I do things from my heart, any man I've dealt with has regretted it. They will reap what they've sowed. If you treat them well, they turn around and treat you wrong. Karma is coming for them. I can promise you that. You may not get to see it, but you can bet your bottom dollar. I am telling you I am a firm believer
Ladies, you do NOT expire after the age of 30. I got married very young the first time, at 19. Divorced in my late 20s. I got married the second time at 56 years old. Love is so much sweeter the second time around.
Yeah I'm tired of that brainwashing ppl use to control women my age. The hatred society has towards older women is sick. Plus I know plenty of older that got married after 30.
The only time I often had boys interested in me was my early 20s after I had lost 40lbs. They were all tools and wanted "nothing serious" so I moved on. I gained the weight back and "hit the wall" so I became invisible to most people again, but after that was when I finally found somebody who was actually interested in a real relationship. It only happened when I stopped worrying about finding somebody and just focused on myself until somebody found me.
Same! I never have this I need a man problem. The problem I have is I meet a guy I like and want a man, not need a man. Sometimes the man will fake interest. Sometimes I'll get confused because the guy seems to like me, but doesn't make concrete plans. Jokes on him because I'm an introvert who loves my space and free time.
A few days ago, I ran into an old guy friend and texted him afterward to say it was nice seeing him and suggested we hang out sometime (looking back, I probably shouldn’t have reached out first or asked him to hang out). He took hours to reply with a casual, “Yeah nice seeing you too! Yeah we should hang.” Later, I followed up asking when, and he took even longer to respond. I eventually got tired of waiting and told him that I knew his slow responses weren’t because he was busy but because he’s not interested in me and neither am I. After that, I decided to block him and move on.
I feel like the smart thing to do is to avoid men and relationships altogether. There are so many rules of engagement, we're not allowed to get excited about prospects, not allowed to have any expectations, can't order whatever you want on a date, gotta keep your legs closed until marriage. WHAT'S THE POINT OF PARTICIPATING IN THIS??? WHEN DID DATING BECOME SO AWFUL? 😢
Totally agree. Would you play a table game of which you don't know all the rules? I won't. You won't enjoy it and won't be able to play it anyway. Same with dating
@wardiya3arbiya exactly!!! 💯💯💯 I'm a divorced single mother of one, and I STILL don't understand the rules of this game. I've been abstinent and stopped dating for over 5 years now, but every time I dip my toe in the dating pool, it's polluted af and I'm reminded why I choose to remain single. Very sad state of affairs.
Just by the title alone…..this is accurate. Using is not limited to money and possessions, it can be using you for your attention, your time, your efforts, etc. if you don’t know how to set boundaries or have a sense of self you’ll be taken advantage of and walked all over. It’s a shame that we all weren’t taught to value yourself and respect yourself before we were conditioned to please others…family, friends, partner. It’s not being selfish, it’s balance.
My goodness, so much wisdom in this podcast, sis. Not one lie told. Seeking your identity, validation, worth and fulfillment through men is a losing game. Convincing women that marriage and childbearing is their magnum opus, the greatest thing they can achieve in life is a psyop perpetrated by patriarchy to keep women feeling inadequate and male centered. Thank God the programming is crashing, and women can reboot their lives on their own terms.
It's okay to be desperate for marriage or love. What's wrong is to be desperate with a man who cant provide you with those things like money, love, affection, stability and protection. Instead of moving on from him to someone else, you stay and self-sacrifice only for him to take advantage of you. If you're desperate for marriage and love, keep glossing through mxn who are not capable of it until you find the best candidate for you . Dont settle for a bum.
When it comes to dating I always ask myself these questions before engaging with a man… What season am I in? “Am I in a season of loneliness?” “Am I in a season of boredom?” “Am I in a season of desperation?” If I answer yes to any of those questions above… I remove myself from the dating scene and reevaluate what’s really happening within me. Once you are fully comfortable with knowing what it means to be alone and tend to your own garden; it will be less likely for you to find yourself in compromising situations/ relationships. Just what I’ve learned over time.
12:24 We all expire when we DIE! so while you are still alive live your life the way you want because at the end of the day you are only stuck with yourself and your life choices. Other people, they come and go and you'll stay only with you. Be smart and live for YOU only.
