My grandpa used the Death With Dignity program in Oregon, USA in December of 2019. He was dying a slow, agonizing death of lung cancer. Literally drowning in his own lungs. He was in pain every second for months while he convinced my grandma to let him die on his own terms. Once he was approved, they did the legal process, waited the time required, and he took the meds. He was surrounded by family and got to talk to each of us. After a while of talking to him, he said "quiet now, it's time for the big sleep" He was quiet for a good while, then he said "Skippy! Come here Skippy!" Skippy was his little old dog who died a few weeks before Gampy did. He fell asleep in peace, full of love and gratitude and calm joy. I've never seen anything like it. He was at peace. There were 2 nurses with the program, called death doulas. They made the whole process seamless. The ambulance knew ahead of time to come with the lights and sirens off. And one of the biggest things in hindsight is that Gampy didn't have to go through covid and die alone. There wasn't a moment in the whole process where at least one of us wasn't holding his hand. RIP to the goofiest man I've ever known. RIP Gampy.
My mum’s mate just took the euthanasia option a few months ago. She was in her early 60s and got another brain tumour. It was only made legal in my state recently. She applied, waited for approval, then received the ‘kit’ and took it in comfort surrounded by family. Legalisation has turned euthanasia into just another bureaucratic process (as it should be!)
@@murphski702I think death doula is a perfect name! I would like to train to be one, i think having a specialist who knows the ins and outs of the death industry and relevant procedures and legislation would be an invaluable asset to anyone approaching the end of life ❤❤
I live in Oregon, in 2019 my grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.. it got to the point she opted to use the program available here. I am so thankful for the program. It allowed for a much more easier form grieving. Even my grandfather expresses appreciation for it. For the closure gained. The night of February 14th my grandmother took the pills. And layed down with my grandfather to sleep. They got to share one last valentines day together. And that's all they wanted.
As someone who lives in a state where it’s legal/also working in oncology, this is something I believe in. I’ve known patients that have taken this option, fought a good fight but knew their chances were becoming nearly impossible to succeed, and had their families by their side to make peace. People should have this choice instead of living their last days in agony.
As someone who watched my mother deteriorate for years from undiagnosed cancer, I know (she told me in fact) that the way she went, suffering and drugged was not the way she wanted her life to end. While her lack of diagnosis until it hit stage 4+ was due to the fact her doctor wouldn't listen to either of us, her suffering is tragic.
I have a simila experience. Got cancer as a teenager and ended up voting to legalize it in my state because i knew a ton of people who realized after a certain point fighting cancer is just cruel. Grandma was an oncology nurse and helped me through my cancer but once she found out her easily treatable breast cancer spread to her pancreas she just said "I've lived long enough, i dont want to deal with pancreatic cancer" and went into hospice and basically overdosed on morphine (took a reasonable dose which was too big for her super frail little old lady body to handle and died peacefully)
Except that families often don’t get to be by the person’s side and it’s often not a matter of quickly and quietly passing away. I lost my grandad to maid.
@@vlmellody51 I took my mother off life support. I didn't have them pull the ventilator because my two younger sisters were also there. I wanted to spare them them the trauma of the possible 'air hunger'. They cut all the infusing medications keeping her blood pressure up and profusing her brain. It ended in less than 15 minutes
@shannonspage9360 My grandmother had a DNR in place, so she wouldn't be intubated. The doctor in the ER ignored my mother while she tried to show him the legal documents and shoved her out of the room. By the time she got back in, her mom was hooked up to practically every machine imaginable, and the look she gave my mom broke her heart. My poor grandmother was on those contraptions and in terrible pain for an entire week before she died. I sat with her for all that time so she wouldn't be alone. It's been more than 30 years since she died, and the emotional scars have lasted with me for all these years.
When I was 17 I had a brain tumor removed. Before the surgery the doctor was giving me and my mother the risk, that I could go into a vegetative state or deep coma for years due to the surgery. I told my mother that if I was to go into a vegetative state or a deep coma. That she is to let me die and not let me wither away and hope for the best. She was confused by me being so young and saying that. But told her it’s my life, I choose how I live it and how I die if need be. We need to let people choose that are facing a great medical dilemma how they will live, or how they will die by freedom of choice.
As someone who watched a family member slowly and painfully die over a period of 2 years i'm honestly all for this, at the end of the day if someone genuinely no longer wishes to be alive and are of a sound enough mind to make that choice, then they should IMO be allowed to make it, at the end of the day its their life, and their body, they should be able to choose if they want to suffer or not Forcing someone to live so they can suffer in pain just so we can spend more time with them is inhumane
I live in Oregon state, where we have the "Death with Dignity Act." My Mom is a nurse, worked in retirement communities, did hospice cafe, and worked in Mental Health. I've worked in healthcare in some capacity for most of my life. I am glad this law exists, and that people who are suffering have the right over their own life.
My grandpa used Death With Dignity in Oregon. There were 2 nurses who were death doulas that helped the whole family through the process. The respect and well.. dignity that they showed to him was beautiful.
Famed British author Sir Terry Pratchett started campaigning for medically assisted dying when he was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers disease. Instead of dying happy and with dignity one of the best authors of the modern era was forced to deteriorate until he couldn't remember who or where he was. No one deserves to suffer like that. GNU Sir Terry Pratchett. We'll always miss you.
This is exactly why I support MAID. I have read far too many biographies of famous people who's lives have ended with Alzhimers to know that it is wrong. I don't want to spend the last few years of my life as an old man wasting away in a care ward unable to recognise anyone.
it strikes me as odd that a family will willingly, if sadly, put down the family pet to end its suffering but will insist on Grandma to suffer through debilitating pain for months even years.
@@poloponysk158 Oh you have no idea. The absolute suffering the doctors will allow and convince a family member to continue. I worked at a level 1 trauma center and then a cancer Institute. An animal is treated more humanely
@@shannonspage9360 My parent had a similar bad experience with the cancer hospital, they'll just work down the list of escalating protocols like a factory. Luckily the regular doctor was more helpful and they could make their own choices.
Because humans are not animals! Also, this practice runs the very real risk of creating lazier doctors who will be less likely to innovate new solutions to terrible diseases, and hospitals who would more easily recommend it to save costs. Everything eventually gets swallowed by capitalism.
@@JeffBilkins Yea I saw some horrific things in my time as a nurse. The intensivist (ICU doctors) would absolutely gaslight and blow smoke up the family's @ss. They would have them believing their sick family member was going to leave and be frolicking with rainbows and butterflies in the meadows.... The reality was very far far on that.
When I worked in care, one of my duties required me to sit at the bedside of a cancer patient (I hate calling him that, as he was so much more). He was given a maximum of 2 weeks to live. It took 3 months. 3 months of rapid deterioration, physical agony and paralysing fear for him. He went from vibrant and full, to nothing but a gasping corpes-like shell. He wasn't even warm. For weeks, hours a day I would sit, watching the man slowly suffer and die. I cannot even put into words the images burned into my memory, but sadly so many people have similar memories. I can't imagine watching a family member die so horrifically. Absolutely no one deserves such a fate. He was a kind, funny person. He loved ice cream. He left behind friends who loved him. He wanted to die with dignity, but couldn't.
My father died by assisted dying a little over a year ago. He was the one who brought it up to the Drs. He was 103 and would have starved to death because of an inoperable twisted bowel. I wasn’t happy about it, but it was his decision,& I could do nothing but agree with him. He was of sharp mind although his body was slowly giving up. 😢 I miss him so much.
Damn... I have an ileostomy and my 1st ostomy due to perforation. Your post hit me... Idk what to say but if I may say I sympathise and empathise with both you and he. My pops died almost a decade ago. It sucks. Let's enjoy the time here when we can. Thank you for your post.
I am so sorry for your loss, but you did the right thing in supporting his decision. I have seen family members argue the person who is sick into submission out of their own selfishness and it is heartbreaking. Again I'm sorry for your loss.
My older brother has ALS. Just today he was wondering if he'll see the spring, if we are going to be putting the boat back into the water without him.... It's easy to talk big when you're not in the situation. Who are we to choose for other people, in one way or another? To force our opinion on others? I don't know what my brother would choose but whatever it is, it's his choice and i would respect it. It's his life. His dignity.
I am so sad that your family is in this situation, so very sad about the fact that ALS Is robbing your brother and you of his life. Hugs. I too had lots of opinions about this until I was in the situation and realised the same thing you did. It should be an individual choice but we just need lots of safeguards.
If I didnt choose how I came to be on this Earth, I should have every right to choose how I exit it. A long drawn out painful death is an indignity no one should have to endure. Thats not "living" its prolonged suffering. Period.
True... the doctors and state love to see us in misery. They wont let us live in peace and even die in peace. They just wanna prolong our suffering to fill their filthy coffers. Disgusting. No one should be able to decide what we do with our bodies besides ....of cos us!
Suicide is a permananet soloution to a temporary problem, depression is temporary or treatable assisted death for terminal illnesses or progressive incurable is fine @@ashlielove6513
My dear sister was just recently diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. She has been accepted into Canada's MAID program. Having watched my mother and my husband from this horrible disease, I'm so thankful that see can determind time and place of her passing.
Because she CHOSE IT, SHE WASN'T FORCED INTO IT which is what's happening to disabled, homeless, veterans and now parents who don't want their kids. Yeah, parents can now decide to kill their kids. So no, it's not good except for the 1% who chose it. I'm glad you're sister had that choice.
@@Adonna2424 You need to get out of your echo chamber and look up things yourself instead of believing what others tell you to believe on the internet. No one can be forced into maid, that includes minors. You need to take a deep breath and go read things other than conspiracy websites. If it makes you feel better I'm disabled and looking at the criteria for maid I would easily qualify, yet a doctor has never mentioned it to me ever, and I see a lot of them.
Ultimately your body is yours. YOU are the only person who has the most comprehensive awareness of your inner & outer experiences & how those add up. Others/society spectacularly fail at sympathizing &/or empathizing ad nauseam. Enough. It is up to the individual.
As long as there’s informed consent it’s no ones business how one with terminal illness chooses to end their life . Also this video didn’t address how suicide rates rise exponentially in elderly age. So whether people like it or not, many elders are already ending their lives.
My grandmother decided (along with the rest of our family) that she wished to be euthanized. She had recurring cancer of the bowel after being declared cancer free the year prior. She didn't wish to fight and suffer any more. So, 4 years ago we got her assistance in dying. Although obviously sad and painful, we all felt it would be better she no longer suffered. Therefore, I think everyone should be free to choose this option. Recently I read an article in the newspaper about an elderly gentleman who didn't wish to live anymore. He was in his 90s and had lost his wife of 40 years to illness the year prior. Because he himself was healthy (physically that is, obviously he was grieving) he got rejected for assistance in dying. So, he took it upon himself (with consent and acceptance from his loved ones) to end it. This is something I wish didn't have to happen. Both of these stories happened in the Netherlands, so our system, while not perfect, at least helps some people who no longer wish to live. I think that is a good thing because, just like I wouldn't want my cat to suffer, I wouldn't want a human to suffer either. Every being on Earth should be able to live and die on their own terms. Love from the Netherlands ❤
Back in the 90s (US) My step father was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer and given 6 months. He was in tremendous pain. His doctor calmly explained to him and my mother how he could go about ending his suffering by taking certain combinations and amounts of his narcotic medication.
Some doctors in palliative care in Madrid got in trouble for "excessive narcotics leading to premature death" or something like that. The case was dismissed, but the reputation hit was big.
As someone with multiple chronic illnesses I've never understood why people would force loved ones to endure constant pain and distress. I understand right to die could be misused but so is pain medication, assisted care and organ transplantation. At least this way you have time to get affairs in order and say goodbye to loved ones.
I am a hospice nurse. I have seen death up close and personal for over 2 decades. Some very peaceful, some very ugly; most somewhere between the two extremes. Some conditions are painful, others are harder on the family/caregiver than on the patient. Regardless of your religious convictions, from the moment we are born, we are on an inevitable path to physical death. I believe STRONGLY in the absolute right of the patient to determine the conditions and manner of death, if they state their wishes in writing ahead of time. I am strongly opposed to anyone else making that decision in their place, beyond symptom palliation.
@@Bilow_Selhi I have a better one: what about people who respond to a legitimate conversation with straw man arguments and (willful?) lack of reading comprehension? Should we be allowed to put them out of our misery? I tend to think the answer is "yes"!
