Thank you! I have read the Babywhisperer books so many times, but found it hard to understand how it looks like to do PUPD. Your video has given me clarity and confidence, thank you! I can tell that you know both the books and your baby well and you have found a nice balance. Following Tracy Hogg's philosophy and methods have worked very well for my 3 children, even though I misunderstood PUPD a bit. I will adapt the way I use it, thank you!
It's quite an interesting thing to see how different babies are in what they need to learn to fall asleep. Your daughter seems to be relatively continuously crying with more or less the same intensity until the very end. After a week of doing PUPD, my 4-month-old either does not cry at all, just whines a minute or two and then takes 5 to 10 minutes to fall asleep. Or, if he happens to be overtired, he cries a lot louder and is generally quite unhappy but then relaxes and falls asleep within 10-15 minutes. From what I see in the video, you don't keep your baby in your arms long even if she keeps crying, you put her down after a minute. We tried that too and figured that our baby falls asleep faster if we let him soothe in our arms and only then put him into bed so that he is fully awake but happy from being in our arms. It takes us fewer cycles of PUPD to get him to fall asleep this way. We also do not have to cover his eyes, but try to avoid eye contact when he is already sleepy cause that can cause him to want to interact with us. But sometimes we have to slightly hold his arms if he struggles to fall asleep because they make jerky movements. We also tried not moving and not shushing at all while he is in our arms, but he absolutely hated it. Instead, we decided to take his props away one at a time, so we don't shush now but we do bounce a bit when he is in our arms. I try to keep bouncing to the absolute minimum that he needs in that particular moment so that we can slowly phase it out. Thank you for showing your experience, I am sure many parents will love seeing it done in practice.
I'm going to try pupd this coming Wednesday or Thursday and 🤞🏻 baby girl responda well to it. She's outgrowing her bassinet so I'm going to trnsition her to the crib at this time, as well. She already takes all her naps in the crib, so it won't be too unfamiliar. However, she only takes 30-45min naps (her sleep cycle) unless its a contact nap, and breastfeeds every 3hrs, so I'm anticipating a lot less sleep- initially, which will be rough.
It's always going to be most rough at first, but your desire to teach sleep will definitely pay off! I just want to recommend switching your daughter to a 4-hour routine as soon as you can, as it works really well in tandem with PUPD, and will hopefully also help with extending nap times!
@@WaitforJoy good question! It's the routine you want to have your baby on by 4 months and for sleep training as well. You can watch my video about it here: ua-cam.com/video/7oCXgvEIRNg/v-deo.htmlsi=bpEIKV05AzLujwUp
Thank you so much for this video. It brought so much value to me already. I am currently implementing PUPD method with my 4 month baby boy, and I have a few questions regarding my son's naps. I'm on DAY #2 of PUPD method and I'm not sure what to do when my son makes up 50 minutes into his 1st nap (or 2nd or 3rd np) and considering the fact that it usually takes him 20-30 minutes to finally close his eyes in his crib, he ends up sleeping 30 minutes (w/ his eyes closed) out of 50 minutes in total. When he wakes up, he "appears awake" but I know he should-or as suggested-could-have 2 hour nap. What did you do with your daughter in this situation-when she wakes up 35-45minutes into her falling a sleep? Would you continue PUPD approach all over again, until 2 hour nap time ends? How long should naps be for a 4month baby? Would you continue PUPD, hoping she will fall asleep again, to enter her 2nd cycle of sleep making it close to 2 hours? Would you start her wake window after she wakes up (no matter how long her 1st nap was?) - I would love to get your approach on naps, especially when our babies wake up half way through the point. What is the ideal approach? I would really (really) appreciate your response on this. PS: I wonder what Tracy Hogg suggests when it comes to babies waking up half way through the point during their naps. Does she suggest helping them to fall back a sleep and continue thier nap, making it 2 hours total with PUPD approach? What is her take on extention of naps and how long should we try to put them back a sleep and continue their nap with PUPD approach. Thank you in advance.
Hey, thanks for commenting! Tracy's approach is that you set the nap time - at 4 months your baby should be taking 2 2-hour naps and one 30-minute nap (you can see my video on it here: ua-cam.com/video/7oCXgvEIRNg/v-deo.htmlsi=TdEAQgg8YEO9dx4K). If your baby wakes up early, the nap is not over! You have to keep doing PUPD until the end of the nap time. However - if your baby is awake early and is NOT crying, then don't do PUPD until he starts crying. If he wakes up and is happy, just leave him in his bed until the end of the naptime, or until he starts to cry and needs PUPD. He wakes up early because he is struggling to link his sleep cycles together. PUPD will help him link 2-3 sleep cycles so he can have a full nap and get the rest that he needs. I always did PUPD until the end of the planned naptime with my first daughter (my 2nd daughter didn't really need much PUPD). That was the only way to teach her that she was supposed to keep sleeping, as opposed to her waking up after only one sleep cycle. I would have several naps where she never went back to sleep, but she would still be able to go another 2 hours awake until her next nap (some babies may not be able to stay awake a whole wake window after this, so watch your babies cues! it's okay if you put him down for his next nap a bit earlier than planned - just try to avoid him getting overtired). Within a few weeks (maximum) you should definitely see major improvement in his ability to sleep longer during naptimes! Let me know if you have any further questions!
