The psych ward taught me one thing.... don't fail. The ward is miserable. You are trapped and surrounded by true psychotics. The help is minimal to non-existent. My mental anguish in there was even worse, but you don't want to tell the doctors or you're going to be imprisoned there longer.
I have worked in mental health for so many years and I worked for the state hospital that is a mental health center and I cannot recall any of the patients paying happy. I saw people who failed suicide attempts and they were so miserable that they weren't successful and the rest who had mental illnesses just came and went, they would be released and they would be back again So I don't see where the help actually was. Then I worked at two other mental health facilities who only received help with food and transportation to appointments so I have yet to see a good outcome from any struggle anyone has gone through and been "so-called" helped
You're right. It never gets better, it only gets much worse. In all ways unimaginable. But I could give you a slight correction in just one little thing, I think people are not lying, at least not all of them, many are just so hopelessly deluded and refuse to see things as they are so they make up phantasies about life being any good.
I just said this to someone I was very upset because they keep telling me it’s okay but it’s really not okay it never becomes okay we just become immune to bs
It actually goes both ways it can get better and sometimes it never gets for example I was better than what I was 2 years ago now it came all back plus some because of a high School it goes both ways you just have to find out what happened
If it's not getting better in just means you haven't found the right treatment YET. Never give up. Checkout douglas blochs channel healing from depression. You deserve a decent life.
Something I never understood is why people expect someone to be happy or grateful immediately after coming to after a failed attempt? I remember coming back to school and being asked by my counselor if I regretted it, if I was glad it didn’t work, her obviously wanting me to say yes. And it’s absurd, for those who did it to die, things get worse after the attempt if anything.
I think I can understand where people are coming from when they ask, especially those fortunate enough to never be so profoundly depressed. But, I agree with you in thinking it's unreasonable for those around us to expect us to be "happy" right away. Having something you think will work go wrong is pretty traumatizing in itself and it takes a while to accept first before moving on to "bettering yourself" in a mental health capacity. I think what it ultimately comes down to is those people potentially being uncomfortable with discussing suicide and/or just not understanding it and not knowing how to more appropriately respond to this point of recovery.
Why not just try again straight away? I'm just asking? What changes where you don't try again? I mean I can think of a few ways that would almost certainly do the job for definite. If there is no God and you just cease to be then ultimately it doesn't matter.
@@daithiocinnsealach1982 well there are several reasons. 1. As a minor I was being watched over even after I was out was of the hospital constantly. My options were limited to begin with. 2. It was scary, death is still scary. 3. Quite frankly I was afraid of the pain. And there are methods that would allow instinct to kick in and we would get ourselves out of the situation. 4. I wanted things to get better. It took me several years before I attempted to actually attempt. It’s just not an easy choice and I don’t think anyone wants to want to do it. We’re backed into a corner, and when I was out of the hospital there was some sort of impression that things would change. It takes a lot of effort to find a sure fire way. There are people with depression that are so depressed that putting forth that effort is too much, even. I don’t know if that makes sense. There’s a lot of nuance.
Absolutely. People try to guilt you into not doing it, which is EXACTLY what we want to hear...a guilt trip about how it makes THEM feel...then when you fail they expect you to have some miraculous revelation that you suddenly love life. It's doesn't help. At all.
I hear you. It's harder than anything non-depressed people could ever understand. I've had low-grade depression my whole life and suddenly as I got older, I've just gotten more tired - physically and mentally. I just turned 50 and hit full menopause. Everyone talks about hot flashes and the typical stuff but nobody mentioned all the other symptoms that can happen with the onset of menopause, among them a profound feeling of fatigue, and severe depression: a feeling of complete hopelessness, no sense of belonging or fitting in, and a strong desire to just reach the end. The only thing keeping me here at this point are my pets. I know if I left, there would be no guarantee that someone would love them and treat them the way I do, especially the one with some behavioural problems. I'm currently on a wait list for a HRT centre but I'm told it could take up to a year...this after telling my doctor I'm suicidal. The health care system is incredibly taxed and underfunded here. All you can do is endure it and wait. The only thing I can suggest is to advocate for yourself and keep trying as many different avenues as possible - hypnotherapy, vagus nerve breathing exercises, meditation (lots on UA-cam for all of these three things mentioned), counselling, CBD oil, exercise, get out in nature, be mindful of all the negative media consumed (shut off the news and watch only comedy movies and shows for at least one year - it does help). Then of course there is medication but we need to look at as many reviews to know what could happen and ask lots of questions and get a close friend or family to keep an eye out for any behaviour out of the norm that we might not notice ourselves. Give yourself a break on things you feel you need to accomplish. So much of what we think we need to do doesn't really matter in the end. Society puts way too much on success and accomplishment but we're not all designed to endure the same things.
Does it really get better!? Im 23 and I feel so empty . I have been waiting and working on feeling better since highschool. I haven’t felt a positive feeling for years ... Im just running out of energy!
Maria V Honestly I get how you feel, there's days I wake up and feel like just giving up cause I feel like my life won't get better, but trust me it will. Just keep your head up, you never know where you will be at a year or 5 years from now. You just have to give it time, and sometimes when I feel very depressed I like to just think of how greatful I am because honestly you have shoes, clothes and you went to school. There's some people all around the world who would love to be in you're position.💯 Idk if I explained myself good but just remember there are people who care about you, and ik you've probably heard that but it's true. Keep Ya Head Up.✌
Sorry I couldn't respond sooner! I think everyone's struggle is so individual that sometimes it's hard to know what to do. What might work for me, might not work for you. But yes, I think it is very possible for your life to get better. Sometimes it's a different mindset, or finding more that makes you happy, or therapy, or medication, or time passing, or multiple factors combined. Even though I think it can be helpful sometimes to remember how lucky you are to have shoes, clothes, and education, etc. that others in the world might not be given, it's not always necessary to think about things that are as detached. There's nothing wrong with thinking about yourself and your wants and needs. When it comes down to you questioning life and if you want to stay, it truly needs to be about you in that moment. One thing I find helpful to avoid the questioning feelings taking over is making plans. I don't like to back out of commitments. So, if I've made plans, whether it's going out to eat with a friend, taking a trip somewhere, getting a new pet, etc. etc. I'm less likely to let myself be taken over in suicidal thoughts or planning. I also find trying to make to relationships and interests (hobbies) are helpful. Even if you don't feel like you're missing out on something and feel busy, you might surprise yourself with something new an find a new passion or love for something in life. An important aspect to feeling better is not feeling 100%. No one feels 100%. Sometime having an just an "OK day" is good enough. Knowing that you got out of bed today and are willing to try again today, is good enough. And just because you might not be perfect or doing everything you wish you were in life, is ok, because you're you and that's truly amazing. You are absolutely here for a reason. Putting yourself out there and asking the questions is a great and positive step. You're very courageous for wanting to talk! The single thing I find is most important though is talking. Whether it is to a stranger online, a friend you trust, a therapist or a family member, talking is one of the best medicines! Sometimes leaving everything bottled up inside and not letting someone else in is what makes it worse.. I hope this was helpful and am more than willing to answer any other questions you might have or have a chat! You can reach out to me on social media if you'd prefer a private conversation.
Maria V I agree it doesn’t I am in my early fifties I lost everything I ever hoped for and each day is struggle it’s just waiting when all will end....
@Kristina Wood. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my boyfriend to suicide 16 1/2 years ago, and it was such a painful and confusing loss. It really changed me, forever. I was lucky to have found a support group through yahoo groups, way back before social media. Now there are suicide survivor support groups on Facebook, that’s where my group eventually ended up, and has grown. I’m so grateful I found them, the members helped me navigate the often dark path of this grief journey. And maybe you can find support in a group like that too. I didn’t do therapy for so long after, and was lucky to have found someone skilled in trauma therapy. The first relationship I got into, 5 1/2 years after he died, became verbally and emotionally abusive. So I ended up in good hands, because the trauma of losing him came back. I was in counseling with my priest when I lost him, that was very helpful for me as well. Please know you’re not alone, and there is support for the taking. ❤️
Hello happiest sad panda I'm deb , now we know of eachother and I'd be sad if you do this, we dont know eachother face to face but you committing suicide will hurt me a stranger just 2 minutes ago.. are you okay today
I'm going through that type of moment at this time, so I feel u... Holding on by strings don't b sad something going on bigger than what we understand.
Thank you for your video! I have been battling mental health issues for years and suicide is often a thought that comes up for me. I think it is great that you shared your experience and are willing to shine the light for those that feel lost. Thank you again.
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comment! It's definitely something I will never forget and mental health is always present in my life, but I think it can be helpful to talk about it and start a conversation.. There's not enough positive/realistic conversation around it. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me on social media :)
I'm not saying I would kill myself, but I understand the people that want to. I've felt depressed too. I don't want to kill myself, but I dont like living in this world.
Same here man way I see it I wish I died when I was young when I was still innocent now if I do it I’ll be more likely to go to a place worse then this I guess we just gotta power thru and live are lives hoping to go to a better place best of luck to you
Me too, I've thought about suicide plenty of times but I've never attempted or really planned it out, it's just the thoughts and the sadness that I have to live with. Hope you're doing okay btw.
