In the future it's possible that one of them will do a 23andMe and it will list you as the Mother I'm wondering how that will be for you and for the child if they will try to get in contact they're gonna find out they have half siblings.
Thank you so much for making this video. When I was 14 years old, I was told that I could not have kids. 16 years after being told that I could not have kids, my husband and I are on our donor egg IVF journey. Your video has made me feel better about the process. I too felt the same things you did when you were told that you had to have a child through egg donation.
hey frennn, thank you so much for making this video & having the courage to share your experience. I had a bone marrow transplant 8 years ago & underwent alot of chemotherapy. At the time I was living in LA and had no idea how I was going to pay for my life while I was in the hospital...which I ended up being hospitalized for almost a year during the transplant itself because I had so many complications. Before my transplant they told me that my fertility was at risk but I just couldn't figure out how to get the funds to freeze my eggs. Its SOOOO expensive. Now at 35 I am married to the love of my life and that decision has haunted me. I wish I could go back in time and get a second a job or something to have made my eggs a priority. I wish I would have gone into debt to make it happen because my husband would be so happy. Hell, I would be happy. I did soooo many beauty pageants, and acting classes and all these external things that really don't matter to me anymore--literally spent thousands and thousands. Sooooo dumb. Its true--youth is wasted on the young. My husband & I started fertility treatments but the doctors have told us to stop because nothing is happening. I'm torn in faith. Reading my Bible, knowing that God's promises are true in my head (trying to get it in my heart) but also the evidence of what things are looking like in my reality right now. I don't want to accept that there are no eggs inside me. There has to be just one...just one. I mean look at the abundance outside--every flower giving thousands of seeds before its cycle ends. There is abundance everywhere. I've felt desperation, hopelessness, grief...you name it. To anyone reading this--you are not alone--its the worse most heartbreaking thing to experience. Literally being made a woman --created to LITERALLY create--and your body won't. It's devastating. And to those who had to carry the burden of illness as well------horrible. Be grateful if you were born into a family that was able to help you navigate decisions like that early on & help financially. I don't want to keep waiting though. Every thing you discussed,..I feel. But also immense guilt for my decision. I should have ruminated more on my future. But hindsight is 2020. Your daughter really does look like you. What a blessing. Congratulations!!!! I haven't spoken to our fertility specialist yet about the details of egg donation (he said my uterus looks healthy enough to carry but I hadn't really entertained donation yet) ... but per your suggestion, I did take a peak at the national registry. There were only 4 black egg donors 😳 God is faithful, he always has been...so I'll keep moving forward. This was a ramble...but thank you so much for sharing your testimony.
Sorry for the late response. I was out of the country in a cruise for a while and just got service. Girl, your story!!! Omg I can see why you feel guilt. Do you live in the U.S.?
I have an ED baby. I LOVE him more than ANYTHING. He is my everything 💙❤️I can’t imagine that I could love anyone/ anything more than him. I wouldn’t love him more if he had my genetic.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I just got to know yesterday that i might have to use an egg donor to get pregnant and i wont lie, it came as a shock and left me devastated. Coming to terms with it and trying to wrap my head around this option and your video helps ❤️ i can just feel my baby's soul waiting to come be with us... I hope it works out, here in India only anonymous egg donation is allowed. I trust God to pick the perfect one for us ❤️
@@WannaBeMamathank you, that's really sweet of you. We've started the process, I'm starting to get excited. Really grateful to you for helping women like me, as there are really not many stories out there about this topic. ❤️ God bless!
Your story motivates me. I too live in Europe. But due to so much inflation I decided to travel to India for the treatment. I Choose IHR IVF Kolkata, in west Bengal, India for Donor IVF cycle. In India there is a strict law for the donor to be anonymous. And I find that is very very relaxing. Not meeting the donor in person and judging and over-thinking. The clinic I choose was quite reliable. The prices were very very cheap. Literally penny in comparison to my home town hospitals in Europe. My baby girls looks like me, behaves like me too. No one can tell she is from someone else. I am forever grateful to IHR IVF Kolkata. I still have 4 more blastocysts stored with them. I will travel again to India when my daughter is more than 2 year for second child.
@@WannaBeMama yes... Honestly I was not attached to my child even during pregnancy or even after birth... sometimes I find it hard in my heart. My husband supports me so much. He is teaching me to expect my baby girls, it is not there fault. Listening and seeing stories of women who also conceived through donor eggs humbles my heart.. it is not my girls fault, but it was not my fault either, that I have suffered premature ovarian failure at just 27 years... sometimes I am full of love for them, sometimes I feel I am a baby sitter to someone else child, my husband says you are overthinking.... that's why I have started watching stories similar to yours and mine, to see what others feels...thanks a lot. I know it was a rant... so sorry... Thanks for sharing your experience
Thank you very much for this video. I was told that my last option for having a baby was donor egg today. Even though I had thought about it before, it's still quite overwhelming. I was a frightened, and not sure whether I would be 100% fine with this option. I searched for anybody with such experience online, and you are one of the few. Your story shows me the maternal journal with donor egg can be so sweet, and your words give me the courage to step on this journal. Thank you, and wish you and your family all the best.
I understand everything you said. I cried for a week. We now have 5 embryos using donor eggs. I am not sure when we are transferring the embryos, but I am finally at peace with it.
We had 5 embryos too!!! Twinners! But I’m happy your are happy now and I’m so excited for you to finally get to be a mom. It’s the strongest love ever.
Thank you for this video., I’m starting the process of using an egg donor. I feel the same way as you. I feel like my genes are now forever done. But in all honestly I’d prefer for my husband to have an opportunity to see his own genes and that we both can finally be parents. I’m so unknown about this process but your video relieved some stresses and concerns. Thank you
For those interested: there are clinics in Spain, Greece and Czech Republic for example who offer great quality work for way smaller prices, even with the flight there it will cost you thousands less...
We were going to go to Prague initially but doctors have to monitor you so much and sometimes you have to postpone your cycle. I talked to other women who have gone through IVF and they seriously discouraged going out of country. I decided to stay here and luckily I did because we found out that my eggs were genetically bad during IVF. If I went to Prague and found out that information I might have blamed the Prague clinic and tried another IVF cycle here in the US waisting more money.
Girl…. I know. If you don’t follow me on social media you probably didn’t hear that not long after I got pregnant my mom tragically died and it messed me up. And since I tried so long for my baby, when I finally had her I was so obsessed with her and didn’t want anything to take my time away from her (because I wouldn’t get that time back and they grow sooo fast). But I am back. Promise. I am spending the next few weeks updating my channel with videos I’ve missed - so I’m here if you need to talk.
Thank you for sharing this. I did IVF last summer with my own eggs and it failed. The experience was truly gut wrenching and our doctor said he wouldn’t recommend doing it again and that I should consider using a donor egg. When this was first brought up to me I had all sorts of feelings. I felt offended and went through a grieving process, however, you get to a point where you you stop looking at it as a negative and start looking at it as a positive. Using a donor egg is the only way I will get to be a mom. I desperately want to experience pregnancy and a donor egg will give me that opportunity. Our clinic’s donor program was pretty much postponed due to COVID so we are going through a national bank. We have a donor picked out and are just waiting for the eggs to become available. This should be any day! I sometimes still get sad. I’ll see pictures of friend’s children on facebook and see how much they look like their mom and that gets to me because I know I’ll never have that. But, overall I am really excited for this opportunity and thankful that this is an option for me. I truly appreciate your willingness to share your story. It helps to connect with people who have gone through similar experiences as your own.
I understand your sadness of not having a child look like you. It is a bummer but honestly when your baby is born you won’t care. People ask me all the time if I will try to get pregnant naturally now that I was able to get pregnant using a donor egg, but I wouldn’t even try because I love my daughter so much I wouldn’t ever want her to feel left out if I was able to get pregnant using my eggs and especially if the baby looked like me. But on the contrary, I also have people tell me that my daughter looks like me. So it’s all meant to be. You can be sad about it but know you will feel so much love and joy for your future donor egg baby that you will not care if they don’t look like you. Regardless if they look like you or not, you’ll feel like they are 100% your baby, because they are. I’m excited for you!! 😘
Excellent information. Well presented and I look forward to seeing how the beautiful baby progresses. It's truly a miracle. Thank you for sharing this personal journey.
I am just so happy for you all! I’ve been following y’all for awhile. I’m just getting back to UA-cam and checking out your videos again. I relate with y’all on so many levels. Congratulations Mama!
Congratulations on having this dream baby! I was following your channel when I was trying to get pregnant myself and feel for you. So happy for you and your husband! You made the right choice! All the best to you all!
Great information and video! My donor was tested for 550 different genetic diseases & she was a carrier off 2 different things from my husband. I’m surprised they only tested your donor for 27. Glad you got your baby she’s super cute !