@@Bilow_Selhimental illness is every bit as real as physical illness, if they are beyond any and all intervention and THE ONE PERSON ON EARTH that actually lives inside DECIDES to say enough is enough, then so be it, its not your choice, did her choosing to end her life kill you? If not shove off
My mother signed up to the MAID program in 2022. She had gone through a really rough period physically and was given 3 months to live. She had a few med changes and she recovered amazingly. She still struggles, she is still terminally ill and can enact her plan at any moment she chooses. I am so glad she had this option, we have lost too many family members to slow painful wasting deaths. The agony and humiliation will never take her.
@@charamia9402 ya it is! When my father passed from cancer he suffered horribly. He lasted longer than the dr thought because he was so strong before he got sick. I MAID had been able back then I would have suggested it to him. We hold onto outdated morals and cause terrible suffering in people that are dying. Terminal patients do not deserve to suffer unimaginable pain before death to appease religious fanatics.
@@nikkiewhite476 It seems humanity is too preoccupied with marveling how we could save people from death, we at times fail to consider if we should... There are far worse fates than a quick passing.
My step-Aunt applied for assisted dying in Canada (MAID) and was actually given the help she needed all along. It took applying to die to get pain treatment that she was being denied/jerked around over by her regular physicians. She’s doing better and is actually starting to be able to live a life after 15 years of agony. (Edit: I still support the program)
As a woman living in Canada...they likely didn't believe she was in that much pain until she applied for MAID. Then they were like, "Oh, shit! Maybe she's telling the truth" happens far too often.
@@MaterMotely As I said (cried) to my best friend a few days ago: "I can't live like this!" She got me a pain killer and let me keep crying until I was all cried out. Most of the people who make the laws never see people like me and this thread's step-Aunt.
I watched my grandmother die. My last memories of her are of a weak, timid, fearful old woman who fretted constantly - the exact opposite of the strong, opinionated woman I had always known. Mama didn't deserve to die like that.
I've been through the cancer treatments and subsequent deaths of several people (and no, I didn't hasten things along). The last couple of months of cancer SUCK. Why would anyone want to do that? I got hospitalized for 7 months a few years ago, the last couple of months in a rehab unit. A nursing home, even a nice one, is the most depressing places ever. You're not allowed to leave, you don't get to eat what you want, you can't choose your roommate, you're at the mercy of the goodwill of underpaid strangers -- it's awful. It's not as bad as prison, of course, but its bad. I'll put a plastic bag over my head before I go through that again.
same. I had stage 3 cancer, a spinal cord injury, heart failure, liver failure, and several near lethal injuries all before age 30 and now have a body that reflects all that. Doctors were always amazed how well i took bad news and it was because i always knew I'd end up killing myself when i simply couldnt take the pain anymore. It's oddly comforting knowing that barring some act of God I'll be the one choosing when and where I die.
There's a reason we don't do that: human nature! This practice runs the very real risk of creating lazier doctors who will be less likely to innovate new solutions to terrible diseases, and hospitals who would more easily recommend it to save costs. Everything eventually gets swallowed by capitalism.
As a Canadian, I often see the antis saying stuff like “the government has killed 45,000 people since 2016!” The way I see it, that’s 45,000 people that had their suffering ended on their own terms, and I shudder to think of the tens, hundreds of thousands that were forced to die long, drawn out and horrific deaths before MAID was enacted. We don’t get to choose if we’re born, but we damn well better be able to choose when it ends.
Well the thing is though, this can also be used to just get rid of depressed people and that's where the fears come from. Letting someone with terminal illness 'sleep' is one thing, but convincing a depressed person to just end it all is another. And before you say 'its their choice', it's not because they're depressed. They are in a situation where they think irrational thoughts, thus making them vulnerable to any suggestion that might stop the pain permanently.
@@pillarmenn1936I really don't see how any doctor would knowingly sign off assisted dying for someone with depression. It's a long process that involves a lot of hoops to jump through.
@@ScarletFlame666Then you haven't heard of the situation with one veteran, and a senior, just asking for medical assistance and the ONLY assistance offered is being euthanized, or assisted death.
@pillarmenn1936 They don't just let anyone do it all willy nilly. Like, first of all one has to have a condition that isn't curable or able to be treated. Depression fits neither of those criteria.
My aunt made the choice to end things when her own MMD was getting bad enough where she was soon going to lose control of the ability to make this decision for herself. She felt like a massive burden on her family and knew there was only more pain to come with the situation inevitably deteriorating. However, when she made this decision there was no assisted daiing available so she did so on her own, in her own way. I don't really know how the rest of my family views her actions now that we are 20 years past that day but, for me, I have never faulted her. People say constantly that the choice she made, that others make every day, is selfish and that they should have thought about the pain and despair they will cause they loved ones but I have always felt that in itself to be selfish and not taking into account the way the person make that decision must have felt to get them to that point. The depths of physical and/or emotional pain that gets a person to a point where they feel there are no other options is immense and not able to be understood by people who have not themselves even been in a mental place where they have also entertained that decision. Why would you want someone in that much pain to live just so you don't have to deal with that loss? Isn't that in itself ultimately more selfish than the person who makes the decision to leave this earth? Apologies for all the hanging around certain language in this comment. I feel like it's important and I don't want it to get deleted by bots just for one "wrong" word or phrase.
Those people are cowards at best, hypocrites at worst. Somebody telling my loved one being selfish for not prolonging their own and our suffering, I would go postal.
If you truly love a person, then seeing them suffer that kind of pain should cause you more pain then losing them, knowing that they are no longer in pain. Refusing to let a person escape such pain purely because that would cause you to go through the pain of losing them is more selfish than assisted dying.
My mom was a train driver all her life. She also lost her mom to mental illness before I was born. (Not train, but truck.) Once I expressed my opinion on how selfish it is to choose to unalive oneself by train and put the driver through that. She chewed me out, saying that when you're in that state of mind, suffering that much, one can't really comprehend what it would do to others. And we are in no position to call them selfish when all we can think of is the hurt they caused US and not how much they would have been hurting to do such a thing.
Actually the people calling her selfish are the real selfish ones. They don't care about her prolonged suffering, all they wanted was to not feel bad cause she died.
My MIL has EVERY marker for early onset Alzheimer’s. We live in Oregon. Unfortunately, the law does not cover this so she has decided to move to Sweden to take advantage of their program. It is a difficult decision to make but she has spent YEARS thinking about it. It took both my wife and I a few months to come to terms but we both now support.
If I am diagnosed with dementia and I'm expecting to live for another 25 years, I want to leave this earth on my own terms before my brain is deteriorating so badly that I don't know who I am anymore.
@@gooner72what’s worse is that when your mind is gone, you can live on for another decade or so. Just an empty shell until your brain forgets how to eat (and then you’re tube fed), to move (rotated in a bed for the rest of your days) and eventually breathe, and then you finally slowly die. It’s horrifying.
my dad felt this way. but somehow he didn't notice when he'd crossed the line and ended up being starved to death after being confined in a nursing home for 2 years like @@laureng8401talks about. it was truly horrible
I feel that those who oppose death with dignity either forget or turn a blind eye to what is most important, quality of life. How is one's quality of life good if they can't properly care for themselves or consent to medications or medical procedures, or even discuss how the proposed medication or procedure could improve or worsen their current quality of life? Also, what is to be gained by the patient or loved ones by hanging on until the bitter end? Personally, I feel that one should be able to say when they have had enough and be able to say goodbye in their own time and way, especially since, at the end of it all, the only thing we have left is dignity and there is no dignity in suffering as your body breaks down and one is unable to even so much as communicate what they need or want.
@rosemariemerritt5035 so you'd support a depressed kid that's being bullied to have maid? The homeless? The mentally ill? Abused children?....oh wait no that was Hitler and even nazi party members protested euthanizing those that were a "drain on the state"
I am glad that we have this option in the Netherlands. My grandmother made the decision a long time ago that she had enough of life, she had gone from being a woman who lived independently to being bedridden in the nursing home due to paralysis after falling down the stairs. She died 3 days before her birthday, because she still wanted to have people visiting her on her birthday, but she had nothing to celebrate anymore.
I did the end of life care for my grandpa who was in horrible pain(even with morphine administered by a nurse who would come by his house) and he couldn’t remember why he was in pain. He was dying, and it felt so cruel to me that him constantly asking why he hurt so much is considered the right practice compared to dying peacefully in sleep. I didn’t want him to die, but I also loved him too much to want to see him like that. I absolutely wish there had been a kinder option for him.
Your example reminded me of something my grandmother said before months before she died. She said "You wouldn't let an animal go on like this." She wanted out, out of her failing body and mind and the last year and a half of her life was awful. She tried to take her own life and I stopped her twice, and so did my mom. Not on my watch, I'm not being held responsible. So had to remove all medications and plastic bags where she could get at them. It was sad.
The people against assisted suicide that are always making statements are never suffering from the conditions or seeing family members going through it. How come that people have the freedom to end their life when able bodied, but once they are left in a condition such as paralysis or terminal cancer that robs them of movement their rights are basically forfeit to whatever someone else wants. These people sometimes beg to die, and are told by someone else unrelated to them and of completely able body that they must suffer to the end. Some people do not want palliative care, they do not want an undignified and painful end over months no matter how good that care, usually provided at the expensive of their personal estate that they may have wished to give to their family for the future. Some people do not want to exist in that condition, and who is anyone else to tell them they are not allowed?
@@Patson20no I would stop them. I'd try to explain them maybe they shouldn't do it, but if they still choose to, I won't take away control from their life
i met my grandmother only once in my life, while she was clearly already in the process of dying. i don't think i can ever forget those few days. she was left alone, no family. she was an alcoholic all her life, so dementia had long deteriorated her mind to a point she thought my mother was her caretaker. she had last stage lung cancer, was on heavy medication and couldn't move on her own, let alone move her equipment with her. a caretaker only came once a day, bringing her packaged microwave food. she sat on her couch all day long, in front of her mobile toilet and TV that ran 24\7. she died a lonely death, with no one with her and only discovered the next day. i don't judge my mother, i can't imagine what she went through in her childhood. but i can only imagine how grateful she would've been to end life on her own volition. those two days i spend with her as a 14yo changed my whole perspective on the subject, learning she died made it even more clear. to die miserable and all alone or die without pain and cared for? is there really a question?
Last year, my auntie died in hospital. She couldn't do anything for herself. For the last few days, the nurses had to clean her because she couldn't even go to the loo by herself, and they even had to wipe the dribble around her mouth because disease had rendered her so helpless. She died slowly and painfully over several days while we all stood in that hospital room, unable to do anything except watch her die. I do not want me nor my family to go through that. If I'm ever riddled with an incurable and agonising disease, I will have one last visit with my family and my pets, and i WILL end my life, I would prefer the help of a medical professional to ensure that nothing will go wrong but I will do illegally if I have to.
If you don’t want people to kill themselves, then make this world a place where someone who is in constant pain or unable to take care of themselves will want to live. The faith sector is the ones who need to spend their money to help this idea along.
Agreed, society needs to recognise how selfish it has become and how switched off our empathy is due to not being able to see solutions due to governments overacting. We are constantly lied to by those in power 😢 to suit hidden agenda no doubt. Faith in humanity needs a real big boost !
A dear friend took this option. He had terminal cancer, he fought it even though he was diagnosed as terminal. He also knew that there would come a point he would be in levels of agony that medication would struggle to actually maintain. Once the high levels of pain killers he could take at home no longer touched the pain, this is what he chose. He wanted to live, he wanted to be healthy and have many years left, there just was no option for that, this choice allowed him to leave before the agony overcame him, able to enjoy time with his family and then say goodbye. I contrast that to the same agony that my Nan went through, she was comatose the last two weeks of her life with cancer. Even in her overdrugged state, she still moaned and groaned and writhed in pain between pain medication doses. A balance is needed to ensure it is not 'slippery sloped' but an option is still needed.
I think we need to reframe this as dying with dignity rather than assisted suicide. I also think people need more education about what it means to be a full code and how violent that is. I’m not saying healthy 25 year old should be a DNR, but when granny is 95, has many comorbidities, and is still a full code, I think most times, the education of the patient has failed.