I hate it when people says it gets better. I'm also bipolar and even though I now at 30 yo have very different problems than when I was a teenager, it's nowhere near okay. As I've aged I've been able to have a better perspective, I'm not as desperate about every situation any more, I can zoom out and see the bigger picture - but that also goes against me! I can see how I have wasted more than half of my life and there is no stopping that anytime soon. I'm on disabilities, will never be able to work, can't have a relationship, doesn't even live on my own right now... I have reasons to kill myself, my life is objectively a failure. However, I'm hardly ever, ever suicidal (don't know why). I won't be a number in the statistic, but the rest of my life will be meaningless, tragic and lonely. That's a logical assumption looking back on how it's been and become. So, no. It doesn't always get better. It seems to get better for everyone else, but never for me. I hate it. I feel so utterly hopeless sometimes :-(
Linn Samir Hi there! I'm sorry that you have to go through this and that you are stuck in your current situation. There are definitely options out there to work at home. You know, working at home in an office type setting where you sit behind a computer. That kind of stuff. I know there are work at home options for nursing and other fields.( you might want to google some other fields that you feel passionate about and know basic things about). But all those things that you just described do not make you a failure. There are certain things in your life that you won't be able to control so you have to accept those things for what they are. Are there a lot of outdoor activities you can do in your area like yoga classes, rugby, tennis, sculpting , that type of thing? You always want to be consistent at doing something that you love that will keep you occupied so that you don't have to think about your problems. I believe that right person will come into your life one day. Have you met anyone who has been in a similar situation? Starting out with people like that will help you cope and overcome these thoughts/feelings you have. It will make you feel like you have a strong support system. Do you have any interests or hobbies like reading, solving jigsaw puzzles, watching movies, etc? Anyone to talk to that genuinely cares about you? Do you have any singers or bands that you love that talk about the issues you have or help you feel happier? I have a few bands that could help. Have you always felt very unhappy and hopeless about your life and was there ever a time in your life when you felt the most happiest? To overcome these feelings of hopelessness, I would recommend you start journaling about your feelings and thoughts, listen to music that makes you feel happy and strong( i have a few songs I can recommend), and listen to short motivational talks on youtube. Some channels on youtube that have motivational talks is Team Fearless and Elon Motivation( you should check those out). Now you can do whatever you think works for you. Hope this helps you! Remember that you have a purpose to fulfill which is why you are still here with us. It will take some time to find that purpose but you could find it through what you love the most and what you feel most passionate about. I hope that you are feeling happy now and making progress. I will be sending peace and love in your direction♡ No matter what, remember to have a postive perspective on things. Try to find the positive in things and remind yourself of what you're most grateful for♡♡ Have a beautiful day and remember that you are very special♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Linn Samir Well somewhat. I have felt depressed before but my doctor never diagnosed me to see if i have it or not and I have social anxiety. I use to think people hated me but i'm done caring about what others think.
Linn Samir I highly recommend a physiologist and cbd oil. My father was exactly like you, his whole life did a 180 when he was 58 and tried cbd oil and a physiologist that he liked...finally. He is actually showering consistently and seems to be taking interest in things. Not many, but one is a big enough step for me!
+Internal Beauty Good. I don't care that much about what people think either. I don't live IN society, but rather outside of it, and then you are so shielded off other people that they lose their value. I hate hanging with "normal" people, they don't get me and I don't get them. Other ill people are the only ones I can connect with.
Battling Depression for 11 years and counting - I do know how you get to that brutal place, but to everybody struggling: Try to seek help - you are worth it and you are NOT alone! Xx
I’m 33. In the past two weeks I’ve tried twice. Too scared to do a big overdose but in too much pain from heartache and grief to stay. I hope your video helps others. I didn’t feel relieved or good to have survived my attempts. When I did wake up I just burst into tears. Because I knew it meant I had to go through it all over again. People seem to think if you talk about suicide for a long time that you don’t actually mean it. But it takes some of us a long time because we are either scared of dying, no matter how much pain we are in we will still be scared to die, or we are holding onto some form of hope, whether it’s a person or something. We talk about it to give ourselves a chance, in case someone has the words that will make a difference. In case things really do get better. For some of us, things don’t get better, and then the pain is too much, and we end it. I just want the pain to stop.
Your very strong to come forward and speak to bring awareness to depression / mental illness . hands down depression/ anxiety was my hardest battle of my life
I hope you both feel better now, please reach out for professional and not professional help when you need it and check out the playlist on my channel called mental health. Take this comment as a sign to stay alive
I really hope you go on to some kind of therapy job or working with patients. Not everyone is capable of relating to people but you are incredibly insightful and could make such an impact, the way a lot of professionals cannot. You go girl.
I went through something similar just almost 2 years ago, and I feel that I'm going back through it again. Your story is amazing and I'm glad you are alive! I'm glad you are feeling and doing better!
Thank you for your response! But hey, if you ever need/want someone to talk to, please feel free to message me! Twitter is @halliebratton and IG is @hbcorrespondence I know sometimes someone who doesn't know you or anyone you know can be the easiest person to talk to.. don't hesitate!
This video was uploaded on the day my stepmother passed away from fentanyl overdose. I held her in my arms when she went. It hasn't even been 2 years and it's still fresh in my mind, as if it happened yesterday, despite it being over 15 months ago.
I attempted suicide three times. The last time I overdosed during school where I was throwing up for days. I was never hospitalized for it and kept it a secret...life is hard, but life is temporary-remember that.
I tried on December 6, 2022. I had a similar situation as you in terms of method. Except it was my seizure meds I took. Four different ones, well over 100 grams total. Have zero memory of a point roughly 5-10 minutes after taking them to about 8-9 days after. Two cardiac arrests, a week long coma and a near-death experience. It is a miracle I'm alive. I'm so glad you were able to work through everything. Mental health is not talked about nearly enough. It takes so much strength to put your experience into a video. Stay strong!
Anyone suffering with self harm or suicidal thoughts just know you're worth more than negative emotions don't let negative emotions consume your life and happiness please seek help God Bless
Tu Ch Thank you! I did have suicidal thoughts a couple of months ago and about a year ago, too. I don't think they were that intense to the point where I couldn't get out of bed but I had suicidal thoughts basically because of comparing myself to other girls who looked preetier than me and because I was angry at my dad for coming off in a very judgemental way. I felt misunderstood during those times not only because of my dad but because of my classmates, too. I'm a pretty quiet person who is introverted , too so my social anxiety can sometimes feel like it's soaring through the roof. I thought that everyone hated me during this time and no one wanted to be my friend. I'm still socially awkward too and I felt misunderstood by classmates because I dressed differently than them. But I realized that those people are very insecure and jealous and are very irrelevant so I just learned to embrace my weirdness.♡
You did a beautiful job of telling your story. Youre very articulate. I hope you feel so much love and understanding- you do matter and youre family would be so lost with out you. Keep smiling, you are beautiful
Thank you for this insightful video. My beloved son just died September 30, 2018. I feel guilty and I feel like the mental health care system failed us. He was only 22 years old and I don’t know how to move on without him.
Aussie, my beloved brother died by suicide last month and I'm still processing it. If you're okay with it, wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing how the mental health system failed your son. No worries, if you would rather not share.
I’m such a failure. I just turned 24. I live with my bipolar mom in a single bedroom. I can’t get hired for any job no matter how hard I try. I can’t drive. Got no real support. We’re about to get kicked out of our place because I can no longer afford to pay for rent and food because I’ve been living off my savings. I’m thinking of ending it all but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t know how. I’m lost and scared.
I count myself lucky to have never suffered with suicidal thoughts but often times my paranoia and anxiety about death really gets me. I just want to say thank you and that you are an inspiration. This is your only video I have seen, so far, and I feel an instant connection to you. You have such a warm character and are gorgeous, if you don’t mind me saying.
HBCorrespondence you really are brave to have come out of something like that. I wish I could say the same. That I got over it but sadly I'm still trying to do that. I guess that's all I can do tho. Is try. Thank you for sharing this video. It's inspiring.
That’s really kind of you, but I definitely don’t deserve to be put on a pedestal. I’m definitely not perfect and have really bad days some times. Having support and talking is one of the most important things you can do and the fact that you can reach out and admit something difficult like that, is a really good step to wanting to be here still! Don’t let it be taboo! Keep sharing and talking to people, even if they’re strangers. I know some people would rather talk to strangers and some would rather talk to only one person, who knows them better than anyone. No matter how you need to approach it, talking is so great! ❤️
I'm so glad you are here. I took my sleeping pills before to not wake up. I took trazadone they are pretty much the same. You never know what people are going thru . This world needs to learn to be kinda to everyone no matter what.
Jennifer jo Hi there! Is everything going ok for you, now? You are absolutely right about that! I just don't understand why people are so mean and narrow minded about people's current circumstances/situations. If only there were more people out there who took the time to care for one another and be kind, everyone would be happy and healthy. No one would have to be suicidal or go through very unfortunate things. Let's all keep spreading the love, awareness, and positivity!♡
Internal Beauty I'm doing well... Not 100% yet. Just really hard when you have two kids two different dads and a boyfriend of 8 years that are not his. He loves all of us but is very quiet and hates an adult conversation. Seems like I want a family and a future and he just wants to be a kid
I’m 16 and I’ve attempted suicide 12 times over the last 2 years. At one point I tried 3 times in 1 month. Every time has put me in the hospital. My last time was in April 2018. I overdosed on pain killers went to sleep and woke up, upset thinking it didn’t work. I went to school felt very weird I was stumbling, had blurry vision, and very bad abdominal pain. I remember after lunch I went to the bathroom and I threw up blood. I started crying and someone walked in and got the nurse. She called my aunt and she took me to the hospital. I was in the hospital for 5 days because of all the past attempts my liver was giving up. After the hospitalization I was put in a psychiatric hospital for 2 1/2 weeks. Currently haven’t gotten any better.
