How to Do Pick Up Put Down // The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2024
- Join me as we go through Chapter 6 of Tracy Hogg's book - Pick Up Put Down (PUPD)! This chapter is all about sleep training between 4 months and 1 year of age. PUPD is an amazing sleep training method that I loved doing with my daughter, and if you're considering it with your own child(ren), then I highly recommend it to you as well!
Here's a video of me actually doing PUPD! • Doing Pick Up Put Down...
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00:00 Intro
01:09 Prepping for PUPD
11:38 3-4 Months
14:24 4-6 Months
19:11 6-8 Months
21:46 8-12 Months
26:44 12 Reasons it's not working
39:00 Survival Strategies
44:28 Conclusion
Was hopeless to find what i am doing wrong because it was not working with me.but when you highlight that baby need to eat every 3-4 hours i know where is the issue
Hello! I’m from Thailand. I don’t know what kind of destiny (probably youtube algorithm😅) bring your VDO to me, but I want to say thank you sooooooo much. I found your VDO and I bought the kindle version of the “Baby whisperer” book. Then I try PUPD with my 4 and a half month old son. So far, it’s been just our second day, but it’s amazing!!! I used to rock him for at least half an hour every time he’s going to sleep. Now it took only 5-10 mins to put him to sleep(with some of crying but he previously always cry every times we rocked him to sleep though.). I don’t know what to say but thank you so much for your VDO, it save my life and my career. Most of all it took out my worry and make me feel so much better😊😊
Hello, Thank you so much for doing these videos on Pick Up Put Down method, your videos are god send. So my baby is around 15 to 16 weeks old, and currently is going through sleep regression. It all started last week when we notice that she would only take short nap during day and waking up very very cranky, and she would only continue the nap if it were a contact nap or sometimes she would resist the nap all together no matter how tired she is. She was also used to sleeping through the night already, but then starting last week, she started to wake up from 3am to 6am, and my husband ended feeding her just so he could go back to sleep as he work late at night and had only started to get sleep. The thing is we started the pick up put down method around 2 days ago, we also tweak it a bit by adding the shush pat, but still she would only take 30 minutes nap, her longest nap is lunch time nap which is around 45 mn long. Her bed time is around 7pm, we started her bedtime routine around 6pm, so that she have enough time to wind down and sleep by 7pm. We dun have to pick her up and put her down so many times, we just place her on the bed and shush pat, but even for her 7pm sleep, she would wake up after 30 minute, screaming, wanting to be pick up or shush pat back to sleep. Then she would sleep for a long stretch until 3 4 in the morning. As for her nap though, after her 30 mn nap, we would have a hard time putting her back to sleep, do you have more tips on how we can get her to link her sleep cycles, because we are struggling so much as she cannot connect her sleep cycle no matter day and night, and we need to like be there around the clock every 30 minute whenever she goes down for nap or sleep to pat and shush her back to sleep. thank you so much!
Thanks for commenting!
Have you put her on a 4hr sleep routine yet? This will drop a daytime nap and move bedtime to 7:30pm (you can start the bedtime routine at 7). This routine is age appropriate for babies who are between 3 and 4 months old, and you should make the transfer to it by 4 months. You can watch my video on that here - ua-cam.com/video/7oCXgvEIRNg/v-deo.htmlsi=dktF5sUQvEf7CNoK
As you get her on this routine (if she's not already on it), keep using PUPD to help her establish regular sleep times and to put her back to sleep if she wakes early.
Unfortunately, PUPD isn't magic, so you may not see the effects of it after only a couple of days. What PUPD does is helps your baby develop independent sleep skills, which will take her time to learn. It's also a skill for her to be able to link her sleep cycles together, so it will take time for her to do it well consistently.
Naptime sleep and nighttime sleep happen in different areas of the brain, so that is why she can sleep better at night than during the day.
As for those short naps, the only thing you can really do is do PUPD until the end of her projected nap time. If she's supposed to sleep from 9-11am, and she wakes at 9:30am, you need to commit to PUPD until it's 11am, even if she never goes back to sleep. I know this is easier said than done, but it's the only way to teach her that she should still be sleeping. If you are consistent in this, and you don't rely on sleep props or give up early, then you will definitely see results (i'd assume) in less than a week!