My grandfather was assisted in Canada. I have an uncle who did too. I think that lots of consideration needs to take place, but if someone is suffering they should have the right to choose. That being said, one thing my mother in law brought up was the potential for abusing the system in regards to organ donation. She was concerned about this as a nurse who often works on transplant teams
Thank you for discussing a very important topic. I would suggest the people read Final Exit for more information on dying with dignity. I experienced my mom go through her final days in the United States and it was horrible. She wasn't in a, 'coma', but was completely non-responsive to all external stimuli. I would consider that to be death, but we (the family) had to wait for her to naturally die which took about 16 days.
My mother is 74, has stage 4 lung cancer, breast cancer, and now the Dr's think she may also have bowel cancer. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer. It was small, operable, lymph nodes not involved. Not great but we got this. Subsequent tests prepping for surgery found a mass in her lung, further testing for this showed multiple tumors throughout both lungs. This is gonna suck, but there are treatments maybe we can manage. More tests results just came through the day before Thanksgiving, showing suspicious masses in the bowels. She is now talking about quality of what's left of her life vs. the pain of extending her life at great suffering. I have no idea what she is going to choose all I can do is continue taking care of her and support what she chooses, but I am wrecked either way.
I'm so sorry you and your mom are going through this, but I'm so grateful to know that you're there for her. My mom died a little over 5 years ago, also from cancer. She'd gone through 3 major surgeries and so many rounds of chemo I'd lost count. When they scanned her head and saw that the cancer had traveled into her brain and the only option was radiation that could maybe only give her a few more months, she decided she was done. After meeting with the radiologist, she had her last appointment with her wonderful oncologist, who had treated her and advised her for years. She expressed her heavy skepticism about the radiation, and her doctor said he didn't feel that going into hospice was the end of hope - that there was a lot of hope and joy to be found in her autonomy. She decided against the radiation, and my sister and I cared for her at home until her death two months later. I had to squash down a lot of feelings at times about not speaking up during her last appointment, that maybe the radiation would have been better, that a miracle would have happened, etc. It was rough, but not nearly as rough as just how much and how terribly I missed her. Sorry... very long story. "Wrecked" is an apt term - I'm still not okay some days, but I am okay-er than I was 5 years ago. You are a treasure to your mother supporting her - especially after repeated heartbreaks of bad news and anxiety and more bad news. I don't know you, but I'm sure she's in good hands with you. Sending strength and comfort your way, regardless of what is chosen and what ultimately happens.
As a palliative care psychiatrist who has seen horrific illnesses, this should absolutely be an option. People don't even have the faintest idea of what it's like to be in such a situation. Tbh i have encountered countless families who have wanted to keep their loved ones alive even when they are suffering. NO ONE has tried to hasten their loved one's death unless there is obvious suffering.
Veterans in Canada who were seeking assistance with duty related disabilities were being encouraged to consider MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying). Cheaper for the government if veterans deleted themselves than to provide the care they owed them.
When my husband was passing from cancer he was sent home for palliative care at his request. We were given months worth of morphine to keep at home. He was gone within days. No questions were asked.
My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzhaimer’s Disease shortly after my uncle died prematurely of heart disease, It was already a difficult time for the whole family because of the then very recent loss of my uncle who was in his mid 40’s when he died and on top of it we all had to watch my grandfather slowly forgetting how to shower, eat, talk or even going to the toilet by himself until all that was left was nothing short of an empty shell of the person he once was, it was truly like watching death in slowmotion, towards the end, he was just lying lifeless on the hospital bed, completely dependent on the hospital staff to keep him alive, it was one of the most painful thing I had to witness in my life and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. And if I was to be diagnosed with Alzaimer’s when I’m older, I would honestly rather end my own life peacefully than having to go through what my grandfather had to go through before he died.
If there is no way out of a illness and it's only a matter of time. Why make that person suffer. If they say I'm done just let them make their own decision?
Most of the comments seem to be written by families of sufferers. I can write as a person who is suffering, even after all the treatments and medications possible for me. I currently have enough quality of life to go on, but I have a pact with my family. If I lose that quality of life and we can't find a solution - I will ask to die. Sadly, I don't live in a euthanasia country, but we'll do it. Suicide is often seen as a selfish decision. I believe it's far more selfish to ask people in pain, with no quality of life, to endure and suffer for your sake.
Medical aid in dying is legal in some countries, under certain circumstances, including Austria, Belgium, Germany, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland, parts of the United States and five out of six states in Australia. The constitutional courts of Colombia, Germany and Italy have legalized assisted suicide but their governments have not yet legislated or regulated the practice.
My MIL is 76 and has Parkinson's. She is going downhill fast and still has some cognitive function but that is slipping too. We live in NY where it is not legal yet, but I hope at some point it is. She wants to go out her way and is trapped inside a body that is failing and a mind that is fast failing too. She just qualified for palliative care and is now almost bed ridden. It sucks, she hates living like this and has asked us if we can move someplace where she has the assisted death option. I wish it were possible to do so. Watching her suffer is heartbreaking.
A lot of this is best dealt with by a family discussion. My mom has told my sister and I our whole lives that if she’s ever reduced to a vegetative state, we are to have her removed from life support. My mom is perfectly fine and healthy but to her being kept alive when her mind is gone is terrifying. And the same is true for us all. Terry Pratchett was my favorite author, as I am sure is true for many watching this video. After a stroke, he had Alzheimer’s disease. He wished to die with dignity before his mind was gone. It’s a choice I respect. He campaigned for his right to die with dignity. I watched my maternal grandmother decline with dementia (there’s a story behind this, but this isn’t Brain Blaze so no full in Tangent). I can imagine how Sir Pratchett felt with that horrifying reality staring him in the face. I know he wanted Rhianna (his daughter) to remember him for who he was, and not what he would be in a state of decline. He didn’t want to experience life that way. And he ultimately found someone to help him go peacefully. I feel everyone should have the choice.
My father died one year after getting diagnosed with ALS in the late 2006, he was only forty. I was a child, and though insensitive to death and on the spectrum, the impression of his rapid deterioration haunts me with chilling awareness of my own mortality and fragility even now, 18 years later. He passed in intensive care, they said his mask that forced dry air into his lungs maintaining his breathing was torn off his face. He had no muscle tone to do so alone, but at that point, existence was torment. One of my big reasons to move to Europe is getting access to countries where, if I get diagnosed with neurodegenerative disease like da or grandmother from my paternal life, who is struggling with late stage Parkinson’s, I get to die without laying this haunting burden on my own family.
I have MS, and while it alone won't kill me, I have other medical issues that most certainly will. It will be slow and painful, so I'm not going to do it. In New Zealand we have assisted dying and I'm going to use it. Why should I suffer serious physical harm to protect the feelings of people who don't know me? To those who don't like the idea I say mind your own business. If you don't like assisted dying don't use it. But for the love of god, keep your opinion to yourself, until you're the one staring at a long, painful death.
Every time I hear/read "quality of life" as the break even point when we start considering if offering dying with dignity to the person, I remember being my grandmother's caregiver, and striving to create & maintain a lifestyle that would give her a longer quality of life: making her do her walking exercises to reduce the bedsores from sitting in her arm chair otherwise & to keep her legs strong enough to carry her, giving her healthy meals to keep her bloodsugar & other medical concerns more under control. We installed door bells all over the house so she could call for me without having to yell & kept the temperature at a balmy 75-80 F (~24-27 C) year round so she'd be comfortable. My grandmother had to be chivvied into her exercises every time, and she took every excuse to eat all the sweets & rich foods she could. To this day, I cannot abide the Winchester Chime (that's the tune of the doorbell) & while I lived with her for 2 years, the temperature in the house was like a sauna and she hated that I dressed in as little as I possibly could to try and escape from sweltering. After those 2 years, I passed the baton to my aunt. With 3 months, my grandmother could no longer walk, she had extreme bedsores, and her meds had been drasticially altered to try and keep up with her diet. But, she was happy. She could be indolant and eat whatever she wanted. Until she couldn't. Until she had to have a feeding tube installed and she never tasted any of her food, but only smelled and saw it, and since it had to be mush and there was no point to adding spices...it hardly even looked appetizing. So, who provided the real "quality of life" for her? My attempt the keep her as healthy as I could for as long as i could, while fighting her the whole way? Or my aunt who gave her what she wanted, made her happy, but let her slide all the faster toward that dark night? I don't know.
I have worked with older and disabled people for years. There are things that terrify me way more than dying. While I’d personally think I’d be able to live with a permanent disability, at least a manageable one, there’s no way I’d stick around if I got diagnosed with anything terminal or that would cause me to slowly deteriorate, like dementia or Parkinson’s. Give people the choice for this and let them decide for themselves.
I'd rather die than suffer through what a lot of old people are forced to endure, maybe if care and funding were better it wouldn't be so bad but that doesn't count when there's also illness involved
6:30 "Natural lives" .... I feel I can't even begin to explain how bass ackwards that line of thinking is, but I'll briefly try. How natural is a life that consists of a piece of plastic shoved up your urethra, in addition to being hooked up to other various tubes and consciousness being only marginally bearable thanks to the insane number of painkillers created by the masterful chemistry geniuses of our age?
My grandmother didn't have this option and instead, when she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and multiple problems from previous medical procedures that would require surgeries to fix, she chose instead to forego treatment and have her feeding tube removed. It took her weeks to die of slow starvation. By the end between the pain, and the slow shut down of her body, the woman we all knew and loved was gone and she was nothing but a shell. And still all we could do was wait and watch her suffer and fade away. I will never not support death with dignity laws after watching this wonderful woman who was very much loved and respected fade painfully and slowly away.
I have see family and friends waste away Wishing for an End to the Hell of Pain and Sickness it's Truely Heart Breaking to See-Watch anyone Suffer like that and makes you understand that it's far Better to Go out on your own Choice.😢
Before my first surgery for cervical spine herniation I decided I was going to end my life if the surgery failed. The pain was so severe that my life became literally shades of grey, and the pain was all consuming. The surgery worked, and so I'm still here. However, having lived in debilitating pain, I will not subject anyone else to that if they wish to end it. It's not humane or moral to condemn people to live in pain that as severe as I have experienced.
As someone who has literally just been through this with my Mother 4 weeks ago in Australia (VAD is legal) my thoughts are: The rules are still too stringent, she couldn't start the process until 2 doctors agreed she had less than 6 months to live, which means she actually had far less time. The process takes 2-3 months roughly. Which means that at best, she was only able to save herself a few weeks of suffering. And the suffering she did endure before she was able to administer was terrible. I've also heard of instances where the process took too long, and the person's brain started shutting down and they were then deemed to not be in right mind to be able to administer, and therefore were denied their choice. The rules are there to protect the most vulnerable, I understand that. But we have built the rules around the decision that we'd rather have 1000 people suffer horribly, than 1 person be 'put down' incorrectly. Ie the needs of the very few outweigh the needs of the many. And I have a fundamental problem with that. I have no problems with the process (getting 2 doctors plus committee to sign off), but I think it should be allowed to be started once the person is known to have a terminal illness, regardless of how long its going to take for them to die, so they can get the 'paperwork' finished early, and then administering is purely on their timeline, by their choice.
As a disabled Canadian I have mixed feelings, I'm considering getting on the multi-year waitlist for euthenasia because Canada gives disabled people less money than rent is, and the foodbank only gives you a few days of expired items and you're only allowed to go once per month. It just bums me out cause if I could afford phisiotherapy a spine brace and some counselling I could get to go out and do shit and be a productive member of society, but they've decided it's easier just to kill us then to help us get better.
I live in Switzerland where assisted dying has been legal for many years. It has entered the mentalities, become accepted and I know many people who plan on doing it if they were to find their life/their illness no longer bearable. I'm 65, not sick, but I've already told my kids that if needed, that's what I'll do. It's my life, my body, my choice.
Therss a lot of safeguards that need to be ironclad as theres plenty of people that would use to get rid of say, disabled people. When i did support work, there were people whod mutter some heinous things as they walked past. Imagine one of them having power of attorney etc is scary to think about
There are safeguards against funding and assisting genocide, but that doesnt stop our government profiting from and denying it. Safeguards my arse mate.
I think this comes down to how weirdly stigmatized ending your own life is on society, which has always struck me as odd, even if you're not terminally ill and are just tired, or too sad, why is it seen as such a great sin? why do we as a society treat suicidal people as if they owe us to continue to live, should the right of self actualization, of living your life how you see fit, not also include the right to choose how and when it ends, regardless of circumstance or reason? why do you need so little justification when it comes to choosing how to live your life but so much controversy when it comes to ending it?
