I am 42, no kids. So glad I chose this life style. Way less stress and more time to focus on my own happiness. Plus, a huge relief financially. I only have a sweet dog. Life is good.
Im quite surprised that people in the UK would think that getting marry or having kids in their 30s is a thing I thought it only happens in asia , thanks Susie for this video！
Although there is the same phenomenon, it is caused by different thoughts. Asians have such ideas mostly due to social pressure, however, British people have such ideas more based on biological, or material conditions and other practical considerations
For thousands of years the reproduction runs in our blood. To go against it requires knowledge, decision making and determination. It is not an easy decision
I think different the reason affects peop norm is population interaction. Media with less discussion tend to be more tradition more pressure from norm.
Great topic Susie and really appreciate your friends' honest opinions. I had my son when I was 37. Observing the families around me, I feel a stable and supportive relationship between the parents far outweighs financial stability. The latter can be addressed by living frugally and investing smartly (and early). Another interesting angle I heard from a retired university professors is that educated couples have the responsibility to have children so as to 'balance out' the overall level of intellect of the population.... Freedom is definitely a price a responsible parent will have to pay though.
歐美的女性普遍是自信的,這是很值得學習的,你仔細觀察這些受訪者,他們對婚姻的態度是認為"結婚或不結婚只是一個選擇",not good or bad,但是在台灣,1980年出生以後的女性多數是鄙視婚姻價值(在年輕的時候),她們只想做自己,不想承擔家庭責任,但過了35接近40又會想找個男人結婚,靠男人的經濟能力幫她們把小孩養大,然後變成以母親的身分繼續壓榨她們的孩子(要求孩子必須孝順奉養母親,但自己年輕的時候卻不會體貼父母些什麼)
Myself, grown up from a poor country family, I had a lot of dreams couldn’t be fulfilled due to financial issues. And I tried not to let that happen to my son. I have one only son, I thought we did ok raised him, but think back, realized we couldn’t have done better and feel aching in the heart for somethings we didn’t do well for him. Consciously and subconsciously, we don’t wan to failed our kids which our parents failed us. I believe a lot of people have that thought deep inside but no one of your interviewers mentioned that.
Thank you Susie. I'm in my early 30s, your discussions are really inspiring. Not just the content, also the video itself with English and Chinese subtitles together is so great!
I think it's not a problem of whether or not you are having children. The key really is if you are decided to have children, you'd better having them sooner than later. I had my first child at the age of 35, and I keep regretting not planning for it like a few years earlier. You don't want the situation that when you are planning for your retirement, your children are still studying in elementary schools... Raising a kid honestly consumes all your energy (but it's rewarding and it pays off I believe), do it when you are still young.
這影片訪談的內容超有深度，我對那段非常同意 "want things to be just right and then maybe do that" 這一個觀念貫穿了現代人各式各樣選擇的緣由 我們想要一切完美 否則我寧可不要 從伴侶的選擇 生活方式 感情觀 各種重大的選擇幾乎都離不開這個原則 它確實比起壓抑的及迫於社會壓力的上一個世代的例子更好 但世上哪有這麼好 我們一直在追求一個理想 甚至幻想中的情況 卻沒有想過你所想的情況可能根本不存在
I’m 27, and my mum already starts telling me that I need to get married and have kids soon, so there will be someone to take care of me when I get old. And my mum have asked me a few times since I entered high school, that how much money I will give her every month when she gets old. Having kid(s) so they can take care of you when you get old just sounds so selfish to me. I’m willing to take care of my mum when she gets old, but that doesn’t mean parents have the rights to kidnap their kids future. Financial burden, rising living costs, inflation, rising house price, poverty, these all are stopping me from having kids. And I am also unsure if I will have that continuous momentum to take care of kids. I think this is what puts me on hold. Imagining that I will be struggling between mortgage and kids tuition/living fee just scares me enough.
I'm almost 40, have no kids, and no desire to have any since I was a little girl. I don't think I've ever felt any anxiety about my decision except worry whether this decision would upset my parents ( they're very traditional Chinese families). Now I don't think about that anymore because they seem fine that they don't have to take the traditional role of 'grandparents' as free babysitters to their grandchildren. They weren't great parents when I was growing up although I understand that they have their limits and appreciate that they've tried their best. I am very happy where I am in life and really happy that I never had children so I could get to where I am in life and have more of this life to come. I used to think the reason I never wanted children was because of my pessimistic view of the world, but now I feel quite optimistic and still have zero desire to reproduce. I just can't see myself taking the 'mother' role at all, like ever. I actually like other people's kids and I also work in a field partly about children, but I think as I got older, I've gotten more and more assertive that having kids and being a mum is just not for me. I think it's quite ridiculous that people think not having children is irresponsible. It's a very important and super responsible thing to do to understand your own limits and choose what to take on. For me, I choose to take on other responsibilities, like spending time on the things I love: my career, my aging parents, my friends, my pets, etc.
I think the relationship with the partner, financial stability, and the commitment of the partner matter most But sometimes we just think too much If we are determined to be a parent, we can solve the problems one by one
As a Chinese who came to UK as a teen then stayer over throughout my adulthood here, I can definitely relate, these conversations seem to be my internal thoughts ongoing daily. It is a sad reality, women at certain age do face this "crisis", it's good to hear so many women are on the same page. I can see myself evolve over the years, throughout mid and late 20s when all my friends back home all got married and had children, I was feeling left behind or somehow failed as a woman. Thankfully, my parents were quite open and never pressured me. Before I was a woman, I was a human being first. I only have one life, and I want to live it the fullest. Do men get the same amount of pressure? No. Whether it's a relationship, a marriage/partnership, family or children. If it comes, it comes, but that should never stop myself living the life I want to live, doing the things I want to do.
