Monitorama PDX 2024 - The Hater's Guide To OpenTelemetry

Austin Parker's session from Monitorama PDX 2024.
"If I have to watch one more talk that references xkcd 927, I'll drop our logging db myself."
"The only thing I need to trace is my path out of this building at five o'clock each day."
Hacker News comments or your personal thoughts on everyone's favorite observability project, OpenTelemetry? The answer may surprise you! In this talk, levity will be enforced and the takes will be piping hot, as you learn about the many ways that OpenTelemetry has been completely abused by the commercial 'observability community', why it didn't have to be this way, and how in spite of the best efforts of many millions of dollars in marketing pablum it's still a pretty good project.