@@MiZZVMN What? OP told her mom she was leaving her husband *before* dating someone else, so that has no impact on her mom demanding to know if she cheated. OP mentioned she and her siblings are children of divorce so I have to assume that Dad cheated and Mom thought her daughter obviously MUST have done the same.
@@dimsufferer9951 or maybe mom cheated and that’s why she asked? Probably will not know. I don’t understand either how can someone think of dating so soon after something like this, and not just with this story, but many others on Reddit, but people are different so I assume this is normal for some people. 🤷🏻♀️
I take as OPs mom knows here better than we do and maybe she thinks it completely possible for her daughter to cheat OPs plan was stupid and may still have bit her in the ass with no other updates.
I really don’t get the logic of not telling anyone why she is divorcing him because she doesn’t want the bully to know she hurt her. What does it matter in the long run? They can’t hurt her more than they have. She would rather look like the bad guy than confront these trash people.
Tbh I felt the same until the update with the text from the bully….it’s very very clear that the bully was looking for a reaction and would have been extremely pleased to have gotten one. I think in the future OP should divulge the truth publicly, but for now I think I understand her decision. It’s clear her NOT owning up to knowing or blasting the news took the wind out of the bully’s sails
@@mage1439 Especially with a kid on the way. A judge could have decided that her leaving “for no reason” means she’s not fit to be primary caretaker to the kid.
@@dimsufferer9951 I doubt that. It may make her divorce harder, but I can guarantee she's most likely going to get custody. Family court tends to favor the mother, and plus the husband seems to be bending over backwards to try to please her, he's most likely not gonna fight her.
@@fizzles5 I originally thought that too, until the bully reached out to OP. And the husband will not forget OP anytime soon, she's in his head and it won't be easy for him to move on.
The way this OP is going about it is just asking for trouble. She only told a few people WHY she left him and now she's dating someone else while pregnant? She's going to end up looking like the cheater.
Plus Ms. Bully is definitely going to try to make a move on any new man she dates. I’m glad OP has decided to tell any man she dates to be wary of Ms. Bully.
Unless the OP looking like a cheater would ruin her life/career in some way who cares? Now - hs bullies aren't often the best people but they rarely stalk you in to adulthood and screw your partner. That behavior is quite unhinged.
Man, OP's plan was SOO BAD that it hurt, but I guess she knows her ex and her bully better than us and that they weren't smart enough to take advantage of her, I hope she gets better at picking friends and resolving conflict tho.
she got lucky she clearly isnt smart she was easily manipulated by her own insecurities to hide their sins "dont want them know they hurt me" anyone who thinks this way is not very smart
@@demonic_myst4503 I thought that at first too, but upon that update with the former mistress trying so hard to get a reaction out of her, she did the right thing. It's actually kind if funny that the husband will forever be left in limbo of whether she knows or not. The ultimate karma knife that keeps twisting, especially bow that they have a child who may also learn the truth one day. This is killing him inside, I have no doubt.
Her plan was absolutely terrible, but I'm glad it worked anyway. The bully sounds weirdly fixated on OP, though, especially with asking him about her, and then telling her about it. It's creepy af.
That’s not uncommon. Maliciously insecure people often target the people they are jealous of. They want what they have, because they feel it will make them whole, when in reality, it just feeds their insecurity. Women who knowingly target married men are often like that. Their true motive is to feel desirable, so they can tell themselves that they’re “better then the wife.”
I had a bully who was obsessed with me, she even followed me around the clothes store I worked at begging for attention and when I refused to serve her she got upset and called my supervisor to make me serve her....
I kind of wish OP had just put the last nail in the coffin by telling her ex something along the lines of "Oh I heard from *bully* that you cheated on me, it made me feel kind of releived that we both were on the same page. Now i dont feel as bad for leaving you" just to reassure him that this was just plainly OP's decision.
@@MistressSuki92 obsession bullying (coin by me). A bully that is obsessed with hurting one particular target/victim, as if they NEED to ruin that person's life no matter how many years have passed and that victim has moved on. Obsessive bullies never change from their mental need to destroy an imaginary enemy in order to live their own life, and to some severe degree they get a sick pleasure out of it. You are right that this can stem from a mental illness. (Maybe a combination of narcissistic personality disorder, dissociative personality disorder and sociopathy. It can turn to psychosis if said bully starts to self destruct when the power they had over their victims is taken away.)
@@LunaP1 hey just informationally, “dissociative personality disorder” isn’t a thing. I think you’re referring to dissociative identity disorder, which was renamed from multiple personality disorder because it isn’t a personality disorder, and as such has no correlation to the type of bullying you’re describing. I have diagnosed DID and was bullied, just want to stop the spread of misinformation whenever I can :)
I’m really glad that OP’s bully will never be a stepmother to her baby, and I’m glad that OP gray-rocked both of them. But I think OP should be careful because I feel like her bully is an obsessive person and she’s fixated on OP. It feels weird that she somehow ended up not only moving to the same area OP was living in, but she got integrated into OP’s circle of friends. Not to mention sleeping with OP’s husband. I fully expect her surfacing again and making a move on her new boyfriend. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised that when OP gives birth she’ll pop up trying to be buddy-buddy with OP to try and gain access to OP’s child.
Sadly, this isn't the first time that I read that have similar situations like this one. You'll be shockrd how many stories that the victim's (mostly females) that have their bully(or tormentor)(mostly females as well) actually stalked their victim's life and get married to their brother(if they have one). The bullies are always the most pathetic people on earth but can be the scariest when the bully will take things hard to see their victim's life more miserable and love to see when they took their life. I heard in the news when the boys who's the bullies mock their victim's death after they bullied her so bad and then posted on their social media. Thankfully, they're dumb because everyone knows their names and looks. They did receive hate mails and threats. The police have no choice to protect the boys and the parents, well, they didn't punish them. But for op, I would ask her mom or the lawyer about getting restraining order against her bully because she will follow op's life.
Yeah, OP doesn't understand the situation she is in. She thinks running away (regarding the bully) will solve everything. But unfortunately I bet bully is not done with OP yet.
@@silverstarmoon5802 There are so many awful stories of bullies marrying siblings of their victims. I read one story where OP’s daughter was brutally bullied in high school to the point where she was hospitalized after attempting suicide-and this same bully later married OP’s son! The victim’s brother! Like, I cannot conceive of someone being romantically involved with a person who drove their sibling into attempting suicide! Luckily in the case of that story, _nobody_ in the family wanted anything to do with OP’s son or his wife (OP included) but she posted in AITA about it because her son was trying to guilt her about the situation.
Story 1: Another terrible part of OP's situation, is that at NO point does the ex own up to his part in the consequences or acknowledge (let alone apologize) what he did to her. He doesn't seem to stand 10 toes on *anything,* not even in any of his relationships.
@@JY-vh3be Likely why it was so easy for the bully! He was a WEAK man who thought he could have his cake and eat it! And now he knows with OP even having to let on she knows he cheated that "his Affair Partner was his wife's UNAPOLOGETIC HS BULLY!" Meaning it will ALWAYS be on his mind that she approached him NOT because she found him INTERESTING, or a CATCH! But because "he was the best means to hurt the Poster!" A womanchild that peaked in HS and never grew up and still haunting her victim after graduation because she can't move on with her life and is trying to drag OP down with her! Eventually that woman isn't going to be able to sustain harassing OP as her Reputation drops and shit hits the fan for her! So it WILL stop whatever she walks away now or not (and even if she walks away "Satisfied she ruined OP marriage" it won't give her the Sustenance she desired since OP never gave the reaction she expected! This is why her kind are PATHETIC! They don't quit till their FORCED to quit!)
"I just don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt me" Girl she's gonna get that satisfaction the moment you leave without saying anything. She knows why she's doing this. YOU know why she's doing this. Keeping silent is just gonna tell her that she could straight up kill someone and you wouldn't do shit about it out of fear you'd "give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt you" You know what _wouldn't_ give her satisfaction? Telling people that she's a (word I can't say) and c u next tuesday who just can't keep her shit together for the life of her so she ruins other people's lives to drag them down with her. Expose how pathetically desperate she is for validation and attention and that you're not just gonna roll over and take her bullshit.
I agree completely! They know they've hurt her. She could easily return the favor by exposing them in their community as adulterous scum. At least they lose a few friends that way and in a small town they can wind up losing their jobs. Even if there are few assets she could still use that in court to her advantage. When someone wounds you if you don't strike back decisively (but legally) they win. She handed them the game by leaving silently. If it's a small town they will assume she's the cheater. And she's also decided to remain tied to him for the rest of her life. smh
The bully will just keep trying to bother the OP even if she doesn't get a reaction here. Probably more now because she went through the trouble of having an affair with the OPs husband just to get to the OP.
We all doubted her, but OP really just mind-fucked the hell out of her ex. The whole I know and you know that I know and I know that you know that I know, but I'm not going to say one damn word. BRILLIANTLY PLAYED
@@fatimakhatun5788 I admit that OP's plan went well when it could've backfired spectacularly on her, but cheaters deserve to be publicly exposed. I just wish her ex got the public comeuppance he deserves
OK, I feel way more relaxed about OPs plan after hearing she told her mum and friends about the real reason. Also that fact that she heard along the grapevine how bully reacted to ex breaking things off means that other people are now aware first hand that they were screwing around while OP and he were together. And, as I've said in another comment, the way she replied to bully confessing the affair in a VERY clear attempt to upset her was executed beautifuly!