Hi Susie, I am a PhD student doing relevant research about China's three-child policy (every family is allowed to have no more than three children) and I find this episode is fantastic. I am keen to hear different voices about why fewer people want to have a baby, which is similar happening in China. Looking forward to seeing more and speaking with you.
I didn't know that China has changed their policy from their former one-child policy to a three-child policy now. That's good for me to know. Thank you.
@@MrThezous Interesting. Do you have a source or a link where I can read and learn more about their change from their former one-child policy to this? Thank you.
I like this type of video. Some personal or private topics. Things people don't talk about very often (doesn't mean they do not care about). Very interesting!
One of the reasons our generations are less eager to have kids is we are fed negativity and pressure from our parent's generations. Their expectation of us being better became our new normal, but reality didn't catch up to the expectation.
Great topic! The girl who said the babies are so cute, is super native! Playing with others’ babies and taking care of your own is completely different thing. If there is Time Machine, I would definitely choose not having children. The fun does end after having children. And also a lot depends on the child you have. They can be really easy to raise and can be extremely hard causing all the stress. You just never know
This is def one of the most interesting and fruitful episodes you’ve made. I enjoyed a lot. Through discussions about topics like this, I actually learned more of English language and perspectives!
This is a wonderful interview to watch. I am Taiwanese living in England and my kid is in year 1, maybe I should start to ask mums around me why they chose to have kids, now I am curious. X
My high school friend gave birth to her children between 36-38. But she went to the clinic to store her young eggs at 30 when she was still a single woman. She didn’t regret her decision. But one funny is - her son and daughter who are 2’yrs apart are genetically should be twin since they came from the same period of time (same group of eggs). So they look like twin! I pop this question to her and I got all the details above…Woof! What a story to share !
I love the sharing so much and watched it all. I think your first friend saying matches my recent thinking a lot. Sometimes confuse to think if it’s actually a good thing for us to have choice now. So true she soeaks of the “Internal clock ticking”. I suppose that’s something a man would never think of😂…Thank you for the video. It provides so many new perspectives, relate with me to a newer extend.
Thanks Susie for all these interviews. All very interesting viewpoints 40:28 I think it's not realistic to think about this question without thinking about financial, education or environment because in reality we should/ have to think about that and this is where the difficulties lay.
It's directly related to the level of education one received. In my personal experience, patenting is part of "maturing" - when I finally understand why my parents behaved the way they were when I was a kid. Parenting is a very fulfilling and rewarding experience.
Amazing inputs from different perspectives in this video! My mom just brought up the idea of having children or not and egg freezing with me this year. It’s not an easy thing but it’s always good to start asking ourselves all these questions around having kids or not.
Thanks for your sharing, to all the guests in the video! I’m 31 and married for 7 years, partner is a reliable guy. I share the same anxiety for the same reason that some guests in this video said, not having my own time. Like I wouldn’t have time to watch Susie’s UA-cam video if I have a kid to attend to. And if 33 is the deadline I don’t have much time left. Still in doubts and concern, don’t know how to make a choice.
Very good discussion!❤I feel so sad about the beautiful Indian girl’s mom, the situation is kind of same like Chinese culture when a woman in marriage. But I am so glad her mum got her own job(life) finally. All the best to you all!!❤
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過來人經驗分享.......若伴侶不懂/不願做家務的話, 千萬不要生孩子, 自己要在職還要照顧小朋友, 身心疲憊不堪, 心情不好自然對小朋友/伴侶不好, 不斷抱怨影響了大家的感情, 所以生小孩一定要三思🥺
是你為什麼要挑一個這種伴侶，這才是問題的根源
@@GW-oz9sf 就是當初不知道才說經驗分享阿
別把人想的太理智，是個人都會犯錯，從別人的經驗裡吸取教訓能少走很多冤枉路
@@GW-oz9sf 那眾生為什麼要來這個苦難的世界？眾生皆不來就不必生老病死互相折磨了？
@@Gould-r3l 但多數人不動腦 庸碌一生就過了
@@lememe7 有兩種說法，你可以理解看看。
1.成佛說。起身動念 境隨心轉，越歷經劫難才能累積更多經驗值⋯才能脫離人世輪迴之苦
2.體驗說。人世體驗有好有壞，令人著迷、也令人愚昧 因此各世投胎經驗都讓人難以忘懷。但萬般帶不走 只有業隨身
I am 42, no kids. So glad I chose this life style. Way less stress and more time to focus on my own happiness. Plus, a huge relief financially. I only have a sweet dog. Life is good.
