Getting a Massage
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- Опубліковано 30 сер 2022
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Twitter: nethistorian
Patreon: patreon.com/internethistorian
Storymode: / @ihstorymode - Комедії
![Exploring the Japanese Kitkat Forest [Old ITF]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/h-h9cpm1vD8/mqdefault.jpg)
wait you were recording our dnd sessions
Historian’s a bad DM, he for sure railroaded you towards the receptionist NPC @ 1:20
Can I be part of the group?, I can roleplay as the receptionist in the first part~
Lul
Your dungeon sessions you mean
haha who's a monkey?
Imagine making a joke about the Queen dying a week before she actually dies
Ih is acting sus
Hhhhhhhhhhh
Dude for REAL 😂
I know I wonder how he feels haha that's crazy. Glitch in the matrix!
Northern Ireland's been at it for centuries so nothing new
One day we're going to find out that Raycon and NordVPN never actually sponsored Historian, and he was just making the ads out of passion
Pishon
It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message
would be a twist of the century honestly
Nord does have a lot of angst whenever Historian sponsors them!
& RAID
"you're identifying yourselves as aliens?!?"
"i would encourage you not to ask stupid questions"
😅😅😅
this is the kinda banter hollywood could learn from
i am extremely impressed by sumito's ability to immediately respond to whatever bullshit IH comes up with.
They are both amazing at improv
@@bon12121 Not as good as Steve the improv guy though
@@silverfox4542 you’re dead!
There might be a little bit of pre-planning but that still doesn't take from the entertainment.
@@silverfox4542 ehhhh no you're dead!
“I’m all out of ideas for videos” your show is just picking a random topic and then proceeding to not discuss that topic for twenty to thirty minutes. That being said, I’m excited for this new series. Can’t wait for the next episode in ten years 👍🏼
This really is the best part of In The Field in a 25 minute video! The improv and the dumb solutions to the questions they ask themselves are just too beautiful to not make it it’s own series!
I really hope we get more of this content soon, since yk- Internet Historian has an idea now!
For real. Just talk about the American civil war, or the history of firetrucks. Go job hunting in mongolia. Whatever.
It’s not even that.
It’s picking a random topic, going insanely off topic and rambling about whatever comes to mind for 30 minutes. 😂
Agreed. He hasn't had a proper video idea that he's come up with earlier than 30 minutes before hitting record in years.
REEEEEEEE
As a Norwegian, I can confirm that is a 100% accurate Swedish accent
As a Finn, I can confirm that it indeed is a 100% accurate Swedish accent.
As a swed i can confirm that is a 100% accurate accent
@@Emlif As a yet another finn, I can verify that's also how every swedish massage ends.
As an Australian, we're all cartoons to Americans
@@95JakX as an American: I didn’t know Austrians made cartoons?
"Beans on toast is not a real food"
Sumito chose violence, and he chose wisely
Beans with breakfast makes so much sense once you finally try it. Now it's not breakfast unless I have beans with my eggs and sausage
@@gyromurphy nah the brits are food terrorists
I mean beans are a really good low fat source of protein. They're actually better than sausage or bacon.
if there is something worse than beans on toast, that´s mushy peas
I love pork and beans on toast
I love how as a DM, IH just ignores 90% of what Sumito says unless he finds it funny
That is top-tier DM-ing.
I love how you guys can basically accuse your sponsors of warcrimes and still get them coming back for more. Livin' the dream :)
yes
War crimes, slave labor, shady business practices, murder. The list goes on
They also tip with edges of paper, and people clap when they do. Now that is class!
Sigma grindset
Don't forget slavery!
“I want him ded”
“..”
“I want his family ded”
“..”
“I want his potted houseplant ded”
“NOOOOO MY SUCCULENTS”
Man got priorities sorted
The bank bit actually happened to an old friend of mine (not millions of dollars, but a few thousand) and he spent it, then they took him to court and he had to pay it all back and nearly went to prison. Don't do this, the best thing to do is admit their mistake to them. Not trying to bring the mood down, just a word of advice if it ever happens to anyone that reads this.
Nice try , Mr. Totally not a bank employee.
But but the Evangelion reference was funny.
If 100m went in my account I would still get the interest yeah? I'd leave it in there till they found it.
This actually happened in Japan this year. The covid benefits that were supposed to be distributed to everyone in a town somehow all went to one person, and he switched the money to a different account.
1) invest in property
2) pay the bank back via the money from investment
3) profit
4) go to federal prison bc this probably doesn't work
First Jontron foresaw Notre Dame's burning, and now unfortunately this RP session foresaw the death of Queen Elizabeth barely more than seven days later.