@@xtinaxbabies Kristina, I can not thank you enough. I appreciate you letting me know about 2 2-hour naps and 1 30-minute nap. This is very-very helpful. I also found your suggestion on letting him stay in the crib, until the end of his 2-hour nap time, to to be insightful. You answered my one and only major question. :) Thank you for that. I am on day 4 (currently David is taking his 3rd nap of the day) and I already see major improvements in his ability to fall a sleep on his own-still with a little assistance coming from me, but I don't mind it. I feel like with every nap, he is becoming more and more comfortable with his space. The very first day I started PUPD method, it was so foreign to him and he cried and cried for the entire 2-hours, and I had to assist him (with PUPD) the whole 2-hours. Now that we are on day 4, he can lay in his crib for at least 10-15 minutes on his own, and only after 15 minute mark, I attend to him ones or twice (but only when he starts crying and by doing "shoooshing" and patting on his thigh, creating a rhythm.) I also noticed that he like to hold on to my finger, making sure I am near by, before he closes his eyes and falls a sleep (kinda sweet.) Krisitina, is this the best way to contact you incase I have a few more questions as I am going through PUPD sleep training? I would love to stay in touch somehow. My instagram is @allatsvor - instagram.com/allatsvor/?hl=en - if this is a good way to stay in touch and be able to ask more questions related to sleep training. I would really appreciate that. :) Have a lovely start to your week!
@@allatsvor386 I'm glad to hear that PUPD is helping you so much! it's always encouraging to hear stories about how it's working. Unfortunately I don't have any social media in this season of life so UA-cam comments really are the best way to reach me 😂 they're connected to my email so I stay on top of them pretty well! If you comment with any more questions, I'll be sure to reach out as soon as I can!
@@xtinaxbabies No worries! I'm glad I could message you here :) Kristina, there's a few more questions I would like to ask you... 1. I am planning to transition my (almost) 4 month baby from a 3-hour to a 4-hour routine very soon, and I wanted to ask what could be the issue with him not eatting his "meals" all at ones? I feed him with formula, and he almost never finishes his bottle all at once. It takes me an hour to complete his 5oz feeding. He eats 2oz right away, and then he refuses to continue.. we go for a walk and I offer him a bottel there, and he takes 1more ounce.. we come back home and I get him ready for his nap, and he finishes the rest, making it total of 5oz in that 1.5 hour wake window. I know it is not right. I wonder what could be the reason for him not having his entire feeding all at once and maybe you could offer a few suggestions on that? 2. My (almost) 4 month baby goes to sleep at 7pm (i offer him his last feeding at 6:30pm) and on most nights, he wakes up at around 1am-1:30am for his first night feed, followed by a 4am-4:30am feed. So he needs two feedings. I would like to eliminate those, but I do not know how. Very often, because 4am-4:30am feed is so close to his morning wake up time, which is anywhere between 6:30am-7am, he is not hungry, and I have to play with him first, and only then offer him a feeding. How can I break that cycle? I would like my day to start at 7am and i would like him to get a full feel all at once then. (5oz-7oz.) What are your suggestions on helping me get rid of that 4am-5am feed, so that he is very hungry at 6:30am-7am? Any techniques? (I've been really struggling with that because my whole day is off-schedule because my day starts without any consistency. Would love to hear your thoughts on that.. Thank you so much :)
@@allatsvor386 great questions! I am assuming he isn't hungry during the day because of those 2 nighttime feeds. I would first try to not give him full feeds at night. When he wakes up hungry, see if he can just be okay with half the amount he usually gets. Then hopefully he will be hungry enough to eat in the morning. (But if he is not okay with half feeds at night, just feed him full feeds so he can sleep well.) Then, at the 7am feed, offer him a bottle and see how much he takes. If he doesn't take the whole thing, then don't offer it again until his next feed (which with a 4-hour routine will be at 11am. I would definitely recommend switching to the 4-hour as soon as you can. I switch my babies around 3.5 months and they take it really well. It will help him take more full feeds throughout the day instead of just snacking). Then he should definitely be hungry enough to take in a full feed. Again, if he doesn't take it all at once, don't offer it again until the next feed. Continue that for the whole day. If you haven't already implemented one, I think a dreamfeed would really help! After his bedtime feed, put him down as usual. Then around 10-11pm, go to his room and try to keep him asleep but feed him a full feed. He should ideally be sleepy enough to not full wake up but hungry enough to eat a whole bottle. If he is able to do a full feed then, hopefully then he will only wake up once in the middle of the night. Then try to just make that nighttime feed a partial feed so that he can take a full feed in the morning. If that nighttime feed doesn't seem to budge after a couple days, then you can drop it cold turkey. He might have a rough night, but at 4 months it's totally age-appropriate to have no nighttime feeds as long as he is getting all full feeds throughout the day!
Hi Christina! After reading the book and understanding the philosophy of this method, I implemented it and today is day one. Since my son has never had a routine and has kind of been nursing every 3 hours (sometimes 2) and can hardly stay awake longer than an hour sometimes, I decided to follow the plan she lays out for how to go from a 3 to a 4 hour routine in 3 day increments. Today, my son basically screamed through his whole first nap while doing PUPD. He was very tired by the 2nd nap and as soon as I put him down and patted him lightly while singing to him, he tried to close his eyes and actually slept for like 10 seconds 4 times but each time would fling his arms out and wake himself back up and get frustrated (we started putting him in a sleep sack/wearable blanket instead of a swaddle since he started rolling at 3.5 months). I decided to try and swaddle him after he screamed for a whole hour and as soon as I did, he fell asleep with just a gentle pat on his belly!! I know you swaddled your daughter in this video and also remember reading that Tracy recommends to swaddle babies until up to 6 months or something? Obviously my worry is that he’ll roll over during the night when I’m not watching him on a monitor and go into SIDS which is why the recommendation is to unswaddle them when they roll. How did you manage with that and how long did you decided to swaddle your daughter? At 4 months when you implemented PUPD, was she startling herself and swinging her arms and waking herself up, is that why you continued to swaddle? My other concern is that my son moves a lot in his sleep and kicks and is quite strong and I know he’ll get out of the swaddles we have which are the same ones we used when he was a newborn. Did you have any issues with that? How did you tackle them? Anxious to hear back from you! ❤
If he is proficiently rolling and has been in a sleep sack, I wouldn't recommend relying on the swaddle for sleep. The swaddle can certainly help with the startle reflex, but babies do also tend to jerk themselves into sleep sometimes. We had our daughter in one when we sleep trained because she had just started to roll and it seemed like too much to her for us to take her out of the swaddle and start PUPD at the same time, but she was out of the swaddle 2 weeks after we started PUPD. If you just transitioned him out of the swaddle in order to start sleep training, it could be beneficial to keep him in it as you begin PUPD, with the intention of getting him out of it within a week or two (you can do one arm at a time). There's also a danger of the swaddle becoming a sleep prop, so you just want to be sure you aren't relying on it too much for sleep. Hope that helps!
