The Truth About My Current Love Life… (demisexuality, dating, and just generally oversharing)
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
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I'm Molly, a typical sushi, makeup, and fashion loving millennial girl who just so happens to be blind! I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa at just 4 years old and began public speaking at age 5. I started just doing motivational speaking, but now I make videos and even model! Even though I can’t see, I know that there are bright spots in everything we face. Let’s find them together. 💕
So, how's your love life going?! :)
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
Happy and engaged :) (wlw, ace with allo)
Well my only plans today were going to see my surgeon to talk about future operations I have coming up for my health issues. So I think that says it all. Happy Valentine's Day!!
Happy have my perfect man and happy Valentine’s Day Molly! 🌹❤️🤍💗
Don’t ask. Actually it wasn’t all bad, today for Valentine’s Day, a colleague brought in homemade brownies with heart icing on them so I did get a bit of love today. But I’m leaving the UK next week for LA so I’ve stopped trying for a few months
In a healthy relationship after a five year one. Been a year now and I am super happy. Childhood friend of 11 years. So it was easy. But this Valentine's I'm on vacation with my bestie.
I'm asexual. I felt that way for my entire life. I never dated until I met my spouse in my 20s. I was complete before I met him. I'm still a complete person without him. We love each other. We want to and will spend our lives together, but we don't need each other. At the end of the day, being single is better than being in a relationship that isn't fulfilling.
I'm bisexual and feel the exact same way, this resonated so much with me! The strongest (and healthiest) relationships are ones with two individuals with their own whole lives that choose to be together, not people who are co-dependent on each other.
I have a question because I'm aromantic and asexual... did you find your partner with romantic attraction? Or if not how did you find him? Because the few times someones been attracted to me I was completly caught of guard and it felt dishonest to try something with them because I wasn't feeling the same thing as them
"We don't need each other" really got me, I feel like I've never heard anyone say this about a healthy relationship before, I'm so programmed to expect couples to be codependent. This sounds like a much healthier option to me.
No one should desire to feel needed, that shouldn’t ever be the goal. Everyone should strive for and deserves to find someone that will make them feel wanted ♥️
love to hear this! these are often the healthiest, safest relationships. i'm happy for you + don't even know you. 😊😊🥳
Welcome to the Ace community Molly! Cheers to being single, feeling complete and not needing a partner! Your life is clearly filled with love this valentine's day!
YES, I have so much love in my life this v-day, I don't need or want any of the romantic love!!
“I’m trying to manifest being a lesbian, but I’ve only ever been attracted to men (personal flaw)” 😭😭😭 MOLLY I LOVE THAT
You know, I always said that “it would be so much easier to be a lesbian” and now I’ve realized I am one.
So be careful with that manifestation 😂
Just waiting for the right girl to turn my head! hahaah
@@MollyBurkeOfficial being on good standing with your ex is pretty gay 😉
@@MollyBurkeOfficial OOOO yaaass!! 💕💕
And then you realize it is not actually that much easier... women are also very confusing
@@catxsoho it’s “easier” in the way that I don’t have to FORCE myself to feel certain things anymore. But relationships are still relationships and they still require a lot of energy and care :)
Love this! I'm single in my 40's and also very content. Society paints people like me as tragic or pathetic, and I reject that. I believe you can have so much love in life, but it doesn't have to be romantic love. You can have friends, colleagues, and family, and live a rich and fulfilling life.
Molly!!! Thank you so much for talking about demisexuality! I'm a 35 year old asexual woman and I relate soooooo much to people constantly asking about my dating life- it got so ridiculous with my extended family that in my mid 20s I literally had to pull my aunt aside one day and say, "you have to stop asking about my dating life or lack thereof. I'm a happy and complete person with a master's degree, a successful career, wonderful family and friends, a ton of hobbies I really enjoy, and I am not defined by being single." After that, the questions kinda died down! Now that I'm 35 and have never been in a relationship, I think people have given up so it doesn't come up often anymore. Ironically I'm trying to date now because I decided I want to try, and it is tough! Anyway, thank you for talking about this because so many people have no idea it's a thing! 💜
omg so slay!!! 💫💫
thank you so much for posting this!! It helps a lot.
OMG, it is none of these people's business! Btw, congratulations on the masters and job, and I'm happy you have family and are living your best life.💘
I personally don't care to date. If it happens, it happens, but it isn't a goal.
