People like Carrie are unstable, will always be unstable. It is who and what they are. No amount of therapy can fix that. Sooner or later she was going to explode, self destruct in the process and possibly take others with her. She is an emotional suicide bomber, not using real explosives just words and deeds, ready to go off, just needing that lit fuse. It is almost as messy as the other kind to what it does to those around her. The worst part is that over time, after the destruction of the previous group of people around her, she will move on to another group and repeat that process.
Exceeeept he didn't. Carrie is a narcissistic psychopath, they are EXTREMELY good at getting people to go along with them, and like OP said, husband was frequently annoyed with her and displayed signs of being narcissistically abused and trying to "lessen the blow ups". Carrie doing that blow up thing, to get the friends group to toe the line, yeah that's classic narcissism and their response is very consistent with being abused/manipulated like that for years. So maybe consider the broader psychological aspects here.
@@impishrebel5969 On top it was clear she was like this before the trauma bonding ... so she use the bonding as a weapon to manipulate all of them ... but now since everyone drop her off and told her to f* off, she broke down knowing nobody will be manipulate by her.
@Destiny Alvarez I think Impish Rebel was trying to say that the husband didn't/couldn't grasp the scope of disrespect towards OP. He wasn't malicious, but ignorant. The resulting consequences of a person's actions should always be weighed against their intentions before one casts judgment. Obviously, it doesn't absolve them of any wrong doing, but it should soften your perspective.
@@424strawberry No what I'm saying is that he's been CONDITIONED aka BRAINWASHED to accept it, he's a victim of a narcissist. Narcissists are EXTREMELY good at getting people to do things they don't want to do. When you get out of the situation you look back and realize just how screwed up it all was and how wrong the narc was but somehow they managed to convince YOU it was your fault or to do what they wanted regardless. What I mean by "lessen the blow ups" is that he was conditioned to actively prevent and head off Carrie's drama outburst. Carrie DELIBERATELY conditioned everyone using the past trauma to accept her BS. This is what narcs *do*. She gaslights people into the point THEY believe they're the problem. She causes drama and deliberately sets people against each other with lies and manipulation so that they stay unaware of what she's really doing. The drama and making everyone miserable is how she gets them to roll over, THEN she starts on the gasliting. Destiny needs to pull up some videos done by the psychologists about narcissists on youtube and maybe they will get it. I made a top comment on here explaining in more detail. If you can't recognize that there's psychology at play here, Destiny & co, that YOU don't understand because YOU haven't experienced it, and yes it's very difficult to understand unless you have encountered a narc in the wild, then I ask that you refrain from commenting any more victim-blaming because it's giving a lot of fellow abuse victims on here a hard time. Victim-blaming was LITERALLY PART OF THE ABUSE.
I would add that OP and hubby should notify the police. She is definitely unhinged, and she's attempting BLACKMAIL!! That is a crime, folks! Notify the police, show them the texts and photos, and have a report on file. They might send someone out to talk to her and that might cool her jets, you never know. But if someone is that crazy, you don't know what else they might do. This woman is crazy AND vicious. This all took place over just a few days? What might the next few weeks bring? Call the police, and do it NOW.
Like the threats to post the underage photos as well as the harassing texts and vague threats should all be taken to the police. They also should blast her for being unhinged and let everyone else get their sides of the story. I doubt that people would sympathize with her as much when she makes remarks about someones dead friend or threatens to post potential CP of her ex friends for revenge. If OP or anyone else has the photos she threatened to post then I would say that she already was distributing and in possession of those photos if she was sending them around to show what she has on them.
Absolutely! People like her do this because they think they can. They have to pay for their consequences and learn to act like an adult mentally. You have to go after people like her, or they NEVER learn!
"... if this is enough to ruin their friendship, it was not one worth having" I love this OP, she may need to learn to act faster when it comes to passive-agressive actions, but her heart is in the best place. Also, loved how she starting calling all this craziness simply "the saga" and her thoughts about the moral of the story being there even when she didn't know what was the moral 😂😂😂😂
Whole group of friends were just sad enablers trying to hold on a group they were once as kids... My husband has group of friends since teens. When hit legal age, getting shirfaced was fun for everyone Then people grew up and had a drunk but no being shirfaced anymore.. except one. It got so bad, him being so drunk and being ah thinking he was "funny drunk" they stopped inviting him. And then he admitted he had a problem. He is better now. And back to being invite
I had a "friend" that tried to get with my husband behind my back, but jokes on her.. we laughed with my husband,at her, and in her face.. pathetic.. some people don't have any morals..
It really sucks that nobody thought to go to OP when Carrie told them that she thought it was painful to be around her first instead of just taking Carrie’s word for it for all this time, but I guess if that was the way things always was for them they never thought anything was weird
I'm guessing Carrie blamed it on OP's diagnosis and how she would be embarrassed etc if someone asked her about it and thus implied that she might struggle with issues. If Carrie had some brains and knew the friend group well enough she could twist the situation to be able to exclude OP.
This is how narcissistic psychopaths operate. The friends are told juuust enough lies and story, and "oh and don't bring it up to X because it's suuuch a sore spot for them you'll upset them" to get them to not follow up or ask. It's incredibly typical pattern behavior for the mental condition. This only lasts until the house of cards falls though and everyone gets to see them in their true colors, which is why the threats and meltdowns; because she no longer has her puppets on the string. Once they get found out they have to move on to people who don't know them.
The trauma bonding allowed Carrie to do all of this too. She just had to bring that up all the time as an excuse to manipulate all of them. GOOD op could see the flaws on her logic and Carrie try to singled her out because OP has seen through the ruse of her entire borderline narcissistic behaviour.
I can't believe Carrie told them not to talk to the husband about it, who was their friend, and they just never talked to their own friend about it. OTOH, he went along with it so his own behavior reaffirms it
my first thought was "he's already been sleeping with her 🙄" A man who loves his spouse and his marriage would never put up with anyone attempting to sabotage or isolate him away from his spouse. So he's cheating or he's a coward. I was pretty pessimistic before the updates. Color me surprised. Kind of. Op's husband, and company, needs to rethink his definition of best friend after all this drama. If he wants a best friend it should be a dog first before moving on to a person. Carrie is the whole bag of trail mix. I'm glad they got rid of the witch.
First story: I would have said that my hubby and I are a package deal. Either we both go, or Hubby doesn't go at all. Obviously I'd talk with hubby as well. Glad the "friend" got booted. She was toxic AS HECK
Your imaginary hubby is not a child. "Either we both go or hubby doesn't go at all." Lololol who do you think you are? Who are you to tell ANYBODY that they can't go somewhere?
THEY drunkenly fooled around or she got HIM drunk and fooled around? Because if this story is real, then it sounds like something someone like her would do.
honestly the second he read that I thought the same thing. even if it happened multiple times, she probably blackmailed him as well. from the story it's clear she's such a good manipulator, she can easily force him to do stuff without him realizing he doesn't have to do it
@@lisalu5768 That was my first thought too. He could have been so drunk that he couldn’t consent, or was drunk enough to be coerced. Knowing how many male victims of SA like this don’t realize it because they were “willing” or because “women can’t be perpetrators”. Not saying this is what happened, but it crossed my mind. Especially with all the other stuff this woman was doing. The worst type of Pick-Me girl.
Having a traumatic past isn’t an excuse to extort and manipulate people like this. Plenty of people have traumatic pasts and they don’t turn out like this.
The second it got to her not liking OP before and after the marriage, I knew that Nice Girl™️ was mad at OP for "getting the man she wanted, but didn't make the effort beyond wanting his attention".