It's so satisfying that OP's gut was right. She did not feed the ego of her bully. Hopefully the bully will be thoroughly deterred from interfering in OP's life further.
S1 - At first I was frustrated and wanted OP to GO OFF on her husband but in the end, I liked the way OP handled this; on HER terms! Neither the husband nor the evil affair partner got an emotional "payout" from OP😂 They were left dazed and confused! She's a true savage!😏
Yeahhh she could have done this with way more spine and achieved the same if not better results lol nothing savage about this but also this isn't for a woman of my caliber to understand lmaooooooo
It might have been read here or another channel about a month or so ago. Yeah OP got confronted by new GF then OP told her what the boyfriend was really like. Best friend got mad at OP for saying so as if she hadn’t been there. Turns out best friend was sleeping with him and claims “he’s different”
@@Wander85942 oh I remember that one, op and bff meat up, bff brings the bf to prove he's changed . Bff starts crying and bf was mad at OP about hurting his girl, OP proved he didnt changed bff didnt care
Op weaponized her “ignorance” to the cheating and it’s going to bother the ex and the bully more then anything to not have her give a “proper reaction” the husband is going to sit in and be bothered by the idea of if she new before the divorce or not and the bully is going to be bothered by not having that “win” the bully probably craves the idea of knowing her direct actions ruined ops life and she’s not getting that.
Op's ex already knew he f up. Don't know why he even tried to rekindle the relationship when he already did wrong. Like was op's ex thinking he have can both?
S1: OPs revenge is a slow burn. Her EX will forever be in limbo, thinking what went wrong. It like "Whats in the box?" scenario. I like it. She did not give her bully the satisfaction and her husband, the closure.
For those saying she handled this confrontation and divorce the wrong way; read Sun Tzu's "The Art of War." She handed the two cheaters their asses, psychologically speaking. He wants to blame shift or blame share, then ask for forgiveness. If he wanted to take full responsibility and make an amends he would confess and ask for marriage counseling. He didn't. The bully wants to revel in being the cause of OPS misery, once again. Neither one got what they wanted and were left hanging wondering what she actually knew. Bravo, OP 👏
Story 1: At first I felt OP should rage at her STBX about what she found out. However in retrospect, pointing out who the Harlot was to her in the past and not giving him a chance to make excuses or apologize ang leaving him second guessing for the rest of his life is nuclear powered and very deserving revenge. I wonder if one day she will tell her daughter what really happened . . .
I was super disappointed in what she was doing til I learned she at least told the folks close to her about what was really going on and why she wanted to divorce. Glad she found folks who don't have loose lips to confide in. So those who need to know do and the perps are hanging in the wind.
OP is my hero. I love how she handled it because it is exactly what I hope I would do if I was in her shoes (except for keeping the baby). Don't give the cheating spouse a chance to defend themselves and feed you more lies or anything. Let him feel as lost as you were when you found out. Also, the bully definitely got caught unaware when she didn't blindside her as she had hoped to. Take the power back.
'I asked her why she would admit to something so pathetic' oh you better SNATCH her wig! LOL She is very intuitive about her soon to be ex and her former bully and as the story went on I definitely get her playing oblivious instead of blowing it up because it's both come out in its own way and put guilt even more squarely on her STBX. He can't admit his remorse without admitting his wrong and she can eventually still inform him she knows anyway.
Some bullies convince themselves that their victim is horrible, to justify their bullying As a victim if bullying, bullies know what hurts you, they know and they think ignoring them and avoiding retaliation is a sign of them being more powerful than you. This is why fighting back usually stops bullies
It's just a shame that they teach us in school to never fight back against your bullies, and to go get a "trusted adult" instead. The problem is, the schools usually do next to nothing, because they would rather avoid that angry phone call from the bully's parents. It's only when the victim's parents threaten to press charges (as my parents did in regard to one of my many bullies) that the school finally takes action, if only to save their own hide rather than because it's the right thing to do. Unfortunately, fighting back always ends up getting both the bully and the victim in trouble (the infamous zero-tolerance policy), even when the bully was the obvious instigator, especially if it was caught on camera. I think back to the case involving an Australian kid by the name of Casey Heynes, known online as the "Zangief Kid," due to the way he power slammed his bully to the ground being similar to a move used by Zangief from Street Fighter. Even though it was an obvious act of self-defense, he also got punished by school officials. But he was ultimately vindicated online, in the media, and by the general public.
I hope that something is spread around the friend group mentioned in story 1 about the bully and her history. Nip any other harm she would try with anyone else in the bud. I also wonder regarding OP's family history and how that caused her to take the route she took. She told her mother she wanted a divorce and the mother's first response was whether OP cheated. Then later it came out that OP's parents were divorced. Did her parents help her at all when she was a child and being bullied? What is this fixation the bully had with her? Did she follow her to the bigger city, and when OP didn't acknowledge her, that's when the bully decided to go after her husband, or was that part of the bully's plan? I do think OP handled the bully connacting her afterwards perfectly. Don't show a response. Grey rock. The bully got her second hand trash anyway.
I agree. Initially I was against her not confronting them... mostly cuz I thought she wasn't gonna tell anyone. But she told ppl close to her and left them both in confusion
Story 1) Honestly op did the best move . Not telling her close family circle. So they wouldn’t push for reconciliation and make it more harder on her. But she should put the bully’s name on not to go with custody pick up and drop off. Even if she isn’t with her ex. You never know what she is capable of.
Story 1: ex is going to be in for quite a surprise when the daughter gets older and wants to know why mom and dad aren’t together, he tries some sob story about she just left one day, and then mom tells her the real story.
This is my favourite cheating story, as tragic as it is. She handles everything so perfectly. Her HS bully doesn’t get any satisfaction because of her perfect response, only rejection and non importance. The husband clearly still Loves her because of avoiding talking about her with his AF, and so hearing how his affair partner was his wife’s bully, he probably realises how he was used by AF like a chump, and knowing that his wife knows. Man, he must feel so tormented and guilty. And I love that. He deserves it. He gets punished in a way that most of the other cheating bastards don’t because they’re all delusional, but he’s not. It’s tragic. I wonder when he’ll start admitting to himself what he did to her, what he lost. And I hope, for OP’s sake, he keeps what little dignity he has left in how he treats her. Wish I knew what would happen in the future.
Oooooo imagine announcing to him that you're pregnant with the ultrasounds, at all excited and etc with him, and then the next day, he serves him with divorce papers along with the news that you terminated the pregnancy. But I'm just nuclear revenge 💁🏻♀️
We need to be kinder to OP in this. She didn’t want any more pain, attention, or drama. And her bully WANTED OP’s reaction. OP knew that the best way to win this game was to not play at all. She removed herself from the board without a word, her ex is desperate from not truly knowing the truth, and her bully alone and looking like the fool she is, unfulfilled.
Story 1. Just because people are your family does not mean they will have your back. Op's mom's first question was if her daughter was cheating. Seems like there are some issues there
Bully got with OP's husband just to spite OP. And Bully won't get the reaction she wants. So watch Bully dump ex as soon as possible. EDIT: LOL Bully didn't get the reaction she wanted and Ex dumped her first☠️
I actually really vibe with OP’s quiet transition. Her ex KNOWS that she knows. He KNOWS that’s why she’s leaving. He KNOWS that’s why he’s missing out on her birth and cold turkey not being allowed to be close to OP. And yet with all that continues to lie to OP in her face. Every day that passes by without a SINGLE apology and bringing up “working it out” is a complete lie. Spineless, pathetic, and selfish even throughout the most precious moments of a child he claims he wants to be a part of. Liars are the worst because you never know them and can’t rely on them. Even OP admits that she HOPES he won’t make the bully the step mother to their kid because he can’t even be trusted to be honest. This guy is so selfish he refuses to believe that OP has too much self respect to still want to be with him. I hope she hides her new relationship for after the divorce is finalized. She owes him zero honesty. She owes him zero knowledge on what her next move is or what her life is like. What people say about her is worthless. People can label her a cheater and it wouldn’t hurt her one bit. Eventually, the truth will come out and everyone will sympathize with her. She only values the judgment of her mother and close friends. She’s happy and supported. I call that winning. The comment section disagreeing would never understand that type of happiness. That type of control. That type of freedom.
Contrary to reddit on this one, I LOVE this plan. She is denying him of any closure, forever. No explanations, no chance to fight and argue and say "see I had to cheat because look how much you nag me", nothing. It's beautiful, psychological torture. I wouldn't have enough determination to carry it all out, but kudos!
Husband def knows why OP left. And he's very regretful. Unfortunately he ruined his marriage over AP games and obsession. And he gets to be reminded of what he lost everytime he sees OP and his daughter. What a tool.
Story 1: Of course, the relationship fell apart with the bully. The bully only wanted to hurt the OP, this was one way to respond to it. The one thing I want to know is why did the ex-husband go through with the affair and why he still denies it.
