a difference.
Being a good parent is the hardest thing I ever tried to do...and I've failed horribly but I'm still trying to get it right. Your story will help me thank you Nick for sharing
So sad when kids have their innocence stolen from them:( I hope this dear man continues heal.
I feel for him so badly. I hear the pain in his voice.
I had a very similar upbringing with several years of abuse. And yes, it’s unfortunate how common it is. I lived in absolute hell for so many years. I never turned to drugs or bad behavior, I always promised myself if I ever made it out alive, I’d never let that cycle repeat itself. And I stuck to my word.
I’m rooting for you sir!
❤️❤️❤️
Good to hear about you don't let the cycle repeat. Some women are simply not capable of having an even remotely normal relationship with a small child, which is very destructive if a grown man does not break such a relationship.
mhhm...
its good that you keep that word
Good for you. Me too. No one knows, but we do. We understand what we avoided.
When he said he didn't want to go to sleep because he didn't want to miss out on feeling happy... touched my heart. Parents out there, love your kids. You are all they have
Most parents do the best they can,I suppose. This topic has only been discussed in recent times. My mother didn't tell me about her abusing uncle until I was 30 ish. I would keep my mouth shut another 10 years regarding her 2nd husband abusing me.
@@terywetherlow7970 that makes my heart sad... No one should know what that feels like. I hope you have finally found peace and joy 💛
@@indirademiraj9417 I learned at an early age to make my own joy....I married and I had kids. That was joyful. As my daughter's grew I decided to never be in touch with my fam.
It was horrible to visit w. my abuser right there. I eventually confronted him once my step sibs were grown and living life.
Of course,he dragged the fam in on the conversation. He solved his issue by calling me a liar and I was done with it all. I made my own way by being a "voluntary orphan", from that day on.🕊️
Two words immediately came to mind whilst listening to you speak young man...
Courageous and brave...
You have a sensitive soul and a kind heart...
I am touched by your relationship with your dad...
He must be so proud of you...
I certainly am...
🇿🇦
❤🇿🇦 fello South African
DU PLESSIS SPRINGBOKS
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see"
Dear Nick ..... you have a tender heart, you have courage, thank you for this ❤
This man has a good soul. Stay strong brother. Thank you for sharing.
Childhood trauma is always at the core of all of our issues. It’s good that he is acknowledging it bc if we don’t address it we can’t stop the cycle and continue abusing ourselves and others. I pray for his healing. It takes work but it’s worth it.
It can be a contributor but it's not the root of every issue in the world. That's a massive oversimplification.
@@kenosabi yeah, it's big but it's not everything. Mark has some bias toward showing the childhood influence I think to try to motivate more social understanding of the deep impact these things can have.. and how common they are.
@kenosabi what do you think the primary cause is?
@@kenosabi
Im asking too, what do you think is at the root?
Gabor Maté is considered a world authority on addiction of all types, chemical and otherwise. He argues that all addictions can be traced to childhood trauma.
Don’t think I’ve related more to an interview than that this one. Story of my life
This took such a beautiful turn. You're a warrior Nick!
One of my favorite interviews. So much self awareness, a true cycle breaker
5MILLION subscriptions!!!!!!! Congratulations Mark and Crew! You earned and deserve each and every one!!!!!!! Thanks guys!!!!!!!
Good morning Gram! Hope you have a wonderful morning, brother..and an awesome week! WhoopWhoop, let's do it!
5million subs, damn...we been here a long,long time😂
@@wesleyalan9179GM brother, I know right. have a great day my friend!!!
Wat up brother Gram. So ya got the comment banner again…huh? Did ya know that? Congrats! That’s the 2nd time now. Lol. Enjoy your day homie.
@wesleyalan9179 Wats up Wessy. Right!? 5M! You and Gram been here before me, but I don’t know how much longer. And been here less than 2 years maybe.
@@myeyeswentdeaf6213
You've been here a pretty long while too, idk how long I've been here, I wished I could figure that out😄
I'm pretty tough...no nonsense type of woman and there have only been two or three of these interviews that tear me up ......THIS ONE DEFINITELY DID.....IT HURT!!! Sending him so much love!!