This happened to me. And i felt the exactly the same way. I am very fortunate that my sister is goin to donate her eggs to me. I went through every emotion 😢 possible but we are now in the process now of treatment now and i have never been happier that i might have a happy family 😊
Awe such a happy turn of events to your story. That is awesome your sister is doing that for you. It will most likely work so keep the faith. Let me know what happens🤞🏼
So happy to see an updated video from you, just had my second round of ivf for embryo banking due to low AMH, so excited to have you along this journey. Love from Ireland 🇮🇪 💚
@@WannaBeMama it went OK thanks for asking, first round I got 1 embryo, 2nd round I got 3, I did back to back rounds so it was tough on the body, currently going through the dreaded wait for pgt-a testing and hoping to do a tranfer in jan all going well. I am really worried about the results and the wait is killer but I am 33 so hopefully we may have some normal embryos 🙏
@@WannaBeMama just had a scan this morning and the transfer has been cancelled due to thin lining and I am not responding to meds, feeling a bit deflated but have to keep going. The protocol will be changed in preparation for the next transfer next month. I hope all is good with you 💚
@@annmarieryan2476 I'm sorry girl. One of my embryo transfers was cancelled too because I got COVID, but looking back, I am SOOO happy it didn't work out and I had to wait a couple months. I wonder if you look back after you have your baby and be like "oh... THAT'S why I had to wait." (and usually waiting turns out to be a blessing you didn't even know you needed.) I am excited for you girl! Keep me updated. Hopefully your body will respond better to the meds next time. ❤
Thank you for sharing! I’m in so much pain. My IVF failed, I had just 3 saved eggs and they did not develop to blastocyst stage. I used Sperm donor, so hard to find a match. I’m thinking about egg donor but I’m still single. That sucks as well. I’m 44
I'm 43, and my husband and I are looking into egg donor ivf. I have 2 teenagers, and unfortunately had 3 miscarriages at 40/41. I've read that the chances of successful pregnancy/ivf for someone my age are almost zero. We don't want to waste time, money or heartache trying with my own eggs. There is a woman on UA-cam named TJ from Australia. She's a single mom of a toddler daughter she had using a donor egg and donor sperm, and now she's pregnant again at 50 using the same two donors.
@@Gopher5000 I wish you luck! I have a boyfriend for about 6 months and I don’t know. How to bring this up. I’m so reward for donor eggs and we both want kids, he is younger 40 y/ o but he wants to keep the relationship casual . Says he is scared what if it doesn’t work. I don’t know if I should tell him or not my director told me I’m in menopause. I really like this guy 😞
Hi Dear.. Soo happy to see you back after a loooooong time. Started following you last year when I was TTC. Your videos really helped me to stay calm and have hope when my IUIs failed. The way of your presentation and the positivity are really commendable. Happy that your lil one is doing great🧿❤️🥰. My 5th IUI worked and my baby boy is one month old now💞🧿 wishing your family good health and happiness forever 💞🙏🏽 lots of love from Kerala, India☺️
Thank you so much for reaching out! I’m so happy your dream came true🥰 sorry I was gone for so long. Not long after my last video my mom died so I was trying to keep it together. Then when I had my baby I didn’t want anything to take my time from her (I knew I would never get that time back and I didn’t want it miss anything). But now that she is more independent I have time to make videos again. Congrats again! Enjoy every second 🥰
Thank you for sharing your experience! This is so helpful! We are not quite there, but we seem to be headed towards a decision between egg donation or adoption. Both are great, I think, but adoption can be so difficult and expensive so we are definitely leaning towards egg donation if it is necessary. Knowing you get multiple eggs makes it so much more of a great option.
They are your baby 🥰 It’s just a fear some woman have that the baby won’t feel like there’s. It’s hard to know what to expect until you finally get pregnant and the baby is born.
This video was very informative. Thank you. Would you please do a video on how talk to your child about the process at an early age? How would you explain it to them and so forth.
I just had an egg retrieval yesterday and found out i have no eggs. They told me my only option is donor eggs and I'm scared to death right now and can't stop crying. I feel so empty. I feel like it's all my fault. I literally feel like a bomb just hit me and i wish that were actually true right now. Sitting here with my eyes swollen from crying, questioning my entire existence. please if anyone reads this and felt the same way please tell me, does it ever get better? Cause right now i feel so hopeless
It does get better I promise. I remember feeling sooo so sad. I thought that using a donor egg was growing and raising someone else’s child. I was so grossed out by the idea but I promise you won’t feel that way when you have your baby. I Always tell people, the baby’s soul was always meant to be with you, your body just doesn’t have the ability to create it’s body without borrowing someone else’s egg. Just because the baby isn’t genetically yours, you are still its biological and birth mom. You ARE that babies mom. Your body was born with bad eggs like mine was. There is nothing you can do to change that. It’s a sad thing to realize but I promise when you have your baby, you will love them so much and they will feel like yours because they are yours. Let yourself cry it out. Give yourself some time and you will start to feel better. 😘 let me know if you need anything.
It’s definitely not your fault. Some things are out of our control. Take time to grieve but also know that it will get better. You will smile and laugh again. And you are not alone in how you feel. Please hang in there. The baby that is meant to be with you will come to you one way or another. There is not one right way to start a family. Sending you peace 💕
I fully relate to your feelings. It’s devastating but please know that time will make things easier.,Be gentle on yourself. I am about to use an egg donor and sperm donor, because I’m single and in my late 40s. I’m nervous as hell but also excited. I’m expecting it to be a rollercoaster for a while and hopeful that I have a beautiful child
Acepta tu realidad. No elegimos, es la naturaleza quien da o no, según su criterio. No compres óvulos, de otra, el niño está obligado a buscar a su madre. No somos Dios.
I love your honesty. I would feel all kinds of emotions if it ever came to that. We are only 2 years in to our journey and only 2 failed IUIs so far and taking a break because the specialist wants to give the CoQ10 some time. I would be worried about the donor conceived persons emotions. I would hope that it is not anonymous so that my children can feel like they have access to all the information they could ever want. Love your journey and whatever you choose for your babies ❤ it’s very brave.
Thanks for your kind words. Hopefully your treatments will work for you and you won’t have to use a donor but if you do, using a known egg donor is totally up to you. 🙂 I plan to do 23andMe genetic testing when my daughter is older so she can know her genetics. Hopefully it will help her feel like she has all the information.
@@WannaBeMama it’s true there are some great options now. My great grandmother had been given up by her mother at birth and she grew up with her father, however she was always told her mother was Dutch and had to go back to Holland. I did an ancestry DNA test and with lots of research and found out she was actually Irish. It’s a long story but it continues to unfold even now 😂. I know you are already a great mum and all your kids are going to appreciate what you’ve gone through 💗
Thanks @@klila16 I hope I’m a good mom. I am grateful for my struggle to get my daughter because it makes me love her so much more. I hope your next fertility treatment works for you. You have to let me know what happens. And crazy about your great grandma. I think genetic testing is soo cool!! I did 23andMe in myself this past year and I found out that I’m mostly from Spain and Portugal, but also I am Native American and also from Africa. (You would never know looking at me).
@@WannaBeMama wow those results are amazing! Genetics is definitely very cool! I will try to let you know the outcome. I’ll keep following your channel. I just don’t know how long it will take let’s see 😅.
@@klila16 no pressure love. I understand life gets busy and you might forget. I just like knowing how my fellow struggling mamas are doing. Feel free to reach out anytime for support. 😘
Thanks love. Let me know if you have any questions while you’re deciding. If this is the only way you can get and experience pregnancy, I highly recommend it. But I’m supportive of whatever you do. 😘
Hey there I’m so inspired and moved by your story I have a 6 year old and now thinking of a sibling for her, I discovered will have to be through donor egg . I have two questions for you 1. How long did you wait to confirm pregnancy to all 2. Was it risky to travel before first trimester as it’s via IVF and were you precautious
I’m sorry you are having a hard time. I promise it will all work out and you won’t be able to imagine your life without your baby and they will feel like they are 100% from you. Is there anything I can say to help you feel better?
I think you giving us a run down of what the process is and sharing with us your journey is a huge help already. On the other hand, did you prepare for this financially? We were thinking of adoption as well but youre right about the egg donor program.
@@danicapuriran8810 we were very fortunate that my husband’s grandma offered to pay for it. I know it’s possible to get personal loans for this. If we didn’t have my husbands grandma, we would have paid for it in cash. (It would have taken about a year or so to save the money.) We lived off my husband’s paycheck and saved everything I made and put it into what I called “the baby fund”.