Op was right about the bully. When she corrected her saying no im sure we were seeing each other while you were married. Thats the only reason she contacted you because she didnt get a reaction the way she wanted
I'm really freaking proud of the OP in this story. Bullies and abusers get off on the emotional response they get from hurting you. If you deprive them of that, they don't get their fix. She made the right choice. I wouldn't have kept the baby though, and I hope that OP's ex doesn't use their daughter to try and manipulate his way back into her life. Hopefully she keeps things extremely separate, and has a nanny or her mother hand off her daughter for visitation. Hopefully things work out with her new partner as well. OP deserves so much better than the way she's been treated.
Okay, my nickname for OP is Navier now, and her ex-husband Sovieshu, both from The Remarried Empress webnovel and Webtoon (which I discovered about a week ago and immediately fell in love with, due to it being thematically similar to Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon, two shows that I love for the palace intrigue). Both stories largely play out the same: husband cheats on his wife, they get divorced, but the ex-wife stays strong and goes on to live her best life with a new romantic partner who picks up the pieces of her broken heart while the ex-husband and his mistress find their lives falling apart. The ex-husband is left to drown in his guilt, pining for his ex-wife, who no longer loves him. They say the best revenge is to live your best life, and let karma sort out the rest; no need to give your tormenters the satisfaction of knowing how much they hurt you or trying to hurt them back in a messy divorce. And that's what happened in both stories. It's actually quite satisfying in both cases.
People trying to keep under just infuriate me. Cheaters thrives in secrecy, by trying to keep it secret, you only play their hand. It's so dumb I can't even sympathize.
She didn't keep it secret. She told her mother and friends. And people were aware her husband cheated because OP's best friend told her that her ex and the bully broke up.
This is the most boss thing I've ever heard in my entire natural life. I picture her narrating this story from an outdoor table at a Paris cafe with sunshades and a scarf wrapped around her head. She has destroyed them, she moves on to her ordinary life leaving destruction in her wake. In a new city... with a new job, her friends will never know and always see her as a shy bakery owner. As the credits roll the camera pans upwards and finally into the clouds
it's refreshing to see how steady OP has been throughout this. good for her, good for baby, bully is indeed pathetic, and ex needs to come clean if he wants his conscience to stop tormenting him.
Glad there is an update but when the bully contacted her saying “your husband had an affair with me” she should’ve then messaged her husband and tell him “will ask your gf to stop contacting me, I don’t care if you’re seeing her as long as you keep it away from my baby”
I do worry that OP in story 1 may end up looking like a cheater, since she ended the marriage so abrupt and is now already dating again. She should send screenshots of the chat with the bully to her ex, just to show she actually knows.
@@dimsufferer9951 Yeah all these actions are non-confrontational at it's base. Which I hate to say, may be terrible for the kid's future if they are ever bullied. Let's look at the fact she was kind of setting up the possibility of the bully being a stepmom to HER KID by being super non-confrontational. ONLY the fact that she FINALLY told the husband, which how she paints it as really only because he got a message at their last meeting. She did it out of desperation rather than on purpose. I pray that the kid never gets bullied or gets into a tough situation that requires a confrontational parent. Maybe the future husband might take this role. We can honestly only hope.
@@keshaponso2034 She left a seemingly happy marriage while pregnant for seemingly *no* reason and almost immediately started dating a coworker. Who the fuck would assume she wasn't cheating?
The op looks like a cheater because she wont tell anyone why won't discuss it and isn't seeking support at all so people will think she left because she cheated otherwise why won't she talk about it I will say I haven't heard the final update yet and other comments said she told her family so the important people know if she did tell her family at least
I don't care what people say, I think OP in story 1 handled that beautifully. Like LG said she should have told her close friends and family in the beginning at least, but I fully support divorcing him without a real reason and leaving the bully without the satisfaction of a reaction she clearly wanted. People like that just want to know they hurt their target, they don't care about public shaming. OP exposing and shaming them would have given that woman at least some sense that her actions were worth it. She was playing the long game moving out there and trying to get into her circle to sleep with OP's husband, lying in wait for the day OP found out and savoring every moment of hearing how "vanilla" OP is from her husband's mouth. Being broken up with so abruptly and left with a meh reaction from OP has got to be killing her more than any other method could have. And the husband left wondering whether or not she knows is the icing on the cake. Glad OP told her friends and family in the end so they could support her through the divorce tho.
I would love to see the gears turning in his head as he figured out he was being used by the bully. I wonder if he’ll defend OP in the future, especially since I’m pretty sure he knows that she knows but he’s feeling too ashamed of himself for being tricked (not for cheating since if he could feel ashamed of it he wouldn’t have cheated) to be the one to bring it up
I understand why so many posters disagreed with the OP's plan of action. But, I also GET IT! Speaking from personal experience, sometimes the most effective move against a tormentor is simply to ignore them. Look how desperately Stalker needed a rise out of OP over bedding her STBX! In the end she got nada, no sweet taste of victory & no man! I am glad OP told her supporters. I'm also glad OP let STBX suffer in his ignorance/guilt. Imagine how foolish he felt when he realized Stalker had used him as a TOOL to destroy his marriage.
So before the update I thought op was dumb for keeping their secret but after the update I have to say she knew exactly what she was doing. She told her Ex “I know your cheating” without telling him “I know your cheating” and the what if that’s left in the air was 10x more effective on him than saying the reason for the divorce. Also that bully…what a pathetic person.
OP, did basically everything to give her bully the satisfaction. Her ex wants her back, that much is certain and with her psycho bully, thats just trouble, op has started a relationship (even if its slow) with someone else, while on a divorce. The moment ex husband finds out, hes gonna use that narrative to get more custody and possible go after HS bully again to teach op a lesson. Because he told op “i noticed you were distant these past few months” like???? Hopefully op took evidence of them cheating, otherwise it will be a he said she said, in favour of the husband because shes the one that filled the divorce while hes trying to get back together with her. Also he only broke up with the bully after op told him their history, their marriage was very well ending, he wanted her back and was still with the bully!!! The moment op moves on, he will take her back to hurt op (i mean he knows op knows about the affair) so like. I usually don’t advocate for a termination, but honestly op was better off terminating that pregnancy, this is just gonna be awful for both her and her kid.
Geez. I’m glad it magically worked out for OP somehow but good grief, I don’t think she could have made worse decisions regarding how to handle the situation if she *tried.*
The fact that OP's ex-husband *still* didn't admit to his affair shows how he is an untrustworthy coward who's betting on reconciliation. Honestly, if the lawyers know about the affair if could help OP to get more/all custody. STIs during pregnancy can cause birth defects or death; he put that baby in danger by cheating and has no business in her life.
When I first heard this I was honestly kind of upset she was going to just leave and not say anything to anyone in the off chance he spun the story to favor him. Now however? I love this for her. There’s honestly no way he believes she doesn’t know and now he has no way to apologize for it as it would only be for himself. 🤷🏼♀️
You know, it is KINDA weird how everyone is aying OP's plan was bad. Bullies/abusers Desire POWER over their victims. OP, by handling it how she did completely took away all the power the bully had in the situation. She denied her everything she wanted out of whatever this plan of hers was, and has left the ex husband so unsure of everything that if she does eventually want it to come out he cheated, he is likely to sing like a canary as he wants to know what he did wrong from him to leave her, and by denying she knows anything has left him open to being very capable of exposing himself as a cheater,.
Story 1.. OP’s bully intended to hurt her again by having an affair with OP’s husband..That was her whole point.. thankfully OP took the upper hand by not letting her see she had been hurt and letting the bully know she didn’t care..
Now that the bully has confessed maybe share those screenshots in a group chat with the whole friend group with a warning that she's been stalking and bullying you for decades and anyone still wanting to be her friend should remove themselves from your socials. Sit back with popcorn and a glass of non alcoholic wine and watch her life implode. Block her and anyone who remains friends with her afterwards. I doubt anyone would want to be friends with anyone that vindictive and nasty.
People like that get more joy and satisfaction from deceiving you and believing they're getting away with it than they would if they knew they 'hurt you.' Honestly, by taking control of the situation and making it clear you know and their secrets out of the bag, that's a loss for them. Bully loses her sick thrills, former husband loses the ability to have the best of both worlds. They then have to face the likelihood everyone they know will see them as pieces of shit. Quietly divorcing husband would be letting them win, for lack of better way to put it. confronting/outing them's not being a victim, that's taking no crap. When a situation makes you feel powerless and victimised, take power back for yourself. Don't just show these people the door, open it for them and kick them up the backside through it.
What a power move ! Instead of the “whys” and “how could you” pity party she acted first and left the idiot wondering and hopefully feeling like he’s not good enough for her. This is how every cheater should be treated.
I've heard this one before. Hopefully will continue to bet better. These types of betrayals always sting the most. When they are fooling around with your former abuser.
First story. I've seen so many similar stories more often related to family. But people if you are married to someone, having a kid with someone or just been in a long term relationship. You have a responsible to tell you SO why your not in contact with your family or this friend, or don't want to be friends with this person. You don't need to go into gory details. But your SO does deserve to know enough to understand why you don't want this person/people in your life. I'm not saying that op's ex wouldn't have still cheated but if she had told him that this "friend" was her highschool bully and was acting like it never happened. Their is a strong chance he wouldn't have cheated with the bully. Cause she wouldn't have been in their lives as much if at all. Please if you trust someone enough to let them be sexually intimate with you tell them about your buggy monsters in your past. PSA done
You need to get documentation of the affair & document her past bullying. You’ll need this to ensure that you come out on top-- he may have to pay more because he’s an adulterer & her past behavior of bullying you could make it so she won’t have contact with your child. A P.I. might be able to prove her being a bully to others. Don’t say anything until you have everything set in motion. I’d even get a po box to have your mail go to. Be sure you get your name off all credit cards. When you’re ready to leave ask your landlord if you can switch to another rental they own or if they’ll forgive the break lease penalty because you caught your husband committing adultery. Outing her as a woman who plays the harlot will cause her a lot of problems, especially in a small town.