I'm not even on social media like that - no IG or Tiktok, or Snap, but I'm going to honest. I'm going to be honest. It's hard to move on when you find a man who you think is a good match. My dad wasn't present and left me to be raised by my mom who I think did the best she could as a single mother. While I think I have decent standards when it comes to men, I fold easily without in-depth considerations for my needs and my fulfillment in a relationship. It's so sad. There's only one man in this world who I've given this energy, and moving past it is hard. It's so embarrassing because I'm doing the work and have no tolerance for this behavior with any other men, but here I am. I hope this is the year I successfully move past it. Good luck to all of you going through it.
i dont know your full story ,i understand its very hard. i dont know if youve been into this position or not...but personally, after long years of doing my best to make something work and it got worse and worse. i realized "fixing /chasing" something never ends well. its always better to leave it early, instead of being in regret for years about staying too long. i no longer overstay my welcome. even if im madly, and i mean madly in love, i respect myself and my senses too much to stay . i know sometimes words dont have enough of an impact to change someones mind. you have to live it to know. but i just wanted to tell you, dont waste your time on anyone. its a precious thing you'll never get back ,no matter how much you regret it. and you WILL regret it. sometimes we like the idea of a person or how it COULD be if that person was this or that way. but its often just not the reality. and that person is NOT that way.
Addicted to attention!! My mama told me to keep going to school but I gave up because I was pregnant and having a family and married but I did soooooo much to get were I needed to be to become successful and she was very disappointed when I gave it up. It’s my fault and yes I am the villain in my story. Man or woman don’t give up!! Keep goin!!!
My ex literally texting me, telling me to show more effort and then he will do the same. No thanks. Im not wasting my time. I showed effort and when he showed me less, I stopped caring. Be someone elses problem
I’m so tired of this. Some people love themselves tremendously and still use dating apps. There’s nothing wrong with wanting COMPANIONSHIP. That doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself or you’re desperate and chasing love. It’s so annoying hearing that all the time. I get the dating pool is a sewer system, but it’s not all bad, it’s all about discernment and protecting yourself.
I beg so they go away i dont need nothing that attracts staying but beg they run its so much easier. Beg but know it is the key to chasing it away ! A great tool. Being desperate is the same. Let them see you being desperate. Because if you are planning on getting rid of them, it is so much safer than telling them to go away, they might fight you they might try to say. But they will just do what you want and comply with what they think they want 😂 if you are desperate. Use it as it is a blessing.
Same my advice is take vitamin supplement if you have racing thoughts like that build a better diet and dont quit your job for anyone even if your not getting paid very well its still better then living in the streets or accepting a broke guy into your home so he can build off you.
The women who speak here about their experiences and offer their wisdom are SO CORRECT! We women are taught as girls to be submissive to men, to be desperate to have a relationship and marriage. We attract all the wrong types of men out of stupid desperation instilled in us from a young age. Meanwhile, boys are taught to be self-sufficient, independent and to treat women like their property and their slaves. I should know. It was like that in my family. It was like that in my friend's families. It was like that in my community. It was like that in my church. TO HELL WITH ALL THAT BS! Thanks to the women's liberation movement of the 60s and 70s, I didn't by into all that BS but because I came from a very abusive family where all the men were jerks toward women, I still attracted the wrong men. My saving grace was that my mother secretly taught me to be self-sufficient, to get an education, a job, my own money and bank account. THAT did not bring into my life a good man who loved me and worked with me toward common goals but it did bring me independence. And I'm so thankful for that because, had I been a Trad woman, I would be living in abject poverty at this point in my life. Thankfully, because of my mother, I am now retired on a good pension for having worked for myself all my adult life.
I think we 've all been desperate at some point I was but,I realized you give men power by doing this,I think is more important to feel empowered and love yourself and the right one will come along
What’s so weird is when I hear a lot of women show up they show up giving you a man that says he want something and then when they take him at face value SHE is seen as desperate it’s so sad how showing up trusting and willing to love is seen as desperation instead of demonizing the 🤡 that’s playing mind games with her smh
The world is a cold place its better you learn this hard lesson sooner than later.You can’t be delusional and trusting of men thats just the way life goes.