She is yours100% Thank you for this such informative video. You’re the inspiration of a lot of woman to let us know that we are not alone. God bless you and your family ❤❤❤
Awe thanks sweetie. I’m glad my journey is helpful. I remember feeling so weird about having to use an egg donor but I would never have it any other way. My daughter is everything to me. I’m grateful my eggs suck because my situation gave me her. I know future moms using an egg donor will feel the same way. It’s a blessing in disguise. 🥰
@@WannaBeMama oh how I didn’t see the notification that you replied back until now. But hear me out on this, Mom that use an egg donors are even as amazing as any moms to think about it. It takes a strong mind, incredibly loving, selfless mom to do it so. And to me that’s a gifted to be able to feel that type of love. Your daughter is VERY lucky to have you as well as your family💕😊. And for you to share your journey to help out others is just just beyond AMAZING. I can see why she’s the greatest thing because you totally are ❤️. Don’t you ever doubt or question the love you have for others are rare what we needed in this world. Your videos helps out a lot of moms who’s going through and there aren’t books or doctors can comfort that part like the person who’s going through the same stuff. I hope you see my comment, have a nice nice day momma❤️🥰
Thanks so much for sharing, this is very helpful and inspiring. Using a donor egg is the only good option my husband and i have to have a child. I just worry that I will feel like our child is more his than mine in a sense since its his genetics and not mine.I know his is a bit irrational but its a thought I have. I would hope after our child is born l would see it differently. Any advice ? , I dont hear of many other women voice the same concern . I guess it ties in with worrying the child wont feel like yours (even though he or she is just in a different way.
Having that thought is 100% normal. I had the same thought partially because I don’t really like kids (I’ve never enjoyed babysitting and I don’t want to go to nephews’ birthday parties. But I knew that I would love MY kids when I had them.) I had your same worry even on delivery day. I remember her coming out and my first thoughts when I saw her was, ‘OMG she is soo pretty, but I don’t know her.’ My husband always says love is time (for example, I bet you didn’t fall in love with your hubby the moment you saw him. It took time and experiences together to fall in love). So if you have that fear of them not feeling like yours when they are born, don’t worry. Even if you don’t feel the instant burning love that moms claim they get the moment they see their baby, don’t fret. You will get that love for them soooo fast. It took me about a week to allow myself to calm my worries and be able to feel the burning love. (It was always there, but my hormonal drop and fear kept me from being calm enough to feel it). And they will feel like yours because they ARE yours. They know no other mommy. You are the one that grew them, nursed them, and your love for them will be like no other human’s love for them. A mom’s love is seriously special. The love I have for my daughter is completely different than the love I feel for anyone else. Also, they are yours because even though your body didn’t have good eggs to form their body, the spirit that lives inside their body was always meant to be yours. The analogy I always say is, if Kim needed a heart transplant from Stacy, it doesn’t mean that Kim is now Stacy because she is using Stacy’s body part to live. The spirit inside Kim is still the same. Same thing with using donor eggs…. Just because we needed 1 cell to grow your baby’s body, the spirit that dwells in the body you grew would have been the same even if it was your own eggs that made the body. Hopefully that helps. 😘
Thank you so much it really helps to hear you had a similar worry and overcame it 🥰 I don't want my fear prevent me from experiencing the beauty of motherhood.
@@dawnsaber9898 just know that your hormones will drop after they take out your placenta, so it’s normal to experience postpartum-like feelings for a couple weeks. (I never thought I’d be affected by the hormone drop and feel sad because I waited so long to have a baby and was so happy to finally have her, but you can’t prevent feeling off after delivery). So if you do feel weepy and anxious and scared, know it’s your hormones. You will feel better after a couple weeks. To help prevent postpartum, and the severeness of the hormonal drop, be sure to consistently work out during pregnancy if your doctor gives you the go ahead.
Did you consider using a known donor? I recommend learning about the donor conceived community-there’s a lot of information about the potential harm of using anonymous.
I did consider it but I decided against it because I always want to be open with my child and I wouldn’t want her thinking that my sister (for example) was her mom. I felt like using an anonymous egg donor would add a degree of separation between the donor and my little family. I believe its only damaging if you try to keep it a secret from your kids and how you teach them. I believe in god and heaven so my children will know they are from an egg donor but they will know their spirit was always meant to be mine in heaven. So even though my eggs couldn’t create my child’s body to house their spirit, they are still my child. Think of it this way… if a person (say her name is Kate) has a heart transplant (from let’s say Stacy)… does that mean Kate is now Stacy because Kate has Stacy’s organ? No. Kate’s spirit is still Kate, even though she had to use another woman’s body to live. I think of using an egg donor as this same principle. Just because my child’s body is created using 1 cell from the donor (the egg) because my eggs were terrible, my child’s spirit is the same regardless if it’s housed in the body my eggs created, or from a donor egg. Hopefully that makes sense.
Also the thing with using a known donor if the don’t pass all the tests u gotta find someone else and pay again. At least with using frozen eggs u know everything is cleared and good to go so it’s cheaper too. And they both have a great success rate.
@@officiallyjess5291 Yep. And you have to pay legal fees too because the known egg donor has to sign their rights away for the eggs. Using an anonymous egg donor is honestly a lot simpler because all the doctor tests and legal stuff is done for you.
Hello. I had my son through donor eggs. I suffered from post partum depression for almost 3 years. I feel my son does not have my genetics.please help me.i like your video .
So sad for you I feel it is most likely the depression that has stopped your connection to your baby. I have had five children and honestly none of them look exactly like me. They are not you. Also there is research that shows the baby you carry has a small part of your dna even if you are just a surrogate that baby that is growing in your body has some of your genes so your baby is part of you. Just try to enjoy him God bless you for bringing this little one into the world you did an amazingly beautiful thing
@@patriciafisher1170 Your comment is kind, however the mother does not pass on any of her actual DNA. The DNA only comes from the egg. Epigenetics though is real and reassuring to mothers using a donor egg.
Please know that mothers who have children naturally can also take a long time to bond. Talk to a therapist and take the pressure off yourself and your child. One day soon it will click and you will be the confident loving mother you want and need to be ❤
I believe the previous comment might have meant mitochondrial DNA. That's passed on by the mother only (the carrying) , it is actual a way to tack maternal lineage across generations (for male lineage it is used the y cromossome).
Hi, Any recommendation as far as things to check or vitamins and diet that feel would help with success with donor egg transfer first time also curious if doctors said anything about the testing they do on the donor on their fertility as well . Also did you use fresh or frozen or did your doctor recommend one over the other. Thanks for your videos unfortunately I’m learning more about fertility from others like you than doctors.
I’ve been told Mediterranean diets are the best for fertility. As for vitamins, different meds and vitamins can mess with embryo transfers, so my doctors don’t like me to take anything but a prenatal vitamin and any meds they specifically prescribe. At the end of the video I show the screening/testing they do on the donor but I don’t know exactly what they test for. I do know they test their egg quality and count and if they have any genetic diseases or illnesses that the child can inherit. They took my donor’s eggs out fresh because I used my clinics private donor program. My clinic has the donor do an IVF cycle where they retrieve their eggs fresh. But If you use national donor banks they have the eggs frozen. As for the embryo transfer, I did transfer an embryo 5 days after they retrieved my donors eggs (so a fresh transfer) and all my other transfers were frozen embryo transfers. All my embryos are 5 day embryos. I don’t think it matters much for you if you do a fresh or frozen transfer because you haven’t just been on fertility meds for the egg retrieval. But normally if you are doing IVF using your own eggs, I’ve heard it’s better to do frozen transfers. They work better. I’m glad my videos help. Good luck 🥰
Hi thanks for posting this video as it was very informative. Can you share what clinic you used? I’m more concerned about costs and the initial clinic I went I basically have to contact all the frozen or fresh egg banks myself to get the costs. I’m looking for a clinic that I can do fresh egg with but the donor has already been approved. Thanks in advance!
@@misskiana81Absolutely not?? What are you even talking about mate😂 "bio" comes from biological , so the donor 100% is the bio mom. You maybe mean that the mom will be the birth mother since she'll carry and birth the baby. I can understand how you'd mix them up cause they're usually used as the same thing when adoption/fostering is discussed but here genetic =bio. Personally I'd never donate my eggs precisely because I could never just accept I have kids somewhere in the world totally oblivious to my existence I dunno this whole thing irks me from a donor perspective but as far as recipients go I can understand why they would opt to carry their babies and experience pregnancy so to each their own I guess.
@@WannaBeMama last 2020 ❤️ my baby is turning 16 month old now😍 I’ve been following you since I planned on getting IVF and I’m glad my doctor mentioned about IUI first. So thanks God!
Gosh. Your prices are a lot lower than where I live. In Dallas texas. Total with a donor, we’re looking at $55k. We used an agency for our donor and that was like $20k total on its own. Then IVF is like $20k plus my transfer of like $4k. None of these prices include meds which are another $9k with her and my meds. This is not just my clinic (which is the best one IMO). It’s the going rate here.