In some states the AP can be sued for emotional damage of sleeping with a married person and destroying a marriage. Wish OP would have gotten all her evidence in order and sued for alimony and emotional damage.
Seriously. I can understand however, I was foolish enough to stay with someone for over seven years out ov love and the hope that she would change and stop her awful destructive behavior. We're still friends at least but I had to have therapy for years after that. But I do not allow cheaters to just walk away! I'm glad I am confrontational when I need to be.
Had to interact with my former school bullies at work. One girl was part of my team at work and i was the teamleader. The way she was so super nice to me was weird.
So disappointed in story 1’s OP for not divulging the cheating to her ex. Hopefully when her baby is born she’ll grow more spine so she can protect her child.
I don't know why everyone thinks OP's plan was so Bad. It's perfect for her situation. This guy is going to be in her life forever, and she is holding all the power. She has the ace up her sleeve to use at an opportune monent, which believe me, over a minmum of 18 years, she'll have plenty of opportunity to use. I wish I had the patience, grace and long-term thinking to be like OP. She took all the power away from her bully. Redit is so short sighted sometimes.
and that's probably eating op's ex up inside. Serves him right for starting an affair with her. He was enjoying the ego boost of having his cake and eating it, too...and it turns out his side piece wasn't what he thought she was.
@@gwdzee It's kinda funny, I'm sure his ego deflated and reached negative numbers once he learnt the reason his side beatch was going with him: not even him as a person, but it was because of his ex-wife
And because she's tried taking the high road her HS bully will be free to do it again to her. "Oh i am so sorry, i didn't know he was your BF. i would have NEVER slept with him."
I WOULD RAT THAT BULLY OUT IN THE 1ST STORY. THIS IS NOT ME BEING A VICTIM. THIS IS MY VILLAIN ARC. I WILL TELL MY PARENTS. SPREAD IT IN OUR LIL TOWN WITH ALL THE RECEIPTS. RUIN HER REPUTATION.
I think OP is going to be okay - She made decisions I might not have done if in the same situation but it sounds like she's got a good head on her shoulders. If she let on that she knew of his infidelity early, he could use the information to spin it around on her. Since she didn't, she got to keep control of the situation. Now even if the truth comes out, which it might given how internet works, it won't make a difference as the result is the same, she's independent, moving on to new relationships, and preparing to be a co-parent for the sake of her daughter. I'm glad she let her date in on the highschool bully, because a girl that cruel is not going to just disappear, and she let some family know about her ex's infidelity so she's got third party support in case of future trouble.
S1--I was shaking my head while listening to the first part of this story. She was letting her pride get the best of her. I imagine the bully was waiting a while to get as much hurtful evidence as possible to show OP. If she'd told him early, that would've put a blow in the bully's plans because they were caught out before the bully could get to "maximum gloat levels." But that incidental notification when they were talking gave her a helluva segue into discussing the bully without indicating she knew all about the affair. She told the truth to those who needed to know, so that was a good step. He can quietly freak out about how much she really knew or he thinks she knew. Paranoia-ville. After Update: wow--figured that would happen. Her pre-emptive, quiet move nuked the relationship. Yes, she was desperate to let her ex know who he was involved with (and that they were scum), but did it in such a nonchalant way. And the fact that the bully called her to be fake-sorry while OP had no emotional reaction? Chef's kiss. The bully wanted to gloat, but lost the chance and played "innocently caught up in events" instead, and got called out as pathetic. Because let's face it--someone who lives to tear someone else down probably has nothing good going on in their own lives. Hope that bully realizes she's been neutered and just slinks off somewhere else.
Before update, was facepalming at OP choosing not to tell others the reason why she was separating, NEVER DO THAT! Protecting lowlifes from the consequences of their actions just allows them to flip the script and make you out to be the bad one, they were dishonest enough to cheat, what's to stop them from being dishonest enough to make up a lie that you were at fault? Glad OP changed her mind and told her mom, but I think it was nice that she played coy with her soon to be ex and dropped the true nature of her bully on him, since it sounded like he was hoping for reconciliation, dropping the "yeah, that girl that you were banging was a monster to me growing up" shattered any illusion of that happening.
OP is right about the Bully, she just wants to feel superior to OP. She was probably hoping that their affair was leaked to destroy OP's self esteem, some classic psycho like so many. Hell, she probably even planned this from day one. She would have stay with husband just to be stepmom and make the kid like her more. Now that OP pretends to not giving a sh*t, she admits to her to make her feel bad. Since she seems to not giving a single sh*t again, she admits again and say that the affair started when she was with husband to destroy her self-esteem again Husband did realize he fcked his whole life in some scheme from a sociopath. Even he was manipulated, he was still cheating and self-aware so fck this guy too, no need for revenge since he is conscious he's a retard and a cheater anyway. Seeing his wife leaving so "easily" will do him more damage than any emotional sh*tshow like usual So... OP was right about her plan for this part. This is a "better" revenge to let bully think she does not care. Narcissists tend to like people suffer, any drama on her part would have make bully overjoyed. She's not attached to this city so she would not have care if she was exposed on SM as long as OP suffered. Even if people think OP cheated, it's a win for her since bully will think she invested her body and months of her life for nothing since OP did not care about the husband So, let's just hope she does not return with husband ever again and that there's no manipulation on the kid. The only sad part of this is that the husband will be in the kid's life. Would have been better to use infidelity to get him out of her life but may be too difficult on court. "Grey rock" method often will do far more damage on narcissists and cheaters than usual crying. Seeing people leaving you like you don't matter anyway sometimes is the right path.
I can’t Imagine keeping a baby with a man who was cheating the whole time he was planning a baby with me. Being tied for life to a man that manipulative is asking for a lifetime of trauma. OP seems delusional and naive if she thinks co-parenting with a man like that will go well. He’s going to use that baby to control her.
The mom jumping straight to did OP cheat doesn’t sit well with me.
yeah, that didn't sit right with me either, like wtf mom?
Yes, expectedly since OP started dating a colleague before the baby even arrived. 😳
@@MiZZVMN What? OP told her mom she was leaving her husband *before* dating someone else, so that has no impact on her mom demanding to know if she cheated. OP mentioned she and her siblings are children of divorce so I have to assume that Dad cheated and Mom thought her daughter obviously MUST have done the same.
@@dimsufferer9951 or maybe mom cheated and that’s why she asked? Probably will not know.
I don’t understand either how can someone think of dating so soon after something like this, and not just with this story, but many others on Reddit, but people are different so I assume this is normal for some people. 🤷🏻♀️
I take as OPs mom knows here better than we do and maybe she thinks it completely possible for her daughter to cheat OPs plan was stupid and may still have bit her in the ass with no other updates.
Once the bully realized that OP was going to drop her husband, he wasn't as exciting to her. Glad OP took back her life and dropped the dead weight.
The bully sure is obsessed with op.
On the bright side, op doesn’t need to look for a new place; she lives rent free in bully’s head!
I really don’t get the logic of not telling anyone why she is divorcing him because she doesn’t want the bully to know she hurt her. What does it matter in the long run? They can’t hurt her more than they have. She would rather look like the bad guy than confront these trash people.
Tbh I felt the same until the update with the text from the bully….it’s very very clear that the bully was looking for a reaction and would have been extremely pleased to have gotten one. I think in the future OP should divulge the truth publicly, but for now I think I understand her decision. It’s clear her NOT owning up to knowing or blasting the news took the wind out of the bully’s sails
@@fizzles5 It really doesn't matter, the fact is that her not telling the truth would be a massive problem for her during the divorce proceeding.
@@mage1439 Especially with a kid on the way. A judge could have decided that her leaving “for no reason” means she’s not fit to be primary caretaker to the kid.
@@dimsufferer9951 I doubt that. It may make her divorce harder, but I can guarantee she's most likely going to get custody. Family court tends to favor the mother, and plus the husband seems to be bending over backwards to try to please her, he's most likely not gonna fight her.
@@fizzles5 I originally thought that too, until the bully reached out to OP. And the husband will not forget OP anytime soon, she's in his head and it won't be easy for him to move on.
The way this OP is going about it is just asking for trouble. She only told a few people WHY she left him and now she's dating someone else while pregnant? She's going to end up looking like the cheater.
Plus Ms. Bully is definitely going to try to make a move on any new man she dates. I’m glad OP has decided to tell any man she dates to be wary of Ms. Bully.
Yea she a idiot 🤦🏾♀️
Ms. Bully certainly seems to have a hyper focused and creepy fixation on OP. Probably only peaked in school lol.
Unless the OP looking like a cheater would ruin her life/career in some way who cares? Now - hs bullies aren't often the best people but they rarely stalk you in to adulthood and screw your partner. That behavior is quite unhinged.