CONGRATULATIONS NICK !!!! Congratulations on being free and congratulations on your 2 years clean. Wonderful message Nick. Thank you. I also got sober the same age you did Nick, i was 28 years old and now I have 40 years sober Nick, it was all worth it. I related to alot of your story and as you know Nick, your not different, many people have had some of the same experiences as us. It was so great to hear your journey and how you over came and are a happy sober man today. We truly have a gift, and I kept mine protected at all lengths and that made me sober old lady now Nick. Hugs to you across the country. God bless you on this new journey. Your a winner Nick.
It's horrible how the foundations are laid when we can't do anything about it, and it's the layers of it that just keep getting poured on top, until its goddamn buckling under the weight of it. Nick, I haven't gone through all the same experiences you have, but it's on the same map. It really helped to hear it from someone who has been through it too. I hope you keep healing.
I’m 28 and still haven’t found my way out of the darkness yet. Thanks for sharing your story Nick, I know how hard it had to have been.
Take your time. We're with you. We believe in you.
Bloodreign im so very sorry to hear you are not in ur rightful place but i promise you, i know you deserve every happiness, love, to give and receive love, peace, calm and to be able to dream. Please dont give up- it is in you already.. sending love from australia 💜
Please see a therapist trained in different trauma therapy methods. It helped me tremendously
You will. I was on Paxil age 33 - 43. Got off I started thinking I shouldn't be alive. 1 time thought. I said, "Off Paxil."
Been fine. Especially after my abuser passed away. 😅
Nick, you deserve dozens and dozens of the best, most loyal and sincere friends in the world. I know we don't always get what we deserve (you sure as hell didn't deserve the sh!t that happened to you as a little boy, no child does), but I have a feeling you've got a boat load of blessings and love coming your way. Stay shining your light. You're an inspiration 💖
I am SO happy for you Nick! You did it!
The difference in your interview from start to finish is AMAZING. You radiate love!
Nick is just the sweetest. Seeing him smile at the end talking about how he loves himself and watching him light up as he learned about emotional intelligence, it just puts a huge smile on my face. So happy for you Nick! Keep healing. You deserve it.
What a beautiful testimony to the power of great therapists and someone willing to do the work. Nick may not have had control over his situation as a child but he sure does now and he chose happiness. Proud of you Nick! I hope your story inspires others to see the power is within them and to tap into that. Best wishes for a wonderful hopeful happy future!
Tammic, you hit the nail on the head when you said great therapist and patient willing to give it his all and do the hard work! You said it perfectly!
Nick, your heart is pure. I wish you happiness and good healing
His story is so similar to mine. I hope he continues to heal. I'm really rooting for him. 🖤
Nick and I lived parallel lives but it looks like he’s lapped me in healing. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel less alone now
This man seems so full of compassion and wisdom it such a shame that his mom was so self-absorbed that she didn’t invest in him😞 That being said I believe he will turn it around and help change the world for good!
Sexual abuse is so evil! This man has been devastated by this. He seems like such a sensitive and loving guy.
Thanks to Valerie, Randy and all the good therapists supporting healing and recovery. The world needs more people like you.
You got this, Nick. You’re a beautiful human. Keep at it.
he is so special ...truly an angel ...he's going to help a lot of people in the next 50 years
The transformation of the guy from the start of the interview to the end gives me hope for this world. Thank you Nick
Omg I feel his pain and anguish. Thank God he had his Dad's love and Grandma's love to anchor him a little bit. I just want to give him a big hug. God Bless him.
I thought the same - just want to hug him and tell him he is loved
'life's a struggle, but bring that sh*t on' - this has to be one of the most uplifting pieces in a while! Kudos to Mark to just let Nick tell his story, and very kind thought to Valerie ;)
Good for you, Nick, and I hope you keep the forward momentum - you seem like in a good place now!
Mark, your interviews make me appreciate my upbringing so much more. God bless this young man and all who have endured such nightmares. ✝️
This man's truth hits me right in the heart!! You are more special then you think Nick! I am SO SORRY for what you have gone through in your life!!
The transformation at the end of this interview is amazing!! Thank you ...I WANT my daughter to see this and get help...