你很幸运，希望每个没有主动生养小孩的家庭主人们到了62岁时，还能开心快乐且没有感觉到一点因为没有小孩所带来的遗憾。
我觉得现在年轻人对于生小孩这件事比父母一辈要更加慎重了。并不是有钱买尿布和奶粉就觉得可以生，还要有稳定良好的伴侣关系、有房、有教育经费，而且自己和伴侣在心理和情绪上都感觉比较稳定了，可以成为小孩的依靠了，才会觉得也许可以考虑一下。
可能因为很多人的父母都是想都不想就生，但自己情绪超不稳定，人格也不成熟，结果只能给予物质上的东西，小孩在精神和情感上好像在沙漠里挣扎。所以长大之后不想重蹈父母辈的覆辙，对自己的要求也就更高更多了。
先向天下所有媽媽說辛苦了，我有女兒，我深深感到女性其實不是在33歲必須做決定，而是早在出生前，社會環境、社區、家庭早已決定是否給予女性友善的生育環境，就現況而言對大多數女性是不友善的，所以不論生育率降到多低，女性都沒有道德義務來生育，女性應有100%追求自己幸福與快樂的權力。
如果女性決定生育，表示妳有無比的勇氣與莫大的犧牲，請善待自己，妳值得更好的對待。
@@tom48439p 比如說
@@tom48439p @_@
@@tom48439p 房子不論男女都有壓力吧
@@tom48439p 在中国很多家庭都是男女一起承担房贷，并不是所有家庭都是男方提供房产
@@tom48439p 台灣很多家庭都是一起承擔房貸，我父母就是，或是房子在名下的人承擔房貸，像我剛買房，房子是在我名下是我的財產，我女朋友住我的根本沒差，不要買用租的人也非常多
我後悔婚姻，但很高興有孩子，孩子是一輩子的喜悅！當然教養過程很心累，但是在這個過程會發現很多自己的問題，其實很多教育課題都是從自己原生家庭帶來的，所以我們要解決自己的問題，再去思考怎麼好好引導自己的孩子🎉孩子跟媽媽的情感，是世上最美麗的事。當然常常得把自己放在後面，但我覺得時間都是可以安排的。
超有深度廣度的一集內容，非常喜歡。然後發現，其實中西方對於不生小孩的理由好像沒有差異這麼大。也許政治被搞的一團亂的情況下，人的基本需求和恐懼都是一樣的。總之，也許大環境就是這麼的不友善，我們還是努力的把自己扮演好。我曾在巴拉旺省看到一對夫妻帶著7-8個小孩在旅遊參觀。臉上帶著滿足的笑容。我想他們也有煩惱，只是他們的❤️超越了煩惱罷了。
那是經濟壓力問題吧？巴拉旺省帶8小孩去旅遊，基本上是財力展示 XD
但上上輩子也有很多無賴 稀飯都吃不起還生8孩
我也認為要養小孩需要一個穩定的環境，也要確保自己老了不要去依賴小孩，結論就是我沒有足夠的能力去負擔.....
無論如何 只要思考好 規劃好人生 不要後悔 就沒問題 不要跟隨著因為他們生 我就生 不是每一位都適合當父母親 生小孩也不是一種當人類的義務 如果真的生了 就需要了解需要花費很多時間金錢好好教育他們 賀爾蒙會影響頭腦的思考 做一些衝動的事情 但小孩生下來 就是一輩子的 所以請謹慎
戴舒瑄 不生太可惜了
藍 眼 銀灰眼 老公
下一代依舊yt 藍眼 銀灰眼 來台
前幾代有好多呆頭呆腦的
我很喜欢你做这期节目！谢谢你❤ 希望以后可以继续有各种各样的话题讨论。我是一位四十岁的女性，我不生小孩的原因有点不同。我觉得我的童年过得很辛苦，我的父母尽力给了我最好，但这是他们觉得的好 很多不是我需要的。 长大之后我也理解父母，我知道作为父母很难完全理解孩子的需要，做好沟通。做父母是一件很难的事，我不觉得我有能力做好。所以我不希望带一个生命来这世界 而不能给他/她最适合的资源。我不想害她/他受苦。
曾在既定的30歲左右確實會焦慮過，不過過了生物生理時鐘後，還沒生，直接不用想了。 直接進入沒有孩子的人生 😊😊 這集內容非常的深非常的棒!!! 非常愛，想給這集10個讚❤❤
身為女性，我的朋友們父母都希望她們30歲前結婚生孩子。
但我的媽媽希望我的人生能快樂，自己願意再生孩子。所以我很感動。
我有两个小孩，生之前从来没有这方面的犹豫。我一直知道养育小孩的责任和辛苦，所以我也没有要求自己去当个完美母亲，尽量给自己能给的，吸取我父母养育我过程中所造成的一些遗憾。总体来说，我的童年物质条件不好，但我们全家一起快快乐乐生活也没有觉得哪里不好。而且有小孩后我感觉我整个人的情感和思考方式发生特别大的变化，以前只管自己，缺乏同理心，现在感觉自己更丰富一些。当然找到合适的伴侣是个大前提，生活目标明确。
只能说，有了孩子而我们又尽心去关爱他们，我觉得“我的”人生圆满了。养育的过程中有苦有乐，可我很清楚我是被需要的那个，孩子使我的爱能够释放，他们也以乖巧聪明回报，我很满足。
我觉得和女性自我意识的觉醒有关，当女性意识到生孩子的压力和牺牲大部分由自己来承担，那么生孩子就变得痛苦和可怕。人类需要意识到人类繁衍的责任需要全社会来承担，社会需要考虑怎么给女性减负和更好的支持。
很喜歡這種深度討論的主題，謝謝妳與朋友們都願意說出最真實的心聲～
这是一个很有趣的主题，节目也是非常精彩。令我感到意外的是，原来东西方的人的思想在这个问题上竟然如此接近了。并且我感到很欣赏Susie思考问题的角度和她的有点“传统”的价值观。
因為人類社會早已國際化，而且已經進入25號宇宙裡面，”美麗的人“的崩潰之前的階段。
@@adamlee9699 希望崩溃是在遥远的未来
@@adamlee9699 非常同意
我發現這些女性的想法都是
要求權利的同時拒絕責任
整個女權 自助餐
做為女性其實思考的事情都差不多，讓我覺得自己在生不生的煩惱上、並不孤單：）
我看到标题就一口气把40分钟的视频看完了，不曾想到的是整个对话非常坦诚，简直就是闺蜜间的房烛夜话，真是很难得的好视频。
当然，几乎每个观点都和我一样，其中关于全球气候变暖也作为理由纳入，我只能说这是人对地球环境，对于人在地球上的位置有了更深的理解。人只是地球的一滴水，还有其他千万的物种需要生存。我觉得那是一种思想的觉悟。
Susie’s friends are well educated. Very rational and deep discussion. Love it.