The thing that bothers me most is they men rarely get this constant questioning, as I guess they're allowed to be seen as complete regardless of their relationship status.
I agree! Thank you for sharing!!!
Question for the ace spectrum killer bees & Molly.
I am still exploring my A sexuality and what it means.
Do you find that your disability or mental health diagnosis have influenced your asexuality ? Something I’ve been discussing in therapy and trying to figure out. I don’t personally know anyone else who’s Ace and would love to get others opinions or experiences.
❤
Fellow demisexual here! So cool to see a public figure bringing this community to light! Lots of people when I tell them don't know what it is.
Oh hey Demi friend!!
Same here! :)
Fellow demisexual here as well.
YES!!!!
Agreed!! I’m also Demi, just really came to the realization in the past year or so, at 32 years old. When I was younger I “sowed” my wild oats and never understood why it didn’t “do” anything for me. Now I know why. I’ve been single over 6 years, I’ve used dating apps but not very seriously at all and have t even met with anyone really since COVID started. And I’m totally fine with just me and my rescue dogs! It’s going to take a really special guy to make me want to change my routine and let someone in
I'm a bisexual and demisexual girly who's been watching you for years, and finding out you're also demisexual makes me so happyyyy! Been single 3+yrs, I'm 28 and loving it. And Flowers has been on repeat. Love you Molly
Yes for manifesting being a lesbian. Honestly, can highly recommend !!! ♥️💗♥️💗♥️💗
The pressure from friends and family for me to date, find someone, get married, etc, is CRUSHING. People in a relationship really can't see that a single person can be content sometimes....
Thank you so much for being open about this and validating other ace/demisexual people. I'm also in my late 20s and I have never dated anybody, but I've never felt like I've needed to/been close enough with someone to want to date them. I'm now at the stage in my life where most my peers are married, engaged, dating someone, etc and there have been times where I have felt like something was wrong with me for not fitting into that. But what you said about having a "feeling of wholeness and feeling complete" is exactly what I needed to hear. People like us are not broken, we're actually complete. We're not picky, we are discerning of the people we let into our already satisfying lives. We're not frigid, instead, we're warm and compassionate to all around us and not just to one partner. I think if people want to be in relationships that's great, but there are also those who are happy being by themselves even though society tells us we cannot be.
as an aroace person, I humbly welcome you to the aro & ace-spec community! It is so refreshing to see more public figures speaking on this!
I'm at the beginning of my 30's and have been single for many many years. I've always been an independent person, and honestly at this point adding another person in my life sounds like more work than its worth some days. I like not having to run decisions, finances, plans, etc by another person. Nothing wrong with being a Single Lady buying herself Flowers!!
Same!! Same!!
Girl I am demisexual lesbian and have never been in a serious relationship ( I am young) and I love your energy. Some times I struggle with the fact that I feel like I am missing milestones that other people my age have experienced and it is nice to hear your story.
Most milestones are bogus anyway. I’m nearly 29 and never been in a relationship, never even kissed someone. You do what you want at your own pace and don’t let anyone tell you different!
I am asexual Demi-biromatic and thank you for speaking about demisexuality. The Demi community isn’t one that gets spoken about a lot. I also don’t get asked out but like I am fine with that because I also have no interest in dating. I read romance novels and watch a lot of romance movies and I love that stuff but real dating is a no for me. I get everything I need from my friends and family and also my cat.
Hey Molly! I’m aromantic asexual, and I feel you so much with other people always asking “are you dating anyone” and trying to reassure me that “I’ll find someone”! I get so fed up with it! Thank you for talking about it!
I'm aro\ace too!!
I'm 37, on the asexual spectrum and have been single for many years. People don't understand, that I don't WANT to date. So, yeah, I can totally relate.
totally understand 🙋
I’m a 37 year old Demi/Pan and my 12 plus years of marriage I have learned that relationships can only be improved when you are content in yourself and know what you bring to the relationship. So I think it’s fantastic that you are doing exactly that with yourself! ❤
As an ace person I totally felt you telling your mom that you'd explained being demi so many times. My mom can't manage to remember no matter how many times I explain it!