I think it´s insane that we can give our pets a way to not suffer a slow and painful death but terminally ill are forced to live in agony, Somemetimes frail enough to not be able to leave the bed, stewing in their own pee or faeces trapped in their own minds with nothing but their worst memmories day in and day out. Being tube feed because they stop eating, hooked up to a resperator since they can´t breath on their own anymore. Or forced to live for years with unimaginable pain that no pain killer can fix, just you and the pain that makes every movement feel like your limbs ar going to fall off, stabing pain lke someone jabbed an ice pick in to your head everyday over and over and over again. We should have as much right to our death as we have to our life.
As much as I always enjoy Simon's material, i have to say that this was a level above his usual production. Completely unbiased, and very on point. Nice work!
People should have the right to make that decision. When your quality of life is non-existant, there’s no cure, there’s no way for you to recover and you will die either imminently or in a few years, deteriorating as you go along, you should be allowed to legally make that decision. I worked in the funeral business and the amount of people that were just waiting to die and suffered throughout the remainder of their lives was sadly common. Some family members had wished they had had the option when all the person affected wanted was to not suffer anymore but it’s not legal. If I had the choice, I’d be all over that. I don’t want to be a burden or basically a vegetable until my body finally gives up. I don’t want to suffer and I don’t want my children to see me suffer and deteriorate knowing there’s nothing they can do. There’s nothing the dr’s can do. I just have to wait and die. Let me have that choice. I don’t consider this suicide. We make these choices for our animals, why can’t we have the choice for ourselves?
One thing that I would be curious about is how life insurance would be impacted. Currently (at least in the US) if someone commits suicide their life insurance is voided. Would that change if it was medically assisted?
Down here in Australia where we’ve had voluntary assisted dying started becoming legal five years ago it doesn’t change insurance pay outs. As far as I can tell policies may vary on whether suicide is covered or not, but when someone terminally ill chooses VAD the death certificate either puts down the illness they were suffering from or puts down assisted dying and the illness as cause of death. I don’t know but I expect the UK will go the same way.
I had a rare heart to heart with my mom about this in my teens after several people had died and it looked like there was gonna be another funeral soon. I told her I'd come back to haunt everyone if they ever let me end up like that. I'd rather go out on my own terms than headbutt a train to put it in words youtube will allow
I recently found your channel and I'm so happy I did because you really cover a lot of topics that are interesting. Sad to see how this video got pegged by the algorithm but hopefully that will change one day
if youve seen what happened to the japanese guy during a reactor meltdown, and how his family kept him alive well beyond sane reason, well, after a certain point, its just cruel and unnecessary
I'm originally from the Netherlands, and my family lives there. Yesterday, an aunt underwent euthanasia. She had wished to celebrate her 89th birthday later this month, but chances were poor that she'd make that, and she didn't want to suffocate. Because was likely to happen. Even though it's been years since I saw her, on account of living 2000 km away, and never having been that close to my parents' extensive family, I found/find it difficult to proces. 'Tomorrow, your aunt will die.' Don't get me wrong, I fully support the legislation and individual choice. Nobody, absolutely nobody, has the right to tell another person what to do with their life. But it's still difficult.
If the Geneva Conventions forbid torturing prisoners why is it legal to force someone who is terminally ill to suffer through horrendous pain that is far beyond what any form of torture we've dreamt up yet can cause?
The easiest way to help clear that up that I can think of would be that ever time you go to the doctor and they ask you all the insane question, asking you if you would ever chose that option so you can have a loooong history of how you felt about it. And, maybe they could help to address the people who would say yes please too it... You know, actually help out the people that may be slightly depressed. I'd totally be up for it, depending on the very strict guidelines I already have in my head. That could very easily just become part of my medical record going back however many tears I've felt this way.
If you're opposed to someone ending their agony-filled life, then you're a narcissist. *You* want them to be around for _you_ , selfishly, regardless of their lived experiences. Let's be completely real about that.
I am perfectly healthy and even assisted dying I feel would go against my religion of no suicide. That being said! Absolutely NO ONE should be forced to live a life where every moment is pain, if they wish for a dignified end give it to them. Edit: and faccui is a PoS for letting all those old people die alone with no family to surround them.
We passed this law in New Zealand a few years ago. It came down to a moral vote so MPs did not have to vote along party lines. Seems the most reasonable way to do things
This kind of legislation is a dangerous double-edged sword. As a disabled person I have heard countless horror stories of people like myself, mostly from Canada, applying for MAiD because they can't afford to stay alive, or because they have been waiting for aid for years. This is a way for the state to not have to provide necessary assistance for the most vulnerable under the pretext of "mercy".
I feel like programs like this would have more community support if they had to offer you aid first. Like.. "wanna die? Well first, let's get you proper care, take care of your worldly woes, get you out of pain. THEN you can choose to die, if resources aren't part of your decision."
As a disabled canadian myself, my biggest issue with those horror stories is I can't verify them. A lot of them seem to be fake and scare tactics. i'm sure some are real but when you cite sources and try to find real numbers, it looks a lot less scary. Basically never trust anything you see on social media, it's probably fake,
People having rights over their own bodies is never double edged sword. If someone wants to end it, no one should be able to forcefully take away their choice
My partner’s grandfather has had dementia for the past decade. He was adamant that he NEVER wanted to have his life be like this, being a body to take care of. But euthanasia is illegal here, so his last wishes are ignored while his body slowly, slowly dies after the mind is long gone. It’s cruel and heartbreaking.
Both, actually. If it's legal then there are going to be people manipulated into doing it even though they don't really want to. If it's illegal, then people are going to be forced to suffer in ways they do not want to, even if it's due to a botched unaliving attempt without medical assistance. But who is being more selfish? The person who doesn't want to be manipulated into unaliving expecting millions to suffer for their inability to say no? The person who doesn't want to keep suffering for who knows how long being unconcerned about others unaliving a few years earlier than absolutely necessary? My STRONG bias probably shows in my phrasing of the dilemma.
Choosing death over pain, sickness without hope, grinding deterioration should be an individuals prerogative. Not the prerogative of a religious figure. Choosing death over being a burden to others is noble. It is seen in cultures that do not pretend to have unlimited resources. No solution is without drawbacks or risks, making clear headed law essential. Fear has paralyzed us for too long. I want sovereignty over my body. I do not surrender it to the church or the fearful.
My uncle had many respiratory issues for many years, and after a certain point, he chose assisted "termination" to end his suffering. The whole family was in agreement with his choice. Thankfully here in Canada, it is totally legal.
When my husband was only 10, he watched his father slowly suffer, deteriorate, and die from cancer. By the time he was at the state where he was just in hospice care, he was no longer the same man who my husband had known. Just this year, one of my dearest friends had to watch a beloved friend of ours die after a 4 year battle with cancer. My own grandmother died of ALS. One of my goals for 2025 is, despite the fact that I'm not even in my 40s yet, to set up advance directives for both myself and my husband - included in mine will be a DNR order, and my husband knows that one of my wishes is, if I were to be diagnosed with something like ALS or something terminal, that we move somewhere with death with dignity laws. The very idea of being trapped in a failing body is something that is a nightmare for me. While he wasn't a person, my dog of 17 years had a stroke and had to be put down just a few weeks ago. I could ensure that he passed peacefully, surrounded by love and comfort. Why wouldn't I want that option for myself and people I love?
so my personal experience with this was via my mom, who was dying of primary lung cancer (though her lungs were at that point clean), she was in tremendous pain but she wasn't yet fading out - she was regularly up and around, just in excruciating pain and she knew it was only going to get worse - why go through that? She kept asking me to find a way to get her into some kind of assisted suicide program out of state or even overseas, but at the time there was no realistic option for that at all. I actually did a lot of digging and it was horrible to tell her each time I found a dead end "no that one won't work"! This question: "how to be sure the dying person can be of sound mind to make such a decision" - basically as they are in distress as they are facing their own death? "Feeling hopeless?" Erm - YEAH. That's actually a very sane reaction once you are dying as YOU ARE DYING! There is nothing to hope for aside from as little suffering as possible, but that's not allowed so no hope there. "Feeling anxious and afraid?" DITTO! That argument just pisses me off - the emotional toll of facing down a horrible death is not something you can medicate away, and the idea that psychological treatment needs to be attempted and proven to not be "effective" is just inane. So with my mom (even though she had no option for assisted suicide) they put her on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds "just in case". IN CASE WHAT?! Newsflash: she didn't feel any better at all, as get this: she was already dying a very painful death. I'm sorry to get worked up but it makes me want to scream. I would not wish the suffering and indignity she went through on my worst enemy. Seriously, it's like torture. And then the absolute BS the "system" throws on top of it which I won't even get into - at base it is cruel and unusual, what we force the dying to endure in so many cases. In the end she died much more quickly than her oncologist predicted. Seems she just *may* have been overmedicated with fentanyl for pain management (ahem). Sincere and deep thanks to you, doc.
I feel like anyone who sees their loved one go through an extreme illness SHOULD understand their choice if they want to die. Chronic pain and illness is torture both to live in and to watch, it feels cruel at times, if not all times, to watch them struggle on when they just want rest. And I feel like while we obviously need guardrails in place on this sort of thing, we owe it to them to let them chose how they go out
Being disabled and knowing a lot of disabled folks, Assisted Dying is kind of at a strange point where on one hand body autonomy rights dictate one should be able to die if they choose, but also seen cases of disabled people being not so gently encouraged to apply for it by ableist healthcare personel trying to guilty trip people for being a 'drain on the economy' and 'burden on their families' and there's already been cases of accomodations and quality-of-life-improvsing surgeries being denied due to costs
The consideration of morality is muddied by religious beliefs. Most notably, the worry that you will go to Hell (or its equivalent) if you assist someone in dying.
Assisting is not the same as allowing anyone to make their decision. If you don't want to assist, don't assist. But don't deny others the option to choose over their own lives.
My grandpa used the Death With Dignity program in Oregon, USA in December of 2019. He was dying a slow, agonizing death of lung cancer. Literally drowning in his own lungs. He was in pain every second for months while he convinced my grandma to let him die on his own terms. Once he was approved, they did the legal process, waited the time required, and he took the meds. He was surrounded by family and got to talk to each of us. After a while of talking to him, he said "quiet now, it's time for the big sleep" He was quiet for a good while, then he said "Skippy! Come here Skippy!" Skippy was his little old dog who died a few weeks before Gampy did. He fell asleep in peace, full of love and gratitude and calm joy. I've never seen anything like it. He was at peace. There were 2 nurses with the program, called death doulas. They made the whole process seamless. The ambulance knew ahead of time to come with the lights and sirens off.
And one of the biggest things in hindsight is that Gampy didn't have to go through covid and die alone. There wasn't a moment in the whole process where at least one of us wasn't holding his hand.
RIP to the goofiest man I've ever known.
RIP Gampy.
Thts heartwarming.
My mum’s mate just took the euthanasia option a few months ago. She was in her early 60s and got another brain tumour. It was only made legal in my state recently.
She applied, waited for approval, then received the ‘kit’ and took it in comfort surrounded by family.
Legalisation has turned euthanasia into just another bureaucratic process (as it should be!)
And may his dear soul RIP with Skippy .
This is exactly the situation it's meant for. We need a better name for the doulas though. RIP to your Gampy.
@@murphski702I think death doula is a perfect name! I would like to train to be one, i think having a specialist who knows the ins and outs of the death industry and relevant procedures and legislation would be an invaluable asset to anyone approaching the end of life ❤❤
I live in Oregon, in 2019 my grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.. it got to the point she opted to use the program available here. I am so thankful for the program. It allowed for a much more easier form grieving. Even my grandfather expresses appreciation for it. For the closure gained.
The night of February 14th my grandmother took the pills. And layed down with my grandfather to sleep. They got to share one last valentines day together. And that's all they wanted.
That's so lovely 😢😢😢❤
Oh fuck im crying
As someone who lives in a state where it’s legal/also working in oncology, this is something I believe in. I’ve known patients that have taken this option, fought a good fight but knew their chances were becoming nearly impossible to succeed, and had their families by their side to make peace. People should have this choice instead of living their last days in agony.
As someone who watched my mother deteriorate for years from undiagnosed cancer, I know (she told me in fact) that the way she went, suffering and drugged was not the way she wanted her life to end. While her lack of diagnosis until it hit stage 4+ was due to the fact her doctor wouldn't listen to either of us, her suffering is tragic.