When it comes to bedtime problems, my guess is that she is struggling with a 7pm bedtime because it's too early for her (assuming her morning waketime is 7am). It should be 7:30pm at this point (or 12.5 hours after her morning wake time). Her brain is treating her early bedtime like another nap, so she wakes up again after 30mins.
Assuming she's not on the 4-hr routine right now, making that change should help fix the bedtime problem. If she's already on it, then try to help her stay up until when her bedtime should actually be. If she seems too tired in the evenings, it's likely due to the short naps during the day. Working on extending those should also correct evening-time drowsiness.
When it comes to the early wake-times, the only way you can beat those out is also with PUPD. Doing PUPD in the middle of the night is so hard, especially when you know feeding her can get her back to sleep faster and with less effort. The problem is that she will learn to wake up for food if she keeps being given it. And this is the case with any sleep prop (we struggled with pacifiers with our oldest).
Doing PUPD during these early wake-times is hard but should pay off fast, especially if she has already proven she can sleep through the night. When I started PUPD, I only had to do it one night with my daughter, even though she was waking up 3-4 times a night for a pacifier for about a month beforehand. It took her more time to get used to PUPD during naps and bedtime, but she got the message really fast with the nighttime PUPD. I'd hope this is the case for you! I'd be surprised if it took more than 3 middle of the night PUPD sessions, but every baby is different so you never know!
The thing that helped me the most is thinking - I could spend some time and effort to do PUPD for up to 3 nights in a row and be done with nighttime wakings (basically) FOREVER or take a shortcut so I don't have to be up for as long at night, but I'd never know how many more nights I'd have to get up and do this.
One more thing to consider: I also used shush pat in tandem with PUPD, but PUPD should always be what you start with. Just be careful about her depending on the shush pat too much - it may seem like PUPD isn't working if the shush pat is actually getting in the way and becoming a prop.
Hopefully some of this will help! Please let me know if you have any further questions!
Thank you for your thorough explanation!
I really like the idea of this method, as it seems the most gentle out of all I’ve ever heard of.
My son is 5 mo and I still swaddle him (he isn’t rolling over yet). My dilemma is: do I teach him to sleep without swaddle first and then do PUPD, or vice versa? Or do both at once?
He doesn’t really have a Moro reflex anymore, but he definitely wakes himself up with his hands throughout the night (rubs his face etc). I find that swaddling (I do hands only) helps him relax and sleep better. How did you transition your daughter out of swaddle?
Thanks for commenting!
I had my daughter swaddled until I did PUPD and had the same dilemma! The first night I did PUPD, I took one of her arms out of the swaddle, but I could tell it really irritated her. I was hoping she would figure out how to self-soothe with her hand since we also took away her paci when we started, but she didn't figure it out. At some point in the first day or two of PUPD, I decided to fully re-swaddle her until she got the hang of it better. Probably after a week or so of doing it, I was able to start swaddling her with her arms out and transition her to a sleep sack. It didn't bother her as much to have her arms out then, since she was already getting comfortable with the idea of independent sleep. Then she was able to actually use her hands to self-soothe and they weren't a nuisance.
If the swaddle is a comfort for your son, it could definitely help aide him in learning PUPD and being more comfortable with sleeping independently.
The only thing you want to be wary of is letting it become a prop. If you suspect the swaddle is a sleep prop, then I'd recommend taking it away completely cold turkey, but I don't think it's an issue as long as you do PUPD correctly and you intend to remove the swaddle as soon as possible (and don't have him in it after 6 months, even with no rolling).
If you want some more PUPD info, I have another video where I recorded myself doing PUPD with my daughter (and she's still swaddled in it!) here: ua-cam.com/video/xhu59aFuWCc/v-deo.html
Let me know if you have any further questions!
Thank you for this video, this clarified a lot of questions for me!
Does the book mention what to do if the baby starts to develop a preference for one of the parents putting them to sleep with PUPD?
I am currently at home with my baby so of course it has a lot more instances when I put him to sleep than when my husband does. My husband did a few successful PUPD routines with our baby on the weekend, but night sleep seems to be a challenge. We will try starting to bring him to bed a bit earlier to rule out overtiredness.