1) I thought about commenting this on your last video but didn't, so I'll say it now. Your braids are cute as hell. 2) Thank you for the captions, really helpful so I didn't have to keep changing the volume between you and the featured videos. 3) This topic is absolutely dead on. I remember the one time I met someone but could feel that desperation in me. I knew it was going to radiate off of me despite really not wanting it to. But it did and that relationship was over before it started
I hate that I have to be apathetic towards a mayn to receive Queen treatment. Why can’t I put him on a pedestal and he puts me on a pedestal as well. Instead I have ignore him and treat him poorly for him to love me.
I'm 52 and looking for a casual relationship. I'm not getting married again, living together, or sharing finances with a woman ever again. I'm good on my own. 😂
My ex used me hard lmao. Honestly I deserved it. I wanted my fairytale ending so bad and it was so obvious. I didn’t want to let go because I was scared to be alone and I just wanted it to be him. I forced myself to walk away, I looked back the entire time but It was time to walk away. I was getting hurt real bad it wasn’t a good look.
Love should be a given.if u aren't getting love you are in the wrong lane.women usually avoid the guys who already luv them for a guy they are in luv with.luv isn't everyone's top priority. Be desperate for marriage not luv.luv is easy to say and easy to seemingly act out especially from a guy u already like.a.lot of this is about trying to control a man who a woman discovers she has no power or effect on and that makes her self doubt and not trust herself and this is why women should only deal with the men who do luv them.women make life hard on themselves by always dealing with the guy they like and luv instead of the guy they really likes and loves them.
I met my husband on a dating app and many of my happily married friends met their spouse on an app in their 30s. I don’t know where that commenter received their dating app stats but they sound inaccurate. Marriage isn’t everything but meeting a great partner is a possibility/option for everyone if they want it.
I understand what the girl is saying about the dating apps, but honestly, it is hard to meet people? Even if you love yourself, you might still want a partner? And yeah not to be that person but I have known people who met good people off of apps. I don't really think they are the problem, it's what you were doing on them with who you're meeting.
Oh, my god. No, you're not desperate if you use a dating app. Nearly a quarter of LGBTQ folks met their partners through an app, and most young people use them, too. We have GOT to stop making people feel bad for wanting a relationship and doing COMPLETELY NORMAL SH!T that people do when dating! This obsession with being alone is weird as hell!
Enjoyed the video as always. Are you using AI voice now? The voice doesn't match the lip movements. I really love seing you talk to us and not a voice over an old video. It feels a little dead to me... Thanks for ur work anyways:)
It’s my voice…. I originally recorded my comments on camera….. but Lo and behold the microphone didn’t record the audio so I had no choice but to do the voiceover. My next 2 videos will unfortunately be the same… sorry 😣
That’s why you give them nothing , don’t chase , don’t give them money, stand on business
I do things from my heart, any man I've dealt with has regretted it. They will reap what they've sowed. If you treat them well, they turn around and treat you wrong. Karma is coming for them. I can promise you that. You may not get to see it, but you can bet your bottom dollar. I am telling you I am a firm believer
@@SistahJay27 Agreed!
Ladies, you do NOT expire after the age of 30. I got married very young the first time, at 19. Divorced in my late 20s. I got married the second time at 56 years old. Love is so much sweeter the second time around.
Yeah I'm tired of that brainwashing ppl use to control women my age. The hatred society has towards older women is sick.
Plus I know plenty of older that got married after 30.
Love this for you!
Women just want what they give in a relationship. If they are not getting it, then they should leave and move on
I agree
And keep trying if that’s what you really want. Just because one doesn’t work doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself if you try again.
The only time I often had boys interested in me was my early 20s after I had lost 40lbs. They were all tools and wanted "nothing serious" so I moved on. I gained the weight back and "hit the wall" so I became invisible to most people again, but after that was when I finally found somebody who was actually interested in a real relationship. It only happened when I stopped worrying about finding somebody and just focused on myself until somebody found me.
As it should be
This is so sweet 🥰
Don't waiver. Don't be nobody's fool. Stand on principle Have Boundaries. Be Smart Stay Safe Ladies🙏🙏💜
That’s right!
