STOP CHASING & Enter Your Bad B*tch Era In 70 Minutes Instead! | Sabrina Zohar
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- Опубліковано 18 тра 2024
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Today we're shedding light on a rampant issue - the overflowing, toxic dating advice online. In a sea of 950 million search results on relationship advice, almost 99.9% of it is misleading and might be holding you back from the love and romance you're looking for.
If you're tired of chasing men who simply aren't serious and ready to step into your Bad B*tch Era, we’ve got you covered! No more watered-down versions of yourself, and no more tip-toeing around what you really want in a relationship.
My guest is none other than the dynamic Sabrina Zohar - a dating expert and relationship hero who's been there, done that, and broken the cycle. She's debunking the overused, underwhelming dating tips that are great for online quotes but terrible for your love life.
Before you strut your stuff in those "bad bitch" boots, you need to get crystal clear on what you want and how you want it, and that’s what we’re about to get into!
Chapter Markers:
[00:00] Introduction to Toxic Advice ⚡
[09:36] Bumper Sticker Love Tips 🚘
[18:32] No-Text Trigger Healing 🤳
[25:29] First Date Romance 💋
[31:32] Put Out Situationship Fire ❤️🔥
[39:42] Are You The Red Flag? 😜
[48:57] Not Everyone Is Ghosting You 👻
[56:48] Change Your Dating Style 💅
[1:03:27] When You Can’t Avoid Triggers 🫠
Power Insights from Sabrina Zohar:
“If you’re dating somebody and who you are isn’t working for them, consider this a blessing and walk the f*ck away.”
“The pinch doesn’t match the ouch.”
“A girl knows she wants to date but not if she wants to f*ck you. A guy knows if he wants to f*ck you but not if he wants to date you.”
‘I didn’t ask for the anxious attachment style, but I’ll sure as f*ck heal through it.”
“A trigger is my problem, not yours.”
“Meet yourself with compassion or meet yourself with blame. You get to choose.”
Follow Sabrina Zohar:
TikTok: / sabrina.zohar
Instagram: / sabrina.zohar
UA-cam: / @sabrina.zohar .
Follow Me Lisa Bilyeu:
Website: www.radicalconfidence.com/
Instagram: / lisabilyeu
Facebook: / lisabilyeu
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WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
Thank you Lisa 😊 💓 🎉
Lmmfao.....too true
@LisaBilyeu can You ask Tom if he can have Dinah Jane on his show as well. Thank you for supporting Dinah and having her.
I’m a Big personality too!!! 😂😂. I hear you girl
2:30 💜 permission granted!
My heart is so ready for relationship, but my childhood trauma is not 🙄
I hear you. I hope you’re working on healing so you can take your power back.❤
I hear you, now rewind, look yourself in the mirror and press record: “I am enough and I embrace my childhood trauma because I’m ready for a relationship.”
You deserve all the good life has to offer.
Peace and love on your journey. ❤
Yo, this struck a nerve… So relatable
😂love this comment
Best comment ever
He was ignoring my calls and texts intermittently. I got tired of it and Blocked him. I’m not chasing nobody! He’s a Coward and Disrespectful! Why would I continue to support that behavior because he always comes back when he’s ready! Well I’m not ready indefinitely ! So BLOCK AND GOOD RIDDANCE!
I find that matching his effort, not his energy, works pretty well. If I just responded to a deep conversation we were having and he doesn't respond back for a while, I don't keep trying to continue the conversation until he replies back. If he never replies back, that's an answer, and I don't have to feel bad about walking away. I can be secure enough with myself that it was a nice experience to open up with someone and connect vulnerably without being attached to the outcome. If he does reply back, with effort to what I said, then I know he's still interested in connecting. But I don't have to prioritize my response back knowing he hasn't been prioritizing his. I'm not trying to play a game (and I hope this isn't one), and I want to be respectful and understanding of his busy life, but matching effort feels right.
