SO TRUE YESS GIRL perfectly said. People care about validation and their egos more than they care about the truth. What is the insanity we live in today
To me, a sign of fake confidence is when someone makes one specific thing their ENTIRE identity. And I'm not talking about hard earned accomplishments: I'm talking about things like their sexuality, appearance, race/ethnicity, etc. It's especially obvious if there's a victim narrative to go along with it and extra cringe when they put it in their IG bio lol.
Artistically, Lizzo has so much to offer. She's a gifted singer and skilled flutist, yet she's better known for being the overweight, insecure celebrity who exudes faux confidence with her social media posts. It's so disappointing. What Lizzo and others like her don't understand is, confidence is silent; insecurity is deafening.
Remember when she had a smoothie and the "body positive community" said she let them down and all these other things to the point she had to address it online .... I wonder if the harassment and discouragement has made her feel like she has to be the "body inspo" person.. they literally tried to boycott Adele for actually working on her body for her mental and physical health
I feel like those people turned her into them. The abused became the abuser. If she had actual self esteem instead of this phony flexing, she’d tell ALL people to fuck off, rather than ONLY aligning with people who yay-say unhealthiness.
So, I weighed over 300 lbs a few years ago, and my general attitude was, "fuck it 🤷♀️"... until I wasn't allowed to ride a roller coaster with my daughter her first time because the seat belt wouldn't wrap around my gunt. Could I have thrown a fit and been angry at the amusement park? Probably, but they weren't the ones buying cherry Pepsi for me and eating fried oreos. That was me. So I stopped that and lost enough weight that I could have literally cloned myself. It is not lost on me that I could have died when I got covid if I was still Jessica x 2. I truly believe I wouldn't be here if I hadn't started giving a fuck about myself.
I used to weigh 300 pounds and I was miserable. I can’t even go into all the things I couldn’t do and I felt terrible. I started eating mostly a paleo diet and fasting. I felt like a new person in a matter of months. I did it for me and I’m so much happier. And you are so right about the food industry and big pharma and the purposeful way they try to keep us unhealthy. And fasting and giving up processed food/sugar is free. The diet industry likes their revolving door too.
Coming from someone that lost nearly 100 pounds after recovering from a binge eating disorder, you’re absolutely right, Shallon. Being overweight is extremely uncomfortable and makes life a living hell
What angers me the most is that it took our society YEARS to process and understand that anorexia and bulimia are very severe illnesses and that we should stop glorifying thinness, but now there are people like Lizzo who took all that progress and threw it right back to the starting point where now we are supposed to glorify and applaude obesity (and sorry, but that is what the body positive movement does). Lizzo is not some sort of progressive example, as she like to carry herself around. She is actually draws us back.
Its glorifying laziness. Point blank. Laziness and ISSUES. Nobody healthy happy and normal OVEREATS. There are out in the woods, on the beach, in the gym.
They didn't take anything away. No one really wants to be fat, people want to be thin. They can talk and delude themselves all they want, obesity will never be the ideal. That's why I don't like all this faux outrage and concern about "glorifying obesity". It will never go beyond a niche thing. Obesity is just not desirable like extreme thinness still is which is why diet culture and the extreme side of it like anorexia and bulimia will never go away.
Lizzo is so talented and it’s sad that she’s now more known for her online antics instead of her artistic abilities. Deep down she seems very unhappy and insecure. Hopefully she’ll evolve and get back to her musical roots one day.
She needs to stop responding to the haters. People will always comment on womens’ bodies, no matter what size. Beyoncé never does lives or “fights back”. Keep it moving and push out music.
I think because she was making music for so many years before hitting the mainstream, now that she’s getting that love, she kinda got lost in the sauce.. I really don’t blame her. I think it’s definitely time to reel it back in lol
I’m a skinny gal and I find that comment made by that man saying “what baby?” while showing a photo of his skinny wife in a bikini quite gross. Sounds like a man bragging to other men about his blow up doll. I don’t really see women posting photos of their husbands abs after they’ve had open heart surgery with the caption “what bypass?”. I hate this idea that womens goals after birth is to be sexy to their man. It also makes it feel like the goal for women is to look as fuckable as possible after carrying and birthing a child. God forbid a woman not look like a 18 year old model after having a baby. Why does every section of a womans life have to cater to a male gaze? It is such an obvious attempt at getting male/societal approval. And yes I know some ladies are just naturally slender - I’m talking about how it is presented and considered a goal for women and bragging right for men.
Unfortunately, women will always be judged on how fuckable we are and branded with a stupid number between 1 and 10. When I hear men talking about "she's a solid 8" or "I give her a 5 on a good day", I want to literally knock them out.
Shallon said once “confidence is quiet” and that comes back to me all the time, especially when I look at people like Lizzo. If she was really confident in her body, she wouldn’t feel the need to speak on it so constantly
Okay okay SO. From my observations, tell-tale signs of faux confidence are 1) Always noticing how many people are checking you out 2) Talking about your appearance all the time (like it's your favourite topic) 3) Judging others for the same shit you pull constantly without realising it and jumping at the chance to put others down 4) Constantly telling anyone who will listen about how much everyone loves you 5) An insta reel full of selfies and photos of you doing nothing (unless you're a pro model, why?) 6) Getting super triggered when someone else has a different belief, aesthetic, taste, goal than you (because it makes you feel invalidated) 7) Unwillingness to hear Shallon-esque advice out because it would force you to pull yourself out of the mental loop you're in.
This is SO TRUE. In Big Pharma its often said 'a healthy patient is a lost customer' (worked in big pharma, studied biomedical engineering, its just sad). Its so true that our society promotes pills or some other shit over healthy eating and basic everyday healthy lifestyle habits.
Thank you for doing this video Shallon!! Confidence is quiet. It's hard because nobody wants to see your body and sexuality on display 24/7. I think she was trying to empower plus size women but at some point there has to be more to you and something substantial for her to stay in the spotlight.