What I've learned is once you implement your boundaries. They will discard themselves and they are trying to use you
Glad that I'm introverted and don't have this problem.
Same! I never have this I need a man problem. The problem I have is I meet a guy I like and want a man, not need a man. Sometimes the man will fake interest. Sometimes I'll get confused because the guy seems to like me, but doesn't make concrete plans. Jokes on him because I'm an introvert who loves my space and free time.
Same 🤣 I been gave up lol. And don’t care to be with a woman either but at least I would feel better about pleasing a woman.
Same
👀 Amen!!!... Same here
Same!😂
Or, men don't like women. Too many women don't get that.
This. We’ve been telling them for ages but they won’t listen and rather chase an illusion.
Yes I met a man who dont like women and I felt the impact much later I thank God for revelations
A few days ago, I ran into an old guy friend and texted him afterward to say it was nice seeing him and suggested we hang out sometime (looking back, I probably shouldn’t have reached out first or asked him to hang out). He took hours to reply with a casual, “Yeah nice seeing you too! Yeah we should hang.” Later, I followed up asking when, and he took even longer to respond. I eventually got tired of waiting and told him that I knew his slow responses weren’t because he was busy but because he’s not interested in me and neither am I. After that, I decided to block him and move on.
Don't ever do that again!
I feel like the smart thing to do is to avoid men and relationships altogether. There are so many rules of engagement, we're not allowed to get excited about prospects, not allowed to have any expectations, can't order whatever you want on a date, gotta keep your legs closed until marriage. WHAT'S THE POINT OF PARTICIPATING IN THIS??? WHEN DID DATING BECOME SO AWFUL? 😢
Totally agree. Would you play a table game of which you don't know all the rules? I won't. You won't enjoy it and won't be able to play it anyway. Same with dating
@wardiya3arbiya exactly!!! 💯💯💯
I'm a divorced single mother of one, and I STILL don't understand the rules of this game. I've been abstinent and stopped dating for over 5 years now, but every time I dip my toe in the dating pool, it's polluted af and I'm reminded why I choose to remain single. Very sad state of affairs.
I hate dating and thats why I don't want it in my life anymore because you can't be yourself and not get used taken advantage of etc
Just by the title alone…..this is accurate. Using is not limited to money and possessions, it can be using you for your attention, your time, your efforts, etc. if you don’t know how to set boundaries or have a sense of self you’ll be taken advantage of and walked all over. It’s a shame that we all weren’t taught to value yourself and respect yourself before we were conditioned to please others…family, friends, partner. It’s not being selfish, it’s balance.
My goodness, so much wisdom in this podcast, sis. Not one lie told. Seeking your identity, validation, worth and fulfillment through men is a losing game. Convincing women that marriage and childbearing is their magnum opus, the greatest thing they can achieve in life is a psyop perpetrated by patriarchy to keep women feeling inadequate and male centered. Thank God the programming is crashing, and women can reboot their lives on their own terms.
They discard you once they get what they want from you anyone.
It's okay to be desperate for marriage or love.
What's wrong is to be desperate with a man who cant provide you with those things like money, love, affection, stability and protection.
Instead of moving on from him to someone else, you stay and self-sacrifice only for him to take advantage of you.
If you're desperate for marriage and love, keep glossing through mxn who are not capable of it until you find the best candidate for you .
Dont settle for a bum.
When it comes to dating I always ask myself these questions before engaging with a man…
What season am I in?
“Am I in a season of loneliness?”
“Am I in a season of boredom?”
“Am I in a season of desperation?”
If I answer yes to any of those questions above… I remove myself from the dating scene and reevaluate what’s really happening within me.
Once you are fully comfortable with knowing what it means to be alone and tend to your own garden; it will be less likely for you to find yourself in compromising situations/ relationships. Just what I’ve learned over time.
Those are good questions. Thank you. I will use this method.
Me too I love this reflection !!
The girl at the end was PREACHINGGG
12:24 We all expire when we DIE! so while you are still alive live your life the way you want because at the end of the day you are only stuck with yourself and your life choices. Other people, they come and go and you'll stay only with you. Be smart and live for YOU only.