Glad to hear you are so comfortable in your life ❤️
I am asexual, so I can relate to feeling content without a partner. I don't seek it out. I don't reject it when it feels right either though. I feel like this is a very healthy way to go about romantic and sexual love. I wish more people were accepting of folks who don't pursue relationships and let people have their privacy.
I'm asexual and on the aromantic spectrum and I completely understand feeling content in not being in a relationship. Thank you for sharing how it's normal and okay to not desire a relationship! :)
Sooo is demisexual a synonim with aromantic?
@theflashgirl2057. No, demisexual means you don't experience sexual attraction except toward people you have a close emotional relationship with.
Thank you thank you thank you for bringing up demisexuality. I am on the asexual spectrum as well and no one talks about it and if they do they say it’s a lie or that it’s something EVERYONE feels so we’re making up labels for nothing. It’s so frustrating. So thank you! ♥️
I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW DEMISEXUAL
I love this as a valentine's day video. I met my husband on a video game almost 6 years ago now! I feel like it's so much easier to find someone way more compatible online than in the area.
I needed this, honestly. Thank you so much for sharing this, it's important to know someone feels the same way as you do and you are not weird for being different. Sometimes I feel like romantic relationships means SO MUCH MORE to every other person than for me. I am speaking to my friends and they are like "So what's your love life?", and I have nothing to say except "I don't have any and I genuenly don't want any". At some moments I thought something is not okay with me. That I have some kind of trauma that I am not aware of and that I need to overcome by dating... As stupid as it is getting myself into REAL traumatic experiences. I just want to say that it's okay not wanting romantic relationship (at this particular stage of your life or never). Many people will not understand and will keep projecting their understanding of happiness to you, but that doesn't mean you need to adjust yourself to what society perceives as normal.
You are definitely being relatable with this, Molly. Fighting amatonormativity, being awkward when people try to ask you out and glad if they don't, having to explain your identity to your parents five hundred times, fitting in with your queer friends and even thinking about solo parenthood: I'm sure most aspec people can relate to those. I'm happy for you and for this video to come out on Valentine's Day. Thanks for being yourself and being open! Have a lovely day!
Happy Valentines day 💓 Molly! It's fine to be single and enjoy your life. You do you!
oh my goodness I'm so excited for a Molly Rambles video. These are my fav videos you make. Hope you're doing wonderfully Molly! Sending love your way!
😂😂 your mom and your interaction about what demisexual is, is exactly what happens everytime I mention it with my mom!! She never remembers!
hahaah glad I'm not alone!!
My grandmother when I’m trying to explain aceflux and bring polyamorous 😂
Demi bi woman here!!! Molly, hearing you talk about being Demi in such an accepting @its who I am” way is SO good to hear in terms of representation. It really helps take all of my internalized shame that I’ve worked through and push it even farther away ❤
THANK YOU! Watching your video made me realise what I could not really put into words. I am single for YEARS and same as you I do not feel any gap in my life that needs or wants to be filled. From time to time I let social pressure convince me to go on a date, then take the first chance to cancel whatever might have been blossoming and tell everyone with a great feeling of relief that I "tried".
Won't do it again thanks to you. Unless I myself want it. I do feel that wholeness as well and it is the best feeling indeed. Thanks again. Your words will help me articulate my feelings regarding this topic so much in the future.
Love you ❤️🐝
Great video!! Been single all my life, and now that I’m retired, I truly feel like I dodged a bullet!😂 I love doing whatever I want, whenever I want, and no one questions my purchases. 👍🏻
Happy valentines fellow demi girly!!! We're out here livin our best long term single lives 💖💖💖 (for me it's been since late 2020, been kinda hard to meet people and bond over the past few years as a chronically ill person lol)
I love the way you worded how you feel currently about relationships. I have never actively dated, and I used to think I was demisexual too or on the ace spectrum overall but realized for me it is purely regarding decisions and comfort, not attraction per se. I even realized my attraction isn't only to men, but that doesn't change my intentions.
My relationships have been with friends i've bonded with naturally that lead to romance. I have been on the too extreme end in the past of disliking romantic relationships from being hurt and fearing pain. Right now I am in the most healthiest relationship i've been. We had been close friends for over a year and have dated for a few months now. He's overall one of the best and kindest souls i've met in my life. Despite this, I'm so independent and used to not envisioning typical future couple goals (like getting married) that i'm fearing labels and really need to question what to do moving forward. I know that sadly fear of pain and fear of codependency is there since the worst pain i've experienced thus far was a breakup with someone I was unhealthily attached to.