When making this video yes. I had a total of 5 embryos and as of today the only embryo that took was my daughter. All the other 4 embryo transfers failed. So from my donor, I was able to have 1 child.
Yeah. Fertility costs are insane. I feel bad because a LOT of people can’t afford it. And what I paid was cheap compared to other people I’ve talked to.
I have been using donor eggs as well but I have had 5 transfers and all have failed. How many transfers did you go through using donor eggs before it worked. And did you ever use donor sperm along with donor eggs
I had 2 failed transfers before my daughter stuck. They failed because they didn’t check my uterus for endometritis which makes it hard for an embryo to stick. (Video here ua-cam.com/video/4r0l8rwHm1A/v-deo.html) Once I had my endometritis fixed the next transfer worked. My husbands Sperm was excellent quality so I didn’t need to use donor sperm.
I know it’s a possibility that she would want to because she might want to know her genetic makeup (like where her ancestry is from), but I would be sad if she wanted to meet the donor because she thought they were their “real” mom. The egg donor is anonymous so it might not be a possibility. Also I plan to do 23&Me testing when she’s older so she knows where her ancestry is from.
Just one. They only retrieved 3 or 4 eggs and they were all bad even after using max dose of egg enhancing meds. My dr recommended going straight to egg donor because he didn’t see another IVF round showing a different outcome.
Oh for sure. You are a their mom. Being the one to take care of them once they are born makes the bond. They will know no one else but you. When my daughter was first born it took me a minute to bond with her because of hormones and fear of what If I won’t be able to bond with her. But my husband always says, “time is love”. Spend time with your baby and you will quickly feel the bond regardless if you carried them in your belly or not. That would be super mean of God to not give moms in your situation the same bond as other moms who can carry their baby. But luckily, God is all loving and doesn’t want you to miss out on anything because your body can’t carry a baby. So have peace and get excited. Regardless of how your baby comes to you, they are your baby and you will love them more than ANY other person in the whole world.
I got 13 eggs from the donor and 5 of those eggs turned into 5-day embryos. My doctors say to expect 25% of the eggs you get to turn into embryos. For example, if you get 4 eggs, statistically 1 of those eggs will turn into an embryo.
Did you choose a donor that resembles you,your facial features,eye,and hair colour,build etc. I think physical resemblance,with good intelligence, and health history would be vital for me. Then you get the best of both :)
Hi , I am 40 years old, I had a miscarriage then I tried with my own eggs and consulted a fertility specialist I went through IVF. Due to my low AMH. My doctor suggested instead of going through IVF. We will try our UA after 3/4attempts, my pregnancy confirmed again it’s a miscarriage ,I can’t bear the expenses for egg donation in US and went to my home country and tried IVF cycle with donor eggs, in the first cycle itself, my pregnancy, confirmed, I traveled from my home country to us, it’s in the 8th week I had a miss-carriage. Actually from the egg donor they retrieved 6 to 10 eggs, now they have three more embryos left with them is there anyway you can help me with your suggestion? Do you have any chances? Actually I wanted to try in the US but I’m a little bit scared of the expenses. can you please help me what can I do thank you so much.
It sounds like the problem might be your uterus or hormones. Did your doctors have you take progesterone shots? In the US you take progesterone shots up to 10weeks gestation when doing embryo transfers. A lot of miscarriages are due to low progesterone. I think the progesterone shots are more effective than progesterone pills. If the issue is your uterus, have your doctor check you for endometritis (it’s different than endometriosis). Endometritis is inflammation in your uterus. It can make it so you can’t get pregnant and it also causes frequent miscarriages. I made a video about it here: ua-cam.com/video/4r0l8rwHm1A/v-deo.html (HAVE THEM CHECK YOUR UTERUS BEFORE YOU DO ANOTHER TRANSFER - my endometritis caused 2 donor egg embryos to fail). Hopefully this helps you. 😘
Actually in USA doctor said u just need only one egg ur uteri’s really good he said. how much it will cost egg donor here ? Insurance will cover or no.
@@NercitaHolmgaard it honestly depends on your egg quality. There are miracles that happen but if it turns out you need to use an egg donor it will all turn out great.
A lot of saving. We lived off my husband’s paycheck and saved all of my paychecks. If we didn’t have help from our grandma it would have taken us about 9 months to save enough to pay for it. It’s doable; just takes time.
That would be cool but I am honestly 100% fine with using my 2 remaining embryos from the egg donor because I don’t want my daughter feeling left out if her siblings were not genetically the same as her.
You are her mom! She must have absorb yr thing.. enzyme etc whatever yours, when she was in yr womb. You know what I mean. Called me crazy but I do believe so😉 Have a happy life! ❤️
As a 6x egg donor and surrogate i love hearing the side of the IPS because y’all’s journey is so beautiful ❤
Wow thank you for being you!
In the future it's possible that one of them will do a 23andMe and it will list you as the Mother I'm wondering how that will be for you and for the child if they will try to get in contact they're gonna find out they have half siblings.
Thank you so much for making this video. When I was 14 years old, I was told that I could not have kids. 16 years after being told that I could not have kids, my husband and I are on our donor egg IVF journey. Your video has made me feel better about the process. I too felt the same things you did when you were told that you had to have a child through egg donation.
You got this! Thanks for sharing love. Good luck 👍🏻🍀
hey frennn, thank you so much for making this video & having the courage to share your experience. I had a bone marrow transplant 8 years ago & underwent alot of chemotherapy. At the time I was living in LA and had no idea how I was going to pay for my life while I was in the hospital...which I ended up being hospitalized for almost a year during the transplant itself because I had so many complications. Before my transplant they told me that my fertility was at risk but I just couldn't figure out how to get the funds to freeze my eggs. Its SOOOO expensive.
Now at 35 I am married to the love of my life and that decision has haunted me. I wish I could go back in time and get a second a job or something to have made my eggs a priority. I wish I would have gone into debt to make it happen because my husband would be so happy. Hell, I would be happy.
I did soooo many beauty pageants, and acting classes and all these external things that really don't matter to me anymore--literally spent thousands and thousands. Sooooo dumb. Its true--youth is wasted on the young.
My husband & I started fertility treatments but the doctors have told us to stop because nothing is happening. I'm torn in faith. Reading my Bible, knowing that God's promises are true in my head (trying to get it in my heart) but also the evidence of what things are looking like in my reality right now.
I don't want to accept that there are no eggs inside me. There has to be just one...just one. I mean look at the abundance outside--every flower giving thousands of seeds before its cycle ends. There is abundance everywhere.
I've felt desperation, hopelessness, grief...you name it. To anyone reading this--you are not alone--its the worse most heartbreaking thing to experience. Literally being made a woman --created to LITERALLY create--and your body won't. It's devastating. And to those who had to carry the burden of illness as well------horrible. Be grateful if you were born into a family that was able to help you navigate decisions like that early on & help financially.
I don't want to keep waiting though. Every thing you discussed,..I feel. But also immense guilt for my decision. I should have ruminated more on my future. But hindsight is 2020.
Your daughter really does look like you. What a blessing. Congratulations!!!! I haven't spoken to our fertility specialist yet about the details of egg donation (he said my uterus looks healthy enough to carry but I hadn't really entertained donation yet) ... but per your suggestion, I did take a peak at the national registry. There were only 4 black egg donors 😳
God is faithful, he always has been...so I'll keep moving forward. This was a ramble...but thank you so much for sharing your testimony.
Sorry for the late response. I was out of the country in a cruise for a while and just got service. Girl, your story!!! Omg I can see why you feel guilt. Do you live in the U.S.?
Awww I hope you had fun on your trip! Yes I do :) Virginia now @@WannaBeMama
I have an ED baby. I LOVE him more than ANYTHING. He is my everything 💙❤️I can’t imagine that I could love anyone/ anything more than him. I wouldn’t love him more if he had my genetic.
I feel the exact same way. 🥰 I’m so happy you were able to get your baby. The fact we can use an egg donor to be a mom is seriously amazing.
Yes, the soul/spirit of this child will aways be the one that was meant for you. Its your baby 100% thanks for sharing
Thank you so much for sharing this. I just got to know yesterday that i might have to use an egg donor to get pregnant and i wont lie, it came as a shock and left me devastated. Coming to terms with it and trying to wrap my head around this option and your video helps ❤️ i can just feel my baby's soul waiting to come be with us... I hope it works out, here in India only anonymous egg donation is allowed. I trust God to pick the perfect one for us ❤️
Good luck my love. I promise that everything will be ok using an egg donor. You will love your child just the same as if it were your own egg.
@@WannaBeMamathank you, that's really sweet of you. We've started the process, I'm starting to get excited. Really grateful to you for helping women like me, as there are really not many stories out there about this topic. ❤️ God bless!