I agree with you
Damnn sooo rightly said.
Stop texting 💬 paragraphs is the answer
Yesssss
thank you for this!
The only part I disagree with is that hookup culture is at all healthy, it's pretty damaging. I had one hookup turn into a stalker that lasted years. Please be careful ladies.
Agreed. Hook up culture is extremely dangerous on a multitude of levels from stalking, to diseases, including STI's... it is NOT worth it.
i do agree. and also everytime you hook up and give your body to somebody its damaging your soul. your energy is shared to so many people and will left you souless.. you will feel empty..
@@risdaaprilia7021I wish more people knew this because it's more important than they realize!!
❤
“Stop waiting for his text” - time to block him.
Yes block Him prevents that he back only for ego
Awareness is the first step but changed behavior is actual growth 🌶️
"Choose something ... do something every day for yourself." ❤
Exactly ❤
Now I don’t care if they abandon me and I’m like whatever. I am so healed. 😂😂. I got this now!
You have a point
Riiight 💯💯💯
It’s funny when they go. You can’t bring up your act. You can’t compare me to your ex and I’m like how am I pissed to not repeat the past I expect you to compare me to your ex cause I’m sure you don’t want your ex do you?😂😂🤦♀️🤦♀️. Wow double wow
Somebody comes to me and says that I’m the one they just know and they got butterflies and God told them in the first few minutes. I’m quite concerned because there’s nothing wrong with saying all this person beautiful whatever but that’s not what is it about my ex-husband did the same thing and he left me because he said he didn’t like who I was like the inside in the outside guess what the outside is gonna deteriorate !!!!
The same guy gaslit me by telling me. I don’t think you’re ready for a relationship. I’m like OK therapist but last time I checked, I hired a therapist to help me with dating and she told me to date you.😂😂. I think we should see the therapist about what I did.😂 is Mr. GQ too good to be true right by saying I shouldn’t bring up my ex-husband last time. I brought my ex-husband. There was like a little argument. I’m like there’s two arguments. We made it to the f… date and you got to be kidding me! This feels exactully like my last just wrapped up in a prettier package. My ex didn’t have any money at all. A big reason I avoid these guys. I think they’re better off with the sugar babies. There of the ones that tell them exactly what they wanna hear and they’re perfect for them and they perform all kinds of tricks for money but it’s a shallow relationship go get that I’m far from shallow. I’m real and I’m gonna tell the truth.! 🙏🥂
Accepting yourself is 100% the key
I have anxious attachment style relationship the more I listens to other podcasts the more I get depressed, when listened to this lady Zohar I understand myself more. I love this lady so much I feel set free.
So if they don’t text that freaks you out? I do that with my kids and drive them nuts!!! In realionships I’m like they are busy. My poor kids
From what she said…You just need more activities. Go have fun and find yourself
I feel you so much! I'm going to start changing!
She is the only one that makes sense and helps you reach your authentic self which is where you need to be!
20.50 The 3 steps：super profound
1. What was my trigger? What disregulated you?
2. Feel the physical sensation in your body for 90 seconds, identify what the sensations are. Focus on the feelings.
3. What is the narrative? Do you have the facts to support this narrative, what are contrary? Try to reframe it. When did you feel it for the first time? Don’t self-abandon. Be there for yourself when it’s uneasy, discomfort.
Don’t project your past to the other person you are seeing
Thank you
❤
Great wisdom. I'm 66 and widowed and started dating. Knowing this information is priceless. I'm much calmer and empowered and at peace. Thanks young ladies! You're awesome. 😊
@bonniejones79..dont forget condoms...avoid stds get tested
More seniors r getting stds cuz of dating in these years. Be careful...get vaccinated against .etc..guardisil.....
Wow ! You're brave. I'm done with dating..at 45
...it's no longer worth it.
Open, trusted, shared with each others digital devices, I have nothing to hide, how many women are uncomfortable sharing because they are concealing digital deception ?
