I finally found the episode based on his chorus (refrain). I forgot the title, but it was a Next Generation episode where the Enterprise was trying to destroy a rogue asteroid and the core was made of such solid metal that they said their weapons wouldn't work and they couldn't get a tractor beam lock. So Picard suggested that they bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish 😆.
The Lair of Voltaire I don't like being followed and that's why they did not boldly go where no one had gone because no one was the only one who could do it with nobody's help
So check this out. In the game Star Trek Online, there's an ability called "Gravity Well". It's enhanced by one's Graviton Emitter rating, Particle Generator rating, and it's shot out as a beam from the ship's deflector dish. In other words, you bounce a Graviton-Particle Beam off the main deflector dish, IE: "MAKE SHIT UP"! I wonder if this is a coincidence, or a nod by the game devs to this song?
Honestly? By Trek's technobabble standards, that example is surprisingly internally consistent and makes a decent amount of sense. Improving your ability with high-energy exotic particles like gravitons to improve a powerful gravitic effect? Yeah that actually flows pretty well. And has the virtue of not being made up on the spot to solve a plot problem, and is instead just a consistent ability.
+EmperorSteele they actually did it in the show several times, gravaton particle beam defector dish bouncing that is. and making shit up but that's more than several
@@RAFMnBgaming The one I remember was bouncing a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish to lower the local gravitational constant because they couldn't just lower the gravitational constant of the universe as Q had originally suggested. I think they were trying to tractor beam a moon back into orbit, but it's been a long time. What else was that technobabble used for?
I first heard this song having not seen any Star Trek and it kind of inspired me to watch. I have listened to this song again after watching each show and it just keeps getting better and better. Sisko and 7 meant nothing to me before but now I get it. Most recently I finished enterprise and T'Pol being a nervous wreck finally got me. Now I want a new version including the new shows.
I think the best thing about Trek is it doesn't take itself too seriously. We just embrace the weird and make fun of it while loving the absolute hell out of it. So a song like this is essentially official canon to the fandom. Right after the Ballad of Bilbo Bagins of course.
I don't know how but you got the entire point of this song across without ever having to actually say the phrase 'deus ex machina' and for that, and many other things my dear Villy Bats - I adore you XD
"the timeline has been crushed, so someone tell me why I love this film so fucking much?" OMG yes! I loved the original series and even with all the nonsensical plot holes I loved the movies and I have no idea why XD
They somehow managed to capture the spirit and feel of Star Trek, but with the craziness of a legit hollywood blockbuster budget and look. And altering the time line may have been the single smartest thing ever done on Trek... now they can do whatever the fuck they want. :D
The first time I heard this song it only had the first four verses. The first time I heard the last two was this past Christmas when I played this for my mom. Soon as they said that line "...someone tell me why I love this film so fucking much" she yelled out "THAT'S WHAT I SAID." She grew up on TOS and relatively recently went through all of Next Gen, DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise. The other two parts that had her lol'ing were "leather pants, frizzy hair, and lobsters on their heads," and "it was way back in the 60s when they called it Lost in Space." Cause she watched and loved that show as well.
This song was running through my head at a DECA competition. I had ten minutes to put together a good promotional plan so this was incredibly relevant as I had to throw it together from next to nothing. D:
I'll be honest, this is way better than the original version from "Banned on Vulcan", however, I can't discount the original, since it introduced me to Voltaire (that and The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy).
I'm 64. I emailed Aurelio a couple years ago and complimented his music. He was extremely gracious and appreciative. I LOVE THIS ONE. It TOTALLY sums up what has happened to the TOS concept. I need to send him some money.
Yeah, I saw it in the theater and laughed my ass off at that ending. Though I WILL say: Watching the warp trail dissipate in IMAX 3D was pretty fuckin' cool.