@@videofan1010 but it won't look good for the divorce
Man, OP's plan was SOO BAD that it hurt, but I guess she knows her ex and her bully better than us and that they weren't smart enough to take advantage of her, I hope she gets better at picking friends and resolving conflict tho.
she got lucky she clearly isnt smart she was easily manipulated by her own insecurities to hide their sins "dont want them know they hurt me" anyone who thinks this way is not very smart
@@demonic_myst4503 I thought that at first too, but upon that update with the former mistress trying so hard to get a reaction out of her, she did the right thing. It's actually kind if funny that the husband will forever be left in limbo of whether she knows or not. The ultimate karma knife that keeps twisting, especially bow that they have a child who may also learn the truth one day. This is killing him inside, I have no doubt.
@@gaaraxnaru plus the fact that op didn't react to the bully's "confession" drove the bully absolutely bonkers.
I know!! This was extremely frustrating...even the updates
@@lauralfreeberg2179 Or steeled her resolve to get a reaction next time.
Her plan was absolutely terrible, but I'm glad it worked anyway.
The bully sounds weirdly fixated on OP, though, especially with asking him about her, and then telling her about it. It's creepy af.
At least OP’s cheating ex dumped her immediately after he found out her true nature.
@@BersealiaDreamheart That part was rather a stone cold win for me.
That’s not uncommon. Maliciously insecure people often target the people they are jealous of. They want what they have, because they feel it will make them whole, when in reality, it just feeds their insecurity.
Women who knowingly target married men are often like that. Their true motive is to feel desirable, so they can tell themselves that they’re “better then the wife.”
I had a bully who was obsessed with me, she even followed me around the clothes store I worked at begging for attention and when I refused to serve her she got upset and called my supervisor to make me serve her....
I kind of wish OP had just put the last nail in the coffin by telling her ex something along the lines of "Oh I heard from *bully* that you cheated on me, it made me feel kind of releived that we both were on the same page. Now i dont feel as bad for leaving you" just to reassure him that this was just plainly OP's decision.
She went from bully to frenemy and planned on this right from the start of her moving there. I wouldn't even be shocked if she followed her there.
Yeah, bully sounds creepily obsessed. Like to a clinical degree....
@@MistressSuki92 obsession bullying (coin by me). A bully that is obsessed with hurting one particular target/victim, as if they NEED to ruin that person's life no matter how many years have passed and that victim has moved on. Obsessive bullies never change from their mental need to destroy an imaginary enemy in order to live their own life, and to some severe degree they get a sick pleasure out of it. You are right that this can stem from a mental illness. (Maybe a combination of narcissistic personality disorder, dissociative personality disorder and sociopathy. It can turn to psychosis if said bully starts to self destruct when the power they had over their victims is taken away.)
@@LunaP1 In other words, this type of bully is one sick monster.
I agree with you, bully singled out her husband
@@LunaP1 hey just informationally, “dissociative personality disorder” isn’t a thing. I think you’re referring to dissociative identity disorder, which was renamed from multiple personality disorder because it isn’t a personality disorder, and as such has no correlation to the type of bullying you’re describing. I have diagnosed DID and was bullied, just want to stop the spread of misinformation whenever I can :)
I’m really glad that OP’s bully will never be a stepmother to her baby, and I’m glad that OP gray-rocked both of them. But I think OP should be careful because I feel like her bully is an obsessive person and she’s fixated on OP. It feels weird that she somehow ended up not only moving to the same area OP was living in, but she got integrated into OP’s circle of friends. Not to mention sleeping with OP’s husband. I fully expect her surfacing again and making a move on her new boyfriend. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised that when OP gives birth she’ll pop up trying to be buddy-buddy with OP to try and gain access to OP’s child.
Sadly, this isn't the first time that I read that have similar situations like this one. You'll be shockrd how many stories that the victim's (mostly females) that have their bully(or tormentor)(mostly females as well) actually stalked their victim's life and get married to their brother(if they have one).
The bullies are always the most pathetic people on earth but can be the scariest when the bully will take things hard to see their victim's life more miserable and love to see when they took their life.
I heard in the news when the boys who's the bullies mock their victim's death after they bullied her so bad and then posted on their social media. Thankfully, they're dumb because everyone knows their names and looks. They did receive hate mails and threats. The police have no choice to protect the boys and the parents, well, they didn't punish them.
But for op, I would ask her mom or the lawyer about getting restraining order against her bully because she will follow op's life.
Yeah, OP doesn't understand the situation she is in. She thinks running away (regarding the bully) will solve everything. But unfortunately I bet bully is not done with OP yet.
@@silverstarmoon5802 There are so many awful stories of bullies marrying siblings of their victims. I read one story where OP’s daughter was brutally bullied in high school to the point where she was hospitalized after attempting suicide-and this same bully later married OP’s son! The victim’s brother! Like, I cannot conceive of someone being romantically involved with a person who drove their sibling into attempting suicide! Luckily in the case of that story, _nobody_ in the family wanted anything to do with OP’s son or his wife (OP included) but she posted in AITA about it because her son was trying to guilt her about the situation.
Hallmark style
@Mia-dt3gl I think I have read it but it's been long time because I read others stories
Story 1: Another terrible part of OP's situation, is that at NO point does the ex own up to his part in the consequences or acknowledge (let alone apologize) what he did to her. He doesn't seem to stand 10 toes on *anything,* not even in any of his relationships.
Another reason to leave other than he's a cheater: He's weak and lacks integrity.
@@JY-vh3be Exactly and honestly, I do like the part where she keeps him thinking about his actions because it really is his fault in the end.
@@JY-vh3be Likely why it was so easy for the bully! He was a WEAK man who thought he could have his cake and eat it! And now he knows with OP even having to let on she knows he cheated that "his Affair Partner was his wife's UNAPOLOGETIC HS BULLY!" Meaning it will ALWAYS be on his mind that she approached him NOT because she found him INTERESTING, or a CATCH! But because "he was the best means to hurt the Poster!" A womanchild that peaked in HS and never grew up and still haunting her victim after graduation because she can't move on with her life and is trying to drag OP down with her!
Eventually that woman isn't going to be able to sustain harassing OP as her Reputation drops and shit hits the fan for her! So it WILL stop whatever she walks away now or not (and even if she walks away "Satisfied she ruined OP marriage" it won't give her the Sustenance she desired since OP never gave the reaction she expected! This is why her kind are PATHETIC! They don't quit till their FORCED to quit!)
"I just don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt me" Girl she's gonna get that satisfaction the moment you leave without saying anything. She knows why she's doing this. YOU know why she's doing this. Keeping silent is just gonna tell her that she could straight up kill someone and you wouldn't do shit about it out of fear you'd "give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt you"
You know what _wouldn't_ give her satisfaction? Telling people that she's a (word I can't say) and c u next tuesday who just can't keep her shit together for the life of her so she ruins other people's lives to drag them down with her. Expose how pathetically desperate she is for validation and attention and that you're not just gonna roll over and take her bullshit.
I agree completely! They know they've hurt her. She could easily return the favor by exposing them in their community as adulterous scum. At least they lose a few friends that way and in a small town they can wind up losing their jobs. Even if there are few assets she could still use that in court to her advantage. When someone wounds you if you don't strike back decisively (but legally) they win. She handed them the game by leaving silently. If it's a small town they will assume she's the cheater. And she's also decided to remain tied to him for the rest of her life. smh
The bully will just keep trying to bother the OP even if she doesn't get a reaction here. Probably more now because she went through the trouble of having an affair with the OPs husband just to get to the OP.
Nah she won’t. Otherwise she would’ve not messaged OP to come clean. Bully didn’t know the OP knew. Bully probably thought OP lost interest?
“You know that I know, but I’m not telling you.”
Oof, the blow. OP hit him right in the paranoia. He’s going to have a fun several months. 🙂
We all doubted her, but OP really just mind-fucked the hell out of her ex. The whole I know and you know that I know and I know that you know that I know, but I'm not going to say one damn word.
BRILLIANTLY PLAYED
agree 100%. And she still has that ace up her sleeve when he acts like a dog.
That’s why I love about this story. I don’t get why everyone else want them exposed. Mind fuck is better
I think people who don't understand op's logic never got bullied. I'm glad she did tell her friends at the end.
@Lady B. I was bullied horribly and I still think her plan can backfire, I'd be straight up.
@@fatimakhatun5788 I admit that OP's plan went well when it could've backfired spectacularly on her, but cheaters deserve to be publicly exposed. I just wish her ex got the public comeuppance he deserves
Also op's bully is obsessed with her. She's a freaking psycho
OK, I feel way more relaxed about OPs plan after hearing she told her mum and friends about the real reason. Also that fact that she heard along the grapevine how bully reacted to ex breaking things off means that other people are now aware first hand that they were screwing around while OP and he were together. And, as I've said in another comment, the way she replied to bully confessing the affair in a VERY clear attempt to upset her was executed beautifuly!
It's so satisfying that OP's gut was right. She did not feed the ego of her bully. Hopefully the bully will be thoroughly deterred from interfering in OP's life further.
S1 - At first I was frustrated and wanted OP to GO OFF on her husband but in the end, I liked the way OP handled this; on HER terms! Neither the husband nor the evil affair partner got an emotional "payout" from OP😂 They were left dazed and confused! She's a true savage!😏
Yeahhh she could have done this with way more spine and achieved the same if not better results lol nothing savage about this but also this isn't for a woman of my caliber to understand lmaooooooo
Whenever I hear about bullies that are obsessed with their victims their entire lives, I think it’s because they’re very infatuated with them
It’s narcissism. Most stalkers are narcs. They are obsessed with control and power.
