How I felt growing up as a donor child - Emma Grønbæk
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- Опубліковано 14 лип 2024
- Danish Emma Grønbæk is donor-conceived with help of an anonymous sperm donor. She has always been aware that she is donor-conceived as her parents have talked to her about her biological origin from early childhood. In this video she shares her thoughts and experience growing up as a donor child. One of the things that made a positive difference for Emma was a book that her parents made for her about how she came to the world. The book was read to her as a night time story again and again during her up-bringing.
The interview was made during The Cryos Symposium 2019 where Cryos gathered 200 fertility professionals from different countries to discuss and share knowledge and experiences within topics such as ethics, legislation, the donor children’s wellbeing, donor sperm and eggs and genetics. - Наука та технологія
Im in the middle of accepting a donor to conceive and i am enjoying watching these videos
💯
Same!
I can't wrap my mind around women who want to get pregnant by men they've never met before... it's fucking disgusting.
@@salem587 Women get pregnant by men they don’t like, arranged marriage, mistakes, assault. In the end it’s a beautiful child that is created. Your nasty comments are not wanted.
I am also considering. How is it going for you?
Thank you for sharing your view. I really appreciate that. I am considering donor egg at the moment and might not have a choice but go with anonymous donor, which worries me. But maybe I am worrying unnecessary. Thank you. More positive stories should be shared on Internet.
This is honestly propaganda, most donor conceived people advocate for non-anonymous donation.
It is better for the child if they are given the option of making contact with the donor from the age of 18. This helps them to understand their identity better and to not feel lost. That does not mean they will necessarily choose to make contact with the donor but they will appreciate the option. In the U.K. you can only use ID release donor eggs and sperm. Also be aware that through ancestor gene checking websites half siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and even genetic parents can be found..so full anonymity is really coming to an end anyway.
Genes are important, as are you the parent. Wish you well.
Hello. How is it going for you? I am also considering.
I plan to tell the child as soon as she/he can talk. However, I wonder what should I do about other people. I'm willing to talk about it openly, with friends and family. It means it will not be a big secret and it will be celebrated as a positive thing. However, I worry that people and their kids are not well educated and talk about it in a negative way and it affects the child if she/he listen to it.
Just seen another video of a donor conceived adult airing her negative experience because she wasn’t told until 25. Here it’s clear as long as you’re honest and make it the norm early on it will be a positive experience.
Not true for me
@@sage8084 yea
@@sage8084 What happened?
unless you have 100 local half siblings which is often the case. even dating a half sibling is not that unusual.
Please don't go anonymous 🙏 I'd love to know my dad or at the least learn more about him but he's anonymous...
(More options is better than less)
😂
Dads an donors aren’t the same my bio dad will never be my dad he’s awful and abusive
@@Squishy-ho7zd sorry about your donors bad ~impression
@@Stellarfront he’s not a donor my parents were married. He’s a liar and should never have be Able to have more children or allowed near women he’s a sick freak
Donor conceived that can contact their donor, because their donor is an identity release donor, can also choose not to. However the other way around, those that want to contact their donor but can't do so through a register can only try using DNA testing. However such a path creates more challenges, while simply doing nothing in case you're not interested in contacting your donor is very easy.
It also depends on how powerful the need for knowing your biology is. There may be an innate subliminal push to be with or know your genetic father. There are many cases where kids grow up knowing something was off only to be told later that their father isnt their real father. They know it despite not being told. If its true then a child should know their father
I agree 👍
Its not their father though, a father is one who raised
Start with a simple story before they are 3 years old… like we had to get help from another very kind man or woman to make you. Make it joyful. Then gradually explain with more detail as they get older. But don’t go on and on about it and encourage the child to express their feelings and ask questions so it is clear to them. Their parent(s) are the ones who raise them.
They should be admired and love unconditionally
May I know the name of the book please ?
Think she said her parents made the book. But there are books available at online bookstores
at the very least it should give the options: do you want to conceive with known donor or anonymous. But I think having the option to know the donor is important for the kid. The law, as per usual, is way behind the science on this one...
that'll be the quickest way to dry up the donor pool
In the U.K. the donor can no longer be anonymous when the child turns 18
Bullshit how she says it hasn't had an impact on her life. Everything we experience in life has an impact on how we are. Someone being raised knowing who their father is, is going to be different than someone who has no idea. It's affected her, she just doesn't realize and isn't aware of how.
Every child is different though. Maybe she meant it hasn’t hurt her, rather than no impact whatsoever. If she has loving parents in a stable relationship she may genuinely mean what she says. Many adopted and donor conceived kids aren’t interested in their biological parents. I know one personally and he’s doing fine as an adult. He is open about being adopted and had a strong connection with his parents. We are all different.