Anyone else noticed in Star Trek every ship is basically a glass cannon get shot once and basically SOL every time I see the ships there's always something wrong with them and they're going to explode like 10 minutes but in the last second as the song says they put up their ass to fix the problem
Yes, even after the Breen used their drain weapon and its shields were gone it could still take a few dozen direct hits. The Valiant (Defiant class) was the same, but they took on a Dominion super battle cruiser (I forget its name) single handed and it survived long enough to launch several escape pods, but only one survived. And in First Contact (1996) the Borg ripped it up, but it was salvageable...tough little ship. Worf: LITTLE?!?!😆
According to Roddenberry's memoirs, it's inspired by submarine warfare: you don't really have submarine dogfights, because a solid torpedo hit or two basically sinks one. Definitely ups the stakes and makes out-thinking your opponent more important than just overpowering them with brute force.
Lyrics: Well, I was stranded on a planet, just me and Spock We met a nasty Nazi alien, he locked our asses up We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head! Well, I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me His eyes were full of tears, he said, "Captain, can't you see? The ship is gonna blow, do something, I beseech!" I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach And I said, Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up I know he's just a child, and most think him a twit But Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space Just tell him: "shut up, Wesley," if he gets in your face And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knees And I said Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space The wormhole opened up and now they come from near and far We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-hadar And what is with the Klingons? Remember, in the day, They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lamé Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads And I said Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans, they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door When suddenly it dawned on me I've seen this show before Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble slightly out of phase 'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space" We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits And I said Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we'll just make some shit up Well then they got a new show And it's called Enterprise And it takes place a hundred years Before Kirk was alive They say that it's a prequel Or so that's what it's called It's such a bad idea you'd swear that Lucas was involved They have a Vulcan female But she's a nervous wreck Her ass is sweet as Seven's only green So what the heck They're in the past but Klingons have those lobsters on their heads I'm more confused than Wesley Crusher nude in Tasha's bed And I say Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up [Bonus verse] Well it would seem a big wig up at Paramount Must have felt the franchise was stale by all accounts Cause he hired J. J. Abrams to give the thing a shove I feared that he would mock and mangle everything I love Well I went to the movie and there much to my shock There were hunky models playing Kirk and Spock Vulcan's been destroyed and the timeline has been crushed So someone tell me why I love this film so fucking much And I said Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us 'Cause if we find we're in a bind - we're totally screwed but never mind - We'll pull something out of our behinds What does God need with a starship? We just make some shit up
@@sadiewinterlord6908 Well each verse is separated in to each series of the franchise first 2 is TOS/Kirk era Next 2 is The Next Generation/Picard. 3rd is Deep Space Nine/Joking about Klingons changing from TOS 4th Is Voyager 5th is Enterprise (A horrible prequel series) And the bonus is based on Star Trek 09, the film made by J.J Abrahms
This song came to mind at county fair a bit. Every year a new form of chaos, though nothing can match putting the pirates next to the dog barn, and nothing matches the terror between “loose bull!” and the bull being herded into the horse corral to be recollected
OK enterprise is not that bad rewatch it and you’ll be pleasantly surprised The first season is a bit rough going but But once you get past it quite good.
Don't take my silly songs too seriously. Lol! . I was a huge fan of Enterprise and was actually really upset when they canceled it because it was just starting to get really good! But that doesn't make for a very funny song. 🤪
@@TheLairofVoltaire Oh I know you’re just using it as a device to make your song much more entertaining, i’m just saying to the fans who watched it when it first came out and They thought it was shit and never gave it another chance it’s not a perfect show but it’s a great show and I was pissed when it was canceled to even though I was two when it came out.
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if this turned out to be the equivalent of an old Federation sea chantey/ bar song on Lower Decks that the senior officers don't know about because it would be banned immediately if they ever hear it.
I was thinking earlier about this song and it occurred to me that it's ridiculous to think that Kirk could stop a warp core breach with a tribble and some chewing gum. That's Scotty's specialty. He wouldn't even need both.
