How to Pursue a Woman...The Right Way
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
- Please watch: "The ONE Thing Every Christian Should Be Doing But Most Are NOT!"
• The ONE Thing Every Ch... -~-
How should a Christian man pursue a Christian woman? That’s our topic today on the BEAT
What’s up everybody it’s your boy Allen here so today I want to talk to the single men and give some advice on how we can pursue a woman.
DISCLAIMERS: There is no biblical formula for how to pursue a woman or how to date (dating was not an issue in their culture). I confess that I did not personally see the value in these principles before I started courting my wife.
And so with that being said, I want to suggest 6 principles for how we men can get this right. (SCREEN: Ladies I need you would help us by holding us accountable to these 6 principles.)
1. Check Yourself - In other words, be honest about where you are emotionally and whether or not you are in the right place to spiritually lead a woman.
2. Consistency - Women can’t STAND a man who doesn’t follow through with what he says so make sure your actions are consistent with your words.
3. Clarity - It is so important to women for us to be crystal clear about what our intentions are from the jump. This has several benefits…
a. Sets you apart from other men who are interested in playing games
b. Establishes your leadership which she craves and desires
c. When you don’t it sends the message that she’s good enough to kick it with but not good enough to commit to. Once you’ve established clear intentions…
4. Caution - Be careful to avoid physical contact early on because… (ladies hold us accountable…)
a. CONTACT without COMMITMENT = CONFUSION
b. When a man becomes physical with a woman
i. “What is it about me that is good enough for him to lay up on but not commit to?”
ii. “How many other women is he kissing on since we are not exclusive?”
iii. “Is this just a physical thing?”
c. With each contact it engages her heart even more and puts her in a very insecure place
d. Something else to consider is that not only are you protecting her and her heart but you’re protecting yourself because if the relationship doesn’t work
e. But if you don’t it can have devastating effects on her self-esteem, can damage her trust in men and make it more difficult for the man that God sends to pursue her next. While it may be easy for us to move on, often times she may be left dealing with emotional pain of another broken relationship.
5. Community or Covering
a. In other words…find out who are the most influential people in her life.
b. If she mentions that she has a spiritual covering such as a pastor, mentor, life group leader or even her father it would be in your best interest to make your intentions known to them.
c. HUGE! Because…these are the people she trusts, respects and listens to. So it’s best to let these people know who you are and get them on your side early on.
d. Now let me be clear, you are NOT asking for permission but simply making your intentions known.
6. Character - (Prov. 31)
a. Many of us get so caught up in the physical attraction and ignore the character and then after the physical wears off we move on searching for something more. Pay more attention to the qualities you need in a wife not a girlfriend.
b. Studies show that even in good marriages couples have sex for about 2 hours a week. It’s her character that will keep you engaged the other 166.
I wish someone would have told me this a long time ago. So guys the good news is that God doesn’t expect us to be perfect before we pursue a woman. But I hope this list gives us something to shoot for as we experience the challenges of dating.
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Hey guys! I just wanted to share some wisdom from experience with pursuing a girl in a Godly manner. I am currently pursuing a girl at the moment and one thing I have learned is that your emotions will deceive you! It is natural for us as men to have an emotional bond with a women but those emotions will not keep you together, only seeking God will! I constantly have to seek God when it comes to the young lady that I have come to love through loving God and to properly approach her heart with same heart that Jesus has for us. It took alot of prayer and breaking off pride to get to a point where no matter what the future may hold for us in God's will I will pursue this girl with a heart to love on her regardless if we get together or not. It sounds crazy but that's the kind of heart Jesus had when he died for us. He didn't do it for any gain of his own but because he loved us so much he died for us. We as Godly men must swallow our pride and pursue our women with a heart selflessness. Yall be blessed man.
Undefeated, that was some great wisdom man! I pray God's best blessings on you as your pursue this young lady. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with the community.
Appreciate it man! And keep the videos coming man! I truly learn alot from them!
Correct sir. Love her spiritually first continually like you are doing. She is your sister in Christ (she is important to God as you are to God)she needs prayer, encouragement, and keep the Lord on your lips when you talk to her. Keep her drawing closer to God.