Can you help me? I want to start doing this but my baby has been in a bassinet and uses a pacifier. How should I adjust this to help them sleep on their own? I plan to build his crib today but I tried going cold turkey with the pacifier last night and it was a terror show. I finally gave in and gave it to him. He only uses it for sleep and spits it out eventually but then wants it when he wakes randomly throughout the night. I don’t want to keep getting up to give it to him but I also don’t know if doing this method and taking the paci is just too much emotional turmoil at once. Send help! Also…thank you for your videos!
Thanks for commenting! My daughter also used a paci for sleep and I was up 4-6 times a night putting it back in before I did PUPD. The only solution I have to offer is to take it away completely when you start PUPD. I know it sounds difficult and I was absolutely terrified to do it, but it's the only way you can teach your baby independent sleep using PUPD and have it stick. Taking a paci away before 6 months of age shouldn't cause any emotional/attachment issues, but if your baby is older than 6 months, he may be more attached to it. I recommend offering it during the day as a comfort, but never having it in a crib or during PUPD (you could even try giving him the paci as he winds down before bed, but take it away once PUPD starts). When I did PUPD with my daughter, I gave my husband all of her pacis to hide from me so that I would not be tempted to give in and give her one. After the first night, she learned very fast that she wasn't going to get it anymore and even lost interest in it during daytime hours. I hope this helps - it might be hard but it's worth it!
The point of the shush-pat is to introduce two points of focus to your baby to get them to be "distracted" from crying and to help them relax so that they can do the work to put themselves to sleep. A white noise machine could definitely help block out stimulation to calm your baby, but that's not really the point of the shush-ing. But keep in mind, the shush-pat is an optional step, so you can omit it if your baby doesn't need it, or in this case, just use the pats. I found the shush to be completely necessary for my first daughter (even with a white noise machine on). With my second daughter, I only shushed when she was reeeallly upset which was not often - she responded really well to just the pats. The biggest difference between them was that I started the 4 S method with my second daughter from birth (as opposed to at 11 weeks with my 1st daughter), so my 2nd daughter needed less help overall in learning sleep. You can play around with it and bit and see if the shush helps your baby at all. If it's bothersome or if you see no difference in using it, you can drop it. The patting is definitely the most important part, so as long as they are soothed by that, I say that the shush part isn't necessary.
Thanks for the video! I’m so tempted to start this with my 4 month old son who has been sleeping in my arms since he was born but I’m so nervous. He’s not currently on a routine where he eats every 4 hours and his naps are so short so I find myself having to put him on my breast whenever he needs to nap. He also feeds twice or so in a wake window, once when he wakes up and then again a few mins before I rock him to sleep to make sure that he’s not hungry cause he cries a lot when being rocked to sleep. It seems like his bedtime is closer to 10pm now, so at what point should I start putting him down using this method? He also doesn’t have a routine for naps, but I watch him and follow wake windows.
Also, he’s used to waking up multiple times a night and the only way he’ll fall asleep is if he’s nursing (rocking doesn’t always work). So when implementing this method, am I allowed go feed him close to 2am for example to make sure than he’s slowly being weaned, or am I supposed to keep doing the PU/PD when he wakes up at night?
@@nadzo91 thanks for commenting! At the 4 month mark, your baby is totally ready for PUPD as well as the 4 hour routine, but it's really up to you and your desire to change methods! I was nervous to start PUPD with my daughter as well, but I knew that if I was consistent and worked hard, I would get her to the place I wanted her to be - sleeping independently and consistently. I do want to stress that it is definitely 'work' to do this method right, especially since it seems like you'll have a lot of adapting to do, BUT it's definitely not too late to start and it will all be worth it! To start, you should work on implementing the 4-hour routine during the day. Pick a 'wake-up' time in the morning and go from there (like 7am). Since feeding seems to be a bit of a sleep prop, I would recommend implementing PUPD the same day that you start the 4-hr routine. This means during the first nap, you would not feed him in order to put him to sleep, and would do PUPD instead. It will be easier to start PUPD during naps, since you won't be as tired or likely to rely on sleep props. When it comes to feeds, he is probably snacking throughout the day and not getting full feedings. On a 4-hr routine, he would only get 5 feedings a day, but they would be full feeds that he can last on. This also would be a big change for your day, because he may seem hungry without another feed during his wake window, but the only way to get him to take a full feed and get out of the habit of snacking, is to wait 4 hours between feeds. You can do your best to transition him to 4 hours by starting with 3 hours, and then slowly pushing it back to 4 over the course of a few days. When it comes to nighttime, continue doing PUPD at bedtime, but you'll need to establish an earlier bedtime. It should be about 12-13 hours AFTER the established morning 'wake-time' (7pm, 7:30pm, 8pm). Then you'll be looking at a 11-12 hour window for nighttime sleep. You'll do a dreamfeed about 3-4 hours from the last feed of the day, which usually lands somewhere between 10 and 11pm. If you've been able to space out his feeds 4 hours at this point, the dreamfeed will be a full feeding that should last him until the morning. If he wakes at night, you would do PUPD in order to get him to sleep instead of feeding him. It may take a night or 2 of no feeds for him to stop waking, but if you offer nighttime feeds, he will wake for them. I know it might be hard to totally stop nighttime feeds cold turkey, but at 4 months, your baby's stomach can hold more for longer, so nighttime feeds should no longer be necessary, as long as he is receiving enough nutrients during the day. If you want to do a slower wean, you could do a small feed at night if he wakes for it, but don't feed him to sleep, and make sure it's not a full feed and that you are being consistent with full feeds during the day. Hopefully that answers most of your questions! I also recommend watching my video on the 3 to 4-hour routine transition, as it talks a lot about getting to the 4-hour routine. Please let me know if you have any further questions or need any clarification!
