My Suicide Attempts/Battling Depression Story | Tianna B
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- Опубліковано 23 сер 2024
- #NOLIFEISWORTHENDING #suicidalawareness
#DEPRESSION
In this video I talk about my depression and suicide attempts. I know because of Covid many people may be struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts, and I wanted to tell my story to let them know that they aren’t alone and to reach out for help before it’s too late. Your life matters !!
I’m proud of you, thank you for being the voice for some of us wish we had to come out and speak about feelings ❤️
@@TiannaB444 most ppl that post videos like this I don’t stay to watch bc they don’t be serious, watching this I seen myself through you, you gave us yourself you gave us encouragement and passion. I like that ! Ofc I subscribe and hit that bell lol
When im dealing with anxiety I always pray, i can really say dat praying to God really works...and if u need a friend I'll be here for u, be brave always . ◍•ᴗ•◍
Be brave. You’re not alone. I suffer from bipolar disorder as well. Thank you for promoting mental health awareness
Hey girl, I just wanted to say I’ll be praying for you. I subscribed lately because of your reactions videos, and I couldn’t help but think of how beautiful you are and how your laugh and smile lights up the room for real. Of course you have purpose, everyone has purpose in this life. we are made in the perfect image of God and He loves us which the enemy despises and tries to get us far away. Remember that the enemy is a liar, he steals, and he wants us dead, But not God. Live for your daughter, your family, and most importantly live for God. Everything in this life will come to an end, but it will only be the beginning of life with the Lord. Let’s keep going on this journey of life together. Much love for you 🤍
Thank you so much this means the world to me you have no idea 💜💜
Really glad you’re still here. I never would of thought you suffered this based off of your energy in your past videos. You’re right, depression doesn’t have a certain face and I’m glad you opened up about this. Praying 🙏🤍
Heey Tianna!! Don't mind me I'm just a new subscriber that was scrolling through your videos. I came across your channel because of your Kpop reactions (Which I love so much) and when I saw this video it had me shocked. I would just like to tell you how proud I am of you. I know how hard it is to be in a state like that and I would just like to say that you are a winner for speaking out on it!!! It feels so powerful when other people share their experiences on social media. Especially since most people nowadays present their lives on social media as if it were some sort of paradise. Showing only the good side on social media removes the fragility and humanity of us people on the internet and unfortunately creates a space for online bullying and hatred. I'm just so happy to know that you have found the courage to share your experiences.
In regards to the Kpop community, I would just like to tell you to beware of the few toxic fans that come along with so many of the good fans. They don't know nothing about you and if they were to judge you based on your video's that would be something extremely foolish. I love ur channel and I respect you for your honesty. Don't let people ever get in the way of your progress as a human being.
Much love,
The UA-cam Community.
You're one courageous soul. Its not easy to face this. Proud of you.
I love this 🥺♥️ thank you for this !! More people will see this video and love that you made this and can relate.
You aren’t alone Sis we have a lot in common... Keep pushing baby girl
Thank you so much for telling your story. It takes so much courage to open up about mental health issues. I actually suffer from similar diagnosis you have and you’ve given me a voice by telling your own story. I thought I was alone in my battle against bipolar depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I frequently go into episodes of depression and I also get suicidal as well. I’ve been hospitalized several times because of attempts I’ve made in the past. Unfortunately, I am going through a tough time right now and I’m so grateful that your channel was on my recommended page. You really made me feel like there’s someone on this planet that understands what I’m going through. Thank you for making me feel less alone and know that I’m rooting for you. I’m sending all my positive vibes your way ❤️ you’ve really given me something I felt like I lost and that’s hope.
Please take good care of yourself. Thanks for sharing your story. I wish you every success.
Thank you for sharing your story. Talking about mental health struggles normalizes and helps others feel like they matter ❤️
I really appreciate you telling your story. The more we talk openly about mental health the less people might feel that they're alone with these problems and feelings.
