Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The "Friend Zone")
Вставка
- Опубліковано 15 бер 2014
- www.BreakupBrad.com/ - Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?
This is a question that I get asked all the time. It's really easy to be friends with your ex. After all, it's better than nothing, right? However, this usually isn't the best route to go if you actually want to get your ex back.
The first reason why you shouldn't be friends with your ex is because it prolongs recovery. You need to move on after your relationship, and you can't do that if you're still friends with your ex.
The second reason is that you need to make your ex miss you. You won't be able to do this if you're still around your ex all the time. In order for them to miss you, you need to vanish! Just disappear off their radar.
Let's talk about science for a second... relationships and breakups are kind of like drug addiction. Seeing your ex again is like having a hit of a drug -- and it's addicting. In order for your ex to miss you, you need to stop seeing your ex, cold turkey. That will make your ex miss you more.
The final reason is that you don't want to become their emotional dumping ground. You don't want to be their "breakup friend"... you want to be their lover, right? That is not helpful at all.
Need some help with your situation? You can sign up for my 1-on-1 coaching service here: www.BreakupBrad.com/coaching
==============
** More from Brad Browning: **
Ex Factor Guide: www.exfactorguide.com
Brad Browning: www.bradbrowning.com
Love Learnings: www.lovelearnings.com
Google+: www.google.com/+BradBrowning
Facebook: / bbrowning
Twitter: / brad_browning
Patreon: / bradbrowning - Навчання та стиль
Your girlfriend is probably the luckiest girl on earth since you know a lot about relationship. Thanks a lot for all the advice :)
+Jemilyne Claire You meant my wife, right? :-) Thanks!
Jemilyne Claire yes
true..
@@BradBrowning Hey Brad what if you have kids together, and you need to keep taking the child there??Oh and what if he already come asking for you to get back in a week or so?Is that legit or not to be trusted?
In my quizz, I stated that we had daily contact, but this is over a yr later. We didn't have any contact at all for over a month. Then we gradually got started talking again. Now we talk or text about every day, but sometimes it might be a week before we actually see one another. We have never talked about relationships with someone else to each other.
Being friends with your ex doesn't work.
That's right.
The Cowboy 3 years ago I ended a long term relationship with a guy who is now my best friend and like a brother to me
Sammi did you know befriending exes is a trait mostly shown by narcissists and psychopaths....
The Cowboy my ex called me his Bestfriend..😐 I was confused 😭
I totally agree with you. Befriending with your ex is just dumb.
Yep. :-)
I mean, why would they say that to you? Won't they think that you'll get hurt more if you become friends with them and be stuck in the "friendzone" or "friends w/ benefits"?
yea very true😓
they seem dumb and selfish
What if your ex is ur best friend?
I love this channel just because he actually cares! There's so many times i've seen a comment with his reply just below it. You're a wonderful man Brad!
Although not always on a timely manner as I've been very very busy recently. haha Anyway thank you for your support, I truly appreciate it! :-)
Hello can you help me!!
My mom left my dad one month ago because she don't love my dad any longer. My dad has done no contact because he loves her and want her to come back. My mom want dad in the friend zone and she is texting and calling my father every day to see what he doing and she gets angry when his not response and texting angry and coming to our house.
What can my father do?? he wants my mom to move back but my mom will not! He loves her very very much please help!!
Hi Kim! You may be too young to handle this. Perhaps share my videos to your parents or your dad? This link in particular: ua-cam.com/video/P-6MMmmObcQ/v-deo.html
Brad Browning should I tell
My
Ex I don’t want to be friends before I disappear?
What Brad is saying is absolutely true. That's what happened to me when I tried to stay friends with my ex after 7 months passed of being apart ( he was dating someone else when I wanted to get back ) so making them miss you is the key.
Thank you for the support, Sercan! :-)
@@BradBrowning my ex girlfriend getting to her girlfriend why she want be me part of wedding what I do ?????????.
You said everything I needed to hear.
What you're saying is so true. Great video thanks.
Hyeryeong Park You're welcome! Make sure to subscribe, I'd really appreciate it! :-)
So should I ask my ex now immediately after she broke up with me, to be friends or should I wait, like end of no contact-phase?
Hi Brad... this really a learning for me.. thank You.
+Irish Grace Araño You're welcome! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
Sure Brad.. thank you..
Thank you very much!!!! Your work is amazing. I wish you the best in life !!!! Your words have a good effect on me, they give me more strength,thank you again!!!!
+Stela Enache You're welcome, Stela! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
OMG! Its really a great tips & advice.. I really impressed and yea, what all you had said was all trueee😌
I appreciate the support. If it’s not too much to ask and if you haven’t done so yet, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it, too! :-)
hey brad I see my ex every Friday and sunday for church activities how does that work
Hey Sean, you should be watching this. All the tips are here and follow it down to a tee: How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters)
I just wanted to say thank you. Your videos and program helped me a lot !
+Kayla Shane I'm glad to hear that and you're welcome, Kayla! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
Hey! I am so frustrated right now! He asked me to be friends with him but i denied ...but i end up missing him like hell ..and now i am screwed.
I just had to subscribe because you have explained everything that has make me to feel better because my ex is persuaded to love his family members I can't be friends in that anymore I just believe there is no future again within us, thanks so much ur the great❤❤👍👍👍😊😊
Hey, brad! just wanted to say I love your videos but i need your input on something so please do reply. I did no contact with my ex for about a month and after a month he called me saying oh we should start to text again and talk on the phone etc etc. btw this is long distance. I live in NY and he lives in florida and we have hungout a handul of times. i played it cool and didnt show too much interest and he didnt hit me up for a whole week and then he texted me saying how he doesnt want to be in a relatioship right now but i am the girl he wants to marry. Then didnt talk to me for a week and he calls me in a very rude tone of voice saying how he wants to be just friends and wants nothing from me other than friendship. i acted a little emotional because i was hurt and he still flat out said i want to be just friends and thats all. too play it cool i texted back saying ok yeah ur right we can be just friends, so whats up? and that came off of desperate because its like ok ill be whatever of yours just talk to me and he never texted me back and since that day we havent spoke at all and its been about 5 days. please reply and tell me what to do brad. Please and thank you so much!
It's important to give each other space, especially in this case where your ex is showing signs of confusion. A plethora of emotions coming from an ex is somewhat expected when a breakup is still fresh and this is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I've discussed here, watch it to learn a few tips to understand your situation better: ua-cam.com/video/RN6ndJZ0J-w/v-deo.html
so .... i have a question how are they going to miss you if they tried to find someone else ... like if she has company and comfort how are they going to miss you?
That's a great question, Sam. Typically "no contact" will make your ex miss you regardless of they've found someone new or not. However, if there's a new person that's filled the void for them, there are certain tactics that you can employ to ensure your ex thinks of you in a positive light. Go to www.breakupbrad.com
Brad Browning I'm friends with my ex boyfriend and I still wan't him back how do I do that if I wan't him to miss me?
Cara D'agostino Seriously the video above answers to your question. Unless you are deaf, I think you really should listen to the video.
***** >:( I did listen AND I'M NOT DEAF IF U DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!
So why are you shouting? O_O
God bless the girl who told me to search your videos
:-)
This situation is actually happening to me right now,,
Then you'll know better than to be friends with him. Avoid that like the plague and get out of the friendzone, okay? Stay strong!