Hurry Sumito, get to England. You have an empire to run.
Edit: He changed the name. We're not getting more of this. I am now sad.
When did Jontron foretell the burning of notre dame
@@chrisnicolet8910 about a month ago, the "future" video I believe
@@chrisnicolet8910 three years ago
@@chrisnicolet8910 in the Doctor Ho video.
Summito for King!!
"Now everybody knows that they only ring the bells when someone important dies: the queen. She had too many beans on toast and she exploded." ...welp that aged well 😅
It aged like beans on toast well.
@@carlosc8329 lmao, yes.
RIP queen
Something tells me that IH knew... 🤣
Oh noooooooo
Can't believe internet historian killed the Queen like that...
Honestly, your channels (emphasis on CHANNELS) are the only ones I never skip the ads because you actually put effort into them. I know I've probably said this exact thing on one of your other channels as well (not word for word, but you get the gist).
🙏 ty
@@IHincognitoMode very tasteful ads. delicious for sure
@@IHincognitoMode How the hell did this one get through though? Do they just not watch them?
Another guy who puts effort into ads is Drew Gooden.
21:10 a little correction for you - there's actually a Chipotle 10 mins walk from Buckingham Palace
A littlerer correction for your little correction: The Chipotle is a 35 min walk from the Buckingham Palace (aka: The Kickingpigmeat Palace), Although, it is only a 10 min drive, given you're able to avoid, if present at that time, any bean spill slicks on the roadway.
IH: “Right. I’m all out of ideas for videos…”
Me: “What an entertainer. What an absolute professional.”
Absolutely riveting and enrapturing content , I do declare
The thing is.. this isn't even an original idea. Check out haunted house w/sumito. It's real cool but they only did one ep
these guys are top comedy tbh, I always laugh at icognito/ih videos idk how they can be soo good
Prophetic genius of improv comedy… DaVinky of relatable absurdity, Pikaso of abstract realism.
yes
Just like the horror stories, IH definitely has a soft spot for just taking Sumito's plans and throwing them in the bin.
Just like babies, IH definitely has a soft spot in his skull
yes
he would be a terrible dm what a railroader
@@greencoatt they are so fun to force your thumbs into
i just love this up and down movement that represents talking with the otherwise static pictures of people. and there is a indication of pixels for some reason. perfect
Holy fucking shit.
16:16
I just realized Internet Historian predicted the Queen's death about a week before she actually just croaked.
It's easy to make accurate predictions when you're an insider.
@@mooseolini1447 * Did the deed
IH did it
I mean he probably made the video over the last 2.5 years so it’s not really that close 😅
@@akuji1993 That's a damn good point.
the little eyebrow raise when sumito said he wouldn't file a complaint was absolutely hilarious
In that moment Mr The Internet Historian Esq. concocted the final scenario
Well, he got a free massage though… 😂
Everything Sumito does and says is hilarious
"I want his family dead"
Sumtio (crickets)
"I want his..... potted plants dead"
Sumito (Pained screech) "My succulents!"
Succulents are rather charming... and yummy
@@PandemoniumMeltDown Eveyone's cattle may have gotten nuked by the drought but my purslane is doing just fine.
This turned into a mystery/drama/thriller in ways most tabletop groups could only hope for
Scenario suggestion: You predict the death of a monarch with eerie accuracy and thus find yourself on an MI6 hitlist.
If this is secretly I.H. testing the waters for a future D&D session with a bunch of UA-camrs then I'm all for it. Love how Sumito seems to know exactly what to do in most of these scenarios.
Please god no
I'm so ready to watch IH takes a small group of his prior guests on a wild one shot.
please get jon tron involved if you do
both experts at improv at this point lol
God I'd love if Internet Historian and the gang ran D&D
Everyone’s amazed at him foreseeing the queen’s death, I’m more impressed he got away with that Raycon ad.
Yeah he straight up said that raycon uses child slave labor and raycon still gave it the green light
@@cetourigny i came here looking for this comment
@@cetourigny child slave labor isn't a big deal to raycon , they use child slaves to make their products after all.
@@cetourigny truth in advertising. Child labor, but good for the environment. lol.
@@adamnichols476 I'm more surprised they actually allowed him to show the fields
Worst case scenario is excellent! This should be a regular feature with different UA-camrs
That would be epic
23:38 “Listen are we talking like 24 hours of gay sex or are we talking like twice a week ‘married couple best case scenario’ sort of scenario?” LMAO 😂
Sumito:" I shall make a average normal decision"
IH: "No, no you will not"
The fact that the aliens can take on any form and he didn’t suggest they take on female forms is fantastic.