Im quite surprised that people in the UK would think that getting marry or having kids in their 30s is a thing I thought it only happens in asia , thanks Susie for this video！
yes, I was surprised too. This is the stereotype that we Asian care about ages only. However, we are all people. I should stop categorising people.
Although there is the same phenomenon, it is caused by different thoughts. Asians have such ideas mostly due to social pressure, however, British people have such ideas more based on biological, or material conditions and other practical considerations
For thousands of years the reproduction runs in our blood. To go against it requires knowledge, decision making and determination. It is not an easy decision
I think different the reason affects peop norm is population interaction. Media with less discussion tend to be more tradition more pressure from norm.
@@ann-marie3516
因为所有的反对👎基因🧬已经消亡了😂
最重要的是 . 生小孩必須是真心的愛小孩 不是一種機器式的別人生 我也生
人生無常一旦決定了 沒有後悔的路
生小孩也是一種哲學
非常好的內容,最想不到的是原來英國的家庭也會想下一代有小孩,這種說法我也是第一次聽到,一直以為整個歐洲風氣都會很開放,想不想要小孩都隨你之類,讓我知道了到很多英國人不同的看法 感恩
可能跟長子繼承制有關（？
Great topic Susie and really appreciate your friends' honest opinions. I had my son when I was 37. Observing the families around me, I feel a stable and supportive relationship between the parents far outweighs financial stability. The latter can be addressed by living frugally and investing smartly (and early). Another interesting angle I heard from a retired university professors is that educated couples have the responsibility to have children so as to 'balance out' the overall level of intellect of the population....
Freedom is definitely a price a responsible parent will have to pay though.
歐美的女性普遍是自信的,這是很值得學習的,你仔細觀察這些受訪者,他們對婚姻的態度是認為"結婚或不結婚只是一個選擇",not good or bad,但是在台灣,1980年出生以後的女性多數是鄙視婚姻價值(在年輕的時候),她們只想做自己,不想承擔家庭責任,但過了35接近40又會想找個男人結婚,靠男人的經濟能力幫她們把小孩養大,然後變成以母親的身分繼續壓榨她們的孩子(要求孩子必須孝順奉養母親,但自己年輕的時候卻不會體貼父母些什麼)
生孩子容易，养孩子难，但最重要的是父母身体健康很重要，我那时就有夫妻双方都需要体检是否可以生孩子，体检内容主要是是否有遗传病和健康状况等等。另外，单亲妈妈是很幸苦的，所以在你还不能确定男方是否真的有责任心会负责养育孩子长大成人的情况下，悠着点。还有就是要增强体质，不要太虚弱了。
这个话题我个人非常喜欢。我自己也是这个年纪的人，会很经常碰到并且思考这些问题。能够了解到外国适婚年龄女性的第一手的想法是件很有意义的事。让我们对这个世界不同地域的人会有更好的认识，开阔了眼界。谢谢你Susie！
生小孩或買房子只是社會文化環境灌輸在我們頭腦裡面的想法。重要的是，你自己想要什麼。我從小到現在三十多歲都不想要小孩，小孩很可愛，但生小孩養小孩對於我來說是一種投資，身心靈，時間金錢都是成本。我寧願投資我自己或是收養孤兒。很多孤兒需要父母和愛。
Myself, grown up from a poor country family, I had a lot of dreams couldn’t be fulfilled due to financial issues. And I tried not to let that happen to my son. I have one only son, I thought we did ok raised him, but think back, realized we couldn’t have done better and feel aching in the heart for somethings we didn’t do well for him. Consciously and subconsciously, we don’t wan to failed our kids which our parents failed us. I believe a lot of people have that thought deep inside but no one of your interviewers mentioned that.