Well Carrie certainly knows how to make an exit. OP mentioned thinking about a restraining order AND SHE REALLY SHOULD CONSIDER IT…and Sara DEFINITELY should as she started the crazy dominos
Carrie hasn't exited yet. OP and the group have only seen the opening. Carrie is a special kind of manipulative craziness. Now that the spell is broken,everyone has turned their back on Carrie. Exposing secrets and lashing out to the point of mentioning a late friend is just initial reaction from her. The storm before the calm. It's kinda like being hit by a tornado. The tornado hits you,then everything is calm,peaceful. Your in the eye of the tornado. Then next thing you know, you're hit again just as hard,a lot of times harder. Once the tornado is done,you're lucky to be alive. Right now the group is going into the eye. Carrie will hit again. It'll be a whole lot worse on the back end of this tornado.
I’m honestly fully convinced that the reason why Carrie hated OP so much was because she’s jealous and angry that the man she loved was with someone else. She was definitely trying to drive a wedge between op and her husband, sabotaging the relationship, and hoping op divorced her husband. This would then leave OP’s husband single and give Carrie the perfect opportunity to snatch him up
I would have to wonder if he had a male friend who made it totally clear that he wanted to sleep with you how close of friends would your husband be with that friend?
Nah, nothing really happy about it. The hubby is a spineless and weak creature. It might come back to bite them or their children. OP could have done better. Well, maybe he is rich or something.
"The first day I met her she referred to me as "temporary"" Oh she's one of THOSE "best friends" Either she likes him or is just possessive in general 🚶🏻 Edit: Called it. Felt it in my bones. Edit 2: "We can all take accountability" Op has done nothing but exist
I agree 💯, the second I heard those words I knew she was in love with him and expected op to be gone not married to him. Gotta love how Carrie nuked her own life by showing her not only her manipulative self and jealousy but how psycho she really is. No surprise that when realized she was caught on the phone she tried to play victim and hung up.
A tyrant would rather burn down his kingdom rather then give up his crown. Carrie worked hard to build this friend group to what it is. She found a bunch of people pleasers, slowly molded them to be more complacent to her antics, found dirt on some to control them, and even created some ( I think she got the guy drunk and fooled around with him ). She wasn’t going to give up all that control easily, she’s going to use everything she can to either get back her power or make all of you crash and burn with her.
Yep! I can see OP totally being the person to blame the affair partner and not their partner for cheating “all her fault without her he would have never cheated” type of person. The fact of the matter is that they were in this situation not because of the other women but because her husband let it happen. He was aware of his friends dislike of OP and still went to events without his wife. OP is clueless
Also getting to the end where her husband is still having trouble blocking her because he’s concerned for her… what about your wife!! She has lied about your wife socially isolated her/excluded her and threatened your marriage and he is still more concerned about blocking his friend? Yeah this whole thing smells fishy
@@calebhoffman6368I get husband and the whole friend group are a bunch of doormat minion types that feel they "have to" cater to Carrie, but holee shit, dude couldn't even muster a press on the block button? Dude needs therapy for himself.
@Trash Can yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Some people are able to set clear boundaries, but others are loyal to their own detriment, add trauma bonding and ain't nothing gonna separate the two
The friendship is ruined the moment that a spouse is disrespected. You don't have to be best friends with your friend's spouse, but they are a package deal. Respect and invite them both, or neither. The friendship isn't worth saving.
Excluded birthday invite: NTA! I do think OP's husband shouldn't go to the party, but think it would be okay to send a gift with a card that would say: "My wife and I are a package deal, you get both or none. Happy Birthday." UPDATE: Just, WOW! This was much crazier than I thought it would be. I'm glad the truth is out and OP and her husband are okay. What an insane manipulator though, sheesh! OP, just in case I hope you and your husband have a good security system with cameras and audio.
NTA! GF has a thing for OP’s BF. BF knows it and he’s OK with it. If he goes 0P knows. Where she stands with this tool. Oh Yeah, 99 44/100% of people who were cheated on would have said their SO “would never cheat.” Edit: It’s easy for him to say he would pick OP over GF because he hasn’t had too. But look at how he is behaving when she asked him to skip the party. He wants to take her on a date!
Title Story - Wait, so OP’s husband “is a wonderful person who has always said he’d pick me over her” … but this was said in an update AFTER she told us “he suggested going for drinks, just the two of them” instead of the party … Methinks Hubby enjoys all the attention he’s getting and OP is too dense to see it 😒😒😒 Thanks for the new story LG and go hug your furbabies all 💙🐱💙
@@LocksAndChains I did read it, and OP’s husband is either _that_ stupid he doesn’t think going for drinks with his single female coworker is totally fine or he totally does know and likes the attention from her … people who defend potential cheaters all give me a funny. Thank you!
It’s called narcissistic rage. All psychopaths are narcissists. Her calculated manipulation is definitely psychopathic and her rage is text book. Fascinating.
I don't think most people expect THAT level of unhinged when thinking of 'that one friend,' but that was a ride... I also feel bad for that one friend that she 'exposed.' If she had pictures, something tells me that he was considerably more drunk and she took advantage of it. Hopefully that couple, and really everyone, gets through and past this. They were manipulated for so long...
OP's husband doesn't do anything because he can ignore it until OP gets mad. It's comfortable that way. I agree that an open invitation would result me going with my husband, assuming I wanted to. (I'm not extremely social, so like as not, I would rather just watch a movie.)
In all honesty I don't understand why the original poster is married to somebody that doesn't defend her against their best friend to begin with because in all honesty the friend is clearly excluding the original poster from being able to go anywhere that the husband is invited because not only is it clear that she's jealous of the original poster but she has feelings for the husband and is trying to find every way possible to make sure she can eventually get him alone and have her way with him and probably destroy their marriage and maybe has a delusional mindset of she manages to accomplish that that she can have him all to herself and in all honesty I feel that of the husband and the update doesn't do anything to stop this Behavior it shows that not only is he aware of what the friend is trying to do but he's going along with it which could indicate there was so much more going on between them even before the original poster in the husband got married
Agree... No "super hot, super smart man" his age would be this naive and pushover. Ok for the few first year when friendship is more important than a 3-month girlfriend, but your wife? You let her disrespect your wife and then reward the asshole friend with single outings to the bar together? Hell no. I believe there's something more that happened between them either before or after he got together with OP. I feel like OP sees her husband as out of her league and is willing to do, believe and let it pass so much shit just to keep being with him
You know what it makes a lot of sense that something might have happened between the husband in the best friend god with the original poster it makes a lot of sense why the friend is so jealous and hateful towards her to begin with Plus on top of that I wanted percent agree that the only reason that the original poster you know isn't going all crazy on her husband is like you said because she feels that he's so out of her League that she just would rather keep things the way they are and just go with what he saying so far for the sake of him not leaving her or her having to break up their marriage
You're right that does make a lot of sense but at the same time I feel like when you have these weird friendships where somebody is that jealous of you trying to be with somebody else why don't you just tell the person that you have feelings for them of your so scared of losing them to somebody else I've always felt like that's what's so weird about these stories and it's been very rare for the original poster and the person they're neither married to or just boyfriend and girlfriend with just end up you know divorcing or breaking up understandably cuz they don't want to live a life with somebody who's going to put this person over them and possibly the future children they end up having with them
What really floors me is that Carrie had compromising photos of them as drunk teens?! And she's a whole ass adult who still has those photos....anytime she threatens to post those, OP and the husband and friends need to bring up the fact that that'll slap Carrie on a sex offender list
I had a similar "friend" she was a classmate and would hang out with me and my best friend who was also a classmate at school. Later as adults she reconnected with us and would ask us to go to the beach Me and bf each had 1 kid so we would sometimes not have the money or time to spontaneously hang out. That "friend" would always complain that we couldn't just hang out at a moments notice. Bf and I were talking about it one time and we both realized we were only friends with her because we both thought the other was her friend and so we were just putting up with her for the others sake lol. It was such a relief that we were in the same page and we just stopped hanging out with her.