I have a simila experience. Got cancer as a teenager and ended up voting to legalize it in my state because i knew a ton of people who realized after a certain point fighting cancer is just cruel. Grandma was an oncology nurse and helped me through my cancer but once she found out her easily treatable breast cancer spread to her pancreas she just said "I've lived long enough, i dont want to deal with pancreatic cancer" and went into hospice and basically overdosed on morphine (took a reasonable dose which was too big for her super frail little old lady body to handle and died peacefully)
Except that families often don’t get to be by the person’s side and it’s often not a matter of quickly and quietly passing away. I lost my grandad to maid.
As Putin might say, he chose to end his life by falling 50 flights - upstairs !
@@karma_in_affect so do you support depressed kids having maid?
I’ve watched loved ones die. Slowly and agonizingly. In the end, they remembered no one and were in constant pain. I don’t want to die that way.
As no one does.
My late mother died that way last summer. She didn't want it, but the state she lived in has made euthanasia illegal.
@@vlmellody51 I took my mother off life support. I didn't have them pull the ventilator because my two younger sisters were also there. I wanted to spare them them the trauma of the possible 'air hunger'. They cut all the infusing medications keeping her blood pressure up and profusing her brain. It ended in less than 15 minutes
The horror stories of dementia have made me want to put a plan in place in case I start going down that road, it sounds like a living hell
@shannonspage9360 My grandmother had a DNR in place, so she wouldn't be intubated. The doctor in the ER ignored my mother while she tried to show him the legal documents and shoved her out of the room. By the time she got back in, her mom was hooked up to practically every machine imaginable, and the look she gave my mom broke her heart.
My poor grandmother was on those contraptions and in terrible pain for an entire week before she died. I sat with her for all that time so she wouldn't be alone.
It's been more than 30 years since she died, and the emotional scars have lasted with me for all these years.
When I was 17 I had a brain tumor removed. Before the surgery the doctor was giving me and my mother the risk, that I could go into a vegetative state or deep coma for years due to the surgery. I told my mother that if I was to go into a vegetative state or a deep coma. That she is to let me die and not let me wither away and hope for the best. She was confused by me being so young and saying that. But told her it’s my life, I choose how I live it and how I die if need be.
We need to let people choose that are facing a great medical dilemma how they will live, or how they will die by freedom of choice.
As someone who watched a family member slowly and painfully die over a period of 2 years i'm honestly all for this, at the end of the day if someone genuinely no longer wishes to be alive and are of a sound enough mind to make that choice, then they should IMO be allowed to make it, at the end of the day its their life, and their body, they should be able to choose if they want to suffer or not
Forcing someone to live so they can suffer in pain just so we can spend more time with them is inhumane
I live in Oregon state, where we have the "Death with Dignity Act." My Mom is a nurse, worked in retirement communities, did hospice cafe, and worked in Mental Health. I've worked in healthcare in some capacity for most of my life. I am glad this law exists, and that people who are suffering have the right over their own life.
My grandpa used Death With Dignity in Oregon. There were 2 nurses who were death doulas that helped the whole family through the process. The respect and well.. dignity that they showed to him was beautiful.
Famed British author Sir Terry Pratchett started campaigning for medically assisted dying when he was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers disease.
Instead of dying happy and with dignity one of the best authors of the modern era was forced to deteriorate until he couldn't remember who or where he was. No one deserves to suffer like that.
GNU Sir Terry Pratchett.
We'll always miss you.
This is exactly why I support MAID. I have read far too many biographies of famous people who's lives have ended with Alzhimers to know that it is wrong. I don't want to spend the last few years of my life as an old man wasting away in a care ward unable to recognise anyone.
it strikes me as odd that a family will willingly, if sadly, put down the family pet to end its suffering but will insist on Grandma to suffer through debilitating pain for months even years.
@@poloponysk158 Oh you have no idea. The absolute suffering the doctors will allow and convince a family member to continue. I worked at a level 1 trauma center and then a cancer Institute. An animal is treated more humanely
@@shannonspage9360 My parent had a similar bad experience with the cancer hospital, they'll just work down the list of escalating protocols like a factory.
Luckily the regular doctor was more helpful and they could make their own choices.
Because humans are not animals!
Also, this practice runs the very real risk of creating lazier doctors who will be less likely to innovate new solutions to terrible diseases, and hospitals who would more easily recommend it to save costs.
Everything eventually gets swallowed by capitalism.
Its not up to the family whether or not to put down their grandmother
@@JeffBilkins Yea I saw some horrific things in my time as a nurse. The intensivist (ICU doctors) would absolutely gaslight and blow smoke up the family's @ss. They would have them believing their sick family member was going to leave and be frolicking with rainbows and butterflies in the meadows.... The reality was very far far on that.
When I worked in care, one of my duties required me to sit at the bedside of a cancer patient (I hate calling him that, as he was so much more). He was given a maximum of 2 weeks to live. It took 3 months. 3 months of rapid deterioration, physical agony and paralysing fear for him. He went from vibrant and full, to nothing but a gasping corpes-like shell. He wasn't even warm. For weeks, hours a day I would sit, watching the man slowly suffer and die. I cannot even put into words the images burned into my memory, but sadly so many people have similar memories. I can't imagine watching a family member die so horrifically.
Absolutely no one deserves such a fate. He was a kind, funny person. He loved ice cream. He left behind friends who loved him. He wanted to die with dignity, but couldn't.
My father died by assisted dying a little over a year ago. He was the one who brought it up to the Drs. He was 103 and would have starved to death because of an inoperable twisted bowel. I wasn’t happy about it, but it was his decision,& I could do nothing but agree with him. He was of sharp mind although his body was slowly giving up. 😢 I miss him so much.
Situations like your father's are the most painful to hear about. You have my sympathies.
Damn... I have an ileostomy and my 1st ostomy due to perforation.
Your post hit me...
Idk what to say but if I may say I sympathise and empathise with both you and he. My pops died almost a decade ago. It sucks.
Let's enjoy the time here when we can. Thank you for your post.
I am so sorry for your loss, but you did the right thing in supporting his decision. I have seen family members argue the person who is sick into submission out of their own selfishness and it is heartbreaking. Again I'm sorry for your loss.
103 ...what an amazing life he must of lead ... tragic ...i hope in the days to come you will remember the best of times
My older brother has ALS. Just today he was wondering if he'll see the spring, if we are going to be putting the boat back into the water without him.... It's easy to talk big when you're not in the situation.
Who are we to choose for other people, in one way or another? To force our opinion on others? I don't know what my brother would choose but whatever it is, it's his choice and i would respect it. It's his life. His dignity.
Very compelling statement. Very.
@@alaric_ so you support kids hanging themselves then?
I am so sad that your family is in this situation, so very sad about the fact that ALS Is robbing your brother and you of his life. Hugs. I too had lots of opinions about this until I was in the situation and realised the same thing you did. It should be an individual choice but we just need lots of safeguards.
My condolences, I lost my sister to ALS last year, almost exactly a year ago. It is a horrible disease.
Completely different from “assisted “ suicide
If I didnt choose how I came to be on this Earth, I should have every right to choose how I exit it. A long drawn out painful death is an indignity no one should have to endure. Thats not "living" its prolonged suffering. Period.
True... the doctors and state love to see us in misery. They wont let us live in peace and even die in peace. They just wanna prolong our suffering to fill their filthy coffers. Disgusting. No one should be able to decide what we do with our bodies besides ....of cos us!
@Patson20 Of course not. They can't consent.
@ashlielove6513 why not? They don't deserve dignity too? Should their parents be able to give consent for them?
Suicide is a permananet soloution to a temporary problem, depression is temporary or treatable
assisted death for terminal illnesses or progressive incurable is fine
@@ashlielove6513
@@Patson20 Jesus, strawman much?
My dear sister was just recently diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. She has been accepted into Canada's MAID program. Having watched my mother and my husband from this horrible disease, I'm so thankful that see can determind time and place of her passing.
Because she CHOSE IT, SHE WASN'T FORCED INTO IT which is what's happening to disabled, homeless, veterans and now parents who don't want their kids. Yeah, parents can now decide to kill their kids. So no, it's not good except for the 1% who chose it. I'm glad you're sister had that choice.
@@Adonna2424 You need to get out of your echo chamber and look up things yourself instead of believing what others tell you to believe on the internet. No one can be forced into maid, that includes minors. You need to take a deep breath and go read things other than conspiracy websites. If it makes you feel better I'm disabled and looking at the criteria for maid I would easily qualify, yet a doctor has never mentioned it to me ever, and I see a lot of them.
Yea the can be forced@@venera13
@@Adonna2424Cite one case where that has happened
@Adonna2424 That sounds terrible. Do you have credible sources that we can use as a starting point into this?
Ultimately your body is yours. YOU are the only person who has the most comprehensive awareness of your inner & outer experiences & how those add up. Others/society spectacularly fail at sympathizing &/or empathizing ad nauseam. Enough. It is up to the individual.
As long as there’s informed consent it’s no ones business how one with terminal illness chooses to end their life . Also this video didn’t address how suicide rates rise exponentially in elderly age. So whether people like it or not, many elders are already ending their lives.
Do you classify mental illness as terminal?
@@ZasukiJeanNo, and a mentally ill person wouldn’t be able in give informed consent. However I’m not an expert on mental health.
Define "informed consent"?
Some times you just get to old.
@geoarambula139 depending where my friend is on a bunch of mental meds and checked into it Maryland and New Jersey allow it for her😢
My grandmother decided (along with the rest of our family) that she wished to be euthanized. She had recurring cancer of the bowel after being declared cancer free the year prior. She didn't wish to fight and suffer any more. So, 4 years ago we got her assistance in dying. Although obviously sad and painful, we all felt it would be better she no longer suffered. Therefore, I think everyone should be free to choose this option.
Recently I read an article in the newspaper about an elderly gentleman who didn't wish to live anymore. He was in his 90s and had lost his wife of 40 years to illness the year prior. Because he himself was healthy (physically that is, obviously he was grieving) he got rejected for assistance in dying. So, he took it upon himself (with consent and acceptance from his loved ones) to end it. This is something I wish didn't have to happen.
Both of these stories happened in the Netherlands, so our system, while not perfect, at least helps some people who no longer wish to live. I think that is a good thing because, just like I wouldn't want my cat to suffer, I wouldn't want a human to suffer either. Every being on Earth should be able to live and die on their own terms.
Love from the Netherlands ❤
Back in the 90s (US) My step father was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer and given 6 months. He was in tremendous pain. His doctor calmly explained to him and my mother how he could go about ending his suffering by taking certain combinations and amounts of his narcotic medication.
Some doctors in palliative care in Madrid got in trouble for "excessive narcotics leading to premature death" or something like that. The case was dismissed, but the reputation hit was big.
As someone with multiple chronic illnesses I've never understood why people would force loved ones to endure constant pain and distress. I understand right to die could be misused but so is pain medication, assisted care and organ transplantation. At least this way you have time to get affairs in order and say goodbye to loved ones.
I am a hospice nurse. I have seen death up close and personal for over 2 decades. Some very peaceful, some very ugly; most somewhere between the two extremes. Some conditions are painful, others are harder on the family/caregiver than on the patient. Regardless of your religious convictions, from the moment we are born, we are on an inevitable path to physical death. I believe STRONGLY in the absolute right of the patient to determine the conditions and manner of death, if they state their wishes in writing ahead of time. I am strongly opposed to anyone else making that decision in their place, beyond symptom palliation.
What about a healthy 30 year old who feels sad a lot? Should they be allowed to kill themselves?
@@Bilow_Selhi I have a better one: what about people who respond to a legitimate conversation with straw man arguments and (willful?) lack of reading comprehension? Should we be allowed to put them out of our misery? I tend to think the answer is "yes"!
@@lisar3944 Zoraya ter Beek - she was 29 years old. Find the tallest building in new york and practice the swan dive from it.
@@lisar3944 Zoraya ter Beek - she was 29 years old. Have a GREAT day. In case any of my INCREDIBLY worded responses get removed. Filth.
@@Bilow_Selhimental illness is every bit as real as physical illness, if they are beyond any and all intervention and THE ONE PERSON ON EARTH that actually lives inside DECIDES to say enough is enough, then so be it, its not your choice, did her choosing to end her life kill you? If not shove off
My mother signed up to the MAID program in 2022. She had gone through a really rough period physically and was given 3 months to live.
She had a few med changes and she recovered amazingly. She still struggles, she is still terminally ill and can enact her plan at any moment she chooses. I am so glad she had this option, we have lost too many family members to slow painful wasting deaths. The agony and humiliation will never take her.