@@priscilalondonit’s kinda sad.
Instead of having their own lives they just follow their victims around
I've heard this before. damn this story is a mess.
that bully is a psycho and I hope OPs kid wont get hurt by her
I think OPs husband realised he got played and he don’t want her which is good so safe happy baby
Being a bully is bad enough, but being as petty and pathetic as this bully was is just sad. Like, grow tf up.
She probably peaked in HS and has not been able to mature and move on into adulthood.
Those people are always creepy and weird
God I thought that story where OP’s best friend was sleeping with her former abuser was sickening enough. This is even more sickening
Was that one recent? I can’t remember it
It might have been read here or another channel about a month or so ago. Yeah OP got confronted by new GF then OP told her what the boyfriend was really like. Best friend got mad at OP for saying so as if she hadn’t been there. Turns out best friend was sleeping with him and claims “he’s different”
I want to hear that one, wow
@@Wander85942 oh I remember that one, op and bff meat up, bff brings the bf to prove he's changed . Bff starts crying and bf was mad at OP about hurting his girl, OP proved he didnt changed bff didnt care
@@celty205 the best part of that story was the bf was the one that got knocked down, hurting his ego even more
Op weaponized her “ignorance” to the cheating and it’s going to bother the ex and the bully more then anything to not have her give a “proper reaction” the husband is going to sit in and be bothered by the idea of if she new before the divorce or not and the bully is going to be bothered by not having that “win” the bully probably craves the idea of knowing her direct actions ruined ops life and she’s not getting that.
Op's ex already knew he f up. Don't know why he even tried to rekindle the relationship when he already did wrong. Like was op's ex thinking he have can both?
S1: OPs revenge is a slow burn. Her EX will forever be in limbo, thinking what went wrong. It like "Whats in the box?" scenario. I like it. She did not give her bully the satisfaction and her husband, the closure.
Ex has to be really idiot (well doh he is cheater) if he doesn't figure out he got dumped for being a cheater.
Do people who cheat ever give much thought to anyone else’s thoughts or feelings? He won’t spend much time wondering.
For those saying she handled this confrontation and divorce the wrong way; read Sun Tzu's "The Art of War." She handed the two cheaters their asses, psychologically speaking.
He wants to blame shift or blame share, then ask for forgiveness. If he wanted to take full responsibility and make an amends he would confess and ask for marriage counseling. He didn't.
The bully wants to revel in being the cause of OPS misery, once again.
Neither one got what they wanted and were left hanging wondering what she actually knew.
Bravo, OP 👏
Story 1: At first I felt OP should rage at her STBX about what she found out. However in retrospect, pointing out who the Harlot was to her in the past and not giving him a chance to make excuses or apologize ang leaving him second guessing for the rest of his life is nuclear powered and very deserving revenge. I wonder if one day she will tell her daughter what really happened . . .
If she doesn't her ex will and he will insert his hurt and wounded narrative in there and come between mother and daughter.
I was super disappointed in what she was doing til I learned she at least told the folks close to her about what was really going on and why she wanted to divorce. Glad she found folks who don't have loose lips to confide in. So those who need to know do and the perps are hanging in the wind.
OP is my hero. I love how she handled it because it is exactly what I hope I would do if I was in her shoes (except for keeping the baby). Don't give the cheating spouse a chance to defend themselves and feed you more lies or anything. Let him feel as lost as you were when you found out. Also, the bully definitely got caught unaware when she didn't blindside her as she had hoped to. Take the power back.
'I asked her why she would admit to something so pathetic' oh you better SNATCH her wig! LOL
She is very intuitive about her soon to be ex and her former bully and as the story went on I definitely get her playing oblivious instead of blowing it up because it's both come out in its own way and put guilt even more squarely on her STBX. He can't admit his remorse without admitting his wrong and she can eventually still inform him she knows anyway.
Some bullies convince themselves that their victim is horrible, to justify their bullying
As a victim if bullying, bullies know what hurts you, they know and they think ignoring them and avoiding retaliation is a sign of them being more powerful than you. This is why fighting back usually stops bullies
It's just a shame that they teach us in school to never fight back against your bullies, and to go get a "trusted adult" instead. The problem is, the schools usually do next to nothing, because they would rather avoid that angry phone call from the bully's parents. It's only when the victim's parents threaten to press charges (as my parents did in regard to one of my many bullies) that the school finally takes action, if only to save their own hide rather than because it's the right thing to do.
Unfortunately, fighting back always ends up getting both the bully and the victim in trouble (the infamous zero-tolerance policy), even when the bully was the obvious instigator, especially if it was caught on camera. I think back to the case involving an Australian kid by the name of Casey Heynes, known online as the "Zangief Kid," due to the way he power slammed his bully to the ground being similar to a move used by Zangief from Street Fighter. Even though it was an obvious act of self-defense, he also got punished by school officials. But he was ultimately vindicated online, in the media, and by the general public.
I hope that something is spread around the friend group mentioned in story 1 about the bully and her history. Nip any other harm she would try with anyone else in the bud.
I also wonder regarding OP's family history and how that caused her to take the route she took. She told her mother she wanted a divorce and the mother's first response was whether OP cheated. Then later it came out that OP's parents were divorced. Did her parents help her at all when she was a child and being bullied? What is this fixation the bully had with her? Did she follow her to the bigger city, and when OP didn't acknowledge her, that's when the bully decided to go after her husband, or was that part of the bully's plan?
I do think OP handled the bully connacting her afterwards perfectly. Don't show a response. Grey rock. The bully got her second hand trash anyway.
Nah, OP might be onto something.
This probably isn’t why OP did it, but the husband is now left trying to figure out what OP knows.
I agree. Initially I was against her not confronting them... mostly cuz I thought she wasn't gonna tell anyone. But she told ppl close to her and left them both in confusion
Story 1) Honestly op did the best move . Not telling her close family circle. So they wouldn’t push for reconciliation and make it more harder on her. But she should put the bully’s name on not to go with custody pick up and drop off. Even if she isn’t with her ex. You never know what she is capable of.
My theory is that Bully KNEW somehow that OP got married and wanted to try her hand at Homewrecking "fOr OlD tImEs sAkE".
Story 1: ex is going to be in for quite a surprise when the daughter gets older and wants to know why mom and dad aren’t together, he tries some sob story about she just left one day, and then mom tells her the real story.
"I dont want a lawyer bc we don't have assets" your pregnant and refuse to consider termination (which is fine) its going to get messy
Oh man, I remember this story and am sooooo excited for a final update :D
Thanks LG!
This is my favourite cheating story, as tragic as it is. She handles everything so perfectly. Her HS bully doesn’t get any satisfaction because of her perfect response, only rejection and non importance. The husband clearly still Loves her because of avoiding talking about her with his AF, and so hearing how his affair partner was his wife’s bully, he probably realises how he was used by AF like a chump, and knowing that his wife knows. Man, he must feel so tormented and guilty. And I love that. He deserves it. He gets punished in a way that most of the other cheating bastards don’t because they’re all delusional, but he’s not. It’s tragic. I wonder when he’ll start admitting to himself what he did to her, what he lost. And I hope, for OP’s sake, he keeps what little dignity he has left in how he treats her. Wish I knew what would happen in the future.
Oooooo imagine announcing to him that you're pregnant with the ultrasounds, at all excited and etc with him, and then the next day, he serves him with divorce papers along with the news that you terminated the pregnancy. But I'm just nuclear revenge 💁🏻♀️
Glad OP told her mum and friends.
Not confronting him, she messed with him.
Bully is a loser
It could be a way to protect herself. So she doesn't have to confront the fact that he cheated on her with him.
OP also didn't give the bully the reaction she wanted.
We need to be kinder to OP in this.
She didn’t want any more pain, attention, or drama. And her bully WANTED OP’s reaction.
OP knew that the best way to win this game was to not play at all. She removed herself from the board without a word, her ex is desperate from not truly knowing the truth, and her bully alone and looking like the fool she is, unfulfilled.
Oh man, I’ve been waiting for this final update.
Story 1. Just because people are your family does not mean they will have your back. Op's mom's first question was if her daughter was cheating. Seems like there are some issues there
Bully got with OP's husband just to spite OP. And Bully won't get the reaction she wants. So watch Bully dump ex as soon as possible.
EDIT: LOL Bully didn't get the reaction she wanted and Ex dumped her first☠️
Bagging a cheater is not a flex.
I actually really vibe with OP’s quiet transition. Her ex KNOWS that she knows. He KNOWS that’s why she’s leaving. He KNOWS that’s why he’s missing out on her birth and cold turkey not being allowed to be close to OP. And yet with all that continues to lie to OP in her face. Every day that passes by without a SINGLE apology and bringing up “working it out” is a complete lie. Spineless, pathetic, and selfish even throughout the most precious moments of a child he claims he wants to be a part of. Liars are the worst because you never know them and can’t rely on them. Even OP admits that she HOPES he won’t make the bully the step mother to their kid because he can’t even be trusted to be honest. This guy is so selfish he refuses to believe that OP has too much self respect to still want to be with him. I hope she hides her new relationship for after the divorce is finalized. She owes him zero honesty. She owes him zero knowledge on what her next move is or what her life is like. What people say about her is worthless. People can label her a cheater and it wouldn’t hurt her one bit. Eventually, the truth will come out and everyone will sympathize with her. She only values the judgment of her mother and close friends. She’s happy and supported. I call that winning. The comment section disagreeing would never understand that type of happiness. That type of control. That type of freedom.