@@xtinaxbabies thanks for your very elaborate reply! On one end, it was extremely helpful, but then again, I now feel like implementing this method is much more than just the act of doing the PUPD actions, it has a lot to do with how a baby eats, their routine, etc… do you feel like it was necessary to buy the book and read through the whole thing to have a more holistic understanding and then start sleep training? I kind of wish I came across this a lot sooner so that I could read this 400 page book and educate myself so that I could sleep train him NOW because of how exhausting it’s been. So, by waking my son up at 7am (even when he’s fallen as sleep at 10 or 11, it won’t be harmful to him since he would have only had 8 hours of sleep? I guess it’ll make him more tired and force him to have an earlier bedtime? And when you say make sure the baby has a full feed, I always feel like he does when I first feed him because he turns his face away and then I give him my second breast, he drinks and then turns away. Is there another way to know if they’d had a full feed?
@@nadzo91 Yes, it's definitely a lot more than just the PUPD! Everything with your baby's day is so connected - eating, sleeping, feeling secure, etc - that it's important to take a look at how you do the rest of the day before you can just tweak one part of it. I do recommend the book, it's a pretty easy read (she had sleep deprived moms in mind for sure when she wrote it!), and you can jump around to the chapters you need to read immediately and then go back to the ones that aren't as pressing. She definitely has a whole philosophy to everything she does, and it's nice to get all the information she presents directly from the source. I found her book when my daughter was 11 weeks old, and started implementing it around 12 weeks. I definitely wish I found it sooner, but better late than never! Yes, I'd hope waking him up at 7am would reset him for the day, even if he fell asleep late. I'd say the most important time you set is the wake-up time, because it sets the precedent for the whole day. Even not on Tracy Hogg's plan, it's one way to have a more predictable and consistent day. The result would hopefully be that he'd be ready for bed between 7 and 8pm, and that his first nap would ideally take place around 9am. Wake windows with babies are typically shorter in the morning and longer in the evening. It might be hard to wake him up that early, especially if he's ~finally~ asleep, but soon his circadian rhythm will take over and that will become his more natural waketime (and subsequent bedtime). Knowing it's a full feed is pretty vague with breastfeeding unfortunately. The way I found most helpful was to time each feed. I'd know the average time it would take my daughter to eat, and if one feeding was significantly shorter, I'd know it wasn't a full feed, and maybe just a snack. In the book, Tracy Hogg says another way to know is the time it takes between each feed for your baby to get hungry. At 4 months, it's developmentally appropriate for your baby to be able to go 4 hours between feeds. If they go any shorter and they are genuinely hungry, then you know they aren't taking a full feed, but they're just snacking or 'topping off' on a full belly.
@@xtinaxbabies thank you so much. This is so helpful!! I went ahead and purchased the book! I’m looking forward to implementing all of this and especially the sleep training. Really hope it works. Xxx
Thanks for commenting! Not all babies will be calmed down by the picking up action. Some may like it immediately and others may not care for it at all. No matter what, you cannot hold your baby for longer than 2-3 minutes or else picking up and holding them may become a prop. It’s more important that you do the action of picking up and putting down than it is to calm them during it. They will lose steam over time and learn how to self soothe. If picking up is too soothing, then we are not giving them the chance to learn how to soothe themselves.
@@xtinaxbabies ah, thank you for these clarifications! they make so much sense ! I have another question, if do not mind For naps: once baby is up after 45 mins and how long should i try to extend her sleep with pupd method? also 45 mins and if she did not fall asleep then start the awake time?
@@yelena_yelena If she is only taking 45 minute naps, you certainly should use PUPD to extend her nap time. If you're on the 4-month routine, then you would be aiming for 2 2-hour naps and 1 30-45 minute catnap. If she wakes at 45 minutes, then you would need to commit to doing PUPD for the remainder of the naptime. If you start her wake time too soon, you won't be teaching her to nap longer, and she likely will not be able to take longer naps. If you do PUPD and she doesn't fall back asleep, then start her wake time when it should be according to the clock, but keep an eye on her sleep cues so that she is not awake too long before the next nap.
Thank you! I have read the Babywhisperer books so many times, but found it hard to understand how it looks like to do PUPD. Your video has given me clarity and confidence, thank you!
I can tell that you know both the books and your baby well and you have found a nice balance.