這次的影片很棒！希望有機會看到相關議題的討論。我自己最喜歡Florence這位來賓的觀點，可惜她的篇幅偏少，希望下次的影片還能看到她。
未滿30歲女生從不同觀點來探討是否生小孩, 對自己將來的人生規劃與還沒來到這世界的那個生命, 已經是個好的觀點與起點.(喜歡這類分享觀點的議題)
謝謝提出這個話題我很認真的聽完、對我而言、感覺這是挺嚴肅的話題、在古時候這只是順其自然、我自己早婚早生孩子真沒想這麼多、我想還有一個問題是屬於醫學的、因為有位朋友已過40歲、每天也過的很充實的生活但她突然檢查到有了卵巢癌、我查了一下網路醫學文章：未曾懷孕患這病的機率較高😮,讓我嚇到、感覺女性們的一輩子在心理生理真的是非常不簡單。
生孩子也有生孩子的患病機率，比如牙痛、缺鈣、骨質疏鬆、腰椎間盤突出、膝蓋疼痛等，如果想要通過產生一個問題來解決另一問題，永遠只會患得患失！
@@悅悅-r6n 真的，而且即使婦科疾病避開了，也不代表身體其他器官不會出問題，還是要找出讓自己有壓力的源頭才有用。
受訪者說中了很多我們這輩的心聲
其實我更想知道的 是已超過生育年齡但不曾生育的人有怎樣的想法
他們有後悔嗎？還是很慶幸自己沒有做錯決定
人生不存在后悔，除非你有得选，而大多数人实际上并没有选择的资本。你可能觉得某某人条件足可以结婚生子，实际上他有自己的想法，他觉得自己并没有那个能力。
很好的論點 我也好奇 希望有機會做一集
推推，這個觀點也很令我好奇。
推荐一本美国作家的书《最好的决定》，收集了16位没有生育的父母的心声。在我自己犹豫日后是否要生育的时候，去读了这本书。虽然和我自身情况不同，但我觉得这本书提供了更多关于生育的思考角度。
之前不想生，后来生了，发现没我想象的那么糟，虽然work一大堆，但是快乐也是真实的。如果问我是否后悔生，答案是不后悔。但是，如果我没有体验过有孩子的生活，感觉大概率也不会后悔，因为没有体验过，无所谓失去，而且省下来的时间精力都可以花在其它让我感到快乐、满足的地方。
戴小姐～討論話題很棒，在台灣很多小孩也有如上所言現象，可能是環境影響（各領域），做為父母會以我們經歷經驗傳承，孩子們有自己想法，大概也只能尊重。
喜歡妳的中文註解，雖是老頭，在學習英文道路上加緊前行，謝謝妳……
Thank you Susie. I'm in my early 30s, your discussions are really inspiring. Not just the content, also the video itself with English and Chinese subtitles together is so great!
宏觀來說，這個社會正在淘汰一些無法適應的人群
如果你沒經濟能力、沒辦法維持信任關係、沒辦法為下一代犧牲
那結果當然就是你只能想辦法過好自己的人生
但，你的人生，你的思想，你的文化，只到你為止
沒有人真正繼承關於你的事物，你如果無所謂，其實不生也沒關係
我覺得有了小孩，看事物的方式會不太一樣
對待父母、兄弟姊妹、家族，感受也會不同，我也感覺更有同情心
看著小孩不斷的成長真的很幸福，從出生的那刻跟之後的每一刻，我感到比單身時候幸福很多
養育小孩對我來說是個終身付出，削減自己的開支，把資源都轉讓給他們，讓他們不斷茁壯，真的很有成就感
單身的生活體驗是有極限的，很多單身時期感到快樂的事，現在對我來說已經沒有感覺囉
生育率下降其實對地球是件好事，也是思想多樣化的表現，其實不生也很好。
不要生了不養又不教，那是最糟糕的
大部分人有什么伟大的想法和基因可以继承吗？还是说有大笔的财产 皇位继承 自己那么普通了 硬生生的把自己普通的基因传承下去有意义么
@@pianoapartment5529 基因跟文化的真正價值是由自然決定的，不是個別人或群體決定的。也有可能你這幾代體現不了這些價值，但未來是有意義的，人不是神，預測不了未來，所有有形的事物都將是過眼雲煙，個別基因與文化的價值，其實重要也不重要，因為在歷史的大浪中，都只能是個小波瀾，唯有眾人相信愛，把愛傳遞下去、散播出去，讓無數個小波瀾集結成大浪，讓大家都能幸福才是真正的意義
我的想法跟你的完全一样！单身时候有钱有闲的快乐，有了家庭就不稀罕了！
你说的“没有人真正继承关于你的事物”，对我来说，“继承“换成“关心”：没有人真正关心你的事物！😢
@@pianoapartment5529 他说的“继承”，可以是事业、一些产业（至少有一栋房子吧）和血脉。
很有趣的分享，看完才發現原來這些想法不只有我想過，因為平常不太有機會跟身邊的朋友談論這個話題，可以知道其他人對於這議題的想法對我來說有種釋懷的感覺。
這個話題非常有趣。
我一直都很想要小孩，但我太太沒有很想要。
我尊重她的想法。
真的非常謝謝你，以及一群勇於分享的朋友們，帶給我很多啟發！Thank you for bring out such inspiring content!
I think it's not a problem of whether or not you are having children. The key really is if you are decided to have children, you'd better having them sooner than later. I had my first child at the age of 35, and I keep regretting not planning for it like a few years earlier. You don't want the situation that when you are planning for your retirement, your children are still studying in elementary schools... Raising a kid honestly consumes all your energy (but it's rewarding and it pays off I believe), do it when you are still young.
Very detailed discussion. Thank you Susie for having the interviews and your friends for sharing their thoughts so openly.