Empower plus size women to gain more weight? To be ,confident, to skahe the loose fat in the face of people who dont care? Sorry but this behavior belongs to your bf/lover, silly friends and strip clubs. PERIOD.
Girl I was about to say "fuck it" and text this guy that has shown that he is not even a little bit interested in me, you just read my mind and I'm not longer doing it.
Yes! Someone finally said it, as a classical musician(Lizzo and I actually went to the same music school) I wish she could have used her platform to get more exposure for us classical musicians and classical music to the younger generation
"Fuck it!", "Life´s too short" and "YOLO" are what we say to ourselves before making a really, really bad decision and doing what´s wrong for us. The opposite (and a personal mantra) would be "The hard thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing"
The first time I was exposed to her was when she was asking ballet dancers to make up routines to Truth Hurts and I was so impressed I started following her and quickly unfollowed once all the twerking started. I only found out about her amazing flute skills on my a couple of months ago. More flute Lizzo!
Shallon, this video was savage. You are a savage. A LEADER. THANK YOU for speaking unapologetically and fiercely on the facts so few even dare to. You empower others to do the same, myself included. 2022 is gonna be a great year for logic, reason and common sense, I believe it. Thank you also for being, yes, real as fuck but also positive. I watched you long before the pandemic but when March ‘20 hit- NOTHING felt familiar, your videos helped me through that time and many other times. HAPPY NEW YEAR 💗
I see over eating and under eating the same way because in both cases, you're not treating your body with respect. It's true that some women are healthy and naturally curvy, but there is a clear distinction between curvy and just unhealthy. And for your question, someone who is faking confidence in some way is myself (yes, I'm calling myself out lol!). For the longest time, I made jokes about drinking too much and pretended I love it but in reality, I don't. I know I can go overboard with drinking and I hate it. So I'm actually so excited to do dry January. I seriously can't wait to push myself and be boring but make good decisions! Because that's the thing people forget about when it comes to achieving goals- it takes discipline, which is not always fun. But the end result is worth it! Happy new year Shallon and Shalligators :)
I think you look so good with your hair up the times you said something negative about your appearance I was shook. Effortlessly stunning in this video
You're so right! I've definitely been operating in 'f it' mode for many years. Definitely lots of dumb decisions. God I love you Shallon, you're probably younger than me but you have given me the best big sister advice xx thanks sis
I think there has to be a balance. I’ve lost 100 pounds over the last year, and part of my success was accepting & loving my body before the “after”. We should be encouraging healthy lifestyles & put the focus on the health factor. We shouldn’t not be tearing people down because of their looks. It’s such a small part of who people are.
I'm still watching through the video (which is amazing, as always), but where I'm at, Shallon just brought up the most amazing point about prioritizing our health. I wasn't feeling 100% myself today and watching this made me come to a realization in my head. Working out really builds up my motivation, and I can bet it does for many others as well. It's such an easy thing to work out and afterwards, that feeling of success flows so heavily into one's mind, like "Wow, I just did that, now I'm ready to do this." and it gives just such a sense of accomplishment. Body health can become mental health. Health really is the key for many problems physically and mentally, both of which feed the soul tremendously. Plus doing it together improves social interaction, too. I'm going to finish the video. Great work as always, I'm a newer subscriber and I binged so many of your videos already. Happy New Year!
We disagree about getting vaccinated and selena Gomez but i have to give nothing but respect to Shallon Lester .Being on weight loss journey will bode well for me .I have to give props to Shallon Lester
Shallon did not speak a lie. There’s a difference between being concerned for someone’s weight and bullying someone because of it. I’m fat and it’s actually so uncomfortable and it’s a struggle to lose it because of psychological issues I have. But I would never say I’m confident or say my weight is healthy because it’s obviously not. Sometimes the truth hurts and you just have to deal with it. I don’t think losing weight will make a person happier but it does make you psychically healthier.
for me, the difference between being too self-indulgent and not is: "plan". you can buy that dress you really want, you can go on a vacation, you can eat at that restaurant, as long as you plan for it first. make sure it fits your budget, make sure you have savings, then you can do it.
Shallon can you do some more lifestyle-y type videos? Your prepping and packing for travel videos are SO good and I'd love to see your organization tricks and more habitat type stuff. Happy new year!!!
It is so weird how we expect from ourselves and our presence on social media to always look "put together", and for a lot of people that includes full makeup, hair etc. It should be about being healthy and fostering our goals, researching and actually having something to say (as opposed to "just look pretty").
None of us have anything against Lizzo being overweight. Her health is her business. But when she uses her platform to convince people that she is confident AND healthy, she is making OTHER PEOPLE'S health HER business. That needs to be stopped. Especially when so many young people who are already overweight or obese are looking up to her. She's not just being self-destructive, she's helping other people destroy themselves too.
This was very interesting and thought provoking! I really like how you make your points because you don’t backpedal and you are consistent. I think Lizzo is genuinely, extremely talented and intelligent and I think she will swim out of this phase.
Shallon you are so right. I always wonder why we aren’t focusing on HEALTH AND WELL-BEING, but are focusing how fat or skinny someone is..positive or not. Like Shallon says we need to “glorify health”. So I’m going to celebrate health this year! Please join in this year glorifying health! 😊
Getting acceptance and love for yourself as you are can empower you to then change yourself but without the impetus of shame and self hate driving the actions
I started following some women body builders via social media too 😂 not because I want to get bulking but they’re interesting & inspiring to me- all that hard work and time put in to craft your body - diet involved- how to become self disciplined etc comes into my mind .
They’re so interesting!!! The dedication is really something, even if I’m not after that body or goal. It reminds you what the human spirit is capable of and to stay motivated no matter what you’re after 🙏🏻
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I am so so so proud of you for taking control of your health! I got really sick this summer and it was a wake up call to stop drinking, get more sleep, just generally be healthier. So in that sense, it was a blessing. And I think for you you’re going to look back and think the exact same thing!