Wow... i am so very sorry😔 i feel your pain, i really do. I’ve also attempted suicide, but just thinking about that number you shared makes me so sad and sick of the world and all the doctors and everything. Hearing about one suicide attempt makes me wanna fucking scream out loud because it’s so sad that anyone has to go through such horrible pain, including myself. You need help. I don’t know if you’ve tried to get help or tried medication but listen to this: you deserve to be happy. You deserve a great life story and you deserve to be healthy. I know it sounds hard and impossible and yes, it is hard. But i promise you that when you actually feel a sense of hope again, you will thank yourself for fighting through this pain even though almost everything in you said no. It gets better. Please believe in yourself. Be strong. You can do this. I believe in you. I love you❤️
Hey there. I remember my very hard battle with depression and a prayer that really helped me break free was, "Most Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, save us and the whole world" 500x
Mylee Thompson Please keep fighting! You don’t really want to die. You just want the pain to stop. Do everything you can to fight. Taking care of you should be your number one priority
12 attempted times? My God! Has it ever occured to yourself that you're here for special purposes? You wouldn't have survived that many times otherwise! Don't fight your own fate and torture your soul precious one! Idk where your faith lies but something is keeping you here with us? Has that ever crossed your mind? Do you think rational enough to grasp such thoughts? Because those are actually the thoughts that bring peace & happiness within yourself. You might be confused, distracted or disconnected? We're all here for a purpose but it's not to take our own life by our own hands. Wouldn't you rather save lives? I believe that's why you're still here. God has a purpose for many of us. Some of us are destined for such things. You're own faith will dictate your fate. You have more to live for than die for! You're never alone, did you know this, or you're not thinking about such awareness? That God watches and our Savior listens? You must think about such things. And since you have some time invest? If you invest some of that time toward some critical thought...for your Creator? His love is actually unconditional, not like here, where everything seems to have conditions and terms. When one manipulates the other or corrupts all the things happiness offers. I apologize if I offended you or caused you any emotional discomfort. My intentions weren't meant to cause such hurt feelings or anguish. I speak the truth, sometimes it tends to cause anger & hatred. Imagine that? You're loved and adored by many, but God adores you most! Don't take that for granted. Pray for strength to recognize the differences and I have faith you will rise above your current depressive thoughts. Is that asking you for too much? I'll leave you with that much to enchant yourself with. God blesses you! So don't turn yourself away with regrets only you can change! You have this because it's what you can control. So grasp it!
You should be proud of your courage in making this video... This video has touched many lives... Mine included. Anxiety and depression should be well understood in this day and age, yet it seems to be a topic that is taboo and a sign of weekness... That is why so many lives are lost... May God Bless you for your strength and for reaching out...
Thanks for sharing I have survived a few different and honest attempts. I'm glad u survived and thankful I did. There is hope for everyone but extremely difficult to find. ✌
i'm guessing you have a cleft lip? because so do i! i'm 15 almost 16 and have depression and anxiety. i get bullied everyday because of my problems and also get called so many names. its hard for me because every little thing is a big thing for me and as soon as someone says one thing it will ruin my whole day. i've attempted suicide 2 times, first time i overdosed on paracetamol last year, got rushed to hospital and had blood tests done, luckily they acted fast and i was fine. second time was 1 month ago where i cut my vein and again got rushed to hospital. they then kept me in hospital for 2 nights. i'm still struggling, but slowly trying to get better. thank you for sharing your story, means a lot!
You are correct, I do have a cleft. I was only bullied for it in elementary school though and I don't feel like it impacted my life much compared to other experiences. I am sorry you get bullied! Thank you for sharing your story with me! I know life can be really hard and feel like it's not worth it, so try to just take each day one day at a time and remember that you are worth it! You got out of bed today. You're you! And that's incredible! We're here for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is. Try to stay strong! And - if you ever want to talk or just need someone to listen to, feel free to reach out to me on one of my social medias :)
Jordan louise I was born with Microtia - one ear and an ugly skin flap for the other. I am pretty enough (on Facebook in Queensland if you want to judge for yourself). I'm very smart (school smart I mean). May I tell you the best thing about me after a similar start to you? I never ever make anyone feel the way I felt when I was teased and ridiculed at school. I'm a polite crusader for anyone being made to feel small. Forgive what will sound like trite nonsense to you right now but that poor sad heart of yours? Very soon it will be the most beautiful heart of anyone you know. Trust me. You can do it. Keep that in mind on the worst days. Soon your heart will sing in a very special way. I know you will find your way to it. Be brave little soldier. Young people of the future need champions like you xxx
Jordan louise It really will get better kiddo, talk to someone who relates and is positive . School is temporary your life is going to be far better than you can realize. God Bless you child 🙏🏼
Im happy for you that you are in a better place and happier now .. stay strong 🙏 prayers for everyone here fighting a battle no one knows about.. keep fighting and please seek help and keep talking❤️
I'm 43 yrs old the only 1s I have in my life are my kids and now my grandson. I always tell people that God gave me my kids to save me from myself because if they weren't here I wouldn't be eather.
Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. There are other mental disorders that can cause the darkness and it telling you the only way to shush it is suicide. Unfortunately, it will alway be a battle but if you can get on the right meds and have the right help, the suicidal days will be very far a few between. Right now I’m in a good place but it took a ton of work to get here. Thankfully, I never actually attempted but so many times had the plan but never carried it out. Much love to those of you who go through the darkness and keep it at bay. You are so strong for still being here! The ones who make fun of mental health and people who struggle, well they only do it because they are a waste of space on the earth anyways.
hi. my names alyssa and i’m also a suicide survivor. i understand what you went through. on may 4th 2018 i tried to overdose on pills. at the time i was taking anitriptaline for my concussion and always had aspirin and tylenol on me just incase and that night i remember i didn’t want to live anymore cause i struggle with depression and i felt worthless and i didn’t want to do anything anymore and didn’t want to deal with the pain anymore so i took 7 different pill bottles and and a lot of each. i started feeling sick so i ran down to my mom and i blacked out. i was sent to a psychiatric ward then to a teen behavioral center. so i know how tough it is to battle with things like that and i feel like this video helped a lot because i could relate to you a lot. keep your head up
Thank you for sharing your experience with the world. I'm so glad your attempt did not work! You are here for a reason. You are a beautiful , smart young lady, and you are helping others more than you know my friend!! 😊
its hard to look for positive things to look forward to when nothing satisfies you. Everything you try just seems to reaffirm that nothing makes you happy and that its futile. The older you get the more people dont seem to care because you're an adult and all this sadness is "childish" and you just need to grow up. Therapist suck and the hotline is a comedic joke that probably adds to the suicide rate rather than remove from it. At this point I kinda just play it like a game to see how far I can "survive" till I decide to let go. Depression is a single person war that never ends till the day you either take your life or natural causes do. Only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I dont want to burden my mother and sister and because I dont know what comes after yet.
@@pushparahi5681 I was there myself last month. It was a miserable experience. I think all I learned was to be more successful next time around. You don't want to wind up there. 😕
How were you allowed access to a phone or computer for UA-cam? I was admitted to a psych ward for 8 days in 2017 and they took my phone and I had to get permission to use the patient phone. Was treated like shit and as an inmate.
@@brandonmasters7819 When I was there I spent the first 3 days in the ER under 24 hour surveillance, before they had room in the psych ward. During that time I was allowed to have my phone. It still sucked but was WAY better than the ward, which was utterly miserable. It made you even more want to kill yourself.
I stumbled upon your video by accident. there are a lot of things that I don't understand about mental health, I'm glad you are still here, this life is too beautiful to miss it, I hope now you can focus on what you want from life and get better overall!! I truly think that the point of life is being happy and not being happy is what draws people to do this, do what you love , fight for what you want, focus on the things you want to achieve, don't hurt yourself there is a lot of people that love you and care for you this planet will never be the same without you!!
Thanks for your courage to share this. Ive been diagnosed as boarderline with manic depression phases and anxiety. Also drug addiction. I feel ur pain. When ur perspective gets better things get better. My perspective is awful now due to external factors but im getting there. Stay strong girl
All the support for you and shares like this do more for others than we could ever imagine! Love the video and found inspiration here for my channel and vids! Keep doing you!
I'm sorry for your past issues, but I'm so glad you are still here. You are doing a great service by sharing your experience sweetie. There is a purpose for your life... please know that!!
All depressive episodes are due to mental health, but are triggered by life. Like how a random event like a sound wave triggers an avalanche. Your mental health is an avalanche ready to go and life triggers it.
I lost my only sister 14 years ago. It doesn't really get easier to be without her. Wish I was with her, celebrating the new year tonight. I'll always miss her. Please think of your people.
I completely understand why a person can feel this way. I hope you have friends who are unconditionally accepting of you and your difficulties. Divine love be with you.
You were so eloquent in this video. You seem like a really cool nice empathetic person as well. I could see you being a good counsellor. I'm so glad to hear you're doing better now. Mental and emotional issues are such a struggle, I speak from experience. Xxx
So glad u r still here. You are an awesome person inside and out. Thanks for your bravery and courage to speak of all this. You are truly inspirational. Rock your life to the max... When you get 25 years older you will see so much beauty in the world....