当伴侣告诉你，在家带孩子就是在享清福的时候，那个听后感真的很痛苦，然后，悔意就是永远都抹不去的东西！另外，到今天，过去那个养儿防老的观念也变得不确定。曾经问过女儿，“妈妈老了，你会照顾吗？” 她叹口气说，“我自然会尽力的。不过，天底下的政府都在延迟退休年龄，我可能要工作到65岁之后了。。。”
放心吧，只要我们养育孩子时让他们感受到爱，我们老了有事需要他们，他们一定会照顾我们的。我哥和我爸妈常常吵架，可我爸妈生病看医生是我哥第一时间送他们去的。我们东方人的亲情要患难才会看见。😅
養兒防老是爺爺時代的價值觀吧，希望我們這一代不要有任何父母親給小孩這種壓力
我完全没有想过让小孩养我。我童年是很差本不想要后来要了(我是男)，反而把之前不要的想法都变了。我这一代叫有能力供给自己也有能力供养(只是不知道能养他多久)，现在这代出生的，兢爭大要学得多但得到少，只要他能搞定自己就可以。我觉得自己活过还可以，叫作开心过，我不需要成为下代的负累延续我自己，到了70岁反正也不能做什么。现在看着他就像我自己的童年再过一次，分别是我做得比我老头好多倍，这样我已开心。
看到環境的議題，突然有個想法，如果集體潛意識的理論是正確的，那我們這代不想有小孩的這個想法，或許是集體共識的結果
个人主义是文明进步的表现，亚洲过了一定阶段之后，也会逐渐去推崇个人主义。 当然不排除文化因素的影响，但是社会发展到一定阶段时，某种特定的社会现象必然会产生，比如追求男女平权，同性恋合法，不婚主义等等
討論觀點很深入，非常棒的一集。
沒想到氣候變遷會被拿來討論，我自己在20初頭時就有這個想法，覺得地球上的人類太多了，必須要盡可能的減少人口，所以就決定不生小孩；一直到現在40初頭還是很焦慮人口太多，我也不知道為什麼。
第二個不生小孩的原因是不想再複製階級、複製另一個我；第三個是非常厭惡傳統家庭的價值觀。
对自己的决定，从以前到现在到以后都觉得快乐，那么这个决定就正确了。😊
現在生活習慣與以前有很大不同，以前是日出而作 日落而息，現在有部份工作作息時間不固定且惑人的愉樂性地方又太多，還有大部份人都是在異地工作不像以前親友有空時會幫忙照題小朋友，除有宗教信仰者外越是發達的國家生育力越低
很長的一集 但非常精彩 謝謝你
這影片訪談的內容超有深度，我對那段非常同意 "want things to be just right and then maybe do that"
這一個觀念貫穿了現代人各式各樣選擇的緣由 我們想要一切完美 否則我寧可不要
從伴侶的選擇 生活方式 感情觀 各種重大的選擇幾乎都離不開這個原則
它確實比起壓抑的及迫於社會壓力的上一個世代的例子更好 但世上哪有這麼好 我們一直在追求一個理想 甚至幻想中的情況 卻沒有想過你所想的情況可能根本不存在
這原則就是自欺欺人，忽略現實面， 你沒那個條件卻要求那個完美，缺乏檢視自身，你搞不好就是別人眼中的那個「不完美」
選擇需要時間，時間一過，你條件有低，更不完美，此刻你卻還在想「我要一切完美，否則我寧可不要」然後就在這條路上一路走到黑
這就是許多現代女性的寫照
非常好的话题，真实反映当下的社会现状。人类科技发达文明进步后，更多的考虑的不是动物性的延续生命孕育后代，更多的是担心、压力、遗憾。注定人类这个物种将逐步消失。。。大家说对吗？
I’m 27, and my mum already starts telling me that I need to get married and have kids soon, so there will be someone to take care of me when I get old.
And my mum have asked me a few times since I entered high school, that how much money I will give her every month when she gets old.
Having kid(s) so they can take care of you when you get old just sounds so selfish to me. I’m willing to take care of my mum when she gets old, but that doesn’t mean parents have the rights to kidnap their kids future.
Financial burden, rising living costs, inflation, rising house price, poverty, these all are stopping me from having kids. And I am also unsure if I will have that continuous momentum to take care of kids. I think this is what puts me on hold. Imagining that I will be struggling between mortgage and kids tuition/living fee just scares me enough.
I'm almost 40, have no kids, and no desire to have any since I was a little girl. I don't think I've ever felt any anxiety about my decision except worry whether this decision would upset my parents ( they're very traditional Chinese families). Now I don't think about that anymore because they seem fine that they don't have to take the traditional role of 'grandparents' as free babysitters to their grandchildren. They weren't great parents when I was growing up although I understand that they have their limits and appreciate that they've tried their best. I am very happy where I am in life and really happy that I never had children so I could get to where I am in life and have more of this life to come.
I used to think the reason I never wanted children was because of my pessimistic view of the world, but now I feel quite optimistic and still have zero desire to reproduce. I just can't see myself taking the 'mother' role at all, like ever. I actually like other people's kids and I also work in a field partly about children, but I think as I got older, I've gotten more and more assertive that having kids and being a mum is just not for me.
I think it's quite ridiculous that people think not having children is irresponsible. It's a very important and super responsible thing to do to understand your own limits and choose what to take on. For me, I choose to take on other responsibilities, like spending time on the things I love: my career, my aging parents, my friends, my pets, etc.