I'm just glad I'm not in that friend group. Good lord. Also the husband didn't block her right away? All you'd have to do is notify the police and then block her. Notify her family as well.
Not even 2 minutes in, and OPs husband is disrespectful. He has to pick his friend or his wife, and the fact it's come down to this tells me where their marriage is at.
I keep in mind that Carrie is an adult. No matter how unhinged, she had the moral compass, and yet threw it and her friends into the trash instead of loving and respecting them. Trauma is terrible, I have a feeling "Misery loves company" has been keeping Carrie the way she is.
"Take accountability"? What is wrong with her husband? She has a HUSBAND problem because he doesn't have her back! Also, I agree with that commenter who thinks her husband enjoys this. He seems like he wants two women fighting over him -- even if the "friend" is the only one doing the fighting!
He sounds like a parent with a golden child who thinks the other children should apologise too because the golden child has done something they need to be sorry for.
Control. That's all this crazy, narcissistic person wanted. She wanted control over everything and anything in her life, including the people around her. She underestimated people around her thinking that she can get away with everything just by saying a few words and everybody would be under her command. Once everybody figured out her whole facade just came crashing down.
So she was manipulative, blackmailed, and ruined marriages because she wanted to be included in a group of friends. This is crazy to the extreme I feel sorry for everyone that knew her she is not going away easily 😕
I do think the husband should’ve set boundaries, but also people need to acknowledge it’s hard to cut all ties off with a friend you’ve known since childhood lol the fear of losing someone close to you can be very consuming, so I understand. But he definitely should have stated that they’re a package deal, and not to treat his wife terribly.
I'm sorry, "could be my breakfast cereal came with extra iron and I feel bold" is one of the funniest things I've heard today. I'm planning on using that
Stories like this are mind boggling to me. How do so many people allow their friends to openly disrespect, exclude and sometimes bully their spouse and do nothing about it? And some of them make it _even worse_ when they have the gall to get mad at their spouse when their spouse wants them to do the bare minimum and stick up for them and not just sit there and do nothing as their friend openly treats them like shit.
They should all get a restraining order against her. With all the stuff posted in the group chat they should have enough material to get one. 14:38 Am I the only one shocked that at this point he hadn't blocked her yet ? After everything that happened ? He probably didn't do anything with her (she would have already spilled the beans with great pleasure seeing how she's going wild) but I really don't trust OP's husband.
Op is pretty naive, despite her assurances to the contrary. She keeps saying her husband would never cheat, when everyone knows that anyone is capable of cheating at some point in time. Then she goes on about how good looking her husband is, and even later states that Carrie is NOT good looking (I forget if she called her ugly). Well, I have been around a lot longer than most people on reddit, and one thing I have learned about that is that looks, good or bad, have absolutely NOTHING to do with whether a partner will cheat. Op is not only naive, but a bit arrogant. Good luck to her.
OP's husband's friend group sound like a bunch of high school kids. How did no one ask OP's husband about the whole "can't be in the same room" thing. I'm very suspicious of that. Are they afraid of this Carrie person? Also, OP's husband sucks for going without her. I would never do that to my partner.
1st story: Sounds to my old is making excuses. And whatever is going on between her husband and the best friend because the fact that she is so blind to the fact of how good her husband is she deserves all the pain.
Carrie lost comtrol because she... lost control. For years, she'd been the Queen of that group, but now that she's been exposed and booted from the group, she's unable to cope with that reality. Guess she was never would that tight to begin with.
It's crazy how much one person can affect an entire group and make them miserable. Also, OP sounds really naive. Her husband would never cheat because Carrie is his good friend, he finds her annoying and she's ugly? Someone should tell her about all the people that cheated on their partners with best friends and people that they assured their SO was a complete dog that they wouldn't touch with a 30 foot pole.
This story reminds me of the time a friend of mine (A) got into a huge fight with a friend of his (B). When A said he was breaking off their friendship, B went ballistic and tried to cause drama with all of A's relationships. B was one of those "guys and girls can't be friends" kind of people, so B decided to find out my partner's email address and tell him that me and A's relationship was "too close" for friends and that he "might want to look into the REAL reason A wants to visit you guys." My partner immediately laughed in his face (well, as much as you can via email) because he/everybody already knew exactly what kind of a-hole B was. We both posted the message on our socials (locked to our/A's mutuals) with a warning that B would probably start s-t with them, too. Once B realized what was going on, he went full ghost and nobody's heard from him since. Good riddance. That said? If I were OP, I would have NEVER stayed with this guy in the first place. Anyone who lets their so-called "best friend" and/or friend group treat you like garbage is not a person you want to be with, even if they are being manipulated.
Unpopular opinion: I don't care if people think it's stupid, you trust your partner not to cheat. If you don't why the hell are you with that person? I've known people who monitored their spouse 24/7 and still got cheated on. I've personally had a chill approach to relationships: I'm not going to babysit you to make sure you stay faithful. If you cheat, I'm dumping you. And you'll have to live with that. It's so mentally freeing. And if they do cheat, IT IS NOT BECAUSE YOU TRUSTED THEM! It's because they're garbage and betrayed your trust. And you're still the victim of their betrayal.
In all honesty I'm happy for the original poster and I'm also happy that both the husband in the friends are free of carries bullcrap because in all honesty she is the literal definition of a textbook narcissist and about the ones that are willing to go so far to blow up their lives but I feel that the husband and the friends should actually get her to take legal action against Kerry because technically what she's doing is leaking private information that should only be permitted by those people and not just her because she's pissed off that everybody realizes she's a bad person so if I were them that's what I would do is get a lawyer involved and take this bitch to court and see where things go from there but rather than that I'm glad that finally that the original poster feels happy that she feels as if she finally belongs in the place of feeling like she's friends with her husband's friends even though I felt that the husband should have gone no contact with this person a long time ago I feel like that would have soften the Fallout a little bit more and this would have gone to a lot of the people in that friends group to see how very toxic Carrie was to begin with
Imagine having an amzing group of friends since childhood.. Instead of loving n chersihing them this girl ended up manipulating n gaslighting them. Cause great amount emotional issues...what fool..
Poor OP is experiencing what's called an 'Extinction burst' from Carrie. If she and the others can just keep her at arm's length, she will hopefully wind down soon.
If my female best friend treated my wife like that she wouldn't be my best friend anymore she wouldn't even be an associate of me anymore after the first time she did it you have a husband problem I think he's having a fling with her behind your back because otherwise why would he support her over you this is divorce time lady I'm serious I don't usually call for divorce on here but if my wife did that to me I'd be divorcing her immediately you're a doormat right now you're letting this person walk all over you I wouldn't put up with that for one second
It's unnerving that people like this can tell exactly the right story in just the right way so that one person is victimised and blamed and everyone goes along with it. I'm so glad this all came out in the open and resolved -very satisfying.
It's great and and all that Carrie is out of the group, but this still doesn't excuse her husband's reaction to OP at the beginning asking him NOT to go to Carrie's party. This man was _near tears_ wanting to take Carrie out to dinner and "talk things over". 🙄 I strongly suspect that there was definitely something going on between he and Carrie. OP is extremely naive to assume that Carrie acted alone.