I took the same medication in an attempt, the last thing I remember is being at home then I woke up in icu and had been in a coma. I wish it worked if I’m being honest
Could you be any cuter?I just adore you by watching this video. You remind me of myself when I was your age. We have the same look..The cute tomboy look and a super loving heart and personality.. I don't have bipolar but,I have struggled with horrible anxiety and depression all my life (on & off) and it is so very hard like you said to decipher where the depression is coming from as in environmental or chemical..I also suffer from suicidal idealization. I can literally think of a situation that has plagued me with depression in the past and feel like I am reliving the moment . It can bring me to that state of mind(ptsd) and feel all the emotions flooding back. I'm gay and my ex girlfriend hurt me so badly that I relive the things she said and did over and over in my head and I can't seem to shake it.. Has that ever happened to you? I hope I find a girlfriend that truly loves me and vise versa. I hope your doing well these days.I would love to hear what you experience also on the daily to deal with your emotions. I am going to check and see if you have more videos (haha) I'm sure you have an update you vlog'd.. Thank you for sharing your story ..I can tell you have a huge heart ..Much love ,peace & hugs to you...I could go on and on but I'll stop here..take care
I hate when ppl say buck up,butter cup like they know what its like too be so depressed you want too die, you dont but you cant escape the darkness thats in your mind ,my last attemtpt was a month ago, things are getting better.... thank you for sharing your story...
I think that more often than not, it doesn't really get better, we just get used to it. We have to build up enough strength to live with our depression, sadness, bad habits and suicidal thoughts. Accepting yourself for who you are and working around it to make your life as manageable as possible despite your mental health issues is all you can do. We most likely will never be happy to be alive but for the sake of our closed ones, we need to stay. Taking our own life would ruin multiple people's lives. So do your best, you've already made it this far, you can keep going. 👍
Great message. Very powerful. Especially right now...it seems more teens are contemplating suicide and depression is rampant. We, as people, have to learn how to love ourselves again. Breaks my heart for everyone...but especially for young people...
I'm going to do it one of these days. Not today, probably not tomorrow but one of these days. I'm 50 years old and I'm so tired of being alone and scared in this world. I want to home to my creator.
Just out of curiosity...what was going in your mind at the moment when u were attempting suicide? Someone close to my family commited suicide recently. I want to undestand more ....thanks. Be strong!
Im SO glad you are here to telk your story.. losing my best friend to suicide its a hard subject for me. But its ppl like you that show me people can get better 💓
One boy dumped me so badly, he used abusive words for me he has consumed me physically, mentally and economically I am unable to bear this pain, I can't find happiness, I m struggling to alive I m unable to study I m feeling so weak and want to die. His name is Dheeraj Shukla
thanks for your Video. I'm thinking on suicide a long time. Everyday i think do it!!! So many years i'm depressed, scared ... i dont want to go outside since some weeks. I think nothing will be better. I wish you the best, be proud of you
Bella Isa Hi there! Is everything ok now? Are you still having suicidal thoughts and did anything happen in your past that led to these thoughts? Have you tried anything to overcome these thoughts like therapy, journaling about your feelings, painting, or sports? Do you have people in your life that genuinely care about your well being and are there to help you overcome these thoughts? Hopefully, I can give you some encouraging words.
Internal Beauty hello, thanks for your words. I think of suicide every day. Today and yesterday in the evening my thoughts were extrem. I cant handle it anymore. Yes i'm in therapie since some years ... the last years were hard my depression goes stronger. I feel me alone. I have some very good friends, but they cant do anything that it will be better. they know about my situation.
I attempt suicide on a regular basis..I dont have a support system..I want to get better but I dont think its possible for me on my own..I feel so bad for people that are going through it..I definitely understand...
Does it really get better tho ? Honestly what I’m going through I don’t think will get better I honestly hate my life and wish I could just end everything I don’t know how much longer I can take I’m giving up on life I’m over trying
Taking the time to watch people’s stories and write me is not giving up! You’re very brave to ask questions and want answers! If you want to talk to me in a message and talk more in depth I’d be happy to listen. I know life feels terrible, and what’s the point. But there will always be something to help you move forward and hopefully, eventually, bring you out of this darkness.
michaela sardis You’re Worth EVERY LAST BREATH YOU BREATH. Things get so damn hard I understand but you can push through it. Fight! Fight for your life!
I wonder the same thing. People always say it gets better but I've been suffering for years now and I just can't see it happening, no matter how much I want to.
You are a very nice person, to care about others the way you do, even with your own problems you are working to overcome, you have a heart of gold! GBY (God bless you) Trish
Thank you for sharing your story. I have anxiety and depression, my first suicide attempt was when I was 19. I spent a week in the psychiatric ward, after being in the ER and having been given stuff to make me sick and bring up all the pills, etc. I hated it, and couldn’t wait to get out. I’ve had a few close calls, the first would’ve done it, but I told someone what I’d done and got taken to the hospital. I’ve been on and off meds all my adult life, but I’m able to reach out for help when I’m in crisis, before I get to that point. I’m happy you’re in a better place now too.
The psych ward taught me one thing.... don't fail. The ward is miserable. You are trapped and surrounded by true psychotics. The help is minimal to non-existent. My mental anguish in there was even worse, but you don't want to tell the doctors or you're going to be imprisoned there longer.
I never felt well the whole time I was in the psyche ward. The bed uncomfortable and the boredom.
Yep, the key is don’t fail
So ironic!! They put you in a psych ward where they make you REALLY want to kill yourself!!!
Thank you for this I appreciate your honesty
I have worked in mental health for so many years and I worked for the state hospital that is a mental health center and I cannot recall any of the patients paying happy. I saw people who failed suicide attempts and they were so miserable that they weren't successful and the rest who had mental illnesses just came and went, they would be released and they would be back again So I don't see where the help actually was. Then I worked at two other mental health facilities who only received help with food and transportation to appointments so I have yet to see a good outcome from any struggle anyone has gone through and been "so-called" helped
It never gets better. I wish people would quit lying and tell it like it is. Life is hell on earth.
You're right. It never gets better, it only gets much worse. In all ways unimaginable. But I could give you a slight correction in just one little thing, I think people are not lying, at least not all of them, many are just so hopelessly deluded and refuse to see things as they are so they make up phantasies about life being any good.
I just said this to someone I was very upset because they keep telling me it’s okay but it’s really not okay it never becomes okay we just become immune to bs
It never gets better...I have no hppe
It actually goes both ways it can get better and sometimes it never gets for example I was better than what I was 2 years ago now it came all back plus some because of a high School it goes both ways you just have to find out what happened
If it's not getting better in just means you haven't found the right treatment YET. Never give up. Checkout douglas blochs channel healing from depression. You deserve a decent life.
Something I never understood is why people expect someone to be happy or grateful immediately after coming to after a failed attempt? I remember coming back to school and being asked by my counselor if I regretted it, if I was glad it didn’t work, her obviously wanting me to say yes. And it’s absurd, for those who did it to die, things get worse after the attempt if anything.
I think I can understand where people are coming from when they ask, especially those fortunate enough to never be so profoundly depressed. But, I agree with you in thinking it's unreasonable for those around us to expect us to be "happy" right away. Having something you think will work go wrong is pretty traumatizing in itself and it takes a while to accept first before moving on to "bettering yourself" in a mental health capacity. I think what it ultimately comes down to is those people potentially being uncomfortable with discussing suicide and/or just not understanding it and not knowing how to more appropriately respond to this point of recovery.
Why not just try again straight away? I'm just asking? What changes where you don't try again? I mean I can think of a few ways that would almost certainly do the job for definite. If there is no God and you just cease to be then ultimately it doesn't matter.
@@daithiocinnsealach1982 well there are several reasons. 1. As a minor I was being watched over even after I was out was of the hospital constantly. My options were limited to begin with. 2. It was scary, death is still scary. 3. Quite frankly I was afraid of the pain. And there are methods that would allow instinct to kick in and we would get ourselves out of the situation. 4. I wanted things to get better. It took me several years before I attempted to actually attempt. It’s just not an easy choice and I don’t think anyone wants to want to do it. We’re backed into a corner, and when I was out of the hospital there was some sort of impression that things would change. It takes a lot of effort to find a sure fire way. There are people with depression that are so depressed that putting forth that effort is too much, even. I don’t know if that makes sense. There’s a lot of nuance.
Absolutely. People try to guilt you into not doing it, which is EXACTLY what we want to hear...a guilt trip about how it makes THEM feel...then when you fail they expect you to have some miraculous revelation that you suddenly love life. It's doesn't help. At all.
@@vincec.202 hi, how are you? I wanted to ask you something.
I’m exhausted to my soul. It’s all I can think about. For it to be over, sounds like a dream.