Jokes on us for complaining about Deus-Ex-Deflector-Dishes all the time. I went over most stuff they improvise around the deflector (i have too much spare time, i know), and except for TOS, most of the instances are internally consistent. First you have to understand that modularity and room to improvise with most systems is one of the biggest upside on human ships. On most other factions ships you couldn't even change the deuterium intermix without disabling about a million security protocols (look at obriens troubles early in DS9) And then you have to understand that the main deflector array is a ginormous energy projection system. It's usual function is to maintain a zero-matter corridor in front of the ship ('deflecting' dust and small asteroids so they don't sieve your ship at high impulse and especially relativistic speeds.) by emitting a strongly charged field in front and around of the ship. It's also integral in projecting an amount of the warp energy to the front to act as the weaker pole of a forming warp bubble. So in laymens terms, in it's day-to-day operations, it's already a system to bundle, project and refocus absolutely phantastical amounts of energy. And, you may laugh, but the field actually _is_ mostly made up of charged graviton particles to achieve the deflection effect. With the added benefit of 'quickly' convertable redundancies (sometimes tripple redundancies) that you can misuse for other purposes without compromising the ships functions. Federation ships are basically set up so that you can reroute about anything anywhere to the ship. They also have industrial replicators tied in to the loop to quickly manufacture large amounts of base elements and reactants. Vulcan ships may run smoother and way more efficient, klingon battlecruisers may be way more compact and better streamlined for fighting and durability, but nothing in the trek universe comes close to the sheer versatility of human space vessels. And federation operations personel are actually educated in improvisational thinking and creative problem solving. I just find it quite impressive that most of even the worst technobabble is completely consistent with established lore. You make fun of it, but you can't riff on the people taking minute care that it all actually makes some form of sense and is conceptually sound.
@@someoneawesome8717 "So what you are saying is humans found a way to do what humans do in a way that makes us look more kickass?" ...I would be willing to hazard a guess that, yes, that is exactly what is meant here.
@@someoneawesome8717 It's less idiot proofing but more the fact that you float through one of the most hostile-to-life-enviroments known to man in a comperatively thin and flimsy bubble of ceramic and metal alloys. So i guess you want to make, very, __very__ certain that everything works while the precious air and the literally reality wrenching energies that is your main drive stay on their respective sides of that figurative eggshell. On a 5 year exploration mission in deep space without space docks, i imagine failure tollerances are pretty much at 0 if it takes you months at max speed to get to the next intergalactic truck stop. Starfleet just made an art-form out of freestyling with that generously redudant setup in other situations where say, having an entirely seperate EPS grid that you can reroute, overcharge and casually blow out to achieve a desired effect can save your space-bacon.
Orville isn't Star Trek. I have however written verses for Discovery, Lower Decks and Picard. You can hear that version in my Virtual Dragoncon concert video on my channel.
I have to thank you Voltaire, your whole work (this song in particulary) always put a smile on my face, letting me make a laugh. Again, you have my respect an admiration.
This is amazing! I have just been laughing for ages now, only stopping to join in with the chorus, as is so often the case with voltaire's songs. Love it!
At first I didn`t want to listen these songs. I thought how they could be better than they are? How was I mistaken! It really awesome!!! Thank you so much!
I know I comment on a lot of your songs and I don't except you to answer them all but with this album make me a Star Trek fan and I use to like only Star Wars thanks for opening my eyes to a show I thought sucked and made me enjoy it a lot :D
Hmm. Not sure about the new sound, but I like the new verses and the changes to the rest of em. I think I should get BOTH versions of this song! Best of both!
"What does God need with a starship?" I don't care what anyone says. That is one of the best lines in all of Star Trek.
That or, and from the same man no less, "I miss my old chair"
"W-why is God angry?"
I agree fully.. and well done dear!!
Well, Even Q wanted to be on the crew.
@@evanbelisle8464 Well, Q was in love with Picard.