I mean, they would still have the massive shlongs, wouldn't they?
My thoughts exactly
Gayliens
He can come up with the craziest responses to IHs crazy shit stories but couldn't think of that huh 🤔🤔🤨🤨🤨
Anime wamen is real and they're all aliens.
I would like more of this type of series, please
Let's start a petition
I had no idea there were such a thing as a Swedish massage. In Sweden, most massage places just say Thai massage.
That's cause swedish masseuses slaps asses.
Those are separate…. Painfully badass
Well yeah, you're in Sweden so they logically won't preface it as a Swedish massage. It'd just be a massage.
Same in Germany. All we have is Thai massage
I like how IH could have definitely found a limitless supply of actual photos of the Queen's Guard, but instead he opted for the cheap Halloween costume. Brilliant.
Photos that can have copyright
@@christiangonzalez6945 And photos of halloween costumes don't? (hint, they do)
I don’t actually know how they record these but it seems like Sumito comes up with his responses right off the dome and it’s just gold. He’s a genius. Dude’s fuckin hilarious.
He's so damn good at improvising a funny response.
He's a funny guy. Enjoy his twitch streams too.
As a Japanese person I just love he answers the phone in Japanese. MoshiMoshi!
My succulents!
@@SaintShion He did it to throw off the bank lady.
Sumito is by far Historian’s best collab partner
I watched this video so many times, and I always lose it at "NOOOOOO my succulents"
Like, the pain in his voice is so real lmao
I love that we're finally getting a sequel to the D&D segment of the travel episode.
I saw this as a sequel to the horror episode where he curates a haunted house experience with Sumito
@@PANCAKEMINEZZ Yes!
I was quite intrigued with Sumito's last choice, he could have done better. The alien clearly stated that they have taken a form known to humans, meaning they can transform. If Sumito asked the alien to transform into a hot anime girl with big boobs, it might have listened, and he could have avoided the eternal gay sex.
I'll just assume Sumito didn't actually want to avoid eternal gay sex. "Omg, I'm so bothered by this ^-^." - Sumito, probably.
"We have no concept of male and female, but we all have big penis involved." Sumito understood that they weren't talking about his.
Or they'd have transformed into futas. Is it still gay though ?
@@Texelion3Dprints NICE
Even if he did ask them to do that, all the aliens still had male genitalia lol.
20:00 the entire part with the guards was so fucking funny. “we lay down our liiiives for you sumito…” as he slowly rotates and flattens them
You need to do more D&D videos this was hilarious
I love how Raycon basically paid him to advertise their poor labor practices lol
I'm sure the toddlers are paid fairly
An ad is an ad is an ad
Should’ve known my raycons were mixed in cement.
@@thaliacrafts407 whats a pay?
@@whereamigoing777 they get to live
If you ever get abducted by aliens, ask them where my keys are.
Please make more of these sir, watching these makes me so happy
It’s amazing how they predicted the queens fate a week before it happened. She definitely died from beans on toast.
*Sumito got a bowl at Chipotle with a tortilla on the side.*
*He's a smart, savvy man.*
they charge extra for the tortillas now.
@@TaranVH Is the salmonella still complimentary, though?
@@TheMusicalFruit Of course. They can't charge extra for something so integral to their business, after all.
@@TaranVH Only 0.30 cents though
There is no way the sponsor actually watches these if they keep paying you. That was like 10 criminal accusations in just a few minutes.
Yeah but IH's ads are some of the only ones I stick around to watch, so it's probably worth the money paid, even with the criminal accusations.
Money well spent. There are people out there making whole ass compilation vids of his sponsored segments 😂
I assure you they watch the ads, they just also get like a fuckton of people using the promo code so it doesnt matter. theres no chance they do ads on channels with 2 million subs and dont bother watching them, IH is known for trashing the sponser and making them look crazy so they know beforehand dont bet for a minute companies just spend tons of money on an ad and dont have someone check it out.
I'm guessing some people at the sponsor offices are huge fans of IH and give him blank checks whenever he asks. When their bosses ask why they're giving him so much money, the employees say that he got them 1 hisillion sales.
(Note: a hisillion is more than a grumillion and morbillion.)
@@maicey_t. Can confirm. IH's ads are the only ones I watch.
16:12
That one didn't age quite so well.