Thank you for your words
My Instagram and email is in my bio if you need me to speak to your daughter I will gladly help in anyway I can good luck man
What a beautiful person. This interview was horrifying the first half and suddenly turned. It was awesome to watch his demeanor change from dark and troubled to happy and hopeful. Truely an inspiration for all of us, no matter if we doing well or bad. You can always work on yourself and become a better person and make yourself and others around you happier.
Nick, you should be very proud of how you've been learning to confront the pain you feel. It is letting your beautiful soul shine through instead of being buried beneath the behavior that hides the hurt. Taking on a worthwhile struggle is how we find purpose my friend. God bless.
He understands the cycle of abuse. I went threw the same things. I'm so sorry man. We are good people.
The pain in his expressions and his words is so strong and powerful.... I can't imagine, Goodluck friend, you're a beautiful soul. This world hasn't treated you kindly, but you deserve it.
This is the most powerful video and story I have ever seen on your channel.
Nick, you struck a chord with me my friend. I hope by telling your story on this channel it gives you even more strength. You will now and forever be an inspiration to many others who hear your story. You are a bright shining light that can never be put out. I wish you all the best in your new exciting life. From a Brother in the UK.
Well said Yo-yo…took the words right out of my mouth
Nick...thanks for stopping the cycle of abuse...you are a great man.
Your mother didn't deserve you , Nick ! Thank you for your vulnerability. Praying your testimony of your life will inspire others that are going thru this type of trauma to hang on ❤
I'm from a small city about an hour from Bakersfield and my dad and his side all live there. I am so glad Nick got to tell his story and that he is in a good place internally. You can see he means it & its changed him to work through his childhood trauma. I just want to give him a hug. Thank you, Mark, for giving people a safe place to share their life stories ❤
I loved seeing your face light up 40 minutes in, Nick!! Very proud of you recognizing your self-worth!!! You are a good egg.
egg ?
@@serujioduarutejr.2275 it’s an idiom meaning “a good person” as opposed to a “bad egg.”
“Good egg is a friendly, old-fashioned way to talk about a good guy or a kind person. When you call your next door neighbor a good egg, it's clear that you're fond of her. The expression originally came from its opposite, bad egg, British public school slang from the 1800's for someone who was not nice.”
I'm an adult survivor of csa..... A woman. This is such a hard thing for anyone to cope with but..... I got a lot of respect for the men that come out and live an authentic life. Women tend to internalize, men tend to externalize..... So proud of you Nick ❤ stay with the healing path. You are worth it! That's the hard part, recognize your worth..... What happened to you should have never been. For me, God has always put people in my path to help with the emptiness. I have had surrogate moms, dads, sisters etc. You gotta have your eyes open for it and allow it. You said it, in your gut you know when something is wrong with someone. At 60, most of my family is people that I am not blood related to.... That's the blessing God gave me. I let it in to my life....
Good for you; you have a lot of strength!
Such an inspirational story. Overcoming struggles, trauma, addiction ❤. I work for a non profit agency with youth in the foster system and I will be sharing your story with them!! Keep on shining ✨️ Nick.
I’ve been watching this channel for years, and Nick’s story was so poignant that I was left truly moved by him, his resilience and his determination. He is so wise at the young age of 30, and while his mother’s betrayal throughout his life left indelible marks on his psyche, his fathers and fathers family prove how essential it is to grow up being loved unconditionally. I hope that Nick will pursue a path of teaching because he has wisdom to teach and his storytelling is compelling. I believe that he has great potential to help others and I wish him continued strength and empowerment in the future. Thanks for this story, Mark!
Nick I hope you read all of the supportive comments because listening to your story was probably the first time I ever watched a SWU video and felt the emotions that the person telling their story. I'm proud of you for being able to have the courage to start talking about your traumas!! I know how hard that specific topic truly is. I'm super happy and proud that you were able to open up and accept the positive changes that we have to endure ourselves to get the best life we possibly can have. KEEP. FUCKING. GOING!!!
Thank you for sharing Nick. Im only about half-way in and going to finish but this is heartbreaking to hear. For someone who’s had their heart broken constantly overtime you have a huge heart. The amount of self awareness you have too blows me away. Thank you.