That sounds oddly comforting. To know that she can enjoy life while it's still enjoyable and opt out when she no longer finds it bearable.
@@charamia9402 ya it is! When my father passed from cancer he suffered horribly. He lasted longer than the dr thought because he was so strong before he got sick. I MAID had been able back then I would have suggested it to him.
We hold onto outdated morals and cause terrible suffering in people that are dying. Terminal patients do not deserve to suffer unimaginable pain before death to appease religious fanatics.
@@nikkiewhite476 It seems humanity is too preoccupied with marveling how we could save people from death, we at times fail to consider if we should... There are far worse fates than a quick passing.
My step-Aunt applied for assisted dying in Canada (MAID) and was actually given the help she needed all along. It took applying to die to get pain treatment that she was being denied/jerked around over by her regular physicians. She’s doing better and is actually starting to be able to live a life after 15 years of agony.
(Edit: I still support the program)
Thank you for stating that you still support the MAID program. That's quite enlightened
As a woman living in Canada...they likely didn't believe she was in that much pain until she applied for MAID. Then they were like, "Oh, shit! Maybe she's telling the truth" happens far too often.
She's lucky, she got help. Most don't and end up dying even though they don't want to.
@@MaterMotely My thoughts exactly.
@@MaterMotely As I said (cried) to my best friend a few days ago: "I can't live like this!"
She got me a pain killer and let me keep crying until I was all cried out.
Most of the people who make the laws never see people like me and this thread's step-Aunt.
I watched my grandmother die.
My last memories of her are of a weak, timid, fearful old woman who fretted constantly - the exact opposite of the strong, opinionated woman I had always known.
Mama didn't deserve to die like that.
I've been through the cancer treatments and subsequent deaths of several people (and no, I didn't hasten things along). The last couple of months of cancer SUCK. Why would anyone want to do that?
I got hospitalized for 7 months a few years ago, the last couple of months in a rehab unit. A nursing home, even a nice one, is the most depressing places ever. You're not allowed to leave, you don't get to eat what you want, you can't choose your roommate, you're at the mercy of the goodwill of underpaid strangers -- it's awful. It's not as bad as prison, of course, but its bad. I'll put a plastic bag over my head before I go through that again.
I'm in constant pain and I want to choose when I've had enough.
same. I had stage 3 cancer, a spinal cord injury, heart failure, liver failure, and several near lethal injuries all before age 30 and now have a body that reflects all that. Doctors were always amazed how well i took bad news and it was because i always knew I'd end up killing myself when i simply couldnt take the pain anymore. It's oddly comforting knowing that barring some act of God I'll be the one choosing when and where I die.
I’ve been a registered nurse for 20 years and I’m a huge supporter of right to die issues. If we are autonomous, why are we denied the right to die?
You have the right to die just not to be assisted by someone else to do it
@@caldera11yes i do have that right
There's a reason we don't do that: human nature!
This practice runs the very real risk of creating lazier doctors who will be less likely to innovate new solutions to terrible diseases, and hospitals who would more easily recommend it to save costs.
Everything eventually gets swallowed by capitalism.
@@marjabeverwijk5630not really.
@@caldera11Wrong. Sit down. Be silent.
As a Canadian, I often see the antis saying stuff like “the government has killed 45,000 people since 2016!”
The way I see it, that’s 45,000 people that had their suffering ended on their own terms, and I shudder to think of the tens, hundreds of thousands that were forced to die long, drawn out and horrific deaths before MAID was enacted.
We don’t get to choose if we’re born, but we damn well better be able to choose when it ends.
Well the thing is though, this can also be used to just get rid of depressed people and that's where the fears come from. Letting someone with terminal illness 'sleep' is one thing, but convincing a depressed person to just end it all is another.
And before you say 'its their choice', it's not because they're depressed. They are in a situation where they think irrational thoughts, thus making them vulnerable to any suggestion that might stop the pain permanently.
@@pillarmenn1936I really don't see how any doctor would knowingly sign off assisted dying for someone with depression. It's a long process that involves a lot of hoops to jump through.
@@ScarletFlame666Then you haven't heard of the situation with one veteran, and a senior, just asking for medical assistance and the ONLY assistance offered is being euthanized, or assisted death.
@pillarmenn1936 They don't just let anyone do it all willy nilly. Like, first of all one has to have a condition that isn't curable or able to be treated. Depression fits neither of those criteria.
@@pillarmenn1936 And that's not even getting into MAiD being used to get rid of poor/homeless people.
My aunt made the choice to end things when her own MMD was getting bad enough where she was soon going to lose control of the ability to make this decision for herself. She felt like a massive burden on her family and knew there was only more pain to come with the situation inevitably deteriorating. However, when she made this decision there was no assisted daiing available so she did so on her own, in her own way. I don't really know how the rest of my family views her actions now that we are 20 years past that day but, for me, I have never faulted her. People say constantly that the choice she made, that others make every day, is selfish and that they should have thought about the pain and despair they will cause they loved ones but I have always felt that in itself to be selfish and not taking into account the way the person make that decision must have felt to get them to that point. The depths of physical and/or emotional pain that gets a person to a point where they feel there are no other options is immense and not able to be understood by people who have not themselves even been in a mental place where they have also entertained that decision. Why would you want someone in that much pain to live just so you don't have to deal with that loss? Isn't that in itself ultimately more selfish than the person who makes the decision to leave this earth?
Apologies for all the hanging around certain language in this comment. I feel like it's important and I don't want it to get deleted by bots just for one "wrong" word or phrase.
Those people are cowards at best, hypocrites at worst.
Somebody telling my loved one being selfish for not prolonging their own and our suffering, I would go postal.
If you truly love a person, then seeing them suffer that kind of pain should cause you more pain then losing them, knowing that they are no longer in pain.
Refusing to let a person escape such pain purely because that would cause you to go through the pain of losing them is more selfish than assisted dying.
My mom was a train driver all her life. She also lost her mom to mental illness before I was born. (Not train, but truck.) Once I expressed my opinion on how selfish it is to choose to unalive oneself by train and put the driver through that. She chewed me out, saying that when you're in that state of mind, suffering that much, one can't really comprehend what it would do to others. And we are in no position to call them selfish when all we can think of is the hurt they caused US and not how much they would have been hurting to do such a thing.
Beautifully put!
Actually the people calling her selfish are the real selfish ones. They don't care about her prolonged suffering, all they wanted was to not feel bad cause she died.
Once you come to terms with the fact that there are far worse things that can happen to you then dying it puts this topic into perspective.
Dying's not even in the top 100.
bump into friend: "hey, how you doing?"
me: "i'm alive"
friend: "beats the alternatie"
me: "not really"
My MIL has EVERY marker for early onset Alzheimer’s. We live in Oregon. Unfortunately, the law does not cover this so she has decided to move to Sweden to take advantage of their program. It is a difficult decision to make but she has spent YEARS thinking about it. It took both my wife and I a few months to come to terms but we both now support.
If I am diagnosed with dementia and I'm expecting to live for another 25 years, I want to leave this earth on my own terms before my brain is deteriorating so badly that I don't know who I am anymore.
That's exactly what I think, if I'm not me and I don't even know who I am and/or know who my loved ones are, what's the bloody point????
@@gooner72what’s worse is that when your mind is gone, you can live on for another decade or so. Just an empty shell until your brain forgets how to eat (and then you’re tube fed), to move (rotated in a bed for the rest of your days) and eventually breathe, and then you finally slowly die. It’s horrifying.
my dad felt this way. but somehow he didn't notice when he'd crossed the line and ended up being starved to death after being confined in a nursing home for 2 years like @@laureng8401talks about. it was truly horrible
I feel that those who oppose death with dignity either forget or turn a blind eye to what is most important, quality of life. How is one's quality of life good if they can't properly care for themselves or consent to medications or medical procedures, or even discuss how the proposed medication or procedure could improve or worsen their current quality of life? Also, what is to be gained by the patient or loved ones by hanging on until the bitter end? Personally, I feel that one should be able to say when they have had enough and be able to say goodbye in their own time and way, especially since, at the end of it all, the only thing we have left is dignity and there is no dignity in suffering as your body breaks down and one is unable to even so much as communicate what they need or want.
There are a lot of mother Teresa sadists in this world.
@rosemariemerritt5035 so you'd support a depressed kid that's being bullied to have maid? The homeless? The mentally ill? Abused children?....oh wait no that was Hitler and even nazi party members protested euthanizing those that were a "drain on the state"
I am glad that we have this option in the Netherlands.
My grandmother made the decision a long time ago that she had enough of life, she had gone from being a woman who lived independently to being bedridden in the nursing home due to paralysis after falling down the stairs. She died 3 days before her birthday, because she still wanted to have people visiting her on her birthday, but she had nothing to celebrate anymore.
I did the end of life care for my grandpa who was in horrible pain(even with morphine administered by a nurse who would come by his house) and he couldn’t remember why he was in pain. He was dying, and it felt so cruel to me that him constantly asking why he hurt so much is considered the right practice compared to dying peacefully in sleep. I didn’t want him to die, but I also loved him too much to want to see him like that. I absolutely wish there had been a kinder option for him.
Your example reminded me of something my grandmother said before months before she died. She said "You wouldn't let an animal go on like this." She wanted out, out of her failing body and mind and the last year and a half of her life was awful. She tried to take her own life and I stopped her twice, and so did my mom. Not on my watch, I'm not being held responsible. So had to remove all medications and plastic bags where she could get at them. It was sad.
The people against assisted suicide that are always making statements are never suffering from the conditions or seeing family members going through it. How come that people have the freedom to end their life when able bodied, but once they are left in a condition such as paralysis or terminal cancer that robs them of movement their rights are basically forfeit to whatever someone else wants. These people sometimes beg to die, and are told by someone else unrelated to them and of completely able body that they must suffer to the end. Some people do not want palliative care, they do not want an undignified and painful end over months no matter how good that care, usually provided at the expensive of their personal estate that they may have wished to give to their family for the future. Some people do not want to exist in that condition, and who is anyone else to tell them they are not allowed?
At least in Europe we don't have to care about palliative care draining our state.
So would you try and stop a 16 year old from jumping off a bridge ?
@@BaldorceteI remember that people used to be upset that Hitler started that movement
Spot on, these are my exact thoughts so I appreciate you saving me some typing.
@@Patson20no I would stop them. I'd try to explain them maybe they shouldn't do it, but if they still choose to, I won't take away control from their life
i met my grandmother only once in my life, while she was clearly already in the process of dying. i don't think i can ever forget those few days. she was left alone, no family. she was an alcoholic all her life, so dementia had long deteriorated her mind to a point she thought my mother was her caretaker. she had last stage lung cancer, was on heavy medication and couldn't move on her own, let alone move her equipment with her. a caretaker only came once a day, bringing her packaged microwave food. she sat on her couch all day long, in front of her mobile toilet and TV that ran 24\7. she died a lonely death, with no one with her and only discovered the next day.
i don't judge my mother, i can't imagine what she went through in her childhood. but i can only imagine how grateful she would've been to end life on her own volition. those two days i spend with her as a 14yo changed my whole perspective on the subject, learning she died made it even more clear.
to die miserable and all alone or die without pain and cared for? is there really a question?
Last year, my auntie died in hospital. She couldn't do anything for herself. For the last few days, the nurses had to clean her because she couldn't even go to the loo by herself, and they even had to wipe the dribble around her mouth because disease had rendered her so helpless. She died slowly and painfully over several days while we all stood in that hospital room, unable to do anything except watch her die. I do not want me nor my family to go through that. If I'm ever riddled with an incurable and agonising disease, I will have one last visit with my family and my pets, and i WILL end my life, I would prefer the help of a medical professional to ensure that nothing will go wrong but I will do illegally if I have to.
If you don’t want people to kill themselves, then make this world a place where someone who is in constant pain or unable to take care of themselves will want to live. The faith sector is the ones who need to spend their money to help this idea along.
Agreed, society needs to recognise how selfish it has become and how switched off our empathy is due to not being able to see solutions due to governments overacting. We are constantly lied to by those in power 😢 to suit hidden agenda no doubt. Faith in humanity needs a real big boost !
What a Faith" sector is interested is to lie, abuse,protect pedofils and insist so all that is made in "God's Will "😕 they are worst ever.
There are a lot of parallels between this issue and the "abortion rights" issue.