Following Tracy Hogg's philosophy and methods have worked very well for my 3 children, even though I misunderstood PUPD a bit. I will adapt the way I use it, thank you!
It's quite an interesting thing to see how different babies are in what they need to learn to fall asleep.
Your daughter seems to be relatively continuously crying with more or less the same intensity until the very end.
After a week of doing PUPD, my 4-month-old either does not cry at all, just whines a minute or two and then takes 5 to 10 minutes to fall asleep. Or, if he happens to be overtired, he cries a lot louder and is generally quite unhappy but then relaxes and falls asleep within 10-15 minutes.
From what I see in the video, you don't keep your baby in your arms long even if she keeps crying, you put her down after a minute. We tried that too and figured that our baby falls asleep faster if we let him soothe in our arms and only then put him into bed so that he is fully awake but happy from being in our arms. It takes us fewer cycles of PUPD to get him to fall asleep this way.
We also do not have to cover his eyes, but try to avoid eye contact when he is already sleepy cause that can cause him to want to interact with us. But sometimes we have to slightly hold his arms if he struggles to fall asleep because they make jerky movements.
We also tried not moving and not shushing at all while he is in our arms, but he absolutely hated it. Instead, we decided to take his props away one at a time, so we don't shush now but we do bounce a bit when he is in our arms. I try to keep bouncing to the absolute minimum that he needs in that particular moment so that we can slowly phase it out.
Thank you for showing your experience, I am sure many parents will love seeing it done in practice.
I'm going to try pupd this coming Wednesday or Thursday and 🤞🏻 baby girl responda well to it. She's outgrowing her bassinet so I'm going to trnsition her to the crib at this time, as well. She already takes all her naps in the crib, so it won't be too unfamiliar. However, she only takes 30-45min naps (her sleep cycle) unless its a contact nap, and breastfeeds every 3hrs, so I'm anticipating a lot less sleep- initially, which will be rough.
It's always going to be most rough at first, but your desire to teach sleep will definitely pay off!
I just want to recommend switching your daughter to a 4-hour routine as soon as you can, as it works really well in tandem with PUPD, and will hopefully also help with extending nap times!
@@xtinaxbabieswhat's a 4-hour routine?
@@WaitforJoy good question! It's the routine you want to have your baby on by 4 months and for sleep training as well. You can watch my video about it here: ua-cam.com/video/7oCXgvEIRNg/v-deo.htmlsi=bpEIKV05AzLujwUp
Thank you so much for this video. It brought so much value to me already.
I am currently implementing PUPD method with my 4 month baby boy, and I have a few questions regarding my son's naps.
I'm on DAY #2 of PUPD method and I'm not sure what to do when my son makes up 50 minutes into his 1st nap (or 2nd or 3rd np) and considering the fact that it usually takes him 20-30 minutes to finally close his eyes in his crib, he ends up sleeping 30 minutes (w/ his eyes closed) out of 50 minutes in total.
When he wakes up, he "appears awake" but I know he should-or as suggested-could-have 2 hour nap. What did you do with your daughter in this situation-when she wakes up 35-45minutes into her falling a sleep? Would you continue PUPD approach all over again, until 2 hour nap time ends? How long should naps be for a 4month baby? Would you continue PUPD, hoping she will fall asleep again, to enter her 2nd cycle of sleep making it close to 2 hours? Would you start her wake window after she wakes up (no matter how long her 1st nap was?) - I would love to get your approach on naps, especially when our babies wake up half way through the point. What is the ideal approach? I would really (really) appreciate your response on this.
PS: I wonder what Tracy Hogg suggests when it comes to babies waking up half way through the point during their naps. Does she suggest helping them to fall back a sleep and continue thier nap, making it 2 hours total with PUPD approach? What is her take on extention of naps and how long should we try to put them back a sleep and continue their nap with PUPD approach.
Thank you in advance.
Hey, thanks for commenting!
Tracy's approach is that you set the nap time - at 4 months your baby should be taking 2 2-hour naps and one 30-minute nap (you can see my video on it here: ua-cam.com/video/7oCXgvEIRNg/v-deo.htmlsi=TdEAQgg8YEO9dx4K). If your baby wakes up early, the nap is not over! You have to keep doing PUPD until the end of the nap time.
However - if your baby is awake early and is NOT crying, then don't do PUPD until he starts crying. If he wakes up and is happy, just leave him in his bed until the end of the naptime, or until he starts to cry and needs PUPD.
He wakes up early because he is struggling to link his sleep cycles together. PUPD will help him link 2-3 sleep cycles so he can have a full nap and get the rest that he needs.
I always did PUPD until the end of the planned naptime with my first daughter (my 2nd daughter didn't really need much PUPD). That was the only way to teach her that she was supposed to keep sleeping, as opposed to her waking up after only one sleep cycle. I would have several naps where she never went back to sleep, but she would still be able to go another 2 hours awake until her next nap (some babies may not be able to stay awake a whole wake window after this, so watch your babies cues! it's okay if you put him down for his next nap a bit earlier than planned - just try to avoid him getting overtired). Within a few weeks (maximum) you should definitely see major improvement in his ability to sleep longer during naptimes!
Let me know if you have any further questions!
@@xtinaxbabies Kristina, I can not thank you enough. I appreciate you letting me know about 2 2-hour naps and 1 30-minute nap. This is very-very helpful. I also found your suggestion on letting him stay in the crib, until the end of his 2-hour nap time, to to be insightful. You answered my one and only major question. :)
Thank you for that.
I am on day 4 (currently David is taking his 3rd nap of the day) and I already see major improvements in his ability to fall a sleep on his own-still with a little assistance coming from me, but I don't mind it. I feel like with every nap, he is becoming more and more comfortable with his space.