Your story motivates me. I too live in Europe. But due to so much inflation I decided to travel to India for the treatment. I Choose IHR IVF Kolkata, in west Bengal, India for Donor IVF cycle. In India there is a strict law for the donor to be anonymous. And I find that is very very relaxing. Not meeting the donor in person and judging and over-thinking. The clinic I choose was quite reliable. The prices were very very cheap. Literally penny in comparison to my home town hospitals in Europe. My baby girls looks like me, behaves like me too. No one can tell she is from someone else. I am forever grateful to IHR IVF Kolkata. I still have 4 more blastocysts stored with them. I will travel again to India when my daughter is more than 2 year for second child.
I love hearing success stories. I’m glad it worked out for you.
@@WannaBeMama yes... Honestly I was not attached to my child even during pregnancy or even after birth... sometimes I find it hard in my heart. My husband supports me so much. He is teaching me to expect my baby girls, it is not there fault. Listening and seeing stories of women who also conceived through donor eggs humbles my heart..
it is not my girls fault, but it was not my fault either, that I have suffered premature ovarian failure at just 27 years...
sometimes I am full of love for them, sometimes I feel I am a baby sitter to someone else child, my husband says you are overthinking.... that's why I have started watching stories similar to yours and mine, to see what others feels...thanks a lot. I know it was a rant... so sorry...
Thanks for sharing your experience
Same happen with me as well
Thank you very much for this video. I was told that my last option for having a baby was donor egg today. Even though I had thought about it before, it's still quite overwhelming. I was a frightened, and not sure whether I would be 100% fine with this option. I searched for anybody with such experience online, and you are one of the few. Your story shows me the maternal journal with donor egg can be so sweet, and your words give me the courage to step on this journal. Thank you, and wish you and your family all the best.
I understand everything you said. I cried for a week. We now have 5 embryos using donor eggs. I am not sure when we are transferring the embryos, but I am finally at peace with it.
We had 5 embryos too!!! Twinners! But I’m happy your are happy now and I’m so excited for you to finally get to be a mom. It’s the strongest love ever.
Inspiring journey. Well documented. Your daughter will be proud of her mama. Come what may, you never gave up.
Omg, you are so nice! Thanks for your kind words 🥰 hopefully my journey helps other people.
Thank you for this video., I’m starting the process of using an egg donor. I feel the same way as you. I feel like my genes are now forever done. But in all honestly I’d prefer for my husband to have an opportunity to see his own genes and that we both can finally be parents. I’m so unknown about this process but your video relieved some stresses and concerns. Thank you
Glad it was helpful. Good luck 👍🏻🍀
For those interested: there are clinics in Spain, Greece and Czech Republic for example who offer great quality work for way smaller prices, even with the flight there it will cost you thousands less...
We were going to go to Prague initially but doctors have to monitor you so much and sometimes you have to postpone your cycle. I talked to other women who have gone through IVF and they seriously discouraged going out of country. I decided to stay here and luckily I did because we found out that my eggs were genetically bad during IVF. If I went to Prague and found out that information I might have blamed the Prague clinic and tried another IVF cycle here in the US waisting more money.
Girl I didn’t see you for yearssss and just recently starting thinking of you and boom here you are!
Girl…. I know. If you don’t follow me on social media you probably didn’t hear that not long after I got pregnant my mom tragically died and it messed me up. And since I tried so long for my baby, when I finally had her I was so obsessed with her and didn’t want anything to take my time away from her (because I wouldn’t get that time back and they grow sooo fast). But I am back. Promise. I am spending the next few weeks updating my channel with videos I’ve missed - so I’m here if you need to talk.
So sorry for you loss! Glad you’re back, but take the time you need! ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I did IVF last summer with my own eggs and it failed. The experience was truly gut wrenching and our doctor said he wouldn’t recommend doing it again and that I should consider using a donor egg. When this was first brought up to me I had all sorts of feelings. I felt offended and went through a grieving process, however, you get to a point where you you stop looking at it as a negative and start looking at it as a positive. Using a donor egg is the only way I will get to be a mom. I desperately want to experience pregnancy and a donor egg will give me that opportunity. Our clinic’s donor program was pretty much postponed due to COVID so we are going through a national bank. We have a donor picked out and are just waiting for the eggs to become available. This should be any day! I sometimes still get sad. I’ll see pictures of friend’s children on facebook and see how much they look like their mom and that gets to me because I know I’ll never have that. But, overall I am really excited for this opportunity and thankful that this is an option for me. I truly appreciate your willingness to share your story. It helps to connect with people who have gone through similar experiences as your own.
I understand your sadness of not having a child look like you. It is a bummer but honestly when your baby is born you won’t care. People ask me all the time if I will try to get pregnant naturally now that I was able to get pregnant using a donor egg, but I wouldn’t even try because I love my daughter so much I wouldn’t ever want her to feel left out if I was able to get pregnant using my eggs and especially if the baby looked like me. But on the contrary, I also have people tell me that my daughter looks like me. So it’s all meant to be. You can be sad about it but know you will feel so much love and joy for your future donor egg baby that you will not care if they don’t look like you. Regardless if they look like you or not, you’ll feel like they are 100% your baby, because they are. I’m excited for you!! 😘
Thank you for sharing this information it definitely helps people going through infertility and shows that there are still options out there.
Happy to help.
Oh, you and your husband are definitely the creators of this little miracle!💕 And her name is so beautiful!
Thanks love. I really love her name too.
I have a friend that had an egg Donner in mexico and she didn't have to pay anything for the eggs. It's free , now she has 2 children.
Excellent information. Well presented and I look forward to seeing how the beautiful baby progresses. It's truly a miracle. Thank you for sharing this personal journey.
I am just so happy for you all! I’ve been following y’all for awhile. I’m just getting back to UA-cam and checking out your videos again.
I relate with y’all on so many levels. Congratulations Mama!
Thanks love!!! Have you been able to get pregnant? Let me know how I can help you 🥰
Congratulations on having this dream baby! I was following your channel when I was trying to get pregnant myself and feel for you. So happy for you and your husband! You made the right choice! All the best to you all!
Thanks love!! I’m so happy you had success too!!!
I love this update! Made me cry! Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Love ya!
You’re the best!
Great information and video! My donor was tested for 550 different genetic diseases & she was a carrier off 2 different things from my husband. I’m surprised they only tested your donor for 27. Glad you got your baby she’s super cute !
Interesting. Yeah I don’t know what my clinic tested for. I was able to get one baby out of everything 🥰
This happened to me. And i felt the exactly the same way. I am very fortunate that my sister is goin to donate her eggs to me. I went through every emotion 😢 possible but we are now in the process now of treatment now and i have never been happier that i might have a happy family 😊
Awe such a happy turn of events to your story. That is awesome your sister is doing that for you. It will most likely work so keep the faith. Let me know what happens🤞🏼
@Wanna Be Mama yes she is amazing . I will let you now how it goes xx
So happy to see an updated video from you, just had my second round of ivf for embryo banking due to low AMH, so excited to have you along this journey. Love from Ireland 🇮🇪 💚
How did your IVF go? When is your embryo transfer?
@@WannaBeMama it went OK thanks for asking, first round I got 1 embryo, 2nd round I got 3, I did back to back rounds so it was tough on the body, currently going through the dreaded wait for pgt-a testing and hoping to do a tranfer in jan all going well. I am really worried about the results and the wait is killer but I am 33 so hopefully we may have some normal embryos 🙏
Have you done your transfer yet?
@@WannaBeMama just had a scan this morning and the transfer has been cancelled due to thin lining and I am not responding to meds, feeling a bit deflated but have to keep going. The protocol will be changed in preparation for the next transfer next month. I hope all is good with you 💚
@@annmarieryan2476 I'm sorry girl. One of my embryo transfers was cancelled too because I got COVID, but looking back, I am SOOO happy it didn't work out and I had to wait a couple months. I wonder if you look back after you have your baby and be like "oh... THAT'S why I had to wait." (and usually waiting turns out to be a blessing you didn't even know you needed.) I am excited for you girl! Keep me updated. Hopefully your body will respond better to the meds next time. ❤
Thank you for sharing! I’m in so much pain. My IVF failed, I had just 3 saved eggs and they did not develop to blastocyst stage. I used Sperm donor, so hard to find a match. I’m thinking about egg donor but I’m still single. That sucks as well. I’m 44
If you can afford an egg donor I say go for it. Healthy, young eggs make a huge difference.
@@WannaBeMama thank you for feedback! I’ll probably do it. 💕
I'm 43, and my husband and I are looking into egg donor ivf. I have 2 teenagers, and unfortunately had 3 miscarriages at 40/41. I've read that the chances of successful pregnancy/ivf for someone my age are almost zero. We don't want to waste time, money or heartache trying with my own eggs.