+Dwayne CHance I'm do glad you said that because God has been showing me lately how he has been using her to sharpen me in my walk in a way that she does not even notice she is doing. But I completely agree that I need to keep the Lord on my lips when it comes to her because if I weren't pursuing the heart of Jesus I would have never been able to pursue her this far.
Undefeated Failure that's awesome!
Everyday I pray for God to bring a godly Christian man that loves the Lord above all things into my life. Its just so difficult... not being pursued by real Christian men. Worldly men will have no qualms coming up and talking, asking for my number...yet I know in my heart that these men are not what I want... I don't want a smoking, blaspheming, worldly man. Im 30, have no children and really allowing the Lord to work on me to become a godly woman. I take care of my body and appearance(watch what I eat and exercise), I take care of my mind( I read, study and apply Gods word and especially on topics of being godly woman). This has been the toughest struggle of my life(the loneliness, the thoughts about rejecting worldly men and thinking what if thats all thats there for me and I will end up alone)...I have to cast down these thoughts, reminding myself of Gods word and not being unequally yoked. I want to please and honour the Lord in all I do so Id rather be alone then with a man that does not love and live for the Lord.
Liv Louw youre not alone. Gods timing is everything! blessed
Liv Louw and here's the thing when a woman types a message like this that they are looking for a man. a man shows up and types back a message genuinely saying that he's interested in going out with a girl and they rejected the guy. after all that the woman typed about they are looking for a man one comes and they reject them, its kinda Hippocritical if you ask me but this isn't direct to you I meant to other woman who type like the same message you type and a man finds a girl and is genuine and the get rejected and they didn't even give them a chance.
You sound just like me when I was single. I married when I was 33, after years of committing and recommitting this area to God. I will pray for you. God has good plans for you.
Amen i'm the same about a woman
Hi Liv Louw how are you?
So true! I am happily married to a godly man now, but really struggled in my single years with guys who weren't intentional, and never followed through. Very hurtful. This message is vital.
I'm 16 and I'm blessed I saw this
Wish I saw this at your age with my first gf
@Coool797 hahaha everything happens for a reason. Trust me, it's easier to keep pushing through
Thanks for the advice, I'm friends with a woman I'm interested in. It seems she is interested in me too. I've been waiting for the Lord's timing. I've also tried to not listen to the world saying you're in the friend zone. I don't want to just date a woman, because it's just a option. I want to date a woman because I want to get married, and date a godly woman because I'm considering marriage to her!
Ty I apologize for not responding sooner. So glad you are dating specifically for marriage. I believe that's what we as Christians should be doing. Proud of you bro!
Thanks bro!
at 56, and chilling, sounds like a lotta work, ha ill stick to being a christian MGTOW-
As a woman, this is so encouraging to see that there are men who still think this way! God bless!
@@kendesjarlais7577 Not everyone is meant for marriage
I concur. We should treat all Christian women that way. Treat them like sisters in Christ not mess over their temples or bring add'l drama. The one that we are favored by God to marry is a friend at one point. Recently I visited my lady friend's church because I said I would come visit again (you said consistency) and I have met her sister, her niece, and her aunt the 1st time that she talks about from time to time. My old female Christian friends told this is a serious and special moment that just happen. Good women will say and do things that would never happen if we as men rush the process that God intends
The best thing to show a Youth Group! Thank you!
+Kellen Mullinnix Thank you so much Kellen! And thank you for subscribing. This is a relatively new channel (August 2015). If you're looking for more content to help with spiritual growth I encourage you to head to my website www.allenparr.com. Have a great evening!
Again spot on. Since I have been single for 7 years.
This is a new approach for pursuing a godly woman.
Which I have never done, but my heart always desires that.
Which requires to look at women differently.
Asking God for guidance.
Great video Brother Parr
Be praying for my brother Allen and other brothers. This channel is awesome.
As a godly woman, I can say yes yes YES to all of these things!!!! If I saw a guy treating me in this way, I would respect him very highly!!!
This is so good! I coach Christian women in marrying well and these things are SPOT ON!! Thank you for helping the men!
I'm learning so much. People can't just read my mind. I have to communicate where this is going and what we are doing .
Excellent! This message needs to be heard ! 👍👍👍
I wasn’t expecting this to be THIS on point!!!