Once heard one of these anime stories- husband had a female friend he hung out with ALOT. The wife said “ I don’t like you hanging out so much and leaving me home alone with our new born”. He said “ but we are just friends and I’m not cheating”. Finally the wife said “ do what you want BUT just so you know…. When the love dies then I will divorce you..” PROTECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR DONT CRY WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS GONE
Its pretty childish and petty when OP's husbands best friend is being openly disrespectful to a spouse. The husband needs to put his foot down and bring OP when its an open invitation.
"She is not very cute and he is definitely not attracted to her," yup my ex fiancé said the same thing about my "friend" who was constantly flirting with him, and yet, he ended up cheating on me with her, leaving me for her, and marrying her... Its ok she flipped his life upside down and destroyed him compleatly and utterly.
I'm just going to post this here for all the people calling OP and Husband and friends "doormats:" *Carrie is a narcissistic psychopath.* Her behavior, lies, manipulations, deliberate comments designed to prevent them from talking to each other, subsequent behavior when she gets found out, the melt down, blackmail, threats, and destroying of lives, is very typical of it. OP also mentions trauma bonding, which is probably when she got her hooks into them at the start. They are not "doormats" because narcissists are EXTREMELY good at conditioning people to meet their manipulation and when OP was describing how any drama happens causes Carrie to flip out until everyone's miserable is your key to realizing this; that's what causes narcissistic abuse victims to actively try to "lessen" these incidents or modify their behavior to prevent them, and they're often tricked into believing its their fault in the first place. They modify THEIR behavior because the abuser won't and they *know* how they are and "they're just like that." SO, with that in mind, lay off OP and Husband. OP even mentions the friends are "people pleasers." That's the psychological damage she's done to them. I've been through it. I'm currently helping a friend through it. You likely don't know what it's like so please stop calling them doormats. If anything, they are incredibly strong seeing her BS and breaking off from it. There are people who know their abuser is a narcissist and has for years but you don't understand how hard it can be to get other people to see the truth about their abuser, or how hard it is to escape because *these people often isolate someone from their friends and family as Carrie did with her BS about OP and Husband having too much of a 'sore spot'* or make YOU out to be the liar, or YOU the one with the problem, or ruin YOUR reputation until that day where they finally make the mistake and they get exposed, as Carrie did. Edit: what she did at the end there was what we call "extinction burst." The last desperate attempt of a narc to regain control.
Thank you. Was getting tired of seeing all the comments blaming op for trusting her husband, calling her a "pickme", blaming her husband for not wanting to nuke his entire friend circle, etc. So many dirty accusations on the people who were being abused. Some even finished the video and still didn't realize how wrong they were.
@@skyetan86 There's still people trying to argue with me who seriously don't get it. Blaming the victims is so triggering, not gonna lie. It's like they have no mental capacity to go on a google search to look this stuff up, I can only conclude they seriously have no idea being blamed as the victim was part of the abuse. It's always everyone else's fault but the narc's.
So many people on Reddit are quick to judge. It isn't easy to understand from a single posting what people actually live through. Three paragraphs describing a situation an OP is posting about does not convey how it developed over time and hindsight is always 20-20. When you're living in the middle of it, it isn't so clear. So yes, let's stop calling people names like "doormat" and judging them for not being omniscient. The very fact they're posting about it in a public forum and asking for advice from strangers shows that they've come to recognize that something is wrong. Have a little grace and compassion, people.
@@eywine.7762 To be "fair" to those who yell "doormat" they actually haven't personally experienced what a true manipulator is capable of, either. People throw the word narcissist or sociopath around, but really, to get the best idea (very ironically, given recent events) of a true sociopath - is to watch "The Usual Suspects" with Kevin Spacey. (or Silence of the Lambs) - and even professionals constantly forget that these types of people always escalate. They start small and innocuous. They can end up infamous. Can't recall the comedian, but he said "Have you ever noticed that neighbours can't believe next door guy is a serial killer? "We've been to his BBQ's, he seemed so nice". From the outside, they appear like wonderful community members, or at least quiet and private. If you can live next door for 20 years and not realize he has 10 women in his basement...there's no way those kind of deceived folk could comprehend how thoroughly sociopaths hide their true nature...
![[UA] NAVI vs MOUZ | BO5 | IEM Rio 2024](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/CMBYk0cbGoA/mqdefault.jpg)
Damn! Carrie didn’t burn bridges-she NAPALMED her relationships with everyone in her life!
Nuked.... she nuked them
Well regardless of the metaphor she ruined her friendships with all her friends.
Napalm? Nah she hit those bridges with an ICBM
This, in the parlance of r/raisedbynarcissists and r/JustNoMiL, is called an "Extinction Burst".
People like Carrie are unstable, will always be unstable. It is who and what they are. No amount of therapy can fix that. Sooner or later she was going to explode, self destruct in the process and possibly take others with her. She is an emotional suicide bomber, not using real explosives just words and deeds, ready to go off, just needing that lit fuse. It is almost as messy as the other kind to what it does to those around her. The worst part is that over time, after the destruction of the previous group of people around her, she will move on to another group and repeat that process.
"It would ruin our friendship" bro what about your marriage?
I feel like not inviting my friend’s wife to my party would ruin the friendship.
It doesn't matter if you trust your partner, if they allow this level of disrespect to you and your relationship it IS a problem
Exceeeept he didn't. Carrie is a narcissistic psychopath, they are EXTREMELY good at getting people to go along with them, and like OP said, husband was frequently annoyed with her and displayed signs of being narcissistically abused and trying to "lessen the blow ups". Carrie doing that blow up thing, to get the friends group to toe the line, yeah that's classic narcissism and their response is very consistent with being abused/manipulated like that for years. So maybe consider the broader psychological aspects here.
@@impishrebel5969 On top it was clear she was like this before the trauma bonding ... so she use the bonding as a weapon to manipulate all of them ... but now since everyone drop her off and told her to f* off, she broke down knowing nobody will be manipulate by her.
@Destiny Alvarez you’re right. He DID let this happen for far too long. 😞
@Destiny Alvarez I think Impish Rebel was trying to say that the husband didn't/couldn't grasp the scope of disrespect towards OP. He wasn't malicious, but ignorant. The resulting consequences of a person's actions should always be weighed against their intentions before one casts judgment. Obviously, it doesn't absolve them of any wrong doing, but it should soften your perspective.
@@424strawberry No what I'm saying is that he's been CONDITIONED aka BRAINWASHED to accept it, he's a victim of a narcissist. Narcissists are EXTREMELY good at getting people to do things they don't want to do. When you get out of the situation you look back and realize just how screwed up it all was and how wrong the narc was but somehow they managed to convince YOU it was your fault or to do what they wanted regardless. What I mean by "lessen the blow ups" is that he was conditioned to actively prevent and head off Carrie's drama outburst. Carrie DELIBERATELY conditioned everyone using the past trauma to accept her BS. This is what narcs *do*. She gaslights people into the point THEY believe they're the problem. She causes drama and deliberately sets people against each other with lies and manipulation so that they stay unaware of what she's really doing. The drama and making everyone miserable is how she gets them to roll over, THEN she starts on the gasliting. Destiny needs to pull up some videos done by the psychologists about narcissists on youtube and maybe they will get it.