All I know is that my feelings with romance have always been so intense, emotionally draining, or just felt out of character (even if in very positive ways at times), but this person brings me so much peace.
Molly, I appreciate your honesty and sharing your feelings with us all. You always find a way to make your community feel loved, valued and understood.
😘
Aw, this comment means a lot to me!
As a 58 years old demisexual female, I am so glad that people are discovering their authentic self sooner than I and my generation did! ✨🥺🌈☯️☮️💛🕉️🌈💫✨ Namaste and Blessings
THIS seriously helped me. I always identified as bi and now that I think about it I too fit into the demi just because I need to be with friends with someone before any attraction is felt
Oh my god Molly welcome to the ace community!!! We have a lot of fun here😌💛
Love seeing people recognize their asexuality!! I’m grey ace and panromantic but honestly didn’t realize until years after I got married (thanks to purity culture and being raised fundamentalist evangelical) and I stay married bc I’m romantically attracted to my spouse but we both talk about how much we wish I would have known and understood before so we could maybe both made an informed decision.
I'm also demi and have felt the exact same as you in the past. Being happily single, not dating, not sleeping with anyone and not on any apps, really confuses some people to the point they think you are lying. We all should just be free to be however we want to be when it comes to sex, dating and relationships. Really happy you feel so comfortable and complete 😊
Also demisexual/romantic here, and before I got into my first and current I was content with a relationship and bedroom activities. I just didn’t care that much, but I felt I should so I put myself on dating apps. So I did, and found myself an amazing person I cannot imagine living without and honestly its scary. Being happy and single is so much easier because I now have a person I literally don’t know how I would live without. I don’t know what would happen if we broke up or if one of us died (I almost did so not a far off thought). Being demi is so weird, I spent so much of my life not experiencing feelings of love or lust and now they are here I can not handle the idea of it changing.
FINALLY! Someone who understands why I've been single for 2 years next month. So tired of people saying, "you're single, how? Why?" I am so content for the first time in my life being alone, and I have so much going on in my life, I don't have the time, or emotional availability to even think about dating. I am 32. I have always wanted a relationship, the marriage, the kids. After my last break up. I don't want any of it. So thank you for sharing. I know you think you are alone on this, but I'm letting you know, you're not. Happy Valentines Day ❤️
I am 58 years old and perfectly happy being a solo female. I am very content, and often joke that if I got into a relationship that he had better have his own place I can send him home. too. So, unless I meet someone extremely special, I don't know if I will change anything in my soloness.
I’m 63 and same!
As a demisexual, I completely understand what you're talking about. I think I give more ace vibes, because usually people were surprised when I started dating than the other way around haha But yeah, live your truth and if the label helps you understand yourself, like it happened to me, go for it! Aside from being a great ambassador for disable rep, now you're our DemiQueen!
(Also, very funny for me but I'm just one day younger than you haha starting my 29s too)
OMG haha I love it! And happy belated birthday!!! XO
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY MOLLY! 💗❤️❤️🤍🤍🌹🌹🤍❤️❤️🤍🌹🌹🌹🤍💗❤️❤️❤️🤍🌹🌹🤍💗❤️❤️💗🌹🌹🌹🤍🤍❤️❤️💗🌹🌹🌹🤍💗❤️❤️💗🌹🌹🌹🤍💗💗🤍🌹🌹
Preach Molly! This video is so well timed because I lectured in my intro to Women & Gender Studies class that labels of gender/sexual identity are socially constructed so if saying you're demi feels right for you then use it and if someone tries to tell you you're wrong because you don't follow certain definitions they're policing your identity and that's not cool and tell people off if they do it.
My mom once asked me if I was a lesbian because me and my friend laughed a lot together. 🙄😆happy Valentines Day Molly!!!
You are great! As I struggle with my own health issues you are truly inspiring and make my days more bearable! Sending all the love to you on Valentine's day 💕💕💕
I'm exactly on the same page as you ! Being single is so great in the end, why no one talk about it is a wonder to me.
Hearing you explain demisexuality to your mother for the hundredth time made me smile, it’s so familiar.