I can’t stress enough how spot on this is
I think it is important when we are in friendships with the opposite gender to guard our hearts. I was recently friends with someone who indicated that he liked me and I was really praying about it, but suddenly he just got into a relationship with another girl. He really hurt me. I pray and ask that all brothers in Christ would be careful with how they treat their sisters--caring for their hearts and not leading them into false hope (if they aren't interested in a relationship). I know sisters in Christ should do the same but men are the pursuers in this area.
Did you make him know you were praying about it?
How long did you take to give him an answer? Lots of times when women say "maybe" or "let me think/pray about it," that's just a soft way of saying "no." Especially if a woman told me that and still hadn't given me an answer in a week, I would just assume that the answer was "no," and move on. If I then met another woman who gave me an enthusiastic "yes," then I would happily pursue her instead.
Sounds like that's what happened, so he moved on and found a woman that was excited to pursue a relationship with him. Did you expect him to be exclusive with you when you weren't even sure whether you would go on one date with him?
Sounds like you took way too long, a large portion of that pain is entirely your fault. The man chooses who he wants to be with at the end of the day, just like the woman can call off the relationship at any moment. Seriously, don't hesitate when a Godly man asks you with full intention of getting to know you better specifically for marriage.
I will bear these in mind in my next relationship if and when the Lord will bless me with that. Thank you my brother! 🙏🏼
Physical- emotional- spiritual bonds brother amen. For the single men, be aware keep being proactive in getting rid of ways of temptation. Don’t deceive your self and play with the fire. For those who have friends or brothers who are believers and are just hanging out but are in the open range of temptation and justify their situation. Pray and be an open ear and be that iron to sharpen them
Right on the money, Allen! Thanks for sharing. God bless!!
Waow! As a woman watching this… this is just sooo spot on!!!
Absolute truth! This is Gold!
I'm 15 lol pray that God gives me the opportunity.
Some real food for thought here brother. God Bless you.
In the modern day dating / relationship no one wants to be there to remain pure anymore brother Many years I've also dealt with loose men so to speak.Now thank God I have a man who Respects my moral values.
Thank you for being an instrument in my life!
Beautiful message so glad I found this channel
Thank-you for doing this video a lot of Christian want to know I am sure how to pursue a godly woman and this is how to go about it ,if all else fails ask questions find out what is important to her ,pursue her the way she wants to be pursued she is not trying to make it difficult she just knows her worth!
Thank you Allen for this needed message ❤️
Excellent video. Thank you.
Amen!!!!!!!...and I say "Amen!!! again! Where was this information about 30 years ago when I started dating...LOL! This is some powerful teaching Allen! Both men and women should understand that everytime a person sleeps with another person they are creating "soul ties" to that person. Soul ties that are hard to break especially if the relationship is based solely on sex. You are right on point with abstaining from sexual contact until there is a commitment...and the commitment being "marriage". Thanks for sharing Allen!
Awesome video. This is information that I wish I would have know earlier in my life.
Wow I didn't know that and nobody told me this before I would like to learn more and teach me to know about this topic
Thank u man . Your video really helped me
Loved this! Thanks brother Allen!
Your position is right on point as usual, brother. I do have one question, though; where did you get that shirt?! I need one! :-)
😂🤣😂😁
😅 😅 😅 😅
Yeah, I was like that's a nice shirt, wonder if it's in his merge store. 😂
That appla watch tho! 😂 bless you brother good video!
Spot on advice!
Thanks, Allen great insight. Finding a Godly woman is so important. It is one of the most important decisions you can make in your life and it will affect you for a lifetime. GREAT ADVISE.
thanks for posting. I agree
+Dree Koole thank you! I hope you enjoy some of the other videos on this channel and the content on my website www.allenparr.com. God bless,
I love this truth, thank you!!!
thanks this helps me so much more to understand what to do more of and less of.
Thank you for making this video 🙏🏾
This helps very well
Another great video! Great job, Allen!
Another great video Allen! Congrats!
Thanks so much for watching and for your comment Meesh! God bless,
Once again Allen, you hit the nail on the head. Everything I’m feeling, you covered. Thank you so much for these videos. They have been a blessing to me. 🙏🏾
love your shirt!