I made a top comment on here explaining in more detail. If you can't recognize that there's psychology at play here, Destiny & co, that YOU don't understand because YOU haven't experienced it, and yes it's very difficult to understand unless you have encountered a narc in the wild, then I ask that you refrain from commenting any more victim-blaming because it's giving a lot of fellow abuse victims on here a hard time. Victim-blaming was LITERALLY PART OF THE ABUSE.
OP was like an exorcist 😂😂 kicked out the witch and cursed items were purged
Demon be GONE!
"The power of Christ compels you" 👿
Forgive them father for they hath sinned! 😇📜
OP douse thee Carrie with the Holy Ghost🔥🔥🔥🔥 GET OUT DEMON
Cue "The Exorcist" by Possessed.
I would add that OP and hubby should notify the police. She is definitely unhinged, and she's attempting BLACKMAIL!! That is a crime, folks! Notify the police, show them the texts and photos, and have a report on file. They might send someone out to talk to her and that might cool her jets, you never know. But if someone is that crazy, you don't know what else they might do. This woman is crazy AND vicious. This all took place over just a few days? What might the next few weeks bring? Call the police, and do it NOW.
Like the threats to post the underage photos as well as the harassing texts and vague threats should all be taken to the police. They also should blast her for being unhinged and let everyone else get their sides of the story. I doubt that people would sympathize with her as much when she makes remarks about someones dead friend or threatens to post potential CP of her ex friends for revenge. If OP or anyone else has the photos she threatened to post then I would say that she already was distributing and in possession of those photos if she was sending them around to show what she has on them.
Absolutely! People like her do this because they think they can. They have to pay for their consequences and learn to act like an adult mentally. You have to go after people like her, or they NEVER learn!
You would think a lawyer would already know blackmailing is a crime. 🤔
"... if this is enough to ruin their friendship, it was not one worth having" I love this OP, she may need to learn to act faster when it comes to passive-agressive actions, but her heart is in the best place.
Also, loved how she starting calling all this craziness simply "the saga" and her thoughts about the moral of the story being there even when she didn't know what was the moral 😂😂😂😂
S1 the husband is an a-hole for not stopping the nonsense a long time ago.
Update shows why that is the case. This women is insane.
He was narcissistically abused and manipulated. Did you miss that part?
@@impishrebel5969 where?
Whole group of friends were just sad enablers trying to hold on a group they were once as kids...
My husband has group of friends since teens. When hit legal age, getting shirfaced was fun for everyone
Then people grew up and had a drunk but no being shirfaced anymore.. except one. It got so bad, him being so drunk and being ah thinking he was "funny drunk" they stopped inviting him.
And then he admitted he had a problem. He is better now. And back to being invite
I see it in the same light. once you marry your wife is the center of your life.
"My breakfast cereal came with extra iron this morning and I feel bold."
LOVE IT!
I had a "friend" that tried to get with my husband behind my back, but jokes on her.. we laughed with my husband,at her, and in her face.. pathetic.. some people don't have any morals..
Awesome!
Glad to hear about people that actually care about each other.
Can’t steal someone who doesn’t want to be stolen
Please tell how she reacted!
i wanna know too XD
It really sucks that nobody thought to go to OP when Carrie told them that she thought it was painful to be around her first instead of just taking Carrie’s word for it for all this time, but I guess if that was the way things always was for them they never thought anything was weird
I'm guessing Carrie blamed it on OP's diagnosis and how she would be embarrassed etc if someone asked her about it and thus implied that she might struggle with issues. If Carrie had some brains and knew the friend group well enough she could twist the situation to be able to exclude OP.
lady had the entire friend group eating out of her hands
This is how narcissistic psychopaths operate. The friends are told juuust enough lies and story, and "oh and don't bring it up to X because it's suuuch a sore spot for them you'll upset them" to get them to not follow up or ask. It's incredibly typical pattern behavior for the mental condition. This only lasts until the house of cards falls though and everyone gets to see them in their true colors, which is why the threats and meltdowns; because she no longer has her puppets on the string. Once they get found out they have to move on to people who don't know them.
The trauma bonding allowed Carrie to do all of this too. She just had to bring that up all the time as an excuse to manipulate all of them. GOOD op could see the flaws on her logic and Carrie try to singled her out because OP has seen through the ruse of her entire borderline narcissistic behaviour.
I can't believe Carrie told them not to talk to the husband about it, who was their friend, and they just never talked to their own friend about it. OTOH, he went along with it so his own behavior reaffirms it
my first thought was "he's already been sleeping with her 🙄" A man who loves his spouse and his marriage would never put up with anyone attempting to sabotage or isolate him away from his spouse. So he's cheating or he's a coward. I was pretty pessimistic before the updates. Color me surprised. Kind of. Op's husband, and company, needs to rethink his definition of best friend after all this drama. If he wants a best friend it should be a dog first before moving on to a person. Carrie is the whole bag of trail mix. I'm glad they got rid of the witch.
First story: I would have said that my hubby and I are a package deal. Either we both go, or Hubby doesn't go at all. Obviously I'd talk with hubby as well. Glad the "friend" got booted. She was toxic AS HECK
Your imaginary hubby is not a child. "Either we both go or hubby doesn't go at all." Lololol who do you think you are? Who are you to tell ANYBODY that they can't go somewhere?
THEY drunkenly fooled around or she got HIM drunk and fooled around? Because if this story is real, then it sounds like something someone like her would do.
it's been long enough that even if she did noone will believe him
Problem is that it happened twice a month for several months, that’s not a one-sided thing anymore
honestly the second he read that I thought the same thing. even if it happened multiple times, she probably blackmailed him as well. from the story it's clear she's such a good manipulator, she can easily force him to do stuff without him realizing he doesn't have to do it
Probably the second, given she's a narcissistic psychopath, and gaslit and manipulated him into thinking it's his fault.
@@lisalu5768 That was my first thought too. He could have been so drunk that he couldn’t consent, or was drunk enough to be coerced. Knowing how many male victims of SA like this don’t realize it because they were “willing” or because “women can’t be perpetrators”. Not saying this is what happened, but it crossed my mind. Especially with all the other stuff this woman was doing. The worst type of Pick-Me girl.
The story ended on a much better note than I anticipated...
Given how unhinged she got in the updates, OP certainly picked the right name for 'Carrie' in hindsight lol
Having a traumatic past isn’t an excuse to extort and manipulate people like this. Plenty of people have traumatic pasts and they don’t turn out like this.
The second it got to her not liking OP before and after the marriage, I knew that Nice Girl™️ was mad at OP for "getting the man she wanted, but didn't make the effort beyond wanting his attention".
Well Carrie certainly knows how to make an exit. OP mentioned thinking about a restraining order AND SHE REALLY SHOULD CONSIDER IT…and Sara DEFINITELY should as she started the crazy dominos
Carrie hasn't exited yet. OP and the group have only seen the opening. Carrie is a special kind of manipulative craziness. Now that the spell is broken,everyone has turned their back on Carrie. Exposing secrets and lashing out to the point of mentioning a late friend is just initial reaction from her. The storm before the calm. It's kinda like being hit by a tornado. The tornado hits you,then everything is calm,peaceful. Your in the eye of the tornado. Then next thing you know, you're hit again just as hard,a lot of times harder. Once the tornado is done,you're lucky to be alive. Right now the group is going into the eye. Carrie will hit again. It'll be a whole lot worse on the back end of this tornado.
I’m honestly fully convinced that the reason why Carrie hated OP so much was because she’s jealous and angry that the man she loved was with someone else. She was definitely trying to drive a wedge between op and her husband, sabotaging the relationship, and hoping op divorced her husband. This would then leave OP’s husband single and give Carrie the perfect opportunity to snatch him up
I would have to wonder if he had a male friend who made it totally clear that he wanted to sleep with you how close of friends would your husband be with that friend?