A dear friend took this option. He had terminal cancer, he fought it even though he was diagnosed as terminal. He also knew that there would come a point he would be in levels of agony that medication would struggle to actually maintain. Once the high levels of pain killers he could take at home no longer touched the pain, this is what he chose. He wanted to live, he wanted to be healthy and have many years left, there just was no option for that, this choice allowed him to leave before the agony overcame him, able to enjoy time with his family and then say goodbye. I contrast that to the same agony that my Nan went through, she was comatose the last two weeks of her life with cancer. Even in her overdrugged state, she still moaned and groaned and writhed in pain between pain medication doses. A balance is needed to ensure it is not 'slippery sloped' but an option is still needed.
I think we need to reframe this as dying with dignity rather than assisted suicide. I also think people need more education about what it means to be a full code and how violent that is. I’m not saying healthy 25 year old should be a DNR, but when granny is 95, has many comorbidities, and is still a full code, I think most times, the education of the patient has failed.
My grandfather was assisted in Canada. I have an uncle who did too. I think that lots of consideration needs to take place, but if someone is suffering they should have the right to choose.
That being said, one thing my mother in law brought up was the potential for abusing the system in regards to organ donation. She was concerned about this as a nurse who often works on transplant teams
Thank you for discussing a very important topic. I would suggest the people read Final Exit for more information on dying with dignity. I experienced my mom go through her final days in the United States and it was horrible. She wasn't in a, 'coma', but was completely non-responsive to all external stimuli. I would consider that to be death, but we (the family) had to wait for her to naturally die which took about 16 days.
My mother is 74, has stage 4 lung cancer, breast cancer, and now the Dr's think she may also have bowel cancer. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer. It was small, operable, lymph nodes not involved. Not great but we got this. Subsequent tests prepping for surgery found a mass in her lung, further testing for this showed multiple tumors throughout both lungs. This is gonna suck, but there are treatments maybe we can manage. More tests results just came through the day before Thanksgiving, showing suspicious masses in the bowels. She is now talking about quality of what's left of her life vs. the pain of extending her life at great suffering. I have no idea what she is going to choose all I can do is continue taking care of her and support what she chooses, but I am wrecked either way.
I'm so sorry you and your mom are going through this, but I'm so grateful to know that you're there for her. My mom died a little over 5 years ago, also from cancer. She'd gone through 3 major surgeries and so many rounds of chemo I'd lost count. When they scanned her head and saw that the cancer had traveled into her brain and the only option was radiation that could maybe only give her a few more months, she decided she was done. After meeting with the radiologist, she had her last appointment with her wonderful oncologist, who had treated her and advised her for years. She expressed her heavy skepticism about the radiation, and her doctor said he didn't feel that going into hospice was the end of hope - that there was a lot of hope and joy to be found in her autonomy.
She decided against the radiation, and my sister and I cared for her at home until her death two months later. I had to squash down a lot of feelings at times about not speaking up during her last appointment, that maybe the radiation would have been better, that a miracle would have happened, etc. It was rough, but not nearly as rough as just how much and how terribly I missed her.
Sorry... very long story. "Wrecked" is an apt term - I'm still not okay some days, but I am okay-er than I was 5 years ago. You are a treasure to your mother supporting her - especially after repeated heartbreaks of bad news and anxiety and more bad news. I don't know you, but I'm sure she's in good hands with you. Sending strength and comfort your way, regardless of what is chosen and what ultimately happens.
As a palliative care psychiatrist who has seen horrific illnesses, this should absolutely be an option. People don't even have the faintest idea of what it's like to be in such a situation. Tbh i have encountered countless families who have wanted to keep their loved ones alive even when they are suffering. NO ONE has tried to hasten their loved one's death unless there is obvious suffering.
It doesnt matter if people "believe" in assisted dying. The bottom line is - Its medical care and should be available to everyone.
Veterans in Canada who were seeking assistance with duty related disabilities were being encouraged to consider MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying). Cheaper for the government if veterans deleted themselves than to provide the care they owed them.
Frankly though, this is the only major reason I see for this being a problem or immoral.
When my husband was passing from cancer he was sent home for palliative care at his request. We were given months worth of morphine to keep at home. He was gone within days. No questions were asked.
My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzhaimer’s Disease shortly after my uncle died prematurely of heart disease, It was already a difficult time for the whole family because of the then very recent loss of my uncle who was in his mid 40’s when he died and on top of it we all had to watch my grandfather slowly forgetting how to shower, eat, talk or even going to the toilet by himself until all that was left was nothing short of an empty shell of the person he once was, it was truly like watching death in slowmotion, towards the end, he was just lying lifeless on the hospital bed, completely dependent on the hospital staff to keep him alive, it was one of the most painful thing I had to witness in my life and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. And if I was to be diagnosed with Alzaimer’s when I’m older, I would honestly rather end my own life peacefully than having to go through what my grandfather had to go through before he died.
If there is no way out of a illness and it's only a matter of time. Why make that person suffer. If they say I'm done just let them make their own decision?
Most of the comments seem to be written by families of sufferers. I can write as a person who is suffering, even after all the treatments and medications possible for me. I currently have enough quality of life to go on, but I have a pact with my family. If I lose that quality of life and we can't find a solution - I will ask to die. Sadly, I don't live in a euthanasia country, but we'll do it.
Suicide is often seen as a selfish decision. I believe it's far more selfish to ask people in pain, with no quality of life, to endure and suffer for your sake.
This is the problem with lack of assisted suicide laws. It will conduct to "premature" suicide, or to legal problems for the loved ones.
@@Baldorcete That's one thing I'm very afraid of. The last thing I want is to cause problems for my family.
people who want to forbid people who suffer from ending that suffering have no morality, you cant change my mind
Cowards at best, hypocrites at worst.
Medical aid in dying is legal in some countries, under certain circumstances, including Austria, Belgium, Germany, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland, parts of the United States and five out of six states in Australia. The constitutional courts of Colombia, Germany and Italy have legalized assisted suicide but their governments have not yet legislated or regulated the practice.
My MIL is 76 and has Parkinson's. She is going downhill fast and still has some cognitive function but that is slipping too. We live in NY where it is not legal yet, but I hope at some point it is. She wants to go out her way and is trapped inside a body that is failing and a mind that is fast failing too. She just qualified for palliative care and is now almost bed ridden. It sucks, she hates living like this and has asked us if we can move someplace where she has the assisted death option. I wish it were possible to do so. Watching her suffer is heartbreaking.
A lot of this is best dealt with by a family discussion. My mom has told my sister and I our whole lives that if she’s ever reduced to a vegetative state, we are to have her removed from life support. My mom is perfectly fine and healthy but to her being kept alive when her mind is gone is terrifying. And the same is true for us all.
Terry Pratchett was my favorite author, as I am sure is true for many watching this video. After a stroke, he had Alzheimer’s disease. He wished to die with dignity before his mind was gone. It’s a choice I respect. He campaigned for his right to die with dignity. I watched my maternal grandmother decline with dementia (there’s a story behind this, but this isn’t Brain Blaze so no full in Tangent). I can imagine how Sir Pratchett felt with that horrifying reality staring him in the face. I know he wanted Rhianna (his daughter) to remember him for who he was, and not what he would be in a state of decline. He didn’t want to experience life that way. And he ultimately found someone to help him go peacefully. I feel everyone should have the choice.
Glad to live in the Netherlands where this option is available for anyone that follows the process
My father died one year after getting diagnosed with ALS in the late 2006, he was only forty. I was a child, and though insensitive to death and on the spectrum, the impression of his rapid deterioration haunts me with chilling awareness of my own mortality and fragility even now, 18 years later. He passed in intensive care, they said his mask that forced dry air into his lungs maintaining his breathing was torn off his face. He had no muscle tone to do so alone, but at that point, existence was torment. One of my big reasons to move to Europe is getting access to countries where, if I get diagnosed with neurodegenerative disease like da or grandmother from my paternal life, who is struggling with late stage Parkinson’s, I get to die without laying this haunting burden on my own family.
I have MS, and while it alone won't kill me, I have other medical issues that most certainly will. It will be slow and painful, so I'm not going to do it. In New Zealand we have assisted dying and I'm going to use it. Why should I suffer serious physical harm to protect the feelings of people who don't know me? To those who don't like the idea I say mind your own business. If you don't like assisted dying don't use it. But for the love of god, keep your opinion to yourself, until you're the one staring at a long, painful death.
Every time I hear/read "quality of life" as the break even point when we start considering if offering dying with dignity to the person, I remember being my grandmother's caregiver, and striving to create & maintain a lifestyle that would give her a longer quality of life: making her do her walking exercises to reduce the bedsores from sitting in her arm chair otherwise & to keep her legs strong enough to carry her, giving her healthy meals to keep her bloodsugar & other medical concerns more under control. We installed door bells all over the house so she could call for me without having to yell & kept the temperature at a balmy 75-80 F (~24-27 C) year round so she'd be comfortable. My grandmother had to be chivvied into her exercises every time, and she took every excuse to eat all the sweets & rich foods she could. To this day, I cannot abide the Winchester Chime (that's the tune of the doorbell) & while I lived with her for 2 years, the temperature in the house was like a sauna and she hated that I dressed in as little as I possibly could to try and escape from sweltering.
After those 2 years, I passed the baton to my aunt. With 3 months, my grandmother could no longer walk, she had extreme bedsores, and her meds had been drasticially altered to try and keep up with her diet. But, she was happy. She could be indolant and eat whatever she wanted. Until she couldn't. Until she had to have a feeding tube installed and she never tasted any of her food, but only smelled and saw it, and since it had to be mush and there was no point to adding spices...it hardly even looked appetizing.
So, who provided the real "quality of life" for her? My attempt the keep her as healthy as I could for as long as i could, while fighting her the whole way? Or my aunt who gave her what she wanted, made her happy, but let her slide all the faster toward that dark night?
I don't know.
I have worked with older and disabled people for years. There are things that terrify me way more than dying. While I’d personally think I’d be able to live with a permanent disability, at least a manageable one, there’s no way I’d stick around if I got diagnosed with anything terminal or that would cause me to slowly deteriorate, like dementia or Parkinson’s. Give people the choice for this and let them decide for themselves.
I'd rather die than suffer through what a lot of old people are forced to endure, maybe if care and funding were better it wouldn't be so bad but that doesn't count when there's also illness involved
6:30
"Natural lives"
.... I feel I can't even begin to explain how bass ackwards that line of thinking is, but I'll briefly try.
How natural is a life that consists of a piece of plastic shoved up your urethra, in addition to being hooked up to other various tubes and consciousness being only marginally bearable thanks to the insane number of painkillers created by the masterful chemistry geniuses of our age?
I am slowly getting cynical enough to accuse those physicians of just worrying about their job security. Either way I agree completely, it is absurd.
My grandmother didn't have this option and instead, when she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and multiple problems from previous medical procedures that would require surgeries to fix, she chose instead to forego treatment and have her feeding tube removed. It took her weeks to die of slow starvation. By the end between the pain, and the slow shut down of her body, the woman we all knew and loved was gone and she was nothing but a shell. And still all we could do was wait and watch her suffer and fade away. I will never not support death with dignity laws after watching this wonderful woman who was very much loved and respected fade painfully and slowly away.
I have see family and friends waste away Wishing for an End to the Hell of Pain and Sickness it's Truely Heart Breaking to See-Watch anyone Suffer like that and makes you understand that it's far Better to Go out on your own Choice.😢
Before my first surgery for cervical spine herniation I decided I was going to end my life if the surgery failed. The pain was so severe that my life became literally shades of grey, and the pain was all consuming. The surgery worked, and so I'm still here. However, having lived in debilitating pain, I will not subject anyone else to that if they wish to end it. It's not humane or moral to condemn people to live in pain that as severe as I have experienced.
As someone who has literally just been through this with my Mother 4 weeks ago in Australia (VAD is legal) my thoughts are: The rules are still too stringent, she couldn't start the process until 2 doctors agreed she had less than 6 months to live, which means she actually had far less time. The process takes 2-3 months roughly. Which means that at best, she was only able to save herself a few weeks of suffering. And the suffering she did endure before she was able to administer was terrible. I've also heard of instances where the process took too long, and the person's brain started shutting down and they were then deemed to not be in right mind to be able to administer, and therefore were denied their choice.
The rules are there to protect the most vulnerable, I understand that. But we have built the rules around the decision that we'd rather have 1000 people suffer horribly, than 1 person be 'put down' incorrectly. Ie the needs of the very few outweigh the needs of the many. And I have a fundamental problem with that.