I'm 62 and out of a relationship for 7 yrs. Thanks to this advice, I know how to ask questions but also how to answer them. It was a struggle, but worth the experience journey. Thanks ❤
trust your womanly instinct ladies. Keep safe while dating, no matter the age, meaning:
1. Tell family and friends close to you where you are going, who you are with and his car rego.
2. Get yourself to the date and back yourself.
3. Don't unload all your trauma, negative experiences from family and friends and exes. They can use that against you.
You are valuable and deserve to be treated well. You're saftey comes first Queens 👑
I dont know who this woman is, but shes VERY intelligent and real. What she’s saying is 100% legit
Yes!! I wish I'd heard this this time last year, which would have helped me with a situation I've allowed myself to be in.
I've bought dating advice from men (online).
Listening to the woman and with the help of a therapist and I'm going to brave up this weekend and ask what the hell it is he wants from me and I'm going to tell him what I want .
I am currently in this process, she is exactly right, walk away from people who criticize, want you to be different, those are most likely narcs, abusers,etc. I don’t care who doesn’t like me, I appreciate those who do!
You mentioned that we are afraid to feel the uncomfortable feelings because it reminds us of the most painful experience we’ve ever had. 100%
oMG!!!! That is absolutely true. thats why i dont like to be single and afraid to be with myself because it reminds me during my childhood im all alone at home and i hate it. i hate to be alone
The point she made about not asking certain questions because we don’t want to answer them is very true for me. I don’t ask because I don’t want to have to answer them myself 😩
I left my marriage not because I didn’t love/d my partner. He’s very narcissistic and always blamed others. When I broke up he said to me that I’m the one breaking up and what he’s doing on dating apps 2-3 Days after our break up is non of my concern because I was the one breaking it. Throughout the whole relationship he lacked understanding and empathy Communication about my feelings never been important and always blamed back to me. That at the End he said he regretted me because I never respected him as a man while I put up to his bs for years. Started my own career after staying home with kids for 8 years and now I’m the bad one, just like all the other exes !!! This break up been very very hard I saw how much I need to heal…I wasn’t the perfect one either but emotional and physical neglect hurt her very much. You are married but still alone…that’s not a life I’m 26
I understand. 24 years off, and on with my narcissist . They'll find another victim. Have pitty for the next one.
Be sure to heal b4 dating again. For me it took 5 years. Otherwise you' ll attract theSAME
I'm there, too, in my 40s. He's the one who's never going to learn a thing. Be glad you are capable of it. Find a support group for trauma and/or domestic violence, online if you have to. It can help a LOT to get feedback from people who have been there, for sure. ❤
I don't like texting either, unless you reach out I won't either, and I'm completely fine
44:58 So true I've had a lot of men get upset because I don't text back fast enough. I'm a FT worker, single mom of 3. Sir, you're not my current priority. Accept that I'm busy & I'll respond back once I slow down for the day. It's a major turn off rather than them simply asking my next availability for a lunch date, etc.
Digging DEEP with my therapist, breathwork and ending with visualization and meditation, self forgiveness has helped me finally allow myself to succeed and accept and love myself. I’m 52, raised 3 daughters on my own, completed nursing school, and overcame addiction & an abusive childhood of sexual abuse & a mom that hides from everything. NOW I love the bad ass I’ve become- I’m strong and deeply loving & emotional. If a man I meet doesn’t like that- NEXT! ❤ Thank you for your content Lisa!
Less than 2 minutes in and I have total respect for this woman. I like her and totally agree with her. I think these fake ass apps are building a very rocky foundation for decades to come.