There is a woman on UA-cam named TJ from Australia. She's a single mom of a toddler daughter she had using a donor egg and donor sperm, and now she's pregnant again at 50 using the same two donors.
@@Gopher5000 I wish you luck! I have a boyfriend for about 6 months and I don’t know. How to bring this up. I’m so reward for donor eggs and we both want kids, he is younger 40 y/ o but he wants to keep the relationship casual . Says he is scared what if it doesn’t work. I don’t know if I should tell him or not my director told me I’m in menopause. I really like this guy 😞
Hi Dear.. Soo happy to see you back after a loooooong time. Started following you last year when I was TTC. Your videos really helped me to stay calm and have hope when my IUIs failed. The way of your presentation and the positivity are really commendable. Happy that your lil one is doing great🧿❤️🥰. My 5th IUI worked and my baby boy is one month old now💞🧿 wishing your family good health and happiness forever 💞🙏🏽 lots of love from Kerala, India☺️
Thank you so much for reaching out! I’m so happy your dream came true🥰 sorry I was gone for so long. Not long after my last video my mom died so I was trying to keep it together. Then when I had my baby I didn’t want anything to take my time from her (I knew I would never get that time back and I didn’t want it miss anything). But now that she is more independent I have time to make videos again.
Congrats again! Enjoy every second 🥰
Thank you for sharing your experience! This is so helpful! We are not quite there, but we seem to be headed towards a decision between egg donation or adoption. Both are great, I think, but adoption can be so difficult and expensive so we are definitely leaning towards egg donation if it is necessary. Knowing you get multiple eggs makes it so much more of a great option.
It is a tough decision. Being able to experience pregnancy was a huge bonus when making my decision.
Am so happy for you . Congratulations 🎊
I wouldn't feel any different it's my baby.
They are your baby 🥰 It’s just a fear some woman have that the baby won’t feel like there’s. It’s hard to know what to expect until you finally get pregnant and the baby is born.
@@WannaBeMama yea i understand.
This video was very informative. Thank you. Would you please do a video on how talk to your child about the process at an early age? How would you explain it to them and so forth.
Hi 👋 for sure I can do that. I plan on talking to my daughter about it when I’m pregnant with my next baby. I promise to make a video on it 🥰
Wow!! She looks sooo like you!!
Thanks 😊
I just had an egg retrieval yesterday and found out i have no eggs. They told me my only option is donor eggs and I'm scared to death right now and can't stop crying. I feel so empty. I feel like it's all my fault. I literally feel like a bomb just hit me and i wish that were actually true right now. Sitting here with my eyes swollen from crying, questioning my entire existence. please if anyone reads this and felt the same way please tell me, does it ever get better? Cause right now i feel so hopeless
It does get better I promise. I remember feeling sooo so sad. I thought that using a donor egg was growing and raising someone else’s child. I was so grossed out by the idea but I promise you won’t feel that way when you have your baby. I Always tell people, the baby’s soul was always meant to be with you, your body just doesn’t have the ability to create it’s body without borrowing someone else’s egg. Just because the baby isn’t genetically yours, you are still its biological and birth mom. You ARE that babies mom. Your body was born with bad eggs like mine was. There is nothing you can do to change that. It’s a sad thing to realize but I promise when you have your baby, you will love them so much and they will feel like yours because they are yours. Let yourself cry it out. Give yourself some time and you will start to feel better. 😘 let me know if you need anything.
It’s definitely not your fault. Some things are out of our control. Take time to grieve but also know that it will get better. You will smile and laugh again. And you are not alone in how you feel. Please hang in there.
The baby that is meant to be with you will come to you one way or another. There is not one right way to start a family. Sending you peace 💕
I fully relate to your feelings. It’s devastating but please know that time will make things easier.,Be gentle on yourself. I am about to use an egg donor and sperm donor, because I’m single and in my late 40s. I’m nervous as hell but also excited. I’m expecting it to be a rollercoaster for a while and hopeful that I have a beautiful child
Also try to stay off social media. It can make things harder. This is obviously a good channel though
Acepta tu realidad. No elegimos, es la naturaleza quien da o no, según su criterio. No compres óvulos, de otra, el niño está obligado a buscar a su madre. No somos Dios.
I love your honesty. I would feel all kinds of emotions if it ever came to that. We are only 2 years in to our journey and only 2 failed IUIs so far and taking a break because the specialist wants to give the CoQ10 some time.
I would be worried about the donor conceived persons emotions. I would hope that it is not anonymous so that my children can feel like they have access to all the information they could ever want.
Love your journey and whatever you choose for your babies ❤ it’s very brave.
Thanks for your kind words. Hopefully your treatments will work for you and you won’t have to use a donor but if you do, using a known egg donor is totally up to you. 🙂 I plan to do 23andMe genetic testing when my daughter is older so she can know her genetics. Hopefully it will help her feel like she has all the information.
@@WannaBeMama it’s true there are some great options now. My great grandmother had been given up by her mother at birth and she grew up with her father, however she was always told her mother was Dutch and had to go back to Holland. I did an ancestry DNA test and with lots of research and found out she was actually Irish. It’s a long story but it continues to unfold even now 😂.
I know you are already a great mum and all your kids are going to appreciate what you’ve gone through 💗
Thanks @@klila16 I hope I’m a good mom. I am grateful for my struggle to get my daughter because it makes me love her so much more. I hope your next fertility treatment works for you. You have to let me know what happens.
And crazy about your great grandma. I think genetic testing is soo cool!! I did 23andMe in myself this past year and I found out that I’m mostly from Spain and Portugal, but also I am Native American and also from Africa. (You would never know looking at me).
@@WannaBeMama wow those results are amazing! Genetics is definitely very cool! I will try to let you know the outcome. I’ll keep following your channel. I just don’t know how long it will take let’s see 😅.
@@klila16 no pressure love. I understand life gets busy and you might forget. I just like knowing how my fellow struggling mamas are doing. Feel free to reach out anytime for support. 😘
Inspirational!! Thank you so much for sharing 💕 she's beautiful. She looks like you 💗
Awe thank you! I’m glad it was helpful.
Thank you. You really really really explained a lot of questions and concerns I was having.
Congratulations.....
Glad to help. Good luck 👍🏻
Baby is the image of you!!
Awe the best thing anyone has ever said to me. 🥰
Thank you for this video!! It makes me feel so much better ❤
I’m glad. 😃
Thank you. This was a great informative video. You’re appreciated ☺️🙏🏽💕
Beautiful video. Thank you. I am considering the same process.
Thanks love. Let me know if you have any questions while you’re deciding. If this is the only way you can get and experience pregnancy, I highly recommend it. But I’m supportive of whatever you do. 😘
Very well explained ☺️ love from Kolkata India
Happy it was helpful 🥰
Hey there
I’m so inspired and moved by your story
I have a 6 year old and now thinking of a sibling for her, I discovered will have to be through donor egg .
I have two questions for you
1. How long did you wait to confirm pregnancy to all
2. Was it risky to travel before first trimester as it’s via IVF and were you precautious
Wow.. this actually helps! I am going through the same thing…its very emotionally draining….
I’m sorry you are having a hard time. I promise it will all work out and you won’t be able to imagine your life without your baby and they will feel like they are 100% from you. Is there anything I can say to help you feel better?
I think you giving us a run down of what the process is and sharing with us your journey is a huge help already. On the other hand, did you prepare for this financially? We were thinking of adoption as well but youre right about the egg donor program.
@@danicapuriran8810 we were very fortunate that my husband’s grandma offered to pay for it. I know it’s possible to get personal loans for this. If we didn’t have my husbands grandma, we would have paid for it in cash. (It would have taken about a year or so to save the money.) We lived off my husband’s paycheck and saved everything I made and put it into what I called “the baby fund”.
@@WannaBeMama im so glad to have found your channel! Thank you for sharing all these! It meant a lot! More power to you and your family! ♥️
@@danicapuriran8810 happy to help! If you have any other questions please let me know 🥰
Thank you so much for sharing!! This is so helpful
I’m glad. Good luck!