I’ve been I’ve been openly ace for over 10 years now, and every time I mention being ace in passing around my mother, she continues to act like it’s new information.
Molly, it feels so refreshing to hear your take because I'm right there with you! I'm 29, happily single after years of forcing myself into relationships because I thought it was expected from me, I feel complete, I don't miss "bedroom activities", I don't want kids, I'm content with my life and where it's headed! I'm well aware it could change at any time, but I feel so whole and satisfied with the choices I made for myself so far. :) Thank you for sharing!
I relate to EVERYTHING you said. You're not alone Molly. 😢 I'm SO scared of getting in another relationship, it literally keeps me up some nights. The PRESSURE. The PRESSURE of feeling obliged to be a mother, a wife, the SURMOUNTABLE PRESSURE of having to pay the bills, be everything to a partner and or our kids. To be a free therapist, an unpaid chef, maid, masseuse, ect... and not having any time/energy to do ANYTHING I enjoy anymore EVER. I've done it WAY to often (minus having kids), only to be gaslight, cheated on, ghosted etc... I know it might seem pessimistic but I HATE dating, all it does if give me ANXIETY and DEPRESSION (and more therapy bills which is SO expensive btw. 🙄 I hope I NEVER fall on love again and or become a lesbian too. I'm TERRIFIED of becoming pregnant. I have a bad back, a bad knee and tendonitis in my right hand and I'm right handed so I'm ALWAYS sore and tired. I'm also autistic so I NEED lots of time/energy to engage in my special interests or I get really depressed, I'm super introverted too so I'm VERY easily overstimulated. I'm in pain and tired ALL DAY EVERY DAY, I CAN'T handle more stress and problems. So I totally get you there, 100%.
"I'm trying to manifest being lesbian!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am dying!!!!! I didn't realize I was bisexual until I was 37 and I'm happily married to my husband of 14 yrs!! But a few instances that happened when I was younger just, make no heterosexual sense, let me say!!!! But I have never had a crush or liked a woman, at least consciously, but I do find women attractive. I do think it's really cool that you are open to it if one day you are open to a partner!! I'm so glad that you are so happy and content where you are right now!! Good for you!!!!
Haiii Molly, I'm asexual and demiromantic (I also happen to be attracted to all genders). I totally relate to you saying how it's easy to compare yourself to those around you when it comes to love life, and when I tell people I've never liked anyone they either don't belive me or try to actively find someone for me to like. It's nice hearing more stories from fellow demi people 💜
Sending love as a fellow ace person! I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing your demisexuality + thoughts on relationships/romance here, and I'm sure it'll help so many other people understand themselves too
Welcome to the community!! As an asexual myself, I totally get the feeling of not needing to put yourself out there and having this need to find a partner. Having these feelings (or not having them) is absolutely valid and it's honestly so freeing to have a word to describe what the experience is.
Thank you for being so open! I always feel so alone in the demisexual community, but so glad there are others out there!
Oh my goodness!!! You have just changed this 59 year old woman’s life!!! All my life when others around me were pairing up and starting families everyone kept telling me “your day will come. You’ll find your Prince Charming!” (By the way, why is it some unknown guys responsibility to make a girl happy? No pressure, just make me unbelievably happy 24/7 for the rest of my life!!) Anyway, I have never heard the word demisexual until I watched your video. I need to thank you for sharing your truth with us, because I know it’s lead me to find my truth about my own sexuality. I truly thought there was something wrong with me. At least that’s how society made me feel. You keep doing what’s best for you sweet girl.
Yay Molly!! As a member of the asexual community, welcome to the umbrella! The ace spectrum can be a really lovely community, and I'm so glad you're here with us. As an ace lesbian, the whole "manifesting being a lesbian" thing killed me. I love it. 😂
I totally feel like I can relate you once again. I am demisexual and it took me a while to realize that. I always thought there was something wrong with me because I was so much more different than friends my age. I feel like in today’s society there’s such an emphasis on romantic relationships that were made to feel incomplete if we don’t have one or if we don’t want to be in one. It’s super problematic and I’m so glad you’re changing the narrative.
The fact that your conversation with your mom is my exact conversation that I’ve had with every single one of my family members cracks me up! I’m demisexual (and questioning if I’m more grey-ace instead but that’s beside the point) and every one of my family members has forgotten multiple times that I’ve told them. It’s hilarious and exhausting at the same time!