Good morning SWU family. Congratulations to Mark & everyone for helping this channel get to 5M.
Nick, thank you for being vulnerable & sharing your story with us 🫶🏻♥️
Having normal loving parents who can give you the positive attention you need is so important and too few children receive that. Understanding that and getting therapy are amazing steps. You opened eyes and hearts with your video. I wish for you daily contentment and lots of special days of pure joy. Life is a challenge and you're stepping up, Nick. Good luck!
No one can replace a mother but boo something tells me you made a bunch of connections with people who love you today by sharing your story. Trust that even if you never find out, your story is reaching someone who 100% needed to hear it. And forgive me on this one... the action is done but if nothing else the person you went after will at least wake up and be reminded every day of what they did with every step they take. It's not the same, of course, but he will never forget now. Sending you all the love and strength.
One of the best interviews on the channel.
Had me breaking down like an infant.
Not even for me, but reminded me of my boyfriend.
This channel has been a life-changing addition.
Thank you all.
This is by far one of the best interviews I've seen on this show. Nick is awesome
Wow! I’m sooo glad you made it Nick 🙏🏼 you are going to help others and thank you for being brave to talk to Mark on camera. One of my favorite stories
Wish this young man all the very best for his future., he so deserves love and happiness
My heart goes out to you, Nick. My partner was abused at 10 years old. This went on for years. Now in 40’s and just starting to work on healing from the abuse.
It’s not easy to face and even harder to share, especially with the world. I commend you for your strength and putting yourself out there like this. My heart breaks for what has happened to you. That you weren’t able to speak up and had to take on this silently and alone. Know that people out there care and see YOU now. Much love to you. ❤
The way you articulate yourself and the abuse and the shocking feeling, I know your feelings. Thankyou for sharing. You’re really amazing.
Me my brother and my sister stopped the generations of all the abuse too!!!! Congratulations.
You have plenty of friends here Nick.
Absolutely beautiful! That last 5 minutes was chills non stop for me! I felt it in my soul brother! We can come up!
We can come up Thank you for those words i needed that today thank you 🙏
This is so beautiful and uplifting. Inspiration in dark times. You radiate positivity, Nick. It’s infectious.
Hi Nick , my mom had a painful childhood. Still she change her reality and had my sister and I. Thru the grace of God she was able to raise my sister and I as if she never went thru so much pain. She’s a role model. I love hearing the end of this video but definetly not the end of your story. You are going places. It take guts to change our story and we gotta keep pushing thru it. ❤ God bless your soul and all of you reading this.
Love what you've been able to accomplish with the hand you were dealt, Nick. You inspire me.
Hearing your story helped me and I’m sure, many other people as well.
Thank you for being so courageous and open.
You are special, you are important and you deserve to be happy.
Nick, being vulnerable is the real strength.. My heart beats for you ..best luck in life ..
This is such a great interview. Mark, you really have a gift for getting people to open up and share their stories.
Have not felt the need to comment on any of these videos until you Nick! Bravo to you young man, you are a true hero! Your past is not dragging you down anymore, the here and now is where it’s at. You have survived, you are your own best friend, but willing to support and guide someone else through the darkness. I can’t praise you enough for your courage and strength to face your demons and be victorious. Thank you for sharing your story Nick! May your path be filled with many blessings👍😊
Laita-I know you have a good exercise regiment, but I seriously hope you have a good therapist as well. Dealing w/Rebecca alone is a roller coaster, but these heavy vids take a toll on one’s health after awhile.
I think vids like these are SO important. Men are taught to be stoic & stone-faced. It’s important to talk about these things. Secrets are poison
You’re helping people, Nick. Thank you. I can’t speak for SA survivors or addicts but I see the comments.
I am a mom of a little boy though and I try to be the best mom but a reminder to talk to your kids and let them know that they can tell you anything and won’t get in trouble, you won’t be mad, and any threats from predators are empty and that you’ll protect them no matter what is always needed.
No kid should suffer in silence like that and I imagine you are inspiring a lot of important conversations.
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that but hope you continue to feel free, happy, and appreciated.
What a transformation from beginning to the end of the interview. This guy is really working on himself
Watched the whole interview. What an amazing human being!