Brad, I don't talk or contact my ex at all anymore, but she still follows me on Instagram and Snapchat and see's the stuff I upload (which is usually me having a good time with friends and some girls). Does this count as "disappearing"? Should I block them from these things so they don't see what I upload and totally disappear, or is this even better?
checkmyformplease1 As long as you're not contacting her in any way, then yes, this is considered as the "no contact" or what I'd like to call the recovery phase. It only gets bad if you keep looking at her profile to see what she's up to as it can go downhill for you and of course, you'd want to avoid that. :-)
Thank you for all the breakup advices brad this means alot during my heartache days.. I get through alot of depression and when I saw your videos and advices I was seeing hope again..but unlike any other first time newbie in applying "no contact" I screw up sometimes. I dont messege her at all but sometimes I do stalk her facebook pages and react to her posts... I want to ask something im at day 16 of no contact should I be friends with her at facebook or not? Should I unfriend her and all her mutual friends just to be safe in applying no contact?? I hope to get a response.. thanks again brad! :)
Hey Brad, so my and my girlfriend ended on a bad note a few days ago and she had a negative view of me as a insecure and jealous guy. I just landed a job as a therapist and my confidence is riding super high. I asked her if she was already dating someone new and she replied "This is the kind of behavior that separated us apart" and I told her "I'm not asking out of insecurity, right now I'm riding very very high on life and I just landed my job as a therapist". She said "I am happy for you and you are in a great place. good luck to you and take care". I said "Hope all is well for you and the boys. We don't have to end this on a bad note. We're both good people. We can always be friends.". She replied "Yes, friends would be wonderful". Then I reminded her that disneyland is having the pixar fest this friday and if she wanted to go together and just chill. She replied "Sorry, but I'm not ready to hang out as friends. The break up is still new and I need time to heal." I replied "You know somewhere down the line if you're willing to give it a second try, I'm always open to it. Have a great day at work!".. Usually before when we broke up and I said something about giving a second try.. she would say "no thank you", but this time she didn't respond to that one and said "Thank you!" which is over course a reply to "have a great day at work!"
I'm wondering if being able to go out with her as "friends" which she knows I'm not trying to.. since we ended as me being very negative and lack of confidence.. she didn't ask to be friends. So if we were to go out one day and I showed the super fun confidence when we went on our first date (we were friends before we dated). What do you think?
Is that a good sign that she didn't shoot down that offer of giving a second try? and I am also starting my no contact rule starting today since I ended my text showing a very happy side of me.
You're sooo for real my brother!!!! Lol
Hi Brad, I am a gay man. Me and my bf broke up a month ago but he has been contacting me for a while. We play volleyball in the same sports complex and one evening he just came all of a sudden and gave me a hug surprisingly to which I gave a very cold reaction because I was shocked. He wanted to catch up on dinner but he canceled it because of my cold reaction on volleyball court. I somehow met him for coffee and apologized for my cold behavior but I also told him that I cannot be "just friends" with him because it's hurtful. He was crying a lot and said that he wants me in his life but I told him that I won't stay as just friends. Me and my bf are taking this week to think whether we want to be with each other or not and will be meeting on Saturday for dinner to express our decisions. If he says no, I will stop all contact with him. Do you have any suggestions for me?
Basically give yourselves time first. Based on your story, I don't think you both went without contacting each other yet? That should be a priority, instead of confusing yourselves more by meeting up and stuff. For the meeting itself, this should help: ua-cam.com/video/JbEoz81in-Q/v-deo.html
Hi Brad, we met and he decided that he doesn't want to be with me because he thinks we are incompatible. I told him that if we can't be together in a relationship then we can't be friends as we both need time to heal and move on. Since then, we haven't been in contact at all. It has been two weeks. DO you think I still have a chance to have him back? I am not sure if he will contact me. I really love him :(
Hi Brad, my ex dumped me a week ago because he wanted to « find himself and discover the world » (we are both 19). He has a lot of self control and knows that he has to move on to be happy. Does that mean it’s useless trying to get him back as he is in control?
thank you for sharing valuable tips👍
+Pier Andrew Cariaggi You're welcome! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
My now ex-girlfriend and I broke up earlier today. She’s the one who ended the relationship, and she got more emotional than I did. But before we started dating, we were really close friends ever since we were kids. I mean, I’m not gonna go into extreme details, but as friends, we were both always there for each other during our some of our hardest times when we were younger, we always talked out our problems with one another, etc. And hell, that was just us as friends; we were just very close and supportive of each other like that. But her and I really don’t want to throw all of that away😓. Is it still a bad idea to stay friends with her?
It is a bad idea. You both need to heal first. You both have to process the breakup first and go through all that pain and slowly let go of the bad memories...It is a process, but this is what the "no contact" rule is for, to help both of you move forward from that pain. A reconciliation with an ex means there will be a new relationship between you two where the lessons of the past are taken into consideration in order to resolve it to create a better relationship in the future. Does that make sense? Give your ex time to let go of the bad memories, however, this won't happen overnight and for sure takes time, so don't rush. Follow the tips on my other vids, especially this one: ua-cam.com/video/FLeP1eRCkCk/v-deo.html Good luck!
I wasn't friends with my ex for a well but it seem like she got over me so I said let's be friends and we're friends but she does the same things we use to do when we were dating
Well, have you been actively trying to get your ex back? Don’t wait for this person to have an epiphany. Keep track of what you've been doing to see if it's productive or not, as far as getting your ex back goes. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible, at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz Good luck!
@@BradBrowning in
Thank you for this video. I suggested friendship, after he broke up and he accepted it. I then offered to go to the movies together, he refused by being busy. I am now in no contact period. And it makes sense, really. Why would we place ourselves so low as to plead with someone to be with us. It shows lack of self-respect. I offered to meet, he refused, and that's all I can do. The ball is in his side of the court.
You're welcome! I'm glad you're starting to see the importance of doing this. Keep it up and always love yourself first. Anyway if you haven’t already, please like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
Brad, I have a complicated one. my ex and I were together all throughout high school. we talked about marriage, kids, a life together.
I recently moved a state over due to a nasty divorce between my mother and father.
she promised she'd come and visit since I was so far away.
she worked and I made music for a living.
In her free time, she started to not respond to my messages for days and always hung with her friends and never wanted to spend any time with me so I ended it.
she didn't even really care and started throwing tons of things in my face like not being there for her when I always was and was one of the only ones there.
she recently started smoking weed and drinking alcohol with her coworkers and has become an entirely different person. she used to be down to earth and loved talking to me and spending time together when we could. Now, the only time she messages me is when I message her first. I miss her so much and love her more than anything. she tells me she "Loves me in a romantic way but never wants to date me again" but she wants to be friends. what do I do?
I'm very confused and need some advice.
any reply would be appreciated.
thanks.
Hey man, sorry to hear about the breakup and the situation with your parents. From the looks of it, both of you are having a hard time adjusting to this distance. How long have you been in this long distance dynamic? I say to give yourselves the chance to both adjust to this change, since it's a major one. Cut off contact and let her miss you first, all right? The distance may have frustrated her which caused her to act up since thinking about being in a long distance relationship is very different to being in one, when you experience it firsthand. So stay strong. Watch this, too, to help guide you further: ua-cam.com/video/5nfWRJRrnAs/v-deo.html
Brad, dating this guy 5months in Riyadh,he went to meet my family to make our relationship official to my parents while on vacation but when i was back discovered he was with another while im away...i left did not freakout..eventually they broke up after a month..now my Ex occasionally hitting me up but ignoring him..now he stopped contacting me...i believe i love him and want him back but reluctant to make my 1st step...what should i do?