This video resonated with me a lot. I've never consider myself as one who desires a relationship. I was watching your channel ever since I was 13. I'm 20 now and still a subscriber. Can't wait for the next video.
I can definitely identify with that. I have been single for 5+ years, and honestly, I am good. Working on myself, my business, and my family is important to me. I don't like labels because I feel like it's so limiting. I am just me ❤️
I was married for 12yrs, and after we separated I also fully closed all those doors and happily stayed single and lived alone for many years! Eventually I met a guy through common interests and we're now in a lovely relationship, but I find great comfort in knowing that if it doesn't work out I'm also perfectly happy going back to my solo life. There's such freedom in living a full life that's tailored JUST for you and not having to worry about needing someone else to complete it.
I have to say, this resonates with me so much! I’m also definitely not wanting or open to a partner or seeking a relationship right now. Just because I am single, does not mean I am available. I am bisexual and open to a relationship with a women if and when I am ready to date again… Thank you for sharing! You are so down to earth, smart, and beautiful.
GIRL! I totally understand the being, blissfully, happily single. I've been there. And the attitude that comes at you like, "but you have to put yourself out there!" I was like, "no I don't! Marriage is not a priority to me."
I am not in this season any more because I am now happily betrothed, getting married soon, and super duper excited! I am quite literally marrying my best friend. He and I were best friends for a very long time before deciding to take our relationship to another level.
BUT, I am super happy for you. I've been there in the past - being blissfully, happily single. It's such a great place to be. And you're right, those who are in the thick of it, in the dating world, trying to find their mates just don't understand that sort of blissful singleness. No worries, girl, I get it. I get it.
Swiped right on a lovely human from Toronto. Wound up moving from the States to Canada! I too was in a position where dating was not on the list of priorities and one night was just drinking some wine with a friend and BLAMMO!!! My service dog loved them more than I did at first. And it was after almost a decade of happiness on my own! I'm so glad you are enjoying your path and wherever it takes you! I was 43 when we met!
Hey Molly, as long as you're happy, who cares if it's with a partner or not, if you feel fulfilled, happy and content with where you're at, that's wat matters. So proud of you for figuring out what works for you and finding terms to describe how you feel. Stay close to yourself and I wish you so much light, love (in whatever form works for you, friends, family etc.) and happiness.
Molly, you just described my sexuality perfectly!! I’ve never been able to put it into words like you did so thank you!!
Aa a demisexual, gender fluid person (married, childfree by choice) I'm so happy that you find a way to describe you to yourself and to others too. I also do not tick all the boxes for "the label", but it's not for others to decide, it's an inner thing. You just know what you are.
oh my goodness molly! i suppose it's overdue but welcome to the ace family! we're so happy to have you! omg i FEEL you on the questions people ask you and the confusion when you share about being ace/demi. it baffles me how many people, whether i know them personally or not, are more invested in my love life (which i'm aro/ace so it doesn't exist at all, it's a figment of their imaginations) than i am myself!
I have never nodded along to a video so much before. As a single lady myself, with no desire to date, 100% agree with everything you are saying Molly👏🏼
Hey Molly. I wanted to say thank you for this video. I am visually impaired myself and trying to figure myself out when it comes to sexuality/dating, etc. I love dancing, and you'd think that that's a perfect circumstance to get to know new people. But most times I just find myself not picking up the courage. And although other things play a role in it (low self-asteem etc.) I realized that not being able to read the room/the expressions of people makes it SO much harder for me personally. And - just as you mentioned - people poking holes in you with questions about you dating etc. doesn't make it better. I currently meeting a friend of mine who I'm into. And it's eating me up from the inside to not know if she picked up on my feelings, and, if yes, how she reacts to it. So hearing from another blind persons perspective really helps, also at taking a step back, taking a deep breath and not rushing things. Love your content! Keep up the great work!
Your comment about not needing to fit in the boxes society draws up for us regarding relationships resonated so much with me. Every time I have been in a serious relationship so many people (even people I barely knew) would ask if we planned on having kids. When I would say no, I never want them, they would always say "you'll change your mind some day". Fuck the boxes, we make our own!!!