I think the way we've organized our society holds a lot of fault. We can't continue pushing our minds and bodies the way we do, we're just not ment/build for this kind of pressure. And because it's still such a taboo to show weakness, so many of us feel that it's only us. That's why it's so important that people like you speak up about it. Thank you so much. 💜
And yes, I'm talking from personal experience. Having fought anxiety and depression for the last 30 years - and always will - I've had a lot of time to ponder on the subject and these are just some of my personal opinions on it.
Glad that you're still here and all the best to you. 💜😘👍💜
I know where you're coming from. I'm 63 and my life is in complete turmoil atm and it looks like after being happily partnered for 32 years, this may be coming to an end. So much anger from one side and so many tears on the other over one little text message when i was having a bad day after being in chronic pain for 6 weeks. Suicidal ideation is my constant companion 😢
I really hope things get better for you and I really hope you are okay. Remember that "it's okay, not to feel okay". Please stay strong. You are so much stronger than you think. "Be proud of how you've been handling all of these, the silent battles you fought, the moments you had to humble yourself, wiped your own tears and pat yourself on the back. Celebrate your strengh". "You are a strong fighter, look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now". "Remember, no storm lasts forever. Hold on! Be brave! Have faith! Every storm is temporary and we're never alone". "Whatever life throws at you, even if it hurts you, just be strong and fight through it. Remember, strong walls shake, but never collapse". "Never forget: How far you've come. Everything you've gotten through. All the times you have pushed on even when you felt you couldn't. All the mornings you got out off bed no matter how hard it was. All the times you wanted to give up but you got through another day. Never forget how much strengh you have learnd and developed along the way". I'm so proud of you for staying strong! Please stay strong and I really hope you are staying strong. I wish you all the best. I'm always here for you and by/on your side. If you wanna talk, I'm always here for you. I'm soooo proud of you and you are doing/did soooo amazing, you are loved, you are soooo valid, you are so much more than enough, you are so important, you are so special. Don't let anyone bring you down. Do what you love and makes you happy. Don't forget to take a good care of yourself, stay hydrated and eat, sleep/rest well, stay safe, healthy, happy, strong and positive:)
By the way, the quotes are not mine, credits to owners:)
Been where you at. And trust me it's the worse feeling, and I've had attempted plenty times and I felt like God saved me from doing it. 🙏 but I hope you know you are enough, and you are somebody and I'm glad you're still here. And idk you like that but you are loved. And you deserve to be happy. Keep your head up❤ much love and you are real pretty
Girl if you tried that many times an it didn’t work than that was god showing u you are meant to be here ! You’re not alone
Wow, I could just point someone to your video to describe what its been like in my head my whole life. I'm a dude that suffers from 'the demon' as well, as part of the ole autism package. I know there is no cure for this. The only silver lining is realizing you are connected to a lot of other people who have this same problem of living with 'the demon'. Its this feeling that you are already dead, there's no point in going on and you aren't supposed to be here. It gets pretty dark and its been there all my life. 🤷♂
After you reaction to BTS and I'm your new subscriber. You said your bias is Suga aka Agust D. Please check out his the first mixtape 2016. If you are with that you should reaction his songs The last and So far away ft Suran from his mixtape. From J-ARMY 🇯🇵 I'm 64. My husband called me crazy BTS grandma. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Thank you for sharing. You’re amaZing! Stay strong and stay positive.
I've been suffering from PDST for years, this is an endless emotional 'roller coaster', and it's ok not to be ok.
Sending you love and joy in your life. Be safe💜
Fighting.
By the way, my bais - Suga and RM 😉
I discovered your channel yesterday you are amazing. Keep going everyone is proud of you ❤️
Sorry for my bad English 🥲
Thank you so much for making this video, it's amazing how well you expressed yourself, and extremely brave to be so open about your pain. I'm really sorry for everything you've been through. I've been on a long journey with mental health myself so I'll say a few things in the hope it's helpful for you or anyone else reading this. First of all, reaching out to people, getting help from a therapist, and medication if needed are all really important steps, but beyond that it can be a long journey (probably a life-long journey) to find your true 'self' amongst the fog of dissociation and the pain, to nurture that self, and to build solid internal structures to support you even when times are hard. I think for a lot of us there is some kind of childhood trauma involved when we trace it back - be that 'dramatic' trauma like being attacked or violated, or 'subtle' trauma like being alone, unheard, unseen, trapped, constantly stressed - these things can affect us very, very deeply and literally change the way our brains develop.