@@miriamchalmovianska863 it's not just the fans, her record label and the people around her are probably in her ear telling her she's ok so that they can keep the money coming, remember what rebel wilson said about the people around her not wanting her to lose weight since it might affect her brand
It sounds to me like the ultimate message is "Get out of fantasy and into logic." Us women are more prone to fantasy thinking and it can be great! But fantasizing must be moderated heavily when meeting new people, new romantic prospects, and in business. Sadly, we're not taught this when we're young. But now we have you, Shallon. Hugs.
Shallon! Speaking of honouring goals, can you do a video on how to save/ travel while earning a small salary? Or how to find additional sources of income? Or just a general vid of setting goals and obtaining them ?😭❤️ love you !
The body positivity community is unfortunately only on sb‘s side when they stay fat bc their entire view of life centers around them being victims😒 I kinda feel bad for celebs like Lizzo since she‘s made being fat and proud her entire brand.. now, she can‘t escape and become healthy without her “fans” turning on her 😐
The bottom line is: it is not okay to disrespect someone and mistreat them just because they are fat. This also doesn't mean being super fat is healthy. Regardless of size we all deserve respect and to be confident and have ways to cope in our current state so we can have the motivation to be better.
No one owes anyone respect.....politeness, yes. Respect, No. The way Lizzo is going....she barely respects herself....why should anyone else respect her?
@@priyac1944 you act as if you don't understand what I am saying. You go to the store and make a nasty face at a fat person for no reason or go out of your way to be mean when you wouldn't to someone else who is thinner, that is what I mean by respect. To strangers. Now if you know someone and hate them for their actions then thats different. I mean it in a sense of politeness to strangers you don't know.
It’s the back and forth with Lizzo, crying-boasting-repeat, unable use criticism for her own good. I tend to think people that ask for this much validation need to be protective of their vulnerability until they’re counseled extensively. Shallon, this was very insightful. I wish Lizzo the best.
You hit the nail on the head-the back and forth, The mixed messages. Kelly Clarkson never sent a mixed message about her body, and that’s why I love her. She said, “I don’t want to die skinny, I want to die with a belly full of taters and steak.” At least she picks a path and sticks to it, and doesn’t need other people to approve. The fact that Lizzo does tells me all of this confidence is fake as it gets, and that music seems very sad.
I know I’m super late, I’m currently bingeing all your videos bc I agree wholeheartedly with what you say! I think Lizzo had a pretty facial features and is insanely talented, but she’s trapped herself in a corner. Her entire identity is music + glorifying her weight. Adele lost so much weight and people WENT AFTER her… imagine if Lizzo did that…. She’s become the face of the body positivity movement.
Shallon’s mentioned this for and against before and it’s so beneficial! I now go ‘is this for or against my goal?’ When I’m faced with a decision with food/money etc. It’s truly helped me. It brings me back to earth when I’m trying to dissociate/‘fuck it’ with a decision .
This video is high key motivational! It’s time to get healthy because you’re right it’s not comfortable to be overweight it’s just so hard to break those unhealthy habits. I think what really hit home was you saying that unhealthy people are just trying to survive and have less autonomy like I want to have control over my life and energy!
Shallon, Can you please do a video on Kanye’s public pleas for Kim? Even though he is seen dating women, he keeps wanting Kim back. Maybe a video on the psychology of how men process breakups, vs women.
An excellent example of body positivity is Adel she's is the exact opposite of lizzo she didn't care before losing weight about anything was said in the media she didn't care after she wasn't showing body either ways and she's wasn't apologetic about both when she was overweight she said i do music for ears not eyes and when she lost weight she did not celebrate it like it was her life goal she did not even address it until maby a year and a half later.. That's the real confidence
Health is true personal wealth. We have to invest in ourselves this is time if there was any. The number #1 cause of severe covid and death has been obesity and obesity related conditions, old age coupled with obesity and/or high A1C (indicator of diabetes and prediabetes) yet we hear nothing about this. Most patients developing severe covid have been obese, older and sick (all pre existing conditions). So yes, we have a responsibility to ourselves and our families to get healthy. The only obesity related conditions that runs in families are bad habits. When we take accountability and ownership of ourselves and and evaluate how why we are or aren't living the life that we desire, things start to change. Lets be the change and stop expecting someone to do it for us. Happy 2022!!
This is an old video but it just popped up in my recommended, and OH MY GOD. I literally started Saxenda this week because I’ve finally realised this. The body “positivity” movement has done so much damage to my mental and physical health, justifying shitty decisions and pushing me to be okay in a fat unhealthy body when I’m absolutely not. Today is the end of this nonsense for me!
You should talk about what the celebrity X factor is in a video. I dated a guy from Janes Addiction and another musician and everytime I met celebrities through them they have this AURA that you can sense from across a room or street. I can’t figure out WHAT it is. They aren’t always polished either. I think it’s that they vibrate at a higher frequency because they get so much positive attention. Whatever it is I know you know what I’m talking about and I want to be able to put my finger on it and emulate it better. I think people would like to know too. It’s the most bizarre thing, they have these magnetic auras. Almost like they aren’t human.
I’m getting weight loss surgery in the near future and my doctor made a great point that I am his favorite kind of person to operate on because yes I am healthy right now just overweight but he wants to make sure the surgery helps to makes me a healthy older person one day. Just because you’re over weight and okay right now doesn’t mean it will last forever.
WHen Lizzo did her cleanse and showed the slightest water weight loss, her fans LOST THEIR SHIT and accused her of promoting "Diet Culture" (uhhh...health?). I'm pretty sure she did this to pander to them, because she can't stand to not be liked. So sad.