Contrary to reddit on this one, I LOVE this plan. She is denying him of any closure, forever. No explanations, no chance to fight and argue and say "see I had to cheat because look how much you nag me", nothing. It's beautiful, psychological torture.
I wouldn't have enough determination to carry it all out, but kudos!
That's what I'm saying she even left the bully speechless asking why she is going out her way to tell on her pathetic self about what she did.
@@mastercontrO Absolutely. She's getting out with all her dignity and leaving them both without any emotional payout.
Husband def knows why OP left. And he's very regretful. Unfortunately he ruined his marriage over AP games and obsession. And he gets to be reminded of what he lost everytime he sees OP and his daughter. What a tool.
Story 1: Of course, the relationship fell apart with the bully. The bully only wanted to hurt the OP, this was one way to respond to it. The one thing I want to know is why did the ex-husband go through with the affair and why he still denies it.
Op was right about the bully. When she corrected her saying no im sure we were seeing each other while you were married. Thats the only reason she contacted you because she didnt get a reaction the way she wanted
I'm really freaking proud of the OP in this story. Bullies and abusers get off on the emotional response they get from hurting you. If you deprive them of that, they don't get their fix. She made the right choice. I wouldn't have kept the baby though, and I hope that OP's ex doesn't use their daughter to try and manipulate his way back into her life. Hopefully she keeps things extremely separate, and has a nanny or her mother hand off her daughter for visitation. Hopefully things work out with her new partner as well. OP deserves so much better than the way she's been treated.
Op is so classy, I love her. She didn't give them the satisfaction of knowing that they hurt her. That is the right way.
Yes, op is one classy lady and left the ex in suspense and the bully without the satisfaction and control over op that she craved for
Okay, my nickname for OP is Navier now, and her ex-husband Sovieshu, both from The Remarried Empress webnovel and Webtoon (which I discovered about a week ago and immediately fell in love with, due to it being thematically similar to Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon, two shows that I love for the palace intrigue).
Both stories largely play out the same: husband cheats on his wife, they get divorced, but the ex-wife stays strong and goes on to live her best life with a new romantic partner who picks up the pieces of her broken heart while the ex-husband and his mistress find their lives falling apart. The ex-husband is left to drown in his guilt, pining for his ex-wife, who no longer loves him.
They say the best revenge is to live your best life, and let karma sort out the rest; no need to give your tormenters the satisfaction of knowing how much they hurt you or trying to hurt them back in a messy divorce. And that's what happened in both stories. It's actually quite satisfying in both cases.
People trying to keep under just infuriate me. Cheaters thrives in secrecy, by trying to keep it secret, you only play their hand. It's so dumb I can't even sympathize.
She didn't keep it secret. She told her mother and friends. And people were aware her husband cheated because OP's best friend told her that her ex and the bully broke up.
This is the most boss thing I've ever heard in my entire natural life.
I picture her narrating this story from an outdoor table at a Paris cafe with sunshades and a scarf wrapped around her head. She has destroyed them, she moves on to her ordinary life leaving destruction in her wake. In a new city... with a new job, her friends will never know and always see her as a shy bakery owner.
As the credits roll the camera pans upwards and finally into the clouds
it's refreshing to see how steady OP has been throughout this. good for her, good for baby, bully is indeed pathetic, and ex needs to come clean if he wants his conscience to stop tormenting him.
Glad there is an update but when the bully contacted her saying “your husband had an affair with me” she should’ve then messaged her husband and tell him “will ask your gf to stop contacting me, I don’t care if you’re seeing her as long as you keep it away from my baby”
OP'S husband realized that the side chick came with him to destroy OP'S marriage.
I do worry that OP in story 1 may end up looking like a cheater, since she ended the marriage so abrupt and is now already dating again. She should send screenshots of the chat with the bully to her ex, just to show she actually knows.
And she’s going for primary custody of the kid… this is not going to look good on her
@@dimsufferer9951 Yeah all these actions are non-confrontational at it's base. Which I hate to say, may be terrible for the kid's future if they are ever bullied.
Let's look at the fact she was kind of setting up the possibility of the bully being a stepmom to HER KID by being super non-confrontational. ONLY the fact that she FINALLY told the husband, which how she paints it as really only because he got a message at their last meeting. She did it out of desperation rather than on purpose.
I pray that the kid never gets bullied or gets into a tough situation that requires a confrontational parent. Maybe the future husband might take this role. We can honestly only hope.
How does SHE look like a cheater? WTF
@@keshaponso2034 She left a seemingly happy marriage while pregnant for seemingly *no* reason and almost immediately started dating a coworker. Who the fuck would assume she wasn't cheating?
The op looks like a cheater because she wont tell anyone why won't discuss it and isn't seeking support at all so people will think she left because she cheated otherwise why won't she talk about it
I will say I haven't heard the final update yet and other comments said she told her family so the important people know if she did tell her family at least
Lawyers aren't cheap for a reason, but are definitely necessary.
I was against the silence, but I think OP handled it well. Good for OP
I don't care what people say, I think OP in story 1 handled that beautifully. Like LG said she should have told her close friends and family in the beginning at least, but I fully support divorcing him without a real reason and leaving the bully without the satisfaction of a reaction she clearly wanted. People like that just want to know they hurt their target, they don't care about public shaming. OP exposing and shaming them would have given that woman at least some sense that her actions were worth it. She was playing the long game moving out there and trying to get into her circle to sleep with OP's husband, lying in wait for the day OP found out and savoring every moment of hearing how "vanilla" OP is from her husband's mouth. Being broken up with so abruptly and left with a meh reaction from OP has got to be killing her more than any other method could have. And the husband left wondering whether or not she knows is the icing on the cake. Glad OP told her friends and family in the end so they could support her through the divorce tho.
I would love to see the gears turning in his head as he figured out he was being used by the bully. I wonder if he’ll defend OP in the future, especially since I’m pretty sure he knows that she knows but he’s feeling too ashamed of himself for being tricked (not for cheating since if he could feel ashamed of it he wouldn’t have cheated) to be the one to bring it up
I understand why so many posters disagreed with the OP's plan of action. But, I also GET IT! Speaking from personal experience, sometimes the most effective move against a tormentor is simply to ignore them. Look how desperately Stalker needed a rise out of OP over bedding her STBX! In the end she got nada, no sweet taste of victory & no man! I am glad OP told her supporters. I'm also glad OP let STBX suffer in his ignorance/guilt. Imagine how foolish he felt when he realized Stalker had used him as a TOOL to destroy his marriage.
So before the update I thought op was dumb for keeping their secret but after the update I have to say she knew exactly what she was doing.
She told her Ex “I know your cheating” without telling him “I know your cheating” and the what if that’s left in the air was 10x more effective on him than saying the reason for the divorce.
Also that bully…what a pathetic person.
OP, did basically everything to give her bully the satisfaction. Her ex wants her back, that much is certain and with her psycho bully, thats just trouble, op has started a relationship (even if its slow) with someone else, while on a divorce. The moment ex husband finds out, hes gonna use that narrative to get more custody and possible go after HS bully again to teach op a lesson. Because he told op “i noticed you were distant these past few months” like????
Hopefully op took evidence of them cheating, otherwise it will be a he said she said, in favour of the husband because shes the one that filled the divorce while hes trying to get back together with her.
Also he only broke up with the bully after op told him their history, their marriage was very well ending, he wanted her back and was still with the bully!!!
The moment op moves on, he will take her back to hurt op (i mean he knows op knows about the affair) so like.
I usually don’t advocate for a termination, but honestly op was better off terminating that pregnancy, this is just gonna be awful for both her and her kid.
Wow! OP has a titanium spine, good for you. We’re all with you on this OP !!!
Depending on where OP lives, she needs to disclose the cheating. Alimony law takes this into account in some places
Geez. I’m glad it magically worked out for OP somehow but good grief, I don’t think she could have made worse decisions regarding how to handle the situation if she *tried.*
The fact that OP's ex-husband *still* didn't admit to his affair shows how he is an untrustworthy coward who's betting on reconciliation. Honestly, if the lawyers know about the affair if could help OP to get more/all custody. STIs during pregnancy can cause birth defects or death; he put that baby in danger by cheating and has no business in her life.
When I first heard this I was honestly kind of upset she was going to just leave and not say anything to anyone in the off chance he spun the story to favor him. Now however? I love this for her. There’s honestly no way he believes she doesn’t know and now he has no way to apologize for it as it would only be for himself. 🤷🏼♀️
OP handled that with elegance and grace.
OP needs therapy..
I still dont understand why she's protecting them
Get divorced but don't take the blame. Make sure you screenshot messages between them the make it public.
You know, it is KINDA weird how everyone is aying OP's plan was bad. Bullies/abusers Desire POWER over their victims. OP, by handling it how she did completely took away all the power the bully had in the situation. She denied her everything she wanted out of whatever this plan of hers was, and has left the ex husband so unsure of everything that if she does eventually want it to come out he cheated, he is likely to sing like a canary as he wants to know what he did wrong from him to leave her, and by denying she knows anything has left him open to being very capable of exposing himself as a cheater,.