Giiiiiirl SAME. I'm 31. Been single as a pringle since Nov 2021 and I have ZERO desire to start dating again. The longer I spent single, the more I think that any potential partner in the future is gonna have to bend over backwards to prove that being with them is better than the peace and freedom I feel being on my own.
I am saving your video to show to the nosy family members, I'm 30 next month and have been single for 8 years. Some people can't deal with the fact that I'm just not interested!
demi love is so beautiful like yes only the closest people can get closer
Welcome to the ace fam, Molly! I love that lightbulb moment when you realize there’s a word for how you feel AND that other people understand. Major congrats on your growth! ❤
I am absolutely DYING at "personal flaw, i dont know" about not having ever been attracted to a Woman. Molly, I think you being happy on your own is just you giving yourself the love you would want from other people and THAT is the best kinda love there is! Proud of having seen your journey and I will be manifesting alongside you that some wonderful woman one day comes into your life and gives you more of the love that you deserve.
It's really frustrating that everyone expects you to be in a relationship or want to have kids. I've known since 18 that I don't want kids and that I probably don't want to be in a relationship. But almost everyone, from coworkers to family to the clients at work to random strangers, still asks and want to either know my reasons for my choices or give me a lecture on why relationships and kids are good. They can't just accept it as it is.
I've spent years thinking about these questions, which is a lot longer than the few seconds the random stranger has been thinking about my relationships/life, I know by now it's not a phase!
It's ridiculous the amount of times I have to say "I don't want a partner EVER" so that the other person takes my no to a blind date seriously or lie that I have a partner so that the other person stops being weird.
I'm very happy being single because of what Molly said, I already feel whole and content. Life doesn't always need to be two people in front of a house with kids and a dog to be perfect. Friends and hobbies keep me occupied enough and I'm not "dying alone" just because I don't have kids or a partner. Also, when you're single without kids, oh man, you have so much free time to just enjoy yourself!
Love this and I agree 100% and share so many things with you!! I’m a 38 single woman who’s loving being single (for the past 7.5 years now). I came to understand while being single that I am on the asexual spectrum and just like you, I’ve always had boyfriends and yet I’d be happy if my next partner (if I ever feel like having one) would be a woman. I also have people telling me the same thing they tell you regarding dating and finding someone. And also when I say I don’t want kids, people say “oh it’s just because you’ve not found the right person yet. Once you find the right person, you’ll likely want kids” ➡️ BS, I’m telling you: I DON’T WANT KIDS!! Anyway, I’m with you on everything you said, and as usual, you said it very well! 😊
I'm ace too! Welcome to the community! I recently discovered I'm also demiromantic and completely relate to that feeling of wholeness! Definitely with you on how we pick the labels that work best for us instead of squeezing ourselves into the boxes! Also, happy aro week and UK queer history month if anyone reading this is aro or a UK queer 💚♠️💜
omgeeee I love the start of this video!!! Such a trend! Also, love your manifestation- Love to see the support to the community 🏳🌈♥
Hey, Molly! I’m so proud of you for knowing what you want and being happy with yourself! I was in the same exact spoke you were in last year. I had decided I was happy on my own and didn’t want the burden of a relationship. I had started planning my life as a single woman. Fortunately, I ended up finding the love of my life out of no where. So, I can say when you aren’t looking is when love does find you. But you do you, girl! Be happy! Regardless of what society thinks! When YOU are ready for love, it’ll find you. And if you never want it, then you do whatever you want that makes you happy!
I’m 37 and am engaged for the first time in my life. I enjoyed being single and was happy and content with my life and now I have found someone that has become my best friend, soulmate, and love of my life, but it wasn’t something I was searching for, it just happened. 🤷🏼♀️
I just have to say, I have been watching you for years. As someone who is sighted, I find your videos fascinating and educating. However the most engaging part of your videos is the way you communicate. You are truly gifted and I enjoy listening to your humor and stories. I literally don’t care much about UA-camrs anymore but for some reason I always find myself listening to your entire rambles. Anyways all the love Molly.
I was single for about 6 or 7 years, I think? Same boat, Molly! I didn't want a relationship. I needed that me time. I'm SO glad I did too, because I did get on a dating app when I was ready, and went on a fabulous date with this wonderful man and we've been together for almost 4 years now, living together for 2, engaged as of last year, and today we put a date for next year on hold for a beautiful wedding venue! I am also 34 years old (35 when we marry). You have every right to move at your own pace. I cannot tell you how many times I was told that I NEEDED to get out and start dating because of my age, which is a "societal norm" and is completely BS. Let's break that. Let's do things how WE want to, not how society thinks we should.
