I went through some trauma in college that took years of working through. I have to believe I’m over it now, since I did the therapy and I understand it and healed(?) But at some point after maybe a year, I felt like it kinda came back, maybe thats normal but it hit me hard because I had felt like I made so much progress just to be right back at the start. If it is normal, I wish more therapist talked about that. It’s been years of trying to ‘get over this’ or ‘move on’ and I’m starting to think its one of those things, that I can heal but it’ll always be there and I just have to learn to live with it…
I just shared about this in AA last week! I like how the resentments inventory lets us put people and events to paper, writing down what bothered us in simple terms and the emotions it brings up. It is really powerful getting that all out and having those lists to refresh our memory occasionally. Then, when someone says or does something that strikes a nerve, I can think about how it is simply reminding me of a past emotionally charged person, place, or thing, and I don’t need to overreact! I don’t need to barf out my emotional baggage. I am in control. But not because I am stuffing things down. Because I have allowed myself to feel the feelings I need to so I can be an observer rather than letting them control me. What a relief that is!
This is well explained thank you! Q: I experienced 2 house fires as a kid, worked through it with a therapist using EMDR and thought I was neutral like you explained. I’m in CA with the Hurst fire on one side, Eaton on the other. Most of the time I’m handling it frankly, but every once in a while I feel all the same trauma coming back. Thoughts?
Notice your feelings. When you get an intense feeling disproportionate to the current situation, it often means you are being reminded of a person, place, or thing from the past. Later, when you’ve cooled off, try to think about that and see if you can figure out the connection.
I want to say something in general: I am watching for some months a lot of videos like mostly your channel and some other high quality psycho-therapy topic channels and I find it quite frustrating, that 99% is about analysing what this and that symptom is and where it comes from (what many people who are struggeling with mental problems know already because in most therapies that's also the main topic), but I barely can find many, various, in depth tools, how to eliminate the inner problems when we once understand them, because in reality, the inner problems are many together, not ony one anxiety for example, but many, complex, in various life situations. But for the (online-)therapists it no problem to talk many, many hours in depth about all the little variations of the symptoms, analysing where they come from, but when it comes too helping stuff, then it must be only general because it's then "so individual" that seemingly one can't talk about details anymore. Example: I have so much anxiety and panic and dissociation symptoms about financial problems at the moment and I found out exactly where it comes from and created new perspecives and sentences about self awareness and wrote all that down and cried etc., but it doesn't help, I start shivering or get extremely nervous or dissociating when I try again dealing with money- and job-problems etc. But I can't find many ideas in the channels what really a method could be, it's weather inner child, meditation, writing, or talking to friends (what I don't have) or so, but that's all not really a lot for the many different variations of problems. I know stuff against intense panicing (what I don't have at the moment) or long term stuff like in a therapy but nothing for a certain situation "in between" these other situations/conditions. And no, there is no mental help here in my area, therapy places are all booked out for half a year etc. and I want to talk only to people who understand really what happens inside of people with trauma, because the others all say "just do this and that" and really don't understand weird, really weird feelings and behaviours from traumatized people.
Hi! I'm a trauma specialist and licensed professional counselor. A few thoughts to share. First is when care does open up in your area, or if you have the means to pay out of pocket for care, please seek out a trauma therapist. If you're finding those without the specialization aren't able to get into the nitty gritty as much as you'd like, finding someone who specializes in trauma will be your best option for that precise care. Second, a lot of channels can't really talk about specific practices because it can be a huge liability (im assuming.) If someone were to recommend something so direct online and another person try it at home, there's no relationship to help the person get through whatever is brought up and in some cases it could actually lead to more hurt (emotional and physical), more dysregulation, and more trauma. I'd hate to suggest something online and someone go hurt themselves because of the thoughts and feelings it brought up. This is why therapy is so individualized and careful because things are done in session to make sure people are being pushed enough to find healing but not so much to cause more pain and the therapist is there to say "that's enough for today." Or to say "i don't think we're ready to tackle this yet until we're better able to regulate. Let's make that ourgoal first." This is why so many people focus on mindfulness, journaling, and so on because they're all regulation tools for the deeper work
I will add, you've done so much work so far and you should be so proud. Now is the best time to meet with someone who can hold you accountable and push you and also help you regulate with baby steps in taking back your control over finances. Starting out this could be things like role playing or imagining scenarios, dealing with what comes up during those, then doing light exposure to real financial stuff and gradually working up the ladder. The shivering and psychosomatic responses need worked through until they dissipate, but it's extremely hard and potentially dangerous to do alone. Sending support your way, whether it's for the in between time until you can see someone, or if you decide to try to work it out on your own! 🤗
@@briannabelliconish2828 thanks for the detailed explanations and perspectives. Will take my situation now more serious, often you say after a bit "okay, now you have to deal with all that and be tougher, just forget it". ... Greetings from Europe!