Sorry to hear that. Learn the basics here to help guide you: ua-cam.com/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/v-deo.html and/or read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting, and the psychology of how a man thinks and understanding men in general. Good timing is essential! Check it out at www.breakupbrad.com
smart guy
+deshawn anthony Thanks! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
I have already agreed on being friends. I knew it was a terrible idea but out of emotions I did it. Now suddenly out of nowhere I have disappeared from her life for 2 days. Will it work?
Lots of folks seem to be oblivious about it, so here goes: the "no contact" rule, once completed, is just the first phase. There are two more phases to go through if you want an ex back, and the third is to rekindle/rebuild the attraction with an ex. Learn the basics here: ua-cam.com/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/v-deo.html
Brad, my and my ex were together for 4 years. We were amazing together and we noticed that during the pandemic we became bored and too close together. We couldn’t date since everything was closed and we lost touch. I ended the relationship and we stayed friends for 18 months…literally doing everything together just as we did before minus the sex….
I tried dating…and I realized that I don’t want other woman, I want my ex back..because I want to start a family, I want my “best friend” with me along for the ride. I told her ultimately how I felt and she told me she only sees me as a friend after 18 months and is now interested in dating a pilot….is there anyway I can get her back or is jt over ?
Hi brad first I already said yes for become friends but after I text this to her and cut off contact to her ..Hi , I'm sorry .Actually I was thinking . Being friends is not good at all . I was happy being in a romantic relationship with u . If that wasn't working out then It's probably a better idea spend some time apart . I wish you all the best..take care .please tell me is I did right ??
She said if you want I can delete your number 😰. What should I do ??
As long as you follow through and really cut off contact for at least a month, then yes, that was a good message.
this one happened to me and ot doesn't help at all it makes things miserable
Were you friends with your ex or have you cut off contact yet?
Brad Browning on and off slowly I Turning off my phone it's a good way for me
Brad Browning again I appreciate you giving me a little help or hope thanx
I took this advice and stopped being friends with my ex. I’m the kind of person who tries to make things a bright story but I’m so happy I didn’t stay friends with him :) I’m happier now than when I was in a relationship even.
That's good to know!
i dont know how to move on from it when he says he still loves me and wants a chance sometime in the future but not right now. do i stay friends or completely walk away? he texts me everyday and sill hangs out with me
Kimberly, I think I've just answered your concern on the previous/the same video with you asking similar issues in that comment, so please refer to that. :-)
the breakups made her really depressed and reckless so i was thinking that staying would help her come back to me.. i thought staying would have her keep venting her emotions to me and we'd still be talking and then she'll start finding safety with me and then choose to get back with me
I understand what you're saying, man. I really do. The harsh reality, however, is that most dumpers already have the "moving on" mentality or looking to a new direction by the time a breakup happens or even way before they drop the bomb on you. It’s to your best interest to accept that there's nothing you can do about that for the time being. Cutting off contact for around a month is the best choice because doing the opposite will make you look pathetic or clingy... and those traits are very unattractive…as opposed to being happy. If you act happy, your ex will wonder what he/she’s missing. Quite frankly, who doesn’t want to be around happy/fun people? Make sense now? The bottom line is you ought to show that you respect their decision and you're mature enough to deal with whatever comes your way and that you're taking care of yourself and putting you first - irrespective of what your ex does. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about this at www.breakupbrad.com and pay attention to the stuff I talked about here: ua-cam.com/video/T_W_ilf9x6w/v-deo.html
She's saying that she broke up with me so she wouldn't be a burden to me anymore.. She sees that I'm doing better and it seems to push her further, making her think that I'm better off without her.. I don't know how to stop her from feeling that way
Hi Brad! What if I already finished 30 no contact rules! And we are classmates and see each other everyday, should i talk to him?
The texting tips here will be a good starter: ua-cam.com/video/uN_XAgHjaFM/v-deo.html but make sure you tick off the checklist here first: ua-cam.com/video/BAhMrmw3Sms/v-deo.html This means you take time focusing on the second phase and eventually the third phase when the time is right. This won’t happen overnight, of course, but it’s something you ought to continue to work on to the point where you’re gradually building attraction again. This is what my guide is for. Have you checked it out yet? It's too complicated to explain everything on here, but here's an overview of these phases and what to expect in each one: ua-cam.com/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/v-deo.html Good luck!
What about remaining Facebook friends? My ex didn't delete block or unfollow me. I know this because she's looking at my stories.
It's only been maybe 2 weeks. Can she still "miss me" if she's hovering me on Facebook?
Hey Brad! Thanks for the link you sent me last week. This is all helpful and all, however one question still remains in my head 24/7, is my ex in a rebound relationship even if our relationship ended a year ago and we became friends with benefits after? I found out through social media about his new girl after weeks of us stop being friends with benefits. My heart stopped immediately. I still love him even if it is as friends or nothing at all. But even if I see them together in person, what should I do?
+Veronica Arcelay You're welcome. Thanks for understanding that I can't backtrack though, so I'm going by what you're telling me now. Anyway if it's been a year, and your arrangement had been friends with benefits until a new girl comes along...no, it's not a rebound relationship, sorry. This type of arrangement, considering how you're looking to get him back, should've been avoided early on. You may have became his emotional sponge plus benefits by sticking around. I suggest you consider moving on from this, all right? Take care!
Brad! So I accepted being friends with my ex, its been 2 weeks no contact and I just sent a happy b day msg. I'm in the friend zone. What should I do?!
+ScreamingBanchie This video is for you: ua-cam.com/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/v-deo.html Being friends is a mistake. I've discussed it in here: ua-cam.com/video/5tNRL7dWCTA/v-deo.html You ought to read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after this phase, what to say, etc. at www.breakupbrad.com
Hey Brad, my ex and I just "broke up" a few days ago and after a day or two, we started talking to each other in a fun and happy manner similar to that of when her and I were together. She made a sort of joking question to be friends and I responded in a pretty unusual way. I told her that I have already made plans to help myself and become better, that being said, I think we can be friends under the impression that I do very much want you back, but we can be friends until we see that have worked on those things. I have asked her if my proposal is clear and she does completely understand that I want her back. According to her best friend (who is also my friend too) she said that my ex still loves me, it's just that she started to feel like it wasn't as strong as it used to be. She also told me that she wanted to be friends for now because she didn't want to hurt me anymore and make the relationship too one-sided. To my surprise, the past few days after becoming friends has brought out the nice and sweet side of her again and one thing I noticed is that she has a sparkle in her eye again when we look at each other (in the end of the relationship, she would hardly ever look me in the eye) and I notice her looking at me more often when we're together. She makes kind of a joking reference to things like "we can't do those things, we're 'friends' remember?" I feel that there is 90% sarcasm and maybe 10% seriousness to it. I don't really know what it going on, but could this be a good thing or a bad thing that me and my ex are going through?