I hear you. It's harder than anything non-depressed people could ever understand. I've had low-grade depression my whole life and suddenly as I got older, I've just gotten more tired - physically and mentally. I just turned 50 and hit full menopause. Everyone talks about hot flashes and the typical stuff but nobody mentioned all the other symptoms that can happen with the onset of menopause, among them a profound feeling of fatigue, and severe depression: a feeling of complete hopelessness, no sense of belonging or fitting in, and a strong desire to just reach the end. The only thing keeping me here at this point are my pets. I know if I left, there would be no guarantee that someone would love them and treat them the way I do, especially the one with some behavioural problems. I'm currently on a wait list for a HRT centre but I'm told it could take up to a year...this after telling my doctor I'm suicidal. The health care system is incredibly taxed and underfunded here. All you can do is endure it and wait. The only thing I can suggest is to advocate for yourself and keep trying as many different avenues as possible - hypnotherapy, vagus nerve breathing exercises, meditation (lots on UA-cam for all of these three things mentioned), counselling, CBD oil, exercise, get out in nature, be mindful of all the negative media consumed (shut off the news and watch only comedy movies and shows for at least one year - it does help). Then of course there is medication but we need to look at as many reviews to know what could happen and ask lots of questions and get a close friend or family to keep an eye out for any behaviour out of the norm that we might not notice ourselves. Give yourself a break on things you feel you need to accomplish. So much of what we think we need to do doesn't really matter in the end. Society puts way too much on success and accomplishment but we're not all designed to endure the same things.
Does it really get better!? Im 23 and I feel so empty . I have been waiting and working on feeling better since highschool. I haven’t felt a positive feeling for years ... Im just running out of energy!
Maria V Honestly I get how you feel, there's days I wake up and feel like just giving up cause I feel like my life won't get better, but trust me it will. Just keep your head up, you never know where you will be at a year or 5 years from now. You just have to give it time, and sometimes when I feel very depressed I like to just think of how greatful I am because honestly you have shoes, clothes and you went to school. There's some people all around the world who would love to be in you're position.💯 Idk if I explained myself good but just remember there are people who care about you, and ik you've probably heard that but it's true. Keep Ya Head Up.✌
YUNG OZZIE thank you!
Sorry I couldn't respond sooner! I think everyone's struggle is so individual that sometimes it's hard to know what to do. What might work for me, might not work for you. But yes, I think it is very possible for your life to get better. Sometimes it's a different mindset, or finding more that makes you happy, or therapy, or medication, or time passing, or multiple factors combined. Even though I think it can be helpful sometimes to remember how lucky you are to have shoes, clothes, and education, etc. that others in the world might not be given, it's not always necessary to think about things that are as detached. There's nothing wrong with thinking about yourself and your wants and needs. When it comes down to you questioning life and if you want to stay, it truly needs to be about you in that moment. One thing I find helpful to avoid the questioning feelings taking over is making plans. I don't like to back out of commitments. So, if I've made plans, whether it's going out to eat with a friend, taking a trip somewhere, getting a new pet, etc. etc. I'm less likely to let myself be taken over in suicidal thoughts or planning. I also find trying to make to relationships and interests (hobbies) are helpful. Even if you don't feel like you're missing out on something and feel busy, you might surprise yourself with something new an find a new passion or love for something in life.
An important aspect to feeling better is not feeling 100%. No one feels 100%. Sometime having an just an "OK day" is good enough. Knowing that you got out of bed today and are willing to try again today, is good enough. And just because you might not be perfect or doing everything you wish you were in life, is ok, because you're you and that's truly amazing. You are absolutely here for a reason. Putting yourself out there and asking the questions is a great and positive step. You're very courageous for wanting to talk!
The single thing I find is most important though is talking. Whether it is to a stranger online, a friend you trust, a therapist or a family member, talking is one of the best medicines! Sometimes leaving everything bottled up inside and not letting someone else in is what makes it worse.. I hope this was helpful and am more than willing to answer any other questions you might have or have a chat! You can reach out to me on social media if you'd prefer a private conversation.
Maria V I agree it doesn’t I am in my early fifties I lost everything I ever hoped for and each day is struggle it’s just waiting when all will end....
No it doesnt
my boyfriend for almost 2 years took his life on the 1st of this month.. i miss him to much i wish he was still here
I'm sorry to hear
Kristina Wood ow
@sad content right bruh
Dywane Carter nah duh
@Kristina Wood. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my boyfriend to suicide 16 1/2 years ago, and it was such a painful and confusing loss. It really changed me, forever. I was lucky to have found a support group through yahoo groups, way back before social media. Now there are suicide survivor support groups on Facebook, that’s where my group eventually ended up, and has grown. I’m so grateful I found them, the members helped me navigate the often dark path of this grief journey. And maybe you can find support in a group like that too. I didn’t do therapy for so long after, and was lucky to have found someone skilled in trauma therapy. The first relationship I got into, 5 1/2 years after he died, became verbally and emotionally abusive. So I ended up in good hands, because the trauma of losing him came back. I was in counseling with my priest when I lost him, that was very helpful for me as well. Please know you’re not alone, and there is support for the taking. ❤️
I'm getting tired now. I'm afraid i might actually do it and that saddens me.
Are u ok
Hello happiest sad panda I'm deb , now we know of eachother and I'd be sad if you do this, we dont know eachother face to face but you committing suicide will hurt me a stranger just 2 minutes ago.. are you okay today
I understand the same feelings I don't Kno how to support you but through honesty 1st, I feel u just had a bad episode last 2 weeks
..
🙄 THE FUCK..... hellooooooooooooooooooooo?
I'm going through that type of moment at this time, so I feel u...
Holding on by strings don't b sad something going on bigger than what we understand.
Girl yeah. After my attempt, waking up pissed me off. I couldn’t even do that right.
That's what I'm scared of. I want mine to go through the first time
🎉because u have purpose❤
Thank you for your video! I have been battling mental health issues for years and suicide is often a thought that comes up for me. I think it is great that you shared your experience and are willing to shine the light for those that feel lost.
Thank you again.
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comment! It's definitely something I will never forget and mental health is always present in my life, but I think it can be helpful to talk about it and start a conversation.. There's not enough positive/realistic conversation around it. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me on social media :)
I'm not saying I would kill myself, but I understand the people that want to. I've felt depressed too. I don't want to kill myself, but I dont like living in this world.
Sometimes I wished that I never existed
Same here man way I see it I wish I died when I was young when I was still innocent now if I do it I’ll be more likely to go to a place worse then this I guess we just gotta power thru and live are lives hoping to go to a better place best of luck to you
Me too, I've thought about suicide plenty of times but I've never attempted or really planned it out, it's just the thoughts and the sadness that I have to live with. Hope you're doing okay btw.
Me too. I'm scared to actually try, but I need some major treatment. But without insurance it's impossible
God!! To much suffering,
I hate it when people says it gets better. I'm also bipolar and even though I now at 30 yo have very different problems than when I was a teenager, it's nowhere near okay. As I've aged I've been able to have a better perspective, I'm not as desperate about every situation any more, I can zoom out and see the bigger picture - but that also goes against me! I can see how I have wasted more than half of my life and there is no stopping that anytime soon. I'm on disabilities, will never be able to work, can't have a relationship, doesn't even live on my own right now...
I have reasons to kill myself, my life is objectively a failure. However, I'm hardly ever, ever suicidal (don't know why). I won't be a number in the statistic, but the rest of my life will be meaningless, tragic and lonely. That's a logical assumption looking back on how it's been and become.
So, no. It doesn't always get better. It seems to get better for everyone else, but never for me. I hate it. I feel so utterly hopeless sometimes :-(
Linn Samir Hi there! I'm sorry that you have to go through this and that you are stuck in your current situation. There are definitely options out there to work at home. You know, working at home in an office type setting where you sit behind a computer. That kind of stuff. I know there are work at home options for nursing and other fields.( you might want to google some other fields that you feel passionate about and know basic things about). But all those things that you just described do not make you a failure. There are certain things in your life that you won't be able to control so you have to accept those things for what they are. Are there a lot of outdoor activities you can do in your area like yoga classes, rugby, tennis, sculpting , that type of thing? You always want to be consistent at doing something that you love that will keep you occupied so that you don't have to think about your problems. I believe that right person will come into your life one day. Have you met anyone who has been in a similar situation? Starting out with people like that will help you cope and overcome these thoughts/feelings you have. It will make you feel like you have a strong support system. Do you have any interests or hobbies like reading, solving jigsaw puzzles, watching movies, etc? Anyone to talk to that genuinely cares about you? Do you have any singers or bands that you love that talk about the issues you have or help you feel happier? I have a few bands that could help. Have you always felt very unhappy and hopeless about your life and was there ever a time in your life when you felt the most happiest? To overcome these feelings of hopelessness, I would recommend you start journaling about your feelings and thoughts, listen to music that makes you feel happy and strong( i have a few songs I can recommend), and listen to short motivational talks on youtube. Some channels on youtube that have motivational talks is Team Fearless and Elon Motivation( you should check those out). Now you can do whatever you think works for you. Hope this helps you! Remember that you have a purpose to fulfill which is why you are still here with us. It will take some time to find that purpose but you could find it through what you love the most and what you feel most passionate about. I hope that you are feeling happy now and making progress. I will be sending peace and love in your direction♡ No matter what, remember to have a postive perspective on things. Try to find the positive in things and remind yourself of what you're most grateful for♡♡ Have a beautiful day and remember that you are very special♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Thank you very much for your reply! Very sweet of you
Linn Samir Well somewhat. I have felt depressed before but my doctor never diagnosed me to see if i have it or not and I have social anxiety. I use to think people hated me but i'm done caring about what others think.
Linn Samir I highly recommend a physiologist and cbd oil.