The United Federation of Hold My beer.
doom7ish reads this comment
I’m about to end this man’s whole carrier
Don't you mean "Hold my root beer?"
Hold my synthehol
Hold my Blood Wine!
@@darksol99darkwizard I've only got two arms how am I supposed to hold all y'all drinks
I finally found the episode based on his chorus (refrain). I forgot the title, but it was a Next Generation episode where the Enterprise was trying to destroy a rogue asteroid and the core was made of such solid metal that they said their weapons wouldn't work and they couldn't get a tractor beam lock. So Picard suggested that they bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish 😆.
I played this for a buddy of mine who loves Star Trek, I thought he was going to fall off his chair laughing.
I still remember the time I played this for my gaming group, who all had a similarly appreciative reaction.
I would kill to see a bunch of cosplayers drunk on Romulan Ale singing this.
PeculiarReality Romulan ale should be illegal......
Captain L-Ron Wait, I thought it was illegal...
PeculiarReality it is XD never stopped Picard or Kirk
colt grisham That's what I thought. Still, cosplayers drunk on Romulan Ale while singing this song would be perfect.
It's called DragonCon, and happens in Atlanta over Labor Day Weekend
Well, I felt they should have boldly gone where no one had gone before.. but instead, they lamely rehashed a bunch of crap from Wrath of Kahn. : /
"So someone tell me why I love this fuckin' film so much"
Michael Giacchino.
Yeah I liked the movie till it rehashed WoK :(
The Lair of Voltaire I don't like being followed and that's why they did not boldly go where no one had gone because no one was the only one who could do it with nobody's help
Not wrath of khan. It's Undiscovered Country they copy the plot from
Will you rehash this song for Star Trek Picard?
So check this out. In the game Star Trek Online, there's an ability called "Gravity Well". It's enhanced by one's Graviton Emitter rating, Particle Generator rating, and it's shot out as a beam from the ship's deflector dish. In other words, you bounce a Graviton-Particle Beam off the main deflector dish, IE: "MAKE SHIT UP"! I wonder if this is a coincidence, or a nod by the game devs to this song?
Honestly? By Trek's technobabble standards, that example is surprisingly internally consistent and makes a decent amount of sense. Improving your ability with high-energy exotic particles like gravitons to improve a powerful gravitic effect? Yeah that actually flows pretty well. And has the virtue of not being made up on the spot to solve a plot problem, and is instead just a consistent ability.
+EmperorSteele they actually did it in the show several times, gravaton particle beam defector dish bouncing that is.
and making shit up but that's more than several
+EmperorSteele ((This is the nerdiest conversation I have ever read and it is amazing))
Arthur Kirkland but of course, would you expect no less in the comments section of this song?
@@RAFMnBgaming The one I remember was bouncing a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish to lower the local gravitational constant because they couldn't just lower the gravitational constant of the universe as Q had originally suggested. I think they were trying to tractor beam a moon back into orbit, but it's been a long time.
What else was that technobabble used for?
This song never fails to put me in a great mood.
Voltaire, lord of darkness and karaoke
More specifically?
STAR TREK Karoake.
I first heard this song having not seen any Star Trek and it kind of inspired me to watch. I have listened to this song again after watching each show and it just keeps getting better and better. Sisko and 7 meant nothing to me before but now I get it. Most recently I finished enterprise and T'Pol being a nervous wreck finally got me. Now I want a new version including the new shows.
I think the best thing about Trek is it doesn't take itself too seriously. We just embrace the weird and make fun of it while loving the absolute hell out of it. So a song like this is essentially official canon to the fandom. Right after the Ballad of Bilbo Bagins of course.
This man is AWESOME live, and he's the nicest guy on the planet.