Only OGs remember when this was called Worst Case Scenario
It was made not even a year ago tf u mean og
@@davidlz830bro is just being mad bro cap. Bro be bussin bro fr bro was yaH yeEt bro
@@gram. ...I-what?
Fun fact: The Throne room shown in the king of england story is actually the throne room in the royal palace in Dresden, Germany. So Sumito was not king of England, he was Prince-Elector of Saxony, which is arguably a cooler title
What is this I heard? Somebody wants to have Saxony? Deal. Oh Sir, I dont need to know your offer for Saxony. I'm sure it will be fine, so good luck with it. haha
Sumito Sack Son, I live the sound of that.
Almost the elector of Sexony. One step away from greatness…
On this episode of... In... The... Comments.
But do the Saxons have *Chipotle*?
I'm impressed with how well you can express sumito being done with your shit at the end with a single png and photoshop
yes
Guess the queen liked this dnd session so much she decided to make part of it come true
The queen dying means Sumito is currently in that exact scenario.
The only person who can make an ad joking about the sponsor having child labor and get away with it
I just found the Nova enjoyer out in the wild
Internet Historian makes a scenario in which the Queen dies. A week later, the queen dies. All hail our new King, SumitoMedia.
"Ok what do you do now?"
"Go to chipotle."
Unironically the best thing he might've done.
I hope pt 2 comes this is easily one of my favorite videos on this channel
I am glad that Sumito came back from the dead
that’s what i’m sayin
I like sir sutimotio very much
I am glad that aliens came on Sumito's back
@@mitgliederversammlung2183 I think IH does too. Sumito has to be the most prolific guest on Incognito Mode.
Sumito answering instantly to IH weird scenarios is hilarious.
do you not know what editing is?
@@Gyohdon Do you not know the difference between "hilarious" and "definitely what happened for real"?
yes
@@pangadajski7687 nothing in his comment suggests sarcasm
@@Gyohdon doesn’t change a thing, the video is still funnier because he answers immediately, real or edited, same thing.
Scenarios for future sessions:
* Archeologist sumito goes to an obscure part of the world for a hidden treasure and must escape a booby trapped area to retrieve an item of great importance
* Traveling across the ocean when the vessel breaks and how to get out of bring stranded
* Sumito walking down the street from his house to just grab something real fast, does not have any survival equipment of any kind, when he falls into the backrooms
* Sumito in interstellar
* Sumito becomes the top sumo wrestlers by disrupting all the norms (first and foremost he is mocked for his small size)
* Sumito wants to become the top fashion designer in 1600s Europe and shares with us his wild historical fashion ideas
* Discovering a unique creature in the Amazon
* Becoming a graduate level professor over an obscure topic
* Inventing a new energy source
* Discovering the cure for bad breath
* Naming stars/constellations
* Hire me, I have good ideas*
Man spoke the Queen's death into existence
I can't stop laughing at the assumption that Prince Charles is just trading places with Sumito, for the few seconds before he drowns in cement.
"there's a hole in the ground?"
It is a simple set up but it still impresses me where he took it, also love how Sumito managed to somehow turn things in his favor when IH though he lost the scenario.
dude it was Sizable Benjamin
9:50
Really quick thinking on Sumitos part to say he was only worth 98million to make it seem like they got all the money back
The title definitely changed right?
I think a few scenes got omitted too- I swear I remember there being a segment about Photoshop and a computer repair store or something
@@Preacher_ActualI think that was from rejected
@@Preacher_Actualthat was in REJECTED.
Your timing with the King Charles story is tragic, scary and sad but also impressive
As well the queen
His timing on the prediction for the queen's death was really close
@@caprishy She never stood a chance against those beans.
They better watch out for potholes.
And funny
16:16 The exact moment Internet Historian Predicted the Queen's demise exactly one week before it happened. Dude, I thought you were supposed to document the past not predict the future? Who wants to bet "too many beans on toast" is what's going to show up in the autopsy?
Shouldn't have had all the beans on toast.
I can’t believe Sumito is the new king of England
there's only so much history to cover, IH had to start covering the future
He clearly exploited the use of the Australian being a day earlier
He also predicted the rona toiletpaper shortage
Actual queen prediction wtf
Sumito's superpower is just rolling with whatever.
Scenario idea:
Player is driving along a desolate stretch of road & is pulled over by a cop who is extremely lonely & mildly delusional after years of patrolling an area practically devoid of humanity. Player is running late for an important event (grandpa's wedding perhaps?) & cop is determined to hold player for questioning/companionship for as long as possible. Player needs to find a way to resume their journey without upsetting the officer, who becomes more paranoid and possessive of their new 'friend' the longer the conversation endures
Oh that is brilliant
"Wanna come with?" And now it's a literal "buddy" cop film.