Yet, if that does not bring about any change, our son probably has a preference for me since he barely even fusses with me and cries a lot with my husband. We went through the routine and both of us are doing the exact same steps, so inconsistency is not the issue here.
I don't want to end up being the only one who can put our baby to sleep. He is also definitely a typical baby, not over-sensitive or particularly touchy, so that I am confident it must be possible for him to see us both as trusted caregivers in all daily activities. The only question is how do we achieve that?
@FlamedWater great question!
It's definitely normal for your baby to react to you and your husband differently. I don't believe the book says anything specific about how to solve this, but it's something hopefully your son will get used to with time.
My daughter would also react to PUPD differently with my husband, which was really frustrating for him, but over time, she got used to him putting her down (and even started to prefer him for a little while!).
I think the key is just to have consistent time for your husband to do PUPD every week, even if it can only be a few times. It's definitely super important that you aren't the only one who can do it! It might be a struggle for a little while, but it's important your husband keeps doing it and doesn't just default to you, even if it seems easier.
Other things you may want to consider are if your husband might feel anxious/nervous about doing PUPD. It's possible your son could pick up on that and have a more difficult time settling. Additionally, if you have an attitude/mindset of "my husband can't do this well, but I can", I think the baby can pick up on that too (babies can tell when you don't trust the person they're with). Just having a more relaxed attitude overall will certainly help!
On a bit of a tangent, about 4 weeks after we started PUPD (and we mostly didn't have to do it anymore), we had a babysitter for the first time who had to put my daughter down for her catnap and for bedtime. I was nervous about how it would go (I trained the sitter on PUPD but still wasn't sure), and it was one of the first nights my daughter immediately fell asleep and didn't even want anyone else in the room with her (I had to sit with her for a few minutes before I could leave at this point). I'm not sure exactly why she did so well with a totally different person - it could have been that I was out of the house and me putting her to bed wasn't an option so she didn't complain or resist falling asleep? Might be some food for thought - your son could just have a more difficult time with your husband because he thinks if he resists enough, then you'll come in and help (so definitely don't do that!).
Again, just be consistent and make sure your husband keeps pushing through!
@@xtinaxbabies thank you for the swift reply and the detailed explanation. We will do our best to power through 💪
Thanks for the great video, it really helps with all the technical assets of PUPD. I have just started sleep training with this method with my 5.5 month old baby boy, we are still at the beginning, but its promising! I have a question regarding PUPD: he’s on a 1.5 hour sleep schedule (2 long naps+a short one in the afternoon), and what I notice that its much easier to get him to sleep in the beginning of the nap, but when he wakes up after 45 minutes (nearly every time, to the minute), it’s almost
impossible to put him back to sleep with the method, without the props (which is nursing or rocking to sleep). How long should I continue to get him to sleep with the method? Should I stop after we reached the end of his naptime? I read that on the first nap of the day, I shouldnt compromise the sleep if he cant fall back without help, not to risk getting overtired in the beginning of the day. I know PUPD is all about being commited, but he’s getting super overtired because of it, should I still get on with it, risking the whole days schedule and mood? The same question goes for the nights, the first sleep at 20:00 with PUPD goes quite well, but after 2-2.5 hours (also almost to the minute), he wakes and cant get back without help, he’s up sometime 2 hours struggling, before passing out of tiredness, or reaching the point, when its actually time for him to eat (he is 100% breastfed still), and then pass out. These times, I’m balancing between letting him have his sleep with help, but I want to teach him how to get it on his own. He is also waking every 2 hours after midnight as well, I hope he’s going to be able to get back to sleep on his own, after he learned how to do that. So I’m torn between these problems. Thanks in advance!
Hey, thanks for commenting!
The waking up at 45 mins is a very common sleep issue! It's because your baby's sleep cycle is 45 minutes long, so he is waking naturally after one cycle. You should continue to use PUPD to help him get back to sleep and lengthen his nap. This means he will need to get used to linking sleep cycles together before you will see him be able to take a longer nap. This can be especially hard if he has never had a nap for longer than 45 minutes, or if you're used to calling it quits on the nap when he wakes up.