The very first day I started PUPD method, it was so foreign to him and he cried and cried for the entire 2-hours, and I had to assist him (with PUPD) the whole 2-hours. Now that we are on day 4, he can lay in his crib for at least 10-15 minutes on his own, and only after 15 minute mark, I attend to him ones or twice (but only when he starts crying and by doing "shoooshing" and patting on his thigh, creating a rhythm.)
I also noticed that he like to hold on to my finger, making sure I am near by, before he closes his eyes and falls a sleep (kinda sweet.)
Krisitina, is this the best way to contact you incase I have a few more questions as I am going through PUPD sleep training? I would love to stay in touch somehow. My instagram is @allatsvor - instagram.com/allatsvor/?hl=en - if this is a good way to stay in touch and be able to ask more questions related to sleep training.
I would really appreciate that. :)
Have a lovely start to your week!
@@allatsvor386 I'm glad to hear that PUPD is helping you so much! it's always encouraging to hear stories about how it's working.
Unfortunately I don't have any social media in this season of life so UA-cam comments really are the best way to reach me 😂 they're connected to my email so I stay on top of them pretty well! If you comment with any more questions, I'll be sure to reach out as soon as I can!
@@xtinaxbabies No worries! I'm glad I could message you here :)
Kristina, there's a few more questions I would like to ask you...
1. I am planning to transition my (almost) 4 month baby from a 3-hour to a 4-hour routine very soon, and I wanted to ask what could be the issue with him not eatting his "meals" all at ones? I feed him with formula, and he almost never finishes his bottle all at once. It takes me an hour to complete his 5oz feeding. He eats 2oz right away, and then he refuses to continue.. we go for a walk and I offer him a bottel there, and he takes 1more ounce.. we come back home and I get him ready for his nap, and he finishes the rest, making it total of 5oz in that 1.5 hour wake window. I know it is not right. I wonder what could be the reason for him not having his entire feeding all at once and maybe you could offer a few suggestions on that?
2. My (almost) 4 month baby goes to sleep at 7pm (i offer him his last feeding at 6:30pm) and on most nights, he wakes up at around 1am-1:30am for his first night feed, followed by a 4am-4:30am feed. So he needs two feedings. I would like to eliminate those, but I do not know how.
Very often, because 4am-4:30am feed is so close to his morning wake up time, which is anywhere between 6:30am-7am, he is not hungry, and I have to play with him first, and only then offer him a feeding. How can I break that cycle? I would like my day to start at 7am and i would like him to get a full feel all at once then. (5oz-7oz.) What are your suggestions on helping me get rid of that 4am-5am feed, so that he is very hungry at 6:30am-7am? Any techniques? (I've been really struggling with that because my whole day is off-schedule because my day starts without any consistency.
Would love to hear your thoughts on that.. Thank you so much :)
@@allatsvor386 great questions!
I am assuming he isn't hungry during the day because of those 2 nighttime feeds. I would first try to not give him full feeds at night. When he wakes up hungry, see if he can just be okay with half the amount he usually gets. Then hopefully he will be hungry enough to eat in the morning. (But if he is not okay with half feeds at night, just feed him full feeds so he can sleep well.)
Then, at the 7am feed, offer him a bottle and see how much he takes. If he doesn't take the whole thing, then don't offer it again until his next feed (which with a 4-hour routine will be at 11am. I would definitely recommend switching to the 4-hour as soon as you can. I switch my babies around 3.5 months and they take it really well. It will help him take more full feeds throughout the day instead of just snacking). Then he should definitely be hungry enough to take in a full feed. Again, if he doesn't take it all at once, don't offer it again until the next feed. Continue that for the whole day.
If you haven't already implemented one, I think a dreamfeed would really help! After his bedtime feed, put him down as usual. Then around 10-11pm, go to his room and try to keep him asleep but feed him a full feed. He should ideally be sleepy enough to not full wake up but hungry enough to eat a whole bottle. If he is able to do a full feed then, hopefully then he will only wake up once in the middle of the night. Then try to just make that nighttime feed a partial feed so that he can take a full feed in the morning.
If that nighttime feed doesn't seem to budge after a couple days, then you can drop it cold turkey. He might have a rough night, but at 4 months it's totally age-appropriate to have no nighttime feeds as long as he is getting all full feeds throughout the day!
Hi Christina! After reading the book and understanding the philosophy of this method, I implemented it and today is day one. Since my son has never had a routine and has kind of been nursing every 3 hours (sometimes 2) and can hardly stay awake longer than an hour sometimes, I decided to follow the plan she lays out for how to go from a 3 to a 4 hour routine in 3 day increments.
Today, my son basically screamed through his whole first nap while doing PUPD. He was very tired by the 2nd nap and as soon as I put him down and patted him lightly while singing to him, he tried to close his eyes and actually slept for like 10 seconds 4 times but each time would fling his arms out and wake himself back up and get frustrated (we started putting him in a sleep sack/wearable blanket instead of a swaddle since he started rolling at 3.5 months). I decided to try and swaddle him after he screamed for a whole hour and as soon as I did, he fell asleep with just a gentle pat on his belly!! I know you swaddled your daughter in this video and also remember reading that Tracy recommends to swaddle babies until up to 6 months or something? Obviously my worry is that he’ll roll over during the night when I’m not watching him on a monitor and go into SIDS which is why the recommendation is to unswaddle them when they roll. How did you manage with that and how long did you decided to swaddle your daughter? At 4 months when you implemented PUPD, was she startling herself and swinging her arms and waking herself up, is that why you continued to swaddle?