Yuuup!
Definitely a happy ending! This is one Carrie who deserves to have a bucket of blood dropped on her head. But that's a different story, lol.
Nah, nothing really happy about it. The hubby is a spineless and weak creature. It might come back to bite them or their children. OP could have done better. Well, maybe he is rich or something.
"The first day I met her she referred to me as "temporary"" Oh she's one of THOSE "best friends"
Either she likes him or is just possessive in general 🚶🏻
Edit: Called it. Felt it in my bones.
Edit 2: "We can all take accountability" Op has done nothing but exist
I agree 💯, the second I heard those words I knew she was in love with him and expected op to be gone not married to him. Gotta love how Carrie nuked her own life by showing her not only her manipulative self and jealousy but how psycho she really is. No surprise that when realized she was caught on the phone she tried to play victim and hung up.
If anyone refers to me as such…I’d say out loud for them to explain to everyone what that comment means.
I was getting "she's delusional and thinks she is friendzoning him but wants him to stay single" energy from her tbh.
She should've filed for divorce the moment those words left his lips.
I'm with ya on this.
A tyrant would rather burn down his kingdom rather then give up his crown.
Carrie worked hard to build this friend group to what it is.
She found a bunch of people pleasers, slowly molded them to be more complacent to her antics, found dirt on some to control them, and even created some ( I think she got the guy drunk and fooled around with him ).
She wasn’t going to give up all that control easily, she’s going to use everything she can to either get back her power or make all of you crash and burn with her.
Molded them since childhood… since a trauma they experienced together.
A narcissistic Sociopaths dream … nightmare for everyone else
This women is a perfect example why it's OK to to be harsh to them without any kiddy gloves.
She is essentially a witch.
Yeah, that's a lot of hate she's got going there.
OP is weird at how defensive she is about the feedback regarding her passive husband and his inaction toward Carrie's antics.
Yep! I can see OP totally being the person to blame the affair partner and not their partner for cheating “all her fault without her he would have never cheated” type of person. The fact of the matter is that they were in this situation not because of the other women but because her husband let it happen. He was aware of his friends dislike of OP and still went to events without his wife. OP is clueless
Also getting to the end where her husband is still having trouble blocking her because he’s concerned for her… what about your wife!! She has lied about your wife socially isolated her/excluded her and threatened your marriage and he is still more concerned about blocking his friend? Yeah this whole thing smells fishy
@@calebhoffman6368I get husband and the whole friend group are a bunch of doormat minion types that feel they "have to" cater to Carrie, but holee shit, dude couldn't even muster a press on the block button? Dude needs therapy for himself.
@@calebhoffman6368 I think that part might be due to the trauma bonding tbh
@Trash Can yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Some people are able to set clear boundaries, but others are loyal to their own detriment, add trauma bonding and ain't nothing gonna separate the two
The friendship is ruined the moment that a spouse is disrespected. You don't have to be best friends with your friend's spouse, but they are a package deal. Respect and invite them both, or neither. The friendship isn't worth saving.
Carrie drove the crazy train right off the rails. Impressively self destructive
No. My husband would never allow this disrespect. He would have called her out a long time ago
Excluded birthday invite: NTA! I do think OP's husband shouldn't go to the party, but think it would be okay to send a gift with a card that would say: "My wife and I are a package deal, you get both or none. Happy Birthday."
UPDATE: Just, WOW! This was much crazier than I thought it would be. I'm glad the truth is out and OP and her husband are okay. What an insane manipulator though, sheesh! OP, just in case I hope you and your husband have a good security system with cameras and audio.
Lost Genra. Just want to say I really enjoy these type of stories where the video is dedicated to one full saga.
NTA! GF has a thing for OP’s BF. BF knows it and he’s OK with it. If he goes 0P knows. Where she stands with this tool. Oh Yeah, 99 44/100% of people who were cheated on would have said their SO “would never cheat.” Edit: It’s easy for him to say he would pick OP over GF because he hasn’t had too. But look at how he is behaving when she asked him to skip the party. He wants to take her on a date!
Title Story - Wait, so OP’s husband “is a wonderful person who has always said he’d pick me over her” … but this was said in an update AFTER she told us “he suggested going for drinks, just the two of them” instead of the party … Methinks Hubby enjoys all the attention he’s getting and OP is too dense to see it 😒😒😒
Thanks for the new story LG and go hug your furbabies all 💙🐱💙
You clearly didn't listen to/read the whole story.
@@LocksAndChains I did read it, and OP’s husband is either _that_ stupid he doesn’t think going for drinks with his single female coworker is totally fine or he totally does know and likes the attention from her … people who defend potential cheaters all give me a funny. Thank you!
It’s called narcissistic rage. All psychopaths are narcissists. Her calculated manipulation is definitely psychopathic and her rage is text book. Fascinating.
I don't think most people expect THAT level of unhinged when thinking of 'that one friend,' but that was a ride... I also feel bad for that one friend that she 'exposed.' If she had pictures, something tells me that he was considerably more drunk and she took advantage of it. Hopefully that couple, and really everyone, gets through and past this. They were manipulated for so long...
OP's husband doesn't do anything because he can ignore it until OP gets mad. It's comfortable that way.
I agree that an open invitation would result me going with my husband, assuming I wanted to. (I'm not extremely social, so like as not, I would rather just watch a movie.)
In all honesty I don't understand why the original poster is married to somebody that doesn't defend her against their best friend to begin with because in all honesty the friend is clearly excluding the original poster from being able to go anywhere that the husband is invited because not only is it clear that she's jealous of the original poster but she has feelings for the husband and is trying to find every way possible to make sure she can eventually get him alone and have her way with him and probably destroy their marriage and maybe has a delusional mindset of she manages to accomplish that that she can have him all to herself and in all honesty I feel that of the husband and the update doesn't do anything to stop this Behavior it shows that not only is he aware of what the friend is trying to do but he's going along with it which could indicate there was so much more going on between them even before the original poster in the husband got married
Agree... No "super hot, super smart man" his age would be this naive and pushover. Ok for the few first year when friendship is more important than a 3-month girlfriend, but your wife? You let her disrespect your wife and then reward the asshole friend with single outings to the bar together? Hell no.
I believe there's something more that happened between them either before or after he got together with OP.
I feel like OP sees her husband as out of her league and is willing to do, believe and let it pass so much shit just to keep being with him
You know what it makes a lot of sense that something might have happened between the husband in the best friend god with the original poster it makes a lot of sense why the friend is so jealous and hateful towards her to begin with Plus on top of that I wanted percent agree that the only reason that the original poster you know isn't going all crazy on her husband is like you said because she feels that he's so out of her League that she just would rather keep things the way they are and just go with what he saying so far for the sake of him not leaving her or her having to break up their marriage
He was blinded by history combined with how she set up the friendgroup to exclude her didn't realise
You're right that does make a lot of sense but at the same time I feel like when you have these weird friendships where somebody is that jealous of you trying to be with somebody else why don't you just tell the person that you have feelings for them of your so scared of losing them to somebody else I've always felt like that's what's so weird about these stories and it's been very rare for the original poster and the person they're neither married to or just boyfriend and girlfriend with just end up you know divorcing or breaking up understandably cuz they don't want to live a life with somebody who's going to put this person over them and possibly the future children they end up having with them
I am living for LG and his spicy takes 🎉 keep eating that extra iron cereal! 😂🙌🏼
The fact it's only been days is wild as hell she had dirt on eveyone
What really floors me is that Carrie had compromising photos of them as drunk teens?! And she's a whole ass adult who still has those photos....anytime she threatens to post those, OP and the husband and friends need to bring up the fact that that'll slap Carrie on a sex offender list
@@Callimo agreed like high schoolers can't be high schoolers and grow up like that was the most bizarre part
I had a similar "friend" she was a classmate and would hang out with me and my best friend who was also a classmate at school. Later as adults she reconnected with us and would ask us to go to the beach Me and bf each had 1 kid so we would sometimes not have the money or time to spontaneously hang out. That "friend" would always complain that we couldn't just hang out at a moments notice. Bf and I were talking about it one time and we both realized we were only friends with her because we both thought the other was her friend and so we were just putting up with her for the others sake lol. It was such a relief that we were in the same page and we just stopped hanging out with her.