I have no problems with the process (getting 2 doctors plus committee to sign off), but I think it should be allowed to be started once the person is known to have a terminal illness, regardless of how long its going to take for them to die, so they can get the 'paperwork' finished early, and then administering is purely on their timeline, by their choice.
As a disabled Canadian I have mixed feelings, I'm considering getting on the multi-year waitlist for euthenasia because Canada gives disabled people less money than rent is, and the foodbank only gives you a few days of expired items and you're only allowed to go once per month. It just bums me out cause if I could afford phisiotherapy a spine brace and some counselling I could get to go out and do shit and be a productive member of society, but they've decided it's easier just to kill us then to help us get better.
I live in Switzerland where assisted dying has been legal for many years. It has entered the mentalities, become accepted and I know many people who plan on doing it if they were to find their life/their illness no longer bearable. I'm 65, not sick, but I've already told my kids that if needed, that's what I'll do. It's my life, my body, my choice.
Therss a lot of safeguards that need to be ironclad as theres plenty of people that would use to get rid of say, disabled people. When i did support work, there were people whod mutter some heinous things as they walked past. Imagine one of them having power of attorney etc is scary to think about
There are safeguards against funding and assisting genocide, but that doesnt stop our government profiting from and denying it. Safeguards my arse mate.
What you are referring to wouldnt be assisted suicider.
I think this comes down to how weirdly stigmatized ending your own life is on society, which has always struck me as odd, even if you're not terminally ill and are just tired, or too sad, why is it seen as such a great sin? why do we as a society treat suicidal people as if they owe us to continue to live, should the right of self actualization, of living your life how you see fit, not also include the right to choose how and when it ends, regardless of circumstance or reason? why do you need so little justification when it comes to choosing how to live your life but so much controversy when it comes to ending it?
I think it´s insane that we can give our pets a way to not suffer a slow and painful death but terminally ill are forced to live in agony, Somemetimes frail enough to not be able to leave the bed, stewing in their own pee or faeces trapped in their own minds with nothing but their worst memmories day in and day out. Being tube feed because they stop eating, hooked up to a resperator since they can´t breath on their own anymore. Or forced to live for years with unimaginable pain that no pain killer can fix, just you and the pain that makes every movement feel like your limbs ar going to fall off, stabing pain lke someone jabbed an ice pick in to your head everyday over and over and over again. We should have as much right to our death as we have to our life.
As much as I always enjoy Simon's material, i have to say that this was a level above his usual production.
Completely unbiased, and very on point.
Nice work!
People should have the right to make that decision. When your quality of life is non-existant, there’s no cure, there’s no way for you to recover and you will die either imminently or in a few years, deteriorating as you go along, you should be allowed to legally make that decision.
I worked in the funeral business and the amount of people that were just waiting to die and suffered throughout the remainder of their lives was sadly common. Some family members had wished they had had the option when all the person affected wanted was to not suffer anymore but it’s not legal.
If I had the choice, I’d be all over that. I don’t want to be a burden or basically a vegetable until my body finally gives up. I don’t want to suffer and I don’t want my children to see me suffer and deteriorate knowing there’s nothing they can do. There’s nothing the dr’s can do. I just have to wait and die. Let me have that choice. I don’t consider this suicide.
We make these choices for our animals, why can’t we have the choice for ourselves?
One thing that I would be curious about is how life insurance would be impacted. Currently (at least in the US) if someone commits suicide their life insurance is voided. Would that change if it was medically assisted?
Down here in Australia where we’ve had voluntary assisted dying started becoming legal five years ago it doesn’t change insurance pay outs. As far as I can tell policies may vary on whether suicide is covered or not, but when someone terminally ill chooses VAD the death certificate either puts down the illness they were suffering from or puts down assisted dying and the illness as cause of death. I don’t know but I expect the UK will go the same way.
In my opinion there nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and when he might choose to end it.
I had a rare heart to heart with my mom about this in my teens after several people had died and it looked like there was gonna be another funeral soon. I told her I'd come back to haunt everyone if they ever let me end up like that. I'd rather go out on my own terms than headbutt a train to put it in words youtube will allow
I recently found your channel and I'm so happy I did because you really cover a lot of topics that are interesting. Sad to see how this video got pegged by the algorithm but hopefully that will change one day
if youve seen what happened to the japanese guy during a reactor meltdown, and how his family kept him alive well beyond sane reason, well, after a certain point, its just cruel and unnecessary
Nah alot of it had to due with research considering the circumstances but still his family played a major role in his suffering
Turns out there is a right answer and I'm glad UK made the right call
I'm originally from the Netherlands, and my family lives there. Yesterday, an aunt underwent euthanasia. She had wished to celebrate her 89th birthday later this month, but chances were poor that she'd make that, and she didn't want to suffocate. Because was likely to happen.
Even though it's been years since I saw her, on account of living 2000 km away, and never having been that close to my parents' extensive family, I found/find it difficult to proces. 'Tomorrow, your aunt will die.'
Don't get me wrong, I fully support the legislation and individual choice. Nobody, absolutely nobody, has the right to tell another person what to do with their life.
But it's still difficult.
I am dying from a painful, incurable disease and if given the choice, i would choose this route.
If the Geneva Conventions forbid torturing prisoners why is it legal to force someone who is terminally ill to suffer through horrendous pain that is far beyond what any form of torture we've dreamt up yet can cause?
The easiest way to help clear that up that I can think of would be that ever time you go to the doctor and they ask you all the insane question, asking you if you would ever chose that option so you can have a loooong history of how you felt about it.
And, maybe they could help to address the people who would say yes please too it... You know, actually help out the people that may be slightly depressed.
I'd totally be up for it, depending on the very strict guidelines I already have in my head. That could very easily just become part of my medical record going back however many tears I've felt this way.
If you're opposed to someone ending their agony-filled life, then you're a narcissist. *You* want them to be around for _you_ , selfishly, regardless of their lived experiences. Let's be completely real about that.
I don't think narcissist is the correct term, I think sadist comes much closer.
We need to make this available for everyone. This will surely eradicate the depression epidemic.
I am perfectly healthy and even assisted dying I feel would go against my religion of no suicide. That being said! Absolutely NO ONE should be forced to live a life where every moment is pain, if they wish for a dignified end give it to them.
Edit: and faccui is a PoS for letting all those old people die alone with no family to surround them.
We passed this law in New Zealand a few years ago. It came down to a moral vote so MPs did not have to vote along party lines. Seems the most reasonable way to do things
This kind of legislation is a dangerous double-edged sword. As a disabled person I have heard countless horror stories of people like myself, mostly from Canada, applying for MAiD because they can't afford to stay alive, or because they have been waiting for aid for years. This is a way for the state to not have to provide necessary assistance for the most vulnerable under the pretext of "mercy".
I feel like programs like this would have more community support if they had to offer you aid first. Like.. "wanna die? Well first, let's get you proper care, take care of your worldly woes, get you out of pain. THEN you can choose to die, if resources aren't part of your decision."
As a disabled canadian myself, my biggest issue with those horror stories is I can't verify them. A lot of them seem to be fake and scare tactics. i'm sure some are real but when you cite sources and try to find real numbers, it looks a lot less scary. Basically never trust anything you see on social media, it's probably fake,
People having rights over their own bodies is never double edged sword. If someone wants to end it, no one should be able to forcefully take away their choice
My partner’s grandfather has had dementia for the past decade. He was adamant that he NEVER wanted to have his life be like this, being a body to take care of.
But euthanasia is illegal here, so his last wishes are ignored while his body slowly, slowly dies after the mind is long gone.
It’s cruel and heartbreaking.
It needs to be regulated properly but yes it needs to be an option!
Both, actually.
If it's legal then there are going to be people manipulated into doing it even though they don't really want to.
If it's illegal, then people are going to be forced to suffer in ways they do not want to, even if it's due to a botched unaliving attempt without medical assistance.
But who is being more selfish?
The person who doesn't want to be manipulated into unaliving expecting millions to suffer for their inability to say no?
The person who doesn't want to keep suffering for who knows how long being unconcerned about others unaliving a few years earlier than absolutely necessary?
My STRONG bias probably shows in my phrasing of the dilemma.
Choosing death over pain, sickness without hope, grinding deterioration should be an individuals prerogative. Not the prerogative of a religious figure. Choosing death over being a burden to others is noble. It is seen in cultures that do not pretend to have unlimited resources. No solution is without drawbacks or risks, making clear headed law essential. Fear has paralyzed us for too long. I want sovereignty over my body. I do not surrender it to the church or the fearful.
My uncle had many respiratory issues for many years, and after a certain point, he chose assisted "termination" to end his suffering. The whole family was in agreement with his choice. Thankfully here in Canada, it is totally legal.
The problem comes in where we draw the line of "too much suffering." Who makes that determination with what criteria? How much suffeing qualifies?
When my husband was only 10, he watched his father slowly suffer, deteriorate, and die from cancer. By the time he was at the state where he was just in hospice care, he was no longer the same man who my husband had known. Just this year, one of my dearest friends had to watch a beloved friend of ours die after a 4 year battle with cancer. My own grandmother died of ALS. One of my goals for 2025 is, despite the fact that I'm not even in my 40s yet, to set up advance directives for both myself and my husband - included in mine will be a DNR order, and my husband knows that one of my wishes is, if I were to be diagnosed with something like ALS or something terminal, that we move somewhere with death with dignity laws. The very idea of being trapped in a failing body is something that is a nightmare for me.
While he wasn't a person, my dog of 17 years had a stroke and had to be put down just a few weeks ago. I could ensure that he passed peacefully, surrounded by love and comfort. Why wouldn't I want that option for myself and people I love?
so my personal experience with this was via my mom, who was dying of primary lung cancer (though her lungs were at that point clean), she was in tremendous pain but she wasn't yet fading out - she was regularly up and around, just in excruciating pain and she knew it was only going to get worse - why go through that? She kept asking me to find a way to get her into some kind of assisted suicide program out of state or even overseas, but at the time there was no realistic option for that at all. I actually did a lot of digging and it was horrible to tell her each time I found a dead end "no that one won't work"!
This question: "how to be sure the dying person can be of sound mind to make such a decision" - basically as they are in distress as they are facing their own death? "Feeling hopeless?" Erm - YEAH. That's actually a very sane reaction once you are dying as YOU ARE DYING! There is nothing to hope for aside from as little suffering as possible, but that's not allowed so no hope there. "Feeling anxious and afraid?" DITTO! That argument just pisses me off - the emotional toll of facing down a horrible death is not something you can medicate away, and the idea that psychological treatment needs to be attempted and proven to not be "effective" is just inane. So with my mom (even though she had no option for assisted suicide) they put her on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds "just in case". IN CASE WHAT?! Newsflash: she didn't feel any better at all, as get this: she was already dying a very painful death.
I'm sorry to get worked up but it makes me want to scream. I would not wish the suffering and indignity she went through on my worst enemy. Seriously, it's like torture. And then the absolute BS the "system" throws on top of it which I won't even get into - at base it is cruel and unusual, what we force the dying to endure in so many cases.
In the end she died much more quickly than her oncologist predicted. Seems she just *may* have been overmedicated with fentanyl for pain management (ahem). Sincere and deep thanks to you, doc.
I feel like anyone who sees their loved one go through an extreme illness SHOULD understand their choice if they want to die. Chronic pain and illness is torture both to live in and to watch, it feels cruel at times, if not all times, to watch them struggle on when they just want rest. And I feel like while we obviously need guardrails in place on this sort of thing, we owe it to them to let them chose how they go out
Being disabled and knowing a lot of disabled folks, Assisted Dying is kind of at a strange point where on one hand body autonomy rights dictate one should be able to die if they choose, but also seen cases of disabled people being not so gently encouraged to apply for it by ableist healthcare personel trying to guilty trip people for being a 'drain on the economy' and 'burden on their families' and there's already been cases of accomodations and quality-of-life-improvsing surgeries being denied due to costs
The consideration of morality is muddied by religious beliefs. Most notably, the worry that you will go to Hell (or its equivalent) if you assist someone in dying.
Jesus was pretty big on love and compassion so it'll be alright.
Assisting is not the same as allowing anyone to make their decision. If you don't want to assist, don't assist. But don't deny others the option to choose over their own lives.
Our lives, our right.
Saw this video three days after he posted it.....
THE BILL PASSED!!!!