Give the love you need to yourself! Be your biggest supporter ❤
This, all day, every DAY!!!!!! ❤😊
❤❤❤❤❤
I'm not even on social media like that - no IG or Tiktok, or Snap, but I'm going to honest. I'm going to be honest. It's hard to move on when you find a man who you think is a good match. My dad wasn't present and left me to be raised by my mom who I think did the best she could as a single mother. While I think I have decent standards when it comes to men, I fold easily without in-depth considerations for my needs and my fulfillment in a relationship. It's so sad. There's only one man in this world who I've given this energy, and moving past it is hard. It's so embarrassing because I'm doing the work and have no tolerance for this behavior with any other men, but here I am. I hope this is the year I successfully move past it. Good luck to all of you going through it.
i dont know your full story ,i understand its very hard. i dont know if youve been into this position or not...but personally, after long years of doing my best to make something work and it got worse and worse. i realized "fixing /chasing" something never ends well. its always better to leave it early, instead of being in regret for years about staying too long. i no longer overstay my welcome. even if im madly, and i mean madly in love, i respect myself and my senses too much to stay .
i know sometimes words dont have enough of an impact to change someones mind. you have to live it to know. but i just wanted to tell you, dont waste your time on anyone. its a precious thing you'll never get back ,no matter how much you regret it. and you WILL regret it.
sometimes we like the idea of a person or how it COULD be if that person was this or that way. but its often just not the reality. and that person is NOT that way.
Addicted to attention!! My mama told me to keep going to school but I gave up because I was pregnant and having a family and married but I did soooooo much to get were I needed to be to become successful and she was very disappointed when I gave it up. It’s my fault and yes I am the villain in my story. Man or woman don’t give up!! Keep goin!!!
My ex literally texting me, telling me to show more effort and then he will do the same. No thanks. Im not wasting my time. I showed effort and when he showed me less, I stopped caring. Be someone elses problem
Exactly! You don’t need to be playing mind games
be👏🏼someone👏🏼elses👏🏼problem👏🏼
I’m so tired of this. Some people love themselves tremendously and still use dating apps. There’s nothing wrong with wanting COMPANIONSHIP. That doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself or you’re desperate and chasing love. It’s so annoying hearing that all the time. I get the dating pool is a sewer system, but it’s not all bad, it’s all about discernment and protecting yourself.
I beg so they go away i dont need nothing that attracts staying but beg they run its so much easier. Beg but know it is the key to chasing it away !
A great tool.
Being desperate is the same. Let them see you being desperate. Because if you are planning on getting rid of them, it is so much safer than telling them to go away, they might fight you they might try to say. But they will just do what you want and comply with what they think they want 😂 if you are desperate. Use it as it is a blessing.
True😅
Same my advice is take vitamin supplement if you have racing thoughts like that build a better diet and dont quit your job for anyone even if your not getting paid very well its still better then living in the streets or accepting a broke guy into your home so he can build off you.
Absolutely
The women who speak here about their experiences and offer their wisdom are SO CORRECT! We women are taught as girls to be submissive to men, to be desperate to have a relationship and marriage. We attract all the wrong types of men out of stupid desperation instilled in us from a young age. Meanwhile, boys are taught to be self-sufficient, independent and to treat women like their property and their slaves. I should know. It was like that in my family. It was like that in my friend's families. It was like that in my community. It was like that in my church. TO HELL WITH ALL THAT BS! Thanks to the women's liberation movement of the 60s and 70s, I didn't by into all that BS but because I came from a very abusive family where all the men were jerks toward women, I still attracted the wrong men. My saving grace was that my mother secretly taught me to be self-sufficient, to get an education, a job, my own money and bank account. THAT did not bring into my life a good man who loved me and worked with me toward common goals but it did bring me independence. And I'm so thankful for that because, had I been a Trad woman, I would be living in abject poverty at this point in my life. Thankfully, because of my mother, I am now retired on a good pension for having worked for myself all my adult life.