My father was exactly like you, his whole life did a 180 when he was 58 and tried cbd oil and a physiologist that he liked...finally.
He is actually showering consistently and seems to be taking interest in things. Not many, but one is a big enough step for me!
+Internal Beauty Good. I don't care that much about what people think either. I don't live IN society, but rather outside of it, and then you are so shielded off other people that they lose their value. I hate hanging with "normal" people, they don't get me and I don't get them. Other ill people are the only ones I can connect with.
This was very powerful and informing! Thank you for sharing your story. You're so brave!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to watch.
Battling Depression for 11 years and counting - I do know how you get to that brutal place, but to everybody struggling: Try to seek help - you are worth it and you are NOT alone! Xx
I’m 33. In the past two weeks I’ve tried twice. Too scared to do a big overdose but in too much pain from heartache and grief to stay. I hope your video helps others.
I didn’t feel relieved or good to have survived my attempts. When I did wake up I just burst into tears. Because I knew it meant I had to go through it all over again.
People seem to think if you talk about suicide for a long time that you don’t actually mean it. But it takes some of us a long time because we are either scared of dying, no matter how much pain we are in we will still be scared to die, or we are holding onto some form of hope, whether it’s a person or something. We talk about it to give ourselves a chance, in case someone has the words that will make a difference. In case things really do get better. For some of us, things don’t get better, and then the pain is too much, and we end it. I just want the pain to stop.
I understand
Your very strong to come forward and speak to bring awareness to depression / mental illness . hands down depression/ anxiety was my hardest battle of my life
Thank you very much for your kind words. I hope that the "was" means that you found a way to cope and live day to day easier?
HBCorrespondence
Yes found mine year or so. Thank you for your concern
I think my Suicidal Thoughts come from my life situation Mental Health and philosophy. I've fallen into nihilism
Because it is a fact. Life is about working against the inevitable void.
@@daithiocinnsealach1982 No, it's not, it's your totally individual perception
I hope you both feel better now, please reach out for professional and not professional help when you need it and check out the playlist on my channel called mental health. Take this comment as a sign to stay alive
come to JESUS
I’m sorry, I’m disabled can’t care for myself much physically anymore, not even walk, it’s so hard, I’m sending positive love 💜
I lost my younger brother to suicide recently. I appreciate your story. I’m glad you are doing well.
i’m so sorry for ur loss, it hurts a lot, i experienced the same thing hope ur okay
She's no longer with us.. www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/abqjournal/name/hallie-bratton-obituary?n=hallie-bratton&pid=189989631&
I'm sorry for your lost I lost so many people recently but not from suicide but I've been thinking about commiting so I really do understand.
How did he do it if may ask
I really hope you go on to some kind of therapy job or working with patients. Not everyone is capable of relating to people but you are incredibly insightful and could make such an impact, the way a lot of professionals cannot. You go girl.
Thank you so much! That's really very kind!
I went through something similar just almost 2 years ago, and I feel that I'm going back through it again. Your story is amazing and I'm glad you are alive! I'm glad you are feeling and doing better!
Thank you for your response! But hey, if you ever need/want someone to talk to, please feel free to message me! Twitter is @halliebratton and IG is @hbcorrespondence
I know sometimes someone who doesn't know you or anyone you know can be the easiest person to talk to.. don't hesitate!
This video was uploaded on the day my stepmother passed away from fentanyl overdose. I held her in my arms when she went. It hasn't even been 2 years and it's still fresh in my mind, as if it happened yesterday, despite it being over 15 months ago.
I'm very sorry to hear about your stepmother my daughter also passed away at the age of 33 years old from heroin and fentanyl overdose 😥
I attempted suicide three times. The last time I overdosed during school where I was throwing up for days. I was never hospitalized for it and kept it a secret...life is hard, but life is temporary-remember that.
sorry but why would you try to overdose at school?
just interested in the thought process behind that. i understand if you dont wanna answer.
Perhaps this individual did not want to do so in their family home.
temporary shouldn't last more than 30-60 years
I tried on December 6, 2022. I had a similar situation as you in terms of method. Except it was my seizure meds I took. Four different ones, well over 100 grams total. Have zero memory of a point roughly 5-10 minutes after taking them to about 8-9 days after. Two cardiac arrests, a week long coma and a near-death experience. It is a miracle I'm alive.
I'm so glad you were able to work through everything. Mental health is not talked about nearly enough. It takes so much strength to put your experience into a video. Stay strong!
I’m going through the worst time and I’m trying to find videos like this to help me find vitality and not attempt to do anything dangerous again.
Thankful you’re alive 🙏🏼
Im 38 now , starting to get white hairs , it’s doesn’t get better
How many years you got that Depression?
I truly feel you because I'm turning 65 soon and still feel anxiety, depression ect...
I never expected that I would live this long...
Anyone suffering with self harm or suicidal thoughts just know you're worth more than negative emotions don't let negative emotions consume your life and happiness please seek help God Bless
Tu Ch Thank you! I did have suicidal thoughts a couple of months ago and about a year ago, too. I don't think they were that intense to the point where I couldn't get out of bed but I had suicidal thoughts basically because of comparing myself to other girls who looked preetier than me and because I was angry at my dad for coming off in a very judgemental way. I felt misunderstood during those times not only because of my dad but because of my classmates, too. I'm a pretty quiet person who is introverted , too so my social anxiety can sometimes feel like it's soaring through the roof. I thought that everyone hated me during this time and no one wanted to be my friend. I'm still socially awkward too and I felt misunderstood by classmates because I dressed differently than them. But I realized that those people are very insecure and jealous and are very irrelevant so I just learned to embrace my weirdness.♡
God bless you too!
@@internalbeauty597 I AM WITH YOU .
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING GOD BLESSYOU AND KEEP YOU LOVE AND PEACE 💝💛💝
You did a beautiful job of telling your story. Youre very articulate. I hope you feel so much love and understanding- you do matter and youre family would be so lost with out you. Keep smiling, you are beautiful
Thank you for your kind words!
Thank you for this insightful video. My beloved son just died September 30, 2018. I feel guilty and I feel like the mental health care system failed us. He was only 22 years old and I don’t know how to move on without him.
Aussie, my beloved brother died by suicide last month and I'm still processing it. If you're okay with it, wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing how the mental health system failed your son. No worries, if you would rather not share.
I have bipolar 1 and the depression phase is worst. Suicide will often cross my mind during depression. Thank you for sharing your story
I’m such a failure. I just turned 24. I live with my bipolar mom in a single bedroom. I can’t get hired for any job no matter how hard I try. I can’t drive. Got no real support. We’re about to get kicked out of our place because I can no longer afford to pay for rent and food because I’ve been living off my savings. I’m thinking of ending it all but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t know how. I’m lost and scared.
I count myself lucky to have never suffered with suicidal thoughts but often times my paranoia and anxiety about death really gets me. I just want to say thank you and that you are an inspiration.
This is your only video I have seen, so far, and I feel an instant connection to you. You have such a warm character and are gorgeous, if you don’t mind me saying.
those 3 people who disliked this video... what is wrong with you?
Haha, thank you for the support! It happens.
HBCorrespondence you really are brave to have come out of something like that. I wish I could say the same. That I got over it but sadly I'm still trying to do that. I guess that's all I can do tho. Is try. Thank you for sharing this video. It's inspiring.
That’s really kind of you, but I definitely don’t deserve to be put on a pedestal. I’m definitely not perfect and have really bad days some times. Having support and talking is one of the most important things you can do and the fact that you can reach out and admit something difficult like that, is a really good step to wanting to be here still! Don’t let it be taboo! Keep sharing and talking to people, even if they’re strangers. I know some people would rather talk to strangers and some would rather talk to only one person, who knows them better than anyone. No matter how you need to approach it, talking is so great! ❤️
Rhiannon Jean 26 now😎 I disliked it just cuz she’s ugly and that scared me when I opened this vid
Insanity acctually , it is now 30 idiots (couldn't find a better word) who disliked this😢
I'm so glad you are here. I took my sleeping pills before to not wake up. I took trazadone they are pretty much the same. You never know what people are going thru . This world needs to learn to be kinda to everyone no matter what.
Jennifer jo Hi there! Is everything going ok for you, now? You are absolutely right about that! I just don't understand why people are so mean and narrow minded about people's current circumstances/situations. If only there were more people out there who took the time to care for one another and be kind, everyone would be happy and healthy. No one would have to be suicidal or go through very unfortunate things. Let's all keep spreading the love, awareness, and positivity!♡
Internal Beauty I'm doing well... Not 100% yet. Just really hard when you have two kids two different dads and a boyfriend of 8 years that are not his. He loves all of us but is very quiet and hates an adult conversation. Seems like I want a family and a future and he just wants to be a kid
You are so brave to share this! I pray that you will continue to do well. God bless you, sweetie.
I’m 16 and I’ve attempted suicide 12 times over the last 2 years. At one point I tried 3 times in 1 month. Every time has put me in the hospital. My last time was in April 2018. I overdosed on pain killers went to sleep and woke up, upset thinking it didn’t work. I went to school felt very weird I was stumbling, had blurry vision, and very bad abdominal pain. I remember after lunch I went to the bathroom and I threw up blood. I started crying and someone walked in and got the nurse. She called my aunt and she took me to the hospital. I was in the hospital for 5 days because of all the past attempts my liver was giving up. After the hospitalization I was put in a psychiatric hospital for 2 1/2 weeks. Currently haven’t gotten any better.