@@gunnarschlichting9886 this would make a great fanfic au
Contact Jordan Peele immediately. This is a great idea
porn DLC optional?
Y'all just need to accept that you're forever the most complimentary duo and embrace it. Because I swurr there aren't enough Incognito vids rn, Sumito is showin' you up.
I've actually been binging Sumito, ManyKudos, and OrdinaryThings videos for the last few days
The cow killer is also neat
Sumito and Ordinary Things are fantastic, Many kudos too
my internet started buffering right after the gasp at 18:53 and i thought it was just a really dramatic pause
8 days after this was posted the queen really did eat too many beans on toast
I killed her. But I was just trying to get IH's attention.
I like how after reaching Thailand, sumito immediately tries to go to Singapore, arguably the worse place to be when trying to evade capture
Not to mention expensive af
Explains why he instantly left for Seoul
Care to elaborate why? I need the info for a class project
@@chinsaw2727 i don't know if you're serious but singapore is the economic center of asia with alot of financial connections to western countries. Theyre also really strict regarding immigration so youd be noticed immediately. If you wanna hide go to thailand and cross the border to cambodia, they dont give a fuck.
No you're trying to evade the law criminal
So the opening scenario is pretty much the exact thing from the IT Crowd where roy has him bum kissed. Sue them.
Oh hey red means recording
Instantly remembered that episode when watching
oh hi there
Im now convinced this guy is a time traveler
The queen really did have too much beans on toast.
"The Queen - she had too many beans on toast and she exploded"
Accurate as of 9/8/22
I feel bad for Sumito. He's forced to play out IH's fantasy in real life.
I love the "Congratulations Shinji" moment the editor threw in there. Beautiful.
Internet Historian predicted the Queen dying lol
“I’m all out of ideas for videos”
*Proceeds to create the best video format on this channel that will probably never get another episode till 2024
The only thing better than this was the horror movie hypothetical video. One day we will find out what ever happened to those 2 crucified tenants in Sumito's basement.
oh look they made another one in 2023
IH: "What do you do now"
Sumito: *chooses a perfectly reasonable option*
IH: "nope nope nope" *chooses one answer that sucks for him*
I get the feeling from that Raycon ad that he knows full damn well how shit Raycons are and wanted everyone to know it while still securing the bag lol
Personally, I'd like to see a video where IH talks about reality. What is reality, do alternate realities exist, Mandela effect, simulations - stuff like that. I think it'd be interesting and extremely funny, especially if IH brought Sumito or JonTron on for it.
I love these storytelling segments and I'm glad we're getting more. The horror movie one is still one the funniest videos I've ever seen.
I can't remember, what was the horror story one?
@@bigidiot8902 It's on one of his side channels I think possibly the live one?
@@teira1336 thank you, found it, a fun one
I'm a humble woman, so I typically don't ask a lot of people, for fear of disappointment, or coming off as a burden........that said, FOR THE LOVE Of GOD, please, please, PLEASE make this a reoccurring thing!?!? This was pure gold, and gave me some of the best laughs I've had in ages!?!? Loved every second of it, and am not ashamed to say, I DESPERATELY need more!!!!
The only person on the net whom i hear that i actually listen to the ads and don't skip or actively block
18:23 was? Did they know something we didn't know?
I like how sumito proceeded to win the massage scenario from the start just by walking away
Starting off with the end of their weekly D&D session. This is gonna be wonderful.
It’s been confirmed. Internet Historian plotted the Queen’s death for these sick war games.
Historian and Sumito vibe so perfectly
Scenario: Sumito encounters a time traveler from a dystopian future that comes to warn him of great danger, but then trips, bangs his head and beefs it, leaving Sumito a perfectly functional and easy to use time machine! (He was there to warn him against the gay aliens, btw).
*He trips, spilling water all over you. Another time travelor steps out to help, but also trips and spills water on you
How did you predicted the Queen's death a week in advance, when everyone had just thought she'd live forever??? Well congrats Sumito, you now actually are the king! Cheers mate.
16:11 That unfinished *_"SIIIIIH"_* is one of the funniest things I've heard all day!
WHERE IS WORST CASE SCENARIO #2!!??
Sumito: I go to chipotle
IH: You have just committed wire fraud...
Sumito: did I stutter?
16:20 this aged like fine 7 day old wine
i love how he implied that raycon uses child labour for their product but they still sponsor him
The fucking timing that this video came out is impeccable