I'm just glad I'm not in that friend group. Good lord. Also the husband didn't block her right away? All you'd have to do is notify the police and then block her. Notify her family as well.
The best about this channel is that they always have updates! I love it!
Not even 2 minutes in, and OPs husband is disrespectful. He has to pick his friend or his wife, and the fact it's come down to this tells me where their marriage is at.
I keep in mind that Carrie is an adult. No matter how unhinged, she had the moral compass, and yet threw it and her friends into the trash instead of loving and respecting them. Trauma is terrible, I have a feeling "Misery loves company" has been keeping Carrie the way she is.
Holy moly! Carrie needs a nice stay in an "I love" me jacket in a padded room.😮
The decent human being in me hopes that this is the end of the story, but the drama-monger wants to see continued updates about Carrie's insanity.
Ikr? Honestly, I'm sure Carrie isn't finished and I'd like to know how this turns out in the long run.
"Take accountability"? What is wrong with her husband? She has a HUSBAND problem because he doesn't have her back! Also, I agree with that commenter who thinks her husband enjoys this. He seems like he wants two women fighting over him -- even if the "friend" is the only one doing the fighting!
He sounds like a parent with a golden child who thinks the other children should apologise too because the golden child has done something they need to be sorry for.
Control. That's all this crazy, narcissistic person wanted. She wanted control over everything and anything in her life, including the people around her. She underestimated people around her thinking that she can get away with everything just by saying a few words and everybody would be under her command. Once everybody figured out her whole facade just came crashing down.
This group is in their mid-thirties! She kept them under her thumb for around 30 years. That's both impressive and scary.
So she was manipulative, blackmailed, and ruined marriages because she wanted to be included in a group of friends. This is crazy to the extreme I feel sorry for everyone that knew her she is not going away easily 😕
I do think the husband should’ve set boundaries, but also people need to acknowledge it’s hard to cut all ties off with a friend you’ve known since childhood lol the fear of losing someone close to you can be very consuming, so I understand. But he definitely should have stated that they’re a package deal, and not to treat his wife terribly.
I'm sorry, "could be my breakfast cereal came with extra iron and I feel bold" is one of the funniest things I've heard today. I'm planning on using that
"Hey Carrie, the upgraded your position. You are out, and I'm the new one in."
OK, Lost Genre's idea of just showing up to the party...adorable and sassy.
Carrie needs the self love jacket
Hahaha. “My breakfast cereal came with extra iron”. Too funny.
That was a roller coaster ride.
Stories like this are mind boggling to me. How do so many people allow their friends to openly disrespect, exclude and sometimes bully their spouse and do nothing about it? And some of them make it _even worse_ when they have the gall to get mad at their spouse when their spouse wants them to do the bare minimum and stick up for them and not just sit there and do nothing as their friend openly treats them like shit.
Op husband friend is trying to run op off so she can have a chance at her husband
They should all get a restraining order against her. With all the stuff posted in the group chat they should have enough material to get one.
14:38 Am I the only one shocked that at this point he hadn't blocked her yet ? After everything that happened ? He probably didn't do anything with her (she would have already spilled the beans with great pleasure seeing how she's going wild) but I really don't trust OP's husband.
*Holy. F@cking. Sh!t. That's toxic! Good on them for throwing the whole "friend" out. She's on a whole new level of insane!* 😬😬😬
Op is pretty naive, despite her assurances to the contrary. She keeps saying her husband would never cheat, when everyone knows that anyone is capable of cheating at some point in time. Then she goes on about how good looking her husband is, and even later states that Carrie is NOT good looking (I forget if she called her ugly). Well, I have been around a lot longer than most people on reddit, and one thing I have learned about that is that looks, good or bad, have absolutely NOTHING to do with whether a partner will cheat.
Op is not only naive, but a bit arrogant. Good luck to her.
Sounds like the reason Carrie didn't like OP was because she had nothing on her.
OP claims to be a lawyer, but doesn't pursue to file at least a no contact order.
WHAT THE HELL?!
This genius out her broadcasting that she's repeatedly gone after other people's boyfriends/husbands.
Your husband should never attend a social event where you are excluded. NEVER. If he goes divorce him.
*reads title* oh that little so called friend definitely needs an ass whooping of karma my derp
OP's husband's friend group sound like a bunch of high school kids. How did no one ask OP's husband about the whole "can't be in the same room" thing. I'm very suspicious of that. Are they afraid of this Carrie person? Also, OP's husband sucks for going without her. I would never do that to my partner.
Ew, I see that Carrie is one of those "friends".
Bro imagine having extra iron in your cereal being the reason you feeling a bit combative, true Sigma grind set right there.
I love these stories but they make me appreciate my family friends and husband.
1st story: Sounds to my old is making excuses. And whatever is going on between her husband and the best friend because the fact that she is so blind to the fact of how good her husband is she deserves all the pain.
This is the most insane story yet!
Carrie lost comtrol because she... lost control. For years, she'd been the Queen of that group, but now that she's been exposed and booted from the group, she's unable to cope with that reality. Guess she was never would that tight to begin with.
Wow. This story was just crazy. And yes, I enjoyed every second of it.
His friend has a crush on him and wants to replace the OP.
And for YEARS, he had no problems with it. OP allowed her husband to completely shirk any responsibility in this going on as long as it did.
It's crazy how much one person can affect an entire group and make them miserable. Also, OP sounds really naive. Her husband would never cheat because Carrie is his good friend, he finds her annoying and she's ugly? Someone should tell her about all the people that cheated on their partners with best friends and people that they assured their SO was a complete dog that they wouldn't touch with a 30 foot pole.
Ironic that all Carrie had to do was invite OP to their events.
This story reminds me of the time a friend of mine (A) got into a huge fight with a friend of his (B). When A said he was breaking off their friendship, B went ballistic and tried to cause drama with all of A's relationships. B was one of those "guys and girls can't be friends" kind of people, so B decided to find out my partner's email address and tell him that me and A's relationship was "too close" for friends and that he "might want to look into the REAL reason A wants to visit you guys." My partner immediately laughed in his face (well, as much as you can via email) because he/everybody already knew exactly what kind of a-hole B was. We both posted the message on our socials (locked to our/A's mutuals) with a warning that B would probably start s-t with them, too. Once B realized what was going on, he went full ghost and nobody's heard from him since. Good riddance.
That said? If I were OP, I would have NEVER stayed with this guy in the first place. Anyone who lets their so-called "best friend" and/or friend group treat you like garbage is not a person you want to be with, even if they are being manipulated.
Unpopular opinion: I don't care if people think it's stupid, you trust your partner not to cheat. If you don't why the hell are you with that person? I've known people who monitored their spouse 24/7 and still got cheated on. I've personally had a chill approach to relationships: I'm not going to babysit you to make sure you stay faithful. If you cheat, I'm dumping you. And you'll have to live with that. It's so mentally freeing.