For myself, I spent many years feeling like I would never get out of that mire, like the fog just stretched on endlessly in all directions, and every time I tried to do anything it hurt... trying to do move, talk, think, doing anything at all felt like being stabbed over and over. The only way to survive those feelings was to either shut down and stop moving, stop doing anything, become completely still, or to disconnect from myself and become an empty shell which could move around and do things and 'achieve' but was completely dead inside. It felt like there was an endlessly deep pit inside me which I could fall into at any moment and be consumed... other times it felt like I was a piece of shattered glass, the pieces barely held together, and at any moment those pieces might start drifting apart into the sky, start dissolving into nothingness. I often felt like I just didn't really exist, like I was a ghost, or else I felt too real and everything was pain and fear and my thoughts were like static. I know that feeling where pain is just endless, where the idea of hope almost makes you angry, because how could you have hope when you've tried and tried and tried and tried and nothing worked? Or the feeling where that tiny flame of hope has disappeared out of view and you're consumed in the fog, and can't see anything at all.
But here I am years later and I'm still going. I'm still struggling but life is so much better than it used to be. I can't say the path will be the same for everyone, but for me what helped was a mix of different things. Getting professional help is important - I've seen a few therapists and it takes time to find someone who you can really connect to, and to figure out what kind of therapy is going to help you, but even along the way I gained a lot just from talking to professionals and building up a clearer understanding of myself and my history and how it all fits together. Looking back over your life and finding where there are glimpses of your 'true self' to give you a sense of what you're fighting for... for me, it was remembering what I was like at age 3-4, before everything started to go wrong, thinking about that kid, that baby, full of life and potential, who did not deserve to suffer... this helped me to access my anger and rage about the things I've been through. Rage can be extremely overwhelming, but it's also extremely important. A good therapist can help you withstand and allow yourself to feel overwhelming things without shutting down or hurting yourself, and can help you access emotions in a safe way which would otherwise be so big you can't even fully acknowledge them. Getting to a place where I could feel rage on behalf of my younger self, where I wanted to become a protector for my younger self, getting to a place where I could let go of self hatred and feelings of being cursed, inadequate and ashamed, where I could see myself like a friend and truly accept that I was worthwhile, that my life was actually worth saving... that was a huge step. Getting to a place where I felt driven and motivated to work for a better life, for the life I deserved, no matter how hard it is and no matter how long it takes, because that little child I used to be still exists within me, and deserves a life that's worth living.
All that took a long time and a lot of support. I found it really helpful learning more about neuroscience and psychology and what was actually going on in my brain, though that might not be for everyone! There are lots of different therapy techniques out there which can help you approach things in different ways, including exercises, visualisation, meditation, talking therapy, physical therapy, art therapy etc. which can help you to approach, manage and work with traumatic memories or overwhelming pain, and can help you literally rewire your brain over time with a lot of practice.
Alongside that, getting support from people in your life, slowly working on deepening those connections, making new connections, finding community. Love is hard to find and hard to receive, but it is immensely healing. Finally, finding meaning in doing good work and helping other people, trying to make the world a better place... this is really important for giving you a reason to live. Some people might find spirituality helpful as well - personally I'm not spiritual at all and I find meaning in just working with the here and now - whoever you are there's a way forward.
Anyway, I feel like there's so much more I couldn't explain, but I hope anyone reading this can feel a little piece of hope from my story. The key thing is reaching out, accepting help even when you feel beyond help, giving it time, practicing patience and humility and meditating through frustration, because it really does take a lot of time, and a huge amount of hard work. Things are never going to be perfect, things will keep going up and down, and there will always be more work to do... but as someone who's been through it, like really really been through it for decades, I can say it's worth it. Keep going ❤
I cried with this!Thank you for sharing this with us!I’m a new subscriber and i really like your kpop reactions.