Thank you so very much for this ❤ God bless you & your lil Mamma❤️
Thanks love 💕
She is so pretty 😍. Congratulations
Thank you! 🥰
But she looks like you 😢 god bless you both❤
Thanks 🙏 😘
Soo happy for u🥰... Can you please share the name and details of the clinic you done this
I went to the Utah Center for Reproductive Medicine at the University of Utah.
healthcare.utah.edu/fertility
She is yours100% Thank you for this such informative video. You’re the inspiration of a lot of woman to let us know that we are not alone. God bless you and your family ❤❤❤
Awe thanks sweetie. I’m glad my journey is helpful. I remember feeling so weird about having to use an egg donor but I would never have it any other way. My daughter is everything to me. I’m grateful my eggs suck because my situation gave me her. I know future moms using an egg donor will feel the same way. It’s a blessing in disguise. 🥰
@@WannaBeMama oh how I didn’t see the notification that you replied back until now. But hear me out on this, Mom that use an egg donors are even as amazing as any moms to think about it. It takes a strong mind, incredibly loving, selfless mom to do it so. And to me that’s a gifted to be able to feel that type of love. Your daughter is VERY lucky to have you as well as your family💕😊. And for you to share your journey to help out others is just just beyond AMAZING. I can see why she’s the greatest thing because you totally are ❤️. Don’t you ever doubt or question the love you have for others are rare what we needed in this world. Your videos helps out a lot of moms who’s going through and there aren’t books or doctors can comfort that part like the person who’s going through the same stuff. I hope you see my comment, have a nice nice day momma❤️🥰
@@WannaBeMama lol my comment don’t make sense I just woke up. But you know what I mean 😂😂
@@JP-pn4yv you are so sweet.
@@JP-pn4yv It made sense 🥰
Thanks so much for sharing, this is very helpful and inspiring. Using a donor egg is the only good option my husband and i have to have a child. I just worry that I will feel like our child is more his than mine in a sense since its his genetics and not mine.I know his is a bit irrational but its a thought I have. I would hope after our child is born l would see it differently. Any advice ? , I dont hear of many other women voice the same concern . I guess it ties in with worrying the child wont feel like yours (even though he or she is just in a different way.
Having that thought is 100% normal. I had the same thought partially because I don’t really like kids (I’ve never enjoyed babysitting and I don’t want to go to nephews’ birthday parties. But I knew that I would love MY kids when I had them.) I had your same worry even on delivery day. I remember her coming out and my first thoughts when I saw her was, ‘OMG she is soo pretty, but I don’t know her.’ My husband always says love is time (for example, I bet you didn’t fall in love with your hubby the moment you saw him. It took time and experiences together to fall in love). So if you have that fear of them not feeling like yours when they are born, don’t worry. Even if you don’t feel the instant burning love that moms claim they get the moment they see their baby, don’t fret. You will get that love for them soooo fast. It took me about a week to allow myself to calm my worries and be able to feel the burning love. (It was always there, but my hormonal drop and fear kept me from being calm enough to feel it). And they will feel like yours because they ARE yours. They know no other mommy. You are the one that grew them, nursed them, and your love for them will be like no other human’s love for them. A mom’s love is seriously special. The love I have for my daughter is completely different than the love I feel for anyone else. Also, they are yours because even though your body didn’t have good eggs to form their body, the spirit that lives inside their body was always meant to be yours. The analogy I always say is, if Kim needed a heart transplant from Stacy, it doesn’t mean that Kim is now Stacy because she is using Stacy’s body part to live. The spirit inside Kim is still the same. Same thing with using donor eggs…. Just because we needed 1 cell to grow your baby’s body, the spirit that dwells in the body you grew would have been the same even if it was your own eggs that made the body.
Hopefully that helps. 😘
Thank you so much it really helps to hear you had a similar worry and overcame it 🥰 I don't want my fear prevent me from experiencing the beauty of motherhood.
@@dawnsaber9898 just know that your hormones will drop after they take out your placenta, so it’s normal to experience postpartum-like feelings for a couple weeks. (I never thought I’d be affected by the hormone drop and feel sad because I waited so long to have a baby and was so happy to finally have her, but you can’t prevent feeling off after delivery). So if you do feel weepy and anxious and scared, know it’s your hormones. You will feel better after a couple weeks. To help prevent postpartum, and the severeness of the hormonal drop, be sure to consistently work out during pregnancy if your doctor gives you the go ahead.
Especially since Im prone to anxiety I would expect to feel post pardom symptoms. Thanks so much for sharing .
@@dawnsaber9898 here for you if you have any more questions or concerns 😘
In Sweden and Denmark you can't choose any qualities of the donor. They just match the hair and eye color, that's it.
I’ve heard that was a thing in locations other than the US.
Did you consider using a known donor? I recommend learning about the donor conceived community-there’s a lot of information about the potential harm of using anonymous.
I did consider it but I decided against it because I always want to be open with my child and I wouldn’t want her thinking that my sister (for example) was her mom. I felt like using an anonymous egg donor would add a degree of separation between the donor and my little family.
I believe its only damaging if you try to keep it a secret from your kids and how you teach them. I believe in god and heaven so my children will know they are from an egg donor but they will know their spirit was always meant to be mine in heaven. So even though my eggs couldn’t create my child’s body to house their spirit, they are still my child.
Think of it this way… if a person (say her name is Kate) has a heart transplant (from let’s say Stacy)… does that mean Kate is now Stacy because Kate has Stacy’s organ? No. Kate’s spirit is still Kate, even though she had to use another woman’s body to live. I think of using an egg donor as this same principle. Just because my child’s body is created using 1 cell from the donor (the egg) because my eggs were terrible, my child’s spirit is the same regardless if it’s housed in the body my eggs created, or from a donor egg.
Hopefully that makes sense.
Also the thing with using a known donor if the don’t pass all the tests u gotta find someone else and pay again. At least with using frozen eggs u know everything is cleared and good to go so it’s cheaper too. And they both have a great success rate.
@@officiallyjess5291 Yep. And you have to pay legal fees too because the known egg donor has to sign their rights away for the eggs. Using an anonymous egg donor is honestly a lot simpler because all the doctor tests and legal stuff is done for you.
I’m thinking about becoming a donor but wonder how strict the process is
I don’t know. I have never been on that side. But I am sure it’s an easy process that other people will pay for your testing.
You will be helping someone
Hello. I had my son through donor eggs. I suffered from post partum depression for almost 3 years. I feel my son does not have my genetics.please help me.i like your video .
@anu Do you just not feel connected to him? Are you in the states? I can call you if you do. Email me your number wannabemamacontact@gmail.com
So sad for you I feel it is most likely the depression that has stopped your connection to your baby. I have had five children and honestly none of them look exactly like me. They are not you. Also there is research that shows the baby you carry has a small part of your dna even if you are just a surrogate that baby that is growing in your body has some of your genes so your baby is part of you. Just try to enjoy him God bless you for bringing this little one into the world you did an amazingly beautiful thing
@@patriciafisher1170 Your comment is kind, however the mother does not pass on any of her actual DNA. The DNA only comes from the egg. Epigenetics though is real and reassuring to mothers using a donor egg.
Please know that mothers who have children naturally can also take a long time to bond. Talk to a therapist and take the pressure off yourself and your child. One day soon it will click and you will be the confident loving mother you want and need to be ❤
I believe the previous comment might have meant mitochondrial DNA. That's passed on by the mother only (the carrying) , it is actual a way to tack maternal lineage across generations (for male lineage it is used the y cromossome).
Hi, Any recommendation as far as things to check or vitamins and diet that feel would help with success with donor egg transfer first time also curious if doctors said anything about the testing they do on the donor on their fertility as well . Also did you use fresh or frozen or did your doctor recommend one over the other. Thanks for your videos unfortunately I’m learning more about fertility from others like you than doctors.
I’ve been told Mediterranean diets are the best for fertility.
As for vitamins, different meds and vitamins can mess with embryo transfers, so my doctors don’t like me to take anything but a prenatal vitamin and any meds they specifically prescribe.
At the end of the video I show the screening/testing they do on the donor but I don’t know exactly what they test for. I do know they test their egg quality and count and if they have any genetic diseases or illnesses that the child can inherit.
They took my donor’s eggs out fresh because I used my clinics private donor program. My clinic has the donor do an IVF cycle where they retrieve their eggs fresh. But If you use national donor banks they have the eggs frozen. As for the embryo transfer, I did transfer an embryo 5 days after they retrieved my donors eggs (so a fresh transfer) and all my other transfers were frozen embryo transfers. All my embryos are 5 day embryos. I don’t think it matters much for you if you do a fresh or frozen transfer because you haven’t just been on fertility meds for the egg retrieval. But normally if you are doing IVF using your own eggs, I’ve heard it’s better to do frozen transfers. They work better.
I’m glad my videos help. Good luck 🥰
Hi thanks for posting this video as it was very informative. Can you share what clinic you used? I’m more concerned about costs and the initial clinic I went I basically have to contact all the frozen or fresh egg banks myself to get the costs. I’m looking for a clinic that I can do fresh egg with but the donor has already been approved. Thanks in advance!
I went to the UTAH CENTER FOR REPRODUCTIVE MEDICINE
I couldn't forget that the bio mom is out there.
The donor is the genetic mom, the person that births the baby is the bio mom. It’s called epigenetics.
Cruel b***c! Donor eggs are sold, the donors don't do it just out of the goodness of their hearts!