This information is coming out so fast... I put the speed on 0.75x and it is perfect! 🙌
Thanks for the tip! 💪🏼
Omg this is absolute GOLD. I wish I watched it before I made the decision to stop seeing someone I really liked. Things I could’ve said if I wasn’t operating out of fear / anxiety. I wish I had said, “I really like you and developed feelings over time.” Initially I wasn’t too interested nor did I feel a “spark.” As a result, I couldn’t be myself around him because I had my guard up and I held back. I wish I would have been more open and let my walls down and allowed him to get to know the real me. Instead, that wall drove him away as a result he didn’t put in the effort I desired. Oh well, a learning lesson and I will def need to work on myself and my growth. Tbh we barely dated but I feel kind of heart broken that I let that go 😭.
Don't beat yourself up. You'll have plenty of times to practice this tactic.
I do that too. I just found out I have a fearful avoidant attachement style so now Im learning about it to become more aware of how it manifests. I took 2 tests online so I suggest you do that. One is on Personal developemnt schoool website which is also a youtube channel here.
Really eye opening.
View it as your heart opening 💕
dont give up, and explain dont ignore the feeling tell him the feeling.
Yes!!! This is me. At first he showed lots of interest, and I wasn't too sure about him. Then as time went on, the more I found out about him, the more I began to like about him.
I was afraid of showing my true self in case he didn't like me. There were many things I wanted to say and didn't.
We weren't in a relationship where we were dating, it was an online and phone relationship. We met up several times.
Then he told me he'd met someone and I was heartbroken and hurt.
A could of weeks ago he contacted me, I braved up and asked about the other woman, he said they'd seen each other for a couple of weeks.
I am now going to be brave this weekend and ask what it is he wants from me and why he actually contacted me, as he hasn't replied to a few of my messages. I'm not going to put up with being messed around any longer!
This is mic drop, mind blowing. Helping me reframe sooo much. Things I've felt deep down......validation.
I absolutely hate when men have text conversations. I keep it super short and then I just stop responding
I love this because saying no to a partner is like a punch in the gut for them and it has ruined relationships for me because they expect a yes all the time.
Absolutely love how she spoke about this topic
I haven’t checked in with myself with how I’m feeling, when someone does something that I find painful.
I love that I don’t relate to any of this anymore. I’ve done so much work to heal my trauma and lack of self worth. It’s soooo possible!
Hey, could you guide how you did it?
So, in defence of younger folks: I’m 23, and I’ve spent the past 5 years working on myself, on all the childhood trauma, cellular memory, family karma, perspective on relationships... I’ve done lots of different types of healing sessions from psychotherapy, hypnosis, coaching, family constellations, numerology, tarot reading, you name it. I do think people from my generation (aka gen Z) are more open to therapy and to understand where our behaviour comes from. I’m not saying we have it figured out, but we do are opening ourselves to make things differently from an earlier age :)
Thats epic, I'm gen X, 44, I did it all in my 30s & obviously still check in & stay interested in this kind of self work & learning. I think it's amazing what you've done, I only hope my teens are as healthy & I've done a good job & all this pain & self work has been worth it & I've broken the cycle.
All the very best to you going forward, never forget to never accept less than YOU deserve, dont settle.. 🥰
Good job you started so early
I admire several things about gen z, actually, and a lot of them come down to their open minds. I feel like my generation (x) has been transitional in some ways, maybe not enough to benefit ourselves all the time, but I hope we leave something better emotionally than we got. ❤
Gen Z just have access to more information at a earlier age
Gen Z is the best!!! I have 3 children that are gen z and their emotional intelligence blows me away!! I have hope for the future of this planet because I know the souls coming in are so evolved! Thank you for doing your part to do ‘the work’. As someone who has also spent over the last five years healing, I know it’s not always easy. 😘🥰
I will always be straight, genuine, transparent, and real and loving if that's not what someone else wants they're not right for me. Thank you so much. This is how I've been feeling.
I agree fully with the woman's opening advice about the anxious attachment if you try and become what you feel the other partner needs like if they didn't like it when their expartner didn't talk about their feelings and shut them out and your naturally a private person - then you'd be abandoning your true self to meet their needs when a simple conversation could be had where it is communicated that you don't talk about your feelings because you deal with yours differently but if you don't do that and have that conversation you are altering your personality for another person.