NightMareOSU Hello there, this is a tricky situation that you're going through because people don't change emotions overnight... and this is the part where having no contact comes in, to make you both (especially her) think from a clearer perspective. She also hasn't gotten the chance to miss you and you're at risk for being taken for granted if you technically are always there for her. Make sense? The reason for the breakup, most of the time, is likely due to a loss of attraction and from there, it becomes a process to get her back, sometimes a long one at that, but never to be friends right away after a breakup. You need to rebuild it naturally and that takes time as well. There's just too many things that can go wrong and it's usually too much trouble than it's worth if you stay friends right away. It's also important that you don't overanalyze what she says or do -- again, much better to cut off contact first. I have a full-length video at my website that explains how this process works, so I suggest you watch that presentation at @
My ex and I broke up recently from a 3 months relationship that was going too fast. He mentioned he lost feelings and stressed up from having to commit. Currently, we havent talk since the break up but since we are school mates and we work parttime together we definitely going to see each other.. How to go about this situation?
Hello. I've read your book and watched several videos and I have a question. The book talks about after the NC period, to keep things easy breezy and when talking and meeting up, making sure you convey you just want a platonic relationship. So what if he says something like, "I'm glad we are still able to be just friends"? I understood that it is a good think because that gives you time to hang out in hopes to reignite attraction. So I'm a bit confused.
Just go along with it BUT actions matter more, so don't be really "friends" with him, which shouldn't be a problem if you follow the guide down to a tee. Don't overanalyze it! ;)
Me and my ex boyfriend were together for almost 9 months. He broke up with me before our anniversary. And we had wayyyyy more good memories and very less bad. Do you think he'll crawl back after a 30 days or earlier? We've been threw alot together (in a good way than bad). A week after i cried to him and crap he said he doesnt see a future..then 3 days later he said he does but in the far future. Im the best gf he ever had and same with me. He broke up with me bc of the "disrespect" which i didnt see and bc of our arguements. Our arguements were dumb so dumb. People at my age (15) are going threw wayyyyyy worse but he says stop comparing people to us. -__- i love him he says he loves me and says im always his baby. So i feel like there's an 80% chance of him wanting me back. Idk im lost. Help.
Symphony Taylor I've responded to your previous comments, please refer to those. :-)
This is great advice. I’m going to need it. I’m going to do it now.
Great!
what if you and your girlfriend were working on something possibly very lucrative then she leaves but wants to keep a friendship/business partnership
Hey Brad,
I did the no contact rule after my ex boyfriend broke up with me for a week and a half and reached out to him again through text. I didn't talk about the past and kept the conversation upbeat and positive. We've been talking more again but he still seems cold and kind of distant to me. I think he still wants to talk because he always says at the end of the conversation to text him in the evening "if I want". He's also been complaining to me about how sad he is about having lost a "good friend" at the university he is attending and last night he was going on about how bored and lonely he was. He makes no mention of appreciating my support or saying he misses me though...yet he seems to want to stay in regular contact. Not really quite sure what to do at this point? At this point he's treating (and thinks of me) merely as a friend and I don't know what to do to get him to "open up" like he used to. And I don't want to overdo or push anything. He also seems to want me to contact him first and he's only reached out to me first once, what does that mean? I haven't brought up anything about the past and have been just keeping the conversations happy and positive even though he seems to be the depressed one now and it used to be the other way around before the breakup. Do you have any pointers about what I can do to get him back?
kuhlekatze Hello there, a week and a half is too soon to be talking again. Realize his words where he referred to you as a "good friend." I hate to say this but you're making things complicated and in danger of getting in the friend zone or becoming an emotional tampon so he can get over this very breakup with you. 5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back Emotions during the first 30 days of the breakup is up and down, and this why it's best to stay away from him and not interact for a good while. You've simply haven't given him enough time to miss you. I suggest to cut off contact right away and stick to within the time I recommended. There is a time to be talking to him again, but it's not now because as I said, it's too soon. Get my guide so you'll get the complete details (it's too long to discuss on here) as to how to go about getting him back. Right now I really suggest cutting off contact for a month. Watch this free in-depth video presentation on my website for starters: www.BreakupBrad.com
Great video Brad, makes sense. I recently reconnected with my ex girlfriend since October 2020. We've known each other for like 12 years since 2009. I helped her out financially and she paid me back abit. We agreed to be friends. But I still like her and have feelings. Once I got news that she had a boyfriend the whole time and I thought that I might have a chance to rekindle, I was wrong. I Confronted her. Long story short, I did everything for that girl. And if she can't give me what I want, better I fade away slowly and not do anymore favors for her. She wants to remain friends with me. I took it again but I know in my mind I want more. No ultimatum here, me and her booth feel down because I spent way more time with her then her boyfriend these past 5 months. I didnt have sex with her because of covid 19. And I'm waiting on my vaccine first. Should I keep her around still, go cold turkey and not eliminate her completely yet and back of to have another chance with her?? The long history is what keeps this alive?
So in essence, you helped her out financially but what do you get out of it? If you want to take a risk, try to ask her out on a friendly date and see where it goes.
Hi Brad, how do I apply 30 days no contact if we are coworkers, and have to see each other everyday and talk? I am now only talk about the projects we are working on.
Do limited contact instead and keep any limited conversation you have strictly work related. You've got a long way to go but for starters, you can follow the tips here to prevent things from getting even more awkward than it has to be: ua-cam.com/video/GTjEAGJWTuA/v-deo.html AND ua-cam.com/video/dDZrnNh8LOg/v-deo.html
Hello!! My ex broke up with me two weeks ago after a year and a half because she lost feelings towards me. We hung out a few days ago and she says she just wants to be friends and hang out and text like we always do but she doesn't know how she feels at the moment like if her feelings will come back or not. We have planned to go to Japan for a holiday for a few weeks which is in a month and a half and there's no turning back because there's no refund. Should I try the no contact now and not see her until we leave for Japan? And its our first time going over seas together, do you think this holiday trip can bring her feelings back for me if I don't see her or contact her? Thank you!
Yes, go ahead and do that. Make sure you really work on yourself during the time you're separated! :-)
Leon Johnston hey, I’m interested in hearing what happened between you two?
Did u end up together?
Hi Brad. But if I stop being friends with her how can I get her back then? Should I wait until she reaches out first or something? I'm already on the reattraction phase and it seems like nothing works. She only wants to be friends. What should I do?
I suggest you employ the FULL 30-day "no contact" rule and be mindful of the tips in the following videos to help you out: y2u.be/gUBNd6pDINM AND make sure you don't make the number one mistake here : y2u.be/1cBpNrDDHnw
So once you've completed the no contact phase, watch my texting tips on how to re-establish contact with your ex. This is only one among the many texting tips posted across my channel. Start with these: ua-cam.com/video/XonMtLFo000/v-deo.html AND y2u.be/RggluigF74E but if you're still lost about what to do despite the tips sprawled on my channel, then you may want to sign up for my one-on-one email coaching at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching Best of luck!
So I got out of the friend zone with my ex and we Havnt seen each other in a while, we recently started to talk again and seems to be hitting things of good. What do u recommend I do next?