Good for you to know what you want/don’t want in your life right now and not be pressured by others. I was married for 17 years-now divorced for 11 years and content/happy with my single life. Only went out on 2 different dates early on in the separation and nothing since. I too get the same questions as you-even at almost 60 years of age 😂.
(In regards to your demisexual conversation) YES!!! This is why labels can be a good thing! Giving credence to your feelings and giving you the tools to verbalize them to people when otherwise society (as we grew up with it, being only a couple years older than Molly) never gave us those options. I am a bisexual woman but even that term felt wrong for SO MANY years because of how demonized those types of labels were, I love the acceptance and variety that just shows how different human beings can be while all still being valid
I feel like what you are describing at 8:24 is how I see spoon theory! You have a limited amount of energy (spoons) and you are consciously choosing what to prioritize with that energy, and that is SO VALID. Romantic relationships take work and energy and it is actually really healthy to take a break from them if you don't have enough capacity. I am chronically ill, demi, queer, trans, and solo poly, and had intentionally taken a break from dating for many years.
I started dating again about a year ago months ago and I can't tell you the number of dates I have been on where I have been ghosted/flaked on by people (most of them disabled) who will eventually reappear after weeks/months saying "I am sorry, I don't have the capacity to go on dates right now." I would rather people not date if they don't have the capacity than leave me hanging.
My youngest is also single and not looking for a relationship. He's too busy working on himself. And that's a good thing. Nothing wrong with being happy on your own.
I've always felt the same way! Been with a military guy for the last 8 years and call it my "part-time" relationship! I've learned I can't do relationships all the time so having someone that's gone 6-9 months out of the year is perfect for me. I get to live a mostly single lifestyle where I do what I want, when I want, how I want 90% of the time. Then 10% where I do the relationship thing is a want and not a need as I am complete without but get to choose to love!
Enjoy this time of feeling whole! Enjoy the life you have built! I am so incredibly proud of you for all of these things you have been able to do- UA-cam, an incredibly active social life, your very own home. And I think it's really good that you're feeling so good and so confident in your own skin. You deserve it
Thank you, Naeve, for asking on camera lol I wanted to know too. Molly, I am so glad you are content in who you are. You are enough. It's something I didn't learn for 10 years later in my life than you. I am now 41 and living loved. It is so freeing being secure and separate from the stress that comes with wondering when my prince will come...because he's supposed to, right? Everything I was taught as a young girl pointed to the expectations. I'd have been so happy if it had happened that way, but the hurt and trauma I allowed in my life trying to fill an expected role with the wrong person truly wasn't worth it. I wish at some point someone had told me "you are enough and you don't need someone to complete you." Molly, you are whole in and of yourself and you are loved. 🙏🏻 Happy discount chocolate day 🍫
Yesss demi here too. Such a relatable video 💖💖love molly rambles
I’m a bisexual girlie in a long term relationship with a demisexual guy, and seeing you talk about your demisexuality and being so content with your life made us both so happy for you! Also, the “manifesting attraction to women” part hit too close to home😂❤
That intro is such a MOOD.
I'm freshly 28 and this is my first single Valentine's Day since 2009, so I feel it 💙
Omg I feel the same way. You summed up everything perfectly for me. I been single a long time now and don't feel I'm missing anything. I have my job, my apartment, my cat, my parents, uncles and aunts, and few friends. When I'm done with my day I'm just tired and contain with happiness.
Thank you soo much for sharing all of that! Feels so good to know that there are many more people feeling like this. I'm also a very happy and complete-feeling single (even though valentine's day and all these advertisements and my family and friends really try to convince me differently). I'm also demisexual and right now I can't picture myself ever wanting children. I'm open for a relationship and in general open to change my mind or whatever but I also don't wanna spend all my time looking for "the one", if that even exists, being very happy on my own and just enjoying life. So many people tell me things like "you'll change your mind when you find 'the one'" or what you said about having to put yourself out there but I'm not even sure if I want that. Anyway, just thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with that, just feels good to know people feel exactly the same🥰