It can be exasperating to get in there and do PUPD for the remainder of the nap, but it is the only tool that can help him learn to go back to sleep once he's woken up. I do recommend committing to PUPD for the whole nap time, even if he doesn't fall back asleep. If you let him wake up early, you will never be able to teach him when he is supposed to be awake.
Yes, this might ruin your whole day and get him in a funky mood, especially if he is unable to get anymore sleep after 45mins. Once the nap is "over", you can feed and do an activity/wake time that doesn't overstimulate. You don't want to perpetuate the cycle of overtiredness, so keep an eye on his cues and try to put him down for his next nap when he's ready to sleep (but also do your best to push him a bit to when he's supposed to sleep! It can be hard but at this age, sleep cues are not as concrete as 'naptime'.). This might throw off the whole routine for the day, but if you can get him to practice sleeping and linking those daytime sleep cycles, then you'll see him have more success with it the next day. It might be helpful to plan 2 or 3 days in a row where you don't have to be anywhere or leave the house.
As for nighttime sleep, are you giving him a dreamfeed? If he's going to bed at 20:00, a dreamfeed could easily take place around 22:00-23:00. If he's waking around that time, it is likely out of hunger. Tracy Hogg recommends continuing the dreamfeed until 7 months, so by making sure you are implementing it between 22:00 and 23:00 (anything after that is a nighttime feed), you can hopefully help him sleep longer through the night. If you can pinpoint the exact minute that he usually wakes, try to do the dreamfeed before he wakes up, so that you can catch him more in a sleepy state and get him back to bed easier, though I wouldn't recommend it before 22:00.
Also, has he started solids yet? If not, he may be more hungry which is why he is waking so often at night. This could be a good sign that he is ready to start, even if he's not exactly 6 months yet (I started around 5.5 months with my daughter).
If hunger is the problem, start during the day with solids and making sure he is getting a good bedtime feed and dreamfeed, and don't feed at night. If you've been breastfeeding at all at night, then he may be waking up habitually instead of due to true hunger especially if it's a pretty consistent every-2 hour waking.
I can't remember where in the book, but I swear Tracy Hogg says infant sleep cycles at night are every 2 hours (opposed to 45-mins for daytime sleep). If that's the case, the waking may also be him having trouble linking nighttime sleep cycles together. Keep at the PUPD during the night for every waking and don't offer any props. I'll admit it's hardest at night, so the more work you put into the daytime (feeds and PUPD for naps), then hopefully you will see improvement through the night as well!
Remember - consistency is key! If you do fall back on any props, you are undoing the work you did with PUPD and teaching him you're not sure if it works or not. He will catch on to your consistency and confidence after a few days, and hopefully will begin to have more consolidated sleep!
I hope that answered everything for you - let me know if you have any further questions or need any clarification!
@@xtinaxbabies Thanks for the great reply! My issue with ending the naptime without falling back to sleep, is that after I want to continue the wake hour with nursing him, he sometimes falls asleep during eating and it turns into a shorter contact nap, which I dont want to interrupt, at least he’s sleeping then. But I know its a learning curve, we’ll get there. Dreamfeed I havent tried yet, but I’ll see if I can sneak some food in him before 23:00, our nights are fine before midnight, the heavy part comes after that, he’s waking every 1-1.5 hours, sometimes 30 minutes and cant fall back easily, even with help, it takes a long time. Solids might do the trick, we are starting nowadays, we’ll see how it goes, it might help. Thanks again!
@@jankaranka00 If you do have the Baby Whisperer book, I definitely recommend checking out pages 231-234 - it's a story that reminds me of the same nap issues you are experiencing, so hopefully it could shed more insight for you as well!
My baby is a grazer and breastfeeds for a small amount of time every 2ish hours. She's 5 months. Any tips?
Hey there! At 5 months, its age appropriate for your baby to be eating every 4 hours, 5 times a day total. The only way I know to kick the grazing habit is to start in the morning with the wake-up feed. Try to get her to eat as much as she can and then do not feed her until it's been 4 hours (you could do 3 hours if she seems really hungry). Since she's been grazing, her stomach doesn't have the chance to fully empty, so she can't even take in a full feed to energize her day. I'm assuming she is also not sleeping through the night because of this. If you give her the chance to take in only full feeds during the day (every 4 hours), she will eat enough to the point where she will not wake at night for food, because she will be receiving all her calories during the day.