I’m praying for a man of God that has all the things that I need #waitingonGod🙏🏼
Wow very eye opening
This man is incredible
God bless you brother. Right now I want you to know I've been trying to date women for the past six or seven years. Been married several times marriage fail
Bruh, tell me, what did you find to be the common factors in the marriage failing? I personally don’t think of a marriage that may not have work like we planned a failure.
Thank you！ Good video！
Great advice, thank you! 🙏🏾 single men, hope you all were taking notes. 😉
Are u taking them Gigi
Thank you for making this video. I used to think about relationships a lot, but I was at a prayer breakfast recently and the discussion we had made me realize that sometimes the things our hearts desire most might not actually be good for us. Marriage is something I have thought about my entire life, but I wasn't saved until recently. I watched this video out of curiosity, but I do understand that if God so chooses to bless me with a wife, I have a lot of growing to do first. I need to be faithful with the little things first. I have accepted the fact that I may never be blessed with a wife, but I wanted to watch this video just in case a woman should come into my life that I might want to pursue. I'm glad I found your channel. It's given me a lot to think about, but I can clearly see now that instead of focusing on things that I want for myself, I need to put my focus on God and what God wants for me and what God expects from me.
The words of a fellow romantic! Glad to know
Subscribed recently. I am trying to follow the Christian Path. And it feels right. I appreciate your videos. Much love from Botswana. That's in Southern Africa ;)....just in case you didn't know...
It is the right way my friend! So glad you are finding the videos helpful. My wife is from Nigeria!
THE BEAT by Allen Parr that's hectic. I am born and raised in Botswana. My mother is from Botswana but My father is Nigerian. Yoroba Nigerian to be precise. Anyways God bless and keep the videos coming. Really helpful on my path.
to.be
😅 😅 😅 😅
I like your shirt!
Good video. Sound advice. Thanks for clearing up that the bible doesn't deal with dating per say. It only deals with principles of friendship and marriage. Both people have to be intentional and communicate what they want
Turanico1 very true. Thank you my friend,
Well spoken
Thank you Allen Parr for your guidance in these real life situations. My hearts always in the right place when I've made decisions to apply these life skills to RL situations but, I've made a few life changing mistakes its hindered me in moving forward with trying some of these methods out. Any ideas on how to win the morning from a christian point of view? Or if anyone from this community can help I'll be greatful. Thank you and God Bless from Auckland, New Zealand.
This will help me on journey
right on brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your advice on letting the ones she holds most dear in her life aware of your intentions, is a very awesome approach. My question is for my example is a woman I want to court holds her father most dear. I don’t know him personally but how would I go about letting him know of my intentions as a guy he doesn’t know from his perspective?
Following this thread 😊
Dear Lord thank you. Amen
Well I don't think I'm going to have time to be pursued until I've caught up on all you videos. Bye life!!! Not complaining though. LOL.
this really gave me alot of in sight. If you can could you make a video as to how a Godly husband should talk to His wife especially dealing with putting your foot down and being a strong man for her. I hear so much of the world say women like a man that knows how to take control and that can lead I just need more insight on that.
maurice glass it depends on you and the women you’re dealing with tbh
God Bless you for providing Godly wisdom and sound instruction. Here's my question, if the courtship ends, should the man then go back to the person that he spoke with and let them know the relationship has ended?
Shy Goy good question
Amen brother!!!!
How can I purchase a t-shirt like yours, X-tra Large? Please reply with info.
Hello from the Beat is there session of dating vs courtship
Brother Allen been trying to date women on the websites Christian websites. And brother I wish your wife can put out a video to the women how to pursue a man.
well this confirms i have no capacity for marriage now or ever. im way to emotionally detached for marriage
Please, explain spiritual covering... thanks
Allen do you have any videos on when your wife doesn't love you anymore and on divorce. Thank you sir Tim Croffoot
Hey, thanks for the video.
You said about making your intentions crystal clear, that I want to date her. Could you expound a bit on that? like, how and when it is to be done? cuz the wrong way or time can do the opposite or get you friendzoned.
How do you take things to the next level, i.e., let her know that you want to be serious with her, date her and marry her and not just look like everyone else in the church, and be just a friend. How do you get to being the boyfriend from friend without ruinging it.