+O. Alfaro 14 shippuden Depends on which phase you're in, man. You ought to read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential at www.breakupbrad.com Watch this to understand what I'm talking about: ua-cam.com/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/v-deo.html
Bro we only have a week left to see each other tho 😷💔
What if they broke up with you over a month ago then randomly text you that they wearing your your shirts to bed that they love you then a week after that let's be friends and hang out? Its confusing
It is confusing. It's all part of the process when one goes through a breakup. Give it enough time where there's no contact between you and your ex for at least 30 days. A wide array of different emotions coming from an ex is somewhat expected when a breakup is still fresh and this includes the likelihood of your ex giving you mixed signals. Watch this: ua-cam.com/video/RN6ndJZ0J-w/v-deo.html This is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I've discussed here, so watch it to learn a few tips to help you on how to go about it: ua-cam.com/video/1kJ1ybuFIHE/v-deo.html
what if im the one who tells him I wanted to be friends for now? 1 week later he told me that he wanted to stay friends too but he never iniate the convo and his reply to mine are cold and dry. i want him back and had done the 'all 3 bad text message' as listed in one of your video to him this week and he hasn't replied to them. should i do the clean slate text then go NC? or i should just start the NC without apologizing?
It's too soon for all that. It's like ripping a band-aid slowly. Don't delay the inevitable. Reference is here, too: ua-cam.com/video/pv_cjzhVKAY/v-deo.html
My ex suggested being friends and I refused and after a month he confessed he loved me but is afraid to try because he thinks we are not compatible, he explained the reasons to me and then he suggested that we take it slow and see where it goes. I agreed with that but after the meeting he didn't initiate any contact and said he is sorry but he will be busy when I did. I also learned he will go to clubbing.
Does that mean he is just trying to keep me around or he really wants to take things slow? He shows all the signs that you said in the signs he wants you back video exept jealousy but I can't be sure.
Buyur Dayım Have you given each other ample space after the breakup?If so, then it looks like things are looking up for you. In that case, make sure that you're patient and avoid making mistakes that could potentially ruin those chances.5 Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Back As mentioned in my Ex Factor Guide, there are ways to take it slow, so become his friend first and never rush it. Do not talk about your feelings and/or about the relationship as he may feel pressured. Also make it a point to end your conversation first and not be too available for him. You don't want to make him think that you're still gung-ho over him, so play it cool. :-) These are just some tips, there are a lot more you could do and this is why I suggest that you check out my Ex Factor Guide at www.BreakupBrad.com
The best thing you do is do the no contact rule that's a healthy thing to do. I I'm doing it permanently. My ex is the one that dumped me how long does it take him to recover how long does it take for a dumper to recover? Do I recover longer? Or does the number recover longer? Now that I'm with somebody else I'm not sure if you saw the relationship thing on Facebook that I'm someone new I feel that me being with somebody else hurt him 😞 and I was told he turned gay he's in the guys now. After he saw that I'm with someone else.
Hey Brad i was in a long distance relationship and the break up wasn't messy or anything like tht but anyways I jus wanted to know how long should i not have any contact with my ex
Wait at least 30 days.
Hi Brad,
Decided to ask this here as it’s the video with the most relevant topic to my issue, I’ll try to keep it short.
Had a relationship, started really well, just rocketed sky-high in the first few weeks and was amazing for the first 2 months. Following that, she detached, possibly because she knows we’ll both be leaving the city we’re in now at the end of June and wanted a less-involved relationship. I couldn’t adapt that quickly to this new thing and we started arguing, finally broke up. she wanted to stop talking for a couple of weeks and then try to be friends when we’re back in town as we both left for holidays.
2 questions: 1. Does the fact that we agreed not to talk diminish the influence of the no-contact strategy? Should I keep in no contact for slightly longer then? And 2. We’re sharing the same group of friends here. Matter fact, we’re in a way holding it together and it almost impossible to imagine that we won’t be spending time together because of this. Supposing that after this no-contact phase, she doesn’t want to get back together. Should I go ahead with the ‘let’s-be-friends’ thing and in time try to get her back or should I reject the idea?
Thanks for your time and consideration
David Alan Hey David, most, if not all relationships start out great because that's the stage where two people are in a "honeymoon phase." Incompatibilities show up later around a year or two and that's where you can see if you two are really compatible and if you have "staying power," so to speak. Anyway it doesn't really matter whether you agree to the "no contact" phase or not, what matters is the benefits you get when you both go through it. No, it's not a good idea to be friends with an ex. Get my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about it at www.breakupbrad.com
So my situation is hard . Me and gf dates for 10 months and just broke up last week . She said she still wants to be friends & we can still text & hang out as friends . But she said I didn’t try enough for her or put her first in the relationship & she said the guys that she’s been snap chatting recently , she said those guys actually try for her & she said it feels nice to have someone actually try for her . Should I try to win her back or should I fall off the map for a few weeks completely and make her miss me organically and do the no contact period for like 2-3 weeks ??? Thank you for your time & response
Trying goes both ways when it comes to being in a relationship. Unless you've ignored her in the past or didn't put any effort, I don't really see it as not trying. With regards to being friends, don't do it, man. She's lost attraction for you and it's a terrible idea to be friends with her. You need to cut off contact for at least 30 days first. Silence is key and here's why: ua-cam.com/video/zw0ChuXCEmw/v-deo.html If you continue being friends right away, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates a rebound in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at ua-cam.com/video/pv_cjzhVKAY/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/v-deo.html but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with bonus materials for texting. Good luck!
Hi Coach, I need some advice. My ex and I broke up about a month and half ago and I did as many said and told her that "I do not want to be friends as I have enough friends, but if you ever want to be my lady please reach out to me." This comes a couple of weeks after asking me would I be okay with friends. One day during her blow up (after I drop off a birthday gift which she says wasnt too friendly like) she states "well its clear you don't want to be friends and says she is blocking me and dont expect to hear from her. It has been exactly 3o days off NC on my end but the twist is I see her weekly at church though we dont speak. Why would she get mad by me saying I dont want to be friends?
A birthday gift is too much and can seem stalker-ish to an ex who's just dumped you. As to being mad, she's just reacting to being hurt and is not a sign of anything really.
Hey brad, what do I do if I tried to disappear from their life but I couldn't stay strong and I came back and now she says she won't care if I leave this time, is it too late or is she bluffing? I found out later from my friend that for the days I disappeared away from her she asked him to spy on me and stuff. Does that mean she still really cares about me? She also said she has feelings for me but they're fleeting fast and she wants that to happen
What I see here is a misalignment of goals, man. She's likely looking for security/stability and you might've blown off your chances by disappearing all of a sudden. Try to see why you're so quick to leave? Watch this, too: ua-cam.com/video/m27TLeyUmwg/v-deo.html
hello brad
you are actually right , i broke up with my girl friend , and i followed your no contact policies, she messaged me after 4 days , i initially said her go away and after 4 days i started messaging her, now she again suddenly stopped talking and blocked me on every thing possible, could you help me , she said that she is 100 percent sure she wants to marry me and now she is giving this hard treatment , she did this twice, . now its been 2 days i am not in contact with her , what shall i do about this . please help me , i really like her and at one stage she also loved me and i dont know what to do .
It’s most likely just your ex’s way of coping. More about that on here: ua-cam.com/video/5UT92IB5ugs/v-deo.html Anyway social media should be the least of your concerns. Focus on all three phases and your ex may naturally unblock you, in time, as you learn to rebuild that attraction and re-attract this ex back to your life.. Here are the basics of all three phases to getting an ex back: ua-cam.com/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/v-deo.html and social-media wise, here (but then again, don't let it become your sole focus) : ua-cam.com/video/D1GpR5MApQk/v-deo.html Good luck!