You said it right-she can’t stand not to be liked. If being fat was so magical and fulfilling she wouldn’t have to say it all the god damned time. She’s sacrificing her health and future to pander to people who definitely don’t accept her no matter what. How sad.
Nobody is ever happy I feel when it comes to peoples weight. Like people are going to judge whether your heavy set or super skinny. People are always going to be like “oh your too big or like yay for you for body positivity” but then if your skinny people say, “oh you look sickly or your to skinny for this or like why can’t I have a body like this.” But like people I feel will complain if your body is big or super small. I just feel like people are always going to judge you.
I think body positivity is taking care of yourself and recognizing that your body does amazing things and is so strong. Therefore, you need to fuel it properly.
About 20 years ago I broke my kneecap, the rehab began in a swimming pool, basically walking in a swimming pool. Then the injured person graduated to the gym for exercise. No overweight person made it to the gym, as their damaged knees could not take the weight on their healing legs. It was then realised that being fat was a health issue.
PREACH!! As a healthy person you said EVERYTHING I was thinking. I don't know how much free range these celebs have to preach a helpful narrative. I think Lizzo is just a pawn like so many other "entertainers" to push unhealthy behaviors, racism and just plain ole stupidity and immorality.
My sister in law. Classic cold blooded, can’t be alone, etc,, always the loudest (and most drunk) person in the room screaming how HAPPY and HOT she is. She’s not. She’s miserable.
My grandmother has been overweight for most of her life, after the age of 20, she turned 93 last month, is more lucid than the world's political leaders. But she took care of her health, especially after 60..she ate light meals, mostly vegetarian, started each day with muesli and yoghurt, went up the stairs of her building twice per day plus did gymnastics occasionally, took walks etc. My point being some people have a genetic predisposition towards plumpness and it would actually damage their health more to try to be stick thin. Just as some people are naturally slim, and it would hurt their bodies to eat 5000 calories of junk food per day to try to gain weight. This is why body shaming is stupid. Should fat be encouraged? No. But neither is shaming people for how they look actually going to improve anything. My main issue is with people who try to assign character faults to you because of how you look. I know people who are extremely hard working and also happen to be obese, and they still get called "lazy", whereas some naturally slim lazy-ass gets praised for "staying fit" when they could just have been given slim genes at birth. My point being you cannot judge a person until you have lived their lives. People could be obese for many reasons: hormonal imbalance, stress, physical or psychological trauma, genetic predisposition etc, it's not always about healthy habits. And even habits could be out of a person's hands. I know people who gained weight as a result of working night shifts, but they couldn't quit those jobs because they needed the money.
Southside Chicago girl here... attended public school and regularly volunteer at them as a 35 year old adult... There are absolutely no damn discussions about Mozart lol
yep. being fat is the last stronghold for social examination and commentary. can't say shit about anything or anyone else but let's (un)constructively critique the appearance of fat, so we can lowkey feel better about ourselves.
What’s about overweight individuals being praised on social media and having them burst out in anger when anything is mentioned about their weight? It doesn’t even have to be a hate comment, it’s so sad
In NA we call it having a "case of the fuck it's" which is typically not a good thing. We need to change the connotation and belief around "fuck it". We can have good fuck it's. Fuck it let me just go and exercise. Fuck it imma start journaling every day. Fuck it imma not order take out every night. Fuck it imma spend an hour a day on my hobby and see if I can make this into a career or monetize my work!!! Just gotta reframe those fuck it's and use it to better ourselves instead of self sabotaging.
Body positivity was never meant to enable unhealthy habits - but people confuse it because they chose their ego over actual self-love.
WOW!!!!!
SO TRUE YESS GIRL perfectly said. People care about validation and their egos more than they care about the truth. What is the insanity we live in today
Spot on
TRUTH!
To me, a sign of fake confidence is when someone makes one specific thing their ENTIRE identity. And I'm not talking about hard earned accomplishments: I'm talking about things like their sexuality, appearance, race/ethnicity, etc. It's especially obvious if there's a victim narrative to go along with it and extra cringe when they put it in their IG bio lol.
That’s basically identity politics from the left 🤣
@@jcwon498 so on point! 👏
THIS
ur so right
HAHAHA yes at the IG bio part especially!!!!
Artistically, Lizzo has so much to offer. She's a gifted singer and skilled flutist, yet she's better known for being the overweight, insecure celebrity who exudes faux confidence with her social media posts. It's so disappointing. What Lizzo and others like her don't understand is, confidence is silent; insecurity is deafening.
Just like Dummy Lovato. A talented performer...who's decided to go woke 😑
This exactly!
@@alterbria they both suck
Remember when she had a smoothie and the "body positive community" said she let them down and all these other things to the point she had to address it online .... I wonder if the harassment and discouragement has made her feel like she has to be the "body inspo" person.. they literally tried to boycott Adele for actually working on her body for her mental and physical health
I feel like those people turned her into them. The abused became the abuser. If she had actual self esteem instead of this phony flexing, she’d tell ALL people to fuck off, rather than ONLY aligning with people who yay-say unhealthiness.
‘Every decision is either moving you towards your goals or away from them’. I needed to hear this.
You’re absolutely right. As an overweight woman this just motivated me even more to get my ish together this year and release this oppressive weight
You can do it!!!!!
@@s4hg663ws thank you 😊 ❤️
I believe in you!! Chloe Ting just uploaded her new 2022 weight loss challenge on UA-cam :) you should check it out!
You got this!
Stay healthy, beautiful 🌹
So, I weighed over 300 lbs a few years ago, and my general attitude was, "fuck it 🤷♀️"... until I wasn't allowed to ride a roller coaster with my daughter her first time because the seat belt wouldn't wrap around my gunt. Could I have thrown a fit and been angry at the amusement park? Probably, but they weren't the ones buying cherry Pepsi for me and eating fried oreos. That was me. So I stopped that and lost enough weight that I could have literally cloned myself.