I was actually thinking about the relationship between me and my husband recently but here's the thing, I don't feel self conscious around him like I have to live my life by rules. For example not to swear just because he wants a lady like woman, or to pretend to be okay when things are bothering me because he doesn't want drama - you know things like that - I'm literally my full self around him and I feel comfortable. I don't feel shamed, or embarrassed or like I should have tried to gain his favour - we bicker over things we disagree with. It's healthier to argue in a relationship because people who really don't there's a problem because I don't work to appease him and therefore I'm not stressed with that burden of needing to be self conscious over what I say, how I say what I say (I am that way with my parents but that's just how the dynamic is between us) but because I'm not that way with my husband I'm happier and healthier because I'm not in an anxious state of needing to please him and because the anxiety isn't there mentally I'm free. I don't have to think I have to meet all of his needs for him to like me but if I know he appreciates it when I run a bath for him using my bath bombs I'll do it because I want to make him feel like I care for him..
What does saying "NO" ~MEAN
This was such a good episode! I know I've come a long way since my abusive LTR, 5 yrs of singledom & entering a new healthy relationship. It was nice to hear confirmation that I have been on the right tracks, but also how I can improve in areas where I've felt confused or unsure moving forward.
💗🤘💋
This is pure gold. Thanks you for explaining this so well. ❤
I love this so much. I keep a baby picture of me, at 1yr old, beside my bed. It’s one of my favorite photos in life because of my sweet face and expression. I tell little baby me that I love her and she’s safe when I feel like garbage juice. I really do imagine a lil baby me on my hip and it humbles me real quick. Instant softee. 💘✨
Love the section on the first date romance. Sooooo insightful
Both my parents were narcissists. So growing up with this type of parents was molding ourselves into a life of selfless service to everyone who needs help. And still feeling like not doing anything special.
Thank you for also stating that this shit IS GOING TO COME UP in relationship. Ive had ppl tell me how much work theyve done alone and that they are solid and ive watched them crumble in relationship.
Balance. Balance is what it's about.
I needed this video. I realize the more i heak the less tolerant I am of bad behavior and I take inconsistencies as a no and not take it personally
I really needed this. I came across this by accident. It is a sign that I need to be more patient and not self sabotage and loose the best man ever.
I'm excited to finding this channel. I have been dating, and I don't have time for the games that so many people recommend. Boundaries, healthy attachment, yes, but I'm not chasing and not maintaining interest in people who aren't good for me.
This is the FIRST time I don’t have to play a video xfaster and actually slower.
Thaaaaank you! Sabrina talks so fast!
@@OTF-nv1bwshe does
This has been the best podcast in years! Sabrina killed it Lisa I am so grateful for your platform and what you do for us ladies! This was the reminder and validation I needed!!!!
Thank you for your authenticity!
I'm not even 10mins in, and this is so damn good and spot on! I love how real this woman is! Speaking the truth!
So real
My experience if a guy really is interested he would text next day and show consistent pursuing behaviors in planning for dates. Good advice for not taking rejection personally. Thank you.
This session is healing... thank you.
Oh. My. Gosh. This is literally the moment for me this week. Wowwwww
Omg...this is one of the REALEST podcasts I've heard. It's exactly what I needed, in this phase of my personal journey!!!🎉
Well im not a native speaker but I love how sabrina talks , lol talking too fast and making the point is really a super power
I agree with the mirroring is fabulous! Being the one who chases as a women is devaluing yourself I’ve done it. It’s like the natural process was reversed. Not right. Wonderfully honest podcast /interview xx
Did that in my marriage and never again! I don’t even get excited anymore. Dating is strange. I’m like sure now let us
See how long this last. 😂😂. I just have fun with it and don’t sleep with them or kiss them. Not holding my breath
I agree, i have to let the man come towards me and if they don't, i don't chase them. It's not the man for me then. It's just human biology I'll never chase a man again...