She also wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for the donor sperm, for which she is likely to be grateful. Her father is her father, not an anonymous donor.
I would honestly prefer an anonymous donor.
I'm curious to know why ?
It can be reassuring for the child to know they have the option of knowing the donor’s identity when they turn 18, with the possibility of meeting the donor. This does not always work out but at least they can get more information, if that’s what they chose to do.
'Our Story: Hoe we became a family' by The Donor Conception Network is a good one
Be careful with books and not to overdo the ‘story telling’. Think need to be careful not to make the child feel like they are being told how to feel. I’ve heard books can also make a child feel objectified. Personally I think honesty from very young is the best approach. Start gently before they are 3 years old and occasionally bring it into conversation over the years. Important not to make it a big deal and allow the child to express their feelings and ask questions. It’s good if they meet other donor conceived or regular ivf children too, but again don’t make it a big deal. Make your children feel special and loved ❤
and tell them they might have genetic problems if they do not test their prospective partners. serious genetic problems that go on for generations.
Excellent advice. I plan to tell the child as soon as she/he can talk. However, I wonder what should I do about other people. I'm willing to talk about it openly, with friends and family. It means it will not be a big secret and it will be celebrated as a positive thing. However, I worry that people and their kids are not well educated and talk about it in a negative way and it affects the child if she/he listen to it.
I disagree with it being unethical. It has never been a human right to know your biological family. In fact 10% has a different father than what they know of.
I don't say that anonymity is a better choice just that there are pros and cons to both. I do think it is very wrong to assume that choosing an open donor fixes it because then you can just take contact if you want or not. An open donor also gives the child a lot more choices that they need to make and think about.
To me both types of donors can be the right choice it depends on the family. I think how and when you talk about donor conception with the child is much more important than the donors profile.
Well it should be a human right to know your biology. Heck, you are made up of half mom and half dad. It should be a right to know what literally makes you who you are. That should be a very basic human right.
I don't have idea what is like bonding with your real father, sorry
To deny a child the ability to ever know half it's biological heritage is grossly unethical, most definitely not a decision a parent should be making for the child. While it may be true that not all donor conceived children choose to explore their biological origins, to deny it to those that do can be extremely difficult for those children to deal with, causing identity crises and can lead to all sorts of mental health problems. To say it has never been a human right to know your biological family is a nonsense, a child is wired to want attention and love from its parents and will model their behaviour on those they are related to, it is how they will begin to understand how they fit into the world and into their family. To imply there is no difference whether you are raised by people you are related to or not flies in the face of decades of research. Biological origins matter.
Do you know how ridiculous you sound! IT IS OUR RIGHT AS HUMAN TO KNOW WHO WE COME FROM! In fact donor conception is unethical. How is it right to buy or sell your own biological child.
Isa May ✨shut the fuccckkkk up✨
My sister doesn’t want her donor egg son to meet biological mother/siblings. I don’t know if her son feels the same way though.
I don't blame her it sounds messy
It’s up to the child. Parents need to be confident for their children and support this decision.
@@kayc421 then she shouldn't have use the woman's egg
They are more responsible
You were apparently Lied to.... If you are Happy with that then that is your Decision
Children should never come into the world this way. I speak from personal experience. What about the child’s right to know about all the little things the rest of you take for granted? Are we less than human? How come we don’t get the same basic human rights as everyone else? This entire industry should be eradicated.
My dad shagged my mum now I have to live a horrible life because of him . I do wish I never knew him it’s horrible
Following your perspective, what about children that loose their parents at a young age? Abandoned children, children conceived in a forced sexual act and so on? In the real world there is no such thing as justice.
Forget about anonymous donation. Your child will find out. If you have been lying to them their entire life, then prepare yourself to be hated by your child thereafter. The girl in the video is not typical. Perhaps a little genetic engineering was done on her to delete her curiosity genes. Trust me, the rest of us are deeply curious about our biological parent. Some of us, myself included, like our biological parent more than the parents we grew up with. That could happen to you. Growing up donor conceived is difficult. You will love that 1/2 breed less than you would your real child and he or she will feel it. You will treat that kid as less than human, because to you, it was a clinical transaction where money was exchanged. The world would be a better a place if children did not have to grow up as donor conceived. I say this regardless of whether the child knows they were conceived this way or not. The thing is, you will know, and you will treat that child as a lesser form of life.
😂
in England anonymous IVF is illegal. the donors know each child and are accepted as a parent adjunct. they are involved in the upbringing of the child socially and they are NOT paid. This program attracts professionals and career people that might LIKE kids but do not want to raise one. It is a very friendly program where the kids have THREE parents and no one lies to them about who they are. there are NO genetic liabilities since each donor KNOWS all of their children and their sperm and eggs are not multiplied behind their backs and sold en masse like they do in America the human traffiking capital of the world.