It has been 3.5 month after the breakup and the friendship has been here since then. She was reluctant to speak to me for the first month but she has been speaking to me for the rest time. I am afraid I got stuck in the friend zone. She is talking about the guys she is meeting in her life and she did mentioned that she has never missed me (without letting me know - heard from mutual friend). I tried to vanish by saying 'if you keep saying about the guys around you, you'd better not speaking to me' but she said no. Shall I go disappear again?
Yes, but this time try to complete the 30-day rule first. Have you been actively trying to get your ex back? Don’t wait for this person to have an epiphany. Keep track of what you've been doing to see if it's productive or not, as far as getting your ex back goes. Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible, at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz Good luck!
but how come you said on the book it's okay to be friends with your ex if you want her back I'm kind of confused now Brad?
+Mama Mia Sorry for the confusion, but these are two different scenarios here. I think you've mixed this up with the second phase which in the guide which is contacting your ex....which is integrated into the process... read the guide again on how to do that.The video you've just watched is IF your ex insists on being just friends, usually right after a breakup, is how you should turn it down....or if your ex keeps friendzoning you. Makes sense now?
Sir we were dating for 15 days now she is telling i cant handle relationship i need a break so what should i do
Since you're asking me, I'd say move on because that person is not just into you. However, Amy North or Kate Spring may have some other tips on what to do about that, so check out their channel, too!
Hey Brad, it's been tough, I did like you said and told her that I had alot going on (a funeral) and I just can't be there (for her) when I do all this stuff and just treated like a dumpster for her.. She tried calling me once @ work and I didn't answer, 1 because I have to maintain it and 2 because my supervisor was right there, but there has been no contract whatsoever.. Am I still going about this the right way??
Hi cypher, in this situation, it is important that you analyze if establishing contact with her is right for you. Does her contacting you make you feel comfortable or do you think you need more time and space? Oftentimes, we tend to always think about our ex's emotions first with little to no thought about how we feel. There is no right or wrong answer about when it is right to establish contact as long as you consider yourself first and your situation. Make sense? This advice is for when you already went through the period of not contacting her at all for at least a month. If you haven't yet, then do that first.
My ex says she wants to start over and be friends again and see how things go. We stopped having sex because I was still too emotionally distraught and kept begging her to take me back, I took a few days off from her stopped bugging her and now she talks to me again, I never bring up the drama anymore because I know it's just going to push her away more. So I just talk to her and try to have a good time she said it's helping her heal and forget, but I don't want to be her friend. What do I do.
Since you're definitely not ready to interact with her, give yourself time first. You need to recover and this is what the 30-day "no contact" rule does. It's a terrible idea to be friends anyway. The boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at ua-cam.com/video/yd6pvNVeHjI/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/v-deo.html but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!
Brad you are the best!
+paomd91 Thank you for the kind words! Oh and if you haven’t already, feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
Hi Brad,
My ex and I broke up about a month ago. We texted occasionally for a week or two but it always seemed to be an argument. I finally sent him a goodbye text that was basically like your clean slate text ( because I had foolishly begged him to take me back) After that I started no contact. It lasted about 3 weeks then I texted him because something bad had happened to me and I felt I needed to talk to him. He was happy to hear from me and wanted to talk more. So we have been talking( skyping) and texting these last few days. The trouble is, I think he is friend zoning me because he always says to me " we can't have a relationship again". But he wants to keep talking to me. I'm not sure what to do. Do I keep trying to get him to slowly feel attraction for me again or just tell him I won't do the friend thing and slowing fade out of his life again? Oh and we are in a long distance relationship.
Thanks
Annie snk Hello Annie, was he the one to bring up the topic of you not being able to have a relationship again...or were you somehow leading him to that topic? If it's the former, he may be trying to convince himself of that, and this may or may not be true. If it's the latter, however, then you have to stop asking for him back or talking about the relationship, okay? Whatever the case, it may be too soon, so try to give him time to reach out to you as well, so don't go initiating contact all the time, okay? Let him come to you. In the mean time, get busy with other stuff and live your life to the fullest -- without your ex in it. Easier said than done, I know, but it's not impossible. Read my Ex Factor Guide so you'll know how to go about this at www.breakupbrad.com
Hi Brad
Me and my ex broke up 2.5 months ago and we stayed friends, we see each other once a week either for a meal or a movie, bowling etc. I didn't know it was bad until watching your videos. Is it too late for the no contact rule?
It's still important to put the "no contact" rule into priority because if you've been in touch after the breakup too soon, then you BOTH aren't taking the time to process the breakup and been acting like it hadn't happened. Burying the problems which had caused the breakup in the first place is the first step towards a doomed relationship. Make sense now? Sign up for my coaching program so I can help assess your situation clearly, look at all the other factors at play and see things you might have missed, then guide you accordingly on a regular, ongoing basis at www.breakupbrad.com/coaching
hey brad, my ex broke up with me 2 months ago and she said she'll still be there and support me and she told me that there's a possible chance that we can come back together later in life and then she told me that "no one can predict the future and that she can't think that far ahead", false hope? maybe, why? because she has another bf and it pains me to see her with someone else. Is there still a possible chance? i'm also doing the 'no contact rule to see what'll happen.
No, it isn't false hope. False hope is her telling you you'll get back together after (insert amount of time) a period. She's just being realistic, man. Just try to keep in mind that the new guy isn’t you and if your relationship had been particularly good for the most part, then you can use that knowledge to your advantage. Your ex is likely rebounding, especially if yours had been a long-term or serious relationship. Watch these first: ua-cam.com/video/TBtb34gy6zw/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/lG2shYI1h9k/v-deo.html But don’t rely on that fact alone. Learn to play your cards right as well. Good luck!
This question is in regards to the last part of your video where you talk about what if you already said yes to being friends. You say to just naturally fade away by not replying back here and there until you disappear. So what's the step after that?
It helps to learn the fundamentals here: ua-cam.com/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/v-deo.html
Hey brad, at first when my ex suggested to be friends I kind of handled it immaturely and said no. Later on that night I apologized and said "My apologies for handling things immaturely, I dont want to lose you in my life, and I of course enjoyed your personality even before you were my gf. Being friends is cool with me, just first I want time to myself to reflect if thats cool with you." Was that a good response? I want her to miss me and see how life is without me. I really want her back and think shes the one, she is just confused at the moment.
+Steven Tejada Still a not so good move, man...because the bottom line is you agree to being just friends. The only difference you make here is not agree to it now, but agree to it later. Make sense? This video is for you: ua-cam.com/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/v-deo.html
Hi Brand am phanes. I have been following u online and i need ur help to ur help either to forget about my ex or win him back that
What if we’re not friends in person at the moment due to the break up, but still following each other social media?
Should I delete them, or continue as is?
No need to delete. Here, watch this: ua-cam.com/video/1cBpNrDDHnw/v-deo.html
Hey Brad, so i did no contact and began texting my ex again. We've had an in person meet up that went well and was friendly and positive. A couple weeks later she said she did not want to be back together because she doe not want to hurt me as bad as she did the first time and when we hang out she thinks she's creating emotions and doesn't want to lead me on and hurt me again. How do i get her to let her guard down and let me in again?