What ever words goes out will come back .. becareful of what you said...
THE best podcast I've seen. Thank you for helping me take accountability 👏
Absolutely love this I needed this video this morning ❤
i dont need playback speed 1.5 times, sabrina zohar talk already so fast. but i always love her! seems like she is my sister and always telling me the truth about real life dating. i know its not fake because its from her experience.
i literally follow her anywhere
Slept with mine 1st date nd 10 yrs later still here, but I think the common pattern is I didn't think or was not looking for anything serious or I probably would of held off and acted like a princess 😂
I enjoyed this and loved hearing her self reflection and then how it's best to handle situations 🎉❤
This was so good!
This was wonderful. Thank you ❤
Whoa!! Amazing discussion!! 🤯🔥❤️
This woman is phenomenal! I feel so much better after watching this video. I have been feeling more confident in my current mindset and life and this confirmed everything for me. Thank you
Holy shit I could not agree with the intro more. I always thought the dating advice like that is so manipulative and I never understood how it would get me a relationship I actually wanted. Being authentic is absolutely key. That’s why dating is such a nightmare these days, no one is who they are, they’re all playing games. So over it. Excited to listen to the rest of this.
Thank you so much I really needed to hear it!!
Two of the most powerful women talking I’ve heard to date … so informative. I never wanted you both to stop talking ❤ thank you 😘
“If you are not having the conversation bc is detrimental, imagine if you don’t “!!!! Yay
Yes!!! I wish I'd heard this late last year when I wanted to ask someone about what was happening between us. I am doing that this weekend.
Love this conversation-so real thank you 🙏
This came at a perfect time. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. ❤
This is such a good episode! Thank you so much! ❤ I love that I'm able to see and u derstand more about myself and others
AMEN! You go girl! 100 percent correct! I love her!
This is really good getting a lot of insight from this interview
I love Lisa’s responses😊
This is so good.
This was such a great episode! Thank you both for the lovely ideas
Yes the emotional attachment to relationships is the best explanation I have heard ever. It is because we are insecure not the relationship. If he is angry and never happy with you it is his problem not yours. I would rather this lady did not use the f word though. We can discuss this without the angry f word.
Lisa, your facial reactions are adorable and funny. So much enthusiasm. ❤
Thank you Lisa for this video. ❤
Such a fantastic conversation. Still a work in progress for me. Thank you
This is the best interview so far!! 😎 Eye-opening, really ❤️ Keep talking this fast, love it!! 🌸🌷💐
Absolutely loved this interview. Thank you both so much! 👌🫶👸
This by far was the most riveting interview I have seen with you. I can so relate to Sabrina and she gives me hope for healing even though I'm still on my forever journey. Oh my so much relatable to her and the examples are so wonderful. Just beyond an awesome episode.
This is gold. Thank you ❤
Oh my goodness… I so needed this! Thank you!🙏
Love this! Great wisdom
This was a damn great convo! Such authentic insight, thank you both!🙏🏽
Sabrina is excellent and gave me peace of mind with her explanations - brilliant.
I fell in love with this episode, thank you
This was so good! Sabrina your perspective is so needed - especially the probing questions. Thanks.
If he wanted to he would is actually true to the core. The speaker bf/husband doesn’t want to text her nor change his behavior for her. If he wanted to he would.
The same applies for every little thing people show us.
Absolutely amazing ive learnt so much thank you😊
Gosh that part where you talked about your “little me”… really got me 😭
this interview is so wholesome 🫶🏼 thank you so much for sharing this ❤ greetings from Germany! 🥰
I definitely needed to hear this
Great Video! Very Informative!
I loved this one!!!!!! Thanks for enlightening ❤❤❤
Great insight! She speaks very fast.
omg, this is sooooo useful!
There’s a great book. Never Chase Men Again is the title. Every woman should read this. It’s also on audible.❤❤❤