It is not lost on me that I could have died when I got covid if I was still Jessica x 2. I truly believe I wouldn't be here if I hadn't started giving a fuck about myself.
Very happy gor you
I used to weigh 300 pounds and I was miserable. I can’t even go into all the things I couldn’t do and I felt terrible. I started eating mostly a paleo diet and fasting. I felt like a new person in a matter of months. I did it for me and I’m so much happier.
And you are so right about the food industry and big pharma and the purposeful way they try to keep us unhealthy. And fasting and giving up processed food/sugar is free. The diet industry likes their revolving door too.
Coming from someone that lost nearly 100 pounds after recovering from a binge eating disorder, you’re absolutely right, Shallon. Being overweight is extremely uncomfortable and makes life a living hell
What angers me the most is that it took our society YEARS to process and understand that anorexia and bulimia are very severe illnesses and that we should stop glorifying thinness, but now there are people like Lizzo who took all that progress and threw it right back to the starting point where now we are supposed to glorify and applaude obesity (and sorry, but that is what the body positive movement does). Lizzo is not some sort of progressive example, as she like to carry herself around. She is actually draws us back.
Its glorifying laziness. Point blank. Laziness and ISSUES. Nobody healthy happy and normal OVEREATS. There are out in the woods, on the beach, in the gym.
They didn't take anything away. No one really wants to be fat, people want to be thin. They can talk and delude themselves all they want, obesity will never be the ideal. That's why I don't like all this faux outrage and concern about "glorifying obesity". It will never go beyond a niche thing. Obesity is just not desirable like extreme thinness still is which is why diet culture and the extreme side of it like anorexia and bulimia will never go away.
Lizzo is so talented and it’s sad that she’s now more known for her online antics instead of her artistic abilities. Deep down she seems very unhappy and insecure. Hopefully she’ll evolve and get back to her musical roots one day.
She needs to stop responding to the haters. People will always comment on womens’ bodies, no matter what size. Beyoncé never does lives or “fights back”. Keep it moving and push out music.
I think because she was making music for so many years before hitting the mainstream, now that she’s getting that love, she kinda got lost in the sauce.. I really don’t blame her. I think it’s definitely time to reel it back in lol
I’m a skinny gal and I find that comment made by that man saying “what baby?” while showing a photo of his skinny wife in a bikini quite gross. Sounds like a man bragging to other men about his blow up doll. I don’t really see women posting photos of their husbands abs after they’ve had open heart surgery with the caption “what bypass?”. I hate this idea that womens goals after birth is to be sexy to their man. It also makes it feel like the goal for women is to look as fuckable as possible after carrying and birthing a child. God forbid a woman not look like a 18 year old model after having a baby. Why does every section of a womans life have to cater to a male gaze? It is such an obvious attempt at getting male/societal approval. And yes I know some ladies are just naturally slender - I’m talking about how it is presented and considered a goal for women and bragging right for men.
I find that comment creepy as well..her husband could be her grandfather.
Well said! The comment was making me feel some type of way but I couldn’t figure out why exactly.
💯 agree! It was purely to showcase his thin wife to others like a trophy! So gross 🤮
Unfortunately, women will always be judged on how fuckable we are and branded with a stupid number between 1 and 10. When I hear men talking about "she's a solid 8" or "I give her a 5 on a good day", I want to literally knock them out.
Great point!
Shallon said once “confidence is quiet” and that comes back to me all the time, especially when I look at people like Lizzo. If she was really confident in her body, she wouldn’t feel the need to speak on it so constantly
“Love your body but, if its unhealthy, stop glorifying that” well said
Okay okay SO. From my observations, tell-tale signs of faux confidence are
1) Always noticing how many people are checking you out
2) Talking about your appearance all the time (like it's your favourite topic)
3) Judging others for the same shit you pull constantly without realising it and jumping at the chance to put others down
4) Constantly telling anyone who will listen about how much everyone loves you
5) An insta reel full of selfies and photos of you doing nothing (unless you're a pro model, why?)
6) Getting super triggered when someone else has a different belief, aesthetic, taste, goal than you (because it makes you feel invalidated)
7) Unwillingness to hear Shallon-esque advice out because it would force you to pull yourself out of the mental loop you're in.
I agree fully …. Why constantly flex and toot your own horn?
This is SO TRUE. In Big Pharma its often said 'a healthy patient is a lost customer' (worked in big pharma, studied biomedical engineering, its just sad). Its so true that our society promotes pills or some other shit over healthy eating and basic everyday healthy lifestyle habits.
Thank you for doing this video Shallon!! Confidence is quiet. It's hard because nobody wants to see your body and sexuality on display 24/7. I think she was trying to empower plus size women but at some point there has to be more to you and something substantial for her to stay in the spotlight.
Empower plus size women to gain more weight? To be ,confident, to skahe the loose fat in the face of people who dont care? Sorry but this behavior belongs to your bf/lover, silly friends and strip clubs. PERIOD.
@@miriamchalmovianska863 whatever you don't have to agree people do things for all kinds of reasons that we don't know.
Girl I was about to say "fuck it" and text this guy that has shown that he is not even a little bit interested in me, you just read my mind and I'm not longer doing it.
Yup, don’t do it. You’ll know when a guy is interested in you!!!!
You know what you have to offer. Do not waste your time on someone who is not meeting you half way. You will meet someone better 💕
Gurl we literally live in a time where it's all about people's feelings and not facts anymore. It's so strange and a shame
Ya some people are fat and ugly.
Yes! Someone finally said it, as a classical musician(Lizzo and I actually went to the same music school) I wish she could have used her platform to get more exposure for us classical musicians and classical music to the younger generation
Absolutely
"Fuck it!", "Life´s too short" and "YOLO" are what we say to ourselves before making a really, really bad decision and doing what´s wrong for us. The opposite (and a personal mantra) would be "The hard thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing"
The first time I was exposed to her was when she was asking ballet dancers to make up routines to Truth Hurts and I was so impressed I started following her and quickly unfollowed once all the twerking started. I only found out about her amazing flute skills on my a couple of months ago. More flute Lizzo!