I have a few videos you can check out that may help with this:
4-hour routine - ua-cam.com/video/7oCXgvEIRNg/v-deo.htmlsi=zt_s6qgg2byQwuTb
PUPD - ua-cam.com/video/xhu59aFuWCc/v-deo.htmlsi=tgDPrYfsr7cAHhgj
Currently watching this while holding my baby while she falls asleep…
Thanks for this vedio, my baby is 11mo, I thought it was already too late........
Question 1 - is it okay if I do it for night sleep or we HAVE to do both naps n night sleep?
Question 2- How do I know if I will survive or give up?...what if initially I feel I can do it, but after few nights I can't anymore?
@poweroflove2932 thanks for commenting!
The concern with only doing PUPD for nighttime sleep is that you would be doing a different method for naps, which could confuse your baby more. If they have no issues with nap sleep, then of course you wouldn't have to do PUPD, but if you use any other method to get them to sleep during the day, you won't be as effective in teaching them how to sleep. Babies thrive on consistency, so when one method is done over and over again, that is the best way for them to learn and adapt quickly.
The biggest tip I can offer for not giving up is to enlist help! Whether it is the father of the baby, or another close family member or friend, you should have at least one other person who can commit to doing PUPD with you. It's recommended that you do it consistently for 2 days/nights, and then the second person can do 2 days/nights. This will help you stay consistent and not lose heart with your efforts.
Hope this helps!
@@xtinaxbabieshow did it go? My son is 11 1/2 months old. He will be one in 2 weeks. We started sleep training 2 days ago and 8’ ready to cave in! Please let me know if it worked for you!
@@msezbreezy1
Keep at it! Especially as children grow, it will be harder for them to learn. Consistency is key!
if you haven't seen it already, here is a video of me doing PUPD with my first daughter when she was 4 months old. ua-cam.com/video/xhu59aFuWCc/v-deo.htmlsi=Mqjaym5mb51_MHup
Obviously, it will look different with a 1 year old, which I unfortunately don't have any experience with. However, I do have this video of another UA-camr Mom doing PUPD with her 1 year old:
ua-cam.com/video/LrppJt2kCJc/v-deo.htmlsi=vsPXK4dJle8o62I6
I think her description of PUPD is fairly accurate, and her example of doing it with her son is awesome.
Hi, my daughter is just 3 month old and she's eating every 3 hour... But I want to start researching about sleep training because my daughter doesn't want to sleep in her crib during her nap time. I actually tried PUPD once while she was just 2 month old and she just cried out loud. She cried much louder after every pick up and put down. So I am scared to try this method when she's 4 month again. She didnt seem to get tired of crying and couldn't fall asleep on her own until I hold her again. Any advice on my situation please?
Hey there, PUPD is not recommended for babies under 4 months of age. Until 4 months, they are not developmentally ready to self-soothe or fall asleep on their own without help. The concern here is that attempting PUPD too soon may mess with a baby's trust and make it harder to actually do PUPD once they are ready. If you only attempted it once a while ago, then this will likely not be an issue for you, but is something to keep in mind, just in case. I have a video about rebuilding trust in babies if you think you'll need it: ua-cam.com/video/w1Q7ex4WHIo/v-deo.htmlsi=Pt5JxRTIiGh1FNhv
Before you begin sleep training, you'll need to get your baby on a 4-hour routine. This is usually appropriate some time around 3.5 months. Here's my video on it: ua-cam.com/video/7oCXgvEIRNg/v-deo.htmlsi=5zAzp1ocDRtUPHwa
Once your baby is on a 4-hour routine and is 4 months old, you can begin with PUPD. I have another video here where I talk about PUPD and show myself doing it with my daughter when she was 4 months: ua-cam.com/video/xhu59aFuWCc/v-deo.htmlsi=ctLsXhzJwZHEWiSb
If you'd like to get started with sleep training early, you can start your baby off with the 4 S Routine method, which is the appropriate sleep-teaching method for babies under 4 months. You can start this if you want, but it isn't necessary in order to do PUPD at 4 months, but it can help your baby with the transition. ua-cam.com/video/MrMrxpDsFn8/v-deo.htmlsi=3HYLkeYLldezIpHr