❤❤❤
I think we 've all been desperate at some point I was but,I realized you give men power by doing this,I think is more important to feel empowered and love yourself and the right one will come along
What’s so weird is when I hear a lot of women show up they show up giving you a man that says he want something and then when they take him at face value SHE is seen as desperate it’s so sad how showing up trusting and willing to love is seen as desperation instead of demonizing the 🤡 that’s playing mind games with her smh
This is why so many woman are turned off from dating.
The world is a cold place its better you learn this hard lesson sooner than later.You can’t be delusional and trusting of men thats just the way life goes.
1) I thought about commenting this on your last video but didn't, so I'll say it now. Your braids are cute as hell. 2) Thank you for the captions, really helpful so I didn't have to keep changing the volume between you and the featured videos. 3) This topic is absolutely dead on. I remember the one time I met someone but could feel that desperation in me. I knew it was going to radiate off of me despite really not wanting it to. But it did and that relationship was over before it started
Fall in love with God first.. We can't love ourselves good enough anyway
video came at perfect timing for me!
I hate that I have to be apathetic towards a mayn to receive Queen treatment. Why can’t I put him on a pedestal and he puts me on a pedestal as well. Instead I have ignore him and treat him poorly for him to love me.
This same tradition exists and will always exist in Italy.. has been that way for centuries, will always be that way in some cultures
No lies told❤
I'm 52 and looking for a casual relationship. I'm not getting married again, living together, or sharing finances with a woman ever again. I'm good on my own. 😂
Yeeeessss 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Especially the young lady at 28:17,... a whole word 🔥🔥🔥
My ex used me hard lmao. Honestly I deserved it. I wanted my fairytale ending so bad and it was so obvious. I didn’t want to let go because I was scared to be alone and I just wanted it to be him. I forced myself to walk away, I looked back the entire time but It was time to walk away. I was getting hurt real bad it wasn’t a good look.
Love should be a given.if u aren't getting love you are in the wrong lane.women usually avoid the guys who already luv them for a guy they are in luv with.luv isn't everyone's top priority.
Be desperate for marriage not luv.luv is easy to say and easy to seemingly act out especially from a guy u already like.a.lot of this is about trying to control a man who a woman discovers she has no power or effect on and that makes her self doubt and not trust herself and this is why women should only deal with the men who do luv them.women make life hard on themselves by always dealing with the guy they like and luv instead of the guy they really likes and loves them.
3:33 and I OOP!
Look into anxious attachment styles.
I met my husband on a dating app and many of my happily married friends met their spouse on an app in their 30s. I don’t know where that commenter received their dating app stats but they sound inaccurate. Marriage isn’t everything but meeting a great partner is a possibility/option for everyone if they want it.
I've only found abusive men but it could be the area I'm in. I might try again once I move to a wealthy community
@@ashleykathryn9038lmao. Men on dating apps are not it. The commenter is exception to the rule. Wealthy men can be worse as well. Join a class instead
Put God first and allow him to guide you. Never started relationship in fornication.
I understand what the girl is saying about the dating apps, but honestly, it is hard to meet people? Even if you love yourself, you might still want a partner? And yeah not to be that person but I have known people who met good people off of apps. I don't really think they are the problem, it's what you were doing on them with who you're meeting.
Oh, my god. No, you're not desperate if you use a dating app. Nearly a quarter of LGBTQ folks met their partners through an app, and most young people use them, too. We have GOT to stop making people feel bad for wanting a relationship and doing COMPLETELY NORMAL SH!T that people do when dating! This obsession with being alone is weird as hell!
Honey, the one that resembles Missy Elliott is right on code!!!
1:40, I doubt she had no choice and was literally forced to look in the mirror. She doesn't mention being coerced.
Enjoyed the video as always.
Are you using AI voice now? The voice doesn't match the lip movements.
I really love seing you talk to us and not a voice over an old video. It feels a little dead to me...
Thanks for ur work anyways:)
It’s my voice…. I originally recorded my comments on camera….. but Lo and behold the microphone didn’t record the audio so I had no choice but to do the voiceover. My next 2 videos will unfortunately be the same… sorry 😣
@@lifewithmelonieThank you for explaining!
Then of course I never said anything;)
@@jojoserena I found it akward also. I was going to click off. Glad you asked. Thank you.