Keep going💜
Love you too, I'm glad you're here, I've been depressed too for years. It's halfway gone now though, I can find my smile sometimes. When I'm in it though, it feels like a heavy grey blanket, it just wraps around me and won't let go. I somehow realized though that the sun is always out there, even if it's behind the clouds, you just need the right set of eyes to see it. I hope you can see the sun sometimes, I'm here if you need someone outside your close circle to talk to. Be safe and watch more BLACKPINK, they actually helped me, seeing people that made their dreams come true.
I’m battling rn I thanc u for ur video
Stay strong 🖤🖤💪🏽
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story. Sending you a virtual hug.
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s inspired me to share my story. I love you and stay strong girl.
I am glad you're still with us, i have been watching your kpop reactions and i am loving your content overall.. i have also had these feelings of not seeing a future, and thinking down on myself.. i am hoping there is a happy ending for us all ♥️ good job 👍 bless u
Thank you so much ! I fight everyday, especially around this time of year. K-pop really helps me. I’m ready to start back reacting this weekend 🖤🥰 stay strong love! I pray for the same thing🤞🏽be blessed and happy 😊
Thank you for sharing your story , my mind has been there before , wish you luck on your journey through put life .
Thank you for sharing your story
I'm so proud of you for speaking out and turning it around. I came to your channel for BTS reaction videos but I found this and I'm just so proud. I've been there and it really does get better. BTS helps a ton to distract you too lol. You just need to stay positive, pray, see the beauty in the small things and talk about it with a professional and keep an eye on it. I just lost a friend to suicide last week and this made me feel better that someone else survived. I don't know, it a weird thought. BTS's song Grey and Blue also really helps. You should react to it too :)
May God be with you and may God Bless you ❤
You are so strong girl ❤️❤️ I hope you are better now and don’t forget we ARMYS purple you 💜💜
I just hope for your spark to keep shining so so bright that shadows are kept at bay
God Bless, praying for you better days 🌹
Thanks for sharing your story! Stay strong! It will all be Okay :)
my last suicide attempt, 12/2.
Overdosed on potassium. I died. Medical saved me.
Don't be sad just look to yourself you so beautiful you have beautiful smile you can do the better
Keep on praying, an ahm you're so beautiful!
I understand this in a very visceral way.
proud of you❤️i love you
Keep on going... we here for you!!!
I'm giving myself two years
I love and appreciate you💓
Yhur to beautiful but I understand I suffer it from anxiety and depression and eating disorder so I understand
Hello my love. Please know you matter, I had a Niece that had all of your same symptoms and she actually succeeded her attempt 12/29/20 ...
please reach out to me if you need anyone to talk to . I don’t want any one to ever go through this pain, my family is in a lot of pain over this ...
proud of u ❤️
Love this!
U bipolar? It seem like u bipolar .. hope u are on meds and whenever u feel low , remember, it's probably the pills that is not working anymore , perhaps u need it increased or changed, plzz remember u want to live and it's the meds that needs changing or the dosage, it's not that u want to die , the meds are not working . Plz always remember.. u beautiful young woman and may your life be awesome
I'm just tired....
I hope you get better you are very beautiful and jesus loves
But how long does one goes through all this ?
Groovy
I feel like I've seen you before somewhere.
PLZ IGNORE THE CRUEL COMMENTS IF U GET ANY , PLZZZ.. PPL CAN BE VERY CRUEL BEHIND A KEYPAD/ KEYBOARD . DO NOT LET FACELESS IDIOTS ON A KEYBOARD PUT U IN A DEPRESSION .. JUST DELETE OR LAUGH AT THE PATHETIC PEOPLE .. THERE IS MORE CARE IN THIS WORLD
Y’all be hurting my feelings man