My dad was a serious Trekkie and I am 500% sure he would absolutely lose his shit laughing at this amazing song 😂😂😂
I don't know how but you got the entire point of this song across without ever having to actually say the phrase 'deus ex machina'
and for that, and many other things my dear Villy Bats - I adore you XD
"the timeline has been crushed, so someone tell me why I love this film so fucking much?" OMG yes! I loved the original series and even with all the nonsensical plot holes I loved the movies and I have no idea why XD
They somehow managed to capture the spirit and feel of Star Trek, but with the craziness of a legit hollywood blockbuster budget and look. And altering the time line may have been the single smartest thing ever done on Trek... now they can do whatever the fuck they want. :D
The first time I heard this song it only had the first four verses. The first time I heard the last two was this past Christmas when I played this for my mom. Soon as they said that line "...someone tell me why I love this film so fucking much" she yelled out "THAT'S WHAT I SAID." She grew up on TOS and relatively recently went through all of Next Gen, DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise. The other two parts that had her lol'ing were "leather pants, frizzy hair, and lobsters on their heads," and "it was way back in the 60s when they called it Lost in Space." Cause she watched and loved that show as well.
You do indeed!!!
This song was running through my head at a DECA competition. I had ten minutes to put together a good promotional plan so this was incredibly relevant as I had to throw it together from next to nothing. D:
well done buddy how did it turn out
Omg that’s amazing did you win ??
A similar strategy could be applied to all of life's problems.
Yeah, that'll work GREAT! *Wink wink*
Ezra Block lol it works though! making shit up I mean
Engineers bodge stuff all the time.
That's how I graduated.... With my made shit up thesis.
Killing Nazists?
Was searching for a 19th century philosopher, found better.
I am so glad tvtropes linked this song in their "Ass Pull" article. What an amazing find.
"What does God need with a starship"?
a crew?
"Style, you damn primitives..."
Fly it obviously
@@gabrielclark1425 This absolutely sounds like something Q would say...
Ten years later and this song still has me laughing like a madman
jesus i cant stop listening to this song..
I love his Shatner impression.
I'll be honest, this is way better than the original version from "Banned on Vulcan", however, I can't discount the original, since it introduced me to Voltaire (that and The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy).
love the Irish flair lol
Unexpected, but fun )
Yup it awesomely hilariously catchy
I'm drinking Bailey's as I'm watching this. So IRish.
Best earworm EVER!
Why is the view counter only counting how many times I've watched and not anyone elses?
Oi!
Sent this off to all my trek friends and most of them lost it at the enterprise part bravo Voltaire this is why your my favorite musician.
So, i feel with stuff like Discovery, Picard and Lower decks we may need an updated perspective on the franchise
it would just be five minuts of alex kurtzman's diarrhea sounds
I would not at all be shocked for someone from the Cerritos crew to just start singing this one episode.
@@ShireNomad let's be honest, we know it's going to be boimler.
I'm 64. I emailed Aurelio a couple years ago and complimented his music. He was extremely gracious and appreciative. I LOVE THIS ONE. It TOTALLY sums up what has happened to the TOS concept. I need to send him some money.
BEST COMMENT EVER! ; )
Facts
There are only a few of us that understand all of these lyrics.
and now we need a line or two for into darkness
And now for Discovery
@@MrDynamite110 And now for Picard!
Thank you Olivia for showing me this when you were babysitting me, I'm sure you still listen to this lmao, I will never forget about this song
TV Tropes sent me.
Kind of hoping with the newer star trek series thats ckme you that youll eventually write an uodated version kf this sk g. I absolutely love jt
This is my go to song when I need to get happy fast! I can't not smile while this song is playing.
Now I want a new verse for Into Darkness, considering what I just heard about its ending. Pure, uncut, raw bullshit.
Loved this song.
Yeah, I saw it in the theater and laughed my ass off at that ending.
Though I WILL say: Watching the warp trail dissipate in IMAX 3D was pretty fuckin' cool.
And for Star Trek Discovery plus The Orville :D
And one of Picard!
Need one for Star trek Discovery.