Shallon, this video was savage. You are a savage. A LEADER. THANK YOU for speaking unapologetically and fiercely on the facts so few even dare to. You empower others to do the same, myself included. 2022 is gonna be a great year for logic, reason and common sense, I believe it. Thank you also for being, yes, real as fuck but also positive. I watched you long before the pandemic but when March ‘20 hit- NOTHING felt familiar, your videos helped me through that time and many other times. HAPPY NEW YEAR 💗
I see over eating and under eating the same way because in both cases, you're not treating your body with respect. It's true that some women are healthy and naturally curvy, but there is a clear distinction between curvy and just unhealthy. And for your question, someone who is faking confidence in some way is myself (yes, I'm calling myself out lol!). For the longest time, I made jokes about drinking too much and pretended I love it but in reality, I don't. I know I can go overboard with drinking and I hate it. So I'm actually so excited to do dry January. I seriously can't wait to push myself and be boring but make good decisions! Because that's the thing people forget about when it comes to achieving goals- it takes discipline, which is not always fun. But the end result is worth it! Happy new year Shallon and Shalligators :)
I think you look so good with your hair up the times you said something negative about your appearance I was shook. Effortlessly stunning in this video
I agree!
Thought the same thing
You're so right! I've definitely been operating in 'f it' mode for many years. Definitely lots of dumb decisions. God I love you Shallon, you're probably younger than me but you have given me the best big sister advice xx thanks sis
I know right!? I've definitely done the eff it deal too. This makes so much sense!!
damn girl - say it! this conversation needs to happen.
I think there has to be a balance. I’ve lost 100 pounds over the last year, and part of my success was accepting & loving my body before the “after”. We should be encouraging healthy lifestyles & put the focus on the health factor. We shouldn’t not be tearing people down because of their looks. It’s such a small part of who people are.
I'm still watching through the video (which is amazing, as always), but where I'm at, Shallon just brought up the most amazing point about prioritizing our health. I wasn't feeling 100% myself today and watching this made me come to a realization in my head. Working out really builds up my motivation, and I can bet it does for many others as well. It's such an easy thing to work out and afterwards, that feeling of success flows so heavily into one's mind, like "Wow, I just did that, now I'm ready to do this." and it gives just such a sense of accomplishment. Body health can become mental health. Health really is the key for many problems physically and mentally, both of which feed the soul tremendously. Plus doing it together improves social interaction, too. I'm going to finish the video. Great work as always, I'm a newer subscriber and I binged so many of your videos already. Happy New Year!
We disagree about getting vaccinated and selena Gomez but i have to give nothing but respect to Shallon Lester .Being on weight loss journey will bode well for me .I have to give props to Shallon Lester
Thank you!! It’s ok, we can disagree because we’re intelligent women who know that love and respect isn’t about being 1000% in lock step all the time.
You are NEVER ugly shallon!!
I KNOW! SHE ONLY SERVES LOOKS💅😍
Shallon did not speak a lie. There’s a difference between being concerned for someone’s weight and bullying someone because of it. I’m fat and it’s actually so uncomfortable and it’s a struggle to lose it because of psychological issues I have. But I would never say I’m confident or say my weight is healthy because it’s obviously not. Sometimes the truth hurts and you just have to deal with it. I don’t think losing weight will make a person happier but it does make you psychically healthier.
for me, the difference between being too self-indulgent and not is: "plan". you can buy that dress you really want, you can go on a vacation, you can eat at that restaurant, as long as you plan for it first. make sure it fits your budget, make sure you have savings, then you can do it.
You looked like a little kid who was about to get fussed at when that art fell down!! Hahaha that was so cute
Shallon can you do some more lifestyle-y type videos? Your prepping and packing for travel videos are SO good and I'd love to see your organization tricks and more habitat type stuff. Happy new year!!!
It is so weird how we expect from ourselves and our presence on social media to always look "put together", and for a lot of people that includes full makeup, hair etc. It should be about being healthy and fostering our goals, researching and actually having something to say (as opposed to "just look pretty").
Being too underweight and too overweight are equally dangerous to promote!
"You can't march anywhere, you're fat!"
Hahahaha you made me cry laughing
None of us have anything against Lizzo being overweight. Her health is her business. But when she uses her platform to convince people that she is confident AND healthy, she is making OTHER PEOPLE'S health HER business. That needs to be stopped. Especially when so many young people who are already overweight or obese are looking up to her. She's not just being self-destructive, she's helping other people destroy themselves too.
While I was listening to this video I stood up and start preparing myself to go the gym. Now I'm going!!!! Thank you so much🥺🤗
This was very interesting and thought provoking! I really like how you make your points because you don’t backpedal and you are consistent. I think Lizzo is genuinely, extremely talented and intelligent and I think she will swim out of this phase.
I just want you to talk about anything and everything please. I love these talks 💕☕️☀️
“Industrial strength nylons” ... “one step below a wet suit” 😂😂😂 oh Shallon I love you
Shallon you are so right. I always wonder why we aren’t focusing on HEALTH AND WELL-BEING, but are focusing how fat or skinny someone is..positive or not. Like Shallon says we need to “glorify health”. So I’m going to celebrate health this year! Please join in this year glorifying health! 😊
4:38 "If you really love your body, why are you editing it?" I would ask the same of the Kardashians.
Getting acceptance and love for yourself as you are can empower you to then change yourself but without the impetus of shame and self hate driving the actions
Your reaction when the painting fell was hilarious 😂😂
I started following some women body builders via social media too 😂 not because I want to get bulking but they’re interesting & inspiring to me- all that hard work and time put in to craft your body - diet involved- how to become self disciplined etc comes into my mind .