Wow... i am so very sorry😔 i feel your pain, i really do. I’ve also attempted suicide, but just thinking about that number you shared makes me so sad and sick of the world and all the doctors and everything. Hearing about one suicide attempt makes me wanna fucking scream out loud because it’s so sad that anyone has to go through such horrible pain, including myself. You need help. I don’t know if you’ve tried to get help or tried medication but listen to this:
you deserve to be happy. You deserve a great life story and you deserve to be healthy. I know it sounds hard and impossible and yes, it is hard. But i promise you that when you actually feel a sense of hope again, you will thank yourself for fighting through this pain even though almost everything in you said no. It gets better. Please believe in yourself. Be strong. You can do this. I believe in you. I love you❤️
Hey there. I remember my very hard battle with depression and a prayer that really helped me break free was, "Most Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, save us and the whole world" 500x
Mylee Thompson Please keep fighting! You don’t really want to die. You just want the pain to stop. Do everything you can to fight. Taking care of you should be your number one priority
12 attempted times? My God! Has it ever occured to yourself that you're here for special purposes? You wouldn't have survived that many times otherwise! Don't fight your own fate and torture your soul precious one! Idk where your faith lies but something is keeping you here with us? Has that ever crossed your mind? Do you think rational enough to grasp such thoughts? Because those are actually the thoughts that bring peace & happiness within yourself. You might be confused, distracted or disconnected? We're all here for a purpose but it's not to take our own life by our own hands. Wouldn't you rather save lives? I believe that's why you're still here. God has a purpose for many of us. Some of us are destined for such things. You're own faith will dictate your fate. You have more to live for than die for! You're never alone, did you know this, or you're not thinking about such awareness? That God watches and our Savior listens? You must think about such things. And since you have some time invest? If you invest some of that time toward some critical thought...for your Creator? His love is actually unconditional, not like here, where everything seems to have conditions and terms. When one manipulates the other or corrupts all the things happiness offers.
I apologize if I offended you or caused you any emotional discomfort. My intentions weren't meant to cause such hurt feelings or anguish. I speak the truth, sometimes it tends to cause anger & hatred. Imagine that? You're loved and adored by many, but God adores you most! Don't take that for granted. Pray for strength to recognize the differences and I have faith you will rise above your current depressive thoughts. Is that asking you for too much? I'll leave you with that much to enchant yourself with. God blesses you! So don't turn yourself away with regrets only you can change! You have this because it's what you can control. So grasp it!
@@andreashields6983 I want to
You should be proud of your courage in making this video... This video has touched many lives... Mine included. Anxiety and depression should be well understood in this day and age, yet it seems to be a topic that is taboo and a sign of weekness... That is why so many lives are lost... May God Bless you for your strength and for reaching out...
Im glad you are still here. Thank you for sharing your story. You are loved.❣🌹
Thanks for sharing I have survived a few different and honest attempts. I'm glad u survived and thankful I did. There is hope for everyone but extremely difficult to find. ✌
Just survived a very serious attempt myself. Just another failure of mine. 😓
Still with us?
i'm guessing you have a cleft lip? because so do i! i'm 15 almost 16 and have depression and anxiety. i get bullied everyday because of my problems and also get called so many names. its hard for me because every little thing is a big thing for me and as soon as someone says one thing it will ruin my whole day. i've attempted suicide 2 times, first time i overdosed on paracetamol last year, got rushed to hospital and had blood tests done, luckily they acted fast and i was fine. second time was 1 month ago where i cut my vein and again got rushed to hospital. they then kept me in hospital for 2 nights. i'm still struggling, but slowly trying to get better. thank you for sharing your story, means a lot!
You are correct, I do have a cleft. I was only bullied for it in elementary school though and I don't feel like it impacted my life much compared to other experiences. I am sorry you get bullied! Thank you for sharing your story with me! I know life can be really hard and feel like it's not worth it, so try to just take each day one day at a time and remember that you are worth it! You got out of bed today. You're you! And that's incredible! We're here for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is. Try to stay strong!
And - if you ever want to talk or just need someone to listen to, feel free to reach out to me on one of my social medias :)
Cankerous Booch you guys are awesome xxx
Jordan louise I was born with Microtia - one ear and an ugly skin flap for the other. I am pretty enough (on Facebook in Queensland if you want to judge for yourself). I'm very smart (school smart I mean). May I tell you the best thing about me after a similar start to you? I never ever make anyone feel the way I felt when I was teased and ridiculed at school. I'm a polite crusader for anyone being made to feel small. Forgive what will sound like trite nonsense to you right now but that poor sad heart of yours? Very soon it will be the most beautiful heart of anyone you know. Trust me. You can do it. Keep that in mind on the worst days. Soon your heart will sing in a very special way. I know you will find your way to it. Be brave little soldier. Young people of the future need champions like you xxx
I have cleft lip too☺
Jordan louise
It really will get better kiddo, talk to someone who relates and is positive . School is temporary your life is going to be far better than you can realize.
God Bless you child 🙏🏼
I’m glad you’re still here. Thanks for sharing your story
i cut for the first time this week, i feel empty and i dont know what to do but thank you so much for sharing this
Im happy for you that you are in a better place and happier now .. stay strong 🙏 prayers for everyone here fighting a battle no one knows about.. keep fighting and please seek help and keep talking❤️
I'm 43 yrs old the only 1s I have in my life are my kids and now my grandson. I always tell people that God gave me my kids to save me from myself because if they weren't here I wouldn't be eather.
Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. There are other mental disorders that can cause the darkness and it telling you the only way to shush it is suicide. Unfortunately, it will alway be a battle but if you can get on the right meds and have the right help, the suicidal days will be very far a few between. Right now I’m in a good place but it took a ton of work to get here. Thankfully, I never actually attempted but so many times had the plan but never carried it out. Much love to those of you who go through the darkness and keep it at bay. You are so strong for still being here! The ones who make fun of mental health and people who struggle, well they only do it because they are a waste of space on the earth anyways.
hi. my names alyssa and i’m also a suicide survivor. i understand what you went through. on may 4th 2018 i tried to overdose on pills. at the time i was taking anitriptaline for my concussion and always had aspirin and tylenol on me just incase and that night i remember i didn’t want to live anymore cause i struggle with depression and i felt worthless and i didn’t want to do anything anymore and didn’t want to deal with the pain anymore so i took 7 different pill bottles and and a lot of each. i started feeling sick so i ran down to my mom and i blacked out. i was sent to a psychiatric ward then to a teen behavioral center. so i know how tough it is to battle with things like that and i feel like this video helped a lot because i could relate to you a lot. keep your head up
Did you had the mental problems caused by that concussion? Was there any progress in it over the years ?
I’m so happy you’re alive and with us today. I’ve been there before as well. You are a blessing.
thank you for posting this. it helped me so much and i’m sure it helped more people then you can even imagine
Thank you for sharing your experience with the world. I'm so glad your attempt did not work! You are here for a reason. You are a beautiful , smart young lady, and you are helping others more than you know my friend!! 😊
its hard to look for positive things to look forward to when nothing satisfies you. Everything you try just seems to reaffirm that nothing makes you happy and that its futile. The older you get the more people dont seem to care because you're an adult and all this sadness is "childish" and you just need to grow up. Therapist suck and the hotline is a comedic joke that probably adds to the suicide rate rather than remove from it. At this point I kinda just play it like a game to see how far I can "survive" till I decide to let go. Depression is a single person war that never ends till the day you either take your life or natural causes do. Only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I dont want to burden my mother and sister and because I dont know what comes after yet.
Wow I wish you should find some peace in your life!!! ❤
You’re a beautiful soul and person inside and out. I can tell by your kindness and genuine way of talking. Keep it up and enjoy your life
I’m in the hospital on suicide watch right now, thank you for sharing your story it’s inspirational
U ok now?
@@pushparahi5681 I was there myself last month. It was a miserable experience. I think all I learned was to be more successful next time around. You don't want to wind up there. 😕
How were you allowed access to a phone or computer for UA-cam? I was admitted to a psych ward for 8 days in 2017 and they took my phone and I had to get permission to use the patient phone. Was treated like shit and as an inmate.
@@brandonmasters7819 When I was there I spent the first 3 days in the ER under 24 hour surveillance, before they had room in the psych ward. During that time I was allowed to have my phone. It still sucked but was WAY better than the ward, which was utterly miserable. It made you even more want to kill yourself.
I stumbled upon your video by accident. there are a lot of things that I don't understand about mental health, I'm glad you are still here, this life is too beautiful to miss it, I hope now you can focus on what you want from life and get better overall!! I truly think that the point of life is being happy and not being happy is what draws people to do this, do what you love , fight for what you want, focus on the things you want to achieve, don't hurt yourself there is a lot of people that love you and care for you this planet will never be the same without you!!
This has helped me so much, Thank you!
I'm really glad you found it helpful. You keep being strong as well!
Thanks for your courage to share this. Ive been diagnosed as boarderline with manic depression phases and anxiety. Also drug addiction. I feel ur pain. When ur perspective gets better things get better. My perspective is awful now due to external factors but im getting there. Stay strong girl
Middle school is the cause of all these:
Suicide
Depression
Mental health
Bullying
Medication
Over doces
Etc.
All the support for you and shares like this do more for others than we could ever imagine! Love the video and found inspiration here for my channel and vids! Keep doing you!