Anyone else noticed in Star Trek every ship is basically a glass cannon get shot once and basically SOL every time I see the ships there's always something wrong with them and they're going to explode like 10 minutes but in the last second as the song says they put up their ass to fix the problem
Except the Defiant. The Defiant could eat a pretty heavy pounding without going down.
Yes, even after the Breen used their drain weapon and its shields were gone it could still take a few dozen direct hits. The Valiant (Defiant class) was the same, but they took on a Dominion super battle cruiser (I forget its name) single handed and it survived long enough to launch several escape pods, but only one survived. And in First Contact (1996) the Borg ripped it up, but it was salvageable...tough little ship.
Worf: LITTLE?!?!😆
According to Roddenberry's memoirs, it's inspired by submarine warfare: you don't really have submarine dogfights, because a solid torpedo hit or two basically sinks one. Definitely ups the stakes and makes out-thinking your opponent more important than just overpowering them with brute force.
This is canon in universe. In DS9, Keevan mentions the "famed Starfleet engineers who can turn rocks into replicators."
standing ovation
This song is so addictive ^^ thanks so much, Voltaire.
Nothing makes me happier than being reminded Voltaire is a giant nerd like the rest of us! ❤
Like the updated version, but I wish the older version of some of these songs were more accessible in a decent quantity.
Love the part where he says "It was such a bad idea you'd think Lucas was involved"
Lyrics:
Well, I was stranded on a planet, just me and Spock
We met a nasty Nazi alien, he locked our asses up
We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head!
Well, I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me
His eyes were full of tears, he said, "Captain, can't you see?
The ship is gonna blow, do something, I beseech!"
I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach
And I said,
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
I know he's just a child, and most think him a twit
But Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit
He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space
Just tell him: "shut up, Wesley," if he gets in your face
And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise
And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knees
And I said
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place
He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
The wormhole opened up and now they come from near and far
We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-hadar
And what is with the Klingons? Remember, in the day,
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lamé
Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead
With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads
And I said
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans, they pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
When suddenly it dawned on me I've seen this show before
Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble slightly out of phase
'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"
We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit
But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits
And I said
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we'll just make some shit up
Well then they got a new show
And it's called Enterprise
And it takes place a hundred years
Before Kirk was alive
They say that it's a prequel
Or so that's what it's called
It's such a bad idea you'd swear that Lucas was involved
They have a Vulcan female
But she's a nervous wreck
Her ass is sweet as Seven's only green
So what the heck
They're in the past but Klingons have those lobsters on their heads
I'm more confused than Wesley Crusher nude in Tasha's bed
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
[Bonus verse]
Well it would seem a big wig up at Paramount
Must have felt the franchise was stale by all accounts
Cause he hired J. J. Abrams to give the thing a shove
I feared that he would mock and mangle everything I love
Well I went to the movie and there much to my shock
There were hunky models playing Kirk and Spock
Vulcan's been destroyed and the timeline has been crushed
So someone tell me why I love this film so fucking much
And I said
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind - we're totally screwed but never mind -
We'll pull something out of our behinds
What does God need with a starship?
We just make some shit up
Thanks for the lyrics! I'm listening to this song but I've never seen Star Trek so I don't know any of the references
@@sadiewinterlord6908 You'll get it if you do. Watch any episode where they get into a nasty fight or ensnared by an anomaly.
@@sadiewinterlord6908 Well each verse is separated in to each series of the franchise
first 2 is TOS/Kirk era
Next 2 is The Next Generation/Picard.
3rd is Deep Space Nine/Joking about Klingons changing from TOS
4th Is Voyager
5th is Enterprise (A horrible prequel series)
And the bonus is based on Star Trek 09, the film made by J.J Abrahms
This song about killed my asthmatic ass with laughter and I love it.
This song came to mind at county fair a bit. Every year a new form of chaos, though nothing can match putting the pirates next to the dog barn, and nothing matches the terror between “loose bull!” and the bull being herded into the horse corral to be recollected
i remember this from so long ago, and not unlike Picard, its updated and doesn't disappoint. waiting for the next iteration now
Why did I imagine the Star Trek captains singing the song?