They’re so interesting!!! The dedication is really something, even if I’m not after that body or goal. It reminds you what the human spirit is capable of and to stay motivated no matter what you’re after 🙏🏻
I had a bariatric surgery because I almost died due to Covid. F Lizzo.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I am so so so proud of you for taking control of your health! I got really sick this summer and it was a wake up call to stop drinking, get more sleep, just generally be healthier. So in that sense, it was a blessing. And I think for you you’re going to look back and think the exact same thing!
@@shallonlester Exactly. Thanks a lot. 😘
Omg you said F Lizzo 🤣
I almost don’t blame her at this point. She gets way more hate from her so-called fans when she loses weight.
If she wants to live by what other people want, she can already call it quits...people will never be happy with anything ever
@@miriamchalmovianska863 it's not just the fans, her record label and the people around her are probably in her ear telling her she's ok so that they can keep the money coming, remember what rebel wilson said about the people around her not wanting her to lose weight since it might affect her brand
It sounds to me like the ultimate message is "Get out of fantasy and into logic." Us women are more prone to fantasy thinking and it can be great! But fantasizing must be moderated heavily when meeting new people, new romantic prospects, and in business. Sadly, we're not taught this when we're young. But now we have you, Shallon. Hugs.
“Does this move me closer to my goals?” Yes that is the question I constantly need to say to myself. Thank you Shallon!
Shallon! Speaking of honouring goals, can you do a video on how to save/ travel while earning a small salary? Or how to find additional sources of income? Or just a general vid of setting goals and obtaining them ?😭❤️ love you !
The body positivity community is unfortunately only on sb‘s side when they stay fat bc their entire view of life centers around them being victims😒
I kinda feel bad for celebs like Lizzo since she‘s made being fat and proud her entire brand.. now, she can‘t escape and become healthy without her “fans” turning on her 😐
The bottom line is: it is not okay to disrespect someone and mistreat them just because they are fat. This also doesn't mean being super fat is healthy. Regardless of size we all deserve respect and to be confident and have ways to cope in our current state so we can have the motivation to be better.
No one owes anyone respect.....politeness, yes. Respect, No. The way Lizzo is going....she barely respects herself....why should anyone else respect her?
Say it louder for those in the back!
@@priyac1944 you act as if you don't understand what I am saying. You go to the store and make a nasty face at a fat person for no reason or go out of your way to be mean when you wouldn't to someone else who is thinner, that is what I mean by respect. To strangers. Now if you know someone and hate them for their actions then thats different. I mean it in a sense of politeness to strangers you don't know.
It’s the back and forth with Lizzo, crying-boasting-repeat, unable use criticism for her own good. I tend to think people that ask for this much validation need to be protective of their vulnerability until they’re counseled extensively.
Shallon, this was very insightful. I wish Lizzo the best.
You hit the nail on the head-the back and forth, The mixed messages. Kelly Clarkson never sent a mixed message about her body, and that’s why I love her. She said, “I don’t want to die skinny, I want to die with a belly full of taters and steak.” At least she picks a path and sticks to it, and doesn’t need other people to approve. The fact that Lizzo does tells me all of this confidence is fake as it gets, and that music seems very sad.
I love how you leave the little things that make you human and relatable.
you always spit so much truth even when it hurts lol and yes i’m quoting the lizzo song
I know I’m super late, I’m currently bingeing all your videos bc I agree wholeheartedly with what you say! I think Lizzo had a pretty facial features and is insanely talented, but she’s trapped herself in a corner. Her entire identity is music + glorifying her weight. Adele lost so much weight and people WENT AFTER her… imagine if Lizzo did that…. She’s become the face of the body positivity movement.
It’s so funny to hear people talk about things they have no idea about 😂 it’s the best comedy
Shallon’s mentioned this for and against before and it’s so beneficial! I now go ‘is this for or against my goal?’ When I’m faced with a decision with food/money etc. It’s truly helped me. It brings me back to earth when I’m trying to dissociate/‘fuck it’ with a decision .
This video is high key motivational! It’s time to get healthy because you’re right it’s not comfortable to be overweight it’s just so hard to break those unhealthy habits. I think what really hit home was you saying that unhealthy people are just trying to survive and have less autonomy like I want to have control over my life and energy!
F**k it = throw out logic. Good translation
Shallon, Can you please do a video on Kanye’s public pleas for Kim? Even though he is seen dating women, he keeps wanting Kim back. Maybe a video on the psychology of how men process breakups, vs women.
An excellent example of body positivity is Adel she's is the exact opposite of lizzo she didn't care before losing weight about anything was said in the media she didn't care after she wasn't showing body either ways and she's wasn't apologetic about both when she was overweight she said i do music for ears not eyes and when she lost weight she did not celebrate it like it was her life goal she did not even address it until maby a year and a half later.. That's the real confidence
You are so articulate.
Hmm... really needed this message especially at the start of their year and I truly believe it’s life-changing advice. Thank you.
Health is true personal wealth. We have to invest in ourselves this is time if there was any. The number #1 cause of severe covid and death has been obesity and obesity related conditions, old age coupled with obesity and/or high A1C (indicator of diabetes and prediabetes) yet we hear nothing about this. Most patients developing severe covid have been obese, older and sick (all pre existing conditions). So yes, we have a responsibility to ourselves and our families to get healthy. The only obesity related conditions that runs in families are bad habits. When we take accountability and ownership of ourselves and and evaluate how why we are or aren't living the life that we desire, things start to change. Lets be the change and stop expecting someone to do it for us. Happy 2022!!
This is an old video but it just popped up in my recommended, and OH MY GOD. I literally started Saxenda this week because I’ve finally realised this. The body “positivity” movement has done so much damage to my mental and physical health, justifying shitty decisions and pushing me to be okay in a fat unhealthy body when I’m absolutely not. Today is the end of this nonsense for me!