+Chad Denton Something tells me you may be trying to rush things. Why is she opening up the not wanting to get back together part? Were you trying to ask for her back? You ought to let attraction build up first. Two weeks isn't enough time because remember, this isn't someone new, but someone you've or your ex had past baggage with, so timing is key. So give it more time.
Read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential at www.breakupbrad.com
I was only friends with her for 3 days. I couldn't do it because I wanted us back together. So I sent her a heartfelt message that I'm letting go. Though I didn't want to, it was only way we can move forward with growth. Do I wish I can still see her like I used to? You're damn right. She was a damn fine woman, but her insecurities and jealousy just pushed me away so bad. It's about to be a month since I last talked with her.
Hey man, I think I've just answered your concern on the previous/the same video with you asking similar issues in those comments, so please refer to those. :-)
Here's an update, she contacted me after 2 months and she's into a new relationship with this guy who was waiting for us to break up. She's been trying to be "friends" but I didn't really give that vibe. I think the only thing I said to her leaving the door extremely open was im here if you need anything. She tried contacting me again the next 2 weeks and I only gave her a one word response. Haven't paid too much attention to her because I only would want her romantically, and not just friends.
we've been broken up for 3 weeks now and she texted me "we can still be friends!" before that I had to drop something off at her house that was hers. why would she suggest just friends so soon?
Don't be friends with her, man. I have various videos explaining why, so I won't get into details here because I'll basically be saying the same thing anyway. As to your question, the thing with exes, especially the one whose idea is to break the relationship, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope...including talking to someone they're used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it's like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day "no contact" rule, okay? You risk too much by staying in touch and you best not respond unless it’s about something important. Watch this, too: ua-cam.com/video/bSs5qL85cSc/v-deo.html
Hi Brad! Great video! Me and my ex broke up on good terms he initially said it was temporary and he’d want to be friends again and ease back in but that he was just going through stuff. Things got messy from rumors our friends were telling us which made him start to act out. He asked to meet up today to discuss it and he told me he was acting that way cuz he was angry (from lies friends were telling him). He said he wants to give it another week then start hanging out as friends and whatever happens between us happens. Is this good?
It is, at least he's still open to the possibility of a future with you. Got lots of tips here on my channel on how to to that. How'd it go?
how do you move beyond being friends with an ex to getting him back, if he's sharing conflicting messages with me. E.g talking about the good times in our relationship; talking about how he is so torn about being with me, saying that he is still attracted to me, but has doubts over whether or not we should be together due to our co-dependent past. I told him that I want to be his friend but not sure what the future holds for us, is there a way to move beyond this, he tells me that he wants to see me and that with time we can be friends but i want to be more?
It's time to reset things and completely cut off contact for a good 30 days. A wide array of different emotions coming from an ex is somewhat expected when a breakup is still fresh and this includes the likelihood of your ex giving you mixed signals. Watch this: ua-cam.com/video/RN6ndJZ0J-w/v-deo.html This is why I tell people to cut off contact for at least a month first and NOT deal with this ex. You both need to clear your minds first, all right? A breakup hurts both people in it regardless of who has done the breaking up. This is something I've discussed here, so watch it to learn a few tips to help you on how to go about it: ua-cam.com/video/1kJ1ybuFIHE/v-deo.html
My ex dumped me 2 weeks ago and we dated for 2 months but had a very strong bond so she wanted to be friends. We are 22 and she couldn't handle her life and trying to find a career/work on college and she had depression issues and thought it would be best to dump me. She really has no friends and I was the closest person she has in her life including her family and she still comes to me with her problems she's has epilepsy btw. We hungout twice as friends and it went well she said she still loves me but not as much as I love her and that she doesn't know if we will get back together because she doesn't want a boyfriend and wants to work on herself but still wants me in her life. Please help
goo boo It's not ideal to be friends with her if you want her back. Watch my other videos on this as well, there's a reason why I listed it as a mistake, and it's not based on theory but on professional experience. Also watch this: ua-cam.com/video/h2KzCNCwsbE/v-deo.html
Hey Brad. What to do after telling him that I don’t wanna be friends?
We had a great connection but the relationship didn’t last long,the breakup was 5 months ago,he has some issues of not always opening heart to people and when things happen he tend to play calm and emotionless.
After a period of no contact we reconnected recently,we had a few conversations but mainly me telling him how I feel but him acting friendly and less sentimental . Then he told me yesterday he’s up for being friends if I’m okay with it coz he felt he been pushing me away and all. I texted him today said what you taught me and he said he understood
I’m kinda confused about what next,looking forward to your reply
That's fine, no need to worry about that. Since you've already completed the full 30-day "no contact" rule and assuming you did it correctly, then the texting tips here will be a good starter: ua-cam.com/video/uN_XAgHjaFM/v-deo.html but make sure you tick off the checklist here first: ua-cam.com/video/BAhMrmw3Sms/v-deo.html This means you take time focusing on the second phase and eventually the third phase when the time is right. This won’t happen overnight, of course, but it’s something you ought to continue to work on to the point where you’re gradually building attraction again. This is what my guide is for. Have you checked it out yet? It's too complicated to explain everything on here, but here's an overview of these phases and what to expect in each one: ua-cam.com/video/aeGNPBdpnsI/v-deo.html Good luck!
Me and my ex did no contact for a month. Its been 4 months since we broke up. The first two months I was not aware of the no contact rule. I begged to get back together and she wanted to but wasn't 100% sure. We sort of faded away and certain things happened (Met new people). We were both furious at each other, so i Insisted on no contact for awhile. We have broke the no contact after 1 month and she said she does not want to make things work right now. But she doesn't want to have me out of her life completely. Being friends feels like it will build more attraction then not talking at all, because If there Is no contact between us, I know for a fact that she will forget and move on.We aren't like most couples, we were insanely close. I've checked out a lot of your videos, but it seems like no contact did no good for me and my relationship with her, so being friends seems like my only other option. I told her we should start fresh and put the past behind us and focus on the future and happiness.
The "no contact" rule is just the first phase of a three-phase process in getting your ex back. It's not the end game. Anyway if you're very close, then being just friends wont' work. Not until at least you've healed and/or no longer want her back as your girlfriend. You both need to transition accordingly since feelings can't be switched off just like that. So you ought to make a tough decision whether you want her back as a friend or as a girlfriend. Remember, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates someone else in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch these two videos so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, respectively at ua-cam.com/video/yd6pvNVeHjI/v-deo.html and ua-cam.com/video/sS4V4IOcOgs/v-deo.html but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!
would the no contact rule still be possible to use if iv been away from my wife for about 4 months? we have been separated for a month or so and she recently asked to be my friend...I said no! she says she can't trust me and wants to see change but then refuses to see it..so with that being said is it still possible?
This is wife we're talking about here, so the dynamics would change. Most marital problems can be resolved though, but I'm afraid "no contact" may NOT be an option. Instead try to see things from an objective perspective. When did all the trouble started and what has caused it? These may help: y2u.be/WU0yhd3ADXU and y2u.be/W_vzHFqnasM but it's really challenging for me to know where to give you a headstart, knowing only so little of the situation... Sign up for my Mend the Marriage coaching program so I can help take a look at all the other factors at play and find out what’s really going on, monitor your situation, and guide you on a regular, ongoing basis at www.marriageguy.com/coaching
This is exactly what my ex did to me. 'The slowly fade away' trick. He wanted to stay friends so I did and the he started ignoring me. And since it'd been 4 and a half months and it didn't seem to be heading anywhere except me being friendzoned, I told him that we couldn't be friends and he BLOCKED me. It hasn't been a whole month since he blocked but is there any chance that after such a long time since the breakup, he could still come back?