@@misskiana81Absolutely not?? What are you even talking about mate😂 "bio" comes from biological , so the donor 100% is the bio mom. You maybe mean that the mom will be the birth mother since she'll carry and birth the baby. I can understand how you'd mix them up cause they're usually used as the same thing when adoption/fostering is discussed but here genetic =bio. Personally I'd never donate my eggs precisely because I could never just accept I have kids somewhere in the world totally oblivious to my existence I dunno this whole thing irks me from a donor perspective but as far as recipients go I can understand why they would opt to carry their babies and experience pregnancy so to each their own I guess.
In india you can't select the donor person on ur own😢😢
That must be hard for you but know you will love your baby regardless. Who they are is meant to be.
Wow your baby looks like you! I’d never known she was from an egg donor,
Epigenetics at its finest 😉
@@WannaBeMama correct!
Awesome!! Glad my IUI works on me!
When is it?
@@WannaBeMama last 2020 ❤️ my baby is turning 16 month old now😍 I’ve been following you since I planned on getting IVF and I’m glad my doctor mentioned about IUI first. So thanks God!
That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you. What did you end up having?
@@WannaBeMama thank you! A girl 👧 I have a channel also but most of the time I’m talking Philippine language 😃
That’s awesome. Proud of you 👍🏻
Gosh. Your prices are a lot lower than where I live. In Dallas texas. Total with a donor, we’re looking at $55k. We used an agency for our donor and that was like $20k total on its own. Then IVF is like $20k plus my transfer of like $4k. None of these prices include meds which are another $9k with her and my meds. This is not just my clinic (which is the best one IMO). It’s the going rate here.
I was really lucky my clinic had their own private donor program. I know it’s a lot more expensive other places
Where is in usa ur clinic clinic is
If you don’t mind me asking how much did you spend for IVF?
My IVF on myself cost around $15,000. That includes the meds.
Lovely video.
Hi, Egg donor here ! did you say two cycles of the donors eggs failed ?
When making this video yes. I had a total of 5 embryos and as of today the only embryo that took was my daughter. All the other 4 embryo transfers failed. So from my donor, I was able to have 1 child.
@@WannaBeMamaWhata difficult journey you have been on. If only we women are encouraged to have babies when we are younger not when we reached career
OMG those costs, why? it's like you are buying a kidney. Doctors and clinics have no mercy
Yeah. Fertility costs are insane. I feel bad because a LOT of people can’t afford it. And what I paid was cheap compared to other people I’ve talked to.
I have been using donor eggs as well but I have had 5 transfers and all have failed. How many transfers did you go through using donor eggs before it worked. And did you ever use donor sperm along with donor eggs
I had 2 failed transfers before my daughter stuck. They failed because they didn’t check my uterus for endometritis which makes it hard for an embryo to stick. (Video here ua-cam.com/video/4r0l8rwHm1A/v-deo.html) Once I had my endometritis fixed the next transfer worked. My husbands Sperm was excellent quality so I didn’t need to use donor sperm.
Would you be happy for your baby to meet the egg donor in future?
I know it’s a possibility that she would want to because she might want to know her genetic makeup (like where her ancestry is from), but I would be sad if she wanted to meet the donor because she thought they were their “real” mom. The egg donor is anonymous so it might not be a possibility. Also I plan to do 23&Me testing when she’s older so she knows where her ancestry is from.
How many IVFs did you have to do prior to deciding to use an egg donor?
Just one. They only retrieved 3 or 4 eggs and they were all bad even after using max dose of egg enhancing meds. My dr recommended going straight to egg donor because he didn’t see another IVF round showing a different outcome.
@@WannaBeMama how old are you? Do you have a low AMH?
I love this 🥰💙💯
Hope it was helpful 🥰
Would you still feel like this even if you used a donor egg but had a surrogate? so you didn't have that in utero bonding?
Oh for sure. You are a their mom. Being the one to take care of them once they are born makes the bond. They will know no one else but you. When my daughter was first born it took me a minute to bond with her because of hormones and fear of what If I won’t be able to bond with her. But my husband always says, “time is love”. Spend time with your baby and you will quickly feel the bond regardless if you carried them in your belly or not. That would be super mean of God to not give moms in your situation the same bond as other moms who can carry their baby. But luckily, God is all loving and doesn’t want you to miss out on anything because your body can’t carry a baby. So have peace and get excited. Regardless of how your baby comes to you, they are your baby and you will love them more than ANY other person in the whole world.
I am for kolkata. I have lost my only son. My doctor told me for dooner egg ivf. But i am confused. Please give some siggsion to me.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss!! What do you need help with? What are you confused about? 🙂
Where is your clinic?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Plz let me know the clinic name
Hello, can you share how many eggs your received and how many embryos created from those?
*donor eggs
I got 13 eggs from the donor and 5 of those eggs turned into 5-day embryos.
My doctors say to expect 25% of the eggs you get to turn into embryos. For example, if you get 4 eggs, statistically 1 of those eggs will turn into an embryo.
Ok thank you!! We bought a co-hort of 6 eggs
Did you choose a donor that resembles you,your facial features,eye,and hair colour,build etc. I think physical resemblance,with good intelligence, and health history would be vital for me. Then you get the best of both :)
Yes I did. 🥰
Thank u♥️🌹🌹(south africa)
Plz tell me where in usa and ur clinic name plz
Hi , I am 40 years old, I had a miscarriage then I tried with my own eggs and consulted a fertility specialist I went through IVF. Due to my low AMH. My doctor suggested instead of going through IVF. We will try our UA after 3/4attempts, my pregnancy confirmed again it’s a miscarriage ,I can’t bear the expenses for egg donation in US and went to my home country and tried IVF cycle with donor eggs, in the first cycle itself, my pregnancy, confirmed, I traveled from my home country to us, it’s in the 8th week I had a miss-carriage. Actually from the egg donor they retrieved 6 to 10 eggs, now they have three more embryos left with them is there anyway you can help me with your suggestion? Do you have any chances? Actually I wanted to try in the US but I’m a little bit scared of the expenses. can you please help me what can I do thank you so much.
It sounds like the problem might be your uterus or hormones. Did your doctors have you take progesterone shots? In the US you take progesterone shots up to 10weeks gestation when doing embryo transfers. A lot of miscarriages are due to low progesterone. I think the progesterone shots are more effective than progesterone pills.
If the issue is your uterus, have your doctor check you for endometritis (it’s different than endometriosis). Endometritis is inflammation in your uterus. It can make it so you can’t get pregnant and it also causes frequent miscarriages. I made a video about it here:
ua-cam.com/video/4r0l8rwHm1A/v-deo.html
(HAVE THEM CHECK YOUR UTERUS BEFORE YOU DO ANOTHER TRANSFER - my endometritis caused 2 donor egg embryos to fail).
Hopefully this helps you. 😘
Actually in USA doctor said u just need only one egg ur uteri’s really good he said. how much it will cost egg donor here ? Insurance will cover or no.
Put yourself in Joseph’s shoes with Mary. I’m POSITIVE Joseph loved Jesus as his own child.
Amen to that.
😂
Wow❤❤❤❤
I hope the video was helpful 🥰
I am from india
Subscribed
Do you have any questions?
Hi! Thanks for asking....I and my husband are planning to undergo IVF if it's God's will, do you think we still have a chance we're both 48. Thanks.
@@NercitaHolmgaard it honestly depends on your egg quality. There are miracles that happen but if it turns out you need to use an egg donor it will all turn out great.
@@WannaBeMama yes that's the option we're thinking, thanks
How is average couples afford such treatment .
A lot of saving. We lived off my husband’s paycheck and saved all of my paychecks. If we didn’t have help from our grandma it would have taken us about 9 months to save enough to pay for it. It’s doable; just takes time.
How much u pay for totally coast
I'm thinking that now there's a possibility of a natural pregnancy for you. It happens sometimes.
After a pregnancy.
That would be cool but I am honestly 100% fine with using my 2 remaining embryos from the egg donor because I don’t want my daughter feeling left out if her siblings were not genetically the same as her.
@@WannaBeMama aww, she's so cute. I'm so glad that your dream came true. Wish you the best.
@@adrianarodriguez6999 Thanks love 😘
Omg…. Your baby looks identical to you! Congratulations on your bravery, this is so awesome 👍
She looks like your husband! So cute
She is his twin. It’s adorable. He has strong genetics.
You are her mom! She must have absorb yr thing.. enzyme etc whatever yours, when she was in yr womb. You know what I mean. Called me crazy but I do believe so😉 Have a happy life! ❤️
To me she looks like her mom actually 😅😊 and I was surprised also 😊
Plus this is the second case in which I see something like that. It’s unbelievable how much we don’t know it seems.
So dangerous I’m glad I chose adoption