I don’t know you tell me
Lol it does make sense
Q! I blame Q
Why is this the best song ever tho?
Well it's because they bounced the graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish, it makes it sound extra good!
@@claudelarose8831 adds up 100% 👍
I have had this song stuck in my head for 3 days. Don't do that when you are already on the verge of madness.
I first heard this song at one in the morning while driving home with my sister. Best two hour car ride ever. It made me a life long Voltaire fan.
Please let us get a third version either now that Beyond has dropped or once Discovery comes out :D
4th fist that star treck and wars are now the same maker
It's fantastic
You don't understand how long I've been searching for this classic.
I love the original version of this song, but turning it into more of a sea shanty is absolutely inspired.
You were close, it's actually styled after a stereotypical Irish drinking song.
I play this anytime this comes across my feed. It helps clear my head. I love this song so much.
OK enterprise is not that bad rewatch it and you’ll be pleasantly surprised The first season is a bit rough going but But once you get past it quite good.
Don't take my silly songs too seriously. Lol! . I was a huge fan of Enterprise and was actually really upset when they canceled it because it was just starting to get really good! But that doesn't make for a very funny song. 🤪
@@TheLairofVoltaire Oh I know you’re just using it as a device to make your song much more entertaining, i’m just saying to the fans who watched it when it first came out and They thought it was shit and never gave it another chance it’s not a perfect show but it’s a great show and I was pissed when it was canceled to even though I was two when it came out.
Waiting for the Disco, Picard, and Lower Decks version~
Bloody love it.
this is my pump up song when I'm getting ready for D&D
Oh god, my sides. Thank you, Voltaire.
"We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem'Hadar." XD
It has some vides of that Charlie Mops the guy who invented beer song vibes, love it :)
this was brilliant my friends
I used to love the old one so much, But this one is Even more amazing.
This is freaking brilliant! A friend recently introduced me to Voltaire and this is the funniest song ever! I've been singing the chorus for days. :)
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if this turned out to be the equivalent of an old Federation sea chantey/ bar song on Lower Decks that the senior officers don't know about because it would be banned immediately if they ever hear it.
I was thinking earlier about this song and it occurred to me that it's ridiculous to think that Kirk could stop a warp core breach with a tribble and some chewing gum. That's Scotty's specialty. He wouldn't even need both.
We need a new bonus verse about Discovery and Picard
Jokes on us for complaining about Deus-Ex-Deflector-Dishes all the time.
I went over most stuff they improvise around the deflector (i have too much spare time, i know), and except for TOS, most of the instances are internally consistent.
First you have to understand that modularity and room to improvise with most systems is one of the biggest upside on human ships. On most other factions ships you couldn't even change the deuterium intermix without disabling about a million security protocols (look at obriens troubles early in DS9)
And then you have to understand that the main deflector array is a ginormous energy projection system. It's usual function is to maintain a zero-matter corridor in front of the ship ('deflecting' dust and small asteroids so they don't sieve your ship at high impulse and especially relativistic speeds.) by emitting a strongly charged field in front and around of the ship. It's also integral in projecting an amount of the warp energy to the front to act as the weaker pole of a forming warp bubble.
So in laymens terms, in it's day-to-day operations, it's already a system to bundle, project and refocus absolutely phantastical amounts of energy. And, you may laugh, but the field actually _is_ mostly made up of charged graviton particles to achieve the deflection effect.
With the added benefit of 'quickly' convertable redundancies (sometimes tripple redundancies) that you can misuse for other purposes without compromising the ships functions. Federation ships are basically set up so that you can reroute about anything anywhere to the ship. They also have industrial replicators tied in to the loop to quickly manufacture large amounts of base elements and reactants.