Exes are actually known to do that, hence my warning not to be friends with them right after the breakup. The longer you stay friends after the breakup, the harder it will be to get out of.
How do i respond if she calls me crying saying she misses me and she hates the way we are .. Do i agree with her or keep applying no contact rules?
That means the "no contact" rule is starting to work! Talk to her but tell her you've been busy, but if all she keeps saying is she misses you without ever mentioning about wanting to get back together, then follow through the 30-day "no contact" rule because you'd really want her to miss you for real. And to clear her head as well. All right? See, the thing with exes, especially the one whose idea is to break the relationship, is they also struggle with the breakup and finding all means to cope...including talking to someone they're used to talking to, a.k.a you. What that leaves you, however, is unknowingly becoming their emotional sponge. So if you want this ex back, you ought to let him/her feel what it's like not to have you in his/her life first, so employ the 30-day "no contact" rule, okay? An exception is if your ex is trying to contact you about something really important. You risk too much by staying in touch and you best not respond unless it’s about something important. Watch this, too: ua-cam.com/video/bSs5qL85cSc/v-deo.html
my ex who broke up with me after 2 years texts me once a month to and today after a long talk that he started asked me to go on a date with him "like the old times" BUT told me he doesn't want to pursue something, he just wants to talk with me etc. Is he trying to test the waters or Am I just a friend to him??
Assess the risks first if it's all worth it. Remember, meeting up when you're both not ready will only alienate your ex further, and that's best case scenario. Worst case scenario will land you a spot in the dreaded friendzone. Watch this first: ua-cam.com/video/Jzb18j7ZMPE/v-deo.html but if you're both ready, watch this video on how to tell as well as how tips for you on tipping the odds to your favor: ua-cam.com/video/eJPGrkuQnm0/v-deo.html Best of luck!
Brad I was with a person for 4 years and we broke up for our own mental things, and planned to get back together. During the break he kissed another girl, and since then he was decided he didnt want commitment but we continued to be romantic. We stopped being romantic only because I told him it was hurting me. He is now insisting I just be his best friend, and saying that he wants to grow up with me. All I want is to be back with him. What should I do? If i cut off communication, im scared of him deciding he’s okay with never speak to me again.
Life is or will be taking you in two different directions at this stage. Watch this, too: ua-cam.com/video/2CakOOSwIiY/v-deo.html&lc=Ugw4Ce3x9APUrYfz29N4AaABAg So whatever the case may be, act responsibly yet try not to take things too seriously for now since you may be in a period of growth and lots of changes, including preferences in attitude, personality, etc. Focus on your studies instead, all right? Take care!
My first experience had a boyfriend who broke up with me, on August 8, 2020, because of his pleading and using his aunt’s demise as a bribe trick me into this friend zone, and I still feel trap by it. I was forced to be a friend and I want to get out of this friend zone, his ex-girlfriend Anna ( the girl before he met me) used these video tactics on him and frankly hurt him badly.
she did the right thing and for me will do that on him.
Yeah, don't be friends on him for reasons I already mentioned in the vid.
hey brad, its been 4 months since breakup, i tried evrything , no contact, changed myself, showed her the new version of myself, tried covert jealousy, she reached out to me, but still wanna be friends only, what should i do now?
Friends for now, but don't let that derail you, assuming you've done the first phase (30-day "no contact" rule) correctly and basically had set the stage for this second part. Since you've only recently reconnected, then don't expect your ex to warm up easily. Getting an ex back is a process. Look out for the signs that your ex has moved on, though: y2u.be/TnZzeEIPEik But evaluate things, too. Are you sure you're not trying to rush it? Setting a deadline is a good way to fail when it comes to exes, so I highly discourage it. What steps have you taken to get your ex back? It's time to re-assess those and see what's working versus what's not working. Sometimes, getting an ex back is like trying to fit a square into a circle, but oftentimes, chances are you're letting emotion dictate you and therefore end up making the wrong choices. Have you checked out my guide yet? It’s ultimately up to you to act (or not act, depending on which phase you’re in) on getting your ex back, but it helps if you read it to know that you’re on the right track. Check it out at www.breakupbrad.com
thanks for leading me here. I'll be sure to use the no contact and tell u how it goes:)
+Hope Anderson You're welcome! Feel free to like, share, and subscribe to my channel so you won't miss any of my upcoming videos. I'd really appreciate it! :-)
+Brad Browning I did it :)
What happened in the end?
Hi, I need some advice please.
My ex and I were together for 8 years and he broke it off nearly a month ago. Originally I said I couldn’t be friends with him as it would hurt too much. But then I said I would be as it would hurt for him to just vanish from my life (I now realise this was a terrible idea.) I also told him I can’t just talk to him and carry on, as I’m hurt and need space to move on. I am now nearly in 2 weeks of ‘No Contact’, however I’m worried that he’s just going to move on because at the breakup I said we could be friends. Will the ‘No Contact’ still work? Or have I just ruined my chances?:( Please help.
Sorry to hear that. It's definitely a terrible idea to be friends as he needs to make up his mind. And he can't do that if you're still in his life. See, when a breakup happens, most of the time this means he has lost attraction for you, hence, it's a bad move to be friends with him. You need to cut off contact for at least 30 days first. Silence is key and here's why: ua-cam.com/video/zw0ChuXCEmw/v-deo.html If you continue being friends right away, the boundaries won't be clear and you're technically both free to date other people. Wouldn't it be pure torture if your ex dates a rebound in front of you because you're only "friends" now, don't you think? So it’s not a good idea, especially if you want this ex back. Watch this video so you’ll know why being friends won’t lead you anywhere you wanna be with your ex and how to get out of this trap, at ua-cam.com/video/pv_cjzhVKAY/v-deo.html AND ua-cam.com/video/yd6pvNVeHjI/v-deo.html but read my Ex Factor Guide since that’s much more detailed and so you'll know how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, along with free bonus materials for texting. Good luck!
My ex broke up with me before our 6 month anniversary because she wasn't attractive to men anymore she has Dissociative identity disorder and now she's gay not because of me but because she just don't find men attractive but she wants to be friends really bad but we still love each other very much what should I do?
OfficialMadDogSBG This is all the more reason why you should be giving her all the time and space she needs to figure herself out first. Focus on yourself and make improvements in your own life since you really can't control who she'd be attracted to in the future. Good luck!
What if you they are pretty much dating someone else and its not a total rebound relationship? Are you supposed to be friendly but distant like you said? How do you not get stuck in a just friends situation?
One thing that most people don't realize is that they hold the key. Have you been actively trying to get your ex back? Don’t wait for this person to have an epiphany. If you want your ex back, then keep track of what you've been doing to see if it's productive or not. Here's a quick overview: ua-cam.com/video/xgR03RcU8mw/v-deo.html and it's best to go by the golden rules here: ua-cam.com/video/1kJ1ybuFIHE/v-deo.html Have you checked out my guide yet? It may be time to revamp your techniques. Before anything else though, take the free quiz on my website to gauge your chances of getting your ex back. Answer as honestly as possible, at www.breakupbrad.com/quiz Good luck!