My other concern is that my son moves a lot in his sleep and kicks and is quite strong and I know he’ll get out of the swaddles we have which are the same ones we used when he was a newborn. Did you have any issues with that? How did you tackle them?
Anxious to hear back from you! ❤
If he is proficiently rolling and has been in a sleep sack, I wouldn't recommend relying on the swaddle for sleep. The swaddle can certainly help with the startle reflex, but babies do also tend to jerk themselves into sleep sometimes.
We had our daughter in one when we sleep trained because she had just started to roll and it seemed like too much to her for us to take her out of the swaddle and start PUPD at the same time, but she was out of the swaddle 2 weeks after we started PUPD.
If you just transitioned him out of the swaddle in order to start sleep training, it could be beneficial to keep him in it as you begin PUPD, with the intention of getting him out of it within a week or two (you can do one arm at a time).
There's also a danger of the swaddle becoming a sleep prop, so you just want to be sure you aren't relying on it too much for sleep.
Hope that helps!
Ha, I wish my baby cried like that!! That’s nothing!! Mine throws full blown screaming tantrums!
Can you help me? I want to start doing this but my baby has been in a bassinet and uses a pacifier. How should I adjust this to help them sleep on their own? I plan to build his crib today but I tried going cold turkey with the pacifier last night and it was a terror show. I finally gave in and gave it to him. He only uses it for sleep and spits it out eventually but then wants it when he wakes randomly throughout the night. I don’t want to keep getting up to give it to him but I also don’t know if doing this method and taking the paci is just too much emotional turmoil at once. Send help! Also…thank you for your videos!
Thanks for commenting!
My daughter also used a paci for sleep and I was up 4-6 times a night putting it back in before I did PUPD.
The only solution I have to offer is to take it away completely when you start PUPD. I know it sounds difficult and I was absolutely terrified to do it, but it's the only way you can teach your baby independent sleep using PUPD and have it stick.
Taking a paci away before 6 months of age shouldn't cause any emotional/attachment issues, but if your baby is older than 6 months, he may be more attached to it. I recommend offering it during the day as a comfort, but never having it in a crib or during PUPD (you could even try giving him the paci as he winds down before bed, but take it away once PUPD starts).
When I did PUPD with my daughter, I gave my husband all of her pacis to hide from me so that I would not be tempted to give in and give her one. After the first night, she learned very fast that she wasn't going to get it anymore and even lost interest in it during daytime hours.
I hope this helps - it might be hard but it's worth it!
I know the 4th S is sushing but would a white noise machine help? That may not be as soothing to a baby.
The point of the shush-pat is to introduce two points of focus to your baby to get them to be "distracted" from crying and to help them relax so that they can do the work to put themselves to sleep.
A white noise machine could definitely help block out stimulation to calm your baby, but that's not really the point of the shush-ing. But keep in mind, the shush-pat is an optional step, so you can omit it if your baby doesn't need it, or in this case, just use the pats.
I found the shush to be completely necessary for my first daughter (even with a white noise machine on). With my second daughter, I only shushed when she was reeeallly upset which was not often - she responded really well to just the pats. The biggest difference between them was that I started the 4 S method with my second daughter from birth (as opposed to at 11 weeks with my 1st daughter), so my 2nd daughter needed less help overall in learning sleep.
You can play around with it and bit and see if the shush helps your baby at all. If it's bothersome or if you see no difference in using it, you can drop it. The patting is definitely the most important part, so as long as they are soothed by that, I say that the shush part isn't necessary.
Thanks for the video! I’m so tempted to start this with my 4 month old son who has been sleeping in my arms since he was born but I’m so nervous. He’s not currently on a routine where he eats every 4 hours and his naps are so short so I find myself having to put him on my breast whenever he needs to nap. He also feeds twice or so in a wake window, once when he wakes up and then again a few mins before I rock him to sleep to make sure that he’s not hungry cause he cries a lot when being rocked to sleep.
It seems like his bedtime is closer to 10pm now, so at what point should I start putting him down using this method? He also doesn’t have a routine for naps, but I watch him and follow wake windows.
Also, he’s used to waking up multiple times a night and the only way he’ll fall asleep is if he’s nursing (rocking doesn’t always work). So when implementing this method, am I allowed go feed him close to 2am for example to make sure than he’s slowly being weaned, or am I supposed to keep doing the PU/PD when he wakes up at night?
@@nadzo91 thanks for commenting!
At the 4 month mark, your baby is totally ready for PUPD as well as the 4 hour routine, but it's really up to you and your desire to change methods!
I was nervous to start PUPD with my daughter as well, but I knew that if I was consistent and worked hard, I would get her to the place I wanted her to be - sleeping independently and consistently. I do want to stress that it is definitely 'work' to do this method right, especially since it seems like you'll have a lot of adapting to do, BUT it's definitely not too late to start and it will all be worth it!
To start, you should work on implementing the 4-hour routine during the day. Pick a 'wake-up' time in the morning and go from there (like 7am). Since feeding seems to be a bit of a sleep prop, I would recommend implementing PUPD the same day that you start the 4-hr routine. This means during the first nap, you would not feed him in order to put him to sleep, and would do PUPD instead. It will be easier to start PUPD during naps, since you won't be as tired or likely to rely on sleep props.
When it comes to feeds, he is probably snacking throughout the day and not getting full feedings. On a 4-hr routine, he would only get 5 feedings a day, but they would be full feeds that he can last on. This also would be a big change for your day, because he may seem hungry without another feed during his wake window, but the only way to get him to take a full feed and get out of the habit of snacking, is to wait 4 hours between feeds.