“Whenever I said ‘Fuck it.’ oh it fucked me.” 😂 You’re not the only one.
You should talk about what the celebrity X factor is in a video. I dated a guy from Janes Addiction and another musician and everytime I met celebrities through them they have this AURA that you can sense from across a room or street. I can’t figure out WHAT it is. They aren’t always polished either. I think it’s that they vibrate at a higher frequency because they get so much positive attention. Whatever it is I know you know what I’m talking about and I want to be able to put my finger on it and emulate it better. I think people would like to know too. It’s the most bizarre thing, they have these magnetic auras. Almost like they aren’t human.
I’m getting weight loss surgery in the near future and my doctor made a great point that I am his favorite kind of person to operate on because yes I am healthy right now just overweight but he wants to make sure the surgery helps to makes me a healthy older person one day. Just because you’re over weight and okay right now doesn’t mean it will last forever.
WHen Lizzo did her cleanse and showed the slightest water weight loss, her fans LOST THEIR SHIT and accused her of promoting "Diet Culture" (uhhh...health?). I'm pretty sure she did this to pander to them, because she can't stand to not be liked. So sad.
You said it right-she can’t stand not to be liked. If being fat was so magical and fulfilling she wouldn’t have to say it all the god damned time. She’s sacrificing her health and future to pander to people who definitely don’t accept her no matter what. How sad.
Nobody is ever happy I feel when it comes to peoples weight. Like people are going to judge whether your heavy set or super skinny. People are always going to be like “oh your too big or like yay for you for body positivity” but then if your skinny people say, “oh you look sickly or your to skinny for this or like why can’t I have a body like this.” But like people I feel will complain if your body is big or super small. I just feel like people are always going to judge you.
YESSS SHE IS BACK! And better than ever😍 IS THIS THE NEW THEME MUSIC? I love it!
I think body positivity is taking care of yourself and recognizing that your body does amazing things and is so strong. Therefore, you need to fuel it properly.
Please the first intro music with "hey"...pleeeeaaaassseeeee..I want it back. Its your signature melody
About 20 years ago I broke my kneecap, the rehab began in a swimming pool, basically walking in a swimming pool. Then the injured person graduated to the gym for exercise. No overweight person made it to the gym, as their damaged knees could not take the weight on their healing legs.
It was then realised that being fat was a health issue.
Girl, I needed this video so much!! Love from Costa Rica 🇨🇷
Shallon you look GORGEOUS!!! Thank you for vlogmas!
1st for my girl !!
I hate fat phobia but I really HATE worshipping underweight or overweightness. It's legitamely nauseating to me.
Your videos are everything!!
Hilarious and your advice is second-to-none!
Thanks so much love! 💛
PREACH!! As a healthy person you said EVERYTHING I was thinking. I don't know how much free range these celebs have to preach a helpful narrative. I think Lizzo is just a pawn like so many other "entertainers" to push unhealthy behaviors, racism and just plain ole stupidity and immorality.
My sister in law. Classic cold blooded, can’t be alone, etc,, always the loudest (and most drunk) person in the room screaming how HAPPY and HOT she is. She’s not. She’s miserable.
Can I request a "how to stop being a dumpy" video?
My grandmother has been overweight for most of her life, after the age of 20, she turned 93 last month, is more lucid than the world's political leaders. But she took care of her health, especially after 60..she ate light meals, mostly vegetarian, started each day with muesli and yoghurt, went up the stairs of her building twice per day plus did gymnastics occasionally, took walks etc. My point being some people have a genetic predisposition towards plumpness and it would actually damage their health more to try to be stick thin. Just as some people are naturally slim, and it would hurt their bodies to eat 5000 calories of junk food per day to try to gain weight. This is why body shaming is stupid. Should fat be encouraged? No. But neither is shaming people for how they look actually going to improve anything. My main issue is with people who try to assign character faults to you because of how you look. I know people who are extremely hard working and also happen to be obese, and they still get called "lazy", whereas some naturally slim lazy-ass gets praised for "staying fit" when they could just have been given slim genes at birth. My point being you cannot judge a person until you have lived their lives. People could be obese for many reasons: hormonal imbalance, stress, physical or psychological trauma, genetic predisposition etc, it's not always about healthy habits. And even habits could be out of a person's hands. I know people who gained weight as a result of working night shifts, but they couldn't quit those jobs because they needed the money.
Celebrating obesity is another kind of privilege
Southside Chicago girl here... attended public school and regularly volunteer at them as a 35 year old adult... There are absolutely no damn discussions about Mozart lol
This was an incredibly motivating video, thank you shallon!!
yep. being fat is the last stronghold for social examination and commentary. can't say shit about anything or anyone else but let's (un)constructively critique the appearance of fat, so we can lowkey feel better about ourselves.
What’s about overweight individuals being praised on social media and having them burst out in anger when anything is mentioned about their weight? It doesn’t even have to be a hate comment, it’s so sad
In NA we call it having a "case of the fuck it's" which is typically not a good thing. We need to change the connotation and belief around "fuck it". We can have good fuck it's. Fuck it let me just go and exercise. Fuck it imma start journaling every day. Fuck it imma not order take out every night. Fuck it imma spend an hour a day on my hobby and see if I can make this into a career or monetize my work!!! Just gotta reframe those fuck it's and use it to better ourselves instead of self sabotaging.
I like you, you are bold and fearless. This is what we need in this world, people who are unafraid to say their mind.
2022 looks great on you Shallon :)
🎆🎇🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆
"Whenever I said 'Fuck it!' it fucked me." This!
The faux confident girls I know act super tough when in fact they're deeply insecure
honestly shallon you look great
Shallon you said SO many things that were 100% spot on in this video. Yes!
THANK YOU! Love your work! 😘