Also, one more question, cuz there's not many rescources on christian dating. Where do you spend time together with her. cuz, for example, in the church or a prayer meeting, etc, she will be with her family and other people who know her, so she may not be very comfortable to be very open to you or give you a lot of time.
Thanks.
My question is where do you find good Christian women? All the good Christian women my age are married.
Hey my friend, while I do not encourage going to church for the purpose of scouting out Single women, I do think that this is probably one of the best places to go defined Great Christian women. But I have the same issue that you did. I waited until I was 40 years old until I got married. A lot of the women either had children or have a lot of baggage. But God truly blessed me with an amazing wife in his timing. I trust that he will do the same for you in his timing.
I'm 37 and divorced..I have the same problem..most men my age are married
Captain Awesome The best way to find out is in her conversation and lifestyle.
Captain Awesome that is a good question I wanted to know that to
Captain Awesome I’m a 28 year old Christian woman and I feel like everyoneeeee in already married or in a relationship. It’s so hard to find single people!!
Thanks loads
No kissing before marriage and no lusting after her before marriage
Brother Allen the remind you I'm not egotistical. Or conceited I'm not a bad looking man. God brought me from a long way brother Allen. I hope to hear from you soon brother cuz I need help. And I'm not getting any younger
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Thanks Erinn!
1 Corinthians 7
Do not seek a wife if you are loosed from one.
Thanks
What if she is the one getting close physically? What if you are not sure she is the one?
I have a question for you but I don't feel comfortable asking it here. Is there any other way I can write a question? Thanks :)
I am going to be clear. Where does it say a Preist is important in our lives including between god and our relationship with him? We sort out our salvation with god not a preist period.
Brother I am sick and tired of discouraged of today's women.a lot of women tell me they seeking for a god-fearing man that live for God in Christ guess what they don't know how to treat them.
Your not wrong. Good men get treated harshly, by the wrong woman. The problem is we as men, get hurt, we get protective of our hearts, and end up changing due to the pain. Modern woman have basically killed "the good man". The harsh reality is, that men adapt. So we have adapted to these types of woman, thus making bad men.
LINK PLEASE TO HOW TO BE FOUND AS YOUNG LADY PLEASE Minister PARR
nice!
Thanks Ryu. Hey, you got a Street Fighter name bro! Lol. Do you have a twin brother named Ken?
Hallelujah 🙏🙏🙏🙏
My late wife and i did not kiss until we were engaged. That strengthened our marriage enormously.
I'm so sorry to hear that you lost her. My condolences. Is there a reason you didn't miss until you were engaged?
That's awesome.
@@brooketaylor8560 is it taking it too far tho?! Like that just seems odd
@@jordyhitty I think it just depends on the couple. You'll avoid so much temptation to do more if u wait. Me, I kiss my bf all the time. I think it'd have been cool if we had waited for engagement. It would make it more special. Idk lol
@@brooketaylor8560 well I get that, but I think GIFs gift to us when were married is sex, and if you don't do it before then, it would feel like a great accomplishment. It depends on the couple for sure. But if you can handle kissing as bf and gf then I think it's fine ahha
wait so wait for marriage or no?
Wanna get the women, be Solomon👌🏾
AMEN!
Thanks Tisha
Um... I feel like the terms physical contact should be clear here. There should be no sex before marriage how would only kissing make a woman think he just wants me for my body? What is happening?
I love you and your educational videos, Allen...but...when that average of 1.3 came up, I burst out laughing. 1.3 times a week is GOLD! 😂. I'm just imagining a guy saying, I had relations with my wife once this week! Wooo! 0.3 To go! Awwwe yeeeah! (Puts on Barry White) 💁💃
+The Flame On Fire!!! Hilarious!!!
+The Flame On Fire!!! Ha! Yeah man. That was funny. Thanks friend,
and when they are 10 or 20 years older
Do any of you guys ever sit down and think. "Gosh, you know, shouldn't I be thinking for myself instead of letting somebody else run my life?"
did you mean about physical contact is sexual immorality?, are you saying that it is okay to have sexual or physical contact even they are not married yet?.
Damn bruh! Crystal clear
Hello there, I want to know if Troplusfix Dating Secrets, will really work for me? I see many people keep on talking about this popular dating course.