Nick, thank you for sharing your heart-breaking story. You will always be in my prayers 💖🙏💖🙏
Nick, when you speak I can see your inner child come out. Sending you prayers and many blessings to you. You are a warrior
Wow! Your story hits home so hard because I have a brother who experienced similar trauma like you, heck you even remind me of him down to your mannerisms. It literally breaks my heart to see him struggle so much with his mental health because of this trauma he experienced. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I Can see you have a beautiful soul. May God continue to bless you with an overwhelming sense of peace, love and joy.
So proud of your honesty and the man you are!
Your story is inspiring- it could help change peoples lives.
It wasn’t you fault
We do better when we know better.
Wonderful response! Thanks for your encouragement!
This is the first time I've ever been moved to personally react to a video on this channel. Bro, you moved me. Thank you ❤
Sometimes the wrong people are blessed with the greatest gift of life, while the ones struggling to have a baby, cannot. Tragic, really. God Bless you sir.
I don't usually comment on these videos but Nick, your story really touched me! I hear the joy and the peace in your voice and I've never been so damn proud of a stranger. Thank you for sharing such a hopeful message with us, I definitely needed to hear it 🖤
Your awareness, of what happened to you in your childhood is amazing... you are an exceptional human my boy!!!!
You will make it.... find a loving partner and don't look back!!!!❤❤❤
Nick, hearing you say, with such conviction and assurance, that you are happy brought tears of gratitude to my eyes. Thank you so very much for sharing.
Absolutely beautiful interview. Thank you for your words and time -what an honor to hear them Nick! 🖤
I wish I could reach out to this guy. I watch a lot of these interviews and some people touch me more than others not sure why.
I feel this to my core. I wish I had a way to reach out to just talk and let him know he has people who care and love him!
Magnificent story of redemption and rebirth! Thank you for posting!!
Nick thank you for telling us this story. For the first time in my life I feel like I can do this I’m not alone in this world I can’t believe just by listening to someone story could penetrate my life in this way I’ve watched the video twice and I can say you genuinely are my inspiration I’ve watched this channel since it started and I believe it was just to hear this I’m going to try to become a better person, father, husband and feel okay in my own skin I can’t wait to follow your journey I can honestly stay your the inspiration for so many people like us I feel so blessed to have listened to this I will do better I can be better thank you Nick so much and mMark for finding him
Nick, Nick, Nick, I can see it. You are the real deal! Congratulations on your sobriety. I think you speak to the heart of many people. We can all learn a lot from your story. Thank you for your inspiration!
This is the most sincere video Mark has put out. This guy is real!❤🙏 Congrats on 5 million sub. 🎉
To find peace inside yourself is the ultimate. How impressive. Your story is up at the top of the best I’ve heard from this channel. It’s feels like you’ve got so much good ahead of you. All the best Nick
Broken yet very intelligent and cleary loving shame people like him get put through shit like that
One of my favorite videos yet. At the end Nick had me smiling as big as he was. Extremely motivating for me
You try to learn why things happened. You try to understand why people are the way they are and what happened to them. That means you have a big big heart. ❤❤❤
"She broke me down, but built me back up". ❤ You had an amazing therapist. Thank you for sharing your story, Nick. You are an inspiration.
Incredible story, thank you for sharing. Forgiving your mom brought a tear to my eye man
What in incredibly resilient soul Nick is. Thanks so much for sharing.
You Go Mark
You sure earned every subscriber . We love your work. Keep up the AMAZING work.
Keep your head up young brother. Can't rain forever.
This was a really great interview. What a dude. I hope for the best in Nicks future for sure.
Thank you Nick for sharing your story ✨️ You are a strong resilient man. You can help so many people who suffer alone. We are all just walking each other home 💔❤️🩹❤️Sending you love &light ✨️💖✨️🕯✨️
I love a story of hope! Congratulations, Nick! We can and do recover! Thank you, Mark!
Man Nick, thank you for telling your story. I felt every feeling you described it got me choked up. But your positivity and hope is inspiring. I needed to hear something good today, and you blessed me with it. Thank you.
Bless your heart, your story has hit my heart. Thank you for being brave enough to share.