I think the relationship with the partner, financial stability, and the commitment of the partner matter most
But sometimes we just think too much
If we are determined to be a parent, we can solve the problems one by one
舒萱，我觉得你选的这个话题他很有意思，可不可以下一期再继续聊？
另外，关于这个话题可否也请一些男生来谈谈他们的观点？据我所知，有些女生自己本身不想生，但由于你大多数男生想要传宗接代（没错，现在这个时代仍然有这样的想法，而且不在少数）小孩所以女生不得不生，不然有可能导致分手或者离婚。
所以很想听听男生们一定想要小孩的动机是什么。谢谢舒萱。
所有动物都有写在基因里的本能，就是想要生存和繁衍，你在这食物链顶端反而想来想去觉得繁衍没必要了，你应该问问自己为什么。
我觉得，支持女性自己选择生不生，也支持男生选择不生就离婚，都该有自己选择，传宗接代又怎么了?如果你的祖先没这想法，你说不定现在都不会来到这世上。
想要小孩很多原因，除了本能以外，还有觉得自己这辈子很幸福很幸运，想给一个新的生命带来同样的幸福。觉得希望自己这一生老了有家庭，有比自己更大的人生意义，而不是终于追求自己个人的快乐。
很喜欢多个人不同角度的去聊。给人的启发可能是无论做出那种决定知道了利弊，就更可以去安心接受。如果能纳入一些已经生过小孩的女性的想法，她们曾经的想法，生过小孩之后是否有变化，也许也很有趣。
有小孩是一個很不同的生活，
你會18年有一個甜蜜的負擔，生活圍繞著小孩設計；
再40年有一個信任的親友。
養可能不會花很多錢，但需要時間照顧，會讓你少賺很多錢。
所以最好先有10年的經濟基礎(以台灣來說不含房租約300萬)，或另一半能支持十年的家庭經濟。
非常真實的對話，感受到每位朋友都說出自己心底話
As a Chinese who came to UK as a teen then stayer over throughout my adulthood here, I can definitely relate, these conversations seem to be my internal thoughts ongoing daily. It is a sad reality, women at certain age do face this "crisis", it's good to hear so many women are on the same page. I can see myself evolve over the years, throughout mid and late 20s when all my friends back home all got married and had children, I was feeling left behind or somehow failed as a woman. Thankfully, my parents were quite open and never pressured me. Before I was a woman, I was a human being first. I only have one life, and I want to live it the fullest. Do men get the same amount of pressure? No. Whether it's a relationship, a marriage/partnership, family or children. If it comes, it comes, but that should never stop myself living the life I want to live, doing the things I want to do.
現在很多生小孩完沒在教養真的很恐怖，然後小孩還小 離婚的一堆😢
食衣住行等生活成本越來越高，但收入高、家境好等條件好的男人有限，與其跟普男結婚生子面對往後辛苦的人生，不如單身或不生，至少日子比較好過。
这辈子最开心的不是婚姻，不是男人，是我有个儿子，一路陪他长大，他又陪我变老。一直以来，他都是我变强的动力，在我最困难的时候，也是他用小小的身体支持我。
所以我说，我们被孩子需要能成就我们的人生。孩子不在家我就饭也不做了，随便吃，有了孩子，生活有规律，工作有干劲😅
好棒的訪談，期待下集
會啊！
小孩子天真可愛，每個人都經歷過的一段時光。
照顧小孩蠻辛苦，但也有成就感。
就國家層面來說,其實生小孩是國安問題,不管是哪個國家都必須要積極營造出適合的環境,讓女性願意去思考這件事!
Hi Susie, I am a PhD student doing relevant research about China's three-child policy (every family is allowed to have no more than three children) and I find this episode is fantastic. I am keen to hear different voices about why fewer people want to have a baby, which is similar happening in China. Looking forward to seeing more and speaking with you.
I didn't know that China has changed their policy from their former one-child policy to a three-child policy now.
That's good for me to know. Thank you.
@@ewenchan1239 The fact is you can have as many children as you want now. Chinese government is not gonna intervene or make it difficult for you.
@@MrThezous
Interesting.
Do you have a source or a link where I can read and learn more about their change from their former one-child policy to this?
Thank you.
i thought the policy was intended to encourage people to have at least 3 kids
中国不是可以再婚？不同人可以重新算。不是吗？乡下好像可以多生。只是身份证不能拿到吧。可能要永远见不得光。
From chappies to chapatis you covered this topic from many interesting angles and kudos to your friends’ candidness.
Thanks for bringing this in-depth conversation. Sounds it's universal around the globe in some sense!
I like this type of video. Some personal or private topics. Things people don't talk about very often (doesn't mean they do not care about). Very interesting!
One of the reasons our generations are less eager to have kids is we are fed negativity and pressure from our parent's generations.
Their expectation of us being better became our new normal, but reality didn't catch up to the expectation.
Great topic! The girl who said the babies are so cute, is super native! Playing with others’ babies and taking care of your own is completely different thing. If there is Time Machine, I would definitely choose not having children. The fun does end after having children. And also a lot depends on the child you have. They can be really easy to raise and can be extremely hard causing all the stress. You just never know
非常棒的话题，十分具有现实意义，感谢Susie及朋友们。
Kudos to you for all the in-depth interviews and honest discussions!