You can do your best to transition him to 4 hours by starting with 3 hours, and then slowly pushing it back to 4 over the course of a few days.
When it comes to nighttime, continue doing PUPD at bedtime, but you'll need to establish an earlier bedtime. It should be about 12-13 hours AFTER the established morning 'wake-time' (7pm, 7:30pm, 8pm). Then you'll be looking at a 11-12 hour window for nighttime sleep.
You'll do a dreamfeed about 3-4 hours from the last feed of the day, which usually lands somewhere between 10 and 11pm. If you've been able to space out his feeds 4 hours at this point, the dreamfeed will be a full feeding that should last him until the morning.
If he wakes at night, you would do PUPD in order to get him to sleep instead of feeding him. It may take a night or 2 of no feeds for him to stop waking, but if you offer nighttime feeds, he will wake for them.
I know it might be hard to totally stop nighttime feeds cold turkey, but at 4 months, your baby's stomach can hold more for longer, so nighttime feeds should no longer be necessary, as long as he is receiving enough nutrients during the day.
If you want to do a slower wean, you could do a small feed at night if he wakes for it, but don't feed him to sleep, and make sure it's not a full feed and that you are being consistent with full feeds during the day.
Hopefully that answers most of your questions! I also recommend watching my video on the 3 to 4-hour routine transition, as it talks a lot about getting to the 4-hour routine.
Please let me know if you have any further questions or need any clarification!
@@xtinaxbabies thanks for your very elaborate reply! On one end, it was extremely helpful, but then again, I now feel like implementing this method is much more than just the act of doing the PUPD actions, it has a lot to do with how a baby eats, their routine, etc… do you feel like it was necessary to buy the book and read through the whole thing to have a more holistic understanding and then start sleep training? I kind of wish I came across this a lot sooner so that I could read this 400 page book and educate myself so that I could sleep train him NOW because of how exhausting it’s been.
So, by waking my son up at 7am (even when he’s fallen as sleep at 10 or 11, it won’t be harmful to him since he would have only had 8 hours of sleep? I guess it’ll make him more tired and force him to have an earlier bedtime?
And when you say make sure the baby has a full feed, I always feel like he does when I first feed him because he turns his face away and then I give him my second breast, he drinks and then turns away. Is there another way to know if they’d had a full feed?
@@nadzo91 Yes, it's definitely a lot more than just the PUPD! Everything with your baby's day is so connected - eating, sleeping, feeling secure, etc - that it's important to take a look at how you do the rest of the day before you can just tweak one part of it. I do recommend the book, it's a pretty easy read (she had sleep deprived moms in mind for sure when she wrote it!), and you can jump around to the chapters you need to read immediately and then go back to the ones that aren't as pressing. She definitely has a whole philosophy to everything she does, and it's nice to get all the information she presents directly from the source. I found her book when my daughter was 11 weeks old, and started implementing it around 12 weeks. I definitely wish I found it sooner, but better late than never!
Yes, I'd hope waking him up at 7am would reset him for the day, even if he fell asleep late. I'd say the most important time you set is the wake-up time, because it sets the precedent for the whole day. Even not on Tracy Hogg's plan, it's one way to have a more predictable and consistent day. The result would hopefully be that he'd be ready for bed between 7 and 8pm, and that his first nap would ideally take place around 9am. Wake windows with babies are typically shorter in the morning and longer in the evening. It might be hard to wake him up that early, especially if he's ~finally~ asleep, but soon his circadian rhythm will take over and that will become his more natural waketime (and subsequent bedtime).
Knowing it's a full feed is pretty vague with breastfeeding unfortunately. The way I found most helpful was to time each feed. I'd know the average time it would take my daughter to eat, and if one feeding was significantly shorter, I'd know it wasn't a full feed, and maybe just a snack. In the book, Tracy Hogg says another way to know is the time it takes between each feed for your baby to get hungry. At 4 months, it's developmentally appropriate for your baby to be able to go 4 hours between feeds. If they go any shorter and they are genuinely hungry, then you know they aren't taking a full feed, but they're just snacking or 'topping off' on a full belly.
@@xtinaxbabies thank you so much. This is so helpful!! I went ahead and purchased the book! I’m looking forward to implementing all of this and especially the sleep training. Really hope it works. Xxx
i thought baby supposed to get completely calmed down before putting her back. thank you
Thanks for commenting! Not all babies will be calmed down by the picking up action. Some may like it immediately and others may not care for it at all. No matter what, you cannot hold your baby for longer than 2-3 minutes or else picking up and holding them may become a prop. It’s more important that you do the action of picking up and putting down than it is to calm them during it.
They will lose steam over time and learn how to self soothe. If picking up is too soothing, then we are not giving them the chance to learn how to soothe themselves.
@@xtinaxbabies ah, thank you for these clarifications! they make so much sense ! I have another question, if do not mind For naps: once baby is up after 45 mins and how long should i try to extend her sleep with pupd method? also 45 mins and if she did not fall asleep then start the awake time?
@@yelena_yelena If she is only taking 45 minute naps, you certainly should use PUPD to extend her nap time. If you're on the 4-month routine, then you would be aiming for 2 2-hour naps and 1 30-45 minute catnap. If she wakes at 45 minutes, then you would need to commit to doing PUPD for the remainder of the naptime.
If you start her wake time too soon, you won't be teaching her to nap longer, and she likely will not be able to take longer naps.
If you do PUPD and she doesn't fall back asleep, then start her wake time when it should be according to the clock, but keep an eye on her sleep cues so that she is not awake too long before the next nap.
Try holding her a bit longer before you put her down.