I went through some trauma in college that took years of working through. I have to believe I’m over it now, since I did the therapy and I understand it and healed(?) But at some point after maybe a year, I felt like it kinda came back, maybe thats normal but it hit me hard because I had felt like I made so much progress just to be right back at the start. If it is normal, I wish more therapist talked about that. It’s been years of trying to ‘get over this’ or ‘move on’ and I’m starting to think its one of those things, that I can heal but it’ll always be there and I just have to learn to live with it…
I just shared about this in AA last week! I like how the resentments inventory lets us put people and events to paper, writing down what bothered us in simple terms and the emotions it brings up. It is really powerful getting that all out and having those lists to refresh our memory occasionally. Then, when someone says or does something that strikes a nerve, I can think about how it is simply reminding me of a past emotionally charged person, place, or thing, and I don’t need to overreact! I don’t need to barf out my emotional baggage. I am in control. But not because I am stuffing things down. Because I have allowed myself to feel the feelings I need to so I can be an observer rather than letting them control me. What a relief that is!
Thank you so much for this Kati 🖤
This is well explained thank you! Q: I experienced 2 house fires as a kid, worked through it with a therapist using EMDR and thought I was neutral like you explained. I’m in CA with the Hurst fire on one side, Eaton on the other. Most of the time I’m handling it frankly, but every once in a while I feel all the same trauma coming back. Thoughts?
How do you discover those issues that you're not consciously aware of?
Notice your feelings. When you get an intense feeling disproportionate to the current situation, it often means you are being reminded of a person, place, or thing from the past. Later, when you’ve cooled off, try to think about that and see if you can figure out the connection.
Just start shouting and see where it takes you.
I want to say something in general: I am watching for some months a lot of videos like mostly your channel and some other high quality psycho-therapy topic channels and I find it quite frustrating, that 99% is about analysing what this and that symptom is and where it comes from (what many people who are struggeling with mental problems know already because in most therapies that's also the main topic), but I barely can find many, various, in depth tools, how to eliminate the inner problems when we once understand them, because in reality, the inner problems are many together, not ony one anxiety for example, but many, complex, in various life situations. But for the (online-)therapists it no problem to talk many, many hours in depth about all the little variations of the symptoms, analysing where they come from, but when it comes too helping stuff, then it must be only general because it's then "so individual" that seemingly one can't talk about details anymore. Example: I have so much anxiety and panic and dissociation symptoms about financial problems at the moment and I found out exactly where it comes from and created new perspecives and sentences about self awareness and wrote all that down and cried etc., but it doesn't help, I start shivering or get extremely nervous or dissociating when I try again dealing with money- and job-problems etc. But I can't find many ideas in the channels what really a method could be, it's weather inner child, meditation, writing, or talking to friends (what I don't have) or so, but that's all not really a lot for the many different variations of problems.
I know stuff against intense panicing (what I don't have at the moment) or long term stuff like in a therapy but nothing for a certain situation "in between" these other situations/conditions.
And no, there is no mental help here in my area, therapy places are all booked out for half a year etc. and I want to talk only to people who understand really what happens inside of people with trauma, because the others all say "just do this and that" and really don't understand weird, really weird feelings and behaviours from traumatized people.
Hi, do you watch therapists using nervous system regulation methods? Maybe those could help you more?
Hi! I'm a trauma specialist and licensed professional counselor. A few thoughts to share. First is when care does open up in your area, or if you have the means to pay out of pocket for care, please seek out a trauma therapist. If you're finding those without the specialization aren't able to get into the nitty gritty as much as you'd like, finding someone who specializes in trauma will be your best option for that precise care. Second, a lot of channels can't really talk about specific practices because it can be a huge liability (im assuming.) If someone were to recommend something so direct online and another person try it at home, there's no relationship to help the person get through whatever is brought up and in some cases it could actually lead to more hurt (emotional and physical), more dysregulation, and more trauma. I'd hate to suggest something online and someone go hurt themselves because of the thoughts and feelings it brought up. This is why therapy is so individualized and careful because things are done in session to make sure people are being pushed enough to find healing but not so much to cause more pain and the therapist is there to say "that's enough for today." Or to say "i don't think we're ready to tackle this yet until we're better able to regulate. Let's make that ourgoal first." This is why so many people focus on mindfulness, journaling, and so on because they're all regulation tools for the deeper work
I will add, you've done so much work so far and you should be so proud. Now is the best time to meet with someone who can hold you accountable and push you and also help you regulate with baby steps in taking back your control over finances. Starting out this could be things like role playing or imagining scenarios, dealing with what comes up during those, then doing light exposure to real financial stuff and gradually working up the ladder. The shivering and psychosomatic responses need worked through until they dissipate, but it's extremely hard and potentially dangerous to do alone. Sending support your way, whether it's for the in between time until you can see someone, or if you decide to try to work it out on your own! 🤗
@@briannabelliconish2828 thanks for the detailed explanations and perspectives. Will take my situation now more serious, often you say after a bit "okay, now you have to deal with all that and be tougher, just forget it". ... Greetings from Europe!
@@candytwiggytwist3506 thanks for encouraging, finally will try this "fairy"* thing NOW *😉
I get triggered all day long, but I also know why😊
There are no good therapists available in the Community at large. All I've seen is Egotistical game players . B