Vulcan ships may run smoother and way more efficient, klingon battlecruisers may be way more compact and better streamlined for fighting and durability, but nothing in the trek universe comes close to the sheer versatility of human space vessels. And federation operations personel are actually educated in improvisational thinking and creative problem solving.
I just find it quite impressive that most of even the worst technobabble is completely consistent with established lore. You make fun of it, but you can't riff on the people taking minute care that it all actually makes some form of sense and is conceptually sound.
So what you're saying is humans modified idiot proofing so even idiots could be useful
@@someoneawesome8717 "So what you are saying is humans found a way to do what humans do in a way that makes us look more kickass?" ...I would be willing to hazard a guess that, yes, that is exactly what is meant here.
@@someoneawesome8717 It's less idiot proofing but more the fact that you float through one of the most hostile-to-life-enviroments known to man in a comperatively thin and flimsy bubble of ceramic and metal alloys. So i guess you want to make, very, __very__ certain that everything works while the precious air and the literally reality wrenching energies that is your main drive stay on their respective sides of that figurative eggshell. On a 5 year exploration mission in deep space without space docks, i imagine failure tollerances are pretty much at 0 if it takes you months at max speed to get to the next intergalactic truck stop.
Starfleet just made an art-form out of freestyling with that generously redudant setup in other situations where say, having an entirely seperate EPS grid that you can reroute, overcharge and casually blow out to achieve a desired effect can save your space-bacon.
I heard this song for the first time tonight at work and damn this is freaking great.
My non-Trekkie friend played this for me because she knows my whole family are trekkies and I just about died of laughter
This made me very happy, thank you
the song that got stuck in my head...
When a reboot doesn't respect the original show's continuity.. This song plays in the main rooms of the company.
I don't know you and I don't know what else is on your channel, Voltaire. I just got linked to this and after one minute of song insta-subscribed! :D
Lol I forgot how funny the chorus to this is. It’s such fun.
We're all waiting for new Discovery, Lower Decks, and Orville verses!
Orville isn't Star Trek. I have however written verses for Discovery, Lower Decks and Picard. You can hear that version in my Virtual Dragoncon concert video on my channel.
@@TheLairofVoltaire Not *officially* Star Trek. But really, it is in its heart.
Just found your music! It's excellent!! 😁😁
I need to buy the CD. Support the guy so he can work on the next album.
The extra verses are AWESOME!!!
I wish all artists were this cool.
5:08 “the timeline has been crushed” yeah and so has Chekov
this is how i cope
Too soon
Listening to this again, now I wish that there was verses for Discovery and Picard.
I have to thank you Voltaire, your whole work (this song in particulary) always put a smile on my face, letting me make a laugh.
Again, you have my respect an admiration.
i love this and id believe that voltaire could write about anything and id be awesome because thats just how great voltaire is.
I love the new verses! Well done, Mister Voltaire!
best song to wake up to - go from knackered to bouncy and energetic in about 2 mins :P
I love this song so much. I'm glad I can always come back to this.
listen to this every day. every. single. day. i always love it and it never gets old
This is amazing! I have just been laughing for ages now, only stopping to join in with the chorus, as is so often the case with voltaire's songs. Love it!
wow.....just wow. drinking song aye.
At first I didn`t want to listen these songs. I thought how they could be better than they are? How was I mistaken! It really awesome!!! Thank you so much!
This....is amazing
Time for more verses!!!
See my Dragoncon Virtual Concert video on this channel to hear them
I know I comment on a lot of your songs and I don't except you to answer them all but with this album make me a Star Trek fan and I use to like only Star Wars thanks for opening my eyes to a show I thought sucked and made me enjoy it a lot :D
Oh man the extra verses. I LOVE THEM.
awesomeness my friend.... pure awesomeness!
I'm definitely not back here relistening to the whole album because Strange new worlds dropped a Musical episode 👀👀
Hmm. Not sure about the new sound, but I like the new verses and the changes to the rest of em. I think I should get BOTH versions of this song! Best of both!