This makes me incredibly sad... RIP beautiful soul.
She died? :(
@@pastthecastlewalls1786 really? wow.. rip :(
She passed away???
@@karanveersingh3428 www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/abqjournal/name/hallie-bratton-obituary?n=hallie-bratton&pid=189989631&
I'm sorry for your past issues, but I'm so glad you are still here. You are doing a great service by sharing your experience sweetie. There is a purpose for your life... please know that!!
All depressive episodes are due to mental health, but are triggered by life. Like how a random event like a sound wave triggers an avalanche. Your mental health is an avalanche ready to go and life triggers it.
I’m so glad you’re alive. Thank you so much for sharing this story
I lost my only sister 14 years ago.
It doesn't really get easier to be without her.
Wish I was with her, celebrating the new year tonight.
I'll always miss her.
Please think of your people.
I completely understand why a person can feel this way. I hope you have friends who are unconditionally accepting of you and your difficulties. Divine love be with you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Wishing you nothing but the best in everything you undertake.
Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate it!
Your story is so touching and emotional. I am so glad you are still here. 💖
thank you for sharing this!
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch :)
Thank you, you have helped, and I wish you all the happiness in the world!
thanks for sharing ,you seem really strong.. and i am glad you DIDN'T!!
You were so eloquent in this video. You seem like a really cool nice empathetic person as well. I could see you being a good counsellor. I'm so glad to hear you're doing better now. Mental and emotional issues are such a struggle, I speak from experience. Xxx
this made me feel less alone, in february earlier this year i did the same thing with 35 pills of seroquel. thank you for sharing
Thank you for feeling brave enough to share as well!
Im praying for you...may u find strength in Jesus.God loves you!
Astrolana goodness, I hope you’re doing better.
I'm going to make sure...
Anyone else watching this in 2018...,and also she looks so adorable😂
2019!:) but yes, she freaking does!!her voice is so soothing...
2020!i agree she is beautiful!
@@twinklebigheart @wolfie Artz • 2 months ago
I'm sorry to tell you but she is no longer with us. Rest in peace.
congrats!!! so proud of you! ♡♡♡ very brave to share.
Thank you for sharing your story 💗
Thank you for posting this video. I would not be surprised if you helped someone seek help. Stay strong love.
I wish I could go sleep and never wake up
So glad u r still here. You are an awesome person inside and out. Thanks for your bravery and courage to speak of all this. You are truly inspirational. Rock your life to the max... When you get 25 years older you will see so much beauty in the world....
www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/abqjournal/name/hallie-bratton-obituary?n=hallie-bratton&pid=189989631&
you are really pretty
Malin yutuuub stop lying
🖕
Jake the dog who that meant to
Idk. just a troll😂
TheSwanster Shut up, she is pretty
I took the same medication in an attempt, the last thing I remember is being at home then I woke up in icu and had been in a coma. I wish it worked if I’m being honest
Could you be any cuter?I just adore you by watching this video. You remind me of myself when I was your age.
We have the same look..The cute tomboy look and a super loving heart and personality..
I don't have bipolar but,I have struggled with horrible anxiety and depression all my life (on & off) and it is so very hard like you said to decipher where the depression is coming from as in environmental or chemical..I also suffer from suicidal idealization.
I can literally think of a situation that has plagued me with depression in the past and feel like I am reliving the moment .
It can bring me to that state of mind(ptsd) and feel all the emotions flooding back.
I'm gay and my ex girlfriend hurt me so badly that I relive the things she said and did over and over in my head and I can't seem to shake it..
Has that ever happened to you?
I hope I find a girlfriend that truly loves me and vise versa.
I hope your doing well these days.I would love to hear what you experience also on the daily to deal with your emotions.
I am going to check and see if you have more videos (haha) I'm sure you have an update you vlog'd..
Thank you for sharing your story ..I can tell you have a huge heart ..Much love ,peace & hugs to you...I could go on and on but I'll stop here..take care
I hate when ppl say buck up,butter cup like they know what its like too be so depressed you want too die, you dont but you cant escape the darkness thats in your mind ,my last attemtpt was a month ago, things are getting better.... thank you for sharing your story...
I have anxiety, and I don't know if I have depression. I've been sad,tired,I don't feel like doing anything. I'm 11.
I hope you are doing better now.
@Dead Channel • 2 years ago
Same.
@@Silvia.Araujo oop im 13 now and feeling the same way
✨yay✨
@@kokichiouma5059 I am 14 right now
I think that more often than not, it doesn't really get better, we just get used to it. We have to build up enough strength to live with our depression, sadness, bad habits and suicidal thoughts. Accepting yourself for who you are and working around it to make your life as manageable as possible despite your mental health issues is all you can do. We most likely will never be happy to be alive but for the sake of our closed ones, we need to stay. Taking our own life would ruin multiple people's lives. So do your best, you've already made it this far, you can keep going. 👍
I wish it was a easy way out this nightmare
im looking for a way too...damn...there's no painless easy way to go
@@9sora-2b let me know if you find out a method
Great message. Very powerful. Especially right now...it seems more teens are contemplating suicide and depression is rampant. We, as people, have to learn how to love ourselves again. Breaks my heart for everyone...but especially for young people...
Thanks for your story. Keep going strong. Love from Lowell ma
I'm going to do it one of these days. Not today, probably not tomorrow but one of these days. I'm 50 years old and I'm so tired of being alone and scared in this world. I want to home to my creator.
hey, don’t give up yet man it’ll get better i promise it’ll take a long time but you have to be patient - i hope ur ok now :)
Just out of curiosity...what was going in your mind at the moment when u were attempting suicide? Someone close to my family commited suicide recently. I want to undestand more ....thanks. Be strong!
so glad you are still here.
J. chirsky uhh, she never said she’s suicidal...
@Amanda Rosales what happened ?
Im SO glad you are here to telk your story.. losing my best friend to suicide its a hard subject for me. But its ppl like you that show me people can get better 💓
Thank you for ur experience...i ll also get out of the bed right now .
One boy dumped me so badly, he used abusive words for me he has consumed me physically, mentally and economically I am unable to bear this pain, I can't find happiness, I m struggling to alive I m unable to study I m feeling so weak and want to die. His name is Dheeraj Shukla
thanks for your Video. I'm thinking on suicide a long time. Everyday i think do it!!! So many years i'm depressed, scared ... i dont want to go outside since some weeks. I think nothing will be better.
I wish you the best, be proud of you
Bella Isa Hi there! Is everything ok now? Are you still having suicidal thoughts and did anything happen in your past that led to these thoughts? Have you tried anything to overcome these thoughts like therapy, journaling about your feelings, painting, or sports? Do you have people in your life that genuinely care about your well being and are there to help you overcome these thoughts? Hopefully, I can give you some encouraging words.
Internal Beauty hello, thanks for your words. I think of suicide every day. Today and yesterday in the evening my thoughts were extrem. I cant handle it anymore.
Yes i'm in therapie since some years ... the last years were hard my depression goes stronger. I feel me alone. I have some very good friends, but they cant do anything that it will be better. they know about my situation.
Bella Isa I believe in you♡
I attempt suicide on a regular basis..I dont have a support system..I want to get better but I dont think its possible for me on my own..I feel so bad for people that are going through it..I definitely understand...
Yep... I take serequel,.... makes you super sedated.
Ebony Eclipse how do you get?
Speaking to a doctor or psychiatrist. It's a prescription medication.
I got prescribed saraquil for my paranoid schizophrenia
Have you noticed any negative side effects? I’ve heard weight gain is one of the main common side effects.
@@lucygod596 yes because it's an anti psychotic
Thank you for sharing. You are a brave woman, I know how difficult this can be to share personal events. I’m so happy you are doing better.
Does it really get better tho ? Honestly what I’m going through I don’t think will get better I honestly hate my life and wish I could just end everything I don’t know how much longer I can take I’m giving up on life I’m over trying
Taking the time to watch people’s stories and write me is not giving up! You’re very brave to ask questions and want answers! If you want to talk to me in a message and talk more in depth I’d be happy to listen. I know life feels terrible, and what’s the point. But there will always be something to help you move forward and hopefully, eventually, bring you out of this darkness.
HBCorrespondence can you message me on Instagram- msardis
michaela sardis hey, straight to the point, how are you doing?
michaela sardis You’re Worth EVERY LAST BREATH YOU BREATH. Things get so damn hard I understand but you can push through it. Fight! Fight for your life!
I wonder the same thing. People always say it gets better but I've been suffering for years now and I just can't see it happening, no matter how much I want to.
You are a very nice person, to care about others the way you do, even with your own problems you are working to overcome, you have a heart of gold! GBY (God bless you) Trish
seroquel is also a antipsychotic. it helps with other disorders... not just sleeping.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have anxiety and depression, my first suicide attempt was when I was 19. I spent a week in the psychiatric ward, after being in the ER and having been given stuff to make me sick and bring up all the pills, etc. I hated it, and couldn’t wait to get out. I’ve had a few close calls, the first would’ve done it, but I told someone what I’d done and got taken to the hospital. I’ve been on and off meds all my adult life, but I’m able to reach out for help when I’m in crisis, before I get to that point. I’m happy you’re in a better place now too.
Your looking realy well stay strong
I wish people would leave me alone. They keep bullying me. Im nice but tired 😢😢😢