And if they do cheat, IT IS NOT BECAUSE YOU TRUSTED THEM! It's because they're garbage and betrayed your trust. And you're still the victim of their betrayal.
Laughing at choice name "Carrie", where's the pig's blood? 😂
Carrie's response to her lies being exposed is called narcissistic rage. Narcissists hate being proven wrong.
In all honesty I'm happy for the original poster and I'm also happy that both the husband in the friends are free of carries bullcrap because in all honesty she is the literal definition of a textbook narcissist and about the ones that are willing to go so far to blow up their lives but I feel that the husband and the friends should actually get her to take legal action against Kerry because technically what she's doing is leaking private information that should only be permitted by those people and not just her because she's pissed off that everybody realizes she's a bad person so if I were them that's what I would do is get a lawyer involved and take this bitch to court and see where things go from there but rather than that I'm glad that finally that the original poster feels happy that she feels as if she finally belongs in the place of feeling like she's friends with her husband's friends even though I felt that the husband should have gone no contact with this person a long time ago I feel like that would have soften the Fallout a little bit more and this would have gone to a lot of the people in that friends group to see how very toxic Carrie was to begin with
Imagine having an amzing group of friends since childhood.. Instead of loving n chersihing them this girl ended up manipulating n gaslighting them. Cause great amount emotional issues...what fool..
Poor OP is experiencing what's called an 'Extinction burst' from Carrie. If she and the others can just keep her at arm's length, she will hopefully wind down soon.
Wow that's a toxic level of CRAZY
If my female best friend treated my wife like that she wouldn't be my best friend anymore she wouldn't even be an associate of me anymore after the first time she did it you have a husband problem I think he's having a fling with her behind your back because otherwise why would he support her over you this is divorce time lady I'm serious I don't usually call for divorce on here but if my wife did that to me I'd be divorcing her immediately you're a doormat right now you're letting this person walk all over you I wouldn't put up with that for one second
Wow. Just wow. The friend seems to be messed in the head.
Brilliant video LG!
Tell the best friend to take a permanent hike unless she wakes up.
$90 says she roofied the guy that cheated with her to use against him later.
She's a Bucket-O-Crazy.
Yeah Carrie collected blackmail and held it for years so I’m gonna say she’s pretty much capable of that as well
You know what’s sad? I heard trauma bonding from childhood and immediately though of a school shooting
It's unnerving that people like this can tell exactly the right story in just the right way so that one person is victimised and blamed and everyone goes along with it. I'm so glad this all came out in the open and resolved -very satisfying.
I am so glad Carrie got abandoned and ended up alone.
11:24 you have the best Carrie voice 😅😂.
It's great and and all that Carrie is out of the group, but this still doesn't excuse her husband's reaction to OP at the beginning asking him NOT to go to Carrie's party. This man was _near tears_ wanting to take Carrie out to dinner and "talk things over". 🙄 I strongly suspect that there was definitely something going on between he and Carrie. OP is extremely naive to assume that Carrie acted alone.
Once heard one of these anime stories- husband had a female friend he hung out with ALOT. The wife said “ I don’t like you hanging out so much and leaving me home alone with our new born”. He said “ but we are just friends and I’m not cheating”.
Finally the wife said “ do what you want BUT just so you know…. When the love dies then I will divorce you..”
PROTECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR DONT CRY WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS GONE
The moral of this story.. communication when something happens that your find strange.
Its pretty childish and petty when OP's husbands best friend is being openly disrespectful to a spouse. The husband needs to put his foot down and bring OP when its an open invitation.
"She is not very cute and he is definitely not attracted to her," yup my ex fiancé said the same thing about my "friend" who was constantly flirting with him, and yet, he ended up cheating on me with her, leaving me for her, and marrying her... Its ok she flipped his life upside down and destroyed him compleatly and utterly.
Tyvm LG stay safe please, peace.
There is no way that she has been telling the friend group this and your husband didn’t know. Sorry. He screwed you over as bad as she did.
Agree!
I'm just going to post this here for all the people calling OP and Husband and friends "doormats:" *Carrie is a narcissistic psychopath.* Her behavior, lies, manipulations, deliberate comments designed to prevent them from talking to each other, subsequent behavior when she gets found out, the melt down, blackmail, threats, and destroying of lives, is very typical of it. OP also mentions trauma bonding, which is probably when she got her hooks into them at the start. They are not "doormats" because narcissists are EXTREMELY good at conditioning people to meet their manipulation and when OP was describing how any drama happens causes Carrie to flip out until everyone's miserable is your key to realizing this; that's what causes narcissistic abuse victims to actively try to "lessen" these incidents or modify their behavior to prevent them, and they're often tricked into believing its their fault in the first place. They modify THEIR behavior because the abuser won't and they *know* how they are and "they're just like that." SO, with that in mind, lay off OP and Husband. OP even mentions the friends are "people pleasers." That's the psychological damage she's done to them.
I've been through it.
I'm currently helping a friend through it.
You likely don't know what it's like so please stop calling them doormats. If anything, they are incredibly strong seeing her BS and breaking off from it. There are people who know their abuser is a narcissist and has for years but you don't understand how hard it can be to get other people to see the truth about their abuser, or how hard it is to escape because *these people often isolate someone from their friends and family as Carrie did with her BS about OP and Husband having too much of a 'sore spot'* or make YOU out to be the liar, or YOU the one with the problem, or ruin YOUR reputation until that day where they finally make the mistake and they get exposed, as Carrie did.
Edit: what she did at the end there was what we call "extinction burst." The last desperate attempt of a narc to regain control.
Yes, absolutely agree.
Thank you. Was getting tired of seeing all the comments blaming op for trusting her husband, calling her a "pickme", blaming her husband for not wanting to nuke his entire friend circle, etc. So many dirty accusations on the people who were being abused. Some even finished the video and still didn't realize how wrong they were.
@@skyetan86 There's still people trying to argue with me who seriously don't get it. Blaming the victims is so triggering, not gonna lie. It's like they have no mental capacity to go on a google search to look this stuff up, I can only conclude they seriously have no idea being blamed as the victim was part of the abuse. It's always everyone else's fault but the narc's.
So many people on Reddit are quick to judge. It isn't easy to understand from a single posting what people actually live through. Three paragraphs describing a situation an OP is posting about does not convey how it developed over time and hindsight is always 20-20. When you're living in the middle of it, it isn't so clear.
So yes, let's stop calling people names like "doormat" and judging them for not being omniscient. The very fact they're posting about it in a public forum and asking for advice from strangers shows that they've come to recognize that something is wrong. Have a little grace and compassion, people.
@@eywine.7762 To be "fair" to those who yell "doormat" they actually haven't personally experienced what a true manipulator is capable of, either. People throw the word narcissist or sociopath around, but really, to get the best idea (very ironically, given recent events) of a true sociopath - is to watch "The Usual Suspects" with Kevin Spacey. (or Silence of the Lambs) - and even professionals constantly forget that these types of people always escalate. They start small and innocuous. They can end up infamous. Can't recall the comedian, but he said "Have you ever noticed that neighbours can't believe next door guy is a serial killer? "We've been to his BBQ's, he seemed so nice". From the outside, they appear like wonderful community members, or at least quiet and private. If you can live next door for 20 years and not realize he has 10 women in his basement...there's no way those kind of deceived folk could comprehend how thoroughly sociopaths hide their true nature...
The fact Carrie held onto those old photos for so long is disturbing.