这事不用担心，选择对自己好的道路。
如果因工作，生活压力，等外在原因很快就能大部分化解。
基于个人信用货币的社会体系给每个人都有巨大的自由空间。工作压力，家庭压力，生活压力将大幅下降。有没有孩子变成非常重要的个人爱好，而不是负担。
This is def one of the most interesting and fruitful episodes you’ve made. I enjoyed a lot. Through discussions about topics like this, I actually learned more of English language and perspectives!
看完之後真的感觸很深！思考面向又多了一點！
我之前女朋友也告诉我她惧怕生小孩，多听听女生的想法是很好的👍
很意外後面竟然還討論到氣候變遷的問題其實這個我來很多年前就想過😢
wish more in-depth interview like this video, over 20 min , really helpful
冷眼旁觀.現在的小孩能力.品行和毅力都比上一代差.
當然父母的驕寵.不忍是最大因素.
姑且不論是否有經濟能力生養.預想將來的結果.還是不生不養的好.
綜觀今日社會.不只台.日.歐美各國也一樣.有多少年輕人.即使不是躺平.讓父母供養一輩子.
也多賺錢不夠養家.買房....需父母資助.倘若父母經濟不好.更可能淪為獨居老人.無人奉養.那麼有子等於無子.何苦呢?
This is a wonderful interview to watch. I am Taiwanese living in England and my kid is in year 1, maybe I should start to ask mums around me why they chose to have kids, now I am curious. X
聰明的人不生，不聰明的人不斷生
基因弱化
而且孩子的智商會遺傳自母親 然後聰明的女性幾乎都不生
My high school friend gave birth to her children between 36-38. But she went to the clinic to store her young eggs at 30 when she was still a single woman. She didn’t regret her decision. But one funny is - her son and daughter who are 2’yrs apart are genetically should be twin since they came from the same period of time (same group of eggs). So they look like twin! I pop this question to her and I got all the details above…Woof! What a story to share !
That’s really good to know ! Thanks so much Suzie for making this video. Love it ❤
生小孩對自己的民族/國家發展是一件好事。小朋友被誕生，長大後是否快樂就因人而異。做人其實挺辛苦的。
超級棒的內容，謝謝萱萱😂
I love the sharing so much and watched it all. I think your first friend saying matches my recent thinking a lot. Sometimes confuse to think if it’s actually a good thing for us to have choice now. So true she soeaks of the “Internal clock ticking”. I suppose that’s something a man would never think of😂…Thank you for the video. It provides so many new perspectives, relate with me to a newer extend.
Glad it resonated with you :) Thanks for the support!
For some reasons without paying much attention to the conversations, I just completely immersed myself to this wonderful melody - British accent😬
Thanks!
目前我30了，在中国就属于那种老油条了，经常会被老家的亲戚催婚。但是在大城市还好，很能互相尊重。我是在前几年，跟家里有小孩子的亲朋呆了一些时间，真的有被吓到。
被什么吓到？养育费？孩子的素质？
Thanks Susie for all these interviews. All very interesting viewpoints
40:28 I think it's not realistic to think about this question without thinking about financial, education or environment because in reality we should/ have to think about that and this is where the difficulties lay.
that's very interesting topic and well organized and professionally presented in the video, well done, Susie!
It's directly related to the level of education one received. In my personal experience, patenting is part of "maturing" - when I finally understand why my parents behaved the way they were when I was a kid. Parenting is a very fulfilling and rewarding experience.
对，过来人！男人不懂分担照顾孩子，不懂养育经济分担，不懂体谅女性的辛苦生育并提供安慰和情绪价值！女人千万不要随便生孩子！孩子虽然很可爱！但是一个人承担所有会非常非常辛苦和痛苦！
Amazing inputs from different perspectives in this video!
My mom just brought up the idea of having children or not and egg freezing with me this year.
It’s not an easy thing but it’s always good to start asking ourselves all these questions around having kids or not.
Thanks for your sharing, to all the guests in the video! I’m 31 and married for 7 years, partner is a reliable guy. I share the same anxiety for the same reason that some guests in this video said, not having my own time. Like I wouldn’t have time to watch Susie’s UA-cam video if I have a kid to attend to. And if 33 is the deadline I don’t have much time left. Still in doubts and concern, don’t know how to make a choice.
紐西蘭也是提供所謂免學費的教育，但是事實上不是這樣的，學校會發e-mail 給家長希望家長能盡所能的方式繳納教育學費跟捐款（捐款不強迫看各人意願），在我的想法是羊毛出在羊身上，前人已經捐款支持學校的硬軟體，我們很感恩也願意捐款給學校，讓學校可以正常運作一些該修護維護的硬軟體。 我沒想到這些話題真的都是跟我很相似。
Very good discussion!❤I feel so sad about the beautiful Indian girl’s mom, the situation is kind of same like Chinese culture when a woman in marriage. But I am so glad her mum got her own job(life) finally. All the best to you all!!❤
我簡單的說沒錢不要生小孩 大家都受苦難
很值得討論
你這個瀏海髮型真的很年輕啊 很漂亮喔❤
Thanks all the great woman.
Great great information and thoughts from you and your frifends, Susie. Really appreciate!
西方的思辨哲学让人思维开阔，东方的顺服或等级思想让人压抑，女性比男性更压抑。