Story 1.. OP’s bully intended to hurt her again by having an affair with OP’s husband..That was her whole point.. thankfully OP took the upper hand by not letting her see she had been hurt and letting the bully know she didn’t care..
Now that the bully has confessed maybe share those screenshots in a group chat with the whole friend group with a warning that she's been stalking and bullying you for decades and anyone still wanting to be her friend should remove themselves from your socials. Sit back with popcorn and a glass of non alcoholic wine and watch her life implode. Block her and anyone who remains friends with her afterwards. I doubt anyone would want to be friends with anyone that vindictive and nasty.
People like that get more joy and satisfaction from deceiving you and believing they're getting away with it than they would if they knew they 'hurt you.' Honestly, by taking control of the situation and making it clear you know and their secrets out of the bag, that's a loss for them. Bully loses her sick thrills, former husband loses the ability to have the best of both worlds. They then have to face the likelihood everyone they know will see them as pieces of shit. Quietly divorcing husband would be letting them win, for lack of better way to put it.
confronting/outing them's not being a victim, that's taking no crap. When a situation makes you feel powerless and victimised, take power back for yourself. Don't just show these people the door, open it for them and kick them up the backside through it.
I feel sorry for the baby. Going to be born into that drama hellhole
What a power move ! Instead of the “whys” and “how could you” pity party she acted first and left the idiot wondering and hopefully feeling like he’s not good enough for her. This is how every cheater should be treated.
I've heard this one before. Hopefully will continue to bet better. These types of betrayals always sting the most. When they are fooling around with your former abuser.
First story. I've seen so many similar stories more often related to family.
But people if you are married to someone, having a kid with someone or just been in a long term relationship. You have a responsible to tell you SO why your not in contact with your family or this friend, or don't want to be friends with this person. You don't need to go into gory details. But your SO does deserve to know enough to understand why you don't want this person/people in your life.
I'm not saying that op's ex wouldn't have still cheated but if she had told him that this "friend" was her highschool bully and was acting like it never happened. Their is a strong chance he wouldn't have cheated with the bully. Cause she wouldn't have been in their lives as much if at all.
Please if you trust someone enough to let them be sexually intimate with you tell them about your buggy monsters in your past.
PSA done
You need to get documentation of the affair & document her past bullying. You’ll need this to ensure that you come out on top-- he may have to pay more because he’s an adulterer & her past behavior of bullying you could make it so she won’t have contact with your child. A P.I. might be able to prove her being a bully to others.
Don’t say anything until you have everything set in motion.
I’d even get a po box to have your mail go to.
Be sure you get your name off all credit cards. When you’re ready to leave ask your landlord if you can switch to another rental they own or if they’ll forgive the break lease penalty because you caught your husband committing adultery.
Outing her as a woman who plays the harlot will cause her a lot of problems, especially in a small town.
I remember this story. I was hoping for more updates. I hope OP is doing well.
In some states the AP can be sued for emotional damage of sleeping with a married person and destroying a marriage. Wish OP would have gotten all her evidence in order and sued for alimony and emotional damage.
She let a cheater off scot free. He must really have wrecked her confidence for her to do that.
Seriously.
I can understand however, I was foolish enough to stay with someone for over seven years out ov love and the hope that she would change and stop her awful destructive behavior.
We're still friends at least but I had to have therapy for years after that.
But I do not allow cheaters to just walk away! I'm glad I am confrontational when I need to be.
Had to interact with my former school bullies at work. One girl was part of my team at work and i was the teamleader. The way she was so super nice to me was weird.
Oh, how OP handle the bully "confessing" 👌😂 beautiful!
So disappointed in story 1’s OP for not divulging the cheating to her ex. Hopefully when her baby is born she’ll grow more spine so she can protect her child.
I don't know why everyone thinks OP's plan was so Bad. It's perfect for her situation.
This guy is going to be in her life forever, and she is holding all the power. She has the ace up her sleeve to use at an opportune monent, which believe me, over a minmum of 18 years, she'll have plenty of opportunity to use.
I wish I had the patience, grace and long-term thinking to be like OP.
She took all the power away from her bully. Redit is so short sighted sometimes.
I get the feeling the bully only went after op’s husband because he was op’s husband and still wanted to hurt op after all this time
and that's probably eating op's ex up inside. Serves him right for starting an affair with her. He was enjoying the ego boost of having his cake and eating it, too...and it turns out his side piece wasn't what he thought she was.
@@gwdzee It's kinda funny, I'm sure his ego deflated and reached negative numbers once he learnt the reason his side beatch was going with him: not even him as a person, but it was because of his ex-wife
Bagging a cheater isn't a flex. Tell the family. Don't do it alone.
And because she's tried taking the high road her HS bully will be free to do it again to her. "Oh i am so sorry, i didn't know he was your BF. i would have NEVER slept with him."
At least OP told the people that matter in the end
I WOULD RAT THAT BULLY OUT IN THE 1ST STORY. THIS IS NOT ME BEING A VICTIM. THIS IS MY VILLAIN ARC. I WILL TELL MY PARENTS. SPREAD IT IN OUR LIL TOWN WITH ALL THE RECEIPTS. RUIN HER REPUTATION.
I think OP is going to be okay - She made decisions I might not have done if in the same situation but it sounds like she's got a good head on her shoulders. If she let on that she knew of his infidelity early, he could use the information to spin it around on her. Since she didn't, she got to keep control of the situation. Now even if the truth comes out, which it might given how internet works, it won't make a difference as the result is the same, she's independent, moving on to new relationships, and preparing to be a co-parent for the sake of her daughter. I'm glad she let her date in on the highschool bully, because a girl that cruel is not going to just disappear, and she let some family know about her ex's infidelity so she's got third party support in case of future trouble.
keeping secrets is a toxic pattern of hers. for example why did she not tell her husband that this woman was her bully.
S1--I was shaking my head while listening to the first part of this story. She was letting her pride get the best of her. I imagine the bully was waiting a while to get as much hurtful evidence as possible to show OP. If she'd told him early, that would've put a blow in the bully's plans because they were caught out before the bully could get to "maximum gloat levels."
But that incidental notification when they were talking gave her a helluva segue into discussing the bully without indicating she knew all about the affair. She told the truth to those who needed to know, so that was a good step. He can quietly freak out about how much she really knew or he thinks she knew. Paranoia-ville.
After Update: wow--figured that would happen. Her pre-emptive, quiet move nuked the relationship. Yes, she was desperate to let her ex know who he was involved with (and that they were scum), but did it in such a nonchalant way. And the fact that the bully called her to be fake-sorry while OP had no emotional reaction? Chef's kiss. The bully wanted to gloat, but lost the chance and played "innocently caught up in events" instead, and got called out as pathetic. Because let's face it--someone who lives to tear someone else down probably has nothing good going on in their own lives. Hope that bully realizes she's been neutered and just slinks off somewhere else.
Before update, was facepalming at OP choosing not to tell others the reason why she was separating, NEVER DO THAT! Protecting lowlifes from the consequences of their actions just allows them to flip the script and make you out to be the bad one, they were dishonest enough to cheat, what's to stop them from being dishonest enough to make up a lie that you were at fault? Glad OP changed her mind and told her mom, but I think it was nice that she played coy with her soon to be ex and dropped the true nature of her bully on him, since it sounded like he was hoping for reconciliation, dropping the "yeah, that girl that you were banging was a monster to me growing up" shattered any illusion of that happening.
OP is right about the Bully, she just wants to feel superior to OP. She was probably hoping that their affair was leaked to destroy OP's self esteem, some classic psycho like so many. Hell, she probably even planned this from day one. She would have stay with husband just to be stepmom and make the kid like her more.
Now that OP pretends to not giving a sh*t, she admits to her to make her feel bad. Since she seems to not giving a single sh*t again, she admits again and say that the affair started when she was with husband to destroy her self-esteem again
Husband did realize he fcked his whole life in some scheme from a sociopath. Even he was manipulated, he was still cheating and self-aware so fck this guy too, no need for revenge since he is conscious he's a retard and a cheater anyway. Seeing his wife leaving so "easily" will do him more damage than any emotional sh*tshow like usual
So... OP was right about her plan for this part. This is a "better" revenge to let bully think she does not care. Narcissists tend to like people suffer, any drama on her part would have make bully overjoyed. She's not attached to this city so she would not have care if she was exposed on SM as long as OP suffered.
Even if people think OP cheated, it's a win for her since bully will think she invested her body and months of her life for nothing since OP did not care about the husband
So, let's just hope she does not return with husband ever again and that there's no manipulation on the kid. The only sad part of this is that the husband will be in the kid's life. Would have been better to use infidelity to get him out of her life but may be too difficult on court.
"Grey rock" method often will do far more damage on narcissists and cheaters than usual crying. Seeing people leaving you like you don't matter anyway sometimes is the right path.
I can’t Imagine keeping a baby with a man who was cheating the whole time he was planning a baby with me. Being tied for life to a man that manipulative is asking for a lifetime of trauma. OP seems delusional and naive if she thinks co-parenting with a man like that will go well. He’s going to use that baby